


His World Was a Nightmare

by sam_bam16



Series: Dreaming in a Nightmare [1]
Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Backstory, Bullying, Captivity, Depression, Fluff, Gen, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Kidnapping, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Physical Abuse, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Verbal Abuse, it's not all horrible events
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-03
Updated: 2017-11-30
Packaged: 2018-08-12 20:01:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 178
Words: 469,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7947184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sam_bam16/pseuds/sam_bam16
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>He shouted to Kavinsky, "Get down!"</i><br/><i>But Kavinsky didn't look away from the two creatures. He said, "The world's a nightmare."</i><br/><i>- The Dream Thieves</i> </p><p>His world really was one.</p><p>UNDERGOING FULL ON EDITING: completely readable, just going back & correcting grammar/spelling stuff I missed</p><p> <br/><b>New Chpt Excerpt:<br/></b><br/>How did Raul just accept that his kid was a fag? “Bisexual, he says,” Ivo snorted in disgust. “As if being a half a fag isn’t a big deal. A fag is a fag.”</p><p>And his kid was one.</p><p>“Vesela’s kid,” he muttered as he popped off the lid for his whiskey before filing his glass. He didn’t want a faggot.</p><p>Would he regret that later?</p><p>Yeah, he probably would. But he’d worry about it when he got to that point. Not before.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> First off hello! This is my first time ever writing anything besides for research papers so any constructive criticism is fantastic and greatly appreciated. (Is the title any good? Took me forever to just think of something)
> 
> I always have plot bunnies running in my head but never had the guts to actually do anything about it. And anyone who knows me knows that for me its go huge or do nothing at all.
> 
> I figured you can't get bigger than a Joseph Kavinsky backstory.
> 
> I fell in love with his character the first time he was introduced - that single line in The Raven Boys isn't what I'm talking about. I think I've read almost all the fics about him and I came to realize that if I wanted a story the way I saw him, I was going to have to do it myself.  
> I don't mind reading the stories where he's all accepting about his sexuality and how the dream pack are in a poly relationship and things like that but it's not really the way I see it. I feel like he isn't accepting about himself, probably because it wasn't ok how he grew up. So the whole sexual stuff with the dream pack just doesn't seem entirely right.
> 
> So I'm setting out to write my view of his life. I sent the prologue to a friend (who is now my lovely beta) and she said that I should definitely write it out. So whether or not anyone likes the story, it's going to be completed for that one person who might.
> 
> One person, this is for you.
> 
> EDIT: Now that the story is finished, just something to say. Even if we’re fifty years from now – I’m legit serious – I’ll still answer comments and Snapshot requests. Just because this story is finished, doesn’t mean it’s closed. You didn’t understand something or need something clarified? Hell, comment as you read. I’ll answer. You just got random questions? Go for it. I’ll answer it all.

**_June_ **

 

It was dark.

_Really dark._

Normally, Joseph would have his nightlight plugged in but ever since he had turned seven three days ago, it wasn't allowed anymore. His father said that he was too big now to be afraid of the dark.

_“Time to grow up, Joseph,” his father smiled encouragingly, the nightlight in his hand. The encouraging smile somehow didn’t do it for Joseph. It was a deceiver._

Because he didn’t feel very big. Didn’t feel very grown up just because a date said so.

The dark terrified him. The last two nights were horrible and this one was shaping up to be a whole lot worse.

He should've never read that scary story book.

“Stupid,” he whispered into the night.

Joseph tried to think of anything and everything. Just something to take his mind and his thoughts instead of those monsters that might be hiding in his room.

_Just shut my eyes_ , he thought. _Shut my eyes and think about light._

_Light_

_Light_

_Light_

  

* * *

 

He felt pretty good. He stretched out, enjoying the feel of the grass under him.

_Grass?_

He opened his eyes. The tree branches above him looked beautiful with bits of the sky peeking through.

_Trees? Sky?_

Where was he?

Sitting up and looking around, Joseph realized he was in a forest. _I must be dreaming._

Hey, dreaming was better than the darkness of his room. He'd never felt so aware when dreaming before though. It felt pretty cool.

It felt…

Different.

“Like I'm awake,” he said, cutting through the silence of the forest.

A bird chirped somewhere. Another one answered. The branches swayed as a breeze came through.

“Way cool,” he murmured as he felt a smile growing on his face.

Standing up, Joseph decided he might as well explore. He continued walking along, looking around as he went. That's when his eyes caught on the glowing pile of leaves under a tree.

_Huh…_

Walking over, he dug through the leaves until his hand brushed against something small and hard. Almost like little glass bits.

He woke up.


	2. Chapter 1

_**September** _

 

“…forget that tonight is Back-To-School Night. I can’t wait to meet all of your parents,” Ms. Lyn said as she stood near the door.

Joseph sat at his desk fiddling with his bracelet. The school day was over in a couple minutes and he was eager to go. They had visited the school library today and he was ready to go home, run up the stairs, throw himself onto his bed, and get lost in one of his new stories. Maybe shuck off his shoes along the way – that’d probably be a good idea.

Being lost in the thoughts of a good-looking afternoon, he jumped when the bell rang. Jumping up from his desk, he walked as fast as he could to the door. Running would have been better but that wasn’t allowed in class or hallways and he always made sure to follow the rules. He would run home though; much faster that way. This would be his eighth time going home all by himself. Pride had filled his chest when his mother told him that he got to walk home alone this year since he was older.

Finally reaching the main doors of Thomas G. Connors Elementary, Joseph took off. Or at least as fast as his little legs could take him. The two books – the librarian was nice enough to let him check out two instead of one - in his bag definitely didn’t help.

Next thing he knew, his face met the cement.

“Oops, took a little spill Joey?” Tanner spouted out as he laughed while Marcus next to him snorted.

Tanner Lindsey. Just his luck. Tanner was a grade above him and for some reason had it out for Joseph since he started first grade last year. The first time they had met, Joseph had accidently bumped into him with his nose in a book and a chocolate milk in his hand. Tanner’s white shirt didn’t survive the encounter; for that matter, neither did Joseph’s lip. Being punched is a horrible experience.

He tried his best to simply get up and not show any pain. But god did his face hurt. Hands and arms too, now that he thought about it. And knees. Putting it simply, _everything_ hurt.

He felt the tears prickling, trying their best to escape their hold.

_No! I’m not gonna cry. Not in front of them. Especially not at school again or else tatko will really give me something to cry about like last time._

He was never good at keeping his tears in check. The dam broke.

_I’m sooo in trouble when tatko finds out._

“Aw, what’s wrong short stuff? Are you hurt? You poor thing,” Tanner chortled as he yanked Joseph to his feet. “Next time you should watch were you’re going stupid. So what do you have in your bag today? Anything good?” He said yanking away Joseph’s bag.

Tanner up-ended his bag onto the floor while Marcus held Joseph back and out came tumbling his homework folder and his brand new story books. Despite everything that was happening, he was really worried about the books getting damaged. Books to him were like a holy grail – whatever that actually was. He didn’t know but he noticed that people always said it with kind of a awe; so he figured it was a good word for books.

And of course the first thing Tanner went for was one of the books.

“Haha, you’re such a stupid nerd! Books! Probably the only friends you have dork,” he said while he a had a nasty smile plastered on his face.

“I have friends!” Joseph shouted, cutting through his sniveling and tears. But he knew he had said it too quickly, too defensive.

“Ya, okay maybe in your lame dreams. You’re the most friendless dork probably in the entire school. All you do is read and read and READ.”

With that, he began tearing.

“Stop, stop, STOP!” Joseph tore himself out of Marcus’ grasp and lunged for Tanner. He really had to save his book.

He landed on Tanner, dragging him down to the asphalt and yanked the booked from his hand. It was already ruined and abused but maybe he could somehow fix it?

“Are you three fighting? On my school grounds?”

Joseph jumped. _As if it couldn’t get any worse._ He groaned inwardly, raising his head up to look into the face of Principal Rogers.

“All of you to my office now. I don’t want to hear a peep out of any of you,” he said, his voice tinged with both annoyance and disappointment.

He stood staring until all three boys gathered themselves and their things and made the trudge to the principal’s office.

 

* * *

 

Joseph sat in one of the chairs outside of Principal Rogers’ office waiting for his mother to show. Tanner and Marcus’ parents had already come and gone, taking their children with them. If he had his bag he could at least do his homework or read one of his books but it had been confiscated until his mom showed. The nurse had left after patching him up, so there was no conversation there. And the office lady looked really mean, so he didn’t even want to bother there.

That meant sitting doing nothing and waiting for his mother to show.

He fiddled with his ever present bracelet as he sat, admiring how pretty he thought it was. The first time his father saw it a couple months ago and asked where it came from, Joseph said Dyado Timotei had given it to him.

He hadn’t really. But Dyado had seen the bracelet and admired it. He said if his father ever asked, just tell him he gave it to him.

“The truth shouldn’t be told about,” he had said.

Joseph felt like Dyado knew more than he was letting on.

He glanced up from his bracelet as he heard the clipping of heels. _Finally._

Walking into the office was his mother. Whenever people saw her the first thing they'd say is beautiful. And Joseph figured she must be; he wasn’t very good at telling these things though. Vesela Kavinsky’s head was filled with rich chocolate brown hair that went straight down her back. Not a single kink existed. With her high cheek bones and button nose, her pointy chin matched nicely – or so he’s heard. Joseph heard once something about fake parts but he wasn't exactly sure how or even if that was possible. It was amazing how much people loved to talk. But what he loved most about his mother’s looks was her eyes. He wished he had her crisp green eyes instead of his father’s boring brown ones.

She walked up to the mean looking office lady, who merely pointed at Joseph and then the principal’s office. His mother smiled at her, yanked him out of his seat, knocked on the door, and dragged him in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather


	3. Chapter 2

Joseph stared down at his plate. All that was left were his roasted Brussel sprouts. He loved vegetables but he drew a line at Brussel sprouts. Throughout dinner, he had felt the heavy weight of his father’s stare on him.

Not a very pleasant feeling.

Telling his father about what happened at school today was, according to his mother, his responsibility.

And oh, was he terrified.

They hadn’t even bothered with Back-To-School Night. His mother had met Ms. Lyn in the office today and she already knew the principal from the times he had gotten into trouble last year. _And today,_ he added to his thoughts.

He looked up at his father and plastered a smile on his face. “So… how was your day today, tatko?”

Ivo Kavinsky’s face darkened. Just from his face, Joseph could tell that his father knew he was trying to divert his attention. He hated Joseph lying as much as he hated him crying.

Which was to say, a whole lot.

“Fine,” his answered, his tone curt. “And yours?”

Butterflies fluttered in Joseph’s stomach. Probably some other creepy crawlers were in there too. Heck, probably a whole ecosystem was in there right now.

_This is gonna be really bad…_

“It was good,” he said, trying to make his smile even brighter like everything was completely fine. Make his lie even better, maybe?

“Good?”

“Yup.”

“Nothing interesting happened today?”

“Nope.”

“Hmm…,” his father hummed as he laid down his fork and stared intently at Joseph’s scratched and bruised face. “So nothing whatsoever?”

He bit his lip in his nervousness as he replied, “Nope.”

“Are you going to continue feeding me bullshit or are you going to answer me straight?”

Fear pitted at the bottom of Joseph’s stomach. It wasn’t going to just be really bad.

It was going to be really, really bad.

“It was just a fight, tatko, nothing else. It was stupid Tanner’s fault.” With every word, Joseph’s voice grew quieter, his mind trying to come up with a way where this wouldn’t turn out horribly. But he knew there was no way out of the inevitable punishment that was going to come. “He tripped me onto the cement and stole my bag, so I was just getting it back.”

His father snorted in disbelief and his voice was laced with contempt. “You make it sound as if you actually might have done any fighting. If you had, which I know for a fact you didn’t, I’d be bursting with pride. Knowing your pathetic ass, you just cried and let it happen.”

Joseph felt heat rising up to his face as he resumed staring at his sprouts. He dared a glance up at his mother, hoping she might feel like coming to the rescue today. It was a really stupid thought, though.

Because as usual, she didn’t. She simply stood up, gathering as much as dishes as she could carry and began walking over to the kitchen.

“You didn’t finish eating, mayko,” his murmured, his voice quivering. Joseph was hoping he could make her at least stay sitting with him. At least give the illusion that he wasn’t about to face his father’s anger alone like he always had to.

“I’m full,” she replied, not even bothering to look at him.

Dumping the dishes into the sink, she walked back towards them except turned and went up the stairs to her room.

He was very much on his own tonight.

Typical.

Joseph could take the school punishments – detention for a week, no checking out books for two weeks. He could even take the fact that he was pretty sure the librarian would never let him check out an extra book again. Those? Those were something he could get over easily.

His father’s punishments were not so easy. And they always hurt. Hurting caused tears.

And tears always made the situation way worse.

He glanced at his father, taking in all the anger written on his face. Joseph hoped tonight wouldn’t hurt too much. He wouldn’t even pray for no hurt at all – that was impossible – but just a little less pain would nice.

Just once.

“So…when are you going to learn to grow a pair?” his father asked, relaxing into his chair. “When are you going to stop being such a little bitch and defend yourself? When am I going to be able to tell everyone that my son actually threw a punch? I don’t think I’m asking for much here, Joseph.”

Joseph bit his lip as he felt the prickling begin in his eyes. His father was talking calmly, in an even tone. One would think they were just having a normal conversation but he knew his father’s anger and knew that he was always calm when it came around. It wasn’t an explosion and surprisingly yelling was rare.

But this strange calm was a thousand times worse.

“Well, am I?” his father repeated, his eyes like ice.

“No,” Joseph whispered, trying his best to halt his tears before they arrived.

“Sorry, didn’t catch that. Can you raise your voice?”

“No, tatko.”

“I agree,” he said while nodding his head. “So why is it that you can’t manage it? How is it that I got stuck with a sniveling bitch as a son? Hardly fair, I think. What do you think?”

“Not fair at all,” Joseph replied softly. Then repeated himself louder so his father could ‘hear’.

His father stood from his chair and Joseph’s heart dropped thousands of feet while the tears began to flow. Hiccupping on his tears, he tried to subtly wipe his nose that started to run from his panicked cries.

Face filling with disgust at the sight of Joseph crying, his father yanked him out of his chair by his hair. Pain seared through him which made the tears come even faster.

“For fuck’s sake, stop crying!” his father snarled, his voice rising just slightly and his face filled with not only disgust now but contempt too. He dragged Joseph over to the living room while still clutching him by his hair, throwing him to one of the couches.

And then he took off his belt.

“I thought I beat those fucking tears out of you last time, you little bitch.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather


	4. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT:  
> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)  
> Obvs if you've been here before, this note was never here. I'm trying to polish my ramblings. There's a master page on my tumblr if you wanna check it out with a story list.

September finished and October was slowly coming to a close. Joseph sat on his bed while reading a book as he waited for his grandfather to show. He loved dyádo Timotei a lot and always looked forward to when he came over for dinner.

Plus, he always brought something with him which was always delicious.

Joseph wasn’t his only grandchild; Timotei Dobrev had two other grandchildren from his older daughter, Joseph’s tétka Nikol. But he always felt like his grandfather liked him the best. Which was fantastic because he noticed no else really did.

The doorbell rang.

Putting his book down carefully on his nightstand, he bolted out of his room and down the stairs.

“Dyádo!” Joseph exclaimed in happiness, a huge smiling lighting up his face and his arms outstretched for a hug once he reached the wonderful old man.

“Joseph!” his grandfather smiled, closing the distance and grabbing him into a hug. “How are you, my dear vnuk?”

“Good!” Joseph replied excitedly. “And you? I asked mayko to make that pasta that you liked at that restaurant we ate at last time. She’s been tryin’ all day to make it perfect for you! I bet it is! It smells really good!”

His grandfather chuckled “Yes, yes, I imagine it will be delicious! Your mother is quite the cook no matter how much she used to hate it.” Turning to Joseph’s mother, he laughed “Even better than your sister these days, eh Vesela?”

“I’m better than her at everything. You know that, tate,” she proclaimed, a smile slowly arising as she winked.

“Ah, so conceited,” he said in a light happy tone, smiling over in Joseph’s direction. “Come then, vnuk, let’s go sit outside while we wait for the food and your father.”

He handed a bag to Joseph’s mother before they walked over to the sliding door and out into the backyard. Walking down the deck stairs, they went over to the grass where the patio chairs were as Joseph told his grandfather about the happenings of school and about the new book he was reading.

“Have you anything new to show me since the last time we saw each other?” his grandfather asked, cutting off Joseph mid-sentence.

“New?” he asked in confusion, his thoughts still lost in a fantasy world. Then understanding hit him. “Oh! New! Yes, I do! Just one thing though and its little but I got it just for you!” he called right before he dashed into the house and up to his room, leaving his grandfather chuckling in his wake.

He dove to the floor – ignoring possible rug burn – and dragged a box out from under his bed. It was his special box where he kept all of his secret things. Technically, the box was special too because it would only open for Joseph but he couldn’t put the box inside itself. Opening it, he grabbed what he wanted, closed the box back up, and tucked it back under the bed. Bouncing to his feet, he quickly dashed back to his grandfather.

“Here you go! Do you like it?” Joseph asked with a hopeful smile on his face. He sure hoped he would. It took a bit of work to make it as pretty as it was.

Taking the object from Joseph and holding it up, as if appraising its quality, his grandfather murmured in awe “Ah, vnuk, it’s beautiful. You remembered mine broke, did you?”

Joseph nodded with happiness. “I thought you would like a new one! It matches you great dyádo.”

His grandfather opened the clasp of the necklace and put it around his neck, the cross resting upon his chest. It had a simple chain and a small but ornate orthodox cross dangling on it. He had a small smile on his content face. “I love it, Joseph.”

Joseph beamed. He was so happy and proud about the necklace. It was a bit of work to get right and the fact that his grandfather loved it made it even better.

Looking up from the necklace and at Joseph, his grandfather reached out and dragged Joseph into his lap. “Aye, dyádo, I’m too big to be sitting in laps,” he said slightly annoyed while trying to get up.

But his grandfather held him tight. “Aye, Joseph,” he said, lovingly mocking him. “Sit, I have something to share with you. And you will never be too old to be sitting in my lap.”

“I doubt that,” he said grudgingly but he sat still nonetheless. “What do you want to tell me?” he asked curiously.

“Two things actually. One is something about you and the other is one of my secrets. A very secret secret that you cannot tell anyone at all. Do you understand?”

Joseph gazed at him curiously, “No one at all?”

“Not a soul.”

“Okay,” he replied, suddenly very serious because this was a very serious matter. “I promise I won’t tell a single person.”

“Very good,” his grandfather said, nodding his head. “First that thing about you, my dear vnuk-”

“Tate! Joseph! Ivo is here and the food is ready!” Joseph’s mother called out from the house, interrupting the conversation to Joseph’s distress.

“Well then! I suppose it’s going to have to wait until later, yes?” his grandfather chuckled while taking in Joseph’s annoyed expression.

He huffed, grudgingly standing up. “Fine…”

 

 

Joseph kept glancing over to his grandfather, wishing for the millionth time that he would eat faster. But no, he seemed intent on eating slowly. Taking a bite here, adding his bit in the conversation with Joseph’s father there, and taking a sip of his wine on what felt like across town.

He couldn’t take it anymore. He really wanted to know the secrets. But it didn’t look like the old man was moving so Joseph decided he may as well do something as he waited. “May I be excused please, mayko?”

She glanced at his plate, making sure everything was finished. “Yes you may. I’ll call you when I put dessert. Dyádo brought cheesecake with him.”

“Yes!” he shouted only to catch himself a second later. “I mean, thank you dyádo!”

His grandfather had a hearty smile on his face. “You’re much welcome, vnuk.”

Getting up and making sure to pick up his dishes and to push in his chair, he thanked his mother for the food. He walked over to the kitchen to put his dishes in the sink before running off to his room. There was still a book he had to finish.

Glancing at his clock and closing his newly finished story, Joseph realized an hour had passed. He chastised himself. _You should be reading faster than that, stupid._ Joseph read at a 3 rd grade level which was something he was really proud of. Even his father could find no fault in his reading skills. But he felt like he read a little slower at this level. _I just need more practice is all._

Hearing his mother finally calling him down for dessert, he bounced off his bed and bounded down the stairs excitedly to the dining room. He found his father and grandfather zipping up some bags before his father took them to put them away as his grandfather settled down to eat his cake. _Business stuff._

Joseph didn’t know exactly what his father worked but he knew that his grandfather was his father’s boss and some of the stuff they did wasn’t good. From some of the conversations he had listened in on – God help him if his father ever caught him – there were guns and other bad stuff included. He also knew that his father was going to inherit the entire empire when his dyádo passed. He always wondered what the ‘empire’ actually was. He also prayed that dyádo wasn’t going to die anytime soon. _I’d sure miss him a lot_.

Sitting down to enjoy his cheesecake, he glanced again to the clock and counted that he had another forty minutes before he had to sleep. Hopefully his father and grandfather would be done talking with each other before then.

He stayed with them, pushing his luck with his time, knowing that he was going to get yelled at soon for not getting himself ready for bed. Eventually, his father remembered him, glancing at Joseph then the time. “Joseph,” he said, the warning evident in his tone.

Joseph glanced at his grandfather, hoping he didn’t forget what he had told him earlier. Probably not sense he smiled at Joseph knowingly. “How about I help you get ready?”

“That’s hardly necessary,” his father muttered in an annoyed tone.

“No, it’s fine. I want to spend a little more time with him before he has to sleep. Come now, vnuk, you never did finish telling me about your book.” His grandfather said, directing the last part to Joseph.

“Goodnight tatko, g’nite mayko.” Joseph called quickly before jumping up to lead his grandfather away.

They both murmured their farewells as Joseph and his grandfather made their way up to his room. Shutting the door quietly behind them, Joseph sat beside his grandfather on the bed, glancing up to him expectantly. “Well, dyádo?” he questioned impatiently, “I’ve been waiting forever.”

“It hasn’t really been forever, but, yes, I suppose it has been a bit of time. First off, the one about you, yes?” Joseph nodded eagerly. “Well, it’s quite simple really,” his grandfather’s voice suddenly full of seriousness. “I know what you are.”

Joseph stilled as he bit his lip. There was no point in lying, he figured. _He never really wondered where I kept getting the stuff I was showing him. I mean, hello, the necklace. He didn’t even get slightly curious…_ After a couple minutes, Joseph shrugged. He didn’t think it would be a problem. Plus, he didn’t seem to make it an issue. “And your secret, dyádo?”

“Thank you for not trying to lie to me, Joseph. Now I feel even better about telling you my secret because I can trust you.”

_Good thing I didn’t try to deny it._

“My father was just like you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Прадядо (prádyado) – great-grandfather


	5. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)

Even a few days later, he just couldn’t wrap his mind around it.

 _“My father was just like you. But you mustn't tell anyone, vnuk. Not about your_ _prádyádo_ _and definitely not about yourself. Especially, do not tell your bashtá. Do you understand Joseph?”_

Joseph had nodded to his grandfather and swore that he would never ever tell.

_So does it get passed down? The way hair and stuff does? But why did it skip dyádo? Hmm…_

Lost in his thoughts of just what in the world was he and his power, Joseph continued home from school. He decided that maybe some research was in order. Recently, he had learned a bit about conducting proper research when they had to do an animal project last week at school. Putting his new skills to use sounded like a good idea. Deciding to stop home before making his way to the library, Joseph ran the rest of the way to his house. He wanted to have as much as time possible.

Yelling a quick “I’m home!” to his mother and dashing up the stairs, he emptied his bag of his school stuff just in case he decided to get some books. He left only a notebook and two pencils before he ran back downstairs. Leaving his bag on the floor near the door, Joseph made a quick stop to the bathroom and then the kitchen. In order to silence his growling stomach, he grabbed a granola bar, a banana, and a bag of M&M’s to take with him.

Stuffing them into his bag and getting ready to go, Joseph realized his mother had never answered him or come to say hello like she always did. _Weird…_ “Mayko?” he called out, straining his ears for an answer.

Huffing, he walked back up the stairs. _Probably napping or something._ He knocked on her bedroom door and waited for a reply. The last time he had walked in before one of his parents gave him permission, he had gotten into trouble. Nothing new now that he actually thought about.

Still not hearing a reply after a couple minutes, he slowly opened the door with his heart beating nervously. “Mayko?”

The room was empty.

 _Even weirder._ _I guess I’ll call her phone?_

He walked back down the stairs and went into his father’s office. Sitting on the leather swivel chair, Joseph grabbed the house phone, dialing his mother’s number and waited for her to answer.

And waited.

Until he went all the way to voicemail.

 _Huh…this is just seriously weird. Maybe I should call tatko?_ He couldn’t help but shudder from the thought. Joseph kind of didn’t want to. Simply speaking with his father scared him sometimes. Making up his mind and huffing once more, Joseph became both worried for and annoyed with his mother as he dialed his father. _Please be in a good mood._

Then he remembered that he forgot to tell his mother that school got out early today. _Stupid, she’s probably just shopping or something. Duh._

“Hello?”

He forgot to hang up. _Dang._

“Hello?” his father said again, slightly annoyed.

“Tatko?”

“Joseph? What are you doing home?”

“Today was an early day,” he started nervously, “but I forgot to tell mayko, so she isn’t home. But she’s probably just out shopping or something. Sorry for bothering.” He hoped his apology was enough.

“Hmm…”

“Tatko, can I go to the library? Mayko isn’t here and she didn’t answer her phone or else I was gonna ask her.”

His father was silent in reply to his question. Those silences always made Joseph uncomfortable. The silence continued on to where Joseph wasn’t sure if his father had actually heard the question. _Should I ask again or just let it go?_

“Joseph?”

“Hmm?” he answered nervously, gnawing on his lip.

Then he heard a question he never thought he would hear from his father.

“Would you like to do something together today?”

 

 

Locking the house and walking over to his father's car, Joseph was nervous. Ideally, spending the day with his father sounded really cool and fun. But this was _his father_ ; ideals didn’t come into play here.

His father loved beautiful things. He loved to show his wealth and all the nice things he owned. He had the beautiful family, the expensive house, the latest and newest technologies, and the amazing cars.

Joseph loved cars. Specifically, his father's. He had a collection stored in a specially renovated warehouse and when he felt like switching cars, he would.

Like today.

Today, he was driving one of Joseph's favorites and one that he had only rode in once before. He opened the door to a beautiful, sleek, black Lamborghini Murciélago practically drooling from all its glorious beauty. God, he loved this car.

Getting in, he gave a small nervous smile to his father. “Afternoon, tatko.”

“Afternoon, Joseph. How was school?” his father replied while wearing a broad smile. It looked good on his handsome face. Joseph wished he would do it more often. Or at least smile for Joseph more often sense he probably smiled for other people already.

But the fact that his father was smiling was weird. Really weird _. But something tells me this whole day is gonna be…_

“It was good. We got our math tests back today. I was the only one who got everything right,” he said, his voice filling with some pride for himself. Joseph would love to hear some from his father just once.

“Really? Well then, very good job. I’m impressed.”

Joseph didn’t think he actually was but it was nice to hear anyways. “Thanks, tatko. So, what are we going to do today?” Curiosity was eating at him.

“Well, I want to check something first, then we can grab some lunch. What do you think?” his father asked as he drove, obviously already having made the decision.

“Sounds good,” he murmured hesitantly, nervous to ask his next question. “Can I pick where we eat?”

“Of course!” his father replied, that odd smile still plastered on his face.

_Okay… Should I think weird again? Probably…_

_Totally weird._

Joseph decided to shut down his thinking and just enjoy the fact he was in the Lamborghini and about to get some lunch. The school’s food today was gross and he had only taken a granola bar with him. He continued to be lost in his happy food thoughts for the reminder of the drive which was barely ten minutes which was good because Joseph was starving. When he actually paid attention to where they were, he was surprised by the errand.

“Tatko, why are we at an inn?” Joseph couldn’t think of any reason for them to be at, he squinted at the sign, Haiban Inn.

“My errand, remember? I just need to check something,” he answered, although he seemed to be not really paying attention to Joseph. He was scanning the parking lot carefully. _Looking for someone’s car maybe?_

One of the cars caught Joseph’s eyes. “Huh, that looks like mayko’s car… but why would she be at an inn?” he murmured, mostly to himself.

“Why indeed,” his father quietly answered, tapping the steering wheel under his fingers. “So!” he said suddenly, almost cheerfully. “Where would you like to eat today? Pick anything you like.”

He gazed curiously at his father. _Something is definitely not right… But what?_

Joseph couldn’t put his finger on it but he’d think on it later. Right now, he was hungry.

“Can we go to Dom’s Bakery? I want pizza and some bread. And a pastry too. Please, tatko?”

“Ah, good taste, Joseph. And you can even get two pastries if you like.”

_This is getting too weird._

Putting a huge smile on his face, he said “Thank you, tatko.”

 

 

After enjoying his food, Joseph decided he was going to try and push for one last thing. Looking up to his father across the table, he asked “Can we go the library?” He wouldn’t dare to try and research anything but he did want some new books. Those were always welcome.

“Of course! Maybe I’ll find something for myself too. I haven’t read anything good in a while,” his father answered, still wearing that freakish cheerful smile.

“You read?” Joseph asked his nose scrunching up in confusion. When had he ever seen a book in his father’s hands. But then, he didn’t spend time with him so maybe Joseph had never noticed? It took him a couple seconds but with a panicking heart, he realized that he had sounded rude. Hopefully his father’s cheer would overlook it.

It was then that his father did something that was new to Joseph’s ears – he laughed. An actual real, good-natured laugh. Joseph was beyond shocked. He wanted to think _weird_ again but he didn’t want his brain to keep repeating.

“Of course I read!” he said good-naturedly. “Where did you think you got your brain from, your mother? She hasn’t a brain cell in there!”

That made Joseph think. Were his parents fighting? His mother was absolutely brilliant with a whole ton of brain cells. Why would his father knock her down like that?

“She’s just a lovely face is all, nothing more,” he continued before he winked and added “Fantastic company too.” Something told Joseph that his father didn’t mean it the way he thought he did from the weird smile he wore.

It surprised him when a shadow suddenly crossed his father’s face and he muttered under his breath something in Bulgarian. Joseph’s Bulgarian was pretty good but he didn’t know what a single one of the words were. _Something bad probably…_ As much as his father cursed, he seemed against Joseph learning explicit things in Bulgarian. Thinking on it now, it really didn’t make any sense.

Hours later, while getting himself ready for bed, Joseph looked back on his day. Weird, yes, but all in all really good. _It actually turned out really fun. Who woulda thought?_

That is, it was fantastic up until…

It wasn’t.

Thankfully, he thought selfishly, the abuse wasn’t directed towards him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Kavinsky died in 2013. He's seven here. That'd be in 2002. In case anyone was wanting to look up how the Lambo looked that'd be the year.
> 
>  
> 
> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Прадядо (prádyado) – great-grandfather


	6. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)

It had started with him hearing his mother’s raised voice. He hadn’t thought much of it. His parents had argued before; it wasn’t like it was something new. Everyone argued once in a while. But Joseph started to worry when he heard his father’s raised voice. He wasn’t just loud.

He was actually yelling.

His father didn’t yell. He was far more effective and terrifying with his oddly calm voice. For him to be yelling? Whatever they were fighting about had to be really bad.

Joseph caught snippets here and there but he tried his best not to focus on it. He grabbed his stuffed cat who was actually a dream object. The thing wasn’t anything special though, and was actually quite ugly. However, Joseph loved it anyways. Lying down on his bed, he wrapped his body with his blanket and curled in on himself. Tucking his head under the blanket, he looked at the little glowing leaf charms of his bracelet. He didn’t fear the dark like he used to. The bracelet had helped a lot; Joseph didn’t even use it as much as before but he thought tonight would be a good day as any.

Shutting his eyes as hard as he could, he tried to be anywhere besides here. He wanted to be somewhere where he didn’t have to hear things breaking and shattering. Somewhere where he didn’t have to hear the terrifying yell of his father calling his mother a disgusting, lying, cheating whore. Where he didn’t have to listen to his mother’s tearful cries calling her husband a heartless bastard who didn’t give a shit about anyone but himself.

“Haha, you’re wrong there, you bitch! I spent the day taking your son where he liked while you were busy fucking some man who obviously wasn’t me!” his father shouted back in reply.

“You make it sound like you actually care about him! You don’t give a shit! You never have and never will!” she shouted back, her voice broken by her tears but no less defiant.

“I never wanted him!” his father yelled with vehemence.

Yanking his pillow over his head while clutching his cat even closer and trying his best not to get tears and boogers on his scruffy fur, Joseph tried not to focus on the now slightly muffled reply of his mother.

“…pregnant by myself! …wanted… either!

_Anywhere but here. Anywhere but here! PLEASE!_

All the noises eventually went to the background as he cried himself to sleep.

 

 

He awoke in his forest, with the only noises being the soft sound of the birds chirping and the run of the small creek where the fish were.

_Thank you._

Joseph breathed out slowly, trying to relax. He wasn’t looking to take anything today, he just wanted some peace.

And the forest had kindly given it to him.

He sent up another thanks to whatever magical being controlled the whole dream existence and made himself comfortable on the grass. All he wanted was to just feel safe and rest. Peaceful sleep was the small simple thing Joseph was looking for.

And his forest obliged, while also sending him off with something to help him keep himself safe.

Awakening to silence, Joseph quietly took a few steadying breaths. What was ironic – he had just learned the word and loved it – was that it was just as terrifying as the yells were. Untucking his head and glancing over at his clock, he realized it was only two in the morning. _Well, at least I slept through the rest of it._ He only then realized he had something other than Mr. Cat in his hand.

He was holding a knife.

It felt awkward and heavy resting in his small palm. He was about to turn on his bedside lamp when he realized that it probably wasn’t the best idea. Joseph didn’t know where his parents exactly were at the moment but he didn’t want to risk his father seeing the glow under his door.

A proper examination would have to wait until later then.

Tucking his new knife under his pillow, he got up and made his way to his bedroom door. Slowly opening it, Joseph stuck his head out into the hallway and glanced around. He thought he saw a glow under his parents’ bedroom door and maybe heard his mother’s sniffles but he wasn’t too sure. Turning his head in the other direction, he noticed that all looked dark downstairs. _Should I take a look? I can just say I was getting water. No big deal, right?_

Joseph sure hoped not.

Walking back to his bed and grabbing Mr. Cat, he very slowly and quietly made his way downstairs. Reaching the bottom stair, he wished his bracelet to turn off, and tiptoed his way to the kitchen. Constantly glancing left and right so not to be caught unawares by his father because it was probably his mother upstairs, Joseph walked to the dishwasher to take out a cup.

Of course the stupid thing was empty. _When exactly did she find time to put the dishes away?_

Huffing, he looked around for his stool. _Ah, stupid, it’s in the garage!_

Plan B then.

Setting Mr. Cat down on the island, Joseph jumped up onto the counter in front of the cupboard where the cups were, grabbing himself one from the shelf. Jumping back down albeit carefully, he filled some water from the fridge, and raised the cup to have a drink.

“This thing is hideous.”

Yelping in surprise and almost dropping his cup, he turned to face his father. _I didn’t even hear him!_ Staring at his father holding Mr. Cat, he tried to slow his heartbeat down enough to be able to reply in a steady voice. “Yeah, he is.”

His father raised an eyebrow at him, or at least in the near dark that’s what it looked like. “You agree? I have to admit, I thought you’d say something more like ‘No tatko, he’s adorable!’ But Jesus, Joseph, he is something.”

“I think he has some character is all,” he said, shrugging his shoulders while trying to stay as calm as possible. “But just because he’s ugly doesn’t mean I don’t like him. He’s my favorite stuffed animal.”

“Hmm…” his father hummed, turning Mr. Cat this way and that. “This ugly creature have a name?”

“You’re gonna think it’s stupid…” Joseph murmured back, biting his lip.

“Nothing new when it comes to you. Enlighten me.”

Joseph grated his lower lip between his teeth, “Mr. Cat. Nice and simple.”

Glancing down at the plush in his hand once more, his father closely examined Mr. Cat. “I mean, I guess he looks like a cat. Maybe a feral one that got fucked up in an alley.” He continued staring at the plush as if it was the most interesting thing he’d ever seen. “Where did you get it anyways? I know that neither that bitch or I bought Lord Hideous for you.”

Blood going cold, he stammered out, “Dyádo gave him to me.”

“Really? Usually he has better taste. He looks like some Halloween prop or something.”

His father hated Halloween. Really, really hated it. Every year since he learned what it was, Joseph would nervously ask if he could get a costume and go trick-or-treating like all the other kids. And every year the answer was no. Last year he asked if he could just go for candy – he didn’t need the costume or all decorations – but it was still a no. If he wanted candy, his mother could buy him some.

It wasn’t even for religious reasons like his grandfather, it was simply that he had never celebrated it as a child and he had no intentions of allowing Joseph to either. He wasn’t even going to bother asking this year. He didn’t think he was going to be able to ask for candy either, being that Halloween was only a few days away and his home was currently a very unhappy place.

He wondered if his mother was okay.

Joseph had never seen his father hit her before but he wouldn’t be surprised if it happened. _Maybe I should see if she needs some of that numb cream I dreamed up. She probably wouldn’t ask about where it came from anyways._

Making up his mind to check on her tomorrow after his father left, he realized his father was still standing and staring at Mr. Cat.

“He’s really not that bad, tatko.” Maybe he actually was but as the cat’s owner, Joseph was allowed to think of his creation as ugly. It came with the rights of ownership.

“No, I really think he is,” his father murmured before handing Mr. Cat back to Joseph. “Off to bed now.”

“’Kay,” Joseph whispered before he took his dream plush back. Wishing his father a goodnight, he walked back to his awaiting bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Прадядо (prádyado) – great-grandfather


	7. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)

Saturdays generally were all the same. His mother would make a big nice breakfast – pancakes, eggs, bacon, and toast. Juice for him and coffee for each of his parents. They would all sit at the table enjoying whatever their reading was for the day. Joseph usually had a book, his father the newspaper, and his mother a magazine when she didn’t steal the newspaper first.

Upon waking up, Joseph realized that today was definitely not going to be like that. Getting up and making his bed, he grabbed Mr. Cat and walked to his adjoining bathroom to wash up. Once that was accomplished, Joseph walked out of his room and stood in the upstairs hallway.

The house was so quiet. It freaked him out a bit.

He walked down to the kitchen and upon not finding anyone to enjoy breakfast with, he decided to just have some cereal.

Which was in one of the top cupboards.

Groaning at both his luck and his stupid height, he trudged over to the connecting door of the garage to retrieve his step stool. He couldn’t even remember what he had been trying to reach that day. Walking in, Joseph noticed that his father’s car was already gone. He had expected as much. Grabbing his stool, he went back to enjoy his breakfast in the company of Mr. Cat.

An hour passed while he sat in the kitchen, still very alone. Joseph’s mother still hadn’t come down. _I should go check on her. He probably really did hurt her._

Leaving Mr. Cat behind on the island, he went to his room and grabbed the numbing cream. He made his way down the hallway to his parents’ room, making sure his nerves didn’t overrun him. When he reached the door and knocked, he waited for her to let him in.

Nothing.

Joseph knocked again, this time calling out. “Mayko?”

Silence again. Then a tentative ‘come in.’

Two things shocked him when he walked in. One was the half-filled suitcase on the bed. The second was her face. He had already come to the possibility that his father had hit her but this? Joseph hadn’t been expecting this.

The first thing he noticed was the hand-shaped bruise on her cheek. _That must’ve really hurt; probably still does._ Then, he noticed everything else. The busted lip. The black-eye. The cut above her eyebrow that probably needed stitches. And then he imagined everything he couldn’t see but knew had to be there from his own experience. The finger-shaped bruises wrapped around upper-arms. The possible scabs where hair was pulled way too hard. Bruises from being slammed into things.

He was truly horrified.

Then it occurred to him.

The suitcase.

 _She can’t be leaving?! She wouldn’t leave me, would she?_ “Mayko?” he started quietly. “Mayko, why do you have your suitcase out?”

She stared at him for a few seconds before turning back to packing, completely ignoring him.

His voice was filled with the worry that he was about to be left behind when he spoke. “You…you can’t _leave_ …mayko, you’re not leaving, are you?”

All this and yet she still wouldn’t answer him. Wouldn’t even look at him.

“Mayko?” Joseph said yet again, his voice growing slightly hysteric. “Mayko, _please!_ You…you can’t leave!” He was trying to hold back his panicked tears but he knew it wouldn’t be long until the damn broke. With more minutes of being continually ignored, Joseph’s damn didn’t just break.

It shattered.

The tears flowed like they never did before. He couldn’t take the thought of her leaving him behind. Yes, she wasn’t the best mother but she was _his_ and that was all that mattered.

Not able to deal with the weight anymore, Joseph sat on the floor and broke down, letting out everything.

Still, she wouldn’t even spare him a quick glance.

Finishing her packing and grabbing her coat, his mother walked out of the bedroom, Joseph listening as her steps faded. She called out behind her, “It’s only for a little while, Joseph, stop crying. Maybe grow up while you’re at it. You know your father hates it when you cry.”

And with that she was out the door and gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Прадядо (prádyado) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife


	8. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> I hope you guys are enjoying the story so far!

Joseph wasn’t sure how long he sat there crying but he didn’t move until he didn’t have any tears left.

He was alone.

Sure, he had his father but Joseph didn’t feel like that was any sort of consolation. His father was not an easy man.

Slowly picking himself up because he couldn’t just sit here, Joseph made his way to his room and uncovered his knife after putting away the cream. Had no use for it now.

The knife was really pretty, he could say that much. It was a black switchblade and as much as Joseph wanted to open it up, he knew it was a bad idea. He’d probably just cut himself on it. He was flattered that the forest gave him something for safety but this was definitely not what he had in mind. Putting it in his special box with the other dream stuff, he went down to fetch Mr. Cat and sit outside. The house had a very ill feeling on the inside. Spending another minute in it would drive him insane.

It was cold outside; typical weather for Hoboken this time of year. _Probably shoulda put on a coat and some shoes…_ He was only wearing his pajamas but at the moment, he really didn’t care. Joseph could literally freeze and he wouldn’t care right now.

Sitting on the porch steps, he stared out at the street, clutching Mr. Cat as tight as he could. After what seemed like a really long time – it must have been because he was starving – Joseph lost the feeling in his butt. The concrete stairs were really cold. He thought about getting up and making a sandwich or something but it seemed like too much work. These thoughts were interrupted when the sound of loud engine of what must be a really nice car hit his ears.

Looking down the street, Joseph noticed his father was driving in a car Joseph had never seen before but instantly loved. It was beautiful. A classic muscle car that, at his tender age of seven, he wanted.

Turning into the driveway, his father parked in the garage but came walking back out instantly. “What are you doing outside?” His voice almost sounded concerned but Joseph knew that wasn’t possible. His father didn't care. He remembered his yelling voice yesterday.

_“I never wanted him!”_

Repeating himself as he walked up the stairs, he stopped just in front of him and crouched down so his face was level with Joseph’s. “Joseph? Why are you outside?”

He simply shrugged, not feeling up to answering. His father hated non-verbal answers but just like with everything else, Joseph didn’t care right now.

Touching his hands, his father suddenly grabbed them when he noticed how cold they were. “Jesus, Joseph, you’re freezing! How long have you been sitting here?” He shrugged again, still looking out into the street with Mr. Cat sitting peacefully in his lap. “Christ, you’re burning up,” his father said after touching Joseph’s forehead. “Even Lord Hideous is cold. Come on inside before you freeze to death.”

“I don’t want to go inside,” he whispered, finally willing to answer because he really didn’t want to go in. He still wasn’t ready to face the empty insides. How was it home when his mother wasn’t there? _How can she just leave me?_

Joseph just didn’t understand.

His father stared at him closely. Joseph was sure his father already knew that his wife had left and he probably already guessed why Joseph was sitting outside. For that matter, also why Joseph didn’t want to go back in.

Ivo Kavinsky was always a very smart man.

Getting up, his father went inside, leaving Joseph on the stairs. Resting his head on his knees and clutching Mr. Cat even closer, he started to cry. He didn’t care if his father heard or saw him, he just knew he couldn’t hold it anymore.

The tears hadn’t finished yet when he heard his father come back out and felt him sit beside him. He put a jacket on Joseph’s shoulders and a blanket on top of that. Grabbing Joseph’s feet, he slipped on another pair of socks and some shoes. Joseph could feel the heavy weight of his father’s stare on him. But what happened next, he certainly didn’t expect.

His father hugged him.

Wrapping his arms tight around him, his father held him close. He laid his head atop Joseph’s as he murmured something that Joseph didn’t catch. But it didn’t matter. Just like it didn’t matter that it was possible his father was using him like yesterday to throw it in his mother’s face. Like it didn’t matter that this man never wanted him in the first place.

All that mattered was that it was a hug. And Joseph was in desperate need of one.

They sat like that until Joseph cried himself out. Unwinding himself from Joseph, his father reached over behind himself and handed Joseph a sandwich. Peanut Butter. Bananas on one half, grape jelly on the other.

Joseph never realized his father actually ever paid attention to how he loved his sandwiches.

“I thought you might be hungry. I also brought hot chocolate but it’s probably cold now. I’ll get up and make some fresh.” With that he stood and grabbed the mugs of chocolate goodness, going inside.

Joseph was shocked.

But then, he did spend all of yesterday that way too. And look how that turned out. Maybe not feeling anything would be better. Maybe he should work on that.

He had kind of warmed up a bit as he munched on his sandwich, waiting for his cocoa. Coming back out with two mugs of it, his father sat back down before handing one to Joseph and staring out to the street.

“Do you like my car? Took me awhile to get it. Quite hard to get actually,” his father said, making conversation to fill their silence.

Joseph nodded, “It’s really cool looking. What kind is it? It’s a muscle car, right?” He felt emotionally stable enough to hold a conversation about cars at the moment. And he was no longer starving – the sandwich was delicious.

“A Chevy,” he answered after taking a sip of his cocoa. “1970 Chevelle SS. And not just any – it’s the 454 LS6. Cost a bundle, that’s for sure.”

“Tatko, all your cars cost a bundle.” Joseph replied matter-of-factly.

“Ha, that they do, that they do,” his father snorted with a small smile on his face.

They continued sitting on the steps until they finished their drinks. Joseph turned to look at his father who, in turn, looked back. “Something wrong?” his father asked.

Joseph only laughed at that. What wasn’t wrong at the moment?

His father smirked in response, probably understanding why his son was laughing. He stood up and asked “Would you like to take a closer look at the car?”

“Sure,” Joseph answered, shrugging. Normally, he would be excited by the prospect but he wasn’t in the mood to tap into his happy emotions at the moment.

Standing up from his seat was an interesting minute. He had been still for so long that almost everything was frozen. Joseph stretched, which helped a little, and, keeping the blanket wrapped tightly around his shoulders and Mr. Cat close to his chest, walked down the stairs following his father to the garage.

 _Man, it’s definitely something. Really, really cool for sure,_ he thought while sliding his hand along the car. It was beautiful. And red. And just down right gorgeous. Joseph wondered if his father would ever let him have one of his cars. Or maybe just let him drive them when he was older. _God, that’d be amazing. Dream come true for sure! Dream…huh…_

He’d think on it later.

“Oh! That reminds me…” his father suddenly said as he leaned into the car. “I got you something.”

“Really?” Joseph asked in surprise. His father got him things, sure, but it was still a shock.

“Yes, really. Don’t sound so goddamn shocked,” he said while handing a bag to Joseph.

The bag was just a plain brown paper bag. No hints there. It also had tissue paper covering whatever it was. No peeking there. Joseph put the bag on the floor because he was still clutching Mr. Cat and stuck his hand in. Feeling something really soft – _fur? –_ Joseph pulled the surprise out of the bag.

It was a stuffed cat.

“I thought Lord Hideous might need help getting a girl, so I did the honors for him. Lord knows he needs as much as help as possible,” his father said while scrunching his nose in disgust while looking at Mr. Cat. “Jesus, he’s so ugly,” he murmured under his breath.

The cat was beautiful. She had long, soft, calico fur and pretty blue eyes. He loved her. Hugging her close to his chest with Mr. Cat, Joseph said quietly “Thank you, tatko. I love her and I think Mr. Cat will too.”

A smile graced his father’s face. “Just don’t name her Ms. Cat.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Прадядо (prádyado) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife


	9. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)

Joseph didn’t know how long his father’s kindness was going to last or why he was being nice in the first place, but he had the full intention of enjoying it while it lasted.

Sunday was church so Joseph was able to keep his mind occupied and also didn’t have to sit in the empty house alone. After church was the usual lunch out with his family – minus his mother, aunt, and grandfather. He had seen his grandfather at church but he had said that he was too busy to have lunch with them today.

Joseph thought he just didn’t want to sit with his father.

Monday and the rest of the week was even easier being he had school to distract him. But then it was Saturday again; a week since his mother had left him crying on the floor of her bedroom.

He didn’t want to get out of bed. Thinking he should just spend the day wallowing in his bed and finding it to be a good idea, Joseph’s thoughts were interrupted when there was a knock at his door and his father walked in.

“Good morning, Joseph. I have an idea and I thought to run it by you,” he said as he sat on the bed next to him. “How about we have breakfast out this morning? And then spend our day at the park?”

“Isn’t it kind of cold for the park, tatko? But breakfast out sounds great,” he mumbled from under his blankets. “Wait, what about your work?” he asked curiously, poking out his eyes and nose.

His father shrugged like that wasn’t even important. “I haven’t anything to do today. And as for the weather, we can just wrap ourselves up, no problem. We can just enjoy the outdoors. Bring some books maybe.”

Popping the rest of his head out from under his covers, Joseph stared at his father and his odd behavior. But…maybe it wasn’t odd. Maybe Joseph just wasn’t accustomed and now he was getting the chance to enjoy the side of his father that his mother had to see. The part she had to love. _Probably aren’t going to get another chance like this…_ “Sounds good, I guess.”

“Good,” his father said with a smile. “Then up you go. Take a fast shower, get dressed, and then we’ll go. I’ll meet you downstairs in a half hour.” With that, he stood and went to get himself ready.

Sliding out of bed, Joseph placed Mr. Cat next to his new girl on the dresser. Joseph still hadn’t named her anything because nothing good had come to his brain yet. She had to have a good name; better than plain old Ms. Cat. Grabbing some clothes from his closet and dresser, he walked to the bathroom to get himself ready for what might end up being an enjoyable day. The cat’s name would come to him eventually.

They drove to the Hudson River Park after having breakfast at a diner. They both ordered the same thing – pancakes, eggs, bacon, and toast. Juice for Joseph and coffee for his father. They didn’t want to go and break tradition. But breakfast had gotten him thinking about his mother. She hadn’t called that he knew of. Did she ask after him? He hoped she did. Joseph was always wondering about her.

He missed her. It was as simple as that. The house was odd without her being empty of her presence and Joseph hated that. When he came home from school, there was no one there to greet him. No one to wake up to in the morning those days either. His father would simply wake him to get him moving, already dressed and ready, and then head off to work.

It was so lonely. Even with his father around more than he used to be.

Joseph wanted to hear her voice. Smell her scent. Feel her presence.

He just wanted her back.

The tears started to flow with all the lonely thoughts. He was able to hide them for a little until he hiccupped on his stupid boogers and tears. His father’s head turned swiftly towards him, catching the noise. “What the hell are you crying for?” he asked in a slightly annoyed voice.

Joseph’s breathing stopped in its tracks. His father’s tone hadn’t been anything but kind and concerned this past week and he wasn’t ready to face his wrathful side yet.

“Dammit, Joseph,” his father continued. “She’s coming back. For fuck’s sake, stop crying. She’ll be back at the end of the week.”

The shock of his words struck Joseph into silence. “This week?” he whispered eventually, hope evident in his question. She was coming back. He couldn’t believe it. Yes, she had said it’ll be for a little while but this week had felt like the longest of his life. And he still had to go through another.

But she was coming back.

“Yes, this week. When you come home from school on Friday, she’ll be home. Now stop crying.” he said, throwing a tissue at him. But the annoyance was gone which was always a good thing.

Wiping his nose and tears, he couldn’t feel happier and Friday couldn’t come any faster either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because I lack any sort of creativeness when it comes to naming things, Mr. Cat's girl has no name at the moment. Which is sad when you consider the fact that I'm writing chpt 17 right now. I mean, I have one but it's quite stupid like Mr. Cat. So if y'all want to shout some names at me, that'd be wonderful. If not, poor lady cat will have to suffer through Joseph's (ok, my) uncreativeness. 
> 
> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Прадядо (prádyado) – great-grandfather


	10. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)

Come Friday, Joseph found himself sitting and eating his lunch in the cafeteria. He was excited for the day’s end. This morning, he had made sure to ask his father again to confirm that his mother would be home today. And he swore she would.

His father’s word was always good.

Joseph glanced up when he heard footsteps coming towards him. _C’mon…_

It was, of course, Tanner. Alone this time but still. Joseph didn’t feel like putting up with him today. _Just ignore him, maybe he’ll go away._

He forgot sometimes what type of world he lived in.

Yanking Joseph off of the bench and pulling him face-to-face with him, Tanner said with a voice full of superiority “Aw, hey Joey! How are ya?”

Joseph just glared at him. He was more annoyed than anything else; he was getting tired of having to put up with Tanner. They had been told by the principal to stay away from each other, which Joseph was more than happy to oblige with. Tanner not so much apparently.

“Just leave me alone, jerk,” he snapped, his voice laced with the annoyance he was feeling. He was too tired to listen in to his survival skills telling him to just shut up.

“What’d you call me?” Tanner snarled, his lip curling in his anger. It was rare for someone to defy him, especially Joseph. “What’d you just call me, you stupid loner?”

“You’re just a big fat bullying jerk.” And with that, he punched Tanner as hard as he could manage in the nose.

And, oh, that was satisfying.

Well, the emotional satisfaction was satisfying. Seeing Tanner’s shocked face while holding his bleeding nose was also satisfying. What wasn’t was the pain in his soon to be bruised knuckles or the punch he got in the face a minute later.

 _That_ was extremely painful.

He felt his eye and the area around it burning and throbbing. _That’s gonna end up ugly…_ But he punched someone. Joseph hoped his father would be proud. He had said that he would be if Joseph ever managed to punch someone. The kids around them were definitely happy; some of them having suffered their own bullying before by the hands of Tanner and whoever he dragged with him that day.

But before Joseph could try for another hit, they were yanked apart by the teacher on duty during lunch. “Why are you two fighting? What is this? Oh dear, look at your faces! Good grief!”

Joseph didn’t know who the teacher was but she was instantly annoying in his mind. He didn’t like her; her voice squeaked extremely loud when she spoke. Dragging them to the principal’s office definitely didn’t earn her any points as she dumped them into the chairs in the office in front of Principal Rogers’ door. “Now neither of you move, understand? I’m going to get the nurse and get into contact with your parents.”

Joseph wasn’t worried much. Nothing new. His mother always came when he got in trouble. She would smile and apologize, get Joseph to apologize, then accept his punishments as reasonable. Then he remembered it would be his father coming today, not his mother. _I hope he takes it well… He’s probably working and won’t be happy about being called._

_Oh boy…_

They waited patiently for their parents to arrive after seeing the nurse. Tanner’s parents showed first – as usual – and made shocked noises when they saw their son’s face. They weren’t used to him having the bruises. _No less than he deserves. Actually, he probably deserves worse._ Then their teachers showed, who also made shocked noises upon seeing both boys’ faces. They all walked into Principal Rogers’ office where they sat and waited for Joseph’s father to show. He didn’t keep them waiting long though as he knocked on the door and came in. This was the first time any of the school staff had met his father before. Usually his mother handled all the school stuff.

He walked in with a smile, sticking his hand out to shake hands with everyone. “Ivo Kavinsky,” he said, “Joseph’s father.” Ms. Lyn couldn’t take her eyes off him along with Mr. Valencia, Tanner’s teacher. He was making the same doe-eyes as Ms. Lyn.

Joseph knew his father was handsome. Heck, _his father_ knew he was handsome. Another one of those things he was proud of. He was tall – 6’ 3” if Joseph remembered correctly from the time he had asked – and lean. But he was muscled, something else his father loved so much about himself. If Joseph was speaking truthfully, he knew his father loved every single aspect of himself. He was – as his mother has said – a major fucking narcissist. To which Ivo would always smile and agree. Once Joseph had looked up the word, he couldn’t help but agree as well.

His own black hair and brown eyes came from his father. Although Joseph was pretty sure his eyes didn’t _look_ like his father’s – his didn’t have that spark of condescension or danger. He wasn’t even sure if everyone knew how to read the sparks like he did. Besides for the square jaw that he didn’t have, Joseph thought he’d look just like his father when he was older.

That was the hope, at least. Joseph wanted to look that good too.

His father sat down in the chair beside him, unbuttoning his suit jacket as he did. Grabbing Joseph’s chin in his hand, he turned his face and moved the hand holding the ice pack to take a look at his swollen eye properly. He took a quick glance at Tanner’s face, his own face still expressionless. Looking back to Joseph, he asked in Bulgarian “You threw a punch?”

Shrugging, Joseph replied “I told him to leave me alone. He wouldn’t, so I hit him.”

“You hit first?” his father responded with a voice tinged with surprise. Joseph just shrugged again because that was the best answer he had at the moment. “A damn good hit, Joseph. Well done.” There was pride in the way his father spoke and Joseph absolutely loved it.

Score for him.

Finally letting go of Joseph’s face after finishing his ‘examination’ and turning towards Principal Rogers, his father questioned “So what seems to be the problem?”

“What seems to be the problem? Are you kidding me? Look at my son’s face!” Papa Tanner cut in angrily. “He’s lucky his nose didn’t get broken! My son has the right to be on school grounds and not be abused by other children!”

Joseph couldn’t help but laugh at the irony of the outcry which earned him a nasty look from both Tanner’s parents and Principal Rogers. Apparently, it didn’t matter that Joseph wasn’t able to go to school without being abused by other children.

“I suppose you don’t realize how much of a hypocrite you are, Mr. Peterson?” his father said in his creepy calm voice. Joseph didn’t even know how the man knew the other man’s last name when this was the first time they had met. “You realize that my son has been bullied by yours for the past year and a half? And there hasn’t been any real effort by the school to halt the bullying.” The last part his father said to both teachers and Principal Rogers, looking at each one in turn. The teachers almost looked embarrassed to be the subject of his disappoint.

If having his father have his back was a reward for punching Tanner, he might have to do it more often.

“A hypocrite? My son is the victim right now, Mr. Kavinsky, not yours. Joseph threw the first punch for no reason at all.”

“That’s not true!” Joseph interrupted. Usually, he sat quietly and let his mother do all the talking but he didn’t appreciate the lie. He’s never bothered Tanner once. The last thing he was going to do was take the blame for this mess. “I was sitting eating lunch when he grabbed me off the bench. I didn’t start anything.”

“But you hit him first, didn’t you?” Principal Rogers said, his hands folded upon his desk.

“Well, yeah, I guess I did. But it was after I told him to let me go and he didn’t. He’s always picking on me.” He added one last thought, finishing quietly “I’m tired of it. It’s not fair.”

Everyone in the room stared at him; they heard the sadness and defeat. It was an uncomfortable feeling having them all looking, especially when he felt like he might burst into tears any second now. The weight of the past two weeks suddenly came upon him all at once and it was really heavy.

He really was tired.

Joseph bit his lip, hoping to stop the coming tears. It never worked before, so he shouldn’t have expected it to magically work today. But he had no intentions of crying in front of everyone. Especially with his father present.

“Excuse me,” he whispered, getting up and walking out to the restroom. He felt the heavy stares at his back as he left the office.

According to his watch, he had taken ten minutes. Not bad considering how many tears he was able to get out. He was lucky that no one needed the restroom at the time. Walking back into the office, he noticed his father sitting on one of the chairs outside the principal's office. _Are they done talking?_

“Finished?” his father asked. Joseph couldn’t tell how he meant it. Concerned or mocking? Either one was possible. Joseph just nodded; he wasn’t really up to talking right now. “Good. Let’s go.”

He stared at his father curiously, “Go? Are we done?”

“Yes. All done and taken care of. A week volunteering in the library and you’re all good.” He replied as he stood from his seat.

“Tatko, that’s not even a punishment,” Joseph said in awe. “Not that I’m complaining,” he added hastily.

“No, I didn’t think you would. But if you would like a proper punishment…” his father trailed, leaving the sentence unfinished.

“No, no! I’m good, thanks!” Joseph said hurriedly.

Slight amusement creeped into his father’s voice, “Mmm, yes, I figured as much. Right then, let’s go grab the rest of your work from class and get on our way. Looks like we’re going to beat mayko home.”

 

 

Joseph willed his clock to change already. Since he had gotten home, he had been staring at it, begging the time to change. He knew it would go faster if he did something but he couldn’t focus on anything knowing that he’d get to see his mother today. To have her home.

So he sat staring.

His mother was supposed to be home any minute now. He wanted to wait downstairs with his father but he had told him no. _Probably wants to talk to her… Can’t he do that after I see her? I’m not the one who drove her away in the first place._

Of course, he would never dream of voicing these thoughts.

The bell rang.

Joseph’s heart stopped. _She’s here!_ Jumping off his bed, he ran to the top of the stairs and counted to thirty. That was all the time he was willing to give his father. Practically tripping down the stairs, he ran to the door, colliding with his mother, and wrapping his arms around her. Face pressed into, he exclaimed in a muffled voice “Mayko! You’re back!”

Crouching to be eye level with him, his mother took his face in her hands and kissed his forehead. “I’m back,” she said with a smile. He could almost forgive that she had left him because of that smile.

But he would never forget.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Прадядо (prádyado) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife


	11. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> Tags have been updated so make sure you take a look. I kinda feel like it spoiled the chapter though.  
> Also I think I make poor Joseph suffer a bit much, I cant help it. It's more fun writing that way. In case you didn't know already, I'm a terrible person.

Coming back out of the house with a carrot in hand, Joseph walked over to his snowman. He was short and not really that great looking being that he was kind of lopsided but he had been fun to make. Jamming the carrot where the snowman’s nose should be, Joseph realized that he still needed something for the smile.

Looking around, he noticed that there were no rocks to be found unless he felt like digging through snow. Something he very much didn’t want to do despite his warm gloves. _Hmm…I could get the ones in the backyard but those are supposed to be ‘decorative rocks.’ Mayko wouldn’t be happy if I used them. Maybe I can use them and then return them? No, she wouldn’t let me do that either..._ He bit his lip, deep in thought on his possibilities.

He couldn’t have an expressionless snowman. It just wouldn’t be right.

Walking back into the house, he went upstairs to his mother who was fixing her hair in her bathroom. “Mayko? I’m gonna walk down the street a bit. I need to find some rocks for my snowman’s smile. Is that okay?”

She looked at him through the mirror, hands trying their best to make her hair stay put. It generally didn’t like to because it was so silky smooth and that drove her insane. “That’s fine. But I’m counting time. Come back to me in fifteen minutes, okay?”

“Okay! Thanks!” he called in happiness as he ran off.

It apparently wasn’t rock season because come ten minutes later, Joseph had only found three so far. That definitely wasn’t enough for a proper smile. Glancing up and down the street and then at his watch, he figured he could keep looking for a couple more minutes, then run back home. He could run fast enough when he needed to.

Surprisingly, he noticed, there weren’t a lot of people out. It was a Friday afternoon and a nice snow day in February, yet Joseph couldn’t see anyone. It made him a little uncomfortable. The street was never empty like this. Usually there’d be at least one other person around.

Deciding his snowman could do with just a half-smile, Joseph began to walk back when he slammed into someone. The person definitely wasn’t there a second ago. Looking up into the face of a man, he said “Oops, sorry sir. I didn’t notice you there.”

The man merely smiled at him. _Not at all creepy…I should probably get going. And quick._

Backing up a bit and breaking off into a run, Joseph tried to get back home but the snow was slowing him down. The man ran after him and when he was within arms-length, he leaped, dragging Joseph down, slamming him into the hard snow.

Pain seared through him. Not just from slamming into the snow but something else; he had felt a snap. His arm felt odd. Really odd. Probably from landing on it. Probably broken. It burned like fire and the rest of his body followed suit soon after. He was in too much pain to try fighting back but he did start yelling. Not that it did him any good. His efforts were rewarded with a nasty hand on his mouth and his head smashed to the floor.

And then darkness.

Opening his eyes slowly because opening them any faster would result in even more nausea than he was already feeling, Joseph tried to take in where he was. The first thing he noticed was that wherever he was, it was extremely small.

And dark.

Joseph asked his bracelet for light as he tried to sit up. Except no light came. _Weird…is it broken or…_ Panic hit him fast. His bracelet was gone. He checked both his wrists and felt around on the floor with his good arm but nothing.

It was gone.

He was going to have to face the darkness alone.

Breathing deeply, he tried to calm himself before he had a panic attack. The pain was waking as he did and everything hurt. His head and arm throbbed which he was too afraid to even look at – it probably looked really bad. Knowing would just make things worse. Not that he could see anything in the pitch black darkness anyways.

He wasn’t stupid. Joseph had read enough stories and seen enough news, to know that he had just been kidnapped. He just hoped it was a story with a happy ending. One with someone coming to his rescue before horrible things happened to him. With the thought of horrible things, his breathing quickened in panic. The hyperventilating was making his head throb viciously and his stomach was turning nastily. He had to stop thinking or else he really was going to have a serious panic attack.

 _Just stop. Stop and breathe slowly…_ Gradually calming himself down, he tried to think about less gruesome aspects of his situation. Like the why.

_Why kidnap me? I’m nothing special…_

Except he was Ivo Kavinsky’s son. His _only_ son. Not to mention the fact he was Timotei Dobrev’s grandchild. And he was an even bigger fish than Joseph’s father.

Over winter vacation via eavesdropping and putting all the pieces together, Joseph had discovered what business his father and grandfather were in. And the easiest way he was able to sum it up was to call them gangsters. His grandfather was the head of the Bulgarian mob and his territory encompassed a large part of Jersey, with his power extending to New York. His father was heir to the throne being that Joseph’s grandfather had only two daughters. He also liked and trusted his father more than his eldest daughter's husband, Joseph’s tetíncho Yulian. The mob apparently used insurance companies and such as covers for their actual business. Joseph wasn’t sure exactly how it worked but it must because his family wasn’t in prison yet.

But they, of course, had enemies. Which was probably what the man who had kidnapped him was. Based on these musings, Joseph figured he’d be ransomed. He was more hoping he’d be ransomed instead of being a message. From what he’s read, being a message was an extremely painful process.

Carefully curling into a sitting ball, Joseph tried his best not to think of anything. He also shut his eyes which was better than staring into the pitch black emptiness of the room. Actually, it was probably a closet. Far too small to be a proper room.

 _Sleeping. That’d be a good idea. No thinking and it’ll pass the time. No dreaming either; that’d probably be a really bad idea._ With that, he laid down the best he could manage and tried to fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Прадядо (prádyado) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife


	12. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)

She finished her hair surprisingly quick. Well, quicker than usual. Usually it took a little long to get her hair to stay in a fancy up-do. Somehow, it would always manage to find some way to slip out no matter what she did to make it hold. Flipping open her phone to check the time, she noticed Joseph's fifteen minutes were up. They were actually up a few minutes ago.

But he wasn’t back yet.

That was odd. He was always very good at keeping with the times she gave him. Joseph was never late. If he ever wanted more time, he would usually just come back and ask. But for him to go over? It wasn’t normal.

Trying her best not to worry, she grabbed her phone and headed downstairs. Opening the front door, she called out for him "Joseph?"

Nothing.

Glancing up and down the street, she realized she didn’t see or hear him. Panic began to stir in her heart. Sure, she never wanted him in the first place but he was still her baby; she loved him. Yanking her coat off the rack and pulling it on, she stepped out onto the steps, closing the door behind her. The sound of an engine came to her ears and when she turned to look, she saw Ivo coming down the street. A small amount of hope clutched her heart. _Please, let him have found Joseph on the street. Please, god, let Joseph be in the car._

Ivo parked on the street which meant he was coming to pick up something. She noticed her father in the passenger but there was no sign of Joseph. _God, where is he?_

"Vesela? I thought you’re leaving later for the party?" Ivo asked as he walked over, his voice both annoyed and curious. She was pretty sure the annoyance wasn’t for her but there was never telling when it came to her husband.

Clutching his arms tightly in her panic, she asked worriedly "Have you seen Joseph? Did you see him maybe as you came down the street?"

He stared at her critically, trying to understand the situation. "No, I didn’t. Should I have?"

"Tate?" she called, dashing to him in the car and leaning in the window. "Did you see Joseph as you drove up?"

"No. Is something wrong, Vesela?" She heard the worry creeping into her father's voice despite how well he was trying to hide it, probably for her sake.

"He asked if he could go looking for some rocks for his snowman and I told him yes but he was supposed to be back five minutes ago. He's never late. Ever. You both know how he is. If you guys haven't seen him, then where is he?" She tried her best not to let hysteria creep in. It wouldn’t help.

"Where was he going to look?" Ivo asked. He wasn’t worried but he was slightly concerned which was more than she was expecting from him. But he knew his son's habits as well as she did. He would never just go somewhere without permission. He would never be late.

"He said he was just going to go up the street. That’s it. Nothing more."

"He probably just lost track of time," her father tried helpfully. "Ivo and I will walk up the street and find him. Don’t worry."

Despite her father’s words, Vesela could find no comfort. She knew something was wrong.

Something was _very_ _wrong._

  

* * *

 

Ivo was more annoyed than anything else at the moment. He had a busy schedule as it was and now he had to look for his brat. Oh, wasn’t this day going wonderful. It wasn’t enough that he had looked like an idiot in front of the Italians during their meeting. Or that he had to get lectured by Timotei about said idiocy. Now his pathetic son was in a mood to cause issues.

Just wonderful.

He began walking down the street, taking a look around as he went. Timotei followed behind him after leading Vesela inside while promising that they would find Joseph.

Of course they would. The stupid brat probably just didn’t pay attention to the time.

He tried his best to ignore the slight ill feeling in his stomach. True, it wasn’t like Joseph to lose track of time or be late but what could have possibly happened? He always played outside on the street because their neighborhood was a good one. It wasn’t anything new. _Maybe Mrs. Ivanova invited him in for cocoa? But he would’ve called or came back and told Vesela first… Maybe he just forgot?_

But it wasn’t like him to be forgetful either and even if he did, Mrs. Ivanova would’ve reminded him. He realized the scenario wasn’t possible anyways a second later as the old lady wasn’t even in the country at the moment.

 _Ok…Let me think…_ He ran down the list of his neighbors as he continued walking on. But beside for the old Russian lady, Joseph wouldn’t really stop in to anyone else. Reaching the end of the street and looking every which way, Ivo officially admitted that he was worried. Something wasn’t quite right. _What if he was taken? Jesus, I hope not…_

His profession was a dangerous one; he loved it now but it was definitely dangerous. But he had never feared for his family. It was like a sacred rule – you don’t go after families. Especially not children. What were the chances that some rival took him? Not high, he thought. Everyone he knew and had done business with were high class who followed the rules, not some random trash off the street. He’d never stoop so low into working or dealing with shit.

Turning back towards the house, he continued his musings. He stopped abruptly when he nearly tripped over his father-in-law who was crouching down looking at something. “Christ, tust, why are you just crouching on the floor? I almost tripped on you. That would just make this day even more wonderful, wouldn’t it?” he finished sourly.

Surprisingly, Ivo wasn’t chastised for taking the Lord’s name in vain like he would’ve usually been. Timotei was a stickler about that being a religious man and all that. Looking down himself, he noticed what his father-in-law was holding.

Now he was feeling the panic he had heard in Vesela’s voice. Ivo wasn’t going to reach the hysteria that he knew she probably would but the panic had definitely arrived. And it took something serious to get him to that point.

This was serious.

It was Joseph’s bracelet. Ivo couldn’t think of a time he had ever seen him not wearing it, not since Timotei gave it to him on his birthday. Joseph would never just leave it on the street. Not in a million years. Grabbing it from his father-in-law’s hand, he looked at it closer. The leaves looked smashed and the chain had broken. There were only a couple scenarios where this would make any sense and Ivo knew which one he was dealing with.

Someone had taken Joseph. And if the bracelet was smashed and broken, then that bastard had to have slammed Joseph into the floor. Which meant he had tried getting away, maybe even fought back. _Good for you, brat._

But what now? If it was someone he had been in business with, he’d just have to wait for a call. They would want to hustle as much as money as they could manage from him. But if it was just some pervert who liked little boys, waiting was the worst thing he could possibly do. _Christ above, what do I do?_

He didn’t know. And that bothered him. He was a man who always had a plan; someone who was always ten steps ahead of everyone else. And now his child had been kidnapped and he had no idea what to do. His mind wouldn’t cooperate; Ivo couldn’t think.

 _I’m going to give Vesela a heart attack when I tell her. Maybe I should let Timotei handle it. Probably get her sister to stay here for a little while…_ _Should I call the pigs? But what can they find out that I haven’t already figured? There’s nothing in sight. No evidence that could possibly help…_

“Ivo?” Timotei said, having stood up and was now staring at him with concern.

Realizing he had spent ten minutes staring at the bracelet lost in his thoughts, he glanced over at Timotei. He could tell from the look on his face that he had come to the same conclusions as Ivo. But he had to say the words out loud anyways. It made it reality even more.

“Someone took him,” he whispered. “Someone took my child.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Прадядо (prádyado) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife


	13. Chapter 12

A loud bang woke Joseph. It actually did more than that. The noise had given him a heart attack, made him jump up which made him dizzy and his head throb even more, and awakened the fiery pain in his arm. Nausea took over; his stomach was churning badly and the dizziness didn’t help. Whatever he had in his stomach came up with a fiery force. It burned his throat as he choked and coughed trying to get all the puke out his system. The closet took on the very terrible stench of fresh vomit.

While slowly scooting away from the gross pile beside him even though there wasn’t much space to do so, the door opened. _Must have been the lock that woke me._ Light assaulted his eyes making them water and burn. With the light came a man walking in. Joseph was pretty sure it wasn’t the man who had grabbed him – probably his partner or something. He was holding a cup of water and what looked like an apple. Wearing an ugly smile and nose wrinkling from the smell, he walked over to Joseph and knelt in front of him.

“Hello there, little man. Hungry? Thirsty?” he asked, holding out his offerings.

Joseph was terrified but he was definitely thirsty; he felt like he hadn’t had water in years. Glancing warily at the ugly man, he reached out for the cup with his good arm. He wished it was his right that had broken instead. At least then it wouldn’t have been his dominant one. Joseph gulped down the water while wishing he could have another and went for the apple. His body reminded him he was hungry almost as much as he was thirsty.

He thought about the man’s accent. It sounded similar to that of his father’s and grandfather’s – Bulgarian then. Joseph always thought it was interesting that their accents were still pretty heavy even though they had been in America for so long. His mother had been born here, she only had an accent on a couple words. Like his cousins, Joseph had a Jersey accent.

So if the man was from Bulgaria, that meant this was business. Not just some creepy guy who wanted him. But Joseph wasn’t too sure if that was a good thing or not. Was he going be ransomed or a message? Either way would be painful, but at least if he was ransomed they couldn’t hurt him too much and he’d still get to live.

The man continued to stare at him. “You look quite a bit like your father… Anyone ever tell you that?”

Joseph just stared back because the last thing he was in the mood for was small talk. But it turned out that this man was a bit like his father. He liked answers when he asked for them.

Choking on the piece of apple he was chewing as he was back-handed across his face, Joseph thought he better answer before he got hit again.

“Has anyone ever told you that?” the man asked again, his voice harder than before.

“Yes!” he answered quickly, his entire face pounding as he spoke.

The man smiled as he said brightly “See there’s your voice. Now, Joseph, is it?” Joseph nodded quickly before any sort of repercussions could happen. “Let me explain a little to you, so you’re not completely confused. See? I’m a nice guy, aren’t I?” Another hurried nod. “I work for your daddy – your grandfather too but this isn’t really about him – and two weeks ago, he killed my brother. A traitor he said. Sold secrets he claimed. Deserved to die he laughed. Did you know your daddy kills people?”

After learning what his father’s business was, Joseph had figured as much. It wasn’t like he hadn’t seen the guns before, even though his father generally hid them. And if he were being truthful, Joseph wasn’t surprised that his father killed people. With a cold and dangerous temper, his father could be a violent man. It’d be weird if he _didn’t_ kill people being that he was the heir to the Bulgarian mob. For this question, Joseph felt like a nod was appropriate enough.

Upon accepting Joseph’s nod, the man continued “So I decided that since your father took something important to me, I was going to take something of his. I was going to take your momma but then I saw you and realized you’re even better. Brilliant, aren’t I? Take away Ivo Kavinsky’s son and heir. It’ll hit him quite hard, I think.”

Joseph couldn’t bring himself to answer. _Take something of his… He’s going to kill me! Oh, god, please no…_ He began breathing heavily as his stomach started churning again. Joseph wasn’t ready to die yet and he was sure that the ugly man wasn’t just going to kill him.

It was going to be painfully dragged out.

The man started to laugh, “Don’t worry so much, boy! I’m going to try and get a large sum for you first. I was just going to chop off pieces and send them to your daddy one by one. But we’ll see just how important you are to him first. If he doesn’t accept my initial offer, then I’ll chop you up.” He stopped and gave Joseph a smile full of teeth, “While you’re still alive.”

He felt his eyes become as huge as saucers. The heavy breathing turned to labored hyperventilating and Joseph could feel the apple coming back up. Making sure to turn away so he didn’t throw up on the ugly man, he let it out back into the world. This time burned more than the last because his stomach was practically empty. Not to mention that his head was throbbing horribly.

Being ‘helpful,’ the man patted Joseph’s back. “There, there, little man. If your daddy loves you then you don’t have a single thing to worry about, do you? Here take this,” he said, handing Joseph a phone, “Dial your daddy for me.”

Taking the phone from the man, he clumsily dialed his father and handed it back. He wanted water but he was far too afraid to ask. His mouth had a nasty flavor in it and his throat burned worse than fire. Not to mention that the smell became twice as worse.

“I’ll be back in a bit, Joseph,” Ugly man said as he stood, winking and walking out the door. He slammed the door and banged the lock shut, leaving Joseph alone in the darkness.

  

* * *

 

Ivo was sitting on a couch feeling entirely useless. He had ultimately decided that waiting was his best course of action. Vesela had been crying for the past two hours since they had come back with their discovery and Ivo was trying his best not to have them get to him. She clutched Joseph’s bracelet and Mr. Cat as hard as she could, pressing her face into the plush’s fur. Having no idea what to do for her beyond the hugs, kisses, and promises he had given, Ivo just sat and looked out at their backyard. Looking at her crying made him feel horrible. Nikol sat beside her, trying her best to comfort her younger sister. Timotei had called her as they had walked back to the house and now sat on the opposite couch, lost in his own thoughts, as he sat clutching the cross around his neck.

His father-in-law was far more religious than Ivo was. Ivo’s own father had also been quite religious; his mother too. There were a lot of times he wondered why he himself hadn’t turned out that way. He was a practicing Orthodox Christian but he wasn’t like them. Vesela also wasn’t like her father; she picked and chose what she wanted and what was convenient for the moment. He wondered how Joseph would turn out to be.

That was if he was even still alive.

There were days he hated just the sight of Joseph. Sometimes the mere thought of his pathetic son bothered him. Ivo had never really wanted children, definitely hadn’t been ready, although his mother had wanted grandchildren from her remaining child. It was a shame she had died a few months after Joseph had been born. He hadn’t seen her so happy in such a long time.

If Ivo was honest with himself, he still didn’t really want kids. But Joseph was his child, _his son_ for Christ’s sake _._ No one was allowed to take Joseph away from him. And Ivo sure as fuck wouldn’t wish torture or abuse upon his child. He knew that he himself was a bastard but he didn’t really consider himself cruel. Especially not against his family.

He loved them, he admitted to himself. Yes, they were a major pain in the ass but they were his and he actually did give a shit. There were days where he actually enjoyed spending small amounts of time with Joseph. His son was brilliant for his age, clever too. He just wished he would stop crying so much. Maybe then Ivo would like him a bit better.

_God, please let him be okay._

Ivo literally jumped when his phone rang. It had interrupted his prayers and he hadn’t been expecting it. Flipping it open, he noticed it was a number that he didn’t recognize. His blood went cold. What if it was the ransom call? There was a high chance that it was. Answering quickly, Ivo put the phone to his ear as everyone around him went quiet. “Hello?”

“Hello, Ivo! How are you today?” the voice cheerily said. It bothered him that the voice sounded a little familiar, although he couldn’t think of who it was. Bulgarian that much was clear.

“Fine,” he said curtly. “And who is it I’m speaking with?”

The voice laughed. That annoyed the shit out of him. Whether or not this man was the kidnapper, he planned on breaking his face. That laugh pissed him off. “Of course you wouldn’t remember the sound of my voice, would you? I mean, we haven’t really talked much before. Let me ask you, are you missing someone?”

Hatred filled him in seconds causing his blood to boil. So this was the bastard who took Joseph. But a Bulgarian? He had been expecting a rival, not one of his own which made him even angrier at this discovery. Ivo was already planning the things he wanted to do to the filth. “Let me ask you, do you have someone of mine? Because if you do, you’ve just made the worst mistake of your very short life, you miserable piece of shit.”

Three heads stared at him with wide eyes as they realized what the phone call was about. Vesela was suddenly very pale and Ivo could tell she wanted to tell him not to fuck this up. He had no intentions to and was also slightly offended that she would even think that he would.

“Ah! So you’ve noticed your little boy has gone missing! Very good! Then let us get straight to business. See, I had this very nice plan on what I was going to do to him but then I thought that you would pay a nice lump to have him back. And let’s be honest here, money is always nice.”

Relief flooded through him. Joseph was still alive then. Now he just had to find him and get him back. “How much do you want exactly?”

“Straight to the point! Aren’t you a little curious why I have your boy in the first place? Don’t you want to know why you deserve this?” the voice asked happily.

“You fucking bastard, if you have a problem with me, you take it up with me! You don’t go after my child!” He knew he should control his temper because it only ever made things worse but he was beyond pissed at the mocking voice. There would be no reigning it in. “Just tell me how much you want and where to meet. You get your money and I get my son.”

“You realize you are no fun? I get only minor satisfaction from this if I don’t tell you why I took him in the first place. So we’re going to have story time and I’m going to educate you. I took your brat because you killed my brother. My younger brother who you said was a traitor. Ring a bell, Lord Kavinsky?”

It rang a bell. He had executed Ivan Chilikov a few weeks ago; bullet between his eyes after losing a couple fingers. Turns out he was selling secrets to the feds. The bastard was an informant and had cost Ivo a lot of money. He got what he had deserved. But if this was his older brother, that meant he was either talking to Anton or Daniel. Which meant that Joseph had been kidnapped by one of Ivo’s own employed men. Someone he actually trusted. But then, he had trusted Ivan and look how that went.

“So am I talking with Anton or Daniel?”

“You do remember! Very good. Does it bother you that someone that works for you betrayed you? Although I would simply call it getting even.”

“Worked not works. And there is no even here. Your shit brother was a rat and the only thing I regret is not making him suffer more than he did. And I should’ve made you watch. Now, how much do you want?” He was getting tired of repeating himself and knew he was going to blow any second now. There was no way he could repress his anger any longer.

He could hear the smile in, Anton’s he decided – he was cheerier than Daniel – voice. “Three million. Three million dollars and you can have your boy. We’ll do the drop-off tomorrow. I’ll call you with the location and time in the morning. Deal?”

“No deal yet, fuckwad. I want the drop-off today and I want to talk to Joseph first. I need to know he’s okay.”

“You can talk to him but the drop-off will remain tomorrow. Try changing something again and I’ll change my mind, Ivo. I’ll torture him while you listen to his screams on the phone.”

Listening to the sound of a lock and then a heavy door being opened in the background, Ivo figured he was taking the phone to Joseph. “Your daddy wants to talk to you, little man.”

“Joseph?” he asked with all the concern he hadn’t felt in years. He heard Vesela take in a breath, probably wanting to hear him for herself.

“Tatko?” Joseph whispered.

Ivo had never felt such relief before. “Are you okay? Are you hurt?” Vesela started to cry tears of joy, thankfully she was quiet.

Imagining that Joseph was biting his lip, his son replied in a wobbling voice “Everything hurts. A lot.”

He was actually surprised Joseph wasn’t crying. Equal amounts of proud too. “Don’t worry about it and try not to think about it. We’re going to see each other tomorrow, alright? I’m going to come and get you. Both dyádo and I. “

“Not today?” Joseph asked in a panicked voice.

“I tried for today, he won’t let me. So tomorrow. Just hold on until then, okay?”

“Promise, tatko?”

“Promise. And you know I always keep my promises.” he said with a voice full of conviction.

“Yes, you are good at that aren’t you, Ivo?” Anton said. He must’ve grabbed the phone away. “We’ll talk tomorrow then. Keep your phone open.”

And with that, he hung up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Прадядо (prádyado) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife


	14. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys still have a chance to throw in a name for the lady cat, if you want. She comes up in the next chapter.  
> Thanks for reading and continue to enjoy!

He didn’t know what time of day it was or if it was Saturday yet or still Friday. All Joseph knew was that he was in a large amount of pain and had been extremely serious when he had told his father everything hurt. Joseph’s arm had gone from fire to numb and he was pretty sure that was a bad thing because the skin was hot to touch.

Joseph had been on the verge of another panic attack when he had heard the door open and the ugly man had come back. He appreciated the light and even the general concept of company but not the actual person providing it. But company and light meant that he didn’t have to suffer the darkness alone.

It had been a relief to hear his father on the other end of the line. Joseph couldn’t help but laugh at that. Any other time, he would have dreaded or even feared hearing his father’s deep voice. But at that moment, it had been the most beautiful thing he had ever heard. He wished he could’ve talked to him longer. _He’s coming tomorrow and everything is gonna be okay._ Joseph repeated this thought over and over but he knew it wasn’t going to be okay.

Because he had to stay the night in this horrid closet. And that terrified him.

His stomach felt quesy and his whole body just gross in that way that meant you were feeling sick. Already having thrown up twice, he was pretty sure he was going for a third. Nausea and pain were eating him alive.

Bile burned his throat as he threw up a third time.

He totally called that.

Laying down slowly on his good side, Joseph decided to try and sleep. He was even too tired to care that he laid next to one of his puddles. He had gotten used to the smell already. Hopefully he’d sleep all the way until his father came. Or he went to him. Or whatever their deal was.

Letting out a tiny whine of pain, Joseph wished he could manage more than that without making his pain worse. His left side ached where the ugly man had kicked him a few times. _“Just because I’m giving you back doesn’t mean I can’t bust you up little, eh Joseph?”_ He was pretty sure there were loads of bruises on him. It would not be pretty when he undressed. The chance of seeing his father and grandfather tomorrow – or today – would be the best thing ever. And he thought of them and his mother as he slipped into an uneasy sleep.

Startling awake to the sound of the lock and door what felt like only ten minutes later, Joseph whimpered in pain. He had jostled himself too much. Anton, he had learned through a proper handshake introduction, closed the door behind himself. That was odd. The man always kept the door open when he was inside and also always brought a lamp with him. There wasn’t one this time.

Worried, Joseph tried to sit up. He heard and felt Anton somewhere close to him. It was way too dark to see or make out anything. “Hey, little man. I’m just itching from excitement for tomorrow. Aren’t you? I can’t wait.”

Joseph felt him crouch next to him. It was like a switch in the still stuffy air of the closet. Trying to scoot away, he was stopped by a hard pull on his arm. He screeched in pain as Anton dragged Joseph back over to him.

Cold metal greeted his neck.

“I don’t like yelling, Joseph. Don’t do that.”

Something told him he wasn’t going to be sleeping tonight.

  

* * *

 

It’d be a lie if he said he wasn’t a little nervous. But nervousness was a good thing as long as it didn’t take over. Kept you on your toes.

Ivo drove to the meeting spot with his father-in-law in the seat beside him. He had the duffels of money in the back seat of his new Plymouth. He thought, if anything, it would keep Joseph’s mind off other things. He loved cars as much as Ivo did which he had to admit was something nice to have in common with his son.

Three million dollars. It was a large sum. Very large. It was going to take some time to make back the money if the plan didn’t work out but he’d figure it out. Good thing about being both son-in-law and heir was that he didn’t have to worry about Timotei questioning the use of the money. He wanted his grandson back as much as Ivo wanted his son.

Also in the back seat were Lord Hideous and whatever Joseph had named the other one; he’d have to ask. Joseph loved them and Ivo thought they would give a large amount of comfort to him. He hadn’t wanted to take away the cat from Vesela but she told him Joseph was going to need it more than she did.

He hoped Joseph was doing all right. But he was only seven; being kidnapped was a traumatizing experience. Even to someone older, it would cause major damage to their mental wellbeing. On his worst days, Ivo still had nightmares about watching his father die. And he had been almost ten years older than Joseph was now. It had happened so quick and his life was never the same after that. He knew how trauma could affect a person. Ivo would have to be patient with Joseph these coming weeks.

Pulling into the lot of a shipyard along the Hudson, he looked at the numbers on the warehouses. Finding the one he was looking for, he drove his car in, parking it in front of Anton and Daniel. _So they are working together. Joseph must be in the car…_

The brothers smiled as Ivo parked and Daniel flicked a finger to Anton, probably telling him to bring out Joseph. Yanking the door open, Anton dragged Joseph out and crouched behind him.

“Jesus Christ…” Ivo trailed. He’s rarely been shocked by a sight before, but this? His temper began to flare. Clutching the steering wheel and breathing deeply, he brought himself back to level. _Temper doesn’t help, idiot._

Both he and Timotei stepped out of the car, leaving their doors open behind them. Sending a few prayers to God and hoping that He was listening, Ivo looked around at his surroundings before his gaze fell back on his child. He knew he should keep his eyes on Anton and Daniel but he could only look at Joseph because the sight terrified him. “The fuck did you do to my son, you bastards?”

Anton smiled at this as if it was so amusing. Fucking bastard. “And hello to you too! Where are your manners, Ivo?” He was ready to punch the piece of shit just for that. Ivo was Lord Kavinsky to his lowly ass. “All we did was have some fun is all. I said you can have him back; I didn’t say what condition he would be in. And if you will take the moment to notice, he is in one nice piece.”

Ignoring Anton, he looked back at Joseph. “Joseph?” he said with his concern oozing off his words. Ivo wanted him to look at him but Joseph kept his gaze on the floor. “Joseph, look at me.”

His son’s head slowly rose to look at Ivo. Gut twisting now that he saw Joseph head on, Ivo took the time to examine his child’s face. There was a cut-open bump at his temple; black and blue with the dried blood still crusted around where it had dripped. Along his cheek, there was another bruise, probably from a slap. His lips were chapped and his entire face was pale. His breathing was shallow and he looked like he was in a lot of pain – that meant there was a lot more that Ivo couldn’t see.

But what was really bothering him were Joseph’s eyes. They were, surprisingly, not bruised or anything but tired. Exhausted actually. But that wasn’t what was bothering him. What bothered Ivo was that there was nothing in them – not an ounce of emotion. They were just there. There wasn’t anything making you realize that there were feelings inside Joseph.

“Come here,” he said, holding his hand out as an invitation.

“No, no, Lord Kavinsky! Money first! As we check the money, you get your boy,” Anton said as he gripped Joseph’s shoulder tighter causing him to wince in pain.

Glancing over at Timotei who nodded, Ivo backed towards the car, making sure Joseph was always in his line of sight and reached in to grab the bags. They were heavy, obviously, but he was too stubborn to make two trips. Grabbing them all in one go, he sat them down in the middle between the two parties.

He backed up while keeping his eyes on Joseph as Daniel walked to the duffels and began his check of the money.

Settling himself on his knees, Ivo stretched out his hand once more. “Come here, Joseph.”

Anton looked over to Daniel, who nodded back at him, and released Joseph’s shoulder. He swayed a bit – must be dizzy from the bump on his head – as he slowly walked over. Ivo wanted to just walk over himself and grab him but he knew that he needed distance between himself and the bastards. When Joseph finally reached him, Ivo carefully pulled his child into his grasp and hugged him close which caused Joseph to flinch and whine from pain. Uncurling himself as quickly as possible, he looked his son up and down and noticed the odd way he was holding his arm. Pulling him in from the opposite side, Ivo held Joseph close, pressing kisses on his forehead softly.

Joseph clutched back, holding Ivo with one arm like he never had before, even with two. Resting his head on Ivo’s shoulder, he began to breathe heavily like these were the first breaths he had taken in months. In all honesty, Ivo was shocked Joseph wasn’t crying. And if he started to now, Ivo sure as hell was going to let him go as long and as much as he needed. But by the look of his puffy face, Ivo had a feeling he was all cried out at the moment.

Anton and Daniel were still checking the duffels, making sure all was there. Looking over again at Timotei and receiving the nod, Ivo clutched Joseph even closer and whispered into his ear.

“Don’t look.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Прадядо (prádyado) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife


	15. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ivo is a piece of shit and forever will be.  
> If any of you ever want to ask, complain, or wonder about anything, come chat with me or leave a comment! I happen to like talking

As they drove back, Timotei and Ivo made conversation about anything and everything. Some things were just plain stupid but Ivo figured the stupider and weirder the conversation, the higher chance they would get some type of reaction from Joseph. He would take anything right now – even just a tiny twitch of his lips.

But they got nothing.

Joseph sat in Ivo’s lap as Timotei drove. It was both dangerous and illegal but so was everything else he did. And this was for a very good reason; he wouldn’t dare leave Joseph alone in his thoughts right now. He needed as much as company and comfort that he could get. He still had that freakishly dead look in his eyes and it was starting to really worry Ivo now.

Thinking on thoughts of comfort, he remembered who he brought with him. Carefully reaching behind him, trying his best not to jostle Joseph, Ivo grabbed the stuffed animals he had brought.

“Here you go. I thought you might like their company,” he said, handing them to Joseph.

Joseph glanced at him, then his animals. Slowly reaching out with his right, he took them and curled them into himself, pressing his face into their heads. “Thanks,” he whispered ever so quietly. Or at least that’s what Ivo thought he said – he could barely make out the word. His stomach churned, he couldn’t think of anything to do to give him comfort. He wasn’t good at the sort of thing.

Remembering how much comfort Joseph had taken from the hug Ivo had given that day on the porch, he laid his head carefully on Joseph’s. “You never told me what you named Lord Hideous’ lady,” he murmured to him.

At first, he thought he hadn’t heard him, but after a few minutes he heard a soft reply. He didn’t catch it this time though. These quiet replies were another thing that were bothering him.

“Can you say that again, vnuk? I didn’t hear. You know how old men are. Bad ears.” Timotei asked as he drove.

“Lady Calico. I think it matches her perfectly.” Joseph answered, whispering into her silky fur.

“Hmm… Lady Calico… not bad actually. Far better than Ms. Cat would’ve been, that’s for sure.”

They turned onto Ivo’s street and the house came into view. He had left Vesela pacing back and forth from the kitchen to the living room and back. She continually swore since the morning that if they didn’t bring back Joseph, she’d never talk to her father and she’d dump Ivo’s ass so fast he wouldn’t even know what hit him. Now that he thought about it, she would’ve probably slapped him before she left. Always liked being dramatic, his wife. While he had brought back Joseph, he felt like he was bringing back more of a shell than the actual child.

As they parked in the garage, he was surprised Vesela hadn’t rushed in or waited for them there. Opening the door, he and Joseph got out. But Joseph didn’t seem like he wanted to move anytime soon. He just stood there, clutching his cats to his chest, staring at the floor. Making a decision, Ivo scooped Joseph into his arms, pressing him close to his chest. _Give Vesela some more shock while I’m at it._ Joseph simply rested his head on Ivo’s shoulder, closed his eyes, and breathed in deeply. Kissing his son’s forehead as he went, they all made their way inside.

* * *

When she had heard Ivo’s car, she was barely able to keep herself breathing. Were they able to get Joseph? Was he all right? Were they all okay? She had listened to parts of their plan this morning, knew there was guns involved. She had prayed constantly that everything had went the way it was supposed to. At least her father or Ivo were back; someone had to drive the car here. But was everyone else? Was her baby alive and in one piece?

She was too afraid to find out the answer.

“Come and sit, Vesela. You pacing and panicking isn’t going to do anything. They’re going to walk in any minute now.”

There were days that Vesela genuinely hated her older sister. She was a pain in the ass most of the time. This was one of those times. Vesela was grateful that Nikol had come and she was extremely thankful for the comfort she had provided. But that didn’t earn her the right to say anything right now. She wasn’t the one whose child was kidnapped and possibly injured. Hell, he might not even be alive for all she knew.

_Stop thinking like that! He’s fine… he’s fine… he’s fine…_

She heard the sound of the garage closing and the door connecting to the house opening. Vesela’s heart stopped. She turned slowly towards the door, sending a prayer to God as she did, hoping that her baby was alive.

It was one of those days that she actually felt like God was listening.

She tried to hide her surprise when she saw that Ivo was carrying Joseph but her husband was observant and caught it in a second. He sent her an annoyed look, almost saying _“Why wouldn’t I?”_ Vesela was able to think of a thousand answers for that. Mainly, that he hadn’t held Joseph since he was maybe two or three years old. Ivo was never the loving type, and for that matter, probably never would be.

Seeing Joseph’s face froze her in place. Opening his eyes, he lifted his head off his father’s shoulder and looked at her. He was so bruised and pale; he hardly even seemed aware what was going on around him. Clutching his father, what looked like, as hard as he could with his right arm, he held his left close to his chest. He looked like he was in pain and her heart clenched at that thought.

Sure, she didn’t even blink an eye when Ivo would hit Joseph, but those were for a reason. Those were punishments which he had earned himself. She herself had never been hit by her father growing up, so she was both a bit hesitant and surprised the first time Ivo had hit Joseph. But then she had been shocked the first time Ivo had hit her eight years ago. He had sworn that he would never do it again and begged her to come back – actually on his knees begging. And it was the only promise he had ever broken in his lifetime – when he had beaten her a few months ago.

Clearing her head with a few deep breaths, Vesela slowly made her way over to her husband and child. She stopped directly in front of them, looking closely at Joseph. He just stared at her blankly as tears trickled silently down her face. She wrapped her arms around her men, crying into her husband’s chest. Ivo kissed her head, whispering “I told you I’d bring him back. That means you’re going to keep my ass, right?”

Laughter mixing with her tears, she nodded. Stepping reluctantly back to really take in Joseph this time, she held his head and kissed him carefully on the forehead. Her stomach turned when she noticed his face still hadn’t changed. Vesela knew he had to be traumatized but she wasn’t expecting this. It’s like he didn’t care he was home and someone would believe it if they didn’t see how hard he was holding Ivo.

“You’re going to take him to the hospital, right?” They could easily patch him up themselves but something about his arm bothered her. She wanted him professionally checked and if she remembered correctly, her father and Ivo had some doctors in their pockets.

“No worries, dear. I’ve already called ahead. We’ll go in a bit,” her father answered.

“ _I’ll_ go in a bit,” Ivo said as he stepped around Vesela and walked to the kitchen, getting himself and Joseph some water. “Vesela, you stay because your worrying is going to get extremely annoying and Timotei, someone needs to put the money back into our funds. Also, call in to make sure the cleaners did their job.”

She felt her face turning red from both embarrassment and anger. She hated when Ivo said things like that to her in front of her family. It sometimes led to awkward conversations with her concerned father and always led to horrible ones with her bitchy sister. Nikol seemed to enjoy rubbing it in Vesela’s face how her husband would never say those things to her or treat her that way. That maybe she wasn’t so lucky getting Ivo.

Vesela always thought that she was just jealous that he had never wanted her like every other guy seemed to. Nikol was apparently the sister that every man lusted after. Except Ivo; he found her more annoying than Vesela did.

And sometimes, she felt like Ivo forgot her father was head and not him. And by the look on her father’s face, he was thinking something along the same lines. Except with far more annoyance and anger igniting his eyes. But she could tell he was going to let it go – he usually always did. “I suppose so, yes. I’ll see to it then. Make sure one of you calls and lets me know what happens,” he said while walking over to place a kiss on Joseph. “Welcome home, vnuk.” Glancing over at his eldest, he said “Come, Nikol, I’ll drop you home.” And with that, walked out.

Stopping near Ivo and Joseph, Nikol welcomed Joseph home and followed their father out the door. Once she was sure they left, Vesela glared at her husband. “My worrying? Annoying?”

Ivo just shrugged. “Yes and you know I’m not wrong. You’re not coming and that’s that.”

“That’s that? You’re joking,” exasperation and anger edging into her voice. “There’s no way I’m not going to the hospital with you guys, Ivo. No way in hell.”

Annoyance hardened on his face. “We’re are seriously not going to fight about this, Vesela. All you’re going to do is keep asking a billion unnecessary questions and fret and shit. I have no intention of putting up with it, when I’ll already be dealing with him.”

Noticing that Joseph had stiffened slightly when they started arguing, Vesela decided to give up fighting. She didn’t want to cause him any more stress than he was already in. Plus, she knew that she wasn’t going to win. When she thought about it, she never won. As stubborn as she was, Ivo was so much worse.

“You’re a such a piece of shit.” She had hoped she would’ve sounded stronger when she said it but only her defeat and tears came out with it. It sounded pathetic even to her ears. Clenching her fists at her sides, trying to clutch whatever was left of her pride, she stalked to her room. He simply stared after her, bored and unimpressed.

A lot of times she wondered why she even bothered putting up with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Прадядо (prádyado) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife


	16. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, uh curious question. Do any of you guys get excited when there's a new chapter? Like "Yes! She updated!" or something? *Shoulder Shrug* Just, you know, wondering...  
> Anyways please enjoy!

They sat in one of the examining rooms, waiting for the doctor to come. He stared down at his hands in his lap; well, hand because he kept his other one clutched to his chest. His father had tried making conversation but Joseph hadn’t even bothered with it. Eventually, he had given up and just sat quietly.

Joseph tried his best not to feel or notice anything. It helped him ignore the pain he was in and the abuse he had suffered. It didn’t help him forget though.

He really wished it would.

He didn’t think he would ever be able to sleep again. Just closing his eyes panicked him because of the darkness. Not to mention the possible nightmares that might come. Not _might come, will_ come. Joseph just knew it was going to be horrible tonight. Just the thought of having to sleep alone in his room tonight made him anxious. He hadn’t realized he was having a panic attack until his father suddenly stood and walked over, hugging Joseph into his chest.

“Breathe, Joseph.”

He tried to slow his breathing but it was just too hard. Too many things were going through his brain. Suddenly all the pain awakened, his head ached, and something told him he was going to be sick. His stomach was churning nastily. Almost like he had a hurricane brewing inside.

“Breathe.”

His father’s voice broke into his thoughts. _Breathe._ Focusing on the calm way he felt his father breathing, he slowly matched him. He felt his hurricane calming, taking away some of the nausea. Unwinding himself and staring at Joseph, his father asked “What were you thinking about? You can tell me, I promise.”

Staring back at his father, Joseph realized that if he hadn’t said I promise, he wouldn’t tell him. He probably would’ve yelled at Joseph for his fears. But his father didn’t give and take promises lightly. They were always worth their weight. If he promised, that meant there wasn’t anything wrong with telling him. No repercussions. No consequences for what was being told.

Breathing in deeply, he whispered “I don’t want to sleep in my room. Alone. In the dark.” His voice had gone so low by the end, his father had to get even closer than he was already.

Leaning back, Ivo blinked at him, probably contemplating his child, when he held Joseph’s good hand and said “Would you like to sleep with your mother and I? Bed is definitely big enough.”

Normally, Joseph would be shocked about kindness from Ivo, but he hadn’t been in touch with his emotions all day. He kind of preferred it that way. “Can I really?” He asked, biting lip.

“Yes you can. Of course, you’re going to have to put up with my snoring. According to your mother, I snore when I’m tired, which is ridiculous. But if it is true, then you’re going to have to deal because these past two days have been exhausting.” His said with a small smile ghosting his lips.

“I think I can deal, tatko.” If his father did snore, that’d be wonderful. It meant when Joseph woke in the middle of the night, he’d realize where he was before he panicked. He’d know he was home, sleeping between his parents. Not in a cold, dark closet. Not in a horrid, torturous place.

“Perfect,” his father said, just as the doctor walked in. He looked intently at her, as if it wasn’t who he was expecting. Sticking out his hand, he introduced himself “Doctor, Ivo Kavinsky.”

She took his hand and shook it, although she slightly paled upon hearing his father’s name. _How is she one of his doctors if they’ve never met? She doesn’t look very happy to see him…_

“Hello, Mr. Kavinsky, I’m Dr. Castillo. I know that Mr. Dobrev had spoken with my husband but he’s in the middle of completing an examination and we didn’t want you to wait too long.” She sounded slightly nervous as she spoke.

_So her husband is bought and she is by default then? That’d explain why they’ve never met I guess. Probably not what she ever imagined. Working for the Bulgarian mob._

“Not a problem,” his father replied, “As long as you’re as good as your husband, there won’t be one, yes?”

She gave him a nervous smile, probably catching on to his threat. “I’m just as good, if not better. No worries, sir.”

His father nodded. “Good. Let’s get started then?” He sat down beside Joseph, watching her every move closely. Joseph felt bad for her. He knew how terrifying it was to have his father’s full attention. It was a horrible feeling and very heavy.

Glancing at Joseph, she smiled. “Hello there. Joseph I was told, right?”

He just nodded. If he wanted to talk, he would talk to his family. Joseph had no intention of talking unless he had to and what she asked she already had an answer for.

“Do you mind if take off your shirt? I was told your arm might be hurt and that would be the easiest way for me to take a look. I also need to get a look at your other injuries under there too.”

Before he could shake his head no, he didn’t mind, his father jumped in. “I’ll do it.”

Turning towards Joseph, Ivo pulled out his right arm first then went for his left. He barely touched it but it hurt. The fiery, shooting pain came back. Squealing in pain, he pushed himself away from his father. His father flinched back when he heard the noise. “I’m sorry!” He said apology and surprise filling his voice.

_Did he just say he was sorry?!_ Joseph was pretty sure he had never heard his father say those words. He couldn’t believe he had not only heard them, but was on the receiving end of such words.

Scooting closer to Joseph, he said quietly “I’ll go slower this time, promise. No worries.” He carefully tried again, going far slower than he had before, glancing at Joseph’s face every couple of seconds.

Finally getting Joseph out of his shirt, Ivo took in the state of his son. Joseph also looked down at himself; he wasn’t sure what to expect but he definitely wasn’t surprised by what he saw. His father on the other hand was shocked. He actually visibly paled with the shock taking over his features.

Joseph couldn’t blame him. He was full of nasty bruises where he had been kicked. His left arm was horribly bruised and puffy. It was a terrifying shade of black and blue in a certain spot, probably where it was broken.

“Jesus Christ… Christ above, what did you let them do to my child?” Ivo whispered. His father’s eyes were glued to Joseph’s arm – by far his worst injury. If this is his father’s reaction, he didn’t want to imagine what his mother would have been like if she had come. He was annoyed that his father wouldn’t let her come but now he was definitely glad she hadn’t. He didn’t think he’d be able to keep himself together when she started to cry. She’d probably be able to break through the wall he had built between himself and his emotions.

“Well that is definitely a nasty break you’ve got there, Joseph. How long has it been broken do you think?” Dr. Castillo asked.

Unfortunately, this was one of those moments where he had to talk. “A day and some,” he said quietly. “It broke when he tackled me and took me,” he murmured to his father in Bulgarian. He didn’t know how much the doctor knew but he didn’t plan on sharing anything with her. But he knew his father was going to ask anyways; no point in saving that bit for later.

“That fucking piece of shit…” Ivo murmured to himself. “Should’ve made him suffer.”

Joseph hadn’t looked when his father and grandfather had shot the men. Even if he hadn’t been told not to, he wouldn’t have looked. His stomach turned just from the sound of their bodies dropping to the floor. And when they had driven away after taking back the money, Joseph kept his eyes closed; he didn’t want to see blood and brain splatters. While they had used silencers on their guns, the guns still made a noise. The memory of their sound wasn’t one he wanted.

Bringing his mind back to the present, Joseph gazed at the doctor. He wanted her to get started already. Shivering from the cold, he was hungry and exhausted although he didn’t expect to get any sleep tonight. She looked back at him and smiled.

“Let’s get started then. Looks like you have quite a few injuries I need to take a good look at and patch up.”

* * *

Lucky for them, the pharmacy was still open by the time they were finished. Joseph was thoroughly and utterly exhausted. It took hours to finish with Dr. Castillo and he just wanted to go home. He could barely keep his eyes open any longer as he rested his head on his father’s shoulder. Hopefully he wouldn’t drool on his suit jacket; Joseph was pretty sure it was expensive.

The only thing stopping him from sleeping was his hunger. The pain had subsided after the doctor had given him medicine. She had only given him the Tylenol; he was supposed to start the other one tomorrow. Something for anxiety if he remembered right. He wished he was allowed sleeping pills. Restful sleep had no intention of visiting him tonight; maybe even for a lot of nights.

Reaching the car, Ivo buckled Joseph into his seat, placed the bag of medicine in lap, and went over to his own chair. After he sat and buckled, he glanced over towards Joseph, studying him closely. Leaning over, his father pressed a kiss to Joseph’s head, and turning on the car, drove them home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband


	17. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my lovely beta and to my lovely readers!  
> If you wanna chat, come at me! [samandbooks](http://www.samandbooks.tumblr.com)  
> Art blog (with my meager offerings) over [here!](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)

Joseph sat with Mr. Cat and Lady Calico in his lap on the loveseat in his parent’s room as he watched his mother fix the bed. He had quietly offered to help her take off her gazillion pillows but she told him not to worry. She had gotten over her panic about his injuries after she helped him shower; a process that took a while on account of wrapping up his cast and covering his bandages among other things.  But apparently, seeing him clean helped Vesela calm down.

He was okay for the moment. Getting over the panic of peeing blood took a bit of effort on his mother’s part; he only remembered after that the doctor had actually mentioned it would probably happen. The panic had caused his head to hurt again, which made him throw up on the floor.

The process of getting a shower was definitely a long one. But he was okay now.

He was nervous. Never before did he sleep with his parents. He figured it would be comforting but he was still worried he would bother his father. Worried to the point where he actually told his mother to forget about it, he’d manage fine by himself. She, of course, wasn’t fooled and told him that even if he were to kick his father in the balls from moving too much right now, he wouldn’t do anything about it.

Joseph was actually curious about that but was too afraid to test the theory.

He was feeling a little better. The medicine was obviously dulling the pain, but his head didn’t feel fuzzy like before. He thought the shower helped clear his head a bit.

His stomach growled. He forgot he was hungry; he had eaten a little in order to take his medicine back in the hospital but he wanted a meal. Peering at the clock, he noticed it was late. _Too late for a meal? Maybe I should just have a snack?_ Stomach growling again, he decided to just grab something from the kitchen. That in itself was quite a feat.

Making his way slowly to the kitchen, he stood in front of the fridge, trying to decide what to have. He had been having a craving for spaghetti for days; he had told his mother a few days ago but she never got to it. _Is it wrong to ask for spaghetti right now? I want that instead of a snack._

Deciding to see how far he could stretch his parent’s kindness, he walked back to their room and stood in the doorway. His father was sitting on the bed reading a book but there was no sight of his mother. He stood looking around but didn’t see her. _Probably in the bathroom…_

Peering at Joseph over his book, his father asked, “Ready for bed?”

Joseph bit his lip. He had planned on asking his mother, he had a better chance with her, but he didn’t know if it was worth asking his father. Looking towards the bathroom, he didn’t think his mother was coming out anytime soon. _Ask or not ask…? It can’t hurt to try can it?_ If anything, his father would just get annoyed and nothing else.

“Whatever it is your thinking of asking, just get out with it already.”

Joseph jumped. He forgot his father was sitting there, waiting. “Tatko? Uh…,” he bit his lip again, “…can I have some spaghetti?” He rushed it out before he could change his mind. He said it nice and clear so he wouldn’t have to repeat himself. Joseph didn’t think he had the strength and energy for that.

Gazing at him curiously, his father asked “Spaghetti? Here I thought you were going to ask something drastic. Would you like me to go buy some? I’m pretty sure the diner is still open.”

 _I’m definitely never going to get over him being nice. It’s so unnatural._ “Could you really?” His voice full of hope.

Ivo shook his head as he spoke, “You make it sound like you’re asking me to get the goddamn holy grail or something.”

He stood up, grabbing his wallet and phone off the nightstand, and made his way to Joseph. “Sit. I’ll be back in a bit.” Joseph stared after him and listened as he grabbed his car keys, turned on his car, and left. _He seriously went to get me spaghetti… Maybe he’s gonna be nice from now on?_

As much as Joseph wanted to believe it, he knew that wasn’t true. It’d be like when his mother left a few months ago. Once Joseph’s injuries started to heal and a few weeks passed, his father would go back to being himself. He probably just felt slight pity for Joseph right now.

Grabbing both his cats and walking over to the bed, he slowly and carefully got up, and laid down in the middle.

His mother eventually walked out of the bathroom and looked around for her husband. “Where’s you’re bashtá, Joseph?”

“Went to get me spaghetti,” he answered sleepily.

She stared at him in surprise. “Seriously?” Probably just as shocked as he had been.

“Really.” He hoped his father wouldn’t take any longer; he was falling asleep just lying here.

“Huh… okay, I guess.” Vesela said, coming and lying down next to him. She brushed his hair out his face, “You doing okay?”

“I’m fine, mayko,” he said quietly. _For now…_ he added to himself. He was fine because the lights were still on and he was awake; well mostly awake but still. If she asks him when they turn out the lights, his answer will probably be different.

He was too exhausted to stay awake any longer. Even his hunger didn’t stop him from wanting to close his eyes. He thought he heard the door and then his father but he wasn’t too sure. He was stuck between consciousness and oblivion. He couldn’t decide what was in his head and what wasn’t. Everything was so jumbled and he was beyond exhausted to bother sorting it all out

Joseph was pretty sure his father was standing in the doorway calling him but that was the last conscious thought he had before sleep captured him.

* * *

He awoke to screaming.

The first thing he did was reach for his gun. It took him a minute to realize it was Joseph who was screaming.

Vesela had turned on her lamp and was trying to wake him. “Joseph! Joseph, it’s nothing! Wake up!” She said while shaking him gently, probably afraid to hurt him if she shook any harder.

His eyes flew open, filled with terror. Covered in sweat, his chest rose and fell with his heavy breathing. Ivo reached behind himself and turned on his own lamp, then looked down at Joseph. Vesela wrapped her arms around him, resting her head atop his, and began to sing him a lullaby. It helped calm Joseph just slightly, his breathing beginning to slow.

Still staring at his wife and child, he noticed something on Joseph’s arm, which had also smeared onto Vesela’s shirt. _Is that blood? Where the hell did that come from?_ He didn’t remember any wounds that would have reopened just from some thrashing. There were some scratches and cuts but they were minor. They wouldn’t have come open enough to be bleeding that way.

Tapping Vesela’s shoulder so she could move a bit, he carefully grabbed Joseph’s arm and took a better look. Joseph stared at him, the fear in his eyes growing. He couldn’t help but wonder why.

Looking closely at his arm, Ivo noticed there were two larger wounds and a few minor ones. But what really bothered him was that they looked like cuts from a knife. “What in the fuck…” he murmured, mostly to himself. “Where could these have come from?” He glanced up at Joseph, “Where did these come from, Joseph?”

He just stared at him, panic intruding the fear in his eyes.

“Joseph?” Vesela asked quietly. “Where are those from? They weren’t there before.”

He started shaking his head, whispering quietly but the panic was evident to Ivo’s ears. “They’re nothing. Nothing. That’s all. Y-You guys just didn’t notice before. Nothing! Nothing, I swear!”

Ivo stared at him closely. He knew he was being lied to, but unlike usually he couldn’t figure out what the truth was. None of it made any sort of sense. _Where could the cuts have possible come from? I don’t get it… he was sleeping and then wakes up with wounds…_

It just didn’t make sense.

There was no plausible answer for what just happened. And the only one who actually knew was Joseph; he was obviously not going to say anything. If Ivo was going to get any answers, someone else was going to have to get them for him.

He will have to call Timotei come daylight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband


	18. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come complain, suggest, chat, or ask! [samandbooks](http//:www.samandbooks.tumblr.com)  
> Thanks for reading!

He hadn’t thought about his dream power when he had taken up his parents’ offer to sleep with them. If he had, he would’ve never agreed. Staring at his uncovered cuts, Joseph was still surprised. Sure, he could take things from his dreams but he never imagined that he could ‘take’ his nightmares too. Especially not wounds. It made his nightmares all the more real and all the more terrifying. It made the entire prospect of sleep all the more terrifying.

He was afraid to sleep tonight. It was only morning but already he was worried. There was no way he’d be able to get rest; he knows the nightmares will come back. Daniel’s smile when he had grabbed him. Anton’s horrible face and mocking laugh. The cold press of the knife – never actually hurting Joseph but rather an ever-present threat held by Anton in the pitch black dark of the closet every time Joseph fell asleep that night. In his nightmares, the threat was no longer simply that.

Curling under the blankets, he tried to calm his breathing down. Not even asleep or dark and he was panicking. _Pathetic… “That’s what you are, did you know that, little man? Bet you’re a huge disappointment to your daddy, huh? Has he ever said that to you? Pathetic little boy, you are.”_

_Pathetic…_

Those were probably the most hurtful words the stupid ugly man had managed because they were true. When didn’t his father call him pathetic or say he was a disappointment? _So true…_

Joseph hadn’t heard his grandfather sit beside him while he was busy with his tears and thoughts. He hadn’t even heard him walk into the room. He jumped when he felt his grandfather’s hand on him.

“I’m sorry, vnuk, I didn’t mean to startle you.”

Unwrapping the blanket from around himself, Joseph glanced at his grandfather. Despite that it was still early, he was already dressed and ready for church. But they usually met him _at_ church; he never stopped at the house first.

“Dyádo, what are you doing here?” He whispered while wiping his face with his sleeve.

“Well, I might have heard a little something about nightmares and I thought I’d better stop by instead of waiting until we see one another later. I wanted to make sure you were doing all right, my dear Joseph,” he said, sadness laced in his tone. “Are you doing okay?”

Joseph bit his lip. No, he wasn’t doing okay. He didn’t think he would ever be okay again. It just seemed like too hard of a thing to manage. Being okay was something he wanted to be able to tell everyone, but he didn’t think those words would be coming out anytime soon. Even just lying by nodding yes was too much work. Too far from the truth.

“I’m never gonna be okay, dyádo,” his voice wavering from the tears he wanted to shed. “Never ever.”

Wrapping his arms slowly around Joseph, his grandfather dragged him over to him and kissed the top of his head. “Maybe you’re not okay now, vnuk, but you will be eventually. Don’t say never. You’re just going to need some time. And you take all the time you need. No one is going to rush you.”

He just shook his head against his grandfather. No matter how hard he tried to explain, nobody would ever understand. Sure, he would eventually get passed this particular ordeal but he would never actually fully recover. Come ten years from now, and Joseph was pretty sure that the nightmares would still haunt him or something would trigger his memories. Everything couldn’t just magically be forgotten. The best thing that Joseph could hope for was better memories overcoming these; only something told him that knowing his luck, worse ones would instead.

His grandfather interrupted his tumultuous thoughts, “Would you like to talk about your nightmare? I heard something about injuries.”

“Dyádo?” Joseph started quietly. “Did your bashtá ever have nightmares?”

“Everyone has nightmares, Joseph. No one is exempt of the terrors of sleep.”

“Did he… did he ever bring back stuff from his nightmares?”

“I honestly have no answer for that, vnuk. But I feel like you’re aiming for something specifically. Why don’t you simply explain it to me?”

Biting his lip, he spoke quietly in case one of his parents were coming to the room. “The cuts, dyado. The cuts are from my nightmares.”

Timotei simply stared at Joseph. It made Joseph squirm a little, as if he should have never mentioned it. “Dyádo?”

Shaking his head a little as if clearing it, he said, “You were hurt in the dream? Those are from the dream? Those exact cuts?”

Joseph nodded his head, “He was cutting me with his knife.”

If he hadn’t been pressed into his grandfather, Joseph was sure he would’ve had another panic attack. Just saying the words awoke all his pain and all his memories. _Hey little man, don’t fall asleep. You know you’re not allowed to…_

“…seph. Joseph!”

A hand touched him. Joseph jumped and screamed. Burying his head between his knees and throwing the blanket over himself, he tried to get away from Anton. _He’s in the house! I’m gonna die, I’m gonna die!_

Hyperventilating and seriously nauseous, he threw up into his lap. He coughed trying to clear his throat, when the hand touched him again.

“No, no, no, no… please don’t! Please, please, PLEASE!”

Joseph continued to beg, beg, beg Anton not to hurt him. He had felt the hand pull off of him the minute he had started to scream again but it didn’t mean anything. It could easily come back. Could easily abuse and hurt him. Cut him into strips with the knife. Cut him into little pieces while he was still alive to send to his father.

Cut him up piece by piece.

* * *

They had been talking about Joseph when the screaming started.

Vesela was trying to convince Ivo to go to church with her father and she and Joseph would stay home. They both didn’t think he was up to seeing people and sitting for church and lunch. But Ivo, of course, was being difficult.

“I don’t see why I have to go to church with your family and then lunch afterwards. _You_ can go enjoy the company of your wonderful family, while I enjoy a day home with Joseph. It’s hardly fair that I have to deal with your annoying family and not you.”

She didn’t know how to explain to him that Joseph would be more comfortable with her watching him than he would with Ivo.

“Ivo, I just think – ” when she was cut off by the sound of Joseph screaming.

Both their heads turned swiftly towards the stairs. Her father was upstairs with Joseph and he wasn’t sleeping, she didn’t understand why he would be suddenly scared. But there had only been one shout; maybe her father had calmed him down.

“What in the hell?” Ivo uttered to himself.

Deciding that her father had handled whatever had occurred, she went back to what she was trying to say. “I really think that – ”

Screams and what sounded like words pierced the air again. They both glanced at one another and ran towards the room.

* * *

 The first thing that hit him when he reached his room was the smell. Disgusting was all he could think. Taking in what he saw was next; it was quite an effort.

Timotei was crouching on the floor on the side of the bed in front of a lump that must be Joseph under the covers. Now that Ivo was closer, the screams became far more coherent. And he didn’t like what he heard coming out of Joseph’s mouth.

“Please, please, please don’t! Please don’t hurt me anymore mister, please!” His voice was already hoarse from all the screaming.

“Vnuk, calm down! Joseph it’s me! It’s Dyádo! I promise it is! Look at me!” Timotei was adding his bit of yelling, trying to get through to Joseph.

Ivo realized he was still frozen in the doorway with Vesela the same behind him. Shaking himself out of his stupor, he rushed up and crouched besides Timotei. He was too afraid to touch Joseph; he didn’t want to make his nightmarish thoughts become reality.

“Joseph? Joseph, it’s tatko! No one is here but us, I promise!” Promises always seemed to get through to Joseph. But they didn’t seem to be making it through the haze of his terrors. Nothing was.

Vesela strode over and yanked the blanket off Joseph. Ivo had to admit he was surprised by her forcefulness. He felt his eyes go wide.

The source of the smell was discovered. A huge puddle of vomit was on the mattress and all over Joseph. _Definitely not ever using that blanket or sheet again. Even if it gets washed 50 thousand times. And Joseph’s clothes are also going to get dumped. Holy fucks, it stinks._ His face was tear-streaked and red from all of the screaming. The fear in his eyes was all anyone could really see, though. He was so panicked and terrified that it hurt to look.

Carefully grabbing Joseph’s arm so he would look at her, Vesela spoke in a slow, calm voice. “Baby, look at me. Look,” she turned his face towards her, “no one is here but us. Me, you, your bashtá, and your dyádo. That’s it, sweetheart. Just us.”

Joseph stared at her, his chest heaving from all the terror he had overloaded on himself. He blinked slowly and took in the occupants of the room, glancing hesitantly at both Ivo and his father-in-law. His chest started to slow as if he was realizing where he really was and who he was actually with.

“Repeat it to me, Joseph. Tell me who's here,” Vesela continued.

The fear was still captured in his eyes but there was also a sudden awareness. Looking at his mother, then back at each man in turn, he whispered so quietly that they all had to get closer to hear.

“There’s no one here but us. Just me, and mayko, and tatko, and dyádo. That’s all.”

“He’s not here…” Realization voiced itself in Joseph, “He’s not here… I’m… home.” He bit his lip and grimaced – probably from the taste in his mouth, “Home.” He glanced at himself, then the bed, “I think I threw up. And I think I need a shower,” he said quietly, looking at everyone’s faces nervously.

“Yes, I’m going to have to say I agree, vnuk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband


	19. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Complain, chat, ask, suggest, or whatever! [samandbooks](http://www.samandbooks.tumblr.com)  
> I also made a [master page](http://www.samandbooks.tumblr.com/dn) for the series - still under construction kind of  
> Art blog [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.com)
> 
> Thank you all for reading!

The shower, of course, was a long process. It felt even longer than the last time because his father insisted he was going to help Joseph this time. He apparently had no intention of touching the soiled sheets and blankets; his mother got stuck with that part.

Sitting on his parents’ bed while wrapped up shivering in his towel, Joseph waited for his father to come back with some clean clothes. Joseph had told him that he could get dressed by himself in his room, but his father wouldn’t have it. He had no idea why. It’s not like Ivo was normally the fatherly type for him to suddenly want to help with everything. He wouldn’t even let Joseph scrub himself; he wouldn’t do a good enough job, according to Ivo.

His mother walked in with some breakfast for Joseph. She sat beside him on the bed and placed the tray beside her. “You need to eat so you can take your medicine, baby. I’m surprised you’re not hungry yet.”

Joseph carefully shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know, I’m just not hungry. My stomach still feels weird,” he said softly. He also thought that food can wait till he was dressed but he didn’t want to ruin her kindness; food wasn’t typically allowed in her room.

“Breakfast could have waited a couple minutes until he was dressed, Vesela. Eating while naked is just weird.” Ivo said as he finally walked in with clothes in hand.

Joseph was relieved to notice that his father had come back with regular house clothes. He was worried that he would have to go to church today. Joseph knew he wasn’t ready to face people outside of his family yet. Maybe even just outside of his parents; an hour with his grandfather had gone horribly. He still felt guilty about the way his grandfather had left.

_ “I’m so sorry, vnuk. I truly am. This is my fault…” _

_ “It’s okay, Dyádo. Don’t worry about it.” Joseph replied to him, voice full of his own guilt. He was surprised he hadn’t given the old man a heart attack from all the screaming. _

_ “No, it isn’t all right and I am sorry. And I’d hug you right now but being truthful, I would prefer not to touch you covered in vomit,” his grandfather said, smiling as he said the last part. _

_ “Totally gross,” his father murmured from across the room, his nose covered with his shirt. “I could seriously puke myself right now from the stench.” Joseph was pretty sure he grimaced under his shirt when he said that. _

_ “Don’t act like a child, Ivo. And I know you have a stronger stomach than that, so don’t be ridiculous.” Timotei said, chastising. _

_ Walking in with a glass of water, his mother handed it to him. “Enjoy. Get that nasty taste out of your mouth.” _

_ Gulping down his water, Joseph looked over at his grandfather and whispered ever so quietly, “I told you I wasn’t okay, dyádo.” Joseph was rarely right about things and he wanted to point out the one time he was. Even if it wasn’t a very nice thing to point out; it was like rubbing it in his grandfather’s face that his panic attack was all his fault. _

_ Everyone stared at Joseph. His grandfather stared intently. “I apologized, Joseph. And I’m once more sorry that it seems it was my fault.” Getting to his feet, Timotei leaned down and kissed Joseph’s forehead, then Vesela’s. “I should be going. I’ll talk to you all soon.” _

_ Guilt and shame burned through Joseph. He could tell his grandfather hadn’t taken the words well. He was pretty sure he had hurt his feelings. _

_ As he walked out the door of the bedroom, Ivo called to him while smirking, finally pulling the shirt off his nose. “You forgot my kiss, Timotei!” _

_ Joseph couldn’t help but smile at that. _

“He should have been dressed already Ivo,” she answered him, exasperated. “You’re so slow.”

“Well, he was disgusting, you know. I still have the smell of throw up in my nose.” He scrunched his nose in distaste. “And now he is five times as clean. The length of time was definitely worth it.”

His mother just rolled her eyes at that as she grabbed the clothes from Ivo’s hand. “Five whole times?” She said sarcastically. “Five whole times cleaner, Joseph?” She asked him as she helped him get dressed.

“Actually, mayko, it really was five times. Five  _ whole  _ times,” he said while scrunching up his nose. “Tatko kept saying I still smelled. All I smelled was lots of soap; we need to buy some more by the way.”

His mother smiled at him, probably enjoying the fact that Joseph was talking and attempting some humor. Even his father gave him a small smile. “ _ Now  _ all I smell is soap. I sure as hell didn’t smell it before,” he replied.

Finally dressed, Joseph tried to sit as comfortably as he could to eat his breakfast. He still wasn’t hungry but he was going to try to take in as much as he could manage. Also, eating was incredibly awkward. His left was in a full arm cast, so he had to manage as best as he could with his right. Which, to say the very least, was not good at all. He just hoped he wouldn’t spill his juice.

He couldn’t remember the last time they hadn’t gone to church. For him, he was pretty sure it was never and that meant for his parents, it had to be before he was born, if ever. Had he been feeling well, a Sunday with nothing to do sounding like an exciting prospect. But right now, all he could think about was having to spend a whole day with his parents. That was going to be interesting. Hopefully the good kind.

Shoveling down another forkful of eggs, Joseph’s stomach decided it had had enough. He gulped some juice to get the eggs down and decided he should stop there before he threw up. He was pretty sure his father, and mother for that matter, wouldn’t appreciate that.

“Finished?” His mother asked as she walked back into the room. He nodded his head. She looked over his plate and seemingly satisfied by how much he ate, handed him a pill.

“You don’t have to actually eat first but I thought your stomach might take it better if there was something in there. You kind of emptied it out pretty good today and it’s not even noon yet.”

Joseph glanced down at the pill in his hand. It was the swallowing kind, which he hated. It also wasn’t Tylenol. “Is this the anxiety one?” He asked curiously. He vaguely remembered Dr. Castillo and the pharmacist mentioning it.

“Yes. Now down the hatch it goes, sweetheart. Just put it on the back of your tongue and flush it down.”

He grimaced. She made it sound so simple. Placing the pill on the back of his tongue, he grabbed his juice and flushed it down. Or at least, he tried to. It didn’t seem to want to. After the fourth try, Joseph was finally able to get the horrid thing down. He had no idea how he was expected to do this everyday.

After checking that he had indeed swallowed the pill, Vesela stood up and took the tray to the kitchen. Getting up himself, Joseph walked slowly to his own bathroom to brush his teeth and wash up. Everything hurt as he walked. He had no idea how he was supposed to go to school tomorrow. Not just from his injuries, but the people too. Handling them would not be easy.

Finally reaching the bathroom, after what felt like forever, Joseph hesitantly looked at himself in the mirror. And, boy, did he look terrible. His lack of sleep definitely didn’t help. Staring at his face brought back horrible memories he definitely didn’t want right now. Quickly turning his face away, he rooted through the drawer, taking out his toothbrush and paste. Brushing his teeth with his right was another thing he was going to have to adjust to.  _ So much learning to do, apparently. _

Washing up and using the bathroom (trying his best not to look at the blood), Joseph looked into the mirror one last time. He really wished he hadn’t; his brain and thoughts and memories were all one big mess right now. He definitely hated that big brain that he was always proud of.

Because when he looked back, Anton was smiling behind him.

Too bad his pill hadn’t kicked in yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband


	20. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because I am thankful and love all of my readers, y'all get two chapters this week!  
> [samandbooks](http://www.samandbooks.tumblr.com) on tumblr  
> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com) art blog
> 
> Kudos and comments are amazing things. They make any writer's day

“…some in the fridge in the garage,” Vesela said as she walked out of the kitchen.

Ivo stared after her, then continued to play with his food. Technically, he was eating but he didn’t really have much of an appetite. These past few days had really exhausted him. He was about to reach his limit of how much more he could take. Maybe he had already reached his limit.

He put his thoughts back to Joseph. His son was a fragile soul as it was. This whole experience had practically shattered him to pieces. Ivo never thought he would see the day when Joseph would intentionally hate on his grandfather; he practically idolized him. For him to tell him to his face that his breakdown was his fault? Ivo couldn’t believe it.

His thoughts came back to the present when Vesela slapped him on the back of his head. “Earth to Ivo? I’ve been talking to you, you know.”

“Huh? Oh, ya right. You were saying?”

Rolling her eyes, she sat down on the stool beside him, sipping her coffee. “I was saying that we shouldn’t send Joseph to school tomorrow. He’s not ready to face people yet. He is barely able to handle me and you, not to handle students and teachers.”

“Should probably at least take the whole week off, don’t you think? One day sitting home is not going to make much of a difference.”

She sat staring down into the abyss that was her coffee, “I don’t even think a week is enough, Ivo.” She replied quietly. “He’s not okay. And I want to ask him things but I don’t think I can watch him suffer or have another panic attack.” She paused, taking a sip of her coffee, still not looking at him. “I can’t listen to him scream like that again, Ivo. I’ve never heard anything so horrible before.”

He could tell she was on the verge of tears. Leaning over he kissed her forehead, then her lips, tasting her hazelnut coffee. He hated hazelnut but, Jesus, did it taste good on her. But then again, anything did. Carefully grabbing the mug from her hand, he placed it on the island and deepened their kiss. Goddammit, he loved her. There would never come a day where he wouldn’t. Of that he was sure.

Eventually – but Ivo could tell, reluctantly – she pushed him away. “We should go check on Joseph. It’s too quiet.”

“Maybe that’s a good thing. Maybe he fell asleep. He definitely needs it.”

“Knowing his luck, he’ll just have a nightmare,” Vesela said, finishing her coffee.

Ivo thought back to earlier this morning. With everything that had happened, he had completely forgotten about Joseph’s nightmare. The fear written on his face. The wounds that had come from nowhere.

Biting his lip – he would always blame himself for Joseph’s stupid habit – he wondered if he should call Timotei and ask him if he was able to get anything. He didn’t think asking Joseph again would be a good idea. Probably wouldn’t amount to anything except bring up bad memories.

Standing up and placing another kiss on Vesela’s forehead, he murmured in her hair, “Make sure you eat something. Can’t live on coffee you know.”

She gave him a small laugh at that; he considered it a win. Placing his dishes in the sink, he began walking up the stairs. He heard the fridge and a plate back in the kitchen.  _ Definitely a win. _

Reaching the top of the stairs, Ivo could’ve sworn he heard Joseph’s voice. But listening again he heard nothing.  _ Just imagining, maybe. Christ, I’m exhausted. _ Passing Joseph’s door, he backed up and decided to make sure he was alright.

“Please…”

_ Okay, I definitely didn’t imagine that. _ Knocking, he called out and walked in. “Joseph?” He said again.

“Jo-”  _ CRASH! _

“What in the fuck?” He said as he dashed into the bathroom.

He stopped abruptly, nearly stepping on glass. Joseph was curled in a ball with his head between his knees, breathing heavily. Probably on the verge of another attack. The mirror was broken, millions of shards of glass of all sizes all over the room.

“Joseph?” he whispered, not wanting to spook him and have a repeat of earlier. Stepping carefully around the glass, he reached him and slid himself down to the floor, sitting next to Joseph.

Ivo reached his hand out to touch him but stopped a breath away from his shoulder. “Joseph? Joseph, it’s tatko. Are you listening?” He looked and listened closely for anything that could be an answer.

After a minute or two, Joseph slowly nodded his head. Ivo carefully placed his hand on his shoulder just as Vesela came rushing. She stopped the way he had upon seeing the glass. “What happened?”

Ignoring her and keeping his eyes on Joseph, Ivo dragged him into an embrace, placing his head atop his. “Was he here?” Ivo asked.

Joseph nodded his head but didn’t speak. His breathing was slowing as he matched Ivo’s.

Stepping carefully over to them, Vesela sat herself on the other side of Joseph. As their eyes met, Ivo noticed hers were full of tears again. It was rare when someone crying actually got to him. To him, tears and crying were always a waste of time and served no real purpose. But right now, he didn’t think he wanted to see those tears fall out of her eyes. He was happy he was able to stop them in the kitchen, not to have them come back here.

He glanced back down at Joseph and tried to get him talking. “I’m guessing he’s gone now, right? He left after you broke the mirror?”

Nodding again, he let out a deep breath and looked up at Ivo, staring straight into his eyes. Something Joseph rarely did; he never managed to hold the gaze long. Ivo was struck by the fear and the intelligence written in his child’s eyes. The usual wonder and curiosity seemed dead and gone for the time being.

After what felt like a lifetime, Joseph glanced over to his mother, holding her gaze like Ivo’s. She looked at him with all the love she had never managed in the seven years of Joseph’s life. Not that Ivo could really talk; he wasn’t exactly the loving type himself.

Turning his gaze back at Ivo, he said ever-so softly, “Can’t you make him go away? Please?” His lip trembled as he spoke, probably on the verge of tears after seeing his mother’s falling silently down her cheeks.

Ivo stared back at him. How was he supposed to explain that the horrors never really go away? That even though Anton was really dead and gone where no one would ever find him, he would always live on in his brain? There was no ‘going away,’ there was only coping and managing your horrors. How was he to explain to his seven-year-old little boy that the monsters and memories will forever be remembered? Ivo’s own monsters still haunted his thoughts and his had taken place almost 17 years ago.

There was only ever moving forward. But how does a child move forward? Ivo had no clue. He had simply taped himself back together and had he not met and fallen for Vesela soon after, he would’ve shattered like the mirror. She was his glue, keeping him together. But what could be Joseph’s?

Looking into the shell of his child’s face, Ivo said “You’re going to have to make him go away, Joseph. He’s already gone. I killed him and now you need to bury him. Make him go away.”

“B-But I don’t know how! I can’t do it! He’s just always there. Always…” he said, his tears bubbling over. He leaned towards Vesela and pressed his face into her, allowing her to help him shoulder his pain.

Ivo sat thinking. The best he could offer was his help but he wasn’t entirely sure what he could do. Vesela would gladly be the emotional crutch Joseph would need. And Ivo was pretty sure he could manage that too. He was sure as hell going to try. Even if he wasn’t entirely comfortable.

Recovery, Ivo realized, was going to be a long road to be traveled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband


	21. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [samandbooks](http://www.samandbooks.tumblr.com) on tumblr  
> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com) art blog  
>  Enjoy!

He stood staring at the door to his classroom. He had been standing for the past 10 minutes but he just couldn’t bring himself to open the door. Fear of being around so much people filled him. Yes, they were his same old classmates from the past almost year and yes, it was the same old teacher. But Joseph didn’t trust them. He didn’t trust anyone anymore; everyone made him extremely uncomfortable – especially older men. The only men who he trusted completely was his father and grandfather. Joseph didn’t even trust his Tetka Nikol’s husband. But then, he always made him uncomfortable. The man was just naturally uncomfortable; he was weird that way.

Taking in a deep breath, Joseph opened the door and walked into the class; sending a prayer to God as he did that he would be able to at least make it until lunch. That was the goal him and his mother had set this morning; she said if he could make until lunch but no more, she was willing to come get him early. It had been more than a month since Joseph had been to school and she was worried that even that wasn’t enough time away. His father told him there was no way to find out unless he went to test the theory.

So here he was.

Taking his seat after smiling to Ms. Lyn, Joseph breathed steadily and sent one last prayer, hoping that God was in a listening mood today.

* * *

The good news was that God happened to be listening. The bad news was that Joseph forgot his lunch. And he had no money. _Aren’t I just the luckiest person in the world…_ He didn’t even have friends where he could take a bite from their food. Joseph didn’t even have an acquaintance. _Total loner dork, is what you are Joseph Kavinsky. Nothing more. Except maybe a pathetic, crying baby._

Huffing, Joseph halted his thoughts. There was no point in upsetting himself. It wasn’t going to make his hunger disappear. He thought about walking to the office and calling his mother. Maybe she could bring him something; she was willing to pick him up, so he didn’t think she’d mind bringing him food.

Having made his decision, he made the trudge to the office. It had never felt so far away. Now that he thought about it, Joseph figured he’d just tell his mom to pick him up. He made it to their goal and that should count for something. His stomach was queasy and his arm ached a bit. It was out of the cast now, but sometimes it would hurt.

Steadying his breathing as he reached the office door, Joseph walked in and was taken by surprise. Luckily, it was the good sort.

“Hey, baby, I noticed that you forgot your lunch. I guess it’s more _we_ forgot but all the same, right?” His mother said, a brilliant smile on her pretty face. She crouched to his height and held her arms out for a hug. And he was more than happy to oblige.

Walking to her and pressing his face into her shoulder, he said “Hi, mayko, I was just about to call you.”

“The day not go okay?” Her voice filled with concern. Joseph could feel her searching eyes upon him.

“Actually, it wasn’t bad,” he mumbled into her. “I just don’t feel so great, is all.”

“You sure you don’t want to try for the end of the day? There’s only a couple hours left; you’re so close.”

He really didn’t want to. There was just so much people and every movement and unexpected noise made him jump. Joseph considered himself lucky that no one had bothered him or asked him where he’s been for the past month. What if the luck didn’t last the next few hours?

“Joseph?”

Unwrapping himself from his mother, he looked at her and could see the hope written in her face. She wanted him to be able to get through the rest of the day. Probably thinking that it meant he was getting better. That he was going to be okay.

He’d already told his grandfather that he would never be. And it hadn’t been a lie. But Joseph was slowly learning to cope like his father told him to. File away his monsters and the worst of his memories. And his parents had been pretty helpful so far overall. He had yet to tell them anything but they had both made little mental notes of things that bothered him or made him uncomfortable. They were piecing together a small puzzle with the pieces they could find.

Looking in his mother’s face, he spoke quietly. “I think I can make a couple more hours, mayko.” _I hope I’m right… Hopefully God still has His ears open._

Her face lit up with a beautiful smile. Joseph always loved her smile; it could make even the coldest person feel on the inside. “I’m so proud of you, baby,” pressing a kiss to his forehead. Handing him his lunch, she stood up and held out her hand. “Come on, I’ll walk you back to the cafeteria.”

Joseph glanced at her hand. “Mayko, their gonna laugh at me for holding your hand, you know. They already make fun of me as it is.”

Her smiled disappeared and she pulled her hand back like she’d been burned. He could tell something was on the tip of her tongue but she kept it to herself. Nodding her head and smiling once more (though Joseph could tell there wasn’t actually any happiness behind it), she said “Ha, no we can’t have that can we? Alright then, off you go. Enjoy your lunch, sweetheart and see you in a little while.”

She kissed him once more, then walked out of the office. Joseph stared after her; he felt like he had just hurt her feelings somehow, although he wasn’t entirely sure. She didn’t really take it to offense did she? It wasn’t really such a huge deal to get upset over. He was just sick of getting bullied; Joseph had no intention of giving them more ammo to their arsenal. The bits they had were plenty and always struck perfectly home.

Shaking his head in confusion, Joseph made his way back to the cafeteria to enjoy his lunch with the time he had left.

* * *

 Come the end of the school day, Joseph was exhausted. He couldn’t wait to get home. His mother was picking him up today – he was too afraid to walk by himself on the streets he knows so well. All he could ever imagine was being alone on the street and being grabbed up by somebody. Joseph didn’t even bother playing in front of the house anymore, he simply stuck to the backyard. He supposed he should be thankful; most people in Jersey just had itty-bitty balconies.

Sitting on one of the benches outside the school, Joseph waited for his mother to show up. He glanced around at times both looking for her car and making sure that there was still an adult nearby. He didn’t exactly trust them but Joseph was betting on the chance that the teachers and parents were generally decent people.

He had expected her to be here by now and he was surprised when he had come out that Vesela wasn’t here yet. It wasn’t like her to make him wait, especially after this past month. Joseph waited and hummed to himself, checking the street occasionally.

After what felt like hours but was really about fifteen minutes, his mother finally showed. Joseph blew out a breath of relief. He was getting nervous the longer he waited, making his stomach churn. The last thing he needed was to throw up at school.

Walking over to her car, he opened the door and hopped in. “Afternoon, mayko,” he said tentatively. He wasn’t sure if her feelings were still hurt or not from earlier.

Smiling at him, she replied, “Afternoon, sweetheart. How was the last few hours? Do okay?”

Joseph looked at her closely. Yes, she was smiling but it was not one of her radiant, happy ones; the ones he loved more than anything. She must still be bothered then. _But why? It really wasn’t that big of a deal… I don’t get it…_

“Ya, it was alright… Mayko? Is something bothering you?”

She looked at, her smile fading. He fidgeted under her gaze when after a while she just kept staring.

“M-Mayko?” he asked again. “Are you okay?”

What she said next took him by surprise.

“Do you think I’m a good mother, Joseph? Maybe at least decent enough? I mean, I don’t think that I’m horrible but who… who would be able to tell me except you?”

He was stunned. Joseph had no clue how he was supposed to reply. Well, he knew what the right answer would be but… he didn’t know if he should give the real answer or the one that wouldn’t hurt her feelings.

The truth or the lie.

_Is this like tatko’s trick questions? Or is this a real question where she actually wants the real answer? What do I say?_

He really had no clue. But he felt like the real answer was something that should be a heartfelt moment said in their home, maybe curled on the bed together. Mother and son intertwined. The car didn’t seem like an appropriate place to hash out such a heavy conversation.

Tears filled the brim of her eyes when he took too long to answer. “That bad, huh?”

“No! No, y-you just… I’m surprised by the question is all, mayko! Please don’t cry…” He said, rushing his words out, hoping to halt the tears before they began their flow. _This has to be about more than just not wanting to hold her hand… She’s way too upset._

He watched her rest her head on the steering wheel and take in a long steady breath. With her eyes closed, she mumbled out “Am I at least a better parent then your bashtá? I’d like to think I’m slightly better at it than him.”

 _What in the world is with these questions?_ They were making him extremely uncomfortable. He only had planned to go home and maybe manage a nap if he could. There was never plans for an interrogation of sorts. But it didn’t look like she was driving anytime soon unless he answered some questions.

Joseph decided to pull a half lie. They generally worked out well.

“I think…” he started, biting his lip as he went. “I think that you and bashtá are… are better than each other in different… things.” That sounded okay so far. Hopefully the rest would too. “And that you’re both… that you’re both pretty okay at being parents.” _Sometimes…_

He looked at her face closely, trying to read her expression. Joseph hoped his answer was a good one; he felt that it was pretty truthful too. His parents definitely were never going to win any awards, but they didn’t exactly hate his guts entirely either. They gave him a home and he was thankful for that much. They could’ve just thrown him into some orphanage or something. Got rid of him because they never wanted a child in the first place.

But here he was. Here he was with his abusive father and, in her own way, his abusive mother. But he couldn’t exactly bring himself to hate them, despite everything. He loved them; but what he did know was that he couldn’t say that he always would. Only time would tell that much. And he knew that they, somewhere in their hearts, loved him. This past month had helped make that much evident.

Joseph had no clue what was upsetting his mother but he did know one thing for certain in that moment.

Leaning over the center console, he reached out and wrapped his arms around her, hugging as best as he could manage. “I love you, mayko.”

Hugging him back as tightly as she could, Vesela whispered back, “I love you too, baby.”

He was pretty sure he just made her a little happier. A good feeling filled his insides and he couldn’t help but smile. _Score one for me!_

As if she could read his thoughts, her voice tinged with laughter, “You’re as smooth as your bashtá sometimes.”

Smile upon his face, Joseph kissed her cheek and said, “Mayko, I don’t think anyone will ever be as smooth as him.”

His heart lightened as she laughed full-heartedly at that.

_That’s two points. In under five minutes._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband


	22. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This particular chapter is to Hatty+Hattington who asked for an update and I couldn't help but oblige. Enjoy! Oh, and I'll take the coffee from McDonald's if you don't mind - there's is super delicious.  
> Btw, I was thinking of maybe updating twice a week now? I've actually written 17 chapters ahead because I was planning on doing the 12 days of Christmas. So if I manage a good enough margin then I'll be updating twice instead of once. Hope that makes some of y'all happy
> 
> Complain, talk and all that jazz [samandbooks](http://www.samandbooks.tumblr.com)  
> Art blog [sambamart](www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> Thanks to my amazing beta and readers and of course, comments and kudos are wonderful things

Oh, how he hated birthday parties.

He didn’t understand why everyone loved them so much. But then, the people who loved them usually had friends. Something Joseph did not.

Standing next to one of the benches in the middle of Central Park, Joseph wished for the day to already be over. It felt like such a waste of a Saturday for a cousin that he loathed. Andrey was such a pain and was like any other kid Joseph knew – always laughing and taunting him. But in his Tétka Nikol’s eyes, he was such a glorious, amazing child.

She definitely needed some glasses.

Andrey was only a year older than Joseph, turning nine today while Joseph turned eight in a couple months. But he acted as though he was the boss of everyone – first grandchild entitlement apparently.

Joseph hummed quietly to himself as he stood watching the other kids enjoy themselves. He thought about trying to go play with them but he was too nervous to ask if he could. He had been sitting with his mother but she told him to go be like the other kids and play. That wasn’t going to happen, hence why he stood next to a bench out of her view.

Might as well sit.

So he sat.

_I just want to go home… it’s so boring. Maybe if I had a book or something._

“I’m glad I’m not the only one bored out of my mind.”

Joseph jumped, startled by the sudden conversation. He looked into the face of his father as he sat beside him. “Hi, tatko.”

“If I heard correctly, you’re supposedly playing with the other kids. But my eyes are telling me otherwise.”

Shrugging his shoulders, he replied as he stared out at the other kids playing. “I don’t really think they would want me there anyways. Especially not Andrey; he really doesn’t like me. He wouldn’t like me playing with them.”

He felt his father’s gaze as he looked at him. Also shrugging his shoulders and looking out at the kids, he said, “Eh, kid’s always been a brat. Pain in the ass like his parents, if you ask me. You don’t need him or his friends.”

Joseph felt a little smile light his face. “Tatko, dyádo always says you should never talk behind someone’s back and say nasty things about them. That’s backbiting.”

“Course he does. That’s righteous Timotei for you. But no worries, I’ve said as much to your Tétka Nikol and Tetíncho Yulian. Straight to their faces. You know me, Joseph, I neither take nor give bullshit. I’ll tell you straight how it is,” pausing, he took a sip from his water. His father didn’t believe in soda and the only juice he drank was orange. Ivo rarely even drank alcohol; he had a cabinet with, apparently, some expensive ones but they were barely ever touched. It had to be a grand occasion and he had to be drinking with someone. “No one will ever get bull from me. Keeps things simple and honest that way, I think.”

“You actually told them their son is a brat?” Joseph choked out through his laughter. Knowing Ivo, he would even tell God there was something wrong with him. Of course, if it wasn’t blasphemous.

"Of course I did. Why wouldn’t I? They don’t seem to be aware, so it is my civic duty to let them know."

Joseph shook his head as he laughed some more. It was days like these – just enjoying laughter with his father – that Joseph loved. One of the major reasons he loved his father at all.

"Are you wearing your watch?" His father asked while placing his arms on the table and his head atop them.

Looking at his father curiously, he answered "Ya, why?"

Closing his eyes, he mumbled out "Wake me up in... twenty minutes? Twenty should be good. Christ, I'm just so tired." He blew out a breath. "Don’t wake me unless it's an emergency or times up. Someone looking for me is not an emergency."

"'Kay, tatko. Twenty minutes," he said, counting the time out on his watch.

He looked back out at the kids playing. How hard could it be to make friends? Hard, in Joseph's experience. But he wasn’t asking for much. He only wanted one; he'd even take an acquaintance. Just someone to talk to once in awhile. Tell them about his weekend or a funny story. About animal facts and the books he's read. Just someone.

Joseph didn’t think that was too much to ask for.

Taking his gaze back onto his father, Joseph studied his face as he slept quietly. He must be really tired if he fell asleep so fast. That's when Joseph noticed something small and red on his shirt.

"Ooh! A ladybug!"

He quickly slapped his hands on his mouth. Ladybugs were not emergencies and his father wouldn’t be happy to be woken. He tried again.

"I mean, ooh, a ladybug," he whispered into the breeze.

Carefully getting up from his seat, Joseph trotted over to where the cups and things were. He grabbed a small, clear container, a lid, and a pen and made his way back to his bench. Hopefully the ladybug hadn't moved.

He gathered some grass, sticks, and leaves, making a little habitat in the container. He also poked some small holes in the lid. Then, Joseph slowly stuck his hand out, hoping the ladybug would cooperate.

Today was, it seemed, a lucky day.

The ladybug, Spot he decided, walked onto his hand and he slowly pushed Spot into the container. Quickly, he shut the lid to make sure it didn’t fly away. Beaming with happiness, Joseph went on to the next step – finding aphids. Spot would be much happier with some.

He placed the container on the bench, then got up and stood on the tabletop in order to have a look at the lower branches of the tree beside them. "Fingers crossed there are aphids, Spot. But this park is big, I'm sure I can find you some."

Joseph hummed as he looked carefully and closely at the leaves. Spring had freshly come and nature was waking up from winter, which Joseph was thankful for. The animals and insects loved to come out in spring.

Carefully plucking some leaves after finding some aphids, Joseph sat down next to Spot's house. Peeling off the lid, he tried his best to get the leaves in both without damaging them or opening the cover too wide. Of which he had success.

"Ha! I'm gonna take you home and put you in my window, Spot. You're gonna love it! Maybe I'll find you some friends too!" He exclaimed while smiling with pride at his little ladybug habitat.

"Who are we finding friends for, exactly?" Ivo mumbled out, slowly opening his eyes as he woke.

"Oops... sorry tatko. I didn’t mean to wake you but... you only had a minute left anyways."

His father yawned while rubbing his face and running his fingers back through his hair. "Nnnh... No problem, Joseph." Sitting up and stretching, he asked again, "So who are we finding friends for?"

"Oh, ya right. Look," he said, handing Spot to his father. "I caught a ladybug and made him a habitat. I even got it some aphids too! Did you know that a ladybug can eat up to fifty aphids a day? And in their lifetime they can eat up 5,000? Pretty cool, right tatko?" He was excited to show off Spot and he had loads more ladybug facts. He hoped his father would ask.

It was days like these that Joseph loved.

* * *

 Ivo looked at the little habitat in his hand, looking closely until he located the ladybug. He could tell from Joseph's voice how excited he was to talk about his ladybug. The smile was also a major clue.

"5,000 sure is a lot of bugs. How long do ladybugs live that they have all that time to just devour white puffs on leaves?"

Joseph's smile grew wider and his face lit up. Probably eager to share more ladybug facts. "They usually live one to two years. Do you think Spot will live that long? But I think I'll let him go after awhile. He probably enjoys being outside."

"So this is Spot then?" His kid really had to learn to get original with names. A lesson in creativity maybe would help a bit.

"Yup! I wanna find him at least a friend. It's not fun being lonely," Joseph paused, as if realizing what he said. "I would know," he finished quietly.

He looked closely at his son. Ivo didn’t understand why Joseph had such a hard time with other kids. Why he never seemed able to make a friend. It wasn’t like Joseph wasn’t interesting or didn’t talk. When you got him talking about something he knew a lot about or something he loved, he never shut up. He had a huge imagination, probably because he was alone all the time.

So why couldn’t he make friends? Why was he always picked on?

Joseph sat, his eyes downcast, biting his lip. Probably on the verge of tears. Definitely the last thing Ivo needed right now. His brat had been doing pretty good since his medicine had actually taken affect. The pills helped with his panic attacks; Joseph hadn’t had one in a couple weeks. Ivo and Vesela took that as a sign that Joseph was slowly recovering since his kidnapping. He smiled more and acted more like himself lately. But he was still terrified to go out by himself unless it was the backyard. He refused to walk to and from school anymore. And there was absolutely no way he would stay home alone anymore.

But he was making progress. And they were thankful for that much.

Maybe this was a chance to help with his recovery. Making his decision (it wasn’t like he was doing anything important anyways), Ivo poked Joseph and said “So how do we find Spot some friends? Is there a special way to look for ladybugs?”

Joseph looked up at Ivo, a small smile starting to ghost his lips and the light coming back to his eyes. “We, tatko?” He sounded excited at the chance.

“Eh, sure why not? Can’t say I’ve ever hunted for ladybugs before but there’s a first for everything.”

A huge smile lit up Joseph’s face, his eyes sparkling. “Great! Maybe we can find some other cool insects too!”

He jumped up of the table and bounced with excitement. “I’m gonna get another container first just in case we find something else. I don’t wanna mix them together. Be right back!”

Ivo watched him as he ran off, a smile having grown on his face.

Maybe this would actually be enjoyable.

And if anything, it beat this shit party he was forced into coming to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband


	23. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Minor administrative thing, the master page and all that is going to move to my art blog because technically, writing is an art. So that's where you're going to find everything (yes I know I technically haven't put anything yet. School takes away time from the important things...) in a few days time.  
> Complain, chat, ask questions and whatevs over here now [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> Enjoy reading!   
> (p.s There's a SpongeBob reference in here)

Joseph hummed and bounced as he and his father walked along on their ladybug hunt. He couldn’t believe it when his father had offered to help find more bugs.  _ He must be beyond bored… He’s…beyored. _

Trying to hold back his laugh, Joseph kept his eyes peeled, trying to decide on which tree or bush he should look at first. He had been lucky finding Spot, now it was time for some real work.

“Question,” his father chimed from behind him. “How exactly do we find ladybugs? Anything special or do I just keep my eyes open?”

“Uh, I guess you just look around. Probably best to look at the leaves and branches but you can find them on the floor too.”

“Well, how did you find Speckles?”

“Spot, not Speckles, tatko.”

Joseph felt his father rolling his eyes. He just knew he was; habits die hard as his dyádo would say. “Okaaay. So, how did you find Spot Not Speckles?”

Stopping and turning to glare at his father (it was a good thing it was a joke and also a good day), he found him standing with an amused smirk on his face, his eyes alight with humor. “Well?”

He couldn’t help but smile; he was actually enjoying their time together. Shrugging his shoulder, he said “I found him on your shirt while you were sleeping.”

Ivo’s face scrunched in distaste. “Of course you did.”

Joseph knew his father didn’t like bugs. It wasn’t that he was afraid of them or anything; it was just that he preferred them not anywhere on him, in his house, and especially not in his cars. His father didn’t mind picking up a snail and throwing it or freaking out Vesela with a worm or smashing a mosquito with his hand. But for some reason they just bothered him incredibly. Especially if they were on him.

So Joseph decided to up his game. “Did you know that when ladybugs feel threatened they let out this fluid stuff from their knees? It’s supposed to smell bad and be toxic and leaves yellow stains behind.” Joseph couldn’t help but feel his smile grow wider as he continued. “I wonder if Spot was afraid when I tried to catch him?”

Ivo’s face lost its expression. Then his lip curled in disgust as he looked at his shirt – shoulders, front, and sides. Joseph began to laugh as he watched his father checking himself. Looking up from his inspection, his father raised an eyebrow and said “Enjoying yourself?”

“Actually, kind of, ya.” Joseph said through his laughter. “But that fact was true tatko. I didn’t make it up.”

Dusting himself off in every which way, Ivo walked over to Joseph and ruffled his hair. “Don’t make me murder Spot. I don’t think he’d appreciate it.”

Joseph knew he wouldn’t but nonetheless, he grabbed the habitat from his father’s hand. Just in case.

His father smiled down at him and leaned over, placing a kiss atop his head. “Just check the leaves then?”

Nodding his head, Joseph replied “And branches too. I’m pretty sure we can find another.”

“Okay, leaves and branches. Ladybug. Simple.”

Walking to another bench that was under a tree, Joseph placed his containers on the table and jumped up onto it. He peered through the leaves and branches hoping he could find something. Glancing back, he wanted to make sure his father was still nearby; Joseph didn’t want to be alone.

His heart stopped when he didn’t see him. Joseph knew that he actually was probably nearby but he didn’t like the thought of not being able to see him. If Joseph couldn’t see him, how did he know that his father could see him? Joseph preferred to always be in the sights of one of his parents. He compromised when he had to when he was with his grandfather. But that was it.

Biting his lip, he glanced around some more, when he noticed his father’s side a little farther off behind a tree. Breathing a sigh of relief, Joseph watched his father looking through branches for a bit before going back to his own search.

He looked closely and thoroughly when he heard his father walking up. Joseph still hadn’t found anything and hoped that maybe his father had.

“Open up your container, Joseph. I’ve got you a ladybug and he better stay on this leaf and not go on my hand unless he wants to die today.”

Leaning down to grab his container, Joseph wiggled with excitement. He opened the container carefully, making sure not to let out Spot and helped his father put the new member of the habitat inside. Shutting the lid quickly, he exclaimed excitedly “Well done, tatko! You have caught your first ever ladybug! Sadly, there is no prize other than your own satisfaction and my pride.” Joseph shrugged his shoulders, “But that should be good enough prizes I think.”

His father burst out laughing. Joseph beamed; he was getting good at this. He also thought his father had a really nice laugh – he should use it more often.

With his face still enlightened by his smile, Ivo said “I’m not sure you and I get the same levels of satisfaction from this but I’ll accept your pride for whatever it’s worth. I can also cross off catching ladybugs off my list of things to do before I die.”

“That’s called a bucket list, tatko.”

“Ya, ya, whatever.” He checked his watch. Joseph hoped it wasn’t time for them to go back already. He was really enjoying himself and he still wanted to find something to put in the other container.

“Do we have to go back already?” He asked.

“Mmm… no, not yet. We can still squeeze out some more time.”

“Okay, good. I still want to find something else for my other container.” Joseph looked closely at the new member of his bug crew. “Do you want to name it, tatko? You did catch it.”

“Hmm…?” He said as he was checking something on his phone. “No, no, go ahead and name the fucker.”

Joseph stared closely at his new bug, when a fantastic name came to mind. “Welcome to the Kavinsky family, Speckles!”

Glancing up from his phone, his father smirked ad shook his head slightly. “You, my dear brat, are horrible at naming things.”

“Hey, it was your idea. I just took it from you.”

“ _ I _ was making fun of Spot. There is a difference.”

“Eh… whatever he’s still going to be Speckles.” Placing the ladybug habitat on the bench, Joseph stood back up to peer some more through the leaves. He was going to use his remaining time and find himself one more bug.

Ten minutes past and he still hadn’t found anything. Frustration was working its way up inside him. It wasn’t worth getting angry about but he couldn’t help it.

“Five minutes, Joseph then we have to go back.” Said his father as he sat on the bench watching Joseph search through the branches. Apparently his work was done after catching Speckles.

“Only five?! But tatko, I haven’t found anything yet.”

“Then use your minutes wisely. Everyone is probably already wondering where we went.”

“We went to actually have fun, is what.” Joseph grumbled out as he searched every stick, leaf, and branch.

And that’s when he saw it.

“I found something!” He exclaimed excitedly. “But I can’t reach! Tatko, can you get him for me, please?” Joseph asked, glancing back to his father.

Standing up from the bench, Ivo stepped onto the tabletop next to Joseph. Joseph always felt so short when he stood next to his father. He really hoped he would be as tall as him and not short like his mother.

“What am I looking at, exactly?” His father asked.

Pointing at a particular leaf, Joseph said “There’s a caterpillar on that leaf. Don’t drop him, please.”

“That one?” he asked, pointing.

“Yup! I’ll get his container ready!” Stepping carefully down, Joseph gathered a little grass, sticks and leaves and waited for the delivery of his new friend.

His father stepped down a few seconds later, leaf held between his fingers. Walking over, he dropped the leaf and caterpillar into the container. Joseph snapped the lid shut. He was excited; he’d never seen a butterfly life cycle before. He just had to make sure this caterpillar lived that long.

“I’m going to name him Wiggles! And watch him turn into a butterfly!”

His father scrunched his nose. “Wiggles?” He shook his head, “Actually, never mind. Whatever you want.” He crouched down beside Joseph and looked closely at Wiggles. “How do you know it’s not a moth?”

Joseph thought about it for a minute. “I guess, I don’t but we’ll see! It’ll be interesting either way. I can’t wait!”

Humming happily, Joseph held both his containers, examining his new friends. His father stood off to the side talking with someone on the phone.  _ Business _ .

It gave them an excuse to stay away from the party a little longer, at least. That’s when he heard a voice behind him.

“Are you catching bugs?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband


	24. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't intending to put 2 chpts today, but when I counted out how the story arcs happen for the 12 days of Christmas, I realized it would cut off weird. So enjoy an extra chpt  
> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)  
> Also, I decided that I want to try taking prompts. So if anyone wants to send one of like a missing scene or just something they'd want to read, send a message on tumblr

Turning around, Joseph found himself looking at a boy probably his age. He was little taller than Joseph and his skin was an amazing shade of cinnamon. Having dark hair like Joseph, it came a little past his ears. His eyes were a sparkling brown, dazzling in the spring sunlight.

Joseph realized he still hadn’t answered his question and was pretty much just staring at the other boy. Biting his lip, he said nervously “Ya, actually I am.”

The boy walked closer, “Can I see? I really like bugs. I used to have an ant farm but then they got free and my mom said she’d never let bugs into the house again.”

He didn’t know if he was hiding the shock he was feeling or not.  _ He’s actually talking to me? Wants to see my bugs?  _ Joseph’s stomach filled with butterflies. He didn’t want to screw this up.

This boy might want to be his friend. And that was something he had been dying for forever.

He was nervous but he was going to give it his best shot. “Sure! They aren’t much but I don’t have time to find some more.” Tentatively, he handed the boy his containers. “These are Spot and Speckles and this is Wiggles.”

“Thanks!” The boy said excitedly as he took them from Joseph’s hands. “I love ladybugs. They are my favorite next to roly-polies. Do you know if this caterpillar is going to be a moth or butterfly?”

“I’m not sure but I’m hoping I can keep him alive to see his whole life cycle.”

“Cool! I had a butterfly habitat once. You’re going to love watching it; it’s super amazing.”

“Umm… I’m Joseph by the way,” he felt his butterflies trying to force their way through his mouth.  _ I can do this. It’s not that hard. Just do it.  _ “What’s your name?”

“Really great to meet you Joseph,” the boy said with a smile. “I’m Emilio. I actually just moved here. We used to live in Connecticut but my dad transferred over to New Jersey. We waited until he set up then we came after him.” He continued, while studying the ladybugs. “I think New York is nicer but my dad says it’s more expensive to live here than Jersey.”

Joseph couldn’t help but smile. This was going well and now he really thought he could manage this. Once the talking started, it seemed to get easier. “Which city in Jersey? Cuz I live there too. We came to the park today because it’s my cousin’s birthday party; we don’t actually live in New York.”

“Hoboken. My mom doesn’t like it though. She said she’s heard bad things but it seems nice so far. We moved into our apartment officially two weeks ago. And I start school this week too.”

He felt the smile on his face grow even wider. He just might be able to manage a friend today.

That was an accomplishment.

“You’re going to like Hoboken; I know I do.” Joseph said happily.

Emilio’s face lit with happy surprise. “You live in Hoboken?! That’s fantastic! I officially have my first friend here! I can’t wait to tell my mom. She was worried I wouldn’t make friends. Actually, she worries about  _ everything _ . It’s so annoying sometimes. How old are you by the way?”

He couldn’t believe his ears. Someone had just called him  _ their friend. _ Him. Joseph Kavinsky. Someone’s friend. He couldn’t believe it.

He actually has a  _ friend. _

“Seven, but I’m turning eight in June. How ‘bout you?”

“I turned eight in January. Do you have any siblings? I’ve got three and a half. They drive me crazy; especially my older sister. She’s always yelling at me for something.”

Joseph scrunched his face in confusion. “What do you mean half? How do you have a half a sibling?”

Emilio smile grew bigger as he laughed – he had a really nice laugh. “No, I just meant that my mom is going to have a baby. We don’t know what it is yet. I have three sisters. I’m really hoping the new baby is a boy. I’d love a brother.”

“Three sisters are a lot. I don’t have any brothers or sisters. There’s just me.” Joseph replied.

“And thank God for that. I don’t think I could handle more than you. I wasn’t made for it, I don’t think.”

Walking up to them, finished from his phone call, Ivo raised an eyebrow. He looked from Joseph to Emilio and back again. Joseph could read the question in his gaze.

“Emilio, this is my dad. Tatko, this is Emilio,” Joseph said beaming with happiness with a huge smile on his face. “He’s my new friend!”

Emilio stuck out his hand for a handshake. “Nice to meet you, sir,” his face enlightened by a smile.

His father stared at Emilio for a few then took the hand that was offered. “Pleasure to meet you, young man. Fine manners, you’ve got, I have to say.”

“My dad says that people’s first impressions are important and that manners are what make those impressions. They’re super important.”

“Your father seems to be a very smart man, then. I happen to know some fathers who forget to teach their children manners. Unbecoming, if you ask me.”

“He just moved to Hoboken from Connecticut. And his family is super big.” Joseph chimed in.

Ivo blinked curiously. “Your family lives in Hoboken then? That’s good. I was worried I’d have to drive up to New York every so often for you guys to see each other. Thank you for making my life simple.” He studied Emilio closely, causing him to squirm under his father’s gaze. Putting the smile back on, his father said “So a big family? How big is big?”

Emilio relaxed once the smile came back. “Three sisters and a baby on the way. Also, my grandma lives with us.”

“Really? Quite large. You’re the youngest?”

Nodding, Emilio answered “Not for long. I hope it’s a boy though. I can’t take anymore sisters. They drive me nuts.”

All three of them turned their heads to the side as they heard footsteps coming towards them. Out of the trees came Joseph’s mother, an annoyed look gracing her pretty face.

“You two realize I have been searching forever for you? I’ve literally walked this whole park and-” She stopped abruptly, noticing Emilio. “Oh, hello! Who do I have the enjoyment of meeting?”

Joseph took hold of the conversation. “Mayko, this is Emilio. He’s my new friend.”

Surprise over took the annoyance on her face. The radiant smile that Joseph loved bloomed on her face. “Friend? Well, it’s very nice to meet you Emilio. I’m Joseph’s mom.”

Emilio was staring at Vesela the way lots of people did. His face reddened as his cheeks filled with heat. “Very nice to meet you, ma’am,” he said shyly.

She laughed a soft laugh, “Drop the ma’am, please. It makes me sound old. Mrs. Kavinsky works.”

Ivo mumbled in, “You are old.”

His mother reached over and punched him in the arm. “I’m only 30, jerk.”

Joseph and Emilio laughed. Joseph loved when his parents were joking around instead of fighting. It was so much nicer.

She smiled over at both boys. “While I hate to have to break up this blooming friendship, everyone is waiting back at the party. Come on, let’s go. Andrey isn’t happy that he had to wait to eat his cake.”

“Mayko, Andrey is never happy no matter what.” He spoke to Emilio, “He’s my cousin. He is the one whose birthday party it is.”

“Oh, well we’re here for my sister’s party. Her birthday was a couple months ago but we waited until we moved so we could be with my dad.”

“Really?” Chimed his mother. “Well, pass on our well wishes, then. Let’s go you two, we can’t make them wait any longer. It’s not fair to Andrey.”

Joseph huffed. “Okay…” He looked to Emilio. “It was really nice to meet you. Hope we get to see each other again soon.”

Smiling, Emilio replied “You too! I can’t wait! We’re going to be the bestest of friends! I just know it!”

A hand surprised Joseph, as it was stretched out to Emilio. His father was handing the other boy a piece of paper. “That’s the house number. Call whenever you like.”

“Really? Thank you! I definitely will!”

Emilio waved as he ran back in the direction he came.

And Joseph walked back with his parents joking with one another and four new friends.

The day couldn’t have gone any better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband


	25. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On tumblr doing requests and prompts if anyone wants or if you want to just chat [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> Thanks to all my amazing readers and my wonderful beta!  
> Enjoy!

The ball zinged past his ear. _Uhh… missed again._

“You realize you’re terrible at catch, right?”

Joseph stuck out his tongue at Emilio. “No, I would’ve never noticed.”

Laughing, Emilio said “Just wanted to make sure you knew.”

Walking over to where the ball fell, Joseph picked it up and lobbed it at Emilio’s head.

And made his mark.

“Hey!”

Breaking through his laughter, Joseph replied “I may not catch well but my aim is pretty good! Perfect shot!”

He jumped to the side to dodge the next throw. “Oops! You mis- Ooof,” he was interrupted as he was tackled to the floor.

Emilio looked down at him triumphantly. “Should’ve paid attention instead of bragging! I took you down, son!”

Joseph shoved him off as he was laughing. “I thought we were playing catch not wrestling. Technically you were cheating.”

“Boys! Come in and have some lunch!” Joseph mother called from the backyard door.

“Coming!” They replied in unison.

Getting up and brushing the grass off himself, Joseph was filled with glee. Him and Emilio had been friends for two months now and Joseph couldn’t have been happier. Whenever they wanted to play, Emilio would come over. While his parents seemed like nice people, he didn’t trust them enough to be alone with them in their house.

He still didn’t trust a lot of people actually. But Joseph could say honestly that he was doing pretty okay. He still had nightmares but they weren’t as frequent. He also didn’t sleep with his parents anymore; Joseph had moved back to his room two weeks ago after his father had ‘subtly’ suggested it after Joseph had hit him really hard between the legs.

It was an accident and his father hadn’t gotten angry but Ivo had felt maybe it was time for Joseph to try sleeping alone again. He said this as he was on his knees, doubled over on the bed. Head pressed into the pillow and clutching himself in pain, he practically squealed through his curses of ‘motherfucker’ and ‘holy God of all fucks’ and ‘Jesus Christ, fucking shit’ that Joseph can have his nightlight back and should try sleeping in his own bed. His mother had broken out into laughter the minute Ivo had squealed when he got kneed. Joseph had just sat there blushing in embarrassment and nodding when his father gave the suggestion.

But so far, he was doing good. When he did have a nightmare, his mother would sleep in the bed with him, hugging him close.

_I'm good._ And Emilio’s friendship definitely helped. Joseph never realized how fantastic having a friend was and he was happy he had the chance to finally experience it.

And what was even better was that the whole Vidal family was coming for dinner today. Joseph had been surprised when his father had invited them but was thoroughly excited – even though all three of Emilio's sisters had to come too. He wasn't sure how he was going to handle them from the stories he's heard from Emilio.

Bouncing into the house, they sat at the dining table to eat their sandwiches. His mother ruffled his hair as she passed. “I'm up in my room if you guys need me.”

“ ‘Kay.” Joseph mumbled around his bite.

“Are you guys going to do anything fun over the summer?” Emilio asked after a bit.

Joseph shrugged his shoulders. “Beats me. But probably not. My dad can't really leave far from his work for us to go on some vacation. But we will probably do something small. Like the beach or something.”

“What does your dad work? I don't remember if I asked.”

“Eh, he's a business guy.” Joseph answered nervously. No one had ever asked before and he wasn’t entirely sure how to answer properly.

Emilio stared at him curiously over the last bit of his sandwich. “What kind of business?”

Biting his lip, Joseph replied nervously “Something with insurance, I think. Boring stuff, really.”

“Huh, okay.” He stood up and took his plate to the sink. “It does sound pretty boring, actually.” Walking towards the bathroom, Emilio said “I'm going to use the restroom, then we can play some more.”

“Okay.”

Getting up, Joseph took his own plate to the sink. He was surprised when heard the garage door opening. His father wouldn’t be home until dinnertime and he was the only one who would be using the garage. His mother was upstairs.

He was even more shocked when his father opened the connecting door and came limping in with Venc supporting him. Ivo's face looked fine – not a scratch or bruise on it. But it was horribly pale and you could see the pain written on it.

Venc was his father's assistant; a lot like his second hand is what Joseph thought but apparently the higher ups of the mob didn’t approve for Vencislav to actually have that position. Ever since Joseph started paying more attention to his father's phone calls, he realized how interesting mob politics were. Always so intricate and fascinating. And complicated.

Joseph ran up to his father and Venc. "Tatko, are you okay?"

His father glanced over to Joseph. But Joseph didn’t miss how slow his response actually was. He could also tell he was trying to hide his pain when spoke. "Fine, Joseph, no worries."

He didn’t understand how he wasn’t supposed to worry and he could easily tell everything wasn’t fine. He glanced towards the restroom and prayed Emilio wasn’t going to come out before his father made it up the stairs. Joseph had no clue how to explain.

"Joseph, where's your mother?" asked Venc, his face full of worry and concern for Ivo.

"She's upstairs."

Nodding, Venc glanced in the direction of the stairs. He then spoke to Ivo. "Just up the stairs. Not much farther."

His father simply nodded.

Joseph wished he could tell what was wrong. He didn’t see anything. But then his father was wearing a black suit and button up. He looked harder and noticed the way his father was clutching his side.

And the blood seeping through his fingers.

"Tatko, you're bleeding!" He said with surprise. He quickly lowered his voice; he didn’t need Emilio hearing. "Y-You're hurt bad..."

"I-I'm... f-fine..." He huffed out.

"You're not-"

"Not now, Joseph. Go to the car and get you're father's phone. I forgot it and I need it. We'll meet you upstairs." Venc interrupted.

Joseph bit his lip. "O-okay. Be right there."

Venc nodded and he and Ivo made slow progress over to the stairs. Joseph opened the connecting door and quickly opened the car and grabbed his father's phone.

Running back in, he nearly collided with Emilio. "Oops, sorry."

Emilio smiled his bright smile. "Ha, don’t worry about it. I heard talking. Is your dad already home?"

"Um, ya, I was actually grabbing his phone for him. Lemme just give it to him and I'll be right back."

"I'll just wait in your room. We were gonna play with the cars anyways."

"No! I-I mean, I'll just bring them down. Just wait a minute." Joseph wasn’t sure exactly what was going on but he knew that them sitting in the room next to his injured father probably wasn’t a good idea.

Staring at him closely, Emilio answered "Ya, sure that works too. I'll wait in the backyard, I guess."

"Ya, okay. Be right there." Joseph replied as he dashed over to the stairs. He wished he had long legs to take them two at a time. He felt like he was going so slow.

Knocking on his parents’ door, he opened it without waiting. He figured that this would be one of those times that it would be okay.

Joseph took in the scene before him. His father laying on the bed – his jacket thrown to the side and his shirt open – with his mother sitting next to him, her tear-streaked face filled with panic. Venc was standing with a towel pressed on his father's side. Pretty soon, Joseph thought, it won't be white anymore.

Slowly walking over, he stood next to Venc and said "I got the phone."

He glanced towards Joseph and put a fake smile on his face. It didn’t cover the worry, though. "Thank you. Give it to your mother, please."

Handing the phone to his mother, Joseph sat on the unoccupied side next to his father's head. _He's so pale... Barely even breathing._

"Tatko?" He whispered.

Ivo's eyes flicked open and he turned his head towards Joseph. He stared but didn’t say anything.

"Tatko, this isn't 'fine.'"

A small – more puny than small – smile graced his father's handsome face. He slowly whispered out, "No, maybe not." His gazed flicked over Joseph's face, "I'm pretty sure you have someone waiting for you."

Biting his lip, Joseph realized how he wished Emilio would leave right now. He was too worried to be able to think straight and he was going to have to manage acting like his father wasn’t bleeding out on his bed. He really didn’t want to leave the room, if he was honest.

But he carefully got off the bed regardless. He looked to Venc and then his mother who was on the phone with who he thought was his grandfather. "Ya, I suppose I do..." Biting his lip, he spoke to Venc. "A doctor is coming right, Venc?"

Putting another fake smile on his face, he replied "Yes, he's on his way. I called while we were driving over. You're dyádo will be here in a bit too. Don’t worry, we'll handle it." Winking, he continued "That's what grownups are for. To handle all the hard things."

Joseph smiled just to make Venc feel better. He was getting annoyed from everyone telling him not to worry. He was worried; there was no way around it. Plus, it's not like Venc was an adult yet – he was only seventeen.

But he nodded and walked out the room, shutting the door behind himself.

Slowly walking to his room, Joseph grabbed the bucket of cars and walked down to play with his friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband


	26. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A couple administrative things today -  
> 1\. I may or may not be in search of another beta. I'm still working with my amazing one but I possibly need another just on the basis that mine is often busy. Basically, you're going to be my spell and grammar checker (your English needs to be pretty good), and I might sometimes run ideas and thoughts by you. Bonus, you get to read everything that I've written so far (working on chpt 43 right now) and read chpts as soon as they're written. If you're interested I guess just email me? sam_bam16@yahoo.com  
> 2\. Next, do you guys prefer longer chpts with more content in them? As I'm getting better at writing, I've gotten good at making longer chpts. Do you guys like longer chpts (like 2000+ words maybe even 3000+)?
> 
> With that out of the way, I just want to say you guys should all go listen to Bulgarian music - it's amazing and I only understand like 2 or three words. My amazing reader Hatty actually caught on to the fact that Venc was named after the rapper Venci Venc. Ivo was also named after one. So was another character. Maybe at the start of every chpt, I'll just drop a recommendation on you guys.  
> This note has become freakishly long, my bad. Enjoy reading!

“-seph?”

Emilio poked him in the arm. “Hello? Anybody home?”

“Huh, oh ya.” He watched as Joseph shook himself from his thoughts. “Sorry, I was just thinking about something. Can you repeat what you said?”

He looked at him closely. Emilio knew something was up; he wasn’t sure what, but he knew. Police intuition is what his dad would say. Something had been bugging Joseph since his father came home. What it was he didn’t know but he was going to try and find out.

“I said,” repeating himself, “what kind of car is this one?” Emilio held up some type of sports car. He enjoyed playing with cars and loved looking at them. But he came nowhere close to the level of expertise that Joseph was at. But then, his father wasn’t rich and didn’t have a fancy warehouse filled with fancy cars. Emilio had obviously never seen the warehouse, but he had seen a few of Mr. Kavinsky’s cars when he drove them.

“Oh, that’s a Toyota Celica. Erm… 2001, I think? But it's usually written on the bottom if you want to make sure.”

Flipping the car over, Emilio read the bottom and wasn’t surprised that Joseph was right. But since he met him, Emilio knew he was smart. Smarter than him that was for sure. Emilio hated anything with math and sometimes science too, but Joseph seemed to drink in every second he could get of them.

He watched as Joseph fiddled with one of the cars, once again lost in his thoughts. Whatever was wrong had happened while he was using the restroom. That wasn’t that long of a time but Joseph’s whole attitude had changed. All that Emilio knew for certain was that Mr. Kavinsky had come home. He hadn’t heard any yelling and Joseph didn’t seem like someone who had gotten in trouble; more like someone who was worried.

_Man, I’m going to be a fantastic cop when I get older. Power of observation and deductions! Papa would be proud._

Trying the straightforward approach, he asked “Joseph, what’s wrong?”

Joseph glanced up at him and stared. He bit his lip – Emilio noticed that he did that a lot whenever he was nervous. “Nothing. It’s nothing,” he said wearing a fake smile.

“It’s not nothing. Something has been bothering you since lunch. Did you get in trouble for something? Does it have to do with your dad?”

Visibly paling, he answered quickly “Nothing! He’s fine!”

_I didn’t ask how he was… but he said he was fine. That means that he probably isn’t. Sick maybe? But would Joseph get this worried if he was just sick?_

The puzzle was becoming difficult.

Deciding to let things cool down and try again later, he stood up and said “Can I get another juice from the fridge?”

He noticed that Joseph relaxed with the change of subject. “Ya, of course. Can you bring me one too, please?”

“Sure thing,” he replied as he walked up the stairs and back into the house. Closing the sliding door behind himself, he walked to the kitchen and opened the fridge, trying to locate the juice. He glanced over to the door when the bell rang. He was pretty sure he wasn’t supposed to open people’s doors for them, so he continued looking in the fridge. He grabbed two juice boxes, placing them on the counter, and thought about grabbing an apple. Emilio didn’t think they would mind.

The doorbell rang again, when some man Emilio had never seen came dashing down the stairs to open it. _Did he come when Mr. Kavinsky came?_

He glanced around the door of the fridge to take a peek in the direction of the door and maybe find out what was up. Emilio was too curious to just let it go.

The man opened the door quickly to a man who looked to be in his fifties and another possibly younger than that.

“Could you possibly take any longer to open the door, Vencislav? Ivo would have bled out before you ever managed to make it to the door,” said the older man.

Vencislav tried to reply but was immediately cut off by the older man who gestured to the other man, “Please, after you Doctor.”

_Bled out?! I don’t know Mr. Kavinsky’s name but… he’s the only man upstairs unless another person came with him too._

But it would make a lot of sense on why Joseph was so worried and out of it.

Emilio prayed and hoped the group of men wouldn’t notice him and would be too caught up in their worry. He didn’t think they would appreciate him eavesdropping.

He tried to glance a little closer at the men. He now knew one was a doctor and one was Vencislav. Looking close at the group of men as they walked towards the stairs – thankfully not noticing him – Emilio noticed the blood on Vencislav’s arms and hands. _He must be hurt really bad…_

Shutting the fridge door quietly after the men had went up the stairs and after grabbing himself an apple, Emilio grabbed the juice and made his way back to Joseph outside.

“Here you go,” he said, handing the juice to Joseph. “Took me awhile to find them in that ginormous monster that is your fridge. Also, I grabbed myself an apple; I hope you don’t mind.”

Laughing – although Emilio noticed it wasn’t that strong – Joseph replied “My fridge isn’t that big, you know. And enjoy your apple. You can take anything you like; my parents don’t mind.”

Emilio saw his opening. “So what are your parents’ names? You don’t have to tell if you don’t want.”

Joseph shrugged. “I don’t mind. My mom is Vesela and my dad’s name is Ivo. What are yours?”

_Ivo… so I was right in my deductions… I wonder how he got hurt… I wish I hadn’t needed to go to the restroom._

Stupid mother nature and its callings.

“My dad is Raul and my mom is Claudia. They’re both from Puerto Rico and my two oldest sisters were born there too. They all moved here, plus my grandma, and then me and my other sister were born in Connecticut. Were your parents born here? I noticed your dad has an accent.” Might as well use this as a learning experience.

“Puerto Rico, huh? I don’t know much about that place. I’m gonna have to look it up at the library. And only my mom was born here. In Hoboken, like me. My dad was born in Bulgaria but he came here when he was seventeen. My mom is Bulgarian in case you didn’t guess that bit, by the way.” Joseph smiled as he continued, “She says she’s happy she was born here; that way she doesn’t have my grandpa’s and dad’s accents. She always makes fun of them when they say a word wrong or weird.”

_Maybe that old man was…?_

Emilio was going to give it another shot. Maybe he should just go straight to the point? Go big or go home, right? Joseph was either going to get upset or he wasn’t.

Time to find out.

“Joseph,” he started. “Uh… I want to ask you something but… I don’t want you to get upset or anything.”

Joseph looked at him curiously. “Why would I get upset?” He shrugged as he fiddled with another car. “Go ahead.”

“Uh, okay I guess… How did your dad get hurt? And is it really bad?”

He was met with a surprised stare. “H-how… how did you know?”

Emilio continued nervously. “Well, when I went in for the juice, the doorbell rang and then this guy came running down the stairs, eventually, to open it. Vencislav? I’m not sure if I’m saying that quite right. And then this old guy yelled at him saying ‘Ivo would’ve bled out by the time you opened the door.’ And then he let a doctor in and then I noticed the blood on Vencislav’s arms and hands…”

Joseph just continued to stare. And… stare. It was kind of starting to bother Emilio, actually.

“Uhh… Joseph?”

“They didn’t notice you? I wanted to go check on him but I’m afraid they’ll get mad at me.”

Emilio shook his head. “I guess they were too worried to really pay attention. Is the old guy your grandpa?”

Nodding his head, he replied “Ya, probably.” Biting his lip, Joseph continued. “I think I want to go check on him… I mean you figured it out by yourself so I shouldn’t get in trouble? Plus, we should probably remind my mom that your family is coming. She probably forgot.”

Emilio actually wanted to go see Mr. Kavinsky himself too. For a slightly different reason, though. He wanted to see what happened and all the blood too. He couldn’t help it if he was curious. “Let’s go then?”

Looking at him and then the house, Joseph looked as though he was making the toughest decision of his life. But then maybe, he was. Emilio had no clue what sort of consequences Joseph might get for taking him upstairs. Maybe his parents were the super strict type. Maybe his parents didn’t want Emilio to see certain things. Maybe his father was more than just a businessman.

Joseph bit his lip, and looked as though he had reached his decision. Emilio crossed his fingers and sent a prayer to God while he was at it. He really wanted to go upstairs and see.

“Okay. Let’s go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband


	27. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chat, complain, or whatever on my art blog! [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)  
> I'm also taking prompts or whatever, like if someone wants to see a scene that wasn't written or in someone else's pov. You don't need a tumblr to send a message btw  
> Enjoy reading!
> 
> Bulgarian Music Rec:  
> Setaabrat - Pavell & Venci Venc'

Joseph was nervous. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all. Maybe he was about to get into a lot of trouble.

Luckily, his father wasn’t up to giving out punishments right now.

They reached his parents’ door. Joseph listened to the voices inside, although he couldn’t really make out the conversation very well. His father was probably sleeping and they didn’t want to wake him.

_Should I knock? Probably._

He breathed in deeply, glancing at Emilio as he did. How was he going to convince him after all this that his father had a boring job? He had no idea and he was pretty impressed by the way Emilio had played him so well.

He was good.

Joseph knocked quietly and prayed to God that this wasn’t a mistake. He looked into his mother’s face as she opened the door – albeit not very wide.

“Something wrong, boys?”

He bit his lip, taking in her puffy, tear-stained face. “Umm…” he started, trying to peer around her as he spoke. “I wanted to see tatko, actually.” Grimacing, he corrected himself, “Actually, we wanted to see tatko.”

She stared at him, then Emilio, then back at him. And she definitely wasn’t happy.

Speaking in Bulgarian, she said “Is it beyond you to keep your mouth shut?”

He breathed in carefully. Joseph knew he didn’t do anything wrong; he hadn’t even told what happened. It was their faults, not his. And he was neither going to take blame nor feel guilty about it.

“I didn’t tell him anything, mayko,” he replied back in Bulgarian. “He was in the kitchen when dyádo and the doctor came. Plus, he saw the blood on Venc. I didn’t say a word.”

His mother looked at him closely. She was good at picking out his lies – not as good as his father but still pretty darn good. She nodded slowly as she thought about what he said, glancing back and forth between him and Emilio.

“Alright. Five minutes, that’s it. Got it?”

Joseph nodded his head quickly. “’Kay, thank you.” He turned back to Emilio. “We got five minutes.”

Emilio didn’t exactly smile but Joseph could tell he was pleased at being allowed to enter. “Okay.” He looked at Joseph’s mother. “Mrs. Kavinsky? I don’t know if you remember that my family is coming for dinner?”

She stared at Emilio, digesting what he said.

And she swore.

_Guess she forgot…_

“Right, okay,” she said quickly. “I’ll call and… cancel I guess? Or…” She continued saying her options as she walked away to go use the phone in his father’s office.

“Come in, I guess.” Joseph said to Emilio. “But… you probably shouldn’t ask any questions?”

Emilio nodded. “Okay.”

Joseph opened the door further and walked in with Emilio behind him, who was looking around taking in the large room before him.

Venc was sitting on the loveseat, looking at the floor. His grandfather was sitting on the edge of the bed watching Joseph’s father sleep. The doctor was quietly packing his things in his fancy-looking bag. His grandfather looked up as they walked in.

“Ah, hello, vnuk,” his grandfather said quietly. “How are you?”

“Good, dyádo. And you? Oh, and this is Emilio,” he said gesturing over to his friend.

Emilio walked over and stuck out his hand. “Nice to meet you, sir.”

His grandfather smiled and took the hand that was offered. “My pleasure, son. I've heard many good things about you.

“Really?” he asked, his cheeks filling with color.

“Yes, yes. All good things-“

“Dyádo? You’re using our five minutes.” Joseph cut in.

His grandfather gave a small chuckle. “My apologies, Joseph. Come and have a look. Do try not to wake him, though.”

Both boys nodded together. Walking over to the side where his father slept, they took a closer look.

He was pale, that hadn’t changed, but his breathing seemed a little stronger. He was sweaty and some of his hair stuck to his forehead. The buttons of his shirt were undone and there was a bandage wrapped around his stomach.

Joseph brushed his hair back and off of his forehead – his father always hated when his hair was a mess. He bit his lip; he wanted to wake his father just to hear him say something.

“Dyádo?” he asked as he looked back at the bandage. “How did he get hurt?”

His grandfather looked over at Emilio who was also looking at the bandage. “Worries for adults, Joseph.”

“Okay, but what kind of hurt is it? Can you tell me that at least?”

Sighing deeply, his grandfather replied “He was stabbed. But the doctor fixed him up, he’ll be alright with rest and some prayers will never hurt.”

He nodded slowly, a million questions running through his brain. None of them he could ask, though. In front of Emilio or not; they wouldn’t tell him much. Unfair is what he thought.

Hearing a small noise, Joseph looked quickly back to his father’s face. “Tatko?” He whispered. Joseph watched as his eyelids flickered. He let out another small moan of pain. “Tatko?” he tried again.

His eyes slowly opened, unfocused and filled with pain.

“Good evening, Ivo,” his grandfather said. “How are you- ”

 

* * *

 

 “…feeling?” He was pretty sure it was Timotei talking to him. “Ivo?”

How was he feeling? It was the most stupid question he had ever heard. How the hell did he think he was feeling? Happy and peachy and wonderful? Fucking idiot.

He tried to tell him as much. But it didn’t come out as defiant as he wanted.

“Oh, I'm just fucking fine. What kind of stupid ass question is that you fucking idiot?” Ivo replied, his every word punctured by pain. God fuck, it hurt to speak. It hurt just to breathe.

“Ivo,” Timotei said sternly, flicking glances to Ivo’s other side.

He turned his head slowly, really taking in the room this time.

And was met with his brat’s smirking face. “I think you’re gonna be okay, tatko.”

“Unless the wound gets infected. That can happen and it's really bad if it does.” Someone chimed in.

Ivo tried to pay more attention to the people in the room. There was Joseph, Timotei, Venc, and someone who must be a doctor. And another kid.

Emilio. _Why the hell did they let him in here? Kids don’t know how to keep their mouths shut._

Also, he was apparently a smart ass. Lovely.

“Yes, that is a very large possibility,” the doctor cut in. “So, how are you actually feeling, Mr. Kavinsky? Without the attitude and a real answer would be appreciated.”

How he felt right now was a desperate need to break the doctor’s face. But then, he wanted to do that to anyone who pissed him off.

“I hurt like hell. How do you think I feel exactly?”

“Oh, thank you God.”

Ivo turned slowly to look at Vesela standing in the doorway. She walked over to him and sat beside him on the edge of the bed. Leaning over, she placed a chaste kiss on his lips. He really wished everyone would leave right about now. Ivo was pretty sure he would like her healing style much more than the weird-looking doctor’s.

“Glad to see you up and feisty.” Vesela said with her beautiful smile brightening her puffy face. He vaguely remembered her crying as Venc unbuttoned his shirt and pressed a towel to his abdomen. It wasn’t the first time he had been severely hurt but she panicked every time.

“You just missed him cursing at dyádo, mayko.” Joseph added in.

Stupid brat.

Vesela gave him a nasty glare. There was nothing she hated more than when he disrespected her father. Ivo was pretty sure he just lost some of the tender loving care he could’ve received.

“If I may cut in?” The weird doctor asked. “This is important and you need to all listen closely.”

“Of course, please doctor.” Timotei said.

“Well, first off, rest is most important. Do not exert yourself in any circumstances. Have someone help you when you need to get around. Do not attempt those stairs unless it is absolutely necessary. Next, you're at high risk of infection. The first sign you see of possible infection, notify me immediately.”

“Hah, I knew it,” Emilio cut in. He blushed when everyone turned to stare at him. “Sorry,” he mumbled.

Dr. Weird continued. “Be cautious when you bathe. Make sure your bandages are always clean and redress your wound often. How well you care for yourself is also a factor in whether or not you contract an infection.”

And he continued some more. Ivo was getting exhausted just listening. The pain was getting stronger and he felt like he was going to vomit. He attempted to relax himself into the bed but there was just no way he could. He was hurting bad.

“Medicine,” Ivo cut in.

“I’m sorry, what was that Mr. Kavinsky?”

“Give me a fucking painkiller.” Timotei cleared his throat. “Please,” Ivo added, rolling his eyes as he noticed Joseph smile at that.

“I can’t.”

“Excuse me?”

“I can’t,” Dr. Asshole repeated. “You’ve already had a dose. You need to wait at least a couple hours before you can take another.

Ivo just stared. Here he was suffering through pain and this piece of shit was telling him he can’t have a painkiller. The fuck kind of world did he live in?

“Listen, you fu-”

“My Lord Kavinsky,” Chimed in Venc. “Just sleep for a few hours and then have your next dose. It’ll put your health at risk if you take one now.”

Turning his head to the loveseat, Ivo glared at Venc. But Venc was starting to get immune to those glares. The bastard was getting used to it and that bugged Ivo. Venc just stared back like it was no big deal. Ivo was pretty sure a lot of times Venc forgot who was his boss and also that Ivo was twice his age.

But then, Timotei was almost twice his age and that had never stopped his mouth before.

Fucking karma.

"Tatko?" Joseph started carefully. It meant he was going to say something that he was afraid Ivo would take offense from. Biting his lip – goddammit that habit – Joseph continued. "Tatko, the better you listen and the easier you make it for us to take care of you, the faster you're going to be on your feet." Emilio was nodding behind him as if he had some sort of say in the matter.

"I don’t need taking care of. Perfectly fine."

Vesela raised a perfect eyebrow at him and...

Poked him in his motherfucking stomach.

"You stupid bi-" he was cut off as he groaned in pain when she poked him again. She leaned over and stared at him directly in the eyes. He always loved the beautiful green of her eyes – a pair of damn sparkling emeralds.

"You're not fine. You're badly injured. You could have died. We're going to take care of you whether you like it or not. Deal with it and stop bitching, my handsome piece of crap." And she kissed him. This time a _real_ kiss. Tongue and all.

_So fucking delicious..._

He could never think straight when she kissed him. Pulling away, she said "So, how's this going to go down, Ivo?"

"I'm going to let you pains in my ass take care of me BUT," he paused for emphasis. "I will not stop bitching. I'm an injured soul; I'm allowed that liberty."

Joseph and Emilio broke out into laughter; smiles lighting up their faces.

"Then let us all leave so Ivo can sleep for awhile before he murders us all for some painkillers," Timotei said. "Thank you for coming Dr. Matthews; it is much appreciated," he continued, stretching his arm to Dr. Weirdass-Asshole, shaking his hand.

"Anytime my Lord Dobrev. Get on your feet soon, my Lord Kavinsky."

"Thank you, Doctor," Ivo replied, shaking his hand. "Let's hope your work is any good."

"Ivo," Timotei rumbled. Sometimes, Ivo was pretty sure the old man lived for correcting and criticizing him; keeping him in line and minding his manners. Load of bullshit, is what it was. Ivo could mind his own manners easily – he just used them where it was necessary and if someone deserved them. Not everyone did and while this doctor may have saved his life for the moment, he may have fucked up somehow. And damn, he was screwed if he did.

"My work is some of the best my lord. You will have no complications because of m-" He stopped abruptly. "I meant no slight to you my Lord Kavinsky, my apologies. I hope no complications will arise but if they do, of course do not hesitate to contact me."

Ivo smirked. _Nice save asshole._

 _"_ Again, thank you Doctor," Timotei butted in. "Please, let me show you out." They both walked out, speaking in hushed tones.

Venc started laughing the minute the doctor walked out. "Oh my God, you're such an asshole, my lord."

"Joseph, punch Venc in the arm for me and tell him to mind his manners and who he's talking to. Let him know I'll put him back in the streets if he likes."

Joseph gave a small smile, walking over to the loveseat and punched Venc in the arm. "Uh, do I really need to repeat all that?"

Venc gave another laugh. "No, it's alright Joseph. I got the message. He knows he would miss me too much if I was gone. Plus, no one around is crazy enough to put up with him like me." His smile grew larger as he looked at Vesela and winked. "Except Lady Vesela, of course."

Laughing Vesela replied "Isn't that the truth."

"Mrs. Kavinsky?" Emilio started carefully. Probably worried he wasn’t supposed to interrupt. "Did you talk to my parents?"

Vesela spoke as she brushed Ivo's hair back with her slim long fingers. "I did. I told them we'll have to reschedule because Mr. Kavinsky here came down with stomach flu and I didn’t want anyone to catch it." She turned back to look at Emilio, "They'll be by in a bit to pick you up."

"Okay," he said nodding. His gaze flicked back and forth between Vesela, Joseph, and himself. He was obviously thinking of asking something.

"Out with it, kid." Ivo said, pain laced in his voice. He should probably take that nap.

"You're not a businessman, are you?" He asked curiously.

Even Venc stared as they realized what he was asking.

_Damn this kid is smart._

Joseph was biting his lip as he watched Ivo to see what he would say. Ivo decided to handle this situation the same way he did whenever anyone was skeptical about what he did.

He told the truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband


	28. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took me a bit, I got busy.  
> Prompts, art requests and whatever [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com) You don't have to have a tumblr  
> Enjoy!
> 
> Bulg Song Rec:  
> Ela i si Vzemi by Gery Nikol

“Did you have fun?” His mother asked as they drove home. Her stomach was starting to show more, the baby due in a few months. They were supposed to find out its gender soon. God, was he hoping for a boy. He couldn’t take another crazy sister.

“Ya, it was great. We played lots of stuff and had lunch. Too bad we couldn’t have dinner there,” Emilio said as he gazed out the window at the various buildings they passed.

“It is a shame. We were all looking forward to it. I hope Mr. Kavinsky will be alright. Your father was looking forward to sitting with him.” She laughed, “And to see inside that beautiful house of theirs. It's huge compared to our apartment.”

“Mom, literally a couple rooms are as big as our living room and kitchen combined. The backyard alone is the size of almost the entire apartment. Huge is definitely right.” Joseph was lucky he had a backyard; all Emilio had was their itty bity balcony.

“I wonder what type of business Mr. Kavinsky is into. It seems to make a lot of money.” She continued as they parked on the street and made the way to their apartment building. They lived on the third floor and Emilio wished they had an elevator in their building. Taking stuff up and down the stairs was incredibly exhausting. Not to mention that the stairs were getting harder every passing week for his mother.

“Mmm…” he hummed, mostly to himself as they trudged up the stairs and, eventually, made it to their apartment.

“Papa is bringing pizza with him, so don’t eat anything.” His mom called after him as he walked to his bedroom and laid on his bed. He made sure to close the door so he didn’t have to hear his sisters yelling.  _ Maria probably ‘borrowed’ Alicia’s shirt again… Uhhh… _ It was times like these he envied Joseph being an only child. Although it must get boring sometimes. Lonely for sure.

His mind went back to Mr. Kavinsky and what he had said before Emilio left. The problem was, Emilio couldn’t tell if he was being serious or not.  _ Maybe not so much a fantastic cop… _ He could just ask his father to check him out. Raul Vidal was the best detective ever. But then Emilio was pretty sure he was biased. And for some reason, he didn’t want to tell his father about Mr. Kavinsky – or at least, not yet.

_ “You’re not a businessman, are you?” he asked curiously. _

_ Emilio felt the eyes of everyone in the room on him. He remembered Joseph telling him not to ask anything. Maybe he should have listened. _

_ Mr. Kavinsky was looking at him intently. Emilio liked him; actually he liked all of Joseph’s family, including the grandfather he just met. And he didn’t know exactly who Venc was, but Emilio liked him too. They all seemed really cool. Although, if Emilio’s dad heard the way Mr. Kavinsky talked normally, he wouldn’t be happy. He hated people who cursed; he said it was unnecessary. Emilio noticed that Joseph’s grandfather also thought the same way apparently. _

_ He smiled then. An almost smirk, really. “No, kid, I’m not.” _

_ Emilio noticed how weak and in pain his voice sounded. He was probably exhausted and Emilio felt bad that he hadn’t let him sleep instead. _

_ “So… what do you really do?” _

_ Still wearing his smirk, he said “I’m a mobster.” _

_ Emilio blinked. Nobody just went around admitting that. Mobsters were bad guys; they murdered and stole and hurt people. Emilio’s father used to work in the gang unit in Connecticut; Emilio knew what kinds of people they were. Well, generally. Obviously, his father didn’t mention a lot of stuff but what he did sounded bad enough. _

_ And Mr. Kavinsky didn’t seem like that type of person. _

_ He realized everyone was still staring at him, waiting for his reaction probably. Emilio looked back at Mr. Kavinsky who was looking more exhausted by the second. “Um… really?” _

_ Mr. Kavinsky gave a huge smile at that. “Really. Venc here is my uh… assistant? I don’t know…” He turned his head slightly to look at Vencislav still sitting on the coach with Joseph beside him. “We need to come up with a title for your position, Venc. I’ve no clue what to call you.” _

_ Venc smiled. “I’ll keep that in mind. But for now Venc will do.” _

_ Rolling his eyes, Mr. Kavinsky turned back to Emilio. “I work for the old annoying man who was sitting next to me, whose probably still chit-chatting with Dr. Weirdass-Asshole.” _

_ Emilio couldn’t help but laugh along with Joseph and Venc. Mrs. Kavinsky lightly punched Mr. Kavinsky in the shoulder. “Manners, Ivo. You’re not a child that we have to keep reminding you.” _

_ A genuine smile lit his face as he spoke to her. “Then maybe you guys should just stop reminding me.” He looked back at Emilio. “I work for her father, who runs the entire Bulgarian mob- which I stand to inherit when, God forbid not anytime soon, he conks out on us.” _

_ Mrs. Kavinsky murmured quietly to herself, “God hear your words.” _

_ “So… you’re a bad guy?” Emilio asked quietly. _

_ Ivo Kavinsky looked at him, studying his face carefully. He tilted his head in a curious manner, “Do you think I am?” _

_ He stood, thinking for a minute. “I don’t feel like you are,” he whispered. “I actually really like you, sir, but… but if you really are a mobster then…” Emilio looked directly into his eyes and continued with more confidence. “If you really are a mobster, Mr. Kavinsky, then yes, you’re a bad guy. And if you’re that high up, then you’re one of the worst.” _

_ Everyone in the room studied him closely; even Joseph was examining him under an intent gaze. Mr. Kavinsky raised an eyebrow and, it felt like, was looking at Emilio in an entirely different way. But Emilio couldn’t tell what exactly changed. Mr. Kavinsky opened his mouth to say something when… _

_ The doorbell rang. _

_ “C’mon sweetheart, those are most likely your parents,” Mrs. Kavinsky said. Turning to Mr. Kavinsky she pecked him on the lips. “Get some rest, love.” _

_ Getting up she walked out of the room. Joseph kissed his father on his forehead and whispered “Love you, tatko.” _

_ “Love you too, brat,” Mr. Kavinsky replied smirking. _

_ Joseph smiled and rolled his eyes. “Let’s go grab your stuff.” He said to Emilio as he made his way out the room. _

_ “Ya, I’m coming.” Emilio looked back at Mr. Kavinsky as he was trying to make himself comfortable; letting out tiny huffs of pain every few seconds. “Mr. Kavinsky?” _

_ He flicked his gaze to Emilio, “Hmm?” _

_ “Get well soon.” With that, Emilio walked to grab his things and go home. _

“Emilio!” Maria called as she started knocking on his door. “Papa and the food is here! Hurry up or we’re going to eat your share!” She yelled as he heard her run to the kitchen.

He jumped off the bed, rushing to the door. “Don’t touch my food!” He shouted as he rushed to make sure his sisters didn’t stuff themselves with his dinner. They were such pigs sometimes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband


	29. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you'd like to prompt something or just want to talk, hit me up! The link that says questions? Ya, just click that and put whatevs you have to say, even if it's just a complaint. sambamart
> 
> Enjoy your new chpt! According to a certain someone, this made Ivo not as cool as he is as a mobster. I think it just makes him more human - the man is allowed a personality and things he likes. This particular thing is delicious.
> 
> Today's song rec is actually Russian, which Hatty kindly showed me:  
> Когда Белеют Лица by Talibal

They sat in the patio chairs, enjoying their ice cream and occasionally talking.

Joseph was sitting with his legs crossed on his chair and a book in his lap, with ice cream bowl in hand. His favorite was peanut butter with chocolate syrup and sprinkles; his grandfather told him that one day he was going to kill himself with all the sweets but Joseph couldn’t help it. It was just so delicious. Especially on a warm June afternoon.

He looked up at his father. It had only been two weeks since he was stabbed but he insisted on moving around by the sixth day. Well, he insisted when it was only him and Joseph. His father had made him swear that he would never tell his mother that he was getting out of bed for more than the bathroom. She – and everyone else for that matter – thought that Ivo was still bedridden. They’d all have a heart attack if they knew he was moving; not to mention that he was going up and down the stairs.

But Joseph didn’t understand why his father was in such a rush to get up. He still groaned and moaned in pain. He would be exhausted by the time he finished with the stairs and sometimes just sitting up caused him to curse and huff in pain. Whenever Joseph would express his concern, his father would simply say that he was fine.

Joseph knew better, though, and decided that if he ever felt like his father was pushing himself too far, then he was going to tell his mother. He would be breaking his promise but he thought that it would be for a good cause.

Glancing up from the papers in his hand, his father raised his eyebrow and muttered “What?”

Shrugging his shoulders, Joseph answered with a simple nothing and went back to his book and ice cream.

“Here,” his father said holding out his bowl. “Go put me some more and don’t forget my sprinkles like mayko did.” After she had left, he slowly trudged his way to the kitchen and added them himself.

Joseph smiled as he got up and grabbed the bowl. “She said that that’s too much sugar for you; she didn’t forget. And she told me before she left not to put you any if you wanted more.”

Scrunching his face in annoyance, he said “Just put me some fucking sprinkles, please. I mean, for Christ sake, I’m not asking for much. I’d just like some sprinkles on my ice cream; it’s the only way I eat it.”

The odd part was that his father wasn’t exaggerating or being dramatic; it really was the only way he ate it. The first time he had ice cream in America, it was chocolate with rainbow sprinkles. Since that day, it was the only way and flavor he would eat. It was also the first time he had ever seen Joseph’s mother and met Timotei.

The bowl of ice cream was, apparently, fate.

“Okay but if she gets mad, I’m saying it’s your fault,” Joseph muttered as he walked up the stairs to the house. He wouldn’t dare to say those words to his father’s face. Their relationship had become a little easier since February; Joseph got away with saying little things but he was too afraid to see how far he could go.

Walking into the kitchen, he opened up the freezer and grabbed the tub of chocolate ice cream, placing it on the island. He pushed his step stool up to the edge of the sink and washed the ice cream scooper and scooped his father the last of the ice cream. It was a lot but Joseph was sure he would be thanked for that. His mother had been keeping Ivo on a strict diet of healthy foods for the last two weeks. She said he would feel better faster if he didn’t put so much crap in his system.

Pushing his stool in front of the cabinet, Joseph stepped up and grabbed the sprinkles, shaking out a nice helping. The bowl in front of him looked pretty darn delicious.

He glanced around the counter and floor making sure he left no evidence of sprinkles and finding none, smiled at his success. Dumping the empty tub in the garbage and washing his hands, Joseph picked up the amazing dessert to go give to his father to enjoy.

When, of course, his mother had to walk into the house.

Joseph placed the bowl back on the counter and walked over to help her with the groceries. He was surprised she was already home; her and Tétka Nikol had planned on spending a few hours out together, then get the groceries.

This was a problem. Joseph was pretty sure him and his father were about to be yelled at.

“Uh… your home early. I thought you and Tétka Nikol were gonna shop or something?”

She huffed as she placed bags on the island. “It was a stupid idea; you know me and your Tétka don’t get along sometimes. This happened to be one of those times.” She glanced over at him, eyebrow raised “Don’t want me home, do you?”

Joseph blushed scarlet. “That’s not it!” he said quickly.

Laughing, she replied “I know that. Just joking, baby.” She ruffled his hair – she loved doing that for some reason – and stooped down to kiss him.

He prayed she wouldn’t notice the bowl of ice cream on the counter. He was hoping he could at least get it to the freezer without her noticing. She walked over and started emptying the bags onto the island. Joseph’s father probably was wondering if Joseph got lost in the kitchen. Hopefully he wouldn’t call out for him.

“Can you help me put the groceries away?” She asked, interrupting his thoughts.

“Ya, sure,” Joseph replied, a smile gracing his face. Maybe he would be able to get the ice cream into the freezer, at least.

“I hope when you get older, you still will like helping me out. Boys always seem to dump their mothers when they get older. Don’t want to be helpful.”

“Of course I’d help you out, mayko! Why wouldn’t I?” Was he supposed to change when he got older? He loved spending time with his mother. And he never minded helping. He didn’t understand why she would think that he would stop just because he grew.

“You know,” she started, “Ice cream melts if you leave it out of the freezer.”

Joseph froze and ever so slowly turned to face his mother’s amused face. Biting his lip, he replied “So I’ve heard…”

“And this here is quite a lot of sprinkles; not to mention these huge scoops of ice cream.”

“Um… ya…” He watched her as her little smile blossomed into a full bloom. He couldn’t help but smile with her.

“He can have this _after_ dinner,” she laughed as she placed the ice cream carefully in the freezer after covering it. “He’s had enough for the time being.”

“Jesus Christ, Joseph, did you get lost in the freezer or something?”

Joseph covered his face with his hands as his father suddenly halted half in and out of the backyard. His face showed his exhaustion even though his voice was pretty steady. But his breathing was getting heavier and there was a tinge of pain in his eyes. Facing the stairs was probably a huge endeavor and his painkillers were most likely wearing off.

And now, he had to face Joseph’s mother.

_This isn’t going to pretty…_

His mother stared in shock at his father standing there. As far as she knew, this whole time he was in bed or at least on the couch in their room. But no; he was right here in front of her. Standing.

Smiling sheepishly, his father said “Oh, hi…”

  

* * *

 

“…Vesela!” Ivo said, a stupid smile lighting up his handsome face.

She couldn’t believe it. He was so not getting that ice cream after dinner. No way in hell. She’d throw away the rest of his stupid sprinkles while she was at it. Vesela glanced over at Joseph who was covering his face with his hands. No wonder he didn’t want her home right now. He was in for it, too.

Looking back at Ivo, she haltingly uttered out “What. The. Freaking. Hell. Ivo.”

He slowly walked in and shut the door behind himself. She noticed the papers in his hand; Vesela knew for a fact that her father wasn’t allowing Ivo to work right now. Ivo didn’t get the papers from him. Venc was also officially in for it now.

“I’m pretty sure you didn’t answer my wonderful greeting,” he huffed out as he sat carefully on one of the couches, placing the papers on the side table.

“Are you serious?! Ivo, what the hell are you doing out of bed? Your injury isn’t a joke! You need rest, you have absolutely no reason to be up and walking around. Walking up and down flights of stairs! Are you stupid?!”

“You’re making this a bigge-”

“Shut up,” she interrupted. “This is a huge deal, okay? Its barely been two weeks! You could have died, you fucking idiot! You could still die!”

She watched as the expression on his face change. He had heard the worry break into her voice past all the anger and frustration. Getting up slowly and carefully, he trudged his way over to her. He looked like he was in a lot of pain. _Deserves it._

Finally reaching her, he put his arm around her waist and pulled her closer. He leaned down to her ear and whispered “I’m sorry.” Lightly kissing the tip of her ear, he muttered “But you can’t get rid of me that easily. I’m a tough bastard, you know.”

She hated how he always turned everything into a joke. How she could never hold her ground or her anger. She wished she knew how to hold a grudge against him. But she couldn’t; all he had to do was whisper something or hug her or kiss her and she’d take him back in a matter of seconds. He had her around his finger and he knew it.

And that bothered her even more.

Carefully shoving him away, she grabbed his face and said “If you ever get out of that bed again, I will personally murder you.”

He was about to kiss her wrists when she pulled herself away and walked over to Joseph. Kneeling in front of him, she grabbed his face to give him his bit. She read the worry in his eyes but she wasn’t angry at him, really. It’s not like there was anything he could have said or done to make Ivo stay in bed. But he could have told her; she was pretty sure this wasn’t the first time.

“Sweetheart, look at me please.” Vesela held his face but he diverted his eyes so he didn’t have to look at hers. “Baby, look.”

Biting his lip and flickering his gaze to her, he whispered “Yes, mayko?”

“Next time your father tries to get out of bed for anything besides the bathroom, hit him in the balls as punishment.”

“Excuse you! One time was enough for me, thank you.” Ivo cut in from behind.

Joseph’s face had lit up the minute she finished the sentence. He started to laugh and got even louder when his father had jumped in. She missed his laugh for the past months. It had graced its presence occasionally but she was always able to tell that it wasn’t the same one before the kidnapping.

This one was. And she couldn’t help but think how beautiful her baby’s laugh was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband


	30. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess what starts Sunday! If you guessed the 12 Days of Christmas, you are correct. So how's this affect y'all? It means you guys get a new chapter EVERY SINGLE DAY. For 12 days, my friends. Remember to add me into your wills. I love you all
> 
> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com) Prompt, request, chat, complain. It's all good
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> Bulg Music Rec:  
> Dali Tova Ljubov E by Kris-Ko

They went back to unpacking the groceries. His father limped his way back to the couch and ever so carefully stretched himself out, cursing and whining as he did. Joseph turned around as he felt a tap on his shoulder from his mother.

“Here, go give these to your bashtá,” she murmured, handing him two pills. She turned and handed him a glass of water, too.

Taking them from his mother, he walked over to his father who looked like he was trying to sleep. “Tatko?” he uttered.

“Mmm…”

“Here, take your medicine,” Joseph said. He watched as his father dragged himself into a semi-sitting position.

“Jesssuusss… Goddammit…”

“Maybe if you hadn’t been getting up all this time instead of _resting,_ ” His mother chimed from the kitchen while she opened and cleaned a chicken. Joseph once asked if they could buy one of the chickens that still had feathers on it – he wanted the chance to pluck them all. He had watched it on a documentary and was hoping to give it a shot.

She said no.

It actually was more along the lines of no way in hell. While she wasn’t grossed-out that she couldn’t touch raw meat, there was no way he was able to get her to buy the chicken. Too bad because he really wanted to try cleaning one.

Taking the glass from his father after he had finished, Joseph walked back over to the kitchen, placing the cup in the sink. Stepping back onto his stool, he continued emptying out the bags. He was surprised when he took out blocks and blocks of cream cheese.

“Mayko, why did you buy so much cream cheese? This seems kinda over the top. We don’t eat that much.”

She laughed as she bagged the chicken, throwing it into the freezer. “No, no we don’t. I thought I’d try making cheesecake. I got extra just in case I mess up.”

“Cheesecake?” he asked happily. “That’s great! Can I help?” It was his favorite dessert; it even came before ice cream.

“Of course!” She answered. “We’re going to keep trying until either it’s perfect or we run out of ingredients.” Standing next to him she took out boxes of graham crackers and a bulk pack of throw away pie tins. “But I bought tons, so we should be able to perfect it before that happens.”

“I call being official taste tester.” His father mumbled while raising his hand. Apparently, he was only fake sleeping.

Joseph decided to try everyone’s good moods. “I think,” he started slowly, “That’d be putting too much crap in your system, tatko.”

He felt his mother’s stare at his back and watched his father flick his eyes open, staring keenly at Joseph. Either he was about to be yelled at for being disrespectful and for using a word he wasn’t allowed or he would manage a laugh out of everyone.

Joseph was really hoping for the latter.

Ivo’s face broke out into a huge smile and he managed a laugh before he groaned in pain. “Jesus, brat. Hurt my stomach’s feelings why don’t you. You made it very unhappy.”

“Ow!” Joseph yelled as his mother lightly slapped him on the back of his head. He yelped more from surprise than pain.

“Use that word again, I’ll wash your mouth out with soap.”

Rubbing the back of his head, he murmured “Sorry, mayko.”

“It’s not that big of a deal, Vesela,” Ivo called.

“It is. He’s seven. Language like that doesn’t need to come out of his mouth.” She pointed a long finger in Joseph’s face, “Don’t pick up your bashtá’s bad habits. His mouth is filthy; don’t copy that.”

He heard a quiet murmur from the couch, “And yet you seem to love my amazing mouth anyways.”

“Shut up,” she called to him as she finished putting everything away. “So. Let’s get started, ya?”

“Oh, are we making it now?” Joseph asked.

“Unless your busy,” she said, eyebrow raised.

“Uh, not that I know of.”

“Good,” she nodded. “Let’s figure this jazz out.”

 

* * *

 

They sat in front of the oven, watching the cake bake. This was their fourth attempt and even Joseph’s father hoped this was the last. He was rethinking his official job after his stomach started to churn after the third slice. His mother had told him that he just had to take a bite, not eat the whole damn slice but he insisted. Joseph thought he was just using the opportunity to eat as much as sweets as possible before his wife decided he couldn’t have anymore.

It looked like it was baking well. And the color looked pretty. Joseph crossed his fingers this was the one. A thought suddenly occurred to him.

“Mayko, why are you trying to perfect a cheesecake anyways?”

Turning her head towards him, she replied “I can’t tell you. It would ruin the surprise.”

“That sentence alone ruined the surprise,” his father said as he made his way back from the restroom, leaning on anything and everything he passed. Joseph didn’t understand why he didn’t just go rest; he was being stubborn for no reason.

His mother rolled her eyes. “I’ll tell you if you really want but I think it’ll kill some of the enjoyment later on.”

Joseph bit his lip, thinking on his choices. Now or later. He was generally pretty patient but…

“Now’s good.”

Huffing, his mother muttered “Of course.” Raising her voice, she said “Well, I thought it’d be nice if I made you a cheesecake for your birthday instead of a cake. And I thought of just buying one, but I figured you would like it if I made it myself.”

Joseph blinked at his mother. “Really?” He hugged her tight, “You’re the best.”

She kissed his cheek while wrapping her own arms around him. “I guess it’s a winning idea, then? Hopefully my other one is too.”

He leaned back a bit so he could look at her face. “You can tell me that one, too.”

She laughed, “Ya, I bet you would like that. I thought that instead of some big party, it could just be me, you, that ass over there, and your dyádo. Maybe we should invite Emilio’s family too?”

His birthday was still a few days away but he had never felt such excitement. “Can we?!” He bounced up and down. “Please?”

“I don’t see why not? I think we’d all prefer them instead of your Tétka Nikol’s family?”

“Fuck, yes,” His father said emphatically.

“Great! I guess you’re not going to tell me what my present is, huh?”

Smiling, she answered “Actually, I don’t even know what it is. Your bashtá said he wanted to take care of it, so if you plan on digging that up… Good luck,” she laughed.

Joseph turned to look at his father’s stretched out form. He had to admit that he was surprised; it wasn’t like his father to want to do these things. Getting up from in front of the oven, he walked over to his father. He leaned over him, face to face. Biting his lip, he poked his father in the cheek.

“Hmm…”

“Um…Is it a nice present?”

An amused smirk developed on his face. “Do you think I’d get you a bad one?”

Gnawing his lip nervously, he replied “No…?”

One of his eyes popped open. “That sounded like a question.”

“Not that you would do it on purpose, just that maybe… it might not be a good idea?”

His smirk grew larger. “Trust me, it’s a fantastic idea.”

“But… you’ve been home for the past two weeks? How are you going to get me my present?”

“Details, details, Joseph. Don’t worry, I have it all worked out. Actually it was mayko that gave me the idea.”

“Did I?” his mother asked, surprise enveloping her tone. “I remember saying we need to think of something but I don’t remember suggesting anything.”

His father waved his hand dismissively. “I told you, it’s all worked out. Stop bugging.”

Both Joseph and his mother gazed at Ivo curiously. Shrugging his shoulders, Joseph said “Okay, I guess.”

The timer went off for the cheesecake. “Prayers this is the one!” His mother exclaimed.

“Oh God, I hope so,” his father muttered.

“You don’t have to keep eating, tatko.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, of course I do.”

Joseph shook his head. That didn’t even make sense. Walking back to the kitchen, he watched as his mother took out the cake.

And it looked amazing. He was sure this was the one.

He glanced at the door as the bell rang. His mother walked over and after peering through the hole, opened up to Venc.

“Hey, Vencislav!” She said cheerily. “How are you?”

He looked at her weird as he edged his way inside, trying to stuff the folder in his hand under his shirt as he went. “Hi, Lady Vesela… Um, I thought you were out?” He asked nervously. Venc paled when he noticed Joseph’s father on the couch.

“We got caught, Venc. You should run while you can. Hole up in the shitroom, maybe.” Ivo called.

He started to laugh nervously as Vesela closed the door. “For the record, I tried to stop him, I swear. You know he's a stubborn bastard.”

“Ass, don’t throw me under the bus.” His father muttered.

Joseph couldn’t help but laugh at Venc’s plight. His mother was smiling nastily, hands on her hips as she watched Venc slowly walk backwards towards Ivo.

“Oh, hey Joseph.”

“Hiya Venc. You wanna get invited to my birthday party?”

Venc smiled in his direction. “I’d love to! But that is assuming I live today.”

“Don’t be such a bitch, Venc,” Joseph’s father said as he very, very, very slowly sat up. “Take it like a man.” He stretched out his hand for the papers.

“Um, Lady Vesela?”

“Yes, Venc?” She answered sweetly as she walked closer.

“Can I just grovel for forgiveness and we’ll call it good?”

“Ladies love a groveler,” his father mumbled as he looked over the papers from the folder while adding his old ones in.

“Grovel for forgiveness, huh?” She tapped her chin as though she was actually thinking. “I suppose…”

Venc sighed with relief.

“BUT,” she continued.

Venc squealed at that. His mother finished her thought.

“But it’s also going to cost you some of your grandmother’s cooking. Her food is amazing.”

He blew out another sigh of relief. “I can totally manage that,” he said as he nodded. “No problem, my lady.”

His mother laughed. “Don’t worry, Venc, I won’t murder you yet. You haven’t even had a girlfriend yet. You have to at least get that opportunity first.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband


	31. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the 12 Days of Christmas has begun! I hope all of you guys have wonderful holidays!
> 
> Questions, suggestions, prompts, requests, or complaints [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)  
> I actually did a trc secret santa thing this year if you guys wanna see the gift I drew, it's on my tumblr. I'm super proud of it and it has to do with Kavinsky if that's an incentive to any of you to take a look.
> 
> Oh I almost forgot... So I'm really really curious on how many of you guys like Emilio? I know for a fact three ppl do (counting myself. He's my adorable sweet cinna roll) and that two ppl don't (extremely). I've no clue about the rest of you because you guys are sooo quiet (seriously talk guys. Your silence is nerve wrecking) Maybe if you guys could just comment your opinion on him? Even if its just idk a heart emoji or a mad one because he pisses you off, I'm dying to know.
> 
> Bulg Song Rec:  
> Nazdrave by Kris-ko (it's explicit, you've been warned)

Joseph watched as his mother cut four slices of cheesecake after it had cooled. It looked so perfect. This had to be the winner.

“Here, go give these to your bashtá and Venc,” his mother said, pushing two plates and forks towards him. Taking the plates, he walked over to the men – well, man and boy. Technically, Venc wasn’t a man yet. He placed them on the coffee table and leaned over Venc’s shoulder to look at the papers he was reading.

“Excuse you,” his father said, raising an eyebrow.

“I was just-”

“Looking?” he finished. “And looking over a shoulder is a lot like…”

“Eavesdropping,” Joseph ended the sentence. Sighing, he grabbed his father’s plate and fork and handed it to him. “Taste. Me and mayko think this is the one.”

Putting his papers down, he took the sweet from Joseph’s hands. Joseph watched as his father cut a piece and tasted it.

Swallowing, his father glanced at Joseph then at his mother in the kitchen. “Vesela,” he said.

She flicked her gaze over to him, eyes lit with curiosity.

“This,” he gestured to his slice, “is beyond fucking amazing.”

A smile lit her and Joseph’s faces. “I think we found our winner!” She exclaimed happily.

Venc quickly reached for his slice and shoved a bite into his mouth, closing his eyes as he relished the taste. “Holy crap, this so good!”

“You’re so fucking dramatic.” Ivo muttered.

“If my wife baked and cooked the way Lady Vesela did, I’d be even more dramatic to show how much I appreciate her.”

“Your wife’s going to love you Vencislav. She will be the luckiest lady ever.” Joseph’s mother called as she took the first bite of her slice.

Joseph walked back to enjoy his own slice as his father said “You don’t even have a girlfriend yet not to already be dreaming of your wife’s cooking.”

Venc’s cheeks heated. “Well… no but… I’m sure that when the time comes around, she will be amazing.”

“Get the nerve to talk to a girl first.” His father mumbled around a bite of cake.

Venc turned even redder. He looked down at his slice and acted as though it was the most interesting thing in the world.

“Leave him alone Ivo. He’s such a catch any girl would die to have him.”

Joseph was amazed how red skin could get. Venc mumbled “Thanks, Lady Vesela,” and tried his best just to focus on his diminishing slice.

He pondered as he enjoyed the most amazing slice of cheesecake he ever had. _Way better than a birthday cake could ever be._ He had only just finished second grade, but he did notice how a lot of the boys were already trying to impress the girls and the girls the boys. Joseph wondered why he didn’t try impressing anyone. He didn’t really care if any of the girls thought he was cool or cute.

Maybe he wasn’t mature enough yet? He always thought of himself as pretty mature in things but maybe this wasn’t one of them. Maybe he wasn’t ready.

Or maybe it was because he wanted the boys to think he was cool.

But that was because he wanted friends, not anything else. _Probably._ Boys couldn’t like boys could they? That’s what girls were around for, wasn’t it? He never heard anyone around him mentioning anything about a guy having a boyfriend or husband.

It was probably because that’s not how it was supposed to be.

Which meant that the reason Joseph didn’t look at the girls yet was because he wasn’t ready. He just didn’t see them that way yet. But he would in time, just like Venc and just like his father.

Probably.

He started when his mother poked him in the forehead. “Where’s your brain off to, sweetheart? I’ve been talking to you.”

He looked up at her. Joseph wanted to ask about his thoughts but something inside told him not to. Especially not with his father sitting.

“Nothing,” he said shrugging. “I wasn’t paying attention, I’m sorry. What were you saying?”

She examined him carefully, face full of _knowing._ She knew he was lying. He wished he was a fantastic liar like Andrey. That was the only thing he wanted in common with his horrible cousin.

“I was saying that you should call Emilio later and invite him. And when you’re done talking ask for his mother and let me talk to her so I can invite the family over.”

His face broke into excitement. “Okay! But when am I inviting him for, exactly?”

She leaned on her elbow which was placed on the island, head in her hand, thinking. Her hair was falling into her face and she had washed off the makeup before they started baking. Joseph always thought she looked more beautiful and sweeter when she was a mess. He liked her better without all the makeup. His father would often say that too; he would kiss her lips and then whisper “You’re beautiful without all this crap on your face.”

Both a compliment and an insult, in a way. It was his father’s style; lift you up but add some biting comment hidden in between. His mother would always blush, then wash off most what she had spent a couple hours doing.

“Well, your birthday hits Friday. There’s no school to worry about now… Maybe at noon on Friday? They can have lunch and are more than welcome to stay for dinner if they would like. They kind of lost out on that last time.”

“Sounds great, mayko!” It was only four days away and he couldn’t wait any longer now. He actually had a friend to invite to his birthday. This was probably going to be one of the best ever.

His father scrunched his nose as he spoke. “That sounds like a really long time, Vesela. I don’t know if I can last that long.”

Joseph examined his father’s tired face and slightly pale skin. He wasn’t too sure either if his father would be able to take that long without rest or groaning in pain. Or reaching some point of exhaustion.

“W-we don’t have to invite them if you don’t think you’re up to it, tatko,” he said sullenly, looking down at his empty plate. He could feel tears prickling in the corner of his eyes. _Oh, God, that’s all I need right now. Don’t cry, don’t cry…_

Everyone was quiet and Joseph was pretty sure they were staring at him. He could feel the burn of gazes. He heard someone moving and walking over to him. Joseph was shocked when his father wrapped his arms around him, hugging him from behind. He leaned his head around Joseph’s and looked him the face, trying to catch his eyes.

Joseph prayed he wouldn’t see the seedlings of tears trying to sprout and grow.

His father kissed his cheek and murmured “I think if I down enough of those painkillers, I’ll be good to go. I may fuck up a lot of things, Joseph, but I’m not going to screw up your birthday. It’s your day, not mine.” Joseph felt him smirk against his cheek, “I can have the rest of the days.”

Joseph laughed, rubbing his idiotic tears out of his eyes. “Thanks, tatko. But I don’t think it’s fair if you take all the days. Mayko deserves some too.”

Laughing, his mother replied “Thank you, baby, for not being a typical selfish man like your father. I appreciate it.”

“Hey!” Venc cried. “Not all men are selfish like him.” He paled then, looking over at Joseph’s father. “Uh, no offense, my lord.”

His father shook his head in mock despair. “My terrible family; always being mean to my poor injured and abused being.” He straightened, but still stood behind Joseph, holding him close.

Joseph looked up into his father’s face. “I think you might be learning being dramatic from Venc.”

Rolling his eyes, he replied “Puh-lease. I bring my own drama. Don’t need Vencislav over there to teach me anything. I’m too fucking amazing to be taught. I know everything.”

They all laughed, the mood of the house igniting back to joy. Joseph couldn’t wait for his birthday. He just knew it was going to be one of the best ones ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband


	32. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Requests, suggestions, just plain old talking [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)  
> Thanks to all my readers and my beta! (I'm still looking for another if anyone's interested)  
> Enjoy!
> 
> Bulg Music Rec:  
> Vdigam Level by Pavell & Venci Venc' ft. Kristian Kostov

He couldn’t stop bouncing. Since the morning, he just continued to bounce and bounce and bounce. He was just so excited for today.

So he continued to bounce.

“Joseph, stop please,” His mother huffed. “I get you’re excited but seriously stop bouncing.”

He smiled big and decided that since it was his birthday, he was allowed to push his luck. Halting his bouncing, he walked over and stood next to his mother who was preparing lunch. Joseph looked up at her and smiled.

She smiled back, eyebrow raised, already expecting something.

And he bounced. Right next to her.

Putting her hand atop his head, she pushed him down the next time he jumped – dropping him onto his butt.

Laughing, she breathed out “Got you! I told you stop bouncing!”

Looking up at her from the floor, Joseph smiled and caught her laughter. He just knew this day was going to be fantastic.

He jumped up when the doorbell rang. It was still a little early for Emilio’s family to show, so it was either his grandfather or Venc. Racing to the door, he shouted “Who is it?”

“Me, my dear vnuk. Open up.”

Quickly unlocking the door, he opened up to his bear of a grandfather. He was tall like Joseph’s father, but he was far more broad, so he looked way bigger. “Dyádo!” he shouted with glee.

Walking in and shutting the door behind himself, his grandfather placed the bag he held on the floor and crouched to Joseph’s height, holding open his arms. “My dear vnuk.”

Joseph threw himself into his grandfather’s embrace, kissing him on the cheek. “Thank you for coming, dyádo,” he mumbled into his shoulder.

“Ah, Joseph, I wouldn’t miss your birthday for anything.”

“Nothing at all?” Joseph asked, leaning back slightly to look at his grandfather. “Even if Andrey had something super important too?”

His grandfather laughed his hearty wonderful laugh. “Even if Andrey had something too, I would come to you first.”

Hugging him again, Joseph replied “You’re the best.”

“Whoa, whoa. That’s kind of my title, thank you.”

Joseph laughed as he turned to see his father very slowly walk towards them. He looked exhausted already and all he had done so far was shower and dress into black jeans and a button-up. He hadn’t taken his painkillers yet, so Joseph hoped that when he did, he would look a little better.

Finally reaching them, his father dragged Joseph away from his grandfather and hugged him close. Lopsided on account of his wound, but close nonetheless.

“Happy birthday, brat,” his father said into his hair, kissing the top of his head. “And many more to come.”

“Thank you, tatko,” he murmured into his side, hugging him as best as he could manage. Joseph was afraid he would hurt him. One time he had hugged him on the wrong side and had actual hurt him. Joseph still felt guilty for that.

“And now back to who’s the best, it’s obvious I am,” his father pointed a finger at Timotei. “Don’t jack my title, thank you.”

Shaking his head as he stood, Joseph’s grandfather replied “Why must everything be competition with you, Ivo? Always, you must make things complicated or hard.”

Laughing, Joseph said “Because he’s too f-ing amazing, dyádo!”

His father tried not to laugh, it looked like it hurt every time he did. Smirking down at Joseph, he mumbled “Mocking brat.”

Joseph noticed his grandfather didn’t like the joke; he looked at Ivo with disgust. “That is what you teach a young boy? Filthy language? I’ve told you many times over to not say such things in front of him.”

His father simply rolled his eyes, the humor still alight on his face.

Tilting his head curiously, Joseph said “But dyádo, I didn’t say the word. That’s a really bad word. I’d never ever say that.”

“But you implied the word, Joseph, which to me is just as bad. And I hope you will not be like your father in this matter. This type of language isn’t necessary, ever. You can easily say the same exact sentences without such words.”

Biting his lip, Joseph replied “Sorry, dyádo. I didn’t mean anything by it. I was just making a joke.”

“I appreciate the apology, Joseph. Thank you.” Shaking his head as though he was clearing it, his tone became much lighter. “Now how about we enjoy ourselves. One should not be sad on their birthday.”

“It’s your fault,” his father uttered under his breath. His grandfather casted Ivo a nasty look but picked up his bag and walked over to the kitchen.

“Vesela?” he called, when he didn’t find her.

“She went to get ready,” his father said as they walked over to sit in the living room.

His grandfather placed the bag on the dining table and walked over to sit with them. Joseph looked at the bag curiously, dying to open it. “Guess I can’t open that now?”

Chuckling, his grandfather answered “No, not quite yet, Joseph. Have you already opened presents from your parents?”

Joseph shook his head, huffing as he did. “I can’t find them. I’ve looked everywhere!”

He really had looked everywhere; well, he felt like he looked everywhere. Joseph had been searching the house since he found out his father wanted to take care of the presents. His father had obviously never left the house and every time his mother did, Joseph checked what she was carrying. He even checked both their cars. He even went as far as subjecting Venc to body searches every time he came over.

Joseph was out of ideas.

“Trying to sneak peeks, brat?” His father shook his head in mock disappointment. “For shame, child, for shame. And you obviously haven’t looked everywhere or else you would have found them.”

Huffing once more, Joseph looked into his father’s face. “I don’t mind if the surprise is ruined, tatko.”

He smiled and replied “Trust me on this one – you really are going to get the best present ever. It's definitely worth the suspense.”

“Uhhh…” Joseph groaned, placing his face into his hands. “I can’t take it if you keep teasing.”

“What are we teasing about?” His mother asked as she walked down the stairs, dressed simple with her hair in a ponytail and ready for her guests.

“My presents…” he mumbled into his hands.

“Oh, ya, you don’t get to see those yet. But you’re going to absolutely love it!” She promised happily.

Joseph slid himself onto the floor, splaying out as he did and pressed his face into the fancy carpet. “I can’t take it. You guys have killed me”

His grandfather poked him with his toe, “Don’t be impatient, vnuk. The surprise will be worth it in the end.”

Picking up his head, he stared critically at his grandfather, eyes narrowed. “Do you know what they are?”

“No, I’m afraid not, Joseph. But if they both say they’re fantastic, then they are fantastic.” He said, a toothy smile on his face.

“Uhhh…” He dropped his face back into the carpet.

“Maybe it’s a family thing. Or people who come into contact with this family.” His father said.

“What is?” Joseph mumbled into the carpet. He never realized how soft it was before. Or how nice it smelled. He should stick his face in it more often.

“Being so God fuck dramatic.”

He broke into laughter. Lifting his head to look at his father, he said “I think me and Venc got it from you, tatko.”

“Pft… Why can’t you people pick up my good habits?”

“At least you admit it’s your fault,” his mother laughed. She came walking over and handed his father his medicine. “Enjoy.”

Grimacing, his father took what was offered and downed four pills with his water. Joseph was amazed his father could take them all in one go – it took a while before Joseph could even master one – and he also felt like that was maybe one pill too many. So did his grandfather.

“How many did you just take, Ivo? You can kill yourself with those.”

“Three 800’s and one antibiotic. And I’ll survive, I’ve done it before. Thanks for the concern, tust.”

His grandfather looked as though he was going to say more when he was interrupted by the doorbell. Joseph jumped onto his feet in excitement and ran for the door. “If you slip on the tile, it’s your fault!” his mother called after him.

Joseph just rolled his eyes. He had only slipped once and after that she never let it go. He had been running to the backyard after grabbing something from his room and slipped on account of his socks. Slamming down on the tile was extremely painful. And just like with everything else, his mother never got over reminding him about it.

He pulled open the door and was met with a smiling Venc and Emilio and his family behind him. “Happy birthday, Joseph!” Venc shouted happily, while dragging him into a hug. “And many more to come!”

His own smile glued to his face, he hugged back. “Thank you, Venc!” Looking over at his other guests, Joseph invited them in.

“Happy birthday!” Emilio said as he also hugged Joseph. “Today’s going to be so much fun!” He pointed to his father, who Joseph hadn’t met yet. He generally tried to avoid older men nowadays. “This is my dad,” Emilio’s father smiled, “and those,” he pointed his fingers at his sisters, “are my annoying sisters.”

“Hey!” They all shouted at once. Joseph and Emilio broke into laughter.

The taller one of them with a head full of dark curls walked closer and introduced herself. “I’m Maria and that’s Alicia and Linda.” She pointed to each girl in turn – the first with frizzy waves pulled into a high ponytail and huge dimples and the other with her lighter brown hair to her shoulders, flicking glances at Venc. Maria smiled broad. “Happy birthday, by the way!”

“Thank you!”

“Such lovely ladies,” his mother said as she walked up to them. “Claudia! How are you and the baby?”

Holding her stomach, Mrs. Vidal answered “Not too bad. Although the kicking has arrived.”

Joseph looked at Mrs. Vidal’s glowing face. She was fuller than his mother even when she wasn’t pregnant from the pictures Emilio had showed him from when they lived in Connecticut. But Joseph still thought she was just as pretty as his mother. He didn’t understand those people who made fun of fuller ladies – they were beautiful the way they were. Mrs. Vidal and her bright brown eyes and her long braid of brown hair was an example of that. Her smile alone was prettier than some of those other people.

His mother laughed. “Definitely don’t miss that.” She looked to Mr. Vidal. He was shorter than Joseph’s father but Joseph was sure that didn’t count for anything in Mr. Vidal’s book. He looked like he had a lot of muscle built up under his clothing. Joseph couldn’t help but think he was handsome with his sharp features. “Nice to finally meet you in person, Mr. Vidal.” She stuck out her hand in greeting.

“The pleasure is mine, Mrs. Kavinsky. And Raul, please.” He replied with a smile, taking her hand. “And Mr. Kavinsky?” Mr. Vidal said as he stuck out his hand to Joseph’s father who had eventually arrived. Joseph didn’t think the pills had kicked in yet.

“That’s right,” his father acknowledged, shaking Mr. Vidal’s hand. “Nice to meet you. Ivo is fine, by the way. Come in and sit, we shouldn’t keep you at the door.”

Joseph watched the Vidal family’s expressions as they looked around the house as they walked to the living room. Awe filled their eyes, probably because of how large the house was. Emilio told him that they lived in a small three-bedroom apartment.

“I have to say, your house is stunning,” Mr. Vidal mentioned.

His father smiled – covering his grimace of pain as he sat – and replied with a thanks.

His grandfather stood and introduced himself to the Vidals. “Timotei Dobrev, Joseph’s grandfather.”

Joseph and Emilio sat on the floor next to the couches. They could play in a bit – Joseph wanted to hear their introductions conversation. Also, he noticed the way Emilio kept glancing at Joseph’s father; probably wondering how he was doing.

Joseph’s mother pointed at Venc, who was sitting on the floor next to Joseph’s father. “I’m upset with you.”

His father smirked. “Jesus, Venc, what’d you do this time?” His grandfather gave Ivo a nasty look.

Venc had paled when Joseph’s mother had spoken. He looked closely at her. “I’ve no idea? Um… what did I do, exactly?”

Smiling brightly, she replied “You should have brought your grandmother and sister, stupid. How’s it fair that you get to stuff your face while they’re home?”

They laughed at the relief that overcame Venc’s worry. “My apologies. You’re right I should have told them to come with me.” He laughed. “And here I thought I’d have to grovel for forgiveness again.”

“Aw, did I miss that?” Emilio interrupted.

“You shoulda seen him, begging on his knees,” Joseph giggled.

“Aw! I would’ve loved to see that!”

Venc rolled his eyes. “You’re both not funny. I do what’s necessary to survive. Groveling is sometimes required when you piss off ladies.”

“Vencislav,” his grandfather uttered.

“Mm?”

“Watch your language, please.” He said in Bulgarian. “Do not pick up his bad habits.”

Joseph’s father held his side as he laughed. Emilio’s family looked between them curiously, confused on what was being said. Joseph wondered if he should explain. But his father beat him to it.

“Timotei here, was telling Venc not to pick up my bad habits,” he explained.

“And which would that be?” Mr. Vidal asked curiously. Joseph had noticed when his face had turned when Joseph’s father had said Jesus and Venc said piss. He was pretty sure he had the same principles as his grandfather on a few things. Joseph thought that maybe Mr. Vidal wouldn’t like his father.

“Cursing,” his father replied with a smile. “I, according to some people, have a very nasty mouth.” Something told Joseph that his father wasn’t going to like Mr. Vidal either.

“Ah,” Mr. Vidal nodded. “I also don’t like such things. I find foul language to be unnecessary.”

His father’s smile grew broader but anyone who knew him knew he was annoyed and not smiling from joy or amusement. “What do you do, Raul?” He inquired.

“I’m a detective for the Hoboken Police Department.” Joseph noticed that way his family’s faces became expressionless. His father had no emotion on his face but Joseph could tell he was sizing up Mr. Vidal carefully.

“Whoa! Really?” Joseph asked. “Can you give tours of the police station? I always wanted to see one!”

Turning to face Joseph, Mr. Vidal smiled “You’re welcome anytime! I’d love to show you around.”

“Thank you so much! I can’t wait!”

“Emilio said you were a businessman? Insurance of some sort?” Mr. Vidal turned back towards Joseph’s father.

Hs mother tapped Joseph’s shoulder from where she was sitting on the couch next to him. “Why don’t you guys go enjoy yourselves? I call you for lunch in a bit.”

Shrugging, they both got up and went to enjoy the day, with Emilio’s sister behind them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband


	33. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Requests, prompts, chatting or questions [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)  
> Enjoy!
> 
> Bulg Music Rec:  
> 24/7 Plamen I Ivo

“Uno!” Emilio shouted with glee.

“Not again!” Maria complained. “How do you do it every time?”

“This is only my third time,” he uttered, sticking out his tongue at her. “Deal with it and stop complaining.”

“Hmm… well how about Uno!” Joseph shouted as he placed a card down. “And bam!” He slammed his last card on the deck. “I win!” He laughed with happiness. “In your faces!”

“Aw…” They all uttered with disappointment.

They were waiting for his mother to call them. She hadn’t called them down for lunch yet and he wondered how everyone was getting along.

He was also starting to get hungry.

“Again or do you guys want to play something else?” Alicia asked.

“Guys! Lunch!” They heard Venc shout up the stairs.

“Coming!” Everyone shouted at once. Jumping up, the girls ran out of Joseph’s room to go enjoy lunch. Joseph got up to go follow when Emilio stopped him with a hand on his shoulder.

“What’s up?” Joseph inquired.

Shrugging, Emilio tilted his head curiously. “Your dad looks better. I’m surprised he got better so fast.”

Joseph huffed in amusement. “He’s not better yet. And he looks okay now because all those painkillers he took eventually kicked in. You should have seen him a little before you guys showed up. He was barely standing; he gets really tired from the stairs.”

“So… he’s not okay?”

Thinking, Joseph replied “He would be better a lot faster if he would just stop moving so much. But I guess because he does move so much, he will end up alright.” He shrugged then. “But he also could make himself worse from moving… so I guess I don’t actually have a good answer.”

“Do you think it would be okay if I asked him?” Emilio asked nervously. “I’m really curious and I actually kind of want to see how it’s healing.”

“I don’t think he’ll show it to you but if you ask him in private he’ll probably answer how he’s doing.”

“Hmm… okay.”

“Do you guys plan on coming down soon? I’m starving and it smells so good!” Venc said, popping into the doorway.

“I doubt you’re _starving_ ,” Joseph laughed.

“Ya, didn’t you have breakfast?” Emilio asked.

“Actually, no,” Venc replied. “I saved all my stomach space for Lady Vesela’s cooking. It’s so damn delicious.”

“Even better than your bába's?” Joseph inquired.

Venc made a thoughtful face, rubbing his mouth in thought. “I’m going to call it a tie. That way I don’t insult anyone.”

“Genius, is what you are Venc,” Emilio said while shaking his head, in what Joseph thought, was mock admiration.

Rolling his eyes, Venc grabbed both of them and shoved them out the door in front of him. “Let’s go. I’m seriously dying to eat right now.”

Bouncing down the stairs, Joseph’s nose filled with the delicious smell of his mother’s cooking. And it looked absolutely delicious spread out on the dining table. “Mayko, this looks fantastic!” He said jumping up and down.

Her face brightened. “Thank you, baby. I hope you enjoy it!”

“I know I will!” Emilio delighted, huge grin alive on his face.

They sat down, everyone excited to dig in. After everyone finally had food in their plates, Joseph began his delightful descent into the bliss that was his mother’s amazing cooking.

Joseph watched as everyone started their own little conversations around the table, filling the silence. He enjoyed more listening and observing rather than being in one himself. Plus, he had his plate to focus on. Watching Mr. Vidal, Joseph wondered how him and his father had gotten along after they had gone upstairs. To him, they seemed a lot like opposites. Which was probably why Mr. Vidal was talking with Joseph’s grandfather rather than his father.

Looking at his father’s plate, he wasn’t surprised by how little was in it. His appetite wasn’t that great since he had been hurt and all the junk food he snuck in behind Joseph’s mother’s back didn’t help all that much. Lifting his head, his father’s eyes caught his own. His father raised his eyebrow in question.

Subtly shrugging, Joseph went back to his food. He didn’t want to eat too much; he needed to save space for a slice of cheesecake. Maybe two. Finishing his plate, he looked around him to see where everyone was at with their own. Mostly, everyone was done. Except Emilio; he was enjoying his second plate.

As he was looking around, Mrs. Vidal caught his gaze with hers and smiled. Smiling back, he thought about her having a baby. About her having so many kids in general, actually. Joseph kind of wanted a sibling but he didn’t know if he would be able to handle so many like Emilio did. He knew for a fact that his parents wouldn’t be able to put up with more kids – they never even wanted Joseph as it was.

Joseph never thought of himself as a difficult kid; he was nothing like Andrey. But for some reason, Andrey’s parents were more than happy to put up with him; Joseph’s barely put up with him when he wasn’t even doing anything.

Sometimes, he felt like that they just got annoyed by looking at him. And he was just one child. So how come Mrs. Vidal never seemed like she got frustrated or angry from her kids? She had four and yet she never seemed tired of putting up with them. He was pretty sure she didn’t even think of them in that way; she probably enjoyed every second with them – even when they were annoying or troublesome.

There were days when Joseph was sure that his parents wished he wasn’t around. One child and they were tired of him. Why didn’t Mrs. Vidal get tired?

It didn’t make sense.

“Mrs. Vidal? Can I ask you something?”

Voice filled with amusement, she agreed to his questioning.

Biting his lip, he suddenly thought that maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. Or at least, not in front of everyone. He shook his head, changing his mind. “Nevermind, actually”

She looked at him, smile still upon her face but eyes filled with examination. She studied him closely and carefully. “Are you sure? You can ask anything you like.”

“I’m sure. Thank you though.” Maybe he would try again later, when there wasn’t everyone sitting. When his parents weren’t watching and listening. They were smart; they would know why he was asking.

When everyone finally finished, his mother got up. “You guys go play while we clean up. Then dessert!” She looked towards her father, “You’re going to love it, tate. Joseph and I learned how to perfect an amazing cheesecake a few days ago. So, I made a few yesterday instead of having a cake.”

“Oh? I can’t wait then.” He turned to Joseph, “Why did I not know you are a baker, vnuk?”

Joseph laughed. “I’m hardly a baker, dyádo. I just helped with the measuring and mixing. Mayko was the one who figured it out.”

“Hey, hey. I think I deserve a little credit,” his father cut in.

Emilio stared in disbelief at Joseph’s father. “You don’t look like you bake, Mr. Kavinsky.”

Mrs. Vidal agreed. “I’m going to have to agree with Emilio on this one. You don’t seem the baker type, Ivo.”

Smiling, his father replied “No, I’m not.”

Linda stared at him in confusion. “Then… why do you deserve credit?”

“Because I was the official taste tester,” he stated. “I signed off on the taste.”

It even got a small chuckle from Mr. Vidal. “Yes, I suppose credit is due for that. It’s a job I enjoy too.”

“Wait, wait,” Venc interrupted. “How many did you get to enjoy before I showed up? Because I only had one slice and that would be totally unfair if you got more.”

“Life’s unfair, asshole,” his father replied. “Deal with it. And for that matter, it’s actually entirely fair being that the amazing bakers are my wife and son.” He finished his speech with flipping off Venc and a “So suck it fucker.”

The Vidal children and Joseph broke into a raucous laughter. Mrs. Vidal tried her best to hide her smile on account of the fact of the extreme displeasure written on Mr. Vidal’s face. Venc _was_ laughing, until he saw how angry Joseph’s grandfather was.

Joseph’s mother looked both mortified and amused. “Ivo!” she whisper shouted.

He looked over at her, raising an eyebrow in questioning. “What?”

Clearing his throat, Mr. Vidal cut through the laughter. “If it is within you, _Ivo_ ,” he said with slight distaste, “Please refrain from using such language in front of my children. I’d truly appreciate it.”

Joseph’s father smiled sarcastically at Mr. Vidal. “I’ll try my hardest but no guarantees.”

Joseph covered his face with his hands. _Emilio’s probably never going to be allowed to come over anymore…_

“It really isn’t that difficult. I’m sure an intelligent man like yourself can figure it out.”

His father looked ready with what was probably another sarcastic reply but his mother interrupted as quick as she could. “How about we just have dessert first? We can clean after.”

“Sounds like a wonderful idea, Vesela!” Mrs. Vidal jumped in, probably sensing the tension between their husbands. “Let me help!”

“No, it’s alright! I’ll just bring them to the table and we can cut and serve here. No need to waste any time!” Joseph figured she wanted to keep her husband’s mouth closed as long as she could.

“Dessert is good!” Joseph helped. “I’ll get to open my presents faster that way.” He turned to Emilio beside him, “My dad has been teasing about my gift and it’s driving me crazy. Mayko won’t tell either.”

“Where’s the fun in ruining a surprise?” His father asked.

“I already told you I don’t mind…”

“You can tell me Mr. Kavinsky. I won’t tell Joseph,” Emilio promised.

“Hey!” Joseph huffed indignantly.

Giving a small laugh, his father slowly said “Sorry, you don’t get to know either.”

Joseph looked closely at his father. He both didn’t sound good or look so great. He was sweating a little and he looked pale and a little off. Joseph wondered why; his father had down pills so he shouldn’t be feeling pain. Maybe he wasn’t in pain and it was something else?

He wasn’t the only one who apparently noticed.

“You don’t look well; are you alright?” His grandfather quietly asked in Bulgarian, his former anger evaporating and forming into concern.

His father breathed carefully, trying to steady himself. “A little nauseas, is all,” he answered back. It looked like it bothered him just to breathe. Switching to English, he addressed the table, “Excuse me a moment.” Pushing out of his chair slowly, he walked as well as he could manage without it looking like he was out of it. Joseph was surprised when, instead of going to the bathroom downstairs, he headed up. Probably to his room.

“Cake’s arrived!” His mother chimed, placing them on the table. She had made three, just in case. Joseph wasn’t going to make an argument there. Mrs. Vidal came behind her with plates and forks.

Glancing around the table, his mother asked “Where’s Ivo?”

“He went to the bathroom,” Joseph supplied. “I’ll call him.”

Standing up and going after telling them not to start without him, Joseph made his way down the upstairs hall to his father’s room. Knocking, he waited for an answer but got none. He decided just to walk in and hope for the best.

His eyes caught sight of his father splayed out on the bed. “I didn’t say come in.”

“Sorry,” he said as he walked over to him. Looking down at him, he asked “Are you okay?”

“Just need to rest my stomach for a bit,” he murmured, eyes still closed.

“We’re gonna have dessert.”

“Go ahead.”

“B-but I want you with us.”

“World’s not over if I don’t eat cheesecake, Joseph.”

“Well… no but it’s my birthday-”

“I’m aware,” he interrupted.

“I-I know that. I’m just saying that it’s better if you’re sitting with us.”

“I’ll be down eventually. Go eat.”

Joseph wasn’t sure if maybe he was making this a bigger deal than it actually was but he really wanted his father with them. It didn’t seem like a birthday without his father. Especially when he wasn’t even busy; he was just stretched out upstairs. He could feel the tears welling in his eyes.

“Tatko,” he whispered. He could hear how the tears were filling the sound of his voice. “I’d really like it if you came for dessert. It’s not a good birthday without you.” He bit his lip, nervous with what he was about to say. “You promised not to fuck this up. Well, if you stay up here then you’re gonna fuck it up.”

And with that he walked out of the room, letting his father decide what he was going to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband


	34. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A very special shoutout to Hatty Hattington and BSymph because your guys' comments always brighten my days!  
> Requests, prompts, chatting or questions [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)  
> Enjoy!
> 
> Bulg Music Rec:  
> Drop Some by Krisko

_“You promised not to fuck this up. Well, if you stay up here then you’re gonna fuck it up.”_

Ivo stared up at the ceiling. Normally, he would have punished Joseph for his language and disrespect but what he had said and his abrupt exit had struck Ivo into silence. He didn’t want to ruin Joseph’s day but at this moment in time he legitimately felt like shit. His insides were burning like hell and he felt like he wanted to throw up.

He had actually tried but nothing would come up and dry heaving made his pain worse. Laying down had helped a little. The storm had calmed but Ivo was pretty sure if he got up, it would come back with a vengeance.

But he had no intentions of fucking up.

 

* * *

 

 “…to you!” They all sang. His mother had asked if he wanted candles in his cheesecake but he told her not to worry about. It’s not like the wishes ever came true anyways – he’s tried before.

Smiling, he thanked them. Joseph wasn’t really that happy though; he had really thought that what he had said to his father would actually get him up.

But it didn’t. Or at least not yet.

Sitting down, they started their cheesecakes, everyone making noises of delight.

“Oh my gosh, Vesela, you have to teach me how to make this! It’s amazing!” Mrs. Vidal said in awe.

“Thank you! I definitely will.”

“Jesus, you guys started without me? You could’ve waited a little.”

Joseph turned to find his father coming over to them. Joseph couldn’t have been happier and the look on his face expressed it all.

Coming up behind him, his father wrapped his arms around Joseph, kissing the side of his head. Kissing his father back, he replied “Actually we waited but then mayko said you were taking too long.”

“Mmm… I see.”

Joseph was surprised when his father didn’t go and sit but rather stayed hugging him. Cutting off a bite of his cheesecake, he raised it to his father. “Taste? It’s even more delicious than the one we made a few days ago.”

“Really?” Opening his mouth, his father took the bite and swallowed.

“Well?” His mother asked, with her ever raised eyebrow of questions.

His father smiled up to her. “Absolutely delicious.”

Her beautiful smile bloomed. Joseph noticed that she would get happy from any compliment from his father, even if it was the tiniest ever. They always made her happy. There were times when Joseph wished he could make her smile that easy. Getting smiles from her took a bit of work on his part sometimes.

“Lady Vesela? Can I have another slice, please?” Asked Venc, eyes full of hope.

“Me too!” Emilio called.

“Manners, hijo,” Mr. Vidal chimed.

“Please!” Emilio added.

His mother held out her hands. “Of course! Here let me have your plates.”

“What does hijo mean?” Joseph wondered.

“Son in Spanish,” his father rumbled by his ear.

Emilio looked at Joseph’s father. “Do you speak Spanish, Mr. Kavinsky?”

Placing his head atop Joseph’s, he answered “Kind of. I can understand well enough but my speech isn’t that fluent.”

“Wow, so you speak three languages?” Alicia asked in amazement.

“Technically… like four? Fluent Bulgarian and English. Pretty okay Spanish, Italian, and Russian. Adding them up equals four – possibly three and half actually. Three and three-quarters? I sound like an idiot when I speak them, but I mostly learned to understand people, not to have conversations.”

Emilio’s eyes were huge with admiration. “Whoa… you’re like the coolest, Mr. Kavinsky.”

Smirking, his father said “No duh.”

Joseph’s grandfather shook his head. “Might you learn some modestly, Ivo? Possibly some graciousness?”

His father took another bite of cake that was offered. “No.”

Joseph stifled a giggled but his grandfather picked up on it anyways. “Do not-”

“Pick up his bad habits. I know, dyádo” Joseph finished. “Mayko?”

“Yes, baby?” she mumbled around her bite of cheesecake.

“Can I open my gifts now?”

“Guess you won’t survive for a little longer?”

He shook his head vehemently. “Please!”

“What do you think, Ivo?”

“Mmm…” he hummed in Joseph’s ear. “I kind of enjoy watching him suffer…”

“Tatko!”

“What do you think, Emilio?” His father questioned, turning his head to look at him.

Smiling mischievously, he replied “I think we should make him wait longer!”

Joseph stuck his tongue out at his friend. “Terrible friend is what you are.”

Emilio’s sisters’ laughter broke into the conversation. Luckily, someone was willing to be on his side.

“I think we should just let him open them,” Linda said in her sing-song voice. “I’m really curious, too, to see what this amazing present is.”

“Mmm…” his father hummed again in thought. “I suppose…”

“YES!” Joseph shouted, pumping a fist up in victory.

“But you have to open your parents’ present last,” Venc added.

Joseph threw a nasty stare at him, which of course did nothing but make him laugh. He faced Ivo’s glares regularly; one from Joseph wasn’t going to have much of an effect. “Totally not your say, Venc.”

“I’m going to agree with it though,” piped his mother.

“Mayko!”

“Ours last or you can wait,” she sang.

He placed his head in his hands, “Fine…”

“Mine first!” Emilio jumped from his chair and ran to grab the bag they had brought with them.

“Bring the rest with you, mijo!” Mrs. Vidal called.

Backing up, Emilio grabbed the bags from Venc and his grandfather. Joseph wondered where his parents’ gift was.

“Here you go!” He announced, placing them on the table. Pushing his bag closer, Emilio mentioned “There’s two things. The tiny bag inside is especially from me and the other stuff are from everyone.”

Standing up in his chair, Joseph leaned over and peeked into the bag. His father leaned himself on the back of Joseph’s chair. Turning, Joseph asked “Did you wanna sit, tatko?”

He shook his head, and replied “I’m good.”

Speaking in Bulgarian, his grandfather voiced his concern. “Would it not be better if you sat, Ivo?”

His father shook his head once more. “Standing is better; sitting puts pressure on my stomach. And leaning kind of helps with the nausea.” He poked Joseph, speaking in English again. “Don’t keep us waiting.”

“Right, sorry.” Pulling the tissue paper, Joseph stuck his hand in and came out with one of the coolest looking model cars. A beautiful red Ferrari F40. “This is so cool! Thank you, guys!”

“Emilio said you’re a car lover, so me and Linda picked out the coolest looking one,” Maria informed.

Alicia jumped in, “I picked the other thing!”

Joseph placed his car on the table and stuck his hand back into the bag. His father reached out behind him and picked up the car to have a closer look; Joseph thought that maybe he thought it was pretty cool too.

He pulled out his next gift – an encyclopedia of animals. That would explain why the bag looked heavy. The book was hard cover and huge. Joseph instantly loved it. “Thank you!” he directed to Alicia. “It’s a perfect pick! I can’t wait to start reading it.”

Alicia beamed in happiness. “I knew you’d like it!”

“Thank you, Mr. and Mrs. Vidal. They’re perfect gifts.”

Mr. Vidal smiled. “We’re happy you will enjoy them but you still have one left in there.”

“Oh, right!” Joseph stuck his hand in for the last time and pulled out Emilio’s little bag and putting it on the table on top of his new book. And from the bag he pulled out a little box. “Is there a little bag inside the box and a box inside that bag?” he questioned.

Breaking into laughter, Emilio said “No, but I guess that would have been cool! Open it up!”

Opening it, Joseph took out a bracelet. It was simple –  round wooden beads on an elastic band. He slipped it on his wrist and examined it closer. “It’s really pretty.”

“My grandma made it! Well, I had her make two actually,” he said as he took an identical one out of his pocket and slipped it upon his own wrist. Sticking out his hand for a fist bump, he promised “Friends forever, right?”

Joseph smiled huge and bumped fists. “Friends till the end.”

“I feel like we should pop a bottle of champagne in celebration or something,” Venc chimed.

“I think someone’s jealous,” his mother laughed.

“I hadn’t realized you drink, Vencislav,” his grandfather noted.

Joseph could _just feel_ his father rolling his eyes behind his back. “I thought I was the one who makes everything difficult.”

His grandfather darted a glare at his father; Joseph decided it was as good of a time as any to cut in. “I’m gonna open you’re gift next, Venc.”

He brightened at that. “Bába and Ivet picked it out for you.”

Laughing, his mother chided “Your grandmother and sister picked out the gift but you’re the one here? I’m so disappointed in you.”

Venc, of course, turned red. He always seemed to when Joseph’s mother chastised him for something. “How old is your sister?” Mrs. Vidal wondered.

“She’s eleven, ma’am.”

“Oh! Then we’re close in age because I’m ten. Can I meet her sometime?” Linda inquired.

“I don’t see why not,” Venc shrugged.

“Great! I can’t wait! I bet she’s pretty.”

Mr. Vidal gazed at her curiously. “Why do you say that? Not that all young ladies aren’t pretty, regardless.”

“Because,” she started. “She’s Venc’s sister and he’s really fantastic to look at.”

Joseph’s father snorted as he fell into a fit of laughter, clutching his side as he did. Everyone followed suit after him, with both Venc and Linda blushing the deepest shade of red possible. “Well, it’s true,” she murmured.

Cutting through her laughter, his mother gasped “I always told you that you’re a catch, Venc.”

“Thanks, Lady Vesela,” he uttered, face still scarlet. “And uh… thanks Linda.”

She beamed at his thanks and lowered her head shyly. “No problem,” she murmured.

“Anyways,” Joseph cut in, “let’s see what this is.” He pulled a wrapped box out of the bag. It wasn’t large but it wasn’t tiny like Emilio’s. Peeling a corner and eventually ripping the entire thing off, Joseph was presented with a terrarium kit.

“Cool!” he exclaimed. “Make sure you thank them for me, Venc!”

He smiled happily. “I’m glad you like it! Ivet remembered when you kept your insects and thought you would want to try growing mushrooms and stuff. It’ll look really cool when everything grows. She wanted to get you this bug thing but bába told her that Lady Vesela will kill us if we bring a box of bugs into her house.”

“Actually,” his mother interrupted. “Lord Kavinsky over there is the one who would have the issues, not me.”

“Well, gee, I’m sorry I like to keep pests out of my home,” his father muttered.

Joseph suddenly realized his mother had made a huge mistake. And that realization was coming upon everyone else’s faces too. Venc calling his mother ‘lady’ could be seen as a sign of respect on his part. But calling someone ‘lord’ was a little different; it denoted ruling and leadership – a position of power.

They flicked their gazes at Detective Vidal, who was studying Joseph’s father closely. Joseph knew his father could feel that stare even though he wasn’t looking. He had his forehead on his arms which were atop the back of the chair, looking down at the floor, probably trying to steady his stomach.

“How about you open my gift now, vnuk?” his grandfather cut into the silence. “I think you’re going to like it quite a bit.”

Mr. Vidal returned his gaze back to Joseph and smiled, delight eclipsing the deep intelligence and examining that had been there only moments before.

“Okay!” Joseph pulled his grandfather’s small bag closer and took out a box. “You and Emilio seem to think the same, dyádo.”

Opening the box, Joseph stared in surprise at what was inside. “Thank you, dyádo,” he whispered. “I love it.”

“It’s obviously not the same but I had the jeweler get it as close as I could remember it.”

Taking it out of the box, Joseph clasped the bracelet onto his wrist alongside Emilio’s. It was an almost exact replica of his leaf bracelet. It, of course, didn’t have any sort of magical power to it like his other one had the ability to light up just by Joseph willing it but it was beautiful.

He bit his lip, “It’s perfect, dyádo.”

Joseph’s father took his wrist in his hand and looked closely at the bracelet, fiddling with it. But he didn’t say anything, simply placing Joseph’s arm back on the table. Emilio looked in confusion at the bracelet.

“Is it special?”

“I had one exactly like this but i-it…” he was having trouble finishing his sentence. His bracelet had broken when Daniel had slammed him into the floor. His mind starting bringing up some bad memories with that sudden thought. “i-it b-broke.”

He could feel his breathing getting shallow. His mind was going back to a few months ago and he couldn’t stop it. He felt an arm wrap around him but his mind wasn’t comprehending it.

“Joseph,” his father murmured in his ear. “Breathe.”

Deepening his breathing slowly and carefully, he brought his thoughts back to the present. Looking back to Emilio, he said “It was my birthday present last year and was my favorite.”

“Huh, okay.” Emilio shrugged. But Joseph could read the confusion in his eyes. The questions. He could actually see it in all of the Vidal’s eyes. It was Joseph turn to be scrutinized by Detective Vidal as he watched Joseph carefully. He squirmed slightly in his father’s grip from nervousness; he didn’t appreciate being looked at like that.

“Are you ready for my gift?” His mother questioned, excited.

“Hey, hey. _Our_ gift. Don’t take credit for my brilliant idea,” his father muttered.

“You said I inspired it, so I’m taking all the credit!”

She walked into the garage and came out with a plain brown box, placing it in front of Joseph. He glanced at her, the box, then his father. “I checked the garage everyday,” he said indignantly.

His mother laughed and kissed his head. “We actually moved it like five times a day so you wouldn’t find it.”

“When??”

“Duh. When you weren’t paying attention.”

Joseph shook his head in disbelief. “I can’t believe it… How’d I miss it?”

“Well, open it up! I’m dying from suspense.” Alicia said as she leaned closer across the table.

“Wait!” His mother shouted.

He placed his head in his hands and muttered into them “What, mayko?”

She laughed at his suffering. “Couple things first. One,” she held up a finger, “it wasn’t in this box the entire time. I changed it to make sure it was a surprise because what it was in before gave it away. I just want to say that in case it bothers you that it’s in this box.” She put up another finger. “Next, don’t move or lift the box. And finally,” she said, raising one last finger. “There is stuff that goes with this but you have to open this first to not ruin the surprise.”

Joseph stared at her. “Anything else?” he pressed.

“Nope. You’re going to love it!” she squealed in excitement.

Turning back to his box, he lifted off the lid and looked inside.

“No. Way.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband


	35. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Requests, prompts, chatting or questions [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)  
> Enjoy!
> 
> Bulg Music Rec:  
> Tik-Tak by Slatkaristika ft Krisko

He looked down into the box at the best present ever.

Sticking his hands in, he pulled out a tiny kitten that mewed at him as he lifted it. Everyone cooed and awed when they saw it.

“You’re so lucky!” Linda cried.

Joseph pressed the kitten close to his chest, petting its tiny head with his finger. “So?” His father inquired. “Brilliant idea?”

Placing his new pet carefully into the box, he turned and hugged his father around the neck as tight as he could. Placing a kiss on his cheek, Joseph said “It’s perfect, tatko. Thank you.”

Unwinding himself, he hugged and kissed his mother too. “Thank you, mayko.”

Smiling happily, she said “I’m happy you love it!”

Turning back, he lifted it out of the box again. It mewed indignantly. “Is it a boy or a girl?”

“The lady told me a girl. I was going to get a boy but then I saw her and thought she was just too adorable to pass up.”

Joseph could find no argument there; she was beyond adorable. He pushed the box out of the way and settled her on the table. Emilio stuck out his hand and rubbed her head. “She’s so soft and cute! What are you going to name her?”

He looked at her closely. She was tiny with short mousy colored fur. Her eyes were big and a pretty green – Joseph couldn’t help but think of his mother’s eyes.

“Please, not something stupid. Don’t make the poor thing suffer years of a horrible name," his father said, leaning over to rub her head. She mewed at him almost in annoyance. He rubbed her again almost like he was rubbing it in her face that he could.

“Ivo,” his grandfather rumbled.

“Sometimes, I feel like that’s the only thing in your vocabulary,” his father muttered back, voice full of annoyance.

“How about…” he bit his lip, deep in thought. “Peanut.” People named their pets after food all the time. And she was brown and tiny. It was perfect.

His father made a face as he shuffled it through his mind. “Peanut… Could be worse I guess.”

“I think Peanut is a lovely name,” Mrs. Vidal added. “She’s lovely.”

Peanut stood up and walked over to one of the empty plates, sniffing it curiously. Joseph pulled her carefully away, “You shouldn’t eat that stuff.”

“Now listen up,” his mother said. “A cat comes with?”

“Responsibility,” he muttered.

“Meaning?”

“Meaning, I need to take good care of her and look after her. And clean out a litter box.” Joseph scrunched his nose in disgust at the last part – that part wasn’t going to be pleasant.

“Exactly. Also any accidents which I pray to God I will not find. Got it?”

“Got it,” he affirmed.

“Wait, let me put it into a little more perspective, here,” his father added. “If I find shit,” Mr. Vidal made a face, “in my house, if I step on it in my backyard, if for some freakish reason it is in one of my cars…?”

“Peanut goes,” Joseph finished.

“Peanut gets regifted to Emilio.”

“Yes!” Emilio shouted with glee.

Joseph turned a nasty glare on Emilio, shaking his head in mock disgust. “You’re losing a lot of friend points today.”

“Nah, my awesome gifts made up for everything.”

“ _Our_ awesome gifts,” Maria corrected. “Can I hold her, Joseph?”

“Ya, sure.” He lifted her and leaned across the table, handing her to Maria.

“I always wanted a cat,” Venc said in thought.

“Ooh, me too!” Linda jumped in. “But my mom said no. Why don’t you get one? You’re too old for someone to tell you no.”

Linda beamed as Venc laughed. “Oh, Jesus,” Joseph’s father muttered while rolling his eyes behind him. Joseph couldn’t help but laugh.

“It’s a cute crush, Ivo! Leave her be, she’s adorable," his mother quietly laughed beside them.

Venc darted a glare at Joseph’s father who simply flipped him off with a smirk. Mr. Vidal cleared his throat as he caught the silent exchange. To which, naturally, his father rolled his eyes.

“Actually,” Venc began, “I’m not that old; I’ll turn eighteen in like 6 months. But no matter how old I am, my grandmother can always say no if she wants to. Trust me, she reminds me that all the time and every single day. It’s almost like my bedtime story,” he laughed.

“What about your dad? And your mom?” Alicia asked curiously.

Venc just shrugged. “They left when I was nine. Never seen them after that.”

“Pieces of shit, is what they are,” Joseph’s father uttered.

His father had met Venc when he was eleven, trying to steal his wallet. His father told him to fuck off before he broke his fingers into millions of pieces but Venc had begged for money. He had told Joseph’s father about his parents and how he stole to feed his grandmother and baby sister. His father had given Venc a hundred dollars and told him to get lost. Venc had kept his eyes open for him weeks after and when they had finally run into each other again, he begged for a job this time.

And they had been inseparable since then.

“But you’ve never met them, tatko.”

His father looked at him closely. “Anyone who willing disappears and leaves their children behind are pieces of shit. If you didn’t want kids, you shouldn’t have had them in the first place.”

Joseph thought that the last part sounded slightly hypocritical but he wasn’t going to say anything.

“If they just up and left, then it’s their loss, Venc,” Emilio piped in. “They’re the ones missing out on your awesomeness.”

Venc smiled, “Thanks, Emilio. That actually makes me feel pretty damn good. Not that I didn’t know that I’m awesome, already.”

Joseph laughed and turned to his father, “I think you’ve rubbed off on Venc, tatko. He’s in love with himself a bit much today.”

Smirking, his father replied “That’s how much of an amazing role model I am.” His father laughed when Joseph’s grandfather snorted at his words. “You don’t agree, tust?”

His grandfather rolled his eyes, “Oh no, Ivo. Of course I agree. You are one of the most stunning role models I have ever met.”

“If you hadn’t said that so sarcastically, that would have been one of the sweetest things you’ve ever said to me.”

Joseph laughed along with everyone else, then turned to his mother. “Can I open the other stuff you got?”

“Yes, of course!” She walked back into the garage and came out with a couple bags. “Here.”

Taking them, he decided to open them on the floor since the table was running out of room. Emilio and his sisters came and sat with him as the adults started to clean up. Maria placed Peanut on the floor in the middle of everyone. She stood, tail straight up and stared around, blinking her pretty eyes.

She really was perfect.

 

* * *

 

 Emilio laid in his bed, exhausted from an exciting day. It couldn’t have been more fun. He was especially glad that Joseph had loved the bracelet.

He lay thinking deep; he considered Joseph to be really lucky. His family was rich and lived in a huge house. He was probably allowed whatever he wanted. His parents were really cool too.

Joseph was definitely lucky.

Emilio was thankful for his family; he loved them to pieces but he wouldn’t mind if he ever got to taste being rich. Getting a cat for his birthday and all those pet things for it. They had enjoyed going through the bags of pet supplies Mrs. Kavinsky had bought. It was like going through Barney’s magical bag. Things just kept coming out.

But was Joseph as lucky as Emilio thought? Being rich didn’t mean someone was happy. It didn’t mean someone had a good home life or good parents. It just meant you had money. He wondered what Joseph’s life was like behind closed doors. How he was treated, how his parents were when they were angry.

His parents would always express their disappointment and then Emilio would be punished accordingly. He never felt as though they were cruel or the punishments weren’t appropriate. But what was it like for Joseph?

For some reason, Emilio felt like the answer wasn’t a good one. But he didn’t know why – he really liked Mr. and Mrs. Kavinsky. They seemed really nice despite Mr. Kavinsky’s foul mouth; in truth, Emilio thought that it made him seem even cooler.

He was startled out of his thoughts when there was a knock. “Yes?” he called.

“It’s me, hijo, can I open?”

“Yes, papa, come in.”

His father walked in. Emilio was surprised he wasn’t sleeping already. He had an early shift tomorrow. “Mind if I lay next to you?”

“Of course not. Don’t be silly.” He scooted closer to the wall to make room.

His father lay beside him and sighed quietly, closing his eyes. Emilio thought about his father – he was so different than Mr. Kavinsky. Not that he was complaining; he loved his father the way he was.

“Emilio?”

“Yes, papa?”

“Have you ever heard anyone call Mr. Kavinsky ‘lord’ before?”

Emilio’s blood went cold. He still had tiny doubts about the seriousness of what Mr. Kavinsky had told him. He had never bothered telling his father because of that uncertainty. But after today, Emilio felt like it was the truth. He wasn’t sure what had confirmed his doubts but something definitely had. And apparently his father was also skeptical about Mr. Kavinsky like Emilio had originally been.

He had never lied to his dad before. And keeping the secret for the past two weeks had been eating him alive, if he was honest. But he was worried that he wouldn’t get to be friends with Joseph anymore or go to his house. He wasn’t exactly sure why Joseph wouldn’t come over but Emilio didn’t want to push him.

“Emilio?” his father broke into his musings.

He was quiet a second longer. “A couple times, papa.”

His father nodded slowly, eyes still closed. “From who?”

“Venc, mostly. This other guy said it once too.”

“Other guy?”

Emilio paused again. He was sure his parents had noticed Mr. Kavinsky’s behavior – his dad was a detective and his mother a nurse. But he didn’t know what they attributed it too. Joseph had said he dosed up on painkillers before they had arrived but Emilio noticed that while they may have taken away the pain, it didn’t help much.

He decided he might as well just tell the truth. Emilio prayed he would get to keep his best friend.

Sitting up, he looked at his father. “A doctor.”

His dad nodded once more. “It wasn’t stomach flu was it?”

He pursed his lips and shook his head. “No.”

Sitting up slowly, his father turned and faced Emilio, taking his hands in his. “Did they make you promise not to say anything?”

Emilio shook his head; he had actually been surprised that they hadn’t.

“Then?” He looked at him questioningly.

“I don’t want to lose Joseph as a friend, papa,” he murmured.

“That won’t happen on this end.”

“Even though you don’t like Mr. Kavinsky?”

His father laughed. “Was it that obvious?”

“Kind of,” Emilio giggled.

“Whether I like him or not, what happens between parents won’t affect you and Joseph. No worries, amor.”

“Thanks,” he smiled. Emilio looked directly at his father. “He was stabbed.”

“Stabbed…”

“He’s not a businessman, papa.”

“I didn’t think so, no… but you know this for sure?”

Emilio nodded. “When he came home after he got stabbed, me and Joseph went to check on him and… I kind of asked him what he really was.”

Chuckling, his dad said “Sometimes, you need to limit your curiosity. It could get you into trouble one day. So what was his answer?”

Emilio breathed in deep.

And told his father everything he knew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband


	36. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)  
>   
> 
> Bulg Music Rec:  
> 2x2 Plamen I Ivo, Pavell & Venci Venc'

“Mayko! I can’t find my swim trunks!” Joseph called out from his room. Hopefully, she would hear him all the way downstairs.

He shuffled through his clothes some more, throwing things out from his closet and drawers; he would clean them up later. Emptying yet another drawer, Joseph found nothing – it was getting slightly ridiculous; he could’ve sworn he saw his trunks just the other day.

They were going to Coney Island today and Joseph couldn’t be more excited. He had never been before but the amusement park and boardwalk looked like so much fun. The entire family was going – his family, his Tétka Nikol’s, his grandfather, and, of course, Venc. But what was even better was that Emilio’s was coming too.

Joseph had asked his mother if they could invite them a few days ago but she had said no – it was just family. Knowing that his father wouldn’t really enjoy the time with his in-laws, Joseph had gone to his father. And while he didn’t really like Mr. Vidal, his father was more open to putting up with him than Tetíncho Yulian.

So, despite his mother’s wishes, Emilio’s family was invited.

“Mayko?!” he called out again, still not finding his shorts. He turned and scanned his room again. Peanut watched him from the bed, pretty eyes narrowed to slits. “Guess you haven’t seen them, huh?”

She closed her eyes in reply. “Ya, that’s what I thought.”

“What the hell happened in here?” His father asked as he doubled-back when he saw the mess as he was passing by.

“I can’t find my swim trunks,” Joseph mumbled as he shuffled through more junk in his closet. “I thought I saw them the other day…” he trailed off as he continued with his search.

“Hey!” He muffled from under whatever was thrown at him. Taking it off his face, Joseph was greeted with his swim trunks. “Oh…”

“It was on the floor, stupid.” His father rolled his eyes as he stood in the middle of the mess on the floor. He was much better now and his wound was a fresh pink scar on his side. All the weight he had lost came back and was worked into hard muscle. And he was once again allowed to eat all the sweets he liked. Joseph was pretty sure that was one of his father’s favorite parts about being better.

“Uh… I totally knew that…’

“Uhuh.”

“Joseph, are you re-” His mother stopped abruptly in the doorway. “What the hell?”

“I was…uh… trying to find my shorts…” He held them up in his hand. “But I found them!”

“Ehem.”

“Well, tatko found them.”

His mother blinked around the mess in the room. “I have half a mind to say that you don’t get to go until this mess is cleaned but we’re already late as it is.” She pointed a stern finger at him. “Consider yourself lucky.”

He gave her a huge, winning smile. “You’re the best, mayko!” He crooned.

Merely rolling her eyes in reply, she walked away, calling out behind her “Hurry up!”

His father sat himself on the bed, rubbing Peanut as he sat. He, like Joseph’s mother, was already dressed in shorts and a tshirt, ready to go. “Tatko?” Joseph asked.

His gaze moved from Peanut to Joseph, question in the deep abyss of his eyes.

“Can I use one of your hats?” Joseph had a couple of his own but his father’s were way nicer. And more expensive, obviously. If there was one thing of American culture that his father had fallen in love with in full force, it was baseball. He was obsessed and loved the Yankees; he owned a lot of their stuff – especially their baseball hats.

His father bit his lip in thought, probably gauging the amount of risk in letting Joseph wear one. Huffing, he got up and started walking out of the room. “Fine.”

“Thank you!” Joseph chimed happily, quickly changing to his trunks and slipping on a different shirt. Luckily, his flip-flops were in the garage and he wouldn’t have to dig for them in the piles of the mess he created. God help him when he came home; it was going to take forever to clean.

Trotting to his parent’s room, he walked in as his father took out two hats from his closet. “You can pick either of these two.”

Joseph looked at them closely. _Such a hard choice…_ He kind of wished he was allowed to choose form any of them but he wasn’t going to complain. At least he got to wear one. Making his decision, he slipped on the one that was pure black with a white logo and no strap on the back. It was a little big but Joseph didn’t mind. “Thank you, tatko.”

“Just don’t fuck up my hat,” he replied, putting the other one back into the closet. “And don’t lose it either.”

“No way! I’ll take extra good care of it.”

He was pretty sure he heard his father mumble a ‘you better’ but he wasn’t sure.

His mother walked in with a pissed off look on her face. “I thought I said hurry up?”

“We’re ready, Vesela, relax. Jesus.” His father said. “I don’t know if you know this but I’m a hell of a driver.”

She rolled her eyes while throwing her hands in the air. “I’m aware, you conceited bastard.”

“Look, mayko, tatko is letting me wear one of his hats!” Joseph interrupted.

Looking at him, she smiled radiantly. She walked over and crouched in front of him, placing a kiss on his nose. “You look way better than he does in it. Damn handsome.”

He smiled in happiness. “You really think so?”

She laughed, hugging him close. “Lady killer is what you are. You’ll make Linda forget Venc in a heartbeat.”

Joseph laughed but his mind caught onto a thought. Lady killer. He still felt like it wasn’t the girls he was trying to impress. He had been thinking about it more often after Emilio told him about his pretty neighbor who was their age. Joseph hadn’t seen her yet, but Emilio swore he had never seen a cuter girl before. Joseph took to looking at girls more closely after that but to him it just didn’t matter. Sure, he thought some of them were pretty or cute but he didn’t care. They didn’t make him blush or want to really talk to them or win a smile.

And while he had spent time checking out girls, he also spent it looking at boys, trying to see how he reacted to each gender. Joseph found that while he did like seeing a pretty girl, he really liked looking at cute guys.

And that worried him. Because he was pretty sure boys weren’t supposed to be looking at other boys like that.

“For the record, I look sexy as hell in anything,” his father cut in and pointed at his wife. “And you can’t argue with that. Neither can society, being that I catch every woman’s eye.”

His mother made a face. “I should go poke their eyes out.”

Smirking, his father continued. “And being that this charming brat is my son, I’d imagine that he’s going to look damn good in anything he wears. And maybe,” he paused for a dramatic effect. “Maybe, just maybe, he might pull something off better than me. But today is not that day.”

“Hey!” Joseph laughed.

“Sorry, brat, but you can’t pull off my hat better than me.”

“I’m going to have to disagree,” his mother said, standing up. “Gimme a hat, Ivo.”

He scrunched his face in confusion. “Why?”

“Duh, stupid, so I can wear one. I wanna look damn sexy too. And so we can all match!” She clasped her hands in delight at the sudden prospect.

“The second reason is stupid but I’ll entertain the first even though you’re already sexy as it is.”

His mother blushed, despite having heard the comment many times before. Joseph like when his parents were flirting with each other; it meant their home was happy and fighting wasn’t going to happen anytime soon. It meant that he didn’t have to suffer through the hate and disgust that would fill the air.

Coming back from the closet, his father placed a white one on her head after undoing her hair from the bun she had fixed it in. Kissing her deep – Joseph was always embarrassed when he witnessed the action part of flirting – he murmured into her ear “Damn sexy, Lady Vesela.”

Her cheeks blushed darker, her face and even some of her neck and chest turning scarlet. Something told Joseph they forgot he was standing and that he should probably let them know before his father kept going with his ‘love.’

“Uh… so I thought we were already late?”

His mother jumped, pushing his father slightly away. _Definitely forgot…_ “Right! Sorry! You’re right, we need to get going.” Pecking his father on the lips, she walked out of the room. “Let’s go!”

His father turned to look at him, his face filled with annoyance. He scrunched his nose in disappointment. “Guess you couldn’t have just walked out, huh?”

Joseph smiled. “Did I interrupt something, tatko?” he said innocently.

Shaking his head as he walked out after his wife, his father muttered something that Joseph wasn’t entirely sure what it meant; although he could kind of figure it out, knowing what he interrupted.

“Fucking cockblocker.” 

* * *

 

After picking up Venc and convincing Ivet to come with them, they drove to Coney Island. After what felt like hours to an excited Joseph, they arrived and parked in the space Tétka Nikol had saved for them next to her car. She looked incredibly annoyed.

“Took you guys long enough!” She said after they parked and got out. Andrey was standing next to her nodding his head. Tetíncho Yulian was on his phone with Anka saying something next to him. Joseph was grateful that at least his other cousin wasn’t as nasty as her older brother. She was a year younger than Joseph and was generally nice – although she never quite shut up.

“Sorry,” his mother said. “Traffic was hell.”

It actually wasn’t. Thanks to his father’s driving, they made it in record time. But Joseph knew his mother didn’t want to tell her that they had actually left late. That left room for a lecture that nobody wanted to put up with.

“Hi, Joseph!” Emilio shouted as he ran up from where his family was. They followed behind him, albeit without the running. Joseph was surprised that Emilio’s grandma had also come. But then, who wouldn’t want to enjoy a day at an amusement park and beach. Old ladies liked that stuff too.

Finishing his hug with his grandfather, Joseph met Emilio the rest of the way. “Hey! Hi, Emilio’s family!” He waved to them. “Today’s going to be so much fun! I’m so excited, I always wanted to come!”

“It’s gonna be great!” Emilio shouted, fist pumping into the air. “We have to ride everything! And we have to win everything too.”

Joseph laughed. “I don’t think we can win everything but I guess we can try.”

“C’mon guys! Let’s go.” Alicia called out to them, jumping up and down excitedly.

Emilio glanced up to his father. “Are we gonna eat first or play?”

Mr. Vidal looked over to Timotei. “What do you think?”

“Are you all hungry? We can eat first, if you guys would like.”

“Eating first,” Joseph’s father declared as he walked up, shaking Mr. Vidal’s hand. “Raul.”

“Ivo. You’re better I hope?”

_Better? Did Emilio maybe…_ Joseph looked at Emilio closely who merely smiled. But there was something showing in his eyes. _He told and yet…_

And yet here they were. That struck Joseph as odd. A detective willingly socializing with a mob family? That didn’t seem like something that would be normal. But Joseph was thankful – it meant he got to keep his friend.

“Was there something wrong with me?” His father asked curiously. But Joseph could tell he had already figured out that Emilio had told at least his father, if not his whole family.

“You seemed under the weather last we saw each other. Stomach pain…?”

His father smiled. “Your concern is flattering, detective.” He looked down at Emilio, “How you doing, kid?”

Emilio smiled nervously. “Good, Mr. Kavinsky. And you?”

He smiled broad. “Better.”

“Ivo.” Joseph’s grandfather murmured in warning.

Turning his head to look at his father-in-law, his father said “Just answering his question, tust. Be rude if I didn’t.”

“Um…” Joseph bit his lip as he cut in, belly full of nerves. “So, eating first, tatko?”

He turned his gaze back to Joseph, his dangerous, condescending demeanor changing. “Yes! I don’t know about you but I happen to be starving.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t have skipped breakfast, love,” his mother said as she came up behind them. “Hi Emilio! How are you, sweetheart?”

Emilio smiled happily. “Great, Mrs. Kavinsky! How are you?”

“How come all I got was a good and she got a great?” Joseph’s father jumped in.

“Because he’s smart enough to know that he should always aim to please a lady,” his mother said.

Linda bounced over to them, excitement shooting out of her with every hop. “Aw! You guys are matching! That’s so cute!”

His mother slung her arms around his father’s shoulders; it was difficult on account of his height but she managed anyways. “I told you it would be adorable if we all matched in our hats.”

“Okay, whatever you say. Can we go eat? I wasn’t joking when I said I was starving.”

“Yes, please! I’m hungry too!” Venc chimed from behind.

“Joseph?”

“Yes, mayko?” he said looking into her beautiful face.

“Don’t grow to be whiney like every other man, please.”

Joseph laughed. “I won’t, no worries.”

“Me neither!” Emilio shouted with conviction.

“Fine. I’m whiney. Now can we just go fucking eat already?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband


	37. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompts and all that jazz [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)  
> Comments and kudos always make my day! You can comment as a guest if your shy
> 
> Bulg Music Rec:  
> Ne Mi Ubivaj Kefa by Santra ft Krisko

Emilio stared down at the menu in his hand; there were so many good choices and he didn’t know what to pick. He looked at Joseph sitting beside him, “What are you gonna get?”

“Uh…good question,” Joseph answered, hand on his mouth in thought as he also gazed at his menu. Removing his hand, he turned the page, biting his lip as he tried to make his choice.

Emilio’s gaze caught on Joseph’s mouth. It was just so…

Pretty.

It was lovely; there was no other way for Emilio to put it. Joseph had a beautiful mouth – among other things – so full and something that Emilio wished he could have.

Something he really wished he could taste.

He had a huge crush on Joseph; Emilio couldn’t help it. He liked everything about him – personality and looks.

Especially those lips.

Before they had moved to New Jersey, Emilio had come to realize something about himself; that boys were just as nice to look at as girls. It had worried him at first; from what he had heard at church, it wasn’t okay for boys to like boys. But a thought had come to him – if it wasn’t okay, then why did God make him like this? The priest had to be wrong. God wouldn’t have made Emilio attracted to boys if it wasn’t okay.

With this thought in his mind, he went to his mother and decided to see what she would say.

_“Mom?” He said walking up to her as she sat on the couch watching tv._

_“Yes, mijo?”_

_Emilio took a deep breath. “I have a question and it’s important.”_

_She gazed at him curiously, slight worry creeping into that look. “Okay.”_

_“Can priests be wrong sometimes? Because they say it’s wrong for boys to like boys but I don’t think so. If it was, God wouldn’t make people like that right?”_

_His mother blinked at him. Emilio was pretty sure she caught on to what he what he was implying. “I’m not sure about them being wrong, but they are just humans and everyone is wrong at one point.”_

_“So… it’s okay for boys to like boys the same way they like girls?”_

_She held his hands in hers and looked straight into his eyes, her voice turning serious. “Do you like boys the same way as girls, mijo?”_

_“Would you not want me anymore if I did?” He asked quietly. He suddenly realized the weight of what he was doing. Of_ _how some people wouldn’t like what he was, who he liked. Emilio prayed his family wasn’t like those people._

_Swallowing, she took a careful steady breath. “I would want you no matter what.”_

_Emilio smiled huge in relief and let out the breath he didn’t even know he was holding. “Oh,” he laughed nervously, “Th-That’s good. I’d miss you a lot.”_

_Grabbing his face, his mother pulled him closer and kissed his forehead. “I’d miss you a lot too."_

Emilio realized that he was still staring at Joseph’s mouth. Quickly turning his gaze away, he looked around the table to see if anyone noticed. Maria was smiling at him knowingly. His cheeks heated and he quickly looked back at his menu. _So nosey…_

After he had told his mom, he had asked her to help him tell his father; Emilio had been a little more worried what his reaction would have been. It was a bit harder with his father than his mother. He had placed his head in his hands, said something Emilio didn’t catch, stood up, and shut himself in his room.

His father’s reaction had hurt so bad. His sisters had been eavesdropping and were more than accepting; it had brightened his mood but didn’t help the pain he felt at his father’s rejection.

A few days had past when his father came into his room as he sat on his bed staring at the floor, thinking that maybe there was something wrong with him.

_“Hola, mijo,” his father started as he crouched in front of Emilio, taking his hands in his._

_Emilio simply looked up into his father’s gaze, fear coursing through him that his father would never want him again._

_Smiling, his father took a deep breath before he began. “So, boys?”_

_Emilio shook his head. “I must be wrong, papa. It’s wrong to like boys… I’m sorry for causing trouble.”_

_“No, papi, it is I who is wrong for doubting your heart.” He tapped where Emilio’s heart was, “If those are your feelings, do not regret for being yourself. I love you however you are as long as you are true to those feelings inside of you that God has blessed you with.”_

_Emilio’s eyes went wide with surprise. “Really?”_

_“Really. Whether you like girls or boys or both, it doesn’t matter. You simply must follow your true self and disregard anyone who tells you not to. They are the ones who are wrong. You are perfect the way God has made you, mi amor.”_

“…llo,” he felt a jab in his side. “Yo, anyone home? I’m going to shove you off the chair in three, two…”

“Don’t!” He jumped as Joseph had his hands ready to push.

“Where is your mind, Emilio? I’ve been talking to you,” his mother questioned.

“Uh…sorry,” he muttered. “What’s wrong?”

She looked at him closely. “Nothing is wrong. What would like to eat?”

“Oh! Right…um…”

* * *

They sat, food finished and enjoyed, waiting eagerly until they could get up and play. “Can we go yet?” Emilio asked impatiently.

“In a minute, I want to share some news,” his mother smiled excitedly.

He gazed at her curiously. “News?” He noticed how his sisters were smiling; whatever it was they obviously already knew.

Joseph’s mom jumped in excitedly. “You know the gender, don’t you?”

_The gender… OH. The baby. God, please give me a brother!_ “How come you didn’t tell me when you told them?” He pointed over at his sisters.

His mom laughed. “I wanted to surprise and also I want everyone to see your reaction.”

It’d be lie if he said he wasn’t a little nervous. “Okaay… I think I’m ready.”

“You sure?”

“Yes.”

“You really, really sure?”

“C’mon!” he said impatiently. “What is it?” Everyone at the table was gazing back and forth between Emilio and his mom, waiting in suspense and amusement. Well, mostly everyone; he couldn’t read Mr. Kavinsky’s expression.

She smiled excitedly. “It’s a girl, mijo.”

Emilio stared at her for a few seconds, comprehending her words. Joseph was sitting beside him trying to stifle his laugh, “I’m sorry, Emilio, looks like you’re going to get another crazy one!”

“Y-you’re serious, mama? Tell me you’re joking.”

His dad leaned back in his chair, a smile also playing on his face. “Not good news?”

Putting his head in his hands, he muffled out. “Fantastic news, papa, I just…uhh…”

“It’s all right, kid. Trust me, you don’t want a younger brother. He’ll just drive you insane,” Mr. Kavinsky insisted.

“I already have sisters doing that…” A thought struck Emilio. “Do you have a younger brother, Mr. Kavinsky? You made it sound like you do?”

Emilio noticed how the table went quiet. _Something else I probably wasn’t supposed to ask… I need to learn to kill my curiosity once in a while._ Mr. Kavinsky’s face was blank but his eyes looked like he was running through memories. Coming to, he looked at Emilio and quietly said “Had.”

_Had? How does a person used to have… Oh… He must’ve died…_ He suddenly felt really guilty about asking. Him and his questions. His dad was right; one day they were going to get him into trouble. Nervously, he apologized. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-”

“Forget it, kid,” Mr. Kavinsky interrupted, voice suddenly hard. “Let it go.” He stood up suddenly from his chair and with a quick ‘excuse me’, walked out.

Now he really felt guilty. Looking to Mrs. Kavinsky, Emilio murmured. “I’m really am sorry.”

She smiled sweetly at him. “Don’t worry about it, sweetheart. He’s not mad or upset with you. You didn’t know.”

“But… he sounded mad?”

Mrs. Kavinsky’s smile turned sad, face filled with sorrow. “Mad with himself, not you. Really, you needn’t worry.”

Emilio was almost stupid enough to ask why Mr. Kavinsky was mad with himself. He really needed to learn to shut up. He decided that maybe changing the subject would be a good idea. Looking in his mother’s direction, he muttered “So… a girl, huh?”

She also looked appreciative at the change in subject although his father looked to be lost in his thoughts. “Yes! I’ve decided that you and sisters get to vote on a name; of course, out of the ones I already picked.”

“What if it’s a tie? We’re four people, mama.”

“My vote is the tie breaker, if need be,” his father chimed in.

“What names do you have picked?” Joseph’s Aunt Nikol asked. Emilio had heard some things from Joseph about her family and kids and so far he noticed that none of the stories were made up. Anka seemed okay but Andrey was just too much. Emilio didn’t really like him.

“I’m thinking Paola or Alondra.”

“Those are pretty!” Ivet exclaimed as Emilio saw Mr. Kavinsky walking back in.

“What are pretty?” Mr. Kavinsky questioned as he sat, seemingly back to himself. Mrs. Kavinsky turned his face and pecked him on the lips, whispering something. He shook his head and murmured something back. She shrugged and adjusted their hats – they had to be moved to the side for the kiss.

“The names Mrs. Vidal picked for the new baby,” Joseph said.

“Which are?”

“Paola and Alondra,” Joseph scrunched his face in thought. “I know my vote doesn’t count but I like Alondra better.”

Emilio thought for minute about their names. They had Maria, Alicia, Linda, and Emilio. And Paolo or Alondra. “I like Alondra too. That’s gonna be my vote.”

Maria smiled. “Was that _really_ your first choice?”

Blushing, he replied “Yes!” He knew she was thinking that he picked it just because Joseph did.

“I like Paola,” Mrs. Kavinsky murmured. “But they’re both pretty.”

“Well, we obviously have plenty of time to decide, so no rush,” his father said. He looked around the table, “If we’re all finished, how about we go enjoy ourselves?”

“Yes, please!” Emilio and Joseph exclaimed.

“You guys can play and we will save a spot on the beach,” Ms. Nikol said. Emilio was going to have to find out what her last name was.

Mr. Kavinsky looked at her, face smug and eyebrow raised. Emilio was pretty sure that they generally didn’t get along. “And if I want to play instead?”

Rolling her eyes, exasperated “Then go play, asshole.”

“Nikol,” Mr. Dobrev said.

“Uh-oh, Righteous Timotei has arrived,” Mr. Kavinsky joked. “We should all run while we can. Mood killer, that man.”

Joseph’s grandpa turned his glare on Ivo, who merely smirked and shrugged his shoulders. “What?”

Mr. Dobrev shook his head. “Nothing. Just nothing.”

“So, are we gonna go play or what?” Joseph asked.

“Yes,” Mr. Kavinsky said as he stood up. “Joseph, Emilio, and Venc are with me. The rest of you deal with yourselves. Not my problem.”

“And my son does what, exactly?” Mr. Yulian asked in annoyance. Emilio really hoped Andrey wasn’t going with them.

“Don’t give a shit. I’m pretty sure I said not my problem.”

Mrs. Kavinsky put her head in her hands and shook it. “Ivo…”

“What?” He said indignantly. “His kid’s annoying as fuck. He can deal with him. And I’m sure if you ask Joseph, Emilio, and Venc, they don’t want him to come along anyways.”

Emilio’s cheeks turned red. The statement was true but the way Mr. Kavinsky had said it sounded so… mean. He looked at both Joseph and Venc, who wore the same expression as him.

Mrs. Kavinsky picked her head up and looked at Andrey. “Don’t worry about it, sweetheart. You can come with me and the girls. How many guys get to hang out with four fabulous young ladies? Way more fun than being with this asshole,” she said, pointing at Mr. Kavinsky. Maria, Alicia, and Linda all nodded their heads. Ivet also did but he noticed she did so reluctantly.

“I’m joining you guys too. Right, Tétka Vesela?” Anka asked.

“Of course!”

“If you don’t want to join the ladies, vnuk, I will be more than happy to take you around to play,” Mr. Dobrev added.

Emilio was a little surprised that they weren’t trying to force Mr. Kavinsky to take Andrey with them. But then, Emilio was pretty sure there was no one in the world who could force him to do something he didn’t want to.

Andrey shrugged. “I’ll just go with the girls, dyádo, but thanks.” Pointing at Joseph, he snapped “I didn’t want to hang out with you anyways.”

Joseph just shrugged, rolling his eyes and muttered “Whatever.”

“Great! Problem solved!” Mrs. Kavinsky said happily. “You guys go and enjoy yourselves on the beach,” she gestured to Emilio’s parents, Joseph’s aunt, uncle, and grandfather, and Emilio’s grandmother. Emilio was surprised his grandma hadn’t spoken much, usually she never stops. But he had noticed she had taken a liking to Mr. Dobrev which Emilio figured was a good thing.

“Actually,” Emilio’s father interrupted. “I think I’ll join the gentlemen in enjoying the amusement park.”

Emilio jumped in his chair. “Great!”

Mr. Kavinsky tilted his head as he looked at Emilio’s father. “Don’t expect me not to challenge you at some game or something. I always wanted to put a detective in his place.”

“Oh? Well, I must warn you. I’ve put many men like you in their place.”

“Ah, but my dear, dear Raul,” Joseph’s father smiled wide, face filled with challenge and excitement.

“You’ve never met a man quite like me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband


	38. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http//:www.sambamart.tumblr.com)  
>  Enjoy!
> 
> Bulg Song Rec:  
> Bela Jiga by Upsurt  
> This song is actually the one mentioned in Dream Thieves

“Where are we going to start?” Joseph asked, bouncing excitedly as they walked.

“I’m thinking Luna Park and work our way from there,” his father answered. “We obviously won’t have time for everything but we’ll try to get in as much as we can.”

“Have you been here before, Ivo?” Mr. Vidal asked.

“Just once,” he replied, a smile on his face. “Vesela and I spent a week in one of the hotels, making sure we played and rode everything. It was actually our honeymoon.”

Joseph stopped and turned to look at his father behind him. “Really?”

“Really that we did everything or that it was our honeymoon?”

“Both.”

“Yes, really. It was a lot of fun. I, of course, won more than mayko did.”

Venc also stopped walking, face in thought. “I wonder if my wife would like a honeymoon at an amusement park.”

“You’d have to get a girlfriend first, you know,” Emilio laughed.

Typical of Venc when girls were brought up, he blushed. “I know! I’m just saying!”

His father shoved Venc forward when he reached him. “Keep walking, lover boy. You’re never going to get a girl if you’re too afraid to talk to them.”

“I’m not! I just get nervous is all. We’re not all overconfident bastards, you know. Most people are just normal – something, my lord, you very much are not.”

His father merely smirked as Mr. Vidal spoke up, a smile playing on his face. “I was always nervous when I had to speak to women. I was terrified to speak to Claudia the first time. My first wife as well.”

Joseph looked at him, confused. “First wife, Mr. Vidal?”

“Yup,” Emilio said. “Maria’s mom.”

Venc looked at Emilio curiously. “Maria’s your half-sister?”

“Yes,” Mr. Vidal said. “I was married before Claudia but it didn’t go well and we divorced. Keeping a long story short, I eventually got full custody of Maria after Claudia and I married. And I'm truly thankful I did. I don’t think I’d be able to handle only seeing her once in awhile or not at all.”

“Huh…” Joseph, for some reason, found this all really interesting. He had never really heard of that before. But then maybe it was because he never really paid attention. Or possibly because he didn’t have any friends. Maybe if he did, Joseph would see people who had a different family style than his own.

Reaching Luna Park, they stopped at the front booth to buy tickets. Joseph noticed how Mr. Vidal stood behind his father to pay separately. Turning to look at Mr. Vidal when he realized, his father questioned “What are you doing?”

“Taking out my wallet. What does it look like?”

His father waved his hand in dismissal. “Put it away, I got it.”

Mr. Vidal shook his head. “No, its fine I’ve got it, Ivo.”

“Don’t make me turn this into a scene,” his father huffed. “Put you’re fucking wallet away, I got it.”

“Ivo, really-”

“I invited, so I’m paying. Stop making this such an issue for fuck’s sake.”

Mr. Vidal threw his hands up in the air, giving in to his frustration. “I don’t want your illegal mobster money - there I said it! I was trying to be polite before but there you go. I don’t want your money. I’d prefer to use my own.” He pulled out some bills from his wallet, “I’d like to use my entirely legal cash.”

They all stared in shock at Mr. Vidal. Sure, they knew he knew they were a family of mobsters. But having him shouting it at them seemed a little different.

“If you have a problem with me, then why the hell did you come?” His father huffed. “I don’t know how long you’ve known or, for that matter, how much you know, but if you have an issue then why the fuck did you bother coming? You could have easily said no and we all could have moved on with our lives.”

“Because,” Mr. Vidal began in annoyance, “While I have a major issue with you – a man who is beyond disrespectful to the people around him and only God knows what else – my son happens to like yours quite a lot. And I would never stand between him and friendship. Despite the fact that the father of said friend is a mobster and a sick human being.”

Joseph’s eyes went wide at Mr. Vidal’s speech. He couldn’t believe he had actually just said all that to his father’s face. Nobody spoke to his father that way. He glanced over at Venc, who was likewise shocked but also had horror etched on his face. He knew better than Joseph ever would on what his father did to people who disrespected him. Emilio was looking at his father as if he wanted him to just stop talking.

Looking up at his father, Joseph saw the hate contorting his face. “Listen up you piece of shit. First off, if you were anyone else I would’ve broken your jaw by now, cut out your tongue, and shoved it down your motherfucking throat.” Joseph and Emilio’s eyes went huge at such a threat.

Mr. Vidal interrupted sarcastically, “And who am I, _Lord Kavinsky_?”

He stuck a finger to Mr. Vidal’s chest. “You, you motherfucking cocksucker, are the father of my kid’s only fucking friend. That’s who. And I just might happen to want my kid to keep his only friend.”

“Gentlemen,” Venc stammered only to quickly gain his composure. “This is neither the time or place to hash this out. Also, there happens to be children present.”

Mr. Vidal glanced between Joseph and Emilio, the anger slowly evaporating from his face as he calmed himself. He breathed deep, steading his breathing. “You’re right, Vencislav, my apologies to all three of you.”

Joseph’s father also looked down at Emilio and Joseph but his anger didn’t evaporate. And Joseph knew that it would take a long while for it to fully disappear. And the hate? The hate would never go. It would settle and fester and grow until it was all consuming.

Sighing heavily, his father said “Can I just pay for the fucking tickets?”

Annoyed but deciding it was better to just give in, Mr. Vidal muttered “Go ahead.”

Joseph glanced at Emilio, both of them sighing in relief. It was barely mid-day and yet their father’s had already blown on one another. But then, maybe they had saved it all up from last time too. This was going to be an interesting day.

“Alright,” his father sighed after getting the tickets, looking at both Joseph and Emilio. “What first?”

“The fucking Cyclone, that’s what. I’ve always wanted to ride it.” Venc stared at the huge rollercoaster in excitement. Like Joseph, this was the first time he had been to an amusement park.

“I’m pretty sure he was asking us, Venc,” Joseph mentioned.

“Oh. I thought it was an open question.”

Emilio looked at Joseph’s father. “Are you going to ride anything?”

“Hell ya,” he smirked. “I happen to enjoy many other things besides for a variety illegal activities.”

Joseph shook his head, much in the same manner his grandfather would. “Tatko…”

He merely smiled in amusement and looked around the park. “How about Venc and I go enjoy that big ass rollercoaster and you three play one of these booths?”

“Sounds good!” Emilio exclaimed. “I hope you guys scream your heads off. One time Alicia screamed so much from a rollercoaster, she peed on herself.”

Joseph breathed through his laughter. “Seriously?”

“I have no intentions of pissing myself. Don’t know about Venc though. Dude has a weak bladder sometimes.”

“Hey!”

Shrugging, his father uttered “Just saying.”

Mr. Vidal gazed at Joseph and Emilio. “What booth should we start with?”

“Uh… how about skeeball?” Emilio said as he gazed at the ones near them.

“Sure,” Joseph nodded. “Hey!” He looked at his father indignantly as he yanked off the extra hat his father had shoved on his head, causing his own to cover his eyes.

“I need you to hang onto my hat while I go on the rollercoaster. Oh, and here,” he put his sunglasses on Joseph’s face. “Take care of those too.”

Venc yanked off his own hat and shoved it on Joseph’s head. “Thanks.”

“I’m not some hat rack, you know.”

Smiling, his father rolled his eyes. “Whatever you say. We’ll catch up with you guys when we’re done, okay?”

Joseph’s breathing halted. He just realized that his father was going to leave him. With an older man. He knew Mr. Vidal would never hurt him but his mind just wouldn’t accept it. Joseph only recently starting going to Emilio’s house but Mrs. Vidal had to be there, especially if Emilio’s father was. He still stuck to his parents like glue, but he also would go with his grandfather. He would stay sometimes at his Tétka Nikol’s when only Tetíncho was home but that was only as a last resort.

He didn’t know if he would be able to be with just Mr. Vidal. Emilio was obviously with them but it didn’t really make a difference in his mind. Joseph wouldn’t even be in his father’s line of sight. He would be completely on his own.

His father knew all this, of course, and yet he was willing to leave Joseph. That had to mean he trusted Mr. Vidal completely. He was still standing waiting for Joseph to tell him it was okay to go. But Joseph couldn’t manage it.

Crouching in front of Joseph, he spoke softly in Bulgarian. “Venc can go alone, if you want. I’ll stay if you need me to.”

Venc spoke as well. “We can take turns or something. It’s not a problem, Joseph, one of us will be happy to stay with you.”

Joseph looked at both his father and Venc, then the Vidals who wore confusion upon their faces, not understanding what was being said. He looked closely at Mr. Vidal’s face. Joseph liked him; he was nice and funny too. Emilio loved his father and only ever said amazing things about him. He was also a detective; Joseph figured you can’t be a horrible person if you were a detective.

Maybe he could do this.

Biting his lip, he looked back into his father’s questioning face. “I think I’ll be okay, tatko.”

His father was incapable of concealing his shock but it was quickly replaced with happiness. “Ya?”  
“Ya.”

Joseph was squished when his father hugged him close. “I’m real proud of you, brat,” he whispered. “Mayko is going to be really proud too.”

He smiled in delight; there was nothing he loved more than those words from his father. And Joseph was pretty sure he meant them too.

“I’m proud too!” Venc chimed.

“Alright,” his father switched to English as he stood. “We’re gonna go scream till Venc pisses and then we’ll be back.”

“I’m not going to!” Venc denied indignantly, also switching.

Emilio still looked confused but joked happily with them. “Even if you don’t, I’m going to tell everyone you did!”

Venc threw up his hands in defeat. “I hate all of you.”

* * *

  
“Let’s play that one!” Joseph pointed at a booth.

Emilio scrunched his face. “I’m so gonna lose! My aim sucks!”

“But mine doesn’t!” Joseph ran to the booth.

“4 tickets, please,” the booth lady said. “Break as many plates as you can and win a prize!”

Handing her 4 tickets, the lady handed him a bucket of balls. His eye caught on a whale stuffed animal. His mother loved whales; Joseph was going to try and win it for her. “How many do I need to hit to get that whale?”

“Fifteen plates before time runs out. You get a minute and a half.”

Joseph could aim but he wasn’t sure if he could manage them that fast. “You can totally do it, Joseph,” Emilio said beside him.

Mr. Vidal stood behind them, “If you don’t manage it the first time, you can go again.”

Joseph flexed his wrist and said a quick prayer. He nodded to the lady, “I’m ready.”

“In three…”

Joseph grabbed his first ball. He hoped who could do it in one go – he wanted to impress Emilio.

“Two…”

Picking the plate he wanted, he prepped his arm and aim.

“One. GO!”

Thinking one last second about where he was throwing, Joseph threw as hard as he could.

And made his first hit.

“Nice!” Emilio shouted. “Keep going!”

He only ever thought about his throw for a second before he threw the ball. By the end of the time limit, he wasn’t sure how many he hit but Joseph felt pretty good. Crossing his fingers, he asked the booth lady, “How many?”

Finishing her silent count, she looked at him smiling. “Congrats on 16!”

“YES!” Joseph and Emilio jumped with joy.

“Why are we all excited?” Venc asked as he walked up. Him and Joseph’s father had gone to the other rollercoaster, Thunderbolt.

“I won, Venc! I had to hit 15 and I did 16!”

“Well done, Joseph,” Mr. Vidal smiled.

“So what’d you win?” His father walked up, hair a mess and sticking out every which way.

Emilio giggled. “Love the hair, Mr. Kavinsky.”

His father rolled his eyes and grabbed his glasses and hat from Joseph, putting them back on. “Well?”

“Here you go!” The booth lady handed Joseph his whale. “Nice job, kid!”

“Thank you!” He showed the whale to his father. “I’m gonna give it to mayko! I think she’s gonna love it. What do you think?”

“I think you know how to make me look bad.”

Laughing, Joseph replied “According to mayko, I already look better than you, remember?”

“Oooh!” Venc laughed. “He totally got you!”

Emilio and his father laughed with them as Joseph’s father just shook his head. “Hurt my feelings, Joseph. Not cool, brat.”

“Uhuh, if you say so.”

“Jesus, someone’s mouthy today.”

Joseph looked closely at his father’s face, expecting him to mad or annoyed but, surprisingly, he was simply smiling along with the rest of them. “So, I think that since we sadly have to go meet the rest of our lot in a bit, we should hurry up and do the things we really want and then get going.”

Mr. Vidal nodded. “Sounds good.”

* * *

  
Despite them saying they wouldn’t take a while, they were still late to meet everyone on the beach. They hadn’t bothered to buy them ice cream either. They were all so going to get it.

Emilio licked up the ice cream that was dripping down the side of his cone as they finally made it to the spot on the beach where everyone was. He was truly exhausted.

“Aw, where’s mine?” Linda whined.

Shrugging, Emilio said “Not my problem.”

Joseph ran up to his mother, handing her the whale. “Look! I won this for you!”

A radiant smile lit her face. “Thank you, baby! I love it! It’s so cute!” She hugged it close, then dragged Joseph into a hug, kissing him.

“Oh and you can have the rest of my ice cream,” Joseph said handing her the cone of strawberry.

Emilio sat himself down next to Maria. “Did you guys have fun? Did you ride the huge rollercoaster?” She asked.

He shook his head vehemently. “No way! You crazy? But Mr. Kavinsky and Venc did.”

“You missed out. It was so much fun! And Alicia didn’t pee this time, so that made it even better.”

“Maria!” Alicia looked like she wanted to melt into the floor.

Joseph laughed. “We kind of already know the story. Emilio told us.”

“Emilio!”

Joseph’s father jumped in as he stretched out beside Mrs. Kavinsky. “Ya, the story made me get worried about Venc when I was sitting next to him. So worried he was gonna piss in the car.”

“Oh my god… You people just never shut up…” Venc muttered into his hands.

“The good news is,” Emilio added, “That he didn’t pee on himself. But he came close.”

“Did not!”

Joseph smirked, all Emilio could think was that he looked just like his father in that moment, “Weak bladders aren’t a good thing, Venc. You should probably get that checked. Just in case.”

Everyone broke into laughter, although Emilio noticed that Mr. Dobrev simply shook his head. Ms. Nikol raised an eyebrow at Joseph. “You’re going to end up nasty like your daddy, aren’t you?”

Mr. Kavinsky flipped her off. “Something wrong with me?

Ms. Nikol rolled her eyes. “Oh, no. Of course not.”

“I hope you meant that sarcastically, mayko.” Andrey muttered.

Emilio looked at Andrey in surprise – that seemed really disrespectful for a child to say. It also seems he wasn’t the only one to think that as Mr. Yulian slapped Andrey on the back of his head. “Respect, Andrey.”

Andrey rubbed his head in pain and annoyance. “Sorry, Tetíncho Ivo,” he muttered.

“No problem, kid,” he waved his hand in dismissal.

“Did you guys check out the aquarium yet?” his mother asked.

“Not yet but me and Joseph were wondering if you could take us, Mr. Dobrev?” He turned to look at Joseph’s grandfather. “Papa and Mr. Kavinsky said they’re tired.”

Mr. Dobrev smiled. “I’d love to, Emilio. Would anyone else like to join us?”

Ivet jumped in. “Me! I love fish.”

Andrey scrunched his nose. “That’s a stupid thing to love.”

Ivet stuck out her tongue. “Nobody cares what you think.”

“What is with everyone being nasty today?” Mr. Dobrev looked at them all in disappointment. “The only who haven’t been are the ladies, minus Ivet now, and Mr. Vidal. For shame, the rest of you.”

Emilio felt himself blushing and realized Joseph was too. They both knew that his father had actually ran his mouth today too.

Mr. Kavinsky choked down a laugh. “Nah, tust, just the ladies. Raul had quite a bit to say today.”

Emilio’s mother lifted her eyebrows in surprise and turned to her husband. “Oh?”

His father tried to dismiss it. “It was nothing, forget it.”

“See, it was nothing but you made a huge fucking issue for no reason.” Mr. Kavinsky said. Emilio hoped they weren’t about to open this up all over again.

Mrs. Kavinsky looked down at the stretched out form of her husband beside her. “What’d you do?”

“Who said it was my fault?”

“Because Raul there is the prime example of class and manners. So what’d you do?” She paused a minute then looked at Joseph. His eyes went wide and his face began to turn red. “What’d he do, Joseph?”

He bit his lip from his nerves. “Uh…”

Venc interrupted. “It’s all fixed and we’re all good now, Lady Vesela. It was just a silly thing.”

Emilio’s father also chimed in. “Really, Vesela, it isn’t worth bringing up.”

His mother stared at his father. “I have to say that I’m really interested in knowing what happened that you would become disrespectful.”

“It was nothing, mom. We should just let it go.” Emilio said quickly.

Mr. Dobrev gazed between Mr. Kavinsky and Emilio’s father. Mr. Yulian also did so. “Did Ivo threaten to cut your tongue out?”

Everyone eyes went huge with shock. Joseph blushed heavily and Mrs. Kavinsky looked down at her husband with anger. “You what?”

“You take his word like he was actually there.” Joseph’s father muttered.

“Joseph, did he?”

Looking down at the towel under him, Joseph nodded his head.

Mrs. Kavinsky worked her jaw in anger. “You’re so fucking unbelievable, Ivo.”

“I’d say he’s more predictable because he threatens that to anyone who talks shit about him.” Mr. Yulian noted.

“We’ve moved on, Vesela,” his father insisted. “I said things I should have not. Really, it is nothing. I’ve heard worse.”

Mr. Dobrev interrupted. “Boys and girl,” he nodded to Ivet, “Let’s go to the aquarium? Actually why don’t Andrey, Anka, and Linda join us?” Emilio noticed he was trying to avoid having the children hearing the conversation.

“Sounds good, dyádo!” Joseph jumped up. “Can we get something from the gift shop?”

“We’ll see when we get there. Come along,” he nodded to the others he named. “Let’s go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband


	39. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Requests, chats, questions, suggestions [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)  
> Enjoy!
> 
> Bulg Song Rec:  
> Tuk I Tam by Young BB Young, Krisko, Yanko Brasnaria

They walked in after getting a map from the entrance. His grandfather had named Andrey their official guide; Joseph had no clue why and saw it as slightly unfair. He was also slightly jealous.

“The first section is Glover Reef,” Andrey said, reading the map in his hand. He pointed off to the side, “That way.”

Walking in the general direction he pointed, they came upon a huge glass wall, with beautiful animals swimming inside. “Whoa…” Joseph breathed. “They’re so pretty!

“Look, a manta ray!” Anka pointed.

“Actually, this says it’s a cownose ray,” Ivet corrected. “And that,” she pointed to an eel wriggling past, “is a green moray.”

“Ivet,” Andrey said.

“What?”

“You’re right. Fish are awesome.” He was looking in awe at the colorful fish swimming to and fro in front of them.

She replied with a simple smile. “Duh.”

“This is so cool!” Emilio bounced. “You guys ready for the next room?”

They all nodded. Andrey looked up at their grandfather. “Dyádo? Can we go see the sea lion show? It’s in a little bit but we should go now so we can get good seats.”

“There’s a show?” Anka said excitedly. “Dyádo, please?”

He smiled at them. “Of course. I’m sure it’ll be quite the sight to watch.”

“Yes!” Ivet shouted. She blushed when all the people in the room with them stared at her odd. “Excuse me,” she muttered.

“You’re a dork,” Joseph laughed.

Emilio laughed. “Don’t worry, though, we all are. It’s way better that way.”

Andrey cut in, “I’m not a dork. I’m the coolest out of all of you guys.”

“Actually, I think Joseph is cooler,” Emilio said. “Your kind of rude and mean sometimes. That doesn’t make you cool.”

Joseph felt his cheeks become heated. He always wanted someone to think he was cool. Now, he had his best friend thinking he was cooler than Andrey – the one with more friends than Joseph could even imagine. It didn’t get better than that.

His grandfather interrupted what would soon be an ugly argument. “Why must one be better than the other. Can’t we all simply enjoy the other’s company?”

“Sorry, Mr. Dobrev,” Emilio said. “You’re right.”

“Thank you, Emilio.” He turned his gaze to his eldest grandchild. “Well?”

Andrey looked at the floor, “My bad, dyádo.”

Nodding, his grandfather replied with a thank you. “Now run off to the aquatheater and save some good seats, yes? This old man is going to have to follow a bit slower.”

Andrey’s face lit with a smile. “Okay.” He turned and looked and Ivet, challenge alight. “Race you?”

She laughed. “You feel like losing today, huh? No problem, Mr. Simeonov. I’m gonna enjoy beating you.”

“Wait! I want to race too!” Linda jumped in. “I’m the best runner.”

“She actually is,” Emilio said. “She’s super fast.”

Andrey looked at her, excitement in his gaze. “Oh ya? Fast, huh? Ivet gets slow some times. It’ll be nice to have a fresh challenger.”

“Let’s go outside and me and Emilio will start you guys,” Joseph said. He pulled Linda closer and whispered, “Make sure he loses, please.”

She smiled at him. “No problem, Joseph.”

* * *

  
“On your marks,” Joseph said, standing on the edge of the crack they decided would be the starting line.

On the other side, Emilio said “Get set…” He pointed to Anka, standing next to Joseph.

“GO!” She shouted with excitement.

The three runners pelted off. Joseph, Emilio, Anka, and even his grandfather craned their necks to see who was going to win.

And man, was Linda fast.

Ivet and Andrey were generally well matched when they raced. They were both fast too but Linda was something else. She ran like she had a pack of dogs behind her. Linda reached the entrance to the aquatheater about a couple feet ahead of Ivet, who just barely beat Andrey.

Joseph and Emilio jumped in happiness. “Nice job, Linda!” They shouted together.

Walking, the rest of their group made it to the entrance and followed the runners in. The aquatheater was pretty, with two pools in the middle and a couple odd stands too. The bleachers surrounded the pools and there were a few empty seats still empty up front.

Dashing down, they all sat themselves front and almost center. Joseph was buzzing with excitement. “This is going to be so cool!”

Emilio was sitting next to him and leaned over so his mouth was near Joseph’s ear. He could feel his face going hot from how Emilio’s breath tickled his ear. He whispered to Joseph “I just want you to know that I still think you’re way more cooler than Andrey could ever be.”

Joseph turned his head, their faces so close to one another. “Really?”

Emilio smiled – it was like a beam of sunshine. “Really.”

“Pay attention, guys,” Ivet startled them. “They’re going to start.”

They gazed at each other for a little longer and Joseph thought about how pretty Emilio’s eyes were. He wondered what was going through Emilio’s brain.

* * *

  
What was going through Emilio’s brain was that he really wanted to taste those lips. He was so close. Emilio had no clue if he was a little young for his mind to be thinking about kissing but that was all that filled his brain right now.  
Swallowing, he flicked one last gaze to Joseph’s full mouth and turned himself away, gazing out at the pools, waiting for the show to start. He felt Joseph also turn back and look out at the pools as they waited.

* * *

  
They ran to where their families were sitting on the beach after finishing all the exhibits at the aquarium. Mr. Dobrev followed behind them, taking his time and enjoying his walk.

Emilio tackled his father down where he sat. “Oof,” his father huffed out.

“It was so cool, papa! All the fish were beautiful!” He looked at Maria and Alicia, “You guys should have come. You would’ve had fun.”

“Well, I thought it would get interesting over here but they shut up after you guys left,” Alicia muttered. She ducked her head I embarrassment when Mr. Kavinsky flicked his hat off his face where he lay and looked at her.

Joseph sat down beside his mother; Emilio had come to notice that given the choice between his parents, Joseph would pick his mom before his dad. He wondered why.

“Mayko, do you want to hear about the sea lion show?” Joseph asked eagerly. “And the walruses?”

She smiled down at him. Emilio also had come to notice how his parents treated him almost with careful hands. That had been explicitly apparent when Joseph’s father and Venc were going to ride the rollercoaster. He hadn’t understood what they were saying but he felt as though Mr. Kavinsky was asking Joseph for permission to go.

Another thing he wondered. It probably had a similar reason for why he wouldn’t come over if only Emilio’s father was home. Or if he was, his mother had to be too.

“I’d love to, baby.” Mrs. Kavinsky answered as she yanked Joseph into her lap.

“Aye! Mayko, I’m too big to be sitting in laps. You and dyádo don’t seem to get that.”

“Pft, baby is definitely right,” Andrey disdained as Mr. Kavinsky sat up and looked at Joseph closely. He even pulled off his sunglasses.

Joseph glanced at his father warily and bit his lip. Why is he so worried? It was almost like he was afraid. “Something wrong, tatko?”

“Too big, huh?” Mr. Kavinsky said.

“Umm…ya?”

Joseph made a noise of surprise as Mr. Kavinsky yanked Joseph into his lap. “Or maybe her lap is just too small.”

He sat surprised and stiff in his father’s lap. Emilio, and his family he realized, didn’t understand why everyone was looking at Mr. Kavinsky in surprise. Only Venc and Ivet weren’t. Out of everyone, Mrs. Kavinsky looked the most shocked.

Wrapping his arms around Joseph and adjusting him in his lap, Mr. Kavinsky tilted his head down as Joseph tilted his head up. “So? Walruses? Those are pretty huge aren’t they?”

Joseph continued to stare in surprise until he must have realized he hadn’t answered. He made himself comfortable in his father’s lap, relaxing slightly. “Um… ya. They can actually weigh up to 4,500 pounds but most don’t reach that. I think the biggest was 5,000 pounds.”

Mr. Kavinsky whistled. Emilio agreed – he didn’t think walruses weighed so much. “Those are some fat motherfuckers.”

Mr. Dobrev cleared his throat at the word use but Joseph’s father ignored him as Joseph answered with a smile. “Yup. The ones we saw weren’t that huge but they were still pretty big. If they sat on me, I’d definitely die of suffocation.”

“I should’ve went with you guys,” Venc muttered from where he was lying down.

Linda looked over at him, blushing before she even spoke. She was so smitten that it was ridiculous. But then, Emilio felt like sometimes he looked like the lovesick dork when he spoke to Joseph. “You definitely should have. You would have enjoyed it with me.” She blushed heavily as Maria laughed at her. “I mean us!” Linda corrected quickly.

Mr. Kavinsky broke into laughter, closing his eyes and resting his head on Joseph’s. “Oh, Jesus. God help her when you take off your shirt to swim, Venc. She’s going to faint.”

Laughing, Emilio breathed “Guess you can’t go swimming, Venc. You and Linda can enjoy sitting and talking to each other - quality time together.”

“Again, I hate every single one of you guys,” Venc muttered.

Mr. Kavinsky smiled over at Emilio and stuck out his fist for a bump. “Damn good one, kid.”

Emilio beamed. Getting praise from one of the coolest guys ever felt really good. He bumped fists and noticed all the scars on Joseph’s father’s. “Why do you have so much scars on your knuckles?” Emilio asked curiously.

“Emilio,” his father said from behind him.

Mr. Kavinsky examined his knuckles. “No, it’s fine,” he said to Emilio’s father. Looking to Emilio, he said brightly “That’s from all the times I break them on people’s faces. After breaking their face first, of course.”

Mr. Dobrev hissed in disproval. “How hard is it to just close that mouth of yours? One of these days, Ivo, I swear I will have it sewn shut.”

Laughing, Mr. Kavinsky replied “I thought we weren’t supposed to get morbid.” He looked at Emilio again. “Would you like to know a hypothetical something?” He used air quotes when he said hypothetical.

“Okay, I guess.” For some reason, Emilio was nervous. He didn’t feel comfortable anymore. The smile Mr. Kavinsky wore was kind of freaking him out.

Looking at Emilio’s father, he said “This is a hypothetical something, you hear?”

Emilio looked at the way that his father was grinding his teeth. “Hypothetical so I can’t arrest your ass?”

He felt his eyes widen. His mother and sisters were also staring at him in shock. Venc raised his head and stared at Mr. Kavinsky, shaking his head furiously. Mr. Dobrev looked like he was going to burst, while Emilio’s grandma looked carefully at Mr. Kavinsky like she just saw the devil incarnated. Mrs. Kavinsky had her head in her hands, with Joseph looking down uncomfortably down into his lap.

His family was shocked by the language and hate in his father’s voice. But they also didn’t understand why his father would talk about arresting Mr. Kavinsky – they had never told them what he worked.

“Oh, you would love that wouldn’t you?” Mr. Kavinsky delighted. Something told Emilio he was having a lot of fun with this. He wondered if he could just change the subject and they would move on. “Does it give your Puerto Rican dick a boner to think of me in cuffs?” He laughed, “Kinky as fuck, Raul.”

“My lord!” Venc begged. “Shut up!”

Emilio’s father was red with anger. He was going to explode any minute now. And he wasn’t the only one.

“Ivo,” Mr. Dobrev said threateningly. A powerful, terrifying tone coming from the large man. Emilio thought he was the type of man who never got angry. He was definitely wrong. “If that mouth of yours opens once more…” He left the sentence unfinished in threat.

Emilio felt bad for Joseph who looked like he really wanted to leave his father’s lap. But Mr. Kavinsky had his arm wrapped around his waist and unless Joseph planned on shoving said arm, he was stuck.

Mr. Kavinsky smiled at Joseph’s grandfather. “Do tell, Timotei, what you’ll do. I’m quite curious.” He turned back to Emilio, with that freakish smile and absolute delight running through his eyes. “Now, what I was going to say before everyone got so damn pissy, was that sewing people’s mouths is actually quite easy. You get a nice thick needle – the curved ones that they use for upholstery.” He paused for a second, “Do you know which ones I’m talking about?”

Emilio nodded his head. He really, really wanted this conversation to end. And the most surprising person ended it.

Joseph.

He turned and clasped his father’s mouth shut with his hand. Emilio noticed he was trembling as he did. “No one wants to hear it, tatko. It’s not amusing for people to be abused and tortured. So stop.”

Everyone stared in silence at father and son. Mrs. Kavinsky looked genuinely terrified as if Joseph rebuking his father was the worst thing in the world. But then, maybe it was.

Mr. Kavinsky stared in shock at Joseph, then raised his hand and removed Joseph’s own from his mouth. His voice was a scary calm. “If you ever do that again, you fuc-”

“Tatko, it’s not funny getting hurt by other people,” Joseph interrupted. His voice was broken and Emilio could have sworn he saw tears building in his eyes.

It was as if Mr. Kavinsky, and everyone else of the family, suddenly realized something. His demeanor changed entirely and he let go of Joseph’s hand. He hugged Joseph softly, and he said ever so carefully “I forgot. I shouldn’t have kept going.” He rubbed Joseph’s back soothingly and kissed his forehead. There must have been tears in Joseph’s eyes because his father wiped them for him. “My bad, brat.”

Joseph bit his lip and looked into his father’s face. “Can you take us swimming?”

“Of course,” he smiled sweet and genuine. Mr. Kavinsky looked towards Emilio. “Down for some swimming?”  
Emilio had never been so confused in his life.

* * *

  
“Maybe you just weren’t made to swim,” Joseph laughed, a smile a light on his face as Emilio coughed up some water.

Ivo was grateful the smile was back. He had actually felt guilty after he understood why Joseph wanted him to stop. It must have taken so much will power for Joseph to actually shut Ivo up. He had felt the tremble in his child’s hand as he had grasped Ivo’s mouth.

“Emilio,” Ivo said, “You’re a lost cause, kid.”

He laughed from his place on Venc’s back. “Not everyone was made to swim, Mr. Kavinsky.”

“You especially.” He glanced down at his watch, “We should probably go dry out. We’re going to leave in a bit.”

Joseph nodded in agreement. “I’m starting to get a little cold anyways.”

Reaching the beach, they shook off as much as water as they could, then began the walk back.

“Mr. Kavinsky?” Emilio began.

Ivo gave a quick glance in his direction. “What up.”

“Thank you for inviting us today. It was a lot of fun.”

Ivo stopped for Emilio to catch up to his longer strides and ruffled his wet hair when he reached him. “No problem, anytime. Also, you need a haircut.”

He laughed and smiled up at Ivo. “I’ll shave my head if you shave yours.”

“Dun, dun, dun…” Venc said behind him. “He won’t do it, Emilio. He loves his hair too much.”

“Tell you what,” Ivo started. “You shave your head and I’ll shave Joseph’s.”

“Hey!” Joseph shouted indignantly, rubbing his hair. “I like my hair, thank you.”

“I like it too but Emilio needs a haircut and we gotta bribe him with something.”

“We should just make Venc bald,” Joseph said as they came up to everyone.

Linda looked shocked. “Why? I like his hair.”

Venc covered his head, “No way in motherfucking hell. Don’t any of you dare try to touch me or my amazing hair.”

Ivo laughed at the color Timotei’s face turned. Man, was he in for it whenever they ended up alone. And that had a very large chance of happening easily by the fact that they saw each other constantly.

“Did you learn to swim?” Maria asked.

“He’s unteachable,” Ivo mumbled from under his shirt as he slipped it back on. He didn’t want to ruin his hat by putting it on his wet hair. Hopefully, Joseph was smart enough not to either.

“Or maybe you’re a terrible teacher,” Nikol muttered as she read a book, resting against Yulian. Jesus, how he hated both of them – just the sight of them generally bothered him. The good thing was that the feeling was mutual. He didn’t have to put up with them anymore than he had too.

Sitting down, he pulled Vesela to him and kissed her beautiful, delicious mouth. Too bad it couldn’t last. And he knew she wasn’t going to give him any love when they go home. She was pissed even if she wasn’t showing it at the moment.

Joseph laid down next to him, closing his eyes as he dried out. He must have felt Ivo’s gaze because he opened his eyes and stared at him curiously. “Yes, tatko?”

He actually was just looking; he didn’t have anything to say but Ivo decided he might as well say something. “Enjoy today?”

His face blossomed into a smile. “It was fantastic! Thank you for bringing us. I had lots of fun.”

Ivo smiled. It definitely had been enjoyable. Especially bothering Raul. And, surprisingly, spending time with Joseph. Ivo noticed that as time went on, he started to enjoy days with Joseph more than he used to. Maybe it was because he was getting older.

Maybe the child he never wanted would make the years to come some of the happiest ones of his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband


	40. Chapter 39

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
>  
> 
> So there's a new story in the series! It was prompt so I set up a story where I'll put any and all prompts I write - you guys just have to ask for some scene, something that you'd like to see, maybe a chapter in someone else's pov. All you have to do is ask. You can ask anonymously if your shy and you don't need a tumblr
> 
> Also in case this needs to be clarified, Emilio is a child with a crush. The boy doesn't have a hard-on. Having crushes are entirely normal.
> 
> With that said, Enjoy the story and today's chapter!

The end of the summer came and went as school opened up once more. Surprisingly, Joseph didn’t feel the loneliness he always felt. He still didn’t have friends at school but he wasn’t bullied either. Well, at least, not yet. He went to school, learned, worked, and went home. If anything, it was slightly redundant but he wasn’t complaining.

He had Peanut when he needed company and him and Emilio would go to each other’s houses often. Which is where Emilio was today. Well, Emilio, Maria, Alicia, and Linda. Mrs. Vidal was having her baby today and Mr. Vidal and Emilio’s grandma were with her in the hospital. They were even going to sleep here. Apparently, having babies can take a while.

Joseph’s mother popped her head into Joseph’s doorway, addressing everyone. “How about some kind of takeout for dinner? I’m not going to lie, I don’t feel like cooking.”

Maria looked up from the book she was reading in the corner. “That’d be great, Mrs. Kavinsky, thank you.”

“Can we get Chinese?” Emilio asked. Joseph nodded, thinking Chinese sounded delicious.

His mother thought for a minute. “Okay, Chinese sounds good.” She looked at the girls, “Good?” They all nodded their consent. “Okay, I’m gonna go get ready and then go. Maria’s in charge until I get back.” She pointed at Emilio then Joseph. “Don’t drive her crazy.”

Joseph made a face of innocence. “Mayko, we would never!” Rolling her eyes, she left and walked to her room.

After his mother had gotten ready, she said a goodbye and a behave and left. All of them sat and worked on whatever they had in silence.

“Hey, Joseph?” Linda spoke up. “Do you have a stapler? I want to staple my essay together.”

“I’m pretty sure there’s one in my dad’s office, hold up.” Carefully pushing Peanut off his lap, Joseph stood up to go downstairs. He tilted his head as Emilio stood too.

“I need water.” Emilio smiled.

“Uhuh,” Joseph mumbled sarcastically. He noticed how Emilio was always curious about anything that had to do with his father. His office was somewhere he hadn’t gotten to see yet.

Peanut followed as they walked downstairs. She actually followed Joseph everywhere, that sometimes, he wouldn’t notice her and trip. One of these days, he was either going to hurt her or himself.

Opening the door to his father’s office, Joseph flicked on the light. Emilio stood behind him, curiosity alight in his eyes. Joseph walked over to one of the cabinets. “I think the stapler is in one of the drawers…”

“Can I help look or should I not touch?”

Joseph turned and looked at Emilio. “What do you think?”

“I probably shouldn’t touch.”

Turning back to the drawer, Joseph replied “Obviously.”

He turned his head in the direction of the garage when he heard the door opening. Joseph was pretty sure it wasn’t possible to get food that fast, which meant his father was home. He went into his father’s office all the time but he wasn’t sure that Emilio should be here.

“Maybe you should get your water now?” Joseph suggested as the connecting door opened. _Too late… Fingers crossed he won’t be upset. Couple prayers never hurt either._

“Vesela?” His father called out as he walked in wearing his usual attire of a black suit. Joseph had asked him one time why he didn’t wear any other color and his father had simply replied “Because.”

He had thought that it was a stupid way to answer but there was no way he would ever actually say it out loud.

Joseph called from the office. “She’s not here, tatko!” Spying the stapler, Joseph pulled it out and shut the drawer. “Found it!”

Emilio turned as Joseph’s father stood in the doorway. “Hi, Mr. Kavinsky.”

“Emilio,” his father said, confusion in his eyes. He looked at Joseph, “You guys are here alone?”

“No. Maria, Alicia, and Linda are upstairs. Maria’s in charge until mayko comes.”

“And they’re here because…”

Emilio spoke up. “I guess Mrs. Kavinsky didn’t tell you? We’re all sleeping here today.”

His father stared at Emilio, a blank look on his face. “Sleeping here?”

“Uh… Mrs. Vidal is having her baby, tatko.” Joseph said.

His father nodded his head as he leaned against the doorframe. “My prayers for her then. So, if they’re upstairs, why are you two down here? In here, particularly.”

“Linda needed a stapler,” Emilio piped.

“And it takes two to get a stapler?”

Joseph bit his lip, “Um… no but-”

“I came down for water,” Emilio interrupted. “And then I came to wait for Joseph after I drank.”

He wasn’t sure what would have been worse – telling his father the truth or a lie. His father had a nose for liars; he could sniff them out in seconds.

His father stared at Emilio, “Well, you guys shouldn’t keep Linda waiting.” He moved to the side, out of the doorway. “Off you go.”

It was too early for Joseph to breathe a sigh of relief. As he was about to walk out after Emilio, his father grabbed his shoulder and uttered in Bulgarian, “Next time you need something, get it yourself.”

He looked up at his father’s expressionless face. “Okay and sorry.”

“Fuck off,” his father whispered.  
Joseph turned his gaze to the floor and walked off after Emilio who was waiting by the stairs. “Are you in trouble?” Emilio whispered, voice full of concern.

“It’s nothing, don’t worry about it,” Joseph replied as he walked up the stairs, Peanut trailing behind them. Getting told to fuck off was nothing compared to what his father did when Joseph was really in trouble.

* * *

  
“Chopsticks are stupid,” muttered Alicia. She had been trying for the past five minutes to pick up a piece of beef and hadn’t been successful.

“That’s cause you’re using them wrong,” Emilio said.

Alicia looked at the paper again. “No, I’m holding it how it shows.” She adjusted her fingers again, just in case.

Emilio picked up one of his chopsticks and wrapped his hand around it. “See you get it like this and then,” he stabbed the chopstick into one of the pieces of meat, “you stab it. And there!” He held up his catch in triumph.

“Or you can be like a normal person and eat with a fork if you can’t use chopsticks,” Linda mumbled around a mouthful. She yelped when Maria kicked her under the table.

“Don’t talk with your mouth full.”

“And this why I didn’t have more kids,” his father muttered.

All Joseph could think about was the fact that his father didn’t really want him anyways, not to want more. He pushed around his food; it smelled delicious and looked even more so but he just couldn’t eat. Joseph felt sick with just the thought of putting food in his mouth.

It wasn’t odd, it happened sometimes because of his medicine but it just felt worse than usual. And he was feeling dizzy too. He had been fine earlier but maybe the thought of eating and the smell of food made him nauseas.

“You’re not eating?” Emilio noticed with concern. Sometimes it bugged Joseph how often Emilio got concerned about something. It could just be because Joseph wasn’t entirely used to having someone outside of his family worried for him.

Shrugging, he replied “I’m not very hungry.”

“But you haven’t eaten for a while. You didn’t eat lunch either.”

His mother turned and looked at him. “I thought you finished your lunch?”

Joseph shook his head, caught in what he thought had been a successful deception. “I wasn’t hungry. I gave it to Alicia.”

“Then you need to finish that,” she pointed towards his plate. “You need to put something in your stomach.”

He huffed and moved his noodles around some more. “I’m really not hungry, mayko.”

“Eat half and we’ll call it good.”

Joseph made a face as he looked down at his plate. Curling some noodles on his fork, he shoved them in his mouth and swallowed. His stomach churned in rebellion. He didn’t even think half the plate was possible.

The Vidal’s continued their chatter as Joseph stared at his plate and his mother watched him as she ate hers. His father was lost in his thoughts as he looked down at his plate, occasionally taking a bite.

Stuffing another few mouthfuls, Joseph realized his stomach wasn’t going to take it anymore. “Mayko, I can’t finish.”

His mother glanced at his plate, “Another bite and you’re done.”

He groaned in frustration. “I can’t. My stomach hurts.”

“One fucking bite isn’t going to kill you,” his father said, mind coming back to the present. Joseph really wished it hadn’t. He might have been able to get out of it with his mother but not with his father now paying attention.

Joseph noticed how the sibling’s conversation had died down once his father had spoken. He was pretty sure they were starting to get uncomfortable.

“Just one bite, baby. That’s it. Everything you ate doesn’t even add up to half the plate but oh well.” His mother pointed at the plate, “One. That’s all I’m asking. I’m sorry that I’m worried you didn’t eat enough today.”

If only Emilio had kept his mouth shut. Joseph had come to notice that sometimes Emilio’s mouth opened a little too often or said and asked the wrong things. This was one of those moments, even if it had started because he was worried.

“Fine.” He stabbed a chicken and a broccoli on his fork and shoved them in and swallowed. His stomach was bubbling nastily. Maybe he should go to the bathroom in case he was going to throw up.

“Wasn’t so hard, was it?” His mother muttered.

Getting out of his seat beside Emilio and his father, he pushed in his chair and was going to make his way to the restroom before he seriously did vomit.

When, of course, he did. Right at his father’s feet.

“Motherfucker!” He shouted as he jumped out of his chair; his face was filled with disgust.

Joseph couldn’t help but laugh when he noticed the remnants of chicken and broccoli in the puddle of puke. One bite

sure did hurt.

“The fuck are you laughing about? Get your ass to the fucking shower, disgusting brat.”

“Ivo,” his mother said quietly. She was probably reminding him who was sitting with them.

Joseph was definitely out of his mind right now. He felt horrible and his brain apparently decided this was a good time as any to get smart with his father. He couldn’t stop himself, his words just wanted to come out. “One bite sure did hurt. Didn’t kill me though. Guess…”

* * *

  
“…you were right about that.” Joseph coughed out.

“Excuse me?” Ivo said. He heard what was said, it was just that he couldn’t believe what had been said.

He could feel everyone’s eyes on him and didn’t need to look at Vesela to know she wanted to strangle Joseph to shut up.

“I said, that you-” He cut off when Ivo grabbed his arm.

Obviously, punishment for being a smartass couldn’t be served in front of the annoying detective’s children but that didn’t mean it couldn’t somewhere else.

“Upstairs. Now.”

Joseph eyes filled with panic; maybe his brain was waking and catching up with what his mouth had said. “Tatko-”

“Now, Joseph,” he interrupted. Joseph’s breathing started to get heavier as he was starting to get scared. Letting go of Joseph’s arm, Ivo pushed him around the disgusting pile at their feet. “Go.”

Joseph bit his lip as he turned away and trudged his way to the stairs and up. Ivo grabbed a couple and napkins and wiped whatever shit was on his socks and pants; he didn’t want to track it upstairs. Tossing the disgusting napkins on the table, he looked at the faces staring at him with eyes wide.

“Finish eating,” he muttered to them, turning to follow Joseph.

“Ivo,” Vesela said quietly continuing in Bulgarian. “Leave him be, please. He’s just not feeling well and not thinking. He wasn’t trying to be rude.”

He just huffed out a laugh at that. Ivo didn’t let strangers be rude not to let his son get away with it; feeling good or not. Walking up the stairs, he heard Joseph’s shower turn on. Probably was hoping Ivo would let it go.

He had no intention to.

Reaching Joseph’s closed door, he tried the knob but it was locked. Fine, he could wait. Ivo sat down in front of the door and waited. He didn’t know what Vesela was going to tell Raul’s kids or how she was going to keep them downstairs but it wasn’t his problem.

The only one right now was his disrespectful child.

Eventually, Joseph turned off the shower and Ivo gave him some time to get dressed. After a good fifteen minutes, he stood up and knocked. “Open the door.”

There was no reply but after a couple seconds the lock was undone. Ivo waited for the door to be opened but it never was. _Better not be locking himself in the bathroom_.

Opening the door, he walked in and looked at Joseph who was standing in the corner where Peanut’s bed was. He was worrying his lip heavily with his teeth, breathing hard and eyes filled with worry. “Tatko,” Joseph started.

Ivo put his hand up. “Don’t speak.” He shut the door behind himself and sat on the edge of Joseph’s bed. “Come here.”

Tears were starting to fill Joseph’s eyes. Those definitely wouldn’t help Ivo’s anger; there was nothing he hated more. Joseph walked slowly over until he stood face to face with Ivo, sniffling and trying to hold his tears.

Ivo grabbed some of Joseph’s hair, twisting it in his hand and pulled him closer. “Are you listening or can you not hear me over your crying, you sniveling bitch?”

Joseph winced and was about to put his hands to pull off Ivo’s but stopped in time. He knew better than that. His tears starting flowing freely and he hiccupped. But he still hadn’t answered.

Pulling harder, Ivo repeated himself. “Are you listening, I said.”

“I-I’m listening,” he hiccupped.

Pulling him to where his ear was close to Ivo’s mouth, he said “If you ever disrespect me like that again, I will beat the shit out of you. If you ever do that again in front of people, I will make it even worse. Understand?”

Joseph was fulling crying now, choking on his disgusting tears. Ivo noticed he was trying to nod but a nod sure as hell wasn’t good enough. Ivo pulled even harder, causing Joseph to cry out in pain. “I don’t like having to keep on repeating myself. Do. You. Understand. What. I. Said?”

Breaking through his sniffles and tears, Joseph mumbled “Yes, tatko.” Ivo pulled one more time. “I understand!” He said louder.

“Good. Now go clean your fucking disgusting face.” Ivo shoved Joseph in the direction of the bathroom with the handful of hair which he let go of at the end of the shove. Standing up, he walked out to go change his pants and socks.

* * *

  
Emilio smoothed out the blanket Mrs. Kavinsky gave him on the floor of Joseph’s room. His sisters were going to sleep in the guest room, while Emilio shared with Joseph.

He glanced back to the lump already curled under the blankets on the bed. Joseph had been pretty subdued after the whole throw up fiasco. Emilio had tried to get him to talk but Joseph didn’t want to. He wouldn’t even talk when Mrs. Kavinsky tried.

Feelings of guilt filled him. Maybe if he hadn’t mentioned Joseph’s plate, none of this would have happened. He didn’t actually know what happened but it definitely wasn’t good; he was able to figure out that much.

Fluffing his pillow, Emilio put it down and pulled up his blanket, wrapping himself up. He only realized after getting comfortable that he forgot the light. “Stupid,” he muttered. He looked over at Peanut curled up in her bed; Emilio had been worried she would bother him in the night but Joseph told him that if anything, she’d just curl up next to him.

“Are you smart enough to turn off the light?” he said to Peanut. “But then, I guess you’re too short anyways.”

“Are there cats who turn off lights?”

Emilio jumped when he heard Mr. Kavinsky. In all honesty, Emilio was a little scared of him nowadays. Sometimes, he just freaked him out. “Um… I guess I don’t actually know.”

Mr. Kavinsky nodded as he stood. He flicked his gaze to the lump that was Joseph on the bed then back to Emilio. “Ready for bed?”

Nodding, Emilio lay back down, making himself comfortable all over again, when he thought of something. “Mr. Kavinsky? If my mom has my sister in the middle of the night will you guys wake us or wait till morning?” Him and his sisters had talked to their father a little while ago and still no baby. It was, according to Maria, a harder birth than usual. He had gotten worried when she said that but Mrs. Kavinsky had said that every birth was different and they shouldn’t fret.

He shrugged his shoulders, “Probably wait until morning. Nothing you can do about it anyways if you found out in the middle of the night.”

“Ya, I guess not.” Emilio didn’t really like that answer. “I’m ready, I guess. Good night.”

Before he shut off the light, Mr. Kavinsky walked over to a wall plug and plugged in a night light. Emilio didn’t know Joseph used one, but then, Emilio realized that he actually barely knew anything about Joseph. He wasn’t sure why though; they hung out all the time and yet Joseph knew more of Emilio than Emilio knew of Joseph.

He should fix that.

Mr. Kavinsky stood and stared at the lump on the bed. He walked to Joseph, who Emilio noticed, stiffened. _Guess he isn’t actually asleep. I totally thought he was._

Joseph’s father leaned over and kissed the blanket where Joseph’s head was. “Good night,” Mr. Kavinsky whispered.

Joseph didn’t answer; he just curled tighter in on himself. Mr. Kavinsky kissed him again, straightened and looked at Emilio. “Sleep well.”

And with that he shut the light off as he walked out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband


	41. Chapter 40

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chat, suggest, complain, prompt [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> Only one day left (tomorrow) and then we're back to the normal updating schedule which is Sundays and Thursdays.
> 
> Enjoy reading!  
> P.S. A new tag was added

He awoke to the sun shining in his room. Looking down to the floor, Joseph wasn’t surprised that Emilio was already up. Glancing to his clock, he read the time: 10 A.M.

That was actually pretty late for Joseph to sleep in and yet he didn’t want to get up. He just felt like moving was a waste of time. He wasn’t actually tired and had slept the whole night and yet he had no energy.

Joseph was just feeling…bleh.

His head ached both from a normal headache and from where his father had yanked his hair yesterday. And his stomach was still feeling nauseas. Wrapping himself tighter, Joseph pulled the blanket over his head and shut his eyes.

* * *

 

“She’s so cute!” Emilio delighted as he looked at the picture Maria had taken of their new baby sister. “But you guys should have woken me so I could’ve gone with you. Totally not fair.”

“It was 7 in the morning, Emilio, and we were lucky they even let us in that early,” Linda said.

Vesela had gotten the call at five in the morning from Raul saying that finally Alondra had been born. She was thoroughly excited for Claudia; she genuinely liked her and it was nice actually having a friend from both outside of the mob and high school.

At around six, she had gotten up to get water and found Maria downstairs sitting on the couch. Vesela had told her to round up her sisters and they would go see the baby. She would take the boys later but they did make sure to take lots of pictures.

They were sitting around the table eating breakfast. They had waited for Joseph to come down but when it turned 10 and he still hadn’t, they decided to eat. Vesela was worried; Joseph generally just moved on when his father punished him, especially when he didn’t actually get hit.

She glanced for the umpteenth time at the stairs, expecting to see her baby walking down them but no one was there. Worry was eating at her.

“Excuse me a minute, guys,” Vesela said as she stood. Might as well check on him; maybe he just had a bad night and was making up on his sleep. For some reason, though, she didn’t believe that.

“Sit and finish your plate, I’ll go wake him,” Ivo said as he stood, grabbing his empty plate to put in the sink.

It’d be a lie if she said she wasn’t a little nervous about that. But she sat back down; Vesela couldn’t make it an issue in front of the children. She noticed she wasn’t the only one worried – that definitely bothered her.

“That’s okay, Mr. Kavinsky,” Emilio piped up, shoving giant mouthfuls of food quickly into his mouth to empty his plate and swallowing. “I’m finished and I’m going to go brush my teeth, so I got it.” He stood quickly, nearly knocking over his chair, grabbed his plate from the table and beat Ivo to the sink.

Ivo stared at Emilio; he had also seen the worry in Emilio’s eyes and most likely hated it. “I’ll go with you. I’m headed to my room anyways.”

Vesela could tell Emilio wasn’t happy about that. It had been incredibly awkward in making everything seem normal last night after Ivo cursed at and practically threatened Joseph. Emilio had constantly looked upstairs after Ivo until Maria kicked him under the table. Linda had tried to make conversation but everyone went quiet when the shower turned off.

She was worried by the fact that she had four children listening for the sounds of a possible beating. Vesela wasn’t sure if that’s what they were actually listening for but there was a damn good chance – Claudia’s kids were brilliant.

After Ivo had come back downstairs, Emilio had run up. The girls also went up but they tried to make it seem as though they were simply getting something they forgot in Joseph’s room. Vesela knew they were checking if there were any signs of abuse that they could see.

Thankfully, there wasn’t. Vesela had gone up after the girls had eventually come down but Joseph had refused to talk to her. She checked him every which way for bruises or something but there weren’t any to be seen.  
She had come to the conclusion that Ivo hadn’t hurt him. But then again, Ivo was very good at hurting where it didn’t show.

“Um, okay.” Emilio attempted a smile to hide his worry but, boy, was he doing a bad job of it. If Vesela was able to read everything on his face, then Ivo could read twice as much.

* * *

 

Emilio pissed Ivo off. He was going to be just like his father, if he wasn’t already.

Walking up the stairs with Emilio trailing behind him, Ivo knocked on Joseph’s door when he reached it. “Joseph?” He murmured.

There was no answer. Knocking again, he opened the door and walked in. “Joseph?” His eye caught on the lump wrapped up on the bed. It looked like he hadn’t moved since last night. Peanut was curled up beside him, grooming herself, occasionally giving a lick to the blanket where Joseph was.

He turned to Emilio who was still standing. “I thought you were going to brush your teeth?”

“Um, ya. Ya, I’m going.” He gave one last glance to Joseph then walked to the bathroom, shutting the door behind himself.

Ivo walked over to Joseph and sat on the edge of the bed. He nudged his shoulder, “Anyone home?”

Joseph didn’t even budge.

It wasn’t like Joseph to hold a grudge when he was punished; he understood the fact that he was punished for doing wrong and then moved on. Ivo didn’t understand why he was acting so odd.

He leaned over, wrapping himself around Joseph, with his head on Joseph’s. Joseph didn’t stiffen which meant that whatever was bugging him didn’t necessarily have to do with Ivo. “Joseph?” He murmured.

Ivo felt Joseph move under him; brown eyes peeked out from under the blanket and stared at him.

“Emilio didn’t come over for you to spend the day in bed, you know.”

Joseph blinked slowly at him. “I don’t feel well.”

Slowly, Ivo pulled the blanket off Joseph’s face and brushed his hair out of the way, “Well, you haven’t taken your pill yet, so that could be it.”

“What’s the pill for?” Emilio asked, standing in the doorway to the bathroom.

Ivo rolled his eyes in annoyance. This kid needed to learn when curiosity was a bad thing. Turning his head, he replied “Emilio?”

“Yes, Mr. Kavinsky?”

“Your father is a very smart man and yet he seemed to have unsuccessfully taught you how to keep your questions to yourself.”

Emilio blushed and ducked his head in embarrassment. “Sorry,” he mumbled.

“That’s not what I’m talking about, tatko,” Joseph whispered. “I mean, maybe that’s why my stomach is all bubbly but I’m not talking about that.”

Walking over, Emilio plopped himself beside Joseph and laid down next to him. “What do you mean then?”

“Emilio?” Ivo started. “Can you go tell Mrs. Kavinsky to get Joseph’s medicine? I’d appreciate it.” Getting this annoying kid out of the room even for a minute would be wonderful.

He smiled. “Sure! I’ll be super quick!”

“No, please take your time,” Ivo muttered. He turned his attention back to Joseph. “So, what do you mean exactly?”

He was silent for a while, simply staring up at Ivo. Finally, Joseph bit his lip, looking at Ivo carefully as if gauging the reaction he might get. “I just- I just feel sad, I guess.”

Ivo stared at him in confusion. “Sad?”

“Whose sad?” Vesela said as she walked in carrying a cup of water and a pill. Damn, that brat was fast. Ivo was surprised that Emilio wasn’t behind her.

“How’d you manage to shake off Emilio?”

“I asked him to help his sisters clean up.” She turned her attention to Joseph as she crouched in front of him. “Here you go, sweetheart.”

Joseph sat himself up after Ivo got off of him. Taking the pill and downing it with his water, he curled himself back up after handing the cup to Vesela.

“Joseph, what’s wrong?” Vesela asked. Maybe she would get a better explanation than ‘sad.’

He peaked his eyes out once more, shrugging his shoulders and speaking quietly. “I’m just sad, mayko.”

Vesela looked at Joseph in worry and turned to look at Ivo in confusion. He simply shrugged his shoulders; he had no clue what was up. It didn’t make any more sense to him than her.

“Maybe you just need some fantastic news!” Emilio exclaimed as he came rushing in and jumping onto the bed.

Peanut meowed indignantly as she was jostled from her sleep. Ivo wanted to meow indignantly too. This kid was annoying as hell. At least he wasn’t bratty like Andrey.

Joseph didn’t move but he murmured “Fantastic news?”

Emilio leaned over Joseph, shoving his face in his. “Yes! Alondra was born this morning!”

Ivo could tell Joseph was trying to be happy for Emilio but it didn’t really come through with the half smile he gave. “Congrats on your new sister, then.”

Resting his chin on Joseph’s shoulder, Emilio asked “Do you want to see pictures? Maria took lots. Your mom took my sisters this morning. She said we can go later.”

“Sure, sounds good.” Joseph mumbled.

“Great! Mrs. Kavinsky can I see your phone, please?”

“In a little,” Ivo interrupted. “Go bug your sisters and come back in a half hour.”

“Oh, okay.” Emilio said. He smiled at Joseph. “You’re going to love her! She’s adorable, Joseph.”

“I’m sure she is,” Joseph uttered back.

“Shoo, child,” Ivo said nudging Emilio. “See you in a bit.”

Vesela rolled her eyes as she stood. “Come on, dear. He’s just going to kick me out next.”

Jumping off the bed, Emilio followed Vesela out, casting one last glance at Joseph before he shut the door.

Focusing back on Joseph, Ivo said “So, sad?”

Nodding his head, Joseph replied “Yes. I just… I don’t feel like moving or bothering with anything today. And thinking about things makes me even more sad.” He bit his lip and blinked hard.

“The fuck are you crying for, Joseph? We’re just having conversation.” Ivo said, exasperated.

“I-its nothing. I told you everything is just making me sad.” He wiped his eyes, trying to stop the tears.

Ivo stared closely at Joseph. He sounded almost like he was going through a bout of depression. Could children go through depression? He wasn’t sure about that one. He’d have to ask.

“Well, if you intend on spending the day in bed then shove Emilio under the covers with you, please. That kid is going to drive me nuts.”

He actually got a small smile out of Joseph with that. “No problem, tatko.”

Ivo laid himself down beside Joseph, hugging him close. “You know, mayko is gonna be pissed with me.”

Curling himself into Ivo, Joseph asked “Why?”

“Well first off, I left her with all those kids, although I probably would have found some excuse to do that anyways. I’m so not putting up with them. And two, because I’m pretty sure she wants to be the one laying here with you. You know how she is with all her overbearing cuddling.”

“I like mayko’s cuddling. It’s really nice and comforting.”

“Mine’s no good, huh?”

He felt Joseph press closer into his chest, rubbing his head against him. “Yours are good too. It’s less squishing.”

Smiling into Joseph’s hair, he murmured “I can squish you if you want.”

“No thanks,” Joseph said. “But a nap with you would be nice.”

Ivo wasn’t going to argue about that.

* * *

 

Emilio counted down the last minute of his half hour. It was taking forever. He was waiting at the bottom of the stairs, Mrs. Kavinsky’s phone in hand. Bouncing on the balls of his feet, Emilio was ready to pelt up to Joseph’s room the minute he could.

“3, 2, and 1!” He dashed up the stairs and up to Joseph’s door. It was still closed, so he knocked but got no answer. Trying the knob, he found it open.

Walking in, Emilio was actually surprised by the sight in front of him. Joseph and Mr. Kavinsky were curled together, sleeping. It was almost unnatural seeing Mr. Kavinsky asleep. He seemed so normal and peaceful.

There was a little room beside Joseph, so Emilio slipped under the covers, pressing close so he didn’t fall off the bed. Even though none of his sisters were staring, Emilio felt himself blush at being so close to Joseph.

“Joseph,” Emilio whispered. He outlined Joseph’s ear with his finger – it was as pretty as every other bit of Joseph. He felt him moving, “Joseph?”

Turning his head and blinking bleary-eyed, Joseph stared at Emilio and yawned. He turned his entire body and blinked at Emilio.

“Did you still want to see the pictures?” Emilio whispered. “She’s really cute and your mom said she’s going to take us in a little!”

Joseph nodded and scooted himself closer to Emilio. They both turned on their stomachs and Emilio put the phone between them opening up the pictures. “She’s really cute,” Joseph murmured.

Emilio smiled in happiness. “I can’t wait till we get to meet her. I’m kind of excited at being an older brother but I’m nervous too.”

“Why are you nervous?” Joseph asked. He wasn’t back to himself but his voice didn’t sound as sad as before.

“What if I don’t do a good job?”

Shrugging, Joseph replied “I’m sure you will be fine. It can’t be that hard can it?”

He felt something moving between them. Rolling slightly, Emilio got off of Mr. Kavinsky’s hand.

Which shoved him onto the floor.

“Hey!” He squealed as he hit the floor.

Joseph giggled as Mr. Kavinsky popped his head up. “Oops.”

Laughing, Emilio said “You did that on purpose.” He climbed back up, stuffing himself under the cover once more and squeezed himself closer than before.

Mr. Kavinsky sat up, yawning and running a hand through his hair. “I’ve no clue what you’re talking about.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband


	42. Chapter 41

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> I hope you guys have enjoyed the chapters! Next update is on Sunday.  
> Comments and kudos are appreciated and I love all of y'all!

“She’s so tiny!” Joseph exclaimed as he sat beside his mother who was holding the newest Vidal in her arms. Joseph had never actually been so close to a newborn before – he was only a year and a little when Anka was born.

Mrs. Vidal laughed. “Some babies are small and some can be huge. But she isn’t that small, Joseph. Linda was even smaller.”

He raised his eyebrows in shock. “Really?” Looking down at Alondra, he asked “Mayko? Was I this tiny when I was born?”

“Actually, you were even smaller,” his father said from where he stood across the room, hands in his pockets. Joseph had been surprised when his father said he was going to come with them. But then Joseph realized that he would have been stuck with the girls at home. His mother didn’t want to leave them by themselves for longer than an hour, so his father would have had to stay. This way, he could just leave them in the cafeteria downstairs.

Joseph looked at his father in surprise. “Even smaller than Alondra? What about Linda?”

His father shrugged his shoulders. “I’ve no clue about Linda but you were a puny 5 pounds when you were born. But then, you were early so maybe that’s why.”

“Wow, Joseph, you were really small,” Emilio said. He smiled huge then, “Not much has changed, huh?”

Everyone in the room laughed – except Joseph. He didn’t find that very funny when it was something he has been bullied about. There had been times when Tanner would simply hold Joseph’s things up and even with jumping he couldn’t reach. Or when he would hang Joseph’s bag in a tree and he would have to find a way to scramble up to grab it.

He didn’t appreciate his friend pointing it out.

Regardless, he put a small smile on his face and tried to laugh with everyone. Hopefully, he sounded genuine enough. But he could tell that they all could see that it had bothered him. It bothered him a lot; especially today when he was feeling pretty down already. This just made it worse.

“Here, Ivo, hold,” his mother said, holding out Alondra to him.

His face contorted in displeasure. “That’s alright, I’m good.”

“You should hold her, Mr. Kavinsky! She’s adorable!” Emilio piped.

“I can see her adorableness from here. I’m good.”

Standing up, his mother walked over to his father. “Hold.”

His eyes filled with annoyance; Mr. and Mrs. Vidal watched with interest at them. “Vesela,” he muttered.

“Ivo,” she raised an eyebrow in challenge.

Huffing in annoyance, he held out his arms, “Fine.”

She placed the baby in his arms and adjusted them just right. He looked so awkward holding her; uncomfortable too. After a minute of watching Alondra blink a him, he said “Fine. I’ll admit it; she’s even cuter when you’re holding her.”

“Hah! Told you!” Emilio said with glee. “Can you come sit next to me so I can see?”

His father rolled his eyes in annoyance and walked over. Sitting himself down beside Emilio, he muttered in Bulgarian “This kid…”

“Joseph, do you want to come with me to the car? I forgot my phone,” his mother asked.

His father glanced up from Alondra and spoke in Bulgarian. “I’m pretty sure I saw you put it in your bag.”

She ignored him and asked Joseph once more. “Coming?”

He looked at her and his father in confusion. “Uh, ya okay.”

“Great, I’m stuck alone in hostile territory,” his father muttered in Bulgarian.

“Be right back!” His mother said with a smile.

Walking out of the hospital, his mother dragged him to a bench and they sat down. “Mayko, why are we just sitting here?”

She looked at him carefully. “Are you okay?”

He looked at her in confusion. “Uh, I guess. Why?”

“Because when Emilio talked about your height you looked upset. It was a joke, he didn’t mean anything by it, sweetheart.”

Joseph felt his eyes welling with tears and the overwhelming sadness from earlier come back. He had no clue why he was so upset about everything today. But every little thing just ate him alive. “I get bullied enough about it, not to have my only friend mention it.”

Combing her fingers through his hair, she replied “Baby, he didn’t mean it like that. And I know you know that.”

Did he? Joseph wasn’t exactly sure he did. Maybe Emilio was a bit like Joseph’s father and was fantastic one moment only to be mean the next. He looked into his mother’s beautiful face; she’s never lied to him before. Actually, neither of his parents have ever lied to him. That was something he could never hold against them.

Joseph felt the tears running down his face. “Well then, it was a stupid joke.”

His mother scooted closer and hugged him tight, resting her head on his. “If you explain that to him, I’m sure he wouldn’t do it again. He’d apologize too because he’s sweet that way.”

He hugged his mother as tight as he could. It wasn’t that he really felt horribly hurt by what Emilio said; if he hadn’t been feeling down since the morning, Joseph wouldn’t be crying either. But his feelings of sadness were just overloading and overflowing, bursting at his seams. Joseph was sure that if his father called him a brat, even in that loving way he usually did, he’d break down into tears.

Pulling away, he wiped his face clean after his tears had finished. “We should probably go save tatko from the Vidals.”

A smile lit on his mother’s face. “I don’t know… I kind of wanna leave him to suffer.”

Joseph gave a small laugh at that. “Maybe we should leave him a few more minutes then.”

She pressed a kiss to his forehead and ruffled his hair. “I love you, baby.”

He wiped the remnants of his tears from his face and tilted his head up, kissing her cheek. “Love you too, mayko.”

 

* * *

  
He was curled up reading a book, tucked under his covers when there was a knock on his door. “Come in,” he murmured.

“Hello, Joseph. How are you?”

Joseph looked up in delighted surprise. “Dyádo!”

His grandfather walked over and sat beside Joseph. Hugging him, he said “What are you reading today?”

Snuggling into his grandfather, Joseph pulled the blanket up and tucked him in with him. “The Hobbit! It’s about this short dude who goes on an adventure with dwarves! It’s really good so far!”

“Ah, yes, I’ve read it. Fantastic story. Will you read the ones that come after?”

Looking at his grandfather in curiosity, he asked “There’s more?”

“Yes. The Lord of the Rings – it was written so large that it was divided into three books. And each of those books are also quite big. They also made movies recently. The last movie comes out at the end of the year, I believe.”

“Really?” Joseph bounced in excitement. “If I can read all the books and watch the movies before then, will you take me to see it?”

Chuckling, his grandfather replied “I don’t know if you can manage it, vnuk. That’s quite an expedition you set for yourself.”

“But if I can do it?”

His grandfather smiled and kissed the top of his head. “Then, we will go see the movie. And invite your father while we’re at it. He quite loves the books and movies.”

Joseph stared at his grandfather. “You’re serious?”

Laughing, his grandfather’s eyes were alight with amusement. “Why don’t you go ask him?”

He stared at his grandfather critically. His father had said he enjoyed reading but Joseph didn’t take him for the type to read fantasy or watch fantasy for that matter. But his grandfather wouldn’t lie about it, would he? “Okay, I’m gonna go ask. Be right back.”

Getting off the bed and with Peanut following, Joseph walked down the hall to his parent’s room and knocked on the door. “Tatko?”

“Open up.”

Walking in, he took in his father’s relaxed form lying on his stomach and reading some papers. “Wouldn’t that be easier in your office?”

“Technically, yes, but I got sick of sitting. Also, I got bored, so I came up here and stared at the ceiling in even more boredom and realized I might as well finish these stupid papers.” He wrote some numbers, calculating something and then signed some other paper. “I should make your dyádo fill these out. The old man doesn’t do anything anymore.”

Joseph sat himself down next to his father and Peanut on his back. She massaged with her claws, almost tenderizing him, then curled up and started licking herself in content.

“Get her off before I roll over on her.”

Carefully, he pulled Peanut off. He didn’t want her snagging her claws in his shirt – or worse, his back. Joseph sat her down on the floor and turned back to his father, watching him as he worked.

“What? I know that you’d much rather be sitting with Timotei right now, so why’s your ass here?”

He could feel the tears prickling his eyes again. Joseph had spent the whole day between sad and crying. His feelings were driving him crazy. It was a little easier after Emilio and his sisters had gone back home because then he could just sit and not have to talk much.

Pressing his hands to his eyes, he attempted to halt the flow before it came. Joseph breathed steadily and calmed himself relatively down. He knew his father didn’t mean anything by what he said but it sounded like he was accusing him of not loving him.

With all this sadness, Joseph realized he was overanalyzing things way too much.

“I just wanted to ask you a question? Uh, maybe two, actually.”

His father rolled over on his back, placing his hands under his head. “What’s up?”

“Dyádo said that-”

“God help me what that man said,” his father muttered.

Smiling, Joseph replied “All he said was that you like Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit and I wanted to see if he was telling the truth.”

Raising a questioning eyebrow, his father said “Are you calling him a liar?”

He shook his head quickly. “No, of course not! I’m just surprised, I guess.”

His father smiled at him, “Am I not allowed to like things?”

Joseph rolled his eyes. “Obviously you are, tatko. I just didn’t know you liked that kind of thing.”

Sitting up, his father sat crossed-legged. “I read The Hobbit when I was like ten when they first translated it to Bulgarian. I couldn’t read English, so I had to wait until it got translated. I had heard it was really good and it definitely lived up to the hype.”

“I’m reading it right now. I got it from the library at school this week.”

“Then, I will tell you, you’re going to love it.”

He nodded his head, “That’s what dyádo said too. And he said you read Lord of the Rings too?”

“Yup,” his father agreed. “That was after I got here and actually learned to read English. Lord of the Rings is a bit harder than The Hobbit, though.”

“Dyádo said that if I can read all of them and watch the two movies, then he’s going to take me to see the last movie when it comes out. He said that I might not be able to do it though, because they’re big.”

His father nodded, “Pretty big, ya. But if you can manage it, then go for it. I am invited, right?”  
Smiling, he replied “Of course. It’ll be lots of fun!”

Leaning over with a smile, his father kissed his head and hugged him close. “I love seeing a smile on your face so much more than that sadness from this morning.”

“It is a beautiful thing, isn’t it?” His grandfather said as he walked in.

His father turned his head. “Uh, excuse you. I didn’t give you permission to come in.”

Sitting down on the love seat, his grandfather spoke to Joseph. “You left me and didn’t come back, vnuk.”

Unwrapping himself from his father, he went and plopped himself beside his grandfather. Peanut followed from her spot on the floor and shoved herself in Joseph’s lap. “Sorry, dyádo. I was coming back. You know tatko likes making things difficult.”

“Alright, I see how it is. Dumping me like that,” his father shook his head in mock despair.

Joseph laughed and turned to his grandfather in questioning. “Dyádo, how come you came? You don’t usually come so late?”

He smiled down at him. “Well, your mother might have called and she possibly told me that my grandson was in a terribly sad mood all day today. In truth, I was hoping to add some cheer to your day, Joseph.”

“Vesela, your father just dissed us,” his father said as he laid back down when his wife walked in.

“You, maybe, but not me,” she said as she sat beside his father on the bed, kissing his nose.

“Nope, both of us.”

She looked over at his grandfather. “Ouch, tate, my feelings.”

His grandfather laughed, “I’m not saying that you two are incapable of providing such cheer; I’m simply saying that I thought I’d try my hand at it.”

Joseph smiled as he looked at the people in the room. They had all taken time to help Joseph recover little by little since February. They had helped him with the little steps and big ones. And here they were trying to keep a smile on his face.

He’d never been so thankful for them before this year. He’d never loved them more than now and was grateful that this was his family even if they weren’t great at times. They were still his.

He was also thankful for the great friend he had made in Emilio, who, despite not knowing anything, worked hard in always being there for Joseph. Always trying to make him smile and working around all of Joseph’s little nuances that he didn’t understand.

Joseph was thankful for each and every person in his life. He treasured them closely, from his parents, to his grandfather, to Emilio, and to Venc. He loved them dearly.

It would shatter him to lose any of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband


	43. Chapter 42

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back to the regular schedule! So I never thought Emilio would be sort of a controversial character? Some want me to just kill him off or get rid of him and others don't. Just so we can get past all that and move on...  
> Emilio is definitely not dying anytime soon. He's here to stay. To this day, I've no clue why some of you can't stand him.
> 
> Enjoy today's chapter!
> 
> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)

“You’re a fucking idiot, Venc, and that’s all there is to it,” Ivo said as they walked out of the restaurant behind Timotei.

Venc smiled and elbowed Ivo. “One of these days, you’re going to hurt my feelings and I’m going to leave you all by yourself to put up with my Lord Dobrev.”

Timotei turned and raised his eyebrow in questioning curiosity. “I hadn’t realized I was someone who had to be put up with, Vencislav.”

“No, no! Not at all, my lord! I, uh, didn’t mean it that way.” His face was burning red with embarrassment in being overheard.

Ivo laughed, “Like I said, a fucking idiot. Either talk quieter next time or wait until he’s a little further away from us.”

Shaking his head, Timotei muttered “Must you teach your horrible manners to everyone? Some days, Ivo, I regret taking you in.”

“Aw, tust, you know you don’t mean that,” Ivo said with a smile. “You love me too much.”

He chuckled as he replied to Ivo, “Don’t push your luck. That love just might run out. And when it’s gone, you’re going to miss it horribly.”

“When that time comes, I’ll worry about it then.”

He blinked in confusion and shock as he was splattered with something. _What the hell?_ There was a woman screaming nearby and then there was Venc saying something to him, dragging him down behind a car and then Timotei’s guards standing over him and…

_What the hell just happened?_

* * *

 

“Vidal, Savelio,” his chief called out from his office. “Homicide in front of Dino’s over on 14th and 13th intersection. Get moving.”

Standing and opening his drawer, Raul pulled out his gun and holster and put them on his belt. Savelio was already up and ready to go. She always was so much faster than him. “I’m driving?” She asked eagerly.

“Ha, I don’t think so. Seniority gives me the keys.” They began walking out of the station and out to their car.

Getting in, she asked “What do you think we’re catching today?”

Raul started the car and flicked on his lights. “Nothing good.”

Reaching the intersection, Raul parked the car near the police cars. There was an ambulance and the coroner had arrived. Flashing their badges, him and Savelio ducked under the tape and walked into the crime scene. He turned to one of the beat cops, “What do we have?”

“Timotei Atanas Dobrev. Age 59. Bullet to the brain. Was with his son-in-law and another young man but neither have spoken. They’re sitting in the back of the ambulance over there,” she pointed in the direction of the ambulance. “Seems he’s a mafia boss. Gang unit is on its way.”

Raul halted in his tracks before he reached the body on the floor. “I’m sorry, what?”

“Timotei Dobrev, detective,” the officer repeated. “Mafia boss and the heir is over there. Guess he’s boss now.”

His breathing stopped. _Dear God, no…_ Reaching the body, he crouched down and lifted the cover.

And was met with the ruined face of Joseph’s grandfather.

“Oh dear God…” He breathed.

Savelio turned to him. “You know him?”

Raul nodded slowly. “My son is friends with his grandson. I quite liked the man.”

She patted his shoulder, “I’m sorry, Vidal.”

He covered Timotei’s face and turned back to the officer. “You said he was with people.”

Nodding and pointing to the ambulance, she replied “Yes, sir. Son-in-law and his assistant. A couple guards too.”

He stood and looked in that direction. “I’ll talk to them.”

“Good luck. No one has gotten a word out of either of them.”

Turning to Savelio, he said “I’ll do this alone, if you don’t mind.”

“Sure, I’ll talk to some other witnesses. Good luck.”

“I’m going to need it,” he murmured.

Raul walked towards the ambulance, praying as he did. He stopped a couple feet away and stared at the two men sitting.

He couldn’t see Ivo’s face but the way he was sitting expressed so much pain and sadness. Horror too. Venc was staring at his hands, tears dripping and nose sniffling. Walking closer, he said carefully “Ivo?”

Ivo didn’t even twitch but Vencislav looked up at him. The pain in his eyes was incredibly hard to look at. “Mr. Vidal?” He said in quiet surprise. “It would be you getting this case.”

“I’m so sorry. He was a kind man.”

“Ya, ya he was.” Venc gave a broken, hysteric laugh. “One second he was there, and then…t-then he wasn’t.” He covered his face and sobbed. “He’s dead. Oh dear God, he’s dead.” Sobs racked his body, “H-he’s gone, M-Mr. Vidal. G-gone…”

Raul wanted to just sit beside him and hug him close. He knew Venc saw Timotei as a grandfather figure, maybe even a father figure. And all he wanted was to comfort the broken boy in front of him. “I’m so, so, sorry, Venc. I truly am.”

Venc nodded through his hiccups and sobs, trying to wipe away his pain on his sleeve. “T-Thank you.”

Raul turned to the man who had yet to react or move. “Ivo? Ivo, you have my condolences for your loss. I am sorry. He was a good man.”

Slowly lifting his head, Ivo stared at Raul. _Oh God…_

Ivo’s face, hair, and clothes were covered in the dried blood of his father-in-law. Not just blood, but skull fragments, and what could even be brain matter too. Raul’s heart stopped – his eyes were just empty. Ivo’s eyes were always filled with some type of emotion, whether it was amusement, condensation, or annoyance. But there was nothing now – just a void of nothingness. He sat there simply blinking at Raul. _He’s in shock… Dear God, help him. This is definitely not easy to go through._

“Ivo?” Raul said once more. “I’m sorry but I’m going to need a statement from you and I’m going to need to take your clothes too. We need them as evidence.”

He still sat blinking – he flicked a glance in the direction of Timotei’s covered body and then one at Venc beside him. Turning his gaze back to Raul, he whispered “He’s dead.”

Raul nodded. “I’m, again, truly sorry for your loss.” This never got easy no matter how long he was in the force. Giving condolences to the families of those who died would forever be difficult. He had no clue how he was going to speak to Vesela after he just saw her father’s ruined face.

Ivo bit his lip hard as tears welled in his eyes. He was, obviously, only human but Raul found it so odd to actually see sadness and tears in his face. “He’s dead,” Ivo murmured once more. He gave a short, strangled laugh, looking down at his clothes. “And I’m covered in him. Oh, Jesus…”

His hand was shaking as he lifted it to run his fingers through his hair – a habit Raul had noticed – when it stopped short. Ivo gave another hysteric laugh, “My hair’s evidence too; it’s full of shit.” Lowering his shaking hand, he rubbed both hands on his legs and clutched his knees tight.

He was pretty sure that Ivo wasn’t going to let a tech touch him – Raul couldn’t believe he was actually about to break protocol for a criminal. “Ivo,” he started. “Can I drive you home and you can give me your clothes after you clean up? I can also get your statement there.”

Silently, Ivo stared at him and blinked slowly. “Home…” he whispered. Somehow, Raul didn’t even think it was possible, Ivo’s face contorted with even more pain and sadness. “I have to go home and tell her that her father is dead. Oh my God… O-oh G-god. G-god, I-I can’t-” His voice caught in the sobs that began to rack his body.

“Vidal?” Savelio said behind him. “I got the other witness statements and the coroner just left. You ready?”

Looking closely at the two sobbing men in front of him, Raul made his decision. “Give me a pair of gloves, please,” he murmured to his partner.

“Of course, here,” she said handing him a fresh pair of latex gloves.

Slipping them on his hands he walked closer to Ivo, who was now quietly crying, trying his best not to touch his tainted clothing. Raul placed a hand on Ivo’s shoulder, “Come on, I’m taking you home.” He gave Ivo a slight nudge, getting him on his feet.

He turned to Vencislav. “Venc, can you give Detective Savelio your statement, please? I’m going to take Ivo home and you can follow after once you’re done.”

“Y-ya, okay. No problem, sir.” Venc said, wiping more tears and boogers on the edge of his now filthy sleeve. He turned and looked at Ivo. “I’ll be by in a little, my lord. Make sure you get cleaned up before anyone sees you. They don’t need to see this.”

_Anyone? Whose anyone and they?_

Then it hit him. He checked his watch and prayed that Joseph got out of school around the same time as Emilio’s school did. If he did, then Raul had at least an hour to get Ivo cleaned up. Hopefully, Vesela wasn’t home either. It’d be easier telling her about her father without her husband covered in his blood.

Clutching Ivo’s arm, Raul said softly “Come on, we should get going and get you cleaned as quickly as possible.” Ivo simply nodded and let Raul walk him to his car. After getting Ivo in, he checked the trunk to make sure he had a couple evidence bags and finding that he did, got himself into the driver’s seat.

They arrived in front of Ivo’s house not too much later. Turning to look at the man beside him, he said “Do you have your key? Do you know if Vesela is home now?”

Ivo sat and stared down into his lap. After a couple minutes, he murmured “I have my key and Vesela probably isn’t home. She and Nikol usually have lunch together on Wednesdays.”

“What time does Joseph get out of school?”

He watched as Ivo bit his lip once more and started to cry once more. As much as Raul wanted to give him time to grieve, he knew there wasn’t time. The last thing Ivo’s family needed was to see him covered in blood, bone, and brain. “Ivo, what time?”

Breathing in deeply, he replied “2:30. Vesela usually goes there straight after lunch to pick him up.”

Looking at his watch, Raul noted they had an hour and a little. Pretty good amount of time. He opened his door and got out, “Come on.”

Slowly getting out of the car, Ivo stood and breathed in once more, closing his eyes as he did. Opening them back up, he walked up the stairs to his door, unlocking it with his key and walked in, leaving the door open for Raul.

Walking to his trunk he pulled out a couple evidence bags and followed Ivo in, shutting the door behind himself. He looked at Ivo just standing there. Raul had never been upstairs before, let alone in Ivo’s bedroom but if Raul had to shove him up there to get him moving, he would.

It looked like he was going to have to.

Grabbing Ivo’s arm, he yanked him up the stairs and walked down the hall, determining which room was Ivo’s.  Finding it at the end of the hall, Raul dragged him in. Surprisingly, he got no resistance on Ivo’s part. Ivo walked over to his bed and sat down, lost in thought. Raul decided he might as well give him a second.

After five minutes of no movement, Raul realized he was going to have to push Ivo himself. “Ivo, I need your jacket and shirt, please. I’m also going to have to pick out the bone from your hair.” He walked closer and stood over him. “You should get cleaned up before they come home.”

Ivo looked up into Raul’s eyes, face full of pain and sorrow. He nodded slowly and whispered “Ya, I should.” Standing up, he carefully slipped off his overcoat, then his suit jacket. His shirt soon followed after he unbuttoned it. Raul took each one and bagged and tagged.

Pulling out a smaller bag and some tweezers, he looked pointedly at Ivo, who nodded once more and sat on the bed, lowering his head. Raul stood over him and began picking out whatever remains he could find, dropping them into the evidence bag as he went.

“Alright, I think I’ve got everything. Go ahead and shower. I’ll wait – I still need your statement.”

Nodding a third time, Ivo stood and walked to his dresser pulling out some clothes and grabbed his towel from a hook. He walked into the bathroom, shutting the door behind himself.

Hopefully, he wouldn’t take long. Raul checked his clock; they still had at least thirty minutes before anyone showed up.

He glanced around the room, taking in the scenery around him. The room was as large as all three of the bedrooms in his apartment combined. He generally wasn’t a jealous man but he sure couldn’t help it at the moment.

The shower turned on as his eyes caught on the huge array of photos on one of the dressers. He decided that it wouldn’t be considered prying if he were to take a closer look. Walking closer, he started with the first picture on the left.

It was a photo of a younger Ivo and Vesela sitting under a tree. Much younger maybe. Raul lifted it from the dresser and opened the back of the frame, curious if there was a date – 1988. By his count, they would have been around 19 and 16. He wondered how long they’ve been together – he had never actually bothered asking about their relationship before but now he was slightly curious.

Returning the picture, he looked next at wedding photos – one with just the happy couple and others with different family members. Moving on he looked at a smiling, glowing, heavily pregnant Vesela with Ivo kissing her stomach. Then there was a newborn Joseph in the arms of his mother and father. The next series of photos were all with Joseph as he grew up.

Raul stopped at the last one as he heard Ivo shut off the water and picked it up. It was Joseph on his seventh birthday if the cake and candle were anything to go by. He was smiling happily with his grandfather beside him. It was such a beautiful genuine smile – that of a carefree child.

One that Raul had never seen on Joseph’s face before.

Both he and Claudia had noticed that something was off about Joseph. He was always nervous, afraid, and worried about everything. There was the fact that for a while he wouldn’t even be alone with Raul in the same house. There were also the times that Raul noticed that Joseph was on the verge of panicking. Claudia thought he might have post-traumatic stress from something but they, for the life of them, could not figure out from what.

Something had changed from the time of this photo up to the point that Emilio had met Joseph. And whatever it was, it definitely had not been for the better.

He prayed for God to give Ivo strength in telling his family the news. It was going to break Vesela into pieces; she loved her father beyond measure.

And it was going to truly devastate Joseph. The smiling child in the photo would become even farther in reach after he heard the news of his beloved grandfather’s death.

Raul would be amazed if it didn’t crush Joseph all together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband


	44. Chapter 43

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompts, requests, talking, and stuff [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> I feel like there was something important I had to say except now that I'm here I can't remember what it is...  
> Oh well, I guess
> 
> Anyways, thanks to all my fantastic readers and those amazing people who take the time to comment because you guys seriously make my day. Sometimes my whole week.  
> Also a thanks to my wonderful beta!
> 
> Enjoy today's sadness!

Ivo breathed in another steadying breath after shutting off the water. He had tried to make sure he cried out every ounce of tears and sadness he had before finishing his shower. The last thing he needed was to break down again – he didn’t have time for it or, for that matter, the liberty.

Drying himself off, Ivo got dressed as quickly as he could manage. He was hoping to get Raul and his ruined clothes out before Vesela and Joseph arrived. They definitely didn’t need to see those.

Steadying himself once more with one last deep breath, he opened the door and walked out of the bathroom. He glanced at the clock: 2:22. Ivo had at least ten minutes before they showed. He hadn’t actually realized he had taken so long in the shower. Tossing the rest of his clothes into the laundry, Ivo watched Raul as he put a photo back on the dresser.

“Enjoying yourself?” he asked. His voice hadn’t come out the way he wanted – it was so much weaker and all the devastation he was feeling filled it. But then it didn’t really matter how he sounded anyways; Raul already knew he was broken. The sobs easily gave that away.

Raul turned and looked at Ivo, nodding. “The shower helped, then.”

“In what way, exactly?”

“Got you talking. That’s good. I was seriously worried which, to be honest, surprised me. I hadn’t realized I actually cared about you. So yes, I was worried. Well, I still am but I was even more worried before.”

Ivo just blinked at the asshole in front of him. He was actually kind of flattered. Which was odd for him to be but he couldn’t help it. The fact that someone was actually concerned for him? It was rare; the only ones who ever worried for him were Vesela, Joseph, and Venc. Of course, Timotei when he had been alive.

He felt the constricting pain of sorrow in his chest at the thought of Timotei. Ivo just couldn’t believe that he was gone. It had happened before his eyes and yet his mind couldn’t – _wouldn’t_ – process it. “He’s really dead… It’s so hard to believe.”

Raul walked over and sat on the bed, pulling out a notepad and pen. “I’m not going to lie, Ivo, I want to leave before Vesela arrives. I don’t think I’ll be able to look at her after seeing Mr. Dobrev.” He clicked open a pen, “Statement, please.”

Breathing deep, Ivo sat beside Raul and swallowed. “W-we had just finished from a meeting with the, uh, the DeCavalcantes.” He bit his lip as he continued, “They left and we sat for a little while longer and then left.”

“We?” Raul interrupted, pen poised and ready to keep on writing.

“Me, Venc, a couple guards, a-and,” Ivo paused, collecting himself before continuing. “Timotei,” he whispered.

Raul nodded as he wrote, “Keep going, please.”

Ivo cleared his throat. “There had been a couple of the advisors and Yulian with us too but they left when the Italians did. U-um, so eventually we left and we kind of were just kind of joking around as we walked over to the cars a-and…”

He felt the tears welling once more in his eyes – he definitely hadn’t cleaned them all out in the shower. Ivo struggled to get through the last of the story, “I-It just happened so fast,” he murmured. There was no continuing, he couldn’t do it. It hurt so bad.

One second they were laughing and then they weren’t. Ivo had watched as the man who he loved as much as his own father was shot, getting his brains blown out. Listened to the sickening sound of his body dropping on the floor.

It was a sound he would never forget.

Timotei’s murder had been so similar to Ivo’s father’s murder. They were so close that it was freaky. Every time Ivo replayed Timotei’s death in his head, his mind immediately jumped to his father’s. He had to watch the two men he loved die over and over again in his brain.

It was so unfair.

“Ivo,” Raul murmured. “Let’s at least finish before they arrive. I’m obviously not going to get out in time.”

Flicking his gaze to the clock, Ivo realized they’d be home any minute now. Then he’d have to give the two most important people he had left in his life horrible news that would shatter them into millions of pieces.

Wiping his tears, Ivo continued. “So… we were talking and then… t-then all I knew was that I was covered in Timotei and he was dropping to the ground. Dead.”

“No sound?”

He shook his head. “I don’t think so, no. My guess is a sniper. Clean assassination.”

They both froze when they heard the door open. Vesela and Joseph’s voices hummed quietly through the house. “Ivo? Are you home, babe?” Vesela called out. “The door was open and there’s a car out front. Ivo?”

Ivo closed his eyes and tried to calm down as best as he could manage. It wasn’t much; his heart was beating at a hundred miles an hour. He wasn’t afraid of anything really, but right now he was terrified of breaking the news. He looked at his hands in his lap – they were shaking with his nerves.

Both men listened as a small set of feet walked up the stairs – Joseph. In reality, Ivo was more afraid to tell Joseph than Vesela. His son loved his grandfather more than anyone; Timotei’s death was going to be hard on him. The kid had enough issues as it was.

Raul pushed the notepad towards Ivo. “Sign if you agree that everything written is true and the events are those that occurred,” he murmured ever so quietly.

Taking it, he gave a quick read through and signed, handing it back to its owner. “Raul,” he whispered.

The detective raised his gaze to Ivo. “Yes?”

“I don’t think I can do this…”

Raul blinked at him and let out a deep breath. “It’s definitely not easy and it never gets easy no matter how many times such news is delivered. May God give you the strength you need.” He gave out a small laugh, “Honestly, Ivo, I’ve been wanting to hug you and Venc since the ambulance but I wasn’t sure how you each would receive it. I, for one, find that hugs are quite powerful things.”

Listening as Joseph was talking to Peanut in his room, Ivo realized that right about now a hug would be fantastic. Despite how much he hated people touching him. “I don’t think I’d mind at this moment.”

Smiling, Raul reached over and wrapped his arms around Ivo. “I’m honestly so sorry, Ivo. I really am.”

After a couple minutes, Ivo shrugged his apparently new friend off. “Sheesh. It’s like you didn’t want to let go. So fucking clingy. Give a guy an inch he takes a fucking mile.”

Raul laughed, “I’m sorry I’m trying to make you feel a little better.”

They both looked at the door as Vesela walked in. Ivo’s heart stopped beating and he steadied himself as well as he could manage. He could do this; he had to.

She smiled beautifully at Raul. God, did he love her smile. “Well, I’ll admit, this is a hell of a surprise. What do I owe the pleasure to, Raul?”

Ivo’s gaze fell on Joseph, who turned up behind Vesela, peeping his head in. “Hi, tatko,” he smiled. Today was probably one of his better days if the smile was already true and there.

He smiled as best as he could and held out his arms for him. Joseph’s smile grew happier as he walked over and hugged him, pressing his face into Ivo’s chest. “Hey, brat. How was school?”

Joseph raised his head, excitement alight. “It was okay, I guess. But guess what?”

Brushing the hair out of Joseph’s face, he replied “What?”

“I finished Lord of the Rings!”

His blood went cold. Ivo’s mind went back to almost two months ago.

_“Dyádo said that if I can read all of them and watch the two movies, then he’s going to take me to see the last movie when it comes out. He said that I might not be able to do it though, because they’re big.”_

_Ivo nodded, “Pretty big, ya. But if you can manage it, then go for it. I am invited, right?”_

_Smiling, Joseph replied “Of course. It’ll be lots of fun!”_

“Tatko?” Joseph said, confused why Ivo was quiet for so long.

Putting another smile on his face, Ivo answered “That’s fantastic. Good job.”

Joseph scrunched his nose, “You don’t sound very happy.”

“Joseph, can you give us a minute?” Vesela interrupted. “Go feed Peanut; you haven’t yet.”

He glanced at his mother, confusion clouding his eyes. Joseph wasn’t stupid, he knew something was up. “Okay,” he unwrapped himself from Ivo and looked at Raul. “Hi, Mr. Vidal.”

Raul smiled, “Hello, Joseph. You shouldn’t keep Peanut waiting.”

Joseph nodded as he gazed between the adults. “No, I won’t,” he said as he walked out of the room.

Vesela shut the door quietly behind him and looked carefully at both of them and then the evidence bags on the bed. “The hell is going on?”

Standing up, Raul grabbed the evidence bags and was about to walk out when Ivo stopped him. “Wait,” he looked at Raul, pleading to him. “I can’t do this alone.”

The detective nodded and stood to the side, a silent pillar of support. That was good with Ivo.

His wife looked between them both. “Can’t do what, Ivo?”

Ivo stood and walked to Vesela, taking her hands in his. Biting his lip, he took in one last breath before starting. “S-Something’s happened to your father, Vesela.”

Her eyes filled with worry and panic. This was only going to get harder. “What do you mean, something’s happened? Is he okay?”

He lowered his eyes from her face and stared at their intertwined hands, fiddling with their wedding rings. Ivo knew he wouldn’t be able to look at her face when he said it. Swallowing, he murmured ever so quietly “H-He’s… he’s dead, Vesela.”

It felt like time just stopped as there wasn’t a single sound existing. You couldn’t even hear their breathing. When she didn’t speak after some time had passed, he raised his head to look at her. Her eyes were filled with tears on the verge of overflowing any second now. “Tell me you’re lying,” she said with her voice broken. “S-Say this is some stupid fucking joke,” she stuttered as the tears started to fall. Whispering, she cried “Please, Ivo.”

Feeling his own tears beginning to well up by just looking at hers, he gave a strangled laugh, “That’d be a sick joke. A hell of a cruel one too.”

She clutched his hands tight as she began to cry. Looking over at Raul, her eyes were filled with sudden realization when they hit the evidence bags. “O-Oh my God…” She turned back to Ivo, “He was killed? Like murdered?” she whispered.

Ivo’s tears were coming down all over again. “Assassinated,” he whispered back. “Bullet to the head. He wouldn’t have felt any pain.”

“A-And w-what that’s supposed to be consolation that he’s dead?!” Vesela yelled at him, yanking her hands out of his and clutching them into fists at her sides. He prayed Joseph was still downstairs feeding Peanut lunch. He didn’t need to find out by overhearing them.

“I’m not saying it’s consolation, I just want you to know that he didn’t suffer…”

She flicked her hands at him, her frustration and anger coming through that simple movement. “And what were you doing, oh great Lord Kavinsky, when my father was shot down like an animal?!”

He stared at her in surprise. It almost sounded like… “Are you saying this is my fault?”

“Where. Were. You.” Tears were streaming down her face and her eyes were filled with so much pain and sorrow. It hurt so bad just to look into them; he wanted to turn away or look down but he knew she would grow angrier if he did.

He wiped his own tears, trying to calm down. Both of them had flaming tempers and if he let his go right now, nothing good would come of it. Ivo couldn’t believe she was blaming him as if there was anything he could have done. He would have stood in the way of the bullet if he had known it was coming.

But he didn’t and that was eating him alive. He never saw the damn thing coming.

“I-I was standing behind him, a little to his side.”

“And what, completely didn’t notice the guy with the gun? About to shoot my father?”

“We have pretty good evidence that it was a sniper, Vesela,” Raul interrupted, his voice a deep contrast to theirs with the steadiness. For someone who was so worried about seeing Vesela, he seemed to be holding it together well. But then, he was a cop; Raul had probably done this hundreds of times. “There was nothing anyone could have done unless they somehow knew before hand.”

Vesela turned and looked at Raul and the bags once more. “Behind him…a little to his side…” she whispered. “T-Those are your clothes covered in his blood, aren’t they…”

Biting his lip hard – Ivo was hoping it would somehow help stop his tears – he replied “Yes… everything k-kind of just…”

“Splattered…” Vesela finished quietly, calming down.

Ivo hugged her tight to his chest and placed his head atop hers. “I’m so fucking sorry, Vesela,” he whispered as she sobbed into his chest. He pressed a kiss into her hair, silent tears coming down his face. “I’m so sorry, love.”

After some time had passed, she pushed away from him. She wiped her tears and said “Has anyone told Nikol?”

Shrugging and wiping his own tears aside, he replied “I honestly don’t know. Venc probably would have called Yulian by now though.”

Vesela breathed in trying to steady herself. “Okay, I’m going to clean up and go to her, then.” She looked at Ivo, eyes still brimming with tears, “I don’t think I’ll be able to tell Joseph. Can you do it, please?”

“Of course,” he whispered. In truth, Ivo didn’t want to do it by himself. Telling Joseph was going to be even harder than it was to tell Vesela. He looked over at Raul, who was still giving his silent support, “Thank you.”

He smiled, albeit sadly, “Glad to be of help and you both have my deepest most honest sympathies. He was a wonderful man for the short time I knew him.”

Wiping her eyes once more, Vesela replied “Thank you, Raul. My father really liked you, you know.”

“If you both don’t mind, I’d like to pass the news to my family. They would want to know.”

“Yes, of course, go ahead.” She looked at Ivo as the doorbell rang, “Can you get that while I get ready? A-And talk to Joseph before he sees me and asks.”

Ivo nodded, kissing Vesela with all the love he felt for her and then looked to Raul, “I’ll walk you out.”

 

* * *

 

 Joseph opened the door to Venc, smiling as he did. “Hi, Venc!” For some reason, Venc paled upon seeing Joseph open the door. And he looked so sad. “Are you okay? You seem… sad?”

He noticed how fake the smile was that he plastered on his face. “No! No, no! I’m perfectly fine, Joseph!” Venc’s eyes flicked behind him.

Turning, Joseph was met with his father and Mr. Vidal. “Bye, Joseph,” Mr. Vidal said to him as he was walking out past Venc. Mr. Vidal turned to Venc and Joseph’s father, “I’ll probably talk soon.” And with that he got into his car and left.

Something was up. He wasn’t sure what but Joseph could just feel it. There was a pressure running through the house and whatever it was, it was something big.

Venc walked in and shut the door. “Lady Vesela’s upstairs?”

His father nodded. “Good luck,” he whispered as Vencislav walked to the stairs and up to her room.

Looking up into his father’s face, Joseph noticed something. It looked like he had been crying. He didn’t think he had ever seen his father cry; Joseph had never even seen tears in his eyes before. But yet here he was, eyes puffy and red from tears.

“Tatko,” Joseph started nervously. “Tatko, what’s wrong? Why is everyone sad?”

Blinking, his father simply stared while biting his lip and working his jaw. “Sit with me on your bed?”

Joseph stared in confusion at his father. That was among the weirder things he’s heard him say. “Um, ya sure. I just have to clean Peanut’s plate first.”

His father nodded. “I’ll meet you upstairs. Don’t take forever, please.”

He stared at his father’s back as he walked away. _Please? What in the world is going on?_

Confusion had definitely engulfed any and all thoughts and feelings Joseph had at the moment. But regardless, he quickly cleaned up after Peanut and dragged her upstairs with him. He noticed that his mother’s door was closed as he walked into his own room. His father was sitting on the bed, under the covers, staring at his hands.

Putting Peanut on the bed, Joseph slipped under the blankets, cuddling close to his father. He looked up into his face, “What’s wrong, tatko?”

He noticed the nervous way his father swallowed. He started quietly, “Sometimes…” he let out a deep breath, “Sometimes the… sometimes the people we love get hurt… and sometimes we lose the people we love.”

Gnawing on his lip, Joseph’s heart stopped dead in its beating tracks. The only person in the world that his father would cry over besides for his wife and son and even Venc…

Would be Joseph’s grandfather.

The pieces started clicking. Mr. Vidal – no _Detective_ – sitting with his father. Something bothering him when Joseph had spoken to him. His mother asking him to leave the room. The pain and sadness in Venc’s eyes.

His eyes starting filling with tears, Joseph started to choke on his sobs. Clutching him close, his father rubbed his back soothingly as he whispered ‘I'm sorry’ over and over again.

Looking into his father’s pained gaze, Joseph asked through his tears, “He's really dead, tatko? Gone forever, then?” He hiccupped, “I'm really going to miss him.” He pressed his face into his father, clutching him as hard as he could manage.

“Me too,” his father whispered.

His chest filled with so much pain and sorrow that it hurt. Every few seconds, Joseph would choke on his sobs of tears and boogers. He wasn’t sure how long they sat like that; it could have been merely minutes but in actuality it felt like years. No matter how many tears Joseph shed, more kept flowing endlessly.

He was never going to see his grandfather again. Never see the cheery smile, hear his hearty laugh, or be embraced in his wonderful hugs.

He was gone and never coming back.

Joseph murmured through his tears, “He didn’t suffer did he, tatko? Dyádo didn’t feel anything when he died? I don’t want his last moments to be in pain.”

His father hugged him tighter, pulling Joseph into his lap. Kissing his head, his father replied “He didn’t feel a thing.”

Joseph froze when he heard his mother’s door open; she was probably hurting even more than he was. Unlatching himself from his father, Joseph looked at his tear-streaked face. He pressed a kiss on his father’s cheek and hugged him one more time before getting up and walking to his mother who appeared in the doorway.

She kneeled down holding her arms out for a hug, “C’mere, baby.”

Hiccupping up on cries, he threw himself in her embrace, shedding his tears into her shoulder. “I’m really sorry, mayko.”

His mother hugged him tight, “Me too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband


	45. Chapter 44

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> So I've been entertaining the thought of updating 3 times a week. But because of the 12 Days that I did, I kind of went through my chapters and I'm still trying to catch up so I have good wiggle room.  
> Maybe I'll do it every other week... But this week, expect a chpt on Tuesday too. I'll give it a test run.
> 
> Enjoy today's chpt! Oh and Nikolai has arrived! If you read the short about Venc, you met him briefly   
>  *psst* he's an important bastard

Joseph sat in his bed under his blankets, Peanut curled next to him. He had shut his door and locked it after they had come home from his grandfather’s funeral; he didn’t want to put up with anyone right now. It had been two weeks since his grandfather had died – his mother had been upset that they couldn’t bury him immediately but they had to wait until the police released his body. They had gotten his belongings – minus his necklace. The gang unit had apparently taken the case from Mr. Vidal and with that went his grandfather’s things.

And they had ‘misplaced’ his cross necklace.

That had really gotten to everyone, especially Joseph, because they knew how much his grandfather loved it. His mother had actually gone to the police station and yelled and cursed at them, asking how, if they can’t keep track of a necklace, they were going to find her father’s murderer. They promised they’d keep looking.

But still nothing.

The past two weeks had been the worst of his life; today alone was worse than everything else. He just couldn’t take it; sadness and depression were suffocating him. It was like he had this huge pressure on him that took away all his thoughts and feelings besides the sad ones. He hadn’t even bothered going to school since his grandfather had died. And he had no intention to anytime soon. At this moment, he couldn’t care if he went or not. It just seemed meaningless.

Everyone was downstairs together – his parents, his Tétka Nikol and her family, Venc, his sister and grandmother, friends and people who worked for his grandfather who wanted to pay their respects. But Joseph didn’t want to put up with any of them; all he wanted was to be alone.

Lying down and stretching out, Joseph turned on his side to stare at Peanut. He rubbed her head as she slept. It was like she knew that someone had died; she was always trying to comfort Joseph in her cat way. Peanut was the only one Joseph tolerated right now. He had actually blown up on his mother and said horrible things when all she wanted was for him to eat something. She didn’t seem to get that right now, eating was meaningless too.

He rarely saw his father anymore. He would leave early in the morning and come back late at night. And when Joseph did see him, he was generally in a bad mood. His mother told him he was still grieving and that he had a lot of stress on him right now. He was pretty much running the mob by himself, she explained. Being the boss came with a lot more responsibility than being heir and as of now, he still refused to pick his own second-in-command. Joseph had also heard that a few of the higher ups were mad – his father had apparently demoted a lot of people, including his Tetíncho Yulian. The only one he trusted entirely was Venc – and that pissed off the higher ups even more. They didn’t understand how a boy had a higher place and more trust than they did.

“Knock, knock, baby. Open up.” His mother didn’t even bother trying the knob anymore, she knew it was always locked now. “Please, Joseph. I brought lunch and I was hoping we could share,” she said through the door, her voice full of hope.

Joseph might have opened the door for her before but not anymore. No matter how many times he told her that he wasn’t hungry and didn’t want to eat, she never seemed to give up. The only things he would force on himself was a small bowl of cereal in the morning so he can take his pill and then a couple crackers throughout the day. He had taken the boxes in the kitchen and put them in his closet; if he was able to take the cereal and milk too, Joseph would. Less contact with anyone that way.

His mother knocked once more. “Joseph?” When he still didn’t answer, she sighed sadly and murmured “Okay, fine. Don’t open. But I’m leaving the food here by the door. Try to eat something, please.”

He listened as her footsteps began to fade as someone rang the doorbell.

 

* * *

 

Emilio rang the doorbell again when no one answered immediately. He was about to ring it once more when his mother grabbed his hand, “Stop, mijo. If they’re home, they would have heard it by now.”

He was really worried about Joseph and his family. Emilio hadn’t seen them since before Mr. Dobrev had died. In truth, he was much more worried about Joseph than anyone else. Joseph probably took it harder than anyone; he loved his grandfather a lot.

Finally, the door was yanked open by Venc. “Sorry for making you guys wait.”

His father smiled, “That’s alright. I think that maybe Emilio is just impatient.”

“Yes, at the moment I am, actually. I wanna make sure Joseph is okay.” He bounced at the door, looking at Venc. “Can we come in, please?”

Venc smiled at him. “Of course, sorry,” he stepped to the side, “Come in.”

Walking in with his parents and sisters behind him, Emilio gazed around looking at the people. His parents had told him to make sure to pass his condolences to Joseph’s family before he sat. He spotted Mrs. Kavinsky coming down the stairs and skipped over to her and hoped she liked hugs.

Emilio collided with her, hugging her tight, as she yelped in surprise. Looking up into her face, he murmured “I’m really sorry about your dad.”

She smiled down at him, hugging him back. “Thank you, sweetheart.” She looked up as the rest of his family came to talk to her. But Emilio didn’t bother staying, he still had more people to talk to and he wanted to get to Joseph as fast as he could.

Unlatching himself, Emilio realized that he was actually a little afraid to hug Mr. Kavinsky. What if he wouldn’t want one? Emilio set his face in determination; well he was going to get one whether he liked it or not.

Emilio stopped a little ways away from the couches; he didn’t know who most of the people were. They looked like old stern men who wouldn’t like him. Even the old ladies looked that way; they were probably the wives of the men sitting. Taking in a deep breath, he walked over to where Mr. Kavinsky was sitting beside some weird old man.

Stopping in front of Joseph’s dad, Emilio smiled. “Hiya, Mr. Kavinsky.”

Joseph’s father looked at him and just sort of stared. Emilio couldn’t help but realize how exhausted he looked. “Hello, Emilio.” His voice even sounded tired and…stressed.

_How hard is it to hug someone, stupid? He’s just like anyone else!_

Except, he really wasn’t.

Mr. Kavinsky could be terrifying and freaky sometimes. Not to mention he was a mobster – you couldn’t be one unless you’ve done bad things before.

Gathering his resolve, Emilio hugged Mr. Kavinsky as tight as he had Mrs. Kavinsky, pressing his face into his chest. “I’m really sorry about Mr. Dobrev.”

He went stiff the minute Emilio had hugged him but eventually Mr. Kavinsky, possibly reluctantly, wrapped his arms around Emilio. “Thank you, kid.”

Old weird man had started chuckling the minute Emilio had hugged Mr. Kavinsky. “Look at that, Ivo! Somebody besides your family actually likes you.” He laughed again, “There are miracles in this world.”

Mr. Kavinsky turned and glared nastily at the man. “Is it ever possible for you to shut your fucking mouth, Nikolai? Nobody gives a shit what you have to say.”

“Don’t worry,” Emilio interrupted, “I like you and so do my family, Mr. Kavinsky. That guy just doesn’t get it.”

Venc laughed as he walked over. “No, Emilio, Nikolai never gets anything. He’s just too stupid like that.”

Emilio let go of Mr. Kavinsky as he smiled with Venc. The man named Nikolai looked furious. “Why don’t you learn your place, boy? Just because this fool beside me likes to make you think your worthy doesn’t mean a street rat like you actually is.”

Emilio stared in shock at the man; he couldn’t believe he actually said that. He turned back to look at Mr. Kavinsky – Emilio had never seen him look so angry before.

“Listen up, you motherfucking piece of shit. If you ever insult me or him,” he pointed at Venc, “again, you won’t have a tongue to speak with. And then, just for the hell of it, I’m going to cut off your dick which you seem to think makes you a man who can speak as he pleases.”

He felt his eyes go wide at the threat. It freaked Emilio out that it was an actual one and not just something someone says for fun. Mr. Kavinsky had probably done it to people before. Maybe this was time for Emilio to get moving before he heard anything else that would give him bad thoughts. After Mr. Kavinsky had said something similar to his father at Coney Island, all Emilio could imagine for a while was his father without a tongue.

It wasn’t pretty.

“If Emilio ends up with a filthy mouth, Ivo, I am genuinely going to blame you,” Emilio’s mom interrupted.

Mr. Kavinsky turned and looked at her and stood, shaking her hand in greeting, “If Emilio ends up with a filthy mouth, it’ll be because he decided to use it. Not because he heard me using my own.”

She smiled at him while shaking her head, “Oh yes, of course. Silly me.” Taking a more serious tone to her voice, she said “You have my sincerest condolences, Ivo. Timotei was a wonderful man.”

He gave her a half smile as he sat back down. “Thank you and he definitely was.”

“If you can amount to a third of the man Timotei was, we will call it a blessing,” Nikolai cut in with his ugly condescending voice. “You’re not even close to that, though. May God help us in the coming months. You’ve only made one bad decision after another and it has only been a couple weeks. Timotei would be thoroughly disappointed.”

Emilio never knew Ms. Nikol’s face could turn so nasty as he looked at her as she sat, snapping at Nikolai. “ _My father,”_ she emphasized, “picked Ivo as his heir because he trusts his decisions and knows that Ivo is a very smart man who knows what he’s doing. Don’t you dare speak for how he would feel when you have no clue.”

Nikolai looked slightly embarrassed at being heard by her. _Only_ because he was heard; not by what he said. “Of course, my Lady Nikol, but you cannot say that you weren’t surprised when your husband was demoted. Treated as though he is lesser than that street rat your brother-in-law keeps by his side.”

Emilio listened to the exchange in silent fascination; it was just so interesting to hear this sort of thing. Hopefully his father wouldn’t finish talking to Mrs. Kavinsky anytime soon – he’d make Emilio go so fast. He was slightly surprised his mother hadn’t told him to go but she was also lost in interest from her spot on one of the chairs. Mr. Kavinsky was simply watching the exchange, his eyes calculating.

“Whatever Ivo’s reason may have been, I’m sure it was in the best interests of the mob. He wouldn’t make a business decision based on pettiness.”

Nikolai laughed. “No? I’m going to have to disagree, Lady Nikol. I think he does a lot of things based off of pettiness. If we are being entirely truthful, if it wasn’t for the fact that I have worked with your father since he and I were young and Ivo has at least a slight amount of respect in him, I would have been demoted as well. But he knows that would just be foolish.”

Flicking his gaze to Mr. Kavinsky, Emilio was surprised by the smile on his face. That definitely didn’t mean anything good. “Ah, my dear Nikolai, I’m not going to demote you.”

He looked at Mr. Kavinsky, “Of course you’re not. You’d be stupid if you did. I have served long and hard not to have some man half my age tell me that I’m unworthy.”

Mr. Kavinsky laughed a sick sarcastic laugh. “You’re so fucking unworthy you have no idea. No see, I’m not going to demote you, Nikolai. I’m just replacing you entirely. Your services are no longer needed. Take a fucking retirement for all I care.”

The room went silent. All of the men sitting stared at Mr. Kavinsky. One of the women looked entirely shocked – probably Mr. Nikolai’s wife. Even his father and Mrs. Kavinsky’s conversation had finished and they were listening. The only noise was the wind from outside and Alondra’s occasional gurgle.

“Excuse me?” Nikolai hissed, face red with anger. “I’m afraid I may have heard you wrong.”

“No, you didn’t. Your services are no longer needed. You’re being replaced by someone I have deemed much more fitting in my inner circle. It’s time for a new era of leadership and ruling. Which means I get to make the mob in the image I need and please.”

Emilio didn’t know that people could turn purple but that’s definitely what Nikolai had become. “You bastard…” he seethed. “You’re making a huge mistake! And who is this that will do the job I have been doing for 30 years better than me?”

A smirk blossomed onto Mr. Kavinsky’s face as he turned to look at Venc. “Welcome to my board of advisors, Vencislav Mateev. Would you do me the honor and accept the position of my highest advisor? Who knows maybe I’ll up you to my second too.”

Venc’s eyes went huge as Ivet whooped in happiness. He gestured to himself in shock, “Me, my lord?”

“I don’t know another Vencislav Mateev. So, yes, asshole, you. Do you accept?”

“He does not accept!” Nikolai shouted as he stood in fury. “He has no right to accept. He has no right to my position or any qualifications. He is but a BOY! What could he possibly do better than I have done! This street rat did not even finish grade school!”

Emilio looked in surprise at Venc; he didn’t know he hadn’t finished school. If he hadn’t finished grade school, then he might have not even made it to sixth grade. _How is he so smart, then?_

His eye caught on something moving by the stairs. “Joseph!” he shouted in delight, waving.

Mrs. Kavinsky turned in delight. “Hi, baby!” She ran over to him and scooped her in his arms. “Holy crap, you’re heavy,” she laughed as she carried him. He simply laid his head on her shoulder, not fighting her on carrying him.

He couldn’t help and notice how thin Joseph had gotten; that definitely worried Emilio. He was right – his grandfather’s death had hit him hard. “You’re missing something really good! It’s almost like a tv show from how interesting it is!” He yelped from surprise when he was tapped on the back of his head. “Hey!”

Mr. Kavinsky shrugged, “Wasn’t me.”

“Ya, okay. I totally believe that.”

Giving Emilio a half smirk, he flicked his eyes back on Joseph and his mother. “Come here, brat,” he murmured, holding out his arms.

Reluctantly, Mrs. Kavinsky lowered Joseph onto the floor. He trudged slowly over, staring at the floor as he did. Nikolai sat back down, working his jaw in anger but quiet for the moment. Emilio shoved himself on the couch beside Mr. Kavinsky, who gave him an annoyed look as he pulled Joseph up into his lap.

“Jesus, I feel like I haven’t seen your face properly in days,” Mr. Kavinsky murmured as he kissed Joseph on the forehead.

Joseph said nothing, just stared at his hands. After a few minutes, he whispered “What’d I miss?”

Emilio smiled in delight that Joseph was talking. “Your dad firing Mr. Nikolai, right there. He’s replacing him with Venc.”

“We are not reopening that right now,” Emilio’s father said as he walked over sitting beside his wife. “Why don’t you and Joseph go upstairs and leave us ill-mannered adults to annoy each other.”

“Whoa, whoa, Raul,” Mr. Kavinsky said, sounding a bit more like himself. “I’m enjoying quality time with my child here.”

“Yes, well, my child doesn’t need to hear another argument like that and he isn’t going to move unless yours does. So either nobody speaks because, you in particular, are in capable of keeping your lovely opinions to yourself or the boys go upstairs.” He turned and looked at his daughters and Ivet, “For that matter, the girls should join them. Andrey and Anka too.”

“Aw, no fair!” Andrey yelled from the dining table where he sat doing homework. “I want to listen!”

“Shit, I completely forgot they were sitting,” Ms. Nikol muttered. She turned to look at her kids sitting on the table. “Butts up and go to Joseph’s room, please.”

Emilio figured they might as well; his father had ruined any chances of the conversation continuing. He would make sure to tell Joseph all about it. He would also have to finish giving out his condolences later. Turning to Joseph, he said “C’mon, let’s go, Papa killed the interesting stuff.”

“For good reason, Emilio,” his father murmured.

 

* * *

 

He sat beside Peanut, back on his bed curled in his covers except this time he had Emilio beside him. It was actually pretty comforting having his best friend with him. Emilio’s sisters, Ivet, and Joseph’s cousins were all on the floor playing Life. Joseph had noticed that Emilio looked like he wanted to play but when Joseph had curled on the bed, Emilio had joined him.

Joseph hadn’t touched the food his mother brought, instead he fed it to everyone else. Emilio had tried to get him to eat but Joseph refused. No one seemed to understand that he was never hungry. The only reason he went downstairs was because he had heard the yelling and got curious. Apparently, depression hadn’t killed his curiosity. He had definitely been surprised when he discovered the Vidals in his house. Joseph wasn’t expecting them.

Turning, he looked at Emilio who smiled brightly at him. “So, Venc is gonna replace Nikolai?”

Emilio nodded, “I guess so. Your dad fired Mr. Nikolai and then asked Venc if he wanted to take his spot. But Venc didn’t get a chance to accept before Mr. Nikolai interrupted and then I did when I saw you.” He laughed, “Maybe I should have stayed quiet for a little and they would’ve finished talking.”

“Huh…”

“Joseph? Can I ask a question about Venc?”

He shrugged as best as he could manage while lying down, “Sure. Although he would answer any question, anyways. He doesn’t mind.”

“Really? That’s good for my curiosity! But why didn’t Venc finish school? What grade did he get up to?”

“He didn’t finish cause his parents left, so he would spend the day pickpocketing and stealing to feed his grandma and Ivet. The last one he finished was fourth but he had been in fifth for a little.”

Emilio turned to Ivet on the floor. “Did you ever have to not go to school?”

She shook her head, “No, I started school when he was already working for Lord Kavinsky.”

Alicia scrunched her nose in confusion. “But he seems really smart? How if he didn’t finish?”

Ivet smiled and laughed. “That’s because when he started working for Lord Kavinsky, he made him do homeschooling and he and Lady Vesela helped him whenever he needed it. Venc isn’t some genius.”

“That was really nice of them,” Emilio chimed.

Her smile grew bigger, “We owe our good life to Joseph’s dad, for sure. Who knows how we would be living if Venc hadn’t met him. I count my blessings everyday that he did.”

“Knock, knock,” his mother said as she walked in. “Are you guys hungry? I don’t know if any of you ate.”

Andrey spoke up, “Joseph gave us his tray and we shared.”

Joseph prayed Andrey would lie for him, just this once and say that he ate with them. He couldn’t see his mother’s face but he knew she was probably raising her eyebrow in questioning thought. “We?”

“Yup, Tétka. All of us. Joseph too, if that’s what you’re asking.”

He made a mental note to thank Andrey later; Joseph definitely owed him one.

“Really?” She said in disbelief.

Anka piped in, “Yes’m. Not a lot but he ate with us.”

“Okay, then, I guess,” she paused before she spoke once more. “Do you guys want some snacks then? That tray definitely wasn’t big enough to feed you all well.”

“That’d be nice. Thank you, Mrs. Kavinsky,” Linda smiled.

His mother walked over and picked up the tray from the floor and Joseph caught her glance for a second as she looked at the bed. Looking over at Emilio, she asked “Do you mind helping me, Emilio?”

Smiling at her, he replied, “Of course not.” Uncovering himself, Emilio got off the bed and followed her out of the room.

Emilio had lied for him once and Joseph was really hoping he would do it again. His mother wouldn’t have asked for help unless she was going to ask if Joseph ate or not. But looking at the situation realistically, Joseph knew him, Andrey, and Anka were about to be caught in a lie.

Sometimes, Emilio cared a little too much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband


	46. Chapter 45

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://wwwsambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> School starts today! I, for one, am quite happy.  
> So today's chpt may possibly inspire some more Emilio dislike (still don't get you ppl) BUT Emilio does it because he cares. He really really cares, I swear. He's a little sunshine on 2 legs (thank you BSymph, I love this. Hope you don't mind me using it)
> 
> SUPER IMPORTANT! New tag has been added. Please, please check it before you read! Enjoy the pain!
> 
> Oh and I'm gonna start putting a line from whatever chpt I'm writing everytime I update. Teaser maybe? Idk but I like feeling like I'm interacting with y'all.
> 
>  
> 
> _“Why God, did you make me so wrong? Why make me at all if I’m such a mistake?” ___

He poured the chips Mrs. Kavinsky had given him into a bowl and set it on the tray with the other stuff. It all looked really good. She came up behind him and placed some juice boxes beside them. “So, Emilio,” she started.

Looking up, he smiled at her pretty face. “Yes?”

She leaned on the island facing him. “Did Joseph actually eat or no?”

Emilio blinked and made a split second decision. “Yes, he did. Not a lot but he did, Mrs. Kavinsky.”

Mrs. Kavinsky looked at him closely, mulling over his answer. She sighed, “I know that you guys care for him and all that but this is serious, sweetheart. I really need to know whether he ate anything or not.”

Swallowing, he watched the people in the living room as he decided on what to do. He really didn’t want to tell on Joseph; especially not after Andrey and Anka had lied for him. Then, Emilio would be making them look bad and make himself look like a rat in their eyes.

Dilemma.

He wondered what his father would do in a similar situation. It was kind of silly to compare what his father did and what Emilio was stuck in but he figured the comparison kind of worked. Either he could stay loyal to his friends or he can tell the truth for Joseph’s health.

Emilio’s eyes caught with his father’s gaze who smiled at him. Smiling back, Emilio knew what he should do. Hopefully, they wouldn’t get mad at him.

Turning back to Mrs. Kavinsky, he said “He didn’t actually eat anything. I tried to get him to eat something but he wouldn’t.”

Nodding, she thanked him. “I appreciate the truth, thank you.” She huffed and gave a half laugh, “I’ve tried everything to get him to eat besides for force-feeding, which is something I absolutely will not do. I’m out of ideas. You wouldn’t happen to have any, would you?”

Emilio shook his head, “I’m sorry, I don’t. But…did you try asking my mom? She is a nurse, maybe she knows something?”

“Good point. I’ll ask later, I guess.” Emilio watched as she placed some apples and peanut butter on the tray. “Do you think you can carry this or should I?”

Lifting the tray off the island, he gauged the weight. “No, I think I got it. It’s not too heavy.”

“Okay. Thank you and walk slowly and carefully up the stairs.”

Smiling as he began walking away, he replied “Totally got it, Mrs. Kavinsky.”

Ever so slowly, Emilio trudged up the stairs and made his way to Joseph’s room. “I brought snacks, dudes,” he said as he walked in, setting the tray on the floor. They chimed thanks as he grabbed a handful of apple slices and a napkin and got back on Joseph’s bed.

Joseph had his eyes closed but Emilio could tell he was actually awake. Poking him, Emilio stuck out an apple slice. “Here.”

Flicking his eyes open, Joseph rolled them in a perfect imitation of his father. “What part of ‘I’m not hungry’ don’t you get?”

Shrugging, Emilio replied “You don’t have to be hungry to eat an apple, you know. Sometimes you just wanna munch on something.” He stuck the apple further in Joseph’s direction, “So, here. Munch.”

Rolling over to face away from Emilio, he muttered “No. I don’t want it.”

“I didn’t ask. I’m giving it to you and you’re going to take it.”

“You can’t make me.”

Emilio pondered for a moment. He needed something that would really get Joseph’s attention. His mind remembered when they went to Coney Island. Joseph wasn’t necessarily afraid of consequences from his mother but…

“I’ll tell your dad that you won’t eat. And that you didn’t eat anything since the morning.”

The room went quiet. Andrey turned to look at him, “That’s messed up, Emilio.”

“Just leave him alone. If he doesn’t want to eat, then you can’t force him,” Anka piped in.

In truth, he was getting a little annoyed now. “Ya, well he needs to eat. I don’t know if you guys noticed but he looks like a skeleton.”

Joseph sat up and looked at Emilio, anger flaring in his eyes. It shocked Emilio that he actually felt a little fear at the sight of it. The anger was a blazing flame he had never seen in Joseph before. “It isn’t your business. Just stop and you won’t tell tatko anything either.”

Frustration was boiling in Emilio and overthrew any fear and surprise he was feeling. Was he wrong in being worried about his friend? He didn’t think so. Joseph needed to eat; that was easily apparent on the fact that he looked like he weighed less than Anka did. And she was tinier than Joseph. If telling on him was what he needed to get Joseph to put something in his mouth, then Emilio was going to do what had to be done.

He loved Joseph too much to just watch him starve.

“It is my business because you’re my friend and I care and I’m worried about you. All I’m asking is that you eat this apple slice; it’s not like I’m saying eat an entire cow.”

“I. Don’t. Want. It.”

“Fine. I’m just going to talk to your dad then.”

Panic sparked in Joseph’s eyes. “You wouldn’t. He’s busy, you can’t just bother him with stupid things.”

“You starving yourself isn’t stupid. And just watch me. Or, you can eat this apple.”

“Emilio, just let it go. Leave him alone,” Maria murmured in Spanish. “It’s not worth fighting.”

He turned to look at Maria. “Actually, it kind of is.” Looking back at Joseph, Emilio said “Eat the apple or I’m talking to your dad.”

Joseph’s eyes flicked from the apple to Emilio’s face and back again. The panic and anger were still there but suddenly a spark of challenge was too. “You wouldn’t tell him.”

He was partially right. Emilio was really hoping Joseph would just eat the apple so he didn’t have to go downstairs and bother – he was a little scared of Mr. Kavinsky lately. But Joseph’s health depended on it; he’d fight his way through the fear just for that. Also to prove the fact that he would.

“Apple or your dad. Pick one.”

“For God’s sake, Emilio! Give it up! It’s not worth telling Tetíncho,” Andrey griped.

“Apple or your dad.”

“You can keep your stupid apple, jerk.” Joseph said, voice full of anger and annoyance.

Emilio’s heart sank. Something told him Joseph was going to be a lot like his father even if he wasn’t right now. He definitely had it in him. And now he had to make good on his word.

“Fine. You can be angry at me all you want but your health isn’t a joke to me. I’m only doing this because I care. I wish you’d put that in your thick skull.”

And with that, he dropped the apples on Joseph’s bed, bounced off and left the room, praying as he did.

  

* * *

 

Ivo sat on his bed, willing the day to be over. He couldn’t take all the people anymore which was why he had excused himself and come up here after Vesela had sat down once she had sent up the kids’ food. She could put up with all the people – it was her turn anyways.

Taking off his suit jacket, he laid down and stared at the ceiling. He let out a deep sigh, hoping it would at least take off a little of the pressure he had been dealing with. But the weight was just too heavy. Grief and stress and duties were killing him. They were so goddamn heavy. He rarely even had time to sit with Vesela and barely even saw Joseph because of his schedule. It had definitely been a shock when he had seen how thin Joseph had gotten. Why hadn’t he noticed before?

Shutting his eyes, he groaned in annoyance when there was a knock on the door. “Fuck off, no one’s here.”

“Please, Mr. Kavinsky?”

Emilio. For fucking sakes. All he needed right now. “What?”

Slowly opening the door, Emilio peeked in. “Can I come in, please?”

“I’m pretty sure I never said open.”

“Oh, sorry. But this is important?”

Ivo sighed. “Can’t it be important to someone else?”

“Uh, no actually. It kinda has to be you. I checked for you downstairs and my dad said you were up here.”

Huffing, he replied “Fine. Come the fuck in. And close the fucking door. And make this fucking quick.”

“’Kay,” Emilio murmured as he walked in and shut the door. Walking over, he sat beside Ivo and started nervously. “I want to tell you something but you have to promise that you’re not going to make it a huge deal. Joseph always says that your promises are the best.”

Ivo blinked at the kid in front of him in both confusion and annoyance. “Okay, fine. I promise I will not make whatever it is a huge deal unnecessarily.”

Emilio nodded in reassurance. “Okay so, Joseph’s not eating and hasn’t all day and I’ve been trying to get him to eat since I got here but he won’t and then I tried to get him to just eat a small apple slice and then he got mad and told me to leave him alone and that it isn’t my business. But see it is because I care and I don’t like to see him starving himself like that. And he won’t eat at all, even when Mrs. Kavinsky tried. She said she’s been trying and has tried everything besides force feeding but she’s not gonna do that. So I thought if I told you, you can at least get him to eat the apple.” He breathed heavily once he got through his mountain of words.

Staring, Ivo slowly broke down all the words he just heard in less than thirty fucking seconds. Damn, that kid could say a mouthful. “So Joseph refuses to eat, your worried, no one can get him to eat and you want me to try?”

Nodding, Emilio said “He’s not healthy. He really needs to eat. I’m just trying to help and I know he’s going to be mad at me for telling but… I care too much to let it go.”

He stared back up at the ceiling. It was kind of Emilio to care this much. But if Vesela couldn’t get Joseph to eat then Ivo was going to have to be mean to be able to. It was the only tactic that Vesela probably hadn’t tried. He might as well give it a shot if it meant he could get food into his brat’s stomach.

Looking back at Emilio, Ivo said “Leave it to me, kid.” 

 

* * *

 

Joseph was curled under his blankets, hoping and praying that Emilio was just joking. He was so afraid that Emilio actually did it and told his father. Maybe he should have just tried to force down the apple.

The room suddenly went quiet; everyone just stopped talking for no reason. _Weird…_ Joseph picked up his head to see what caught their interest when his heart stopped.

His father stood, leaning in the doorway staring at Joseph.

Biting his lip, Joseph said quietly “Hi, tatko.”

His father tilted his head, his expression still blank. Looking around, he took in everyone watching him, holding their breaths. He turned back to Joseph, “Hi, Joseph.”

It felt like his heart was about to burst out of his chest from how panicked it was beating. He knew that tone very well. Joseph whispered carefully “I’m not hungry.”

Raising an eyebrow, his father simply stared for a couple minutes before he spoke. “Where’s the apple, Joseph?”

Hand shaking, he lifted one of the slices Emilio had dumped on the bed. “Here.”

“And the rest?” Joseph lifted the other pieces for his father to see. “Are there any others?”

“There’s some in the bowl on the tray, I think,” Joseph murmured.

Nodding, his father walked to the tray, lifted the bowl, and sat on the bed beside Joseph. Handing Joseph the bowl, Joseph placed the slices he had with the rest and looked into his father’s face nervously. Hopefully, he wouldn’t be expected to eat all of them. That was like two or three apples worth.

His father was still holding the bowl in his direction. “Take it and eat every last slice in there.”

“Bu-” Joseph protested.

“No buts. Just eat.”

Joseph bit his lip hard, praying to stop his tears that were starting to form. He definitely didn’t need his father to see him cry and he really didn’t want his friends to see him either. Over an apple.

Taking the bowl, Joseph’s gaze caught with Emilio’s, who was standing in the doorway. He couldn’t believe he actually told. What kind of friend did that? It wasn’t nice and wasn’t his business in the first place. Joseph could actually feel his anger bubbling at the bottom of his heart. And the words were out before he even considered the damage and consequences.

“You’re such a bitchy snitch,” he whispered. “A fucking bitchy snitch.”

Emilio’s eyes went wide with shock and there was a flash of hurt too. He blinked hard as what looked like tears began to fall and walked away, sniffling as he did. Everyone else was still staring at Joseph trying to comprehend the fact of what he just said. His father, of course, caught up first.

“I’m sorry, I seemed to have heard something from your mouth that I shouldn’t have. Do you want to repeat that for me?”

Joseph turned back to look at the anger enflaming his father’s eyes. He was definitely in for it today. “Nothing,” he whispered while shrinking away from his father.

“Nothing? No, I’m pretty sure I just heard quite a bit actually.” His father turned to Maria. “Perhaps you can tell me what just sent your brother into tears? I know I’m not delusional just quite yet.”

Maria swallowed nervously. “People say stupid things when their mad, Mr. Kavinsky. They don’t realize their words until afterwards.”

Shaking his head, his father said “Mmm…no. That isn’t what this brat here said.” He turned to Andrey instead. “Perhaps you and your large mouth can tell me instead?”

Andrey looked worriedly between Joseph and his father. “I-I didn’t hear them very well. Sorry, Tetíncho.”

“Maybe you should get your hearing checked then. Are you going to give me some shitty excuse too, Ivet?”

She was worrying down her lip with her teeth. “I wasn’t paying attention, my lord,” Ivet whispered.

His father laughed dryly. “Of course not.” He looked to Anka, “Well?”

Anka already had tears going down her face and hastily used the edge of her sleeve to wipe them. “I’m not allowed to say those words, Tetíncho.”

“And do you think Joseph is allowed to say those words, Anka?”

Fiddling with her hands, she replied “Probably not.”

“Definitely not is the answer we’re going for. Absolutely not also works. And those words are definitely not something you would call your friend, don’t you think, Alicia?”

Alicia nodded but hurriedly said “I’m sure he didn’t mean them, though.”

Nodding slowly, his father replied “All of you out. I think Joseph and I need a few minutes alone.”

Joseph’s mouth went dry and there was no controlling the tears that began to fall as everyone walked out as quickly as they could, Andrey shutting the door behind them after casting one last glance back at Joseph. Him and his stupid mouth.

His father turned back to him, his voice like ice. “Repeat what you just said.”

“Tatko, I-”

Cutting him off, his father repeated “Repeat. What. You. Just. Said.”

Crying fully now because he knew what he was in for, Joseph said “You’re such a bitchy snitch. A fucking bitchy snitch.” He made sure not to cry out as his father wrapped his fingers into his hair, pulling hard.

“Ya, see that’s what I thought I heard but I needed to make sure. And when exactly, Joseph Kavinsky, did I allow you to use such language?”

“Never,” he cried.

His father pulled a little harder. “Damn straight. You’re lucky dyádo didn’t hear words like that coming out of your mouth. What do you think?”

It was cruel of his father to make him think about his beloved dead grandfather. But being cruel was something his father was very good at. “H-He’d be really mad and upset.”

Nodding in agreement, his father continued. “First off, you’re going to go apologize to the only friend you have and beg for his forgiveness. Then, you’re going to eat every single fucking slice of apple in this bowl. See, this wasn’t supposed to become such a huge issue. You should be thankful that you even have a friend who worries about you; not go and call him horrible things.”

Joseph simply hiccupped, sniffled, and cried as his father spoke to him, still grasping his hair. He really hadn’t meant to hurt Emilio – the words just came out. He was extremely thankful that he had him as a friend.

But he still didn’t want to eat.

“Tatko, I’m not hungry.”

His father hissed in annoyance. “I don’t give a fuck. You’re going to shove that fruit down your throat or I’ll do it for you. Do you understand?”

“B-But I’m really not hungry! I’ll probably just throw up.”

“Then throw the fuck up. I don’t give a shit. But you’re still going to eat. In fact, I’m going to go and tell mayko to make you something and you’re going to eat that too.”

Joseph wanted to curl up in frustration but there was no way with his father still yanking his hair. It hurt like crazy and was starting to throb. He was so sick of living like this. Nobody else put up with this sort of stuff. Everyone’s parents liked them; why couldn’t his? He wished he didn’t have to put up with it anymore.

He wished he was dead.

Death meant not having to go through this anymore. Death meant no more suffering. Maybe he’d even get to be with his grandfather; he definitely had gone to heaven. And Joseph felt like he also had been pretty good in his life; maybe God would let him in too. He would get to be with the only one who ever actually loved him – who didn’t do it because he got stuck with Joseph.

Death kind of seemed like freedom.

It couldn’t be that hard to kill yourself could it? His grandfather had once told his father that he could kill himself with painkillers. Maybe if Joseph took lots of them, he would die and it didn’t seem like it would hurt. He also still had his knife. If he made himself bleed out from somewhere, it wouldn’t hurt too much. Or at least, he thought it wouldn’t.

He hadn’t realized that his father had let go off his hair until he felt him wiping his tears away. “Joseph,” he whispered. “Joseph, I just want you to eat because I don’t enjoy seeing you starve yourself like this. There is nothing left of you, brat. You need to eat. Look,” he wrapped his finger and thumb around Joseph’s wrist, “I can probably wrap them twice over. You’re like a walking skeleton.’

 Joseph looked down at his wrist. It really was thin.

Maybe that was where he should use his knife.

“Joseph,” his father whispered again.

Flicking his eyes up, Joseph looked at his father. A question was eating his mind and he wanted an answer. “Tatko,” he started.

  

* * *

 

“Would you miss me if I was dead?”

Ivo stared at Joseph in surprise. _What the hell kind of question is that?_ “Of course. Don’t ask stupid questions, Joseph.”

His child simply stared back at him, face expressionless, eyes emotionless. “If I eat the apples, will you leave?”

He tilted his head in confusion; he felt like the whole entire conversation had just changed drastically but Ivo couldn’t figure it out. He almost wanted to be offended by Joseph trying to kick him out but he was still stuck on the question.

_Why the fuck would he ask that?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband


	47. Chapter 46

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come talk ppl [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> Just to point this out, Emilio in absolutely no way caused Joseph's thoughts. Whether Ivo pulled his hair in that chapter or the next or whenever, Joseph would have reached the point of being tired of the abuse he's been through. There's only so much a person can handle
> 
> As always, ENJOY
> 
>  
> 
> _“No one is taking you on my watch. My promise. I’ll tackle any asshole who even talks to you.” ___

Emilio sat on the stairs with everyone else, except he made sure he was sitting alone. He felt like such a jerk right now. When he had gone to Joseph’s father, it had seemed like the right thing to do but now he wasn’t so sure. And he definitely hadn’t expected Joseph to curse him out; Emilio figured he would be angry but not like that.

Those words hurt bad.

He wiped the fresh tears that began to trickle as Maria came and sat next to him. “You were just trying to help,” she murmured in Spanish. “He’ll see that.”

“I think all I did was make him hate me and get him into trouble,” Emilio muttered. “Didn’t exactly go the way I expected.”

“Friends get mad at each other all the time. You guys will get over it and move on. You’ll see.”

“Why the hell are you people clogging my staircase?” Mr. Kavinsky muttered behind them.

They all turned towards his voice. Emilio looked up into his face and noticed something. Mr. Kavinsky was always good at schooling his expression but at the moment, he looked worried. Confused too. His mind didn’t seem to be here right now.

Linda spoke up. “We didn’t want to bother downstairs so we thought we’d just wait here until you were done.”

Mr. Kavinsky nodded although Emilio could tell he wasn’t really paying attention. Something had happened and whatever it was had brought his brain to a full stop. “Well, you guys are welcome back in.”

Everyone stood up quickly and rushed to the room. Emilio didn’t follow though; he wasn’t ready yet. Mr. Kavinsky looked down at him, tilting his head in contemplation. After a couple minutes, he sat beside Emilio on the top step, looking down the stairs. “He didn’t mean what he said, kid.”

“I know that. Doesn’t mean it hurts any less.”

“No, no it doesn’t”

“I was just trying to help. Now everyone thinks I’m a big jerk and a tattletale.”

“Way of life. People move on and forgive.”

“Ya…I guess,” Emilio whispered as he remembered something. “You promised you wouldn’t make it a big deal…you broke your promise.”

Mr. Kavinsky turned and stared at Emilio. “I don’t break promises; I kept mine.”

Emilio shook his head. “No you didn’t. If you didn’t make it a big deal then you wouldn’t have kicked out everyone from the room to talk to Joseph alone.”

“No, I kept my promise,” he said annoyed. “Don’t call me a fucking liar.”

Blushing, Emilio replied “I didn’t mean that you’re a liar. I’m ju-”

“I threw everyone out because Joseph used language he sure as hell knows he isn’t supposed to. That is what I made an issue about. Not the food,” Mr. Kavinsky interrupted voice full of annoyance and a tinge of anger.

He looked down into his lap. “Oh.”

“Ya, oh. Watch you’re fucking manners next time.”

“Sorry,” Emilio murmured.

Huffing, Joseph’s father stood and started walking down the stairs, saying as he did “Joseph’s waiting for you.”

Emilio watched him when he realized he forgot to ask something. “Mr. Kavinsky?”

Turning back around after he reached the bottom of the staircase, Joseph’s father looked up at him. “What?”

“What’s wrong?”

He actually looked a little surprised then quickly fixed his expression. “Who said anything’s wrong?”

“Um, your face.” Emilio cringed when he realized how bad that sounded. “I mean, you look worried.”

Beginning to walk away, Mr. Kavinsky repeated behind himself “Joseph’s waiting.”

  

* * *

 

Joseph sat munching on an apple slice. He figured if he ate super slow, he wouldn’t throw up. So far, he had finished one and a half. Pretty big accomplishment in his mind.

Everyone was back on the floor, playing another game but they were much more subdued than before. He definitely didn’t blame them. But he had been surprised when Emilio hadn’t come in with them. Joseph had been planning on apologizing even if his father hadn’t told him to. But it was kind of hard without Emilio being here. Joseph was the one who owed the apology; maybe he should go find Emilio instead of him coming here.

Making his decision, Joseph placed the bowl of apples on the nightstand and got out of bed. He could tell everyone was watching him from the corner of their eyes as he made his way to the bathroom to wash up. When he finished, he grabbed his apples and walked out of the room, Peanut following behind him.

He practically tripped on Emilio on the stairs; Joseph hadn’t even noticed him when he turned the corner. “Oops,” he murmured. “My bad.”

Emilio looked at him as he sat down. Joseph stuck out an apple slice as a peace offering. “Um…Sometimes you just want to munch on something.”

Winning a small smile as Emilio took the slice, Joseph felt a little better. Now he just had to get through the harder part. “Emilio?”

“It’s okay. I shouldn’t have gone to your dad. I’m sorry.” Emilio whispered. “I deserved it.”

Joseph looked at his friend in surprise. “You don’t need to apologize; that’s what I need to do. It definitely isn’t okay. You didn’t deserve nasty words like that; you were trying to help. I’m really sorry for saying them. I was upset and I took it out on you. I shouldn’t have. So, I’m sorry for being a jerk and for hurting your feelings. You’re the best friend anyone could wish for – I’m really lucky to have you around.”

Emilio stared at him intently. “You really mean that?”

“My apology?” he asked confused.

Laughing, Emilio said “No. I know you meant that. And you’re forgiven. I know you didn’t really mean them. I was talking about you saying that you’re lucky to have me. Do you really mean it?”

He looked at him skeptically. “Of course. You’re definitely one of the best people ever. And you actually like me, unlike a lot of people.”

Watching as Emilio’s eyes lit up with an emotion Joseph didn’t quite understand. He felt like he was missing something here; he just didn’t know what it was quite yet.

  

* * *

 

Emilio wondered if it would be weird if he told Joseph he didn’t just like him; he was in love with him. When had his little crush evolved so much, he didn’t know. But Emilio definitely knew what he was feeling. That flutter in his chest every time he thought about Joseph had to mean something.

And he liked to believe it was love.

Telling Joseph that he was in love with him probably wouldn’t be a good idea just yet. He wasn’t sure why but something told him to talk to Maria first. She was always good with things like this.

Bringing his thoughts back to the present, he realized Joseph was still waiting for him to say something. He decided to go with something simple. “You’re one of the best people too, you know. Those people who don’t like you are just stupid and are missing out. I’ve had friends back in Connecticut but you’re by far the best and most amazing. I really like being your friend, Joseph.”

That did not come out as simple as he wanted.

Joseph blushed heavily, smiling as he did. Emilio’s heart was fluttering hundreds of miles per minute, not even an hour, from that smile. “Wow. Thanks,” Joseph laughed. “One of the nicest things I’ve ever heard.” He picked up another apple and slowly started gnawing on it. “I really like being your friend too.”

Emilio smiled and scooted closer to Joseph, their shoulders touching. “I can help you finish those apples if you want.”

Smiling and eyes alight, Joseph held the bowl between them as they sat on the staircase sharing some apples.

Come nightfall, Emilio was busy fixing his bed, getting it ready for sleep. He wondered what Joseph was up to. It was silly since he had seen him not too long ago but he couldn’t help himself. Their mothers had decided that Emilio could sleep over in a few days and he was excited. Sleep over by himself too; no sisters. Just him and Joseph. He was all that filled Emilio’s thoughts now. Joseph, excitement, happiness, and love.

  

* * *

 

Joseph readied his bed, eager to sleep. He needed to dream up something and he wanted enough nighttime just in case he couldn’t do it the first few times. They had some in the house but Joseph didn’t want to have to scrounge through the medicine cabinet. This way would be easier. And far less suspicious.

Plugging in his nightlight and turning off his light, Joseph jumped into his bed, curling into his blankets. Closing his eyes, he prayed for a quick sleep and a night full of dreams.

Opening his eyes, Joseph smiled with delight when he realized he was in his forest. He stood up, hurriedly looking for what he wanted in the grass and bushes. Spotting the bottle on the floor, he quickly grabbed it and urged himself to wake, hoping that one try would be plenty.

He jolted awake, a rattling sound coming from his hand. He looked closely at the pills he had dreamed up; they looked good. They had the right shape and same color of the ones he had seen his father take. The label only had a number on it – 800mg. Just like his father’s.

Sitting up, he walked over and crouched beside his nightlight to get a better look at one of the pills he took out. It sure looked like the real thing; hopefully it had the same affect. Standing once more, Joseph set the bottle on his nightstand as he filled a cup of water from the tap in his bathroom. He had become an expert at swallowing pills ever since he started his anxiety pills. This would be a piece of cake.

Once more climbing into bed, Joseph dumped four pills into his hand – that should be more than enough. He looked at the pills in his hand; did he really want to do this? A large part of him said yes, he was tired of living in his terrible life. But then there was the part of him that said no. Maybe things would get better. Wasn’t that the saying? Things get better in time. Maybe his life would.

Biting his lip, Joseph swallowed nervously. Killing yourself was permanent – there was no redo. That would be it; life would be over and if you ever had second thoughts it was too late.

Maybe he wasn’t as ready as he thought.

Joseph jumped when Peanut shoved herself into his lap. He had completely forgotten about her. It was like she knew she needed to interrupt him before his thoughts changed again. It never occurred to him that she might miss him; she did follow him everywhere so she probably loved him.

And what about everyone else? Emilio would definitely miss Joseph. Just thinking about his best friend made him feel a little guilty – he couldn’t just leave him. Emilio’s whole family would probably miss him.

Then, there was his own family. He knew for a fact his mother would miss him. Sure, she wasn’t amazing but he always knew she cared; Joseph could feel it. Tétka Nikol would miss him too. Even his cousin’s would miss him. They rarely got along but they were there for him when he needed them – they proved that much today. Venc and his family would be upset if Joseph was dead too. And Joseph really liked them; he always saw them as family even though they weren’t really.

But would his father miss him? That was what bothered Joseph the most; he didn’t have a good answer for that. His father had said of course he would but what were the chances of him meaning it? Maybe he was just saying that because fathers were supposed to miss their kids. It was rare for his father to lie but Joseph knew that he was a fantastic one when he needed to be.

He looked down at the pills again and put them back into the bottle. This shouldn’t be rushed – he needed to give it a little more thought first. Dropping to the floor after pushing Peanut out of his lap, Joseph pulled out his secret box and placed the bottle in it; he had it for when the time came. Standing back up, he put the glass back into his bathroom and then sat back onto his bed with Peanut resuming her position in his lap.

Joseph wished he had his grandfather back; he would make life a thousand times better. He would do anything to just hear his voice one last time. He would imagine his voice in his head but it just wasn’t the same. Joseph wanted to hear the real thing and be wrapped in his bear arms and smell his nice cologne.

But it was only a dream. It could never happen. His grandfather was dead.

“Only in a dream…” he whispered. “Oh my God…”

Could he dream people? Joseph didn’t know but he was able to dream lots of things. Why couldn’t he meet his grandfather in dream? It had to be possible.

Peanut mewed in annoyance when he suddenly dropped into his pillows, lying down. Shutting his eyes as tightly as he could, Joseph put the image and sound and smell of his grandfather into his brain. The only thing that existed in his brain right now was one person.

_Dyádo_

_Dyádo_

_Dyádo_

_I miss you…_

“This place is quite lovely, vnuk.”

Joseph blinked open his eyes as he sat up in the grass of his forest. He knew that voice very well. Turning, he looked into the face of his smiling grandfather beside him.

Tears brimmed in his eyes, “Dyádo!” Joseph threw his arms around him, hugging him tight. “I’ve missed you so much!”

His grandfather hugged him back, holding him close until Joseph’s tears subsided. He kissed Joseph’s head then pulled away, wiping what was left of the tears with his thumbs. “Ah, my dear Joseph. I have missed you greatly too.”

Smiling, Joseph laughed “I can’t believe it worked! I wanted to see you so much and I dreamed you! Isn’t that amazing, dyádo?”

“That is truly something. But, vnuk, what is it you have done with yourself?”

He tilted his head curiously. “What do you mean?”

His grandfather carefully grasped Joseph’s wrist. “Did you forget that eating is important? You are far too thin.”

Shrugging, he replied “But I’m never hungry, dyádo.”

His grandfather looked at him closely. “Are you going through another sad week? You did not want to eat much last time that happened.”

Joseph stared at his grandfather in surprise. “Dyádo, of course I’m sad! You’re gone!”

“That was God’s will, Joseph, and we shouldn’t question why. We must simply accept and be strong. Would you doubt your mother’s or your father’s grief because they do not show it?”

“No, of course not. I know they both miss you a lot.”

“Are they not eating from their grief?”

Biting his lip, he replied “No, but-”

His grandfather clasped his hands. “My dear vnuk, I understand that you miss me and you are hurting but you mustn’t let into your depression. Or else there will be nothing left of my wonderful grandson and I will see him sooner than I would like to in God’s kingdom.”

His tears started to flow again. “D-Don’t you miss me, dyádo?”

Clutching him close, his grandfather said quietly “I miss all of you very much. But I am not ready to know that one of you is joining me so soon. I want you all to live and enjoy the time and life God has blessed you with.”

“W-What if I can’t? What if it’s too hard?”

Worry filled his grandfather’s face. “What on Earth do you mean, vnuk? You are young and have a life ahead of you; do not say such things.”

Joseph looked down into his lap, worrying his lip as he confessed “I don’t really want to live anymore, dyádo. I was going to take some pills like tatko’s and kill myself. I don’t like my life.”

Tilting his chin upwards, his grandfather looked at Joseph, tears filling his own eyes. “My beloved Joseph…” He pulled Joseph into a tight hug, smothering him with his love. “I do not want such thoughts in your head, beautiful child. Life is hard for everyone but you mustn’t think like that. I would truly be heartbroken if you did such a thing to yourself. Please don’t.”

He could feel the fuzziness of him waking. How badly he didn’t want this dream to end – he wished he could stay in his grandfather’s embrace forever.

His grandfather pulled away one last time and looked Joseph straight in the eye. “Promise me, vnuk. Promise me when you wake up you will go tell your parents you’re having these thoughts. Tell them and they will help, that is a promise from me. Promise me.”

“I promise,” Joseph said through his sniffles.

“And promise you will eat. I will not go with the memory of my grandchild starving himself. Whether you feel hungry or not, you will eat. I don’t care what it is, I just need you to eat. Promise.”

Breathing deep, Joseph swore “I promise, dyádo.”

His grandfather smiled in relief. “Do not forgot the promises you made me, vnuk. Please.”

And with that Joseph awoke, cheeks still damp from tears but feeling happier than he had in weeks. It felt like a weight had been lifted from his chest. The confession, the tears, seeing his grandfather; it all just made him feel so much lighter.

Maybe he really could get through this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband


	48. Chapter 47

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> Big important wonderful news I have for y'all today. Well, actually it's wonderful news for some and "uh, why" news for others. If you already put 'something to do with Emilio' in your brain, then yes you're correct.  
> I was talking with my beta a few days ago and she was going on about how much she loves Emilio and stuff (I was outlining the end of Joseph/Emilio to her, it wasn't just a random moment) and then she went on about Emilio/(bet you want to know who) and how they're so adorable together and I realized that I love Emilio's story too much not to share it. The last you guys see him is the end of Joseph/Emilio and I decided that it shouldn't be even though Joseph no longer sees him.  
> So what does all this blabber mean? Well, it means that there is going to be an Emilio spin off story. Yes, he is going to get his own story that picks off where Joseph's story leaves him. I know that it technically isn't a Raven Cycle fanfic but it'll still be posted here and will be around for anyone who loves Emilio or maybe is curious just enough to wonder how his life turns out.  
> I'm aware that it probs isn't a lot of ppl but whatever. I'm giving those who would like it some suspense and excitement for the coming months (because obvs it wont be up until this story finishes). For those who aren't Emilio fans, don't worry because this is a series and there are more Joseph stories after this one.
> 
> Oh! Also, remember when I said like a month ago that I'm moving the master page to my art blog? Ya, I actually finally did! I know, I'm slow. I'm going to start actually doing the character bios too. I should have a couple up soon.
> 
> Btw, only an update on Thursday this week.
> 
> Anyways, after my freakishly long note...  
> Please enjoy today's chpt!
> 
>  
> 
> _“Time to go down a bottle of expensive alcohol. Eleven thousand dollars is gonna go down my throat tonight.” ___

Joseph stared up at the ceiling with Peanut sleeping on his stomach, who occasionally thought that kneading him with her claws was a brilliant loving idea. It wasn’t but he didn’t have the heart to shove her off. A couple pricks in his stomach wasn’t such a big deal.

He turned his head to look at the clock again: 5:30 a.m. Time was going so slow. Ever since he had woken up from his dream, Joseph couldn’t go back to sleep even though he was exhausted. He had thought about reading or something but he needed light for that and he didn’t want to risk one of his parents passing and seeing the light under the door.

So he had been lying in bed staring at the ceiling for the past five hours. Joseph couldn’t take it anymore.

“5:30…” he whispered in thought. Usually his father left around six, which meant he was probably awake now and getting ready. For the past two weeks, he came home after midnight. Which meant if he was going to tell his father about his dark thoughts, Joseph was going to have to catch him now. But he didn’t want to have to repeat himself to his mother; it was going to be hard just admitting he was going to kill himself last night once, not to have to say it again.

Looking back at the clock, Joseph made his decision. He rolled over, lightly pushing off Peanut and made sure her claws weren’t in his stomach at that moment. “Now or never, right?”

Getting out of bed and walking to the bathroom, he used it and washed up. He grabbed both his stuffed cats and called to Peanut to follow him. “We’re going to make breakfast today, Peanut. It’s not good not to eat.”

  

* * *

 

Ivo rolled and looked at his clock: 5:45 a.m. He should have gotten up a while back but damn was he exhausted. All he wanted was to rest for a day. If he would bother to appoint someone as his right-hand, he would be able to but as of now, Ivo couldn’t decide. He had been shuffling through so many names and each time he ended at the same two – the logical choice and the one he actually wanted.

Problem was that no one else wanted him.

He flicked his eyes back to the clock: 5:46 a.m. Huffing, Ivo dragged himself into a sitting position, careful not to wake Vesela. She needed as much as rest as possible; it was rare when she actually slept through the entire night. She always ended up spending it in his arms crying. Ivo wished he knew how to make her grief go away – he hated seeing her cry. But only time would make Timotei’s death easier – easier not gotten over. It would never be possible to get over it.

There was only ever coping.

Standing up, he walked to the bathroom and washed up. _Eat first then get ready. Those assholes can wait._ Usually, he did the opposite and was always rushing to leave exactly at six; he was just too exhausted today. Ivo wasn’t sure he would be able to stand anymore if he didn’t get more rest.

Walking out of the room and slowly closing the door behind himself, Ivo was surprised when he passed Joseph’s room to find the door open.  Sticking his head in, he murmured “Joseph?” He looked to the bed. _Huh… bed’s empty. Weird._

Reaching the stairs, he paused when he heard talking, tuning his ears in closely.

“Peanut, stop. I’m gonna end up tripping and then it’s not going to be pretty, you know.”

Ivo listened as Joseph pushed what sounded like his stool. God, did he hope his kid would hit a growth spurt; he was so fucking tiny. Walking the last few steps, Ivo peered out and was thoroughly surprised by what he was met with.

It looked like Joseph was making breakfast. Pancakes, eggs, and bacon. It sure smelled pretty good. He decided he was going to watch until he was caught.

Joseph bit his lip as he watched a pancake in the pan cooking. Taking the spatula, he flipped the pancake almost perfectly. “Ha! Almost had that one. Uh…seventh…ya, seventh time is the charm, Peanut. Totally got the next one.”

Peanut stood and leaned on the cabinet, batting at Joseph’s leg. “Stop,” he muttered. “You already ate, you drank, and you had a treat. Now it’s my turn to eat but I’m gonna mess up the food if you keep bothering.”

_My turn to eat? Is he really going to?_ Damn blessing if he was.

Ivo watched as Joseph poured batter for the next pancake. “I think…” he looked at the other pan on the stove, “I think this one is hot enough for the bacon now. I’m pretty sure I just have to put it in.”

Checking his pancake one last time, Joseph stepped off his stool and grabbed the bacon from the fridge. Stepping back up, he counted out slices. “Let’s see… Mayko usually eats two,” he placed two in the pan, “and tatko has three but he steals mayko’s sometimes so he’ll get an extra.” Joseph placed another four, lining them up nicely in the pan. “And one for me. I don’t think I can manage more than that.” He added one last slice.

“Okay, now the pancake…” he trailed off as he flipped it expertly. “Yes!” Joseph yelled triumphantly as he raised a fist to the air. He quickly slapped his hand on his mouth and turned to look at the stairs, probably seeing if he awoke anyone.

Of course, Ivo was already awake and standing, leaning against the wall and smiling. “Seventh is the charm, right?”

Joseph blushed. “How long have you been there?”

Ivo shrugged his shoulders, “Didn’t know you could cook.”

He smiled a little, “I can’t but I read the directions on the pancakes and I’m pretty sure about the bacon. I’m going to say my prayers when it’s time for the eggs though.”

Laughing, Ivo said “I’ll do the eggs, no worries.” He walked over to the kitchen, kissing Joseph’s head when he reached. “Let’s finish and wake up mayko. It’ll be a nice surprise.”

Biting his lip, Joseph looked up into Ivo’s face. “Um, tatko? After…after breakfast I-I need to tell you and mayko something, okay? So don’t leave right after?”

He raised his eyebrow in both question and confusion. Worry too. Ever since Joseph had asked him if he would miss him, Ivo was a little concerned about his child. “No problem. To be honest, I’m thinking of just staying home today. I’m too tired to deal with shit right now.”

For some reason, the last sentence made Joseph’s brow furrow in worry. “U-Um but I really need to tell you something?”

“I said no problem, Joseph.”

“But you said you’re too tired to deal with anything? This is super important, tatko. A-And…it’s kind of a huge something…”

Ivo cocked his head in confusion. “How about you tell me now? And we’ll go from there.”

Joseph shook his head. “I need to tell mayko too and I really don’t want to have to say it twice.”

Worrying his lip, Ivo replied “Okay I guess…” Breathing deeply, he turned to the stove. “Let’s get this done, ya?”

Nodding, Joseph gave a small smile. “Just watch out for Peanut. She scratched me twice already, wanting attention.”

  

* * *

 

Yawning, Vesela checked the clock: 6:05 a.m. She turned and checked beside her to find Ivo gone. That was odd; usually he would tell her when he was leaving to let her know. Then she noticed his phone was still on his nightstand. _Hmm…_

Sitting up, she tried to rub the sleep out of her eyes unsuccessfully. She was a little surprised that she was already awake – generally, Vesela only woke this early when she had something to do.

Her stomach growled loud in the silence of the room.

Laughing, “That could be why.” Stretching, she got out of bed, still yawning as she walked to wash up. Walking into the bathroom, she noticed Ivo’s towel still beside the shower, which hadn’t been used yet. _Really weird…_ It wasn’t like him to be late – he hated people who were late not to make himself into one of them.

Walking out of the bathroom and her room, Vesela was stopped by the delicious smell of breakfast. _Is_ _Ivo making breakfast?_  Passing Joseph’s room, she realized it was empty. Shaking her head in confusion, Vesela realized she wasn’t going to make any sense of things until she got her ass downstairs.

She reached the bottom step as Peanut let out a yelp. “Fucking cat! Why are you right behind me?”

“I warned you, tatko,” she heard Joseph mutter. “Come ‘ere Peanut. It was an accident; he didn’t mean it.”

“If I meant it, I would’ve stepped harder,” Ivo muttered. “Not that she didn’t technically deserve it. She’s been dogging my steps this whole time. God punishes.”

Vesela stepped out and watched as Ivo walked with two mugs of coffee to the dining table. “My men making breakfast? This is shocking. Is the world ending?”

Ivo rolled his eyes as he placed the coffee at his and her plates. Joseph laughed – it didn’t really have much happiness or feeling in it but it was a laugh nonetheless. He walked over with Peanut in his arms, “No, mayko, not yet I think.” He placed Peanut on the floor and hugged Vesela tight. “Morning,” he murmured.

Crouching, Vesela hugged him close. “Morning, baby. It’s wonderful to see your beautiful face. And what do I owe the pleasure of you actually being down here?”

Joseph bit his lip as he looked at his hands. “I-I thought I’d try eating something today. More than just my bowl of cereal.”

Vesela smiled in delight. She had no clue what had caused Joseph to try eating but she sure as hell wasn’t going to complain. “Well, I’ll count my blessings then. It’ll be nice having you down for breakfast again.”

Standing, she looked over at Ivo. “You haven’t left yet?”

“I think I’m skipping today,” he said as he sat down.

“Skipping?” Walking over with Joseph behind her, they each sat in their chairs. “Ivo, you can’t just skip. That’s not how it works.”

Annoyance filled his eyes. “I think I’m far more aware than you on how these things work.”

She huffed in her own annoyance. “I’m just saying that-”

He cut her off, “I don’t give a shit what you’re saying. I’m taking the day off and that’s that. Those old pricks will survive a day without me.”

Rolling her eyes, Vesela picked up her fork and began to eat. “Whatever. It’s too early for this.” She looked over at Joseph who was just staring at his food. “Maybe at least eat the pancake?”

Looking up, he nodded “I’ll try.” He picked up his own fork and started stabbing pancake bits. Joseph took a breath before he put it in his mouth, chewing very slowly and then swallowing.

“So,” she started, “What inspired this breakfast?”

“I just wanted to make you guys breakfast is all,” Joseph murmured as he took a nibble of bacon.

Vesela looked at Joseph in surprise; she figured he helped but she didn’t think it was his idea. “You did this?”

Ivo spoke up. “I came downstairs and found him, Peanut, Lord Hideous, and his lady making breakfast. But I did make the eggs and coffee. I made myself useful.”

Joseph gave a small smile at his father, “Thank you, tatko.”

“Thank you, Joseph,” Vesela said. “That was really sweet of you.”

He just shrugged and went back to his nibbling, something worrying his mind.

  

* * *

 

Joseph paced nervously in his room after breakfast. Luckily his food had stayed down even though he was feeling a little nauseous. His father was in the shower and his mother was cleaning up after breakfast. His stomach was churning not just from the food but from his nerves too. Telling his parents about his suicidal thoughts terrified him. What if his grandfather was wrong and they wouldn’t help?

“I can do this…” he whispered to himself. “It’s going to be okay and they’re gonna help. Dyádo doesn’t lie.”

He continued to pace until he heard his father turn off the water. Taking a deep breath, he walked out of his room and decided to just wait on his parents bed. Being there already would help. No big entrance required.

Walking in, Joseph climbed onto the unmade bed and wrapped himself in their blankets as he sat. Peanut came running and jumped up, lying beside him. He turned his head to look at his father as he walked out with just his towel around his waist. He looked surprised to see Joseph sitting.

“There’s this thing called privacy. And this thing allows me to get dressed in peace, you know.”

Joseph just shrugged. “I can cover my eyes with the blanket if you want. Peanut’s eyes too if she makes you uncomfortable.”

His father rolled his eyes as he walked to his dresser. “Is there a particular reason you’re wrapped in my bed?”

“I gotta talk to you, remember?”

“I remember,” he said as he slipped on underwear under his towel, pulling it off once he had them on. “But I kind of figured that would be after I was dressed.”

Shrugging once more, Joseph murmured “I’m just waiting. Mayko still has to get here.”

He watched as his father put on a pair of sweats and a long sleeve. He dug through his drawer picking out a pair of socks. They all looked like the same old black to Joseph but not to his father. Finally deciding on the one he wanted, his father walked over and sat on the bed, putting on his socks. He stood once more, walking to the mirror and started brushing his hair.

“I think I need a trim,” his father murmured as he examined his hair. Joseph just watched – he didn’t know what exactly he was supposed to reply to that.

“Ivo, why is your towel on the floor?” His mother muttered as she walked in.

“Because.”

Huffing, she picked it up and threw it at him, messing up his hair. “Because, my ass.”

“Yes, your ass is quite fine, my lady,” he laughed as he yanked the towel off and fixed his hair again.

“My God, you’re too much sometimes.” She smiled when she noticed Joseph, “I didn’t notice you there all wrapped up like you’re expecting a freeze or something.”

“Just waiting for you guys,” he whispered.

The amusement left as his mother’s eyes filled with concern as she sat beside him. “Well, we’re ready if you are.”

Joseph grew even more nauseous than before as he looked at his parents. “U-Um… okay.” He watched as his father sat cross-legged across from him, eyes filled with worry. This was going to be hard.

“I-I need to say something and it’s a pretty big deal… B-But you have to promise you guys won’t be mad at me.”

“Of course we won’t get mad, Joseph,” his mother said, kissing his head. She turned to his father, “Ivo?”

His father nodded. “You have my promise.”

Joseph felt a little better by their promises. Taking a huge breath, he started carefully. “I’ve b-been having some bad thoughts lately.”

His mother’s voice was filled with worry. “What kind of thoughts?”

Biting his lip hard, he continued carefully “I-I…” He trailed off – Joseph wasn’t sure he could really do this.

“What, Joseph?” His father asked.

“I’ve been thinking…” he trailed off once more. “I’ve been thinking about…”

  

* * *

 

“…maybe…” Joseph trailed off again. The suspense was killing Ivo. _What kind of bad thoughts could a child have?_

He knew Joseph was going through depression – Ivo had made sure to ask a doctor if it was possible in children – but the doctor told him not to worry. Sometimes children had moods. Ivo had always felt the doctor was wrong; he himself had gone through depression. He knew exactly what it looked like and Joseph was it. When he mentioned it to Vesela, she had agreed with him.

_“But don’t you find it weird?”_

_“Why?” Ivo asked as he finished from the bathroom, getting ready for bed. “People go through depression. That’s pretty normal. Children aren’t any different; they’re people.”_

_She looked at him from where she sat on the bed. “But Ivo, how can he be going through depression? I’m not talking about the fact that he’s a child; I’m talking about how he’s already on antidepressants.”_

_He bit his lip as he thought. Ivo sometimes forgot that Joseph’s anxiety pills were actually antidepressants. “Maybe they just don’t work for him that way?”_

_Vesela looked down at her hands as her voice grew quieter. “I don’t know. All I know is that my baby is a nervous depressed wreck that I’ve no idea how to help anymore.”_

_Laying down, Ivo looked up into her face. “We should try talking to a different doctor and see what they think. Maybe we should talk to Claudia. She’s a nurse not a doctor but that doesn’t mean she wouldn’t know.”_

_“Ya, maybe…”_

But they had never gotten the chance before Timotei had been murdered. And now here they were with Joseph an even bigger wreck than he was before.

“ _Would you miss me if I was dead?”_

Depression. Ivo knew what it did to your mind. He just couldn’t believe his son might have reached that point.

“You’ve been thinking about suicide, haven’t you?”

Joseph eyes went wide with surprise that Ivo had caught on to what he had to say. He bit his lip and looked down at his hands, nodding.

Vesela looked between Ivo and Joseph, eyes huge. If she didn’t know how to help before, she was probably even more lost now. Ivo wished Timotei was here; he would know exactly what to do and say. Ivo was just as lost as Vesela. He knew there were certain things he definitely shouldn’t say or ask but he had no idea on anything else.

He watched as Joseph took a deep breath and swallowed. No wonder he was so nervous about telling them. But Ivo was grateful that he had come to them – he didn’t want Joseph going through these types of thoughts by himself.

“I-I…” Joseph began only to falter once more. Swallowing down his nerves, he tried again. “I was going to last night,” tears began to fill Vesela’s eyes as she gasped, “but… but then Peanut kind of stopped me.”

Ivo turned his glance to the sleeping cat beside Joseph. He had never loved a cat more than right that second. Damn if he wasn’t going to buy her a whole fucking fish just for her to enjoy.

Vesela hugged Joseph tight. “I really really _really_ appreciate you coming to talk to us. It’s good that you did. You never have to be alone with thoughts like that, baby. Anytime they come back, I need you to come talk to me or your bashtá, okay?”

Joseph nodded into his mother. “’Kay,” he whispered.

  

* * *

 

She continued running her fingers through Joseph’s hair as he slept on her bed, head in her lap. All that ran through her mind was that her eight-year old son was suicidal.

Vesela could have woken up and found her baby dead in his bed today.

Fresh tears formed in her eyes. God did she love Peanut; she leaned over Joseph and pet her head as the cat purred in content.

Looking up, she watched as Ivo walked back into the room, finishing up his phone call. “So?”

He sat beside her, first placing a kiss on her cheek, then Joseph’s. There were times when she genuinely questioned if Ivo loved his son – he had never wanted him. Vesela hadn’t wanted a child at the time either but God had blessed her with a pregnancy and she figured that early was better than never. Or rather, she had finally come to that conclusion after a week and some talking with Nikol.

It had never crossed her mind until she told Ivo that he didn’t agree. But as the years passed, Vesela noticed that Ivo was enjoying time with Joseph more than he used to. He wasn’t as harsh after the kidnapping and he hadn’t exactly hit him yet. Vesela took them as good signs.

“I talked to a different doctor and got an appointment for tomorrow and I guess we’ll go from there.”

“But what about the fact that his pills technically aren’t doing what they should?”

“Apparently,” Ivo huffed in annoyance, “Some antidepressants can actually worsen mental or emotional problems in children which can lead to suicidal thoughts. Sounds fucking counterproductive to me.”

Vesela stared at Ivo. “Seriously?”

“Ya, seriously. That bitch doctor never mentioned that when she prescribed him it. And I asked specifically what the side effects are.” Huffing again, Ivo’s face took on a dangerous look.

“Bitch is gonna get it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget that doctors didn't used to believe that children can go through depression. It's currently 2003 in case anyone needs a reminder
> 
>  
> 
> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband


	49. Chapter 48

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> So warning for this chapter which has been added to the tags. Make sure you check them out.
> 
> Another thing? Ivo's a piece of shit in case anyone was unaware or forgot.
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
>  
> 
> _“We men are currently having a crisis, if you could come back later? Please and thank you.” ___

His phone buzzed on the nightstand, vibrating over and over, breaking the silence of the early morning, and waiting for Raul to pick it up. Huffing and realizing that covering his head with the blanket wasn’t going to do him any good, Raul dragged himself over from where he was curled with Claudia and grabbed his phone. He sighed with exhaustion upon reading the name.

“Work is calling, I’m guessing?” He answered, flipping his phone open and careful to keep his voice down. He didn’t want to wake Claudia or Alondra. Today was supposed to be one of his easier days that included some paperwork and the chance to sleep in. Obviously, the day had a different plan for him.

“That’s right! Get moving and I’ll come pick you up,” Savelio said, being far too chipper for this time of morning. People shouldn’t be so hyper at five.

“Okay, I’m getting up,” Raul dragged himself out of bed, grabbed his towel from off the chair, and made his way to the shower. “Got any details for me?”

“So far the initial stuff I’ve got is…” she trailed off as he heard some papers shuffling. “Uh, we’ve got a 46 year old female… Nadia Castillo. _Doctor_ Castillo. Besides for some personal life details, I’ve got nothing about her murder except that she was found by her husband in her office in the hospital she works in.”

“I’m jumping into the shower and I’ll meet you downstairs. Oh, and don’t forget my coffee, please. Guess we’ll find out today’s horrors when we get there.”

Finishing his shower and quietly leaving the apartment, Raul made his way down the lovely three flights of stairs. “Keeps us all fit,” he muttered. He had been saving more lately, hoping to move them into a nicer place soon. Or, at least, a building with an elevator.

Walking out to Savelio, he got into the car and buckled up. He looked at the coffee closest to him. “That one’s mine? Black, I hope?”

Savelio rolled her eyes, “Oh no, I laced it with cream and sugar. Now you’re going to die and it’s the end of the world.” She began driving as she continued, “I’ve no clue what you people have against sweetened coffee. It’s delicious.”

Raul sipped his coffee as he reached for the folder on the dash. “I don’t judge you. I just prefer mine nice and bitter.” Flipping open the folder, he looked at a picture of the doctor. “So, husband found her?”

“Yup. Went in around fourish and found her dead and called the cops.”

He turned to Savelio in confusion. “If he found her at four, why did it take an hour for us to get the call to go in? Maybe twenty minutes, tops, but why a whole hour? What time did he call?”

His partner made a face as she contemplated this. “Good question… I guess we’ll ask. If he waited, why did he?”

“Guess we just found our first suspect,” he murmured as he continued looking through the papers. “Maybe Dr. Castillo and her husband aren’t the upstanding doctors they’re thought to be.”

  

* * *

 

Raul had seen lots of dead bodies. He had seen tons of murder victims. He had worked in the gang unit in Connecticut, so he had definitely seen things. But this? This was something else. He was surprised they had even been able to positively I.D. the poor woman.

It was like a scene from a horror movie.

Her body was tied to her desk chair by her wrists and ankles. Her mouth looked like it was sewn shut; black thread creating even neat stitches. But if it was to make sure she didn’t speak, it didn’t matter much. Her jaw was broken, crooked and to the side. The Doctor’s mouth was probably sewn so she wouldn’t scream. Raul studied the place where her head had been bashed in; probably what finally ended the poor woman’s misery. He hoped her eyes had been taken out after her death and not before. There were just the empty gaping sockets of her face.

“This…” Savelio trailed off, “This is something else…”

Raul walked closer to examine the body as he slipped on a pair of gloves, mindful of where he stepped. “Welcome to your first torture scene, Savelio.”

“Gee, thanks,” she muttered. “This is one of those things I don’t mind missing out on.”

“I don’t blame you,” he murmured back. “I’ve seen a lot but this sure is something entirely different.”

Looking closely at where Dr. Castillo was tied by her wrists, Raul realized that the doctor had no fingers. Her hands were simply nubs. He watched as the medical examiner used small scissors to remove the stitching that had sewn Dr. Castillo’s mouth shut. “I had a feeling,” she said after looking inside the Doctor's mouth; she turned and looked at Raul, “Tongue’s gone.”

Savelio let out a small noise. “What the hell… I mean, I avoided the gang unit so I don’t have to deal with stuff like this. Well, maybe just not as much of this.” She looked a little queasy, “This is insane…”

“Wait…” the examiner trailed. “I found it.” He and Savelio watched as the M.E. used a pair of clasps to pull out the tongue, a red mass that had been bunched into almost a sort of ball. “It was shoved in her throat. Almost like a gag.”

His partner was started to look a little green. “He used her tongue as a gag? That’s disgusting…”

“You’re right,” Raul murmured.

“Obviously. My stomach is churning like crazy.”

“Well, yes, it is gross but I was talking about our suspect being a ‘he’. It’s more likely to be a male rather than female.”

“The place is surprisingly clean,” the M.E. interrupted as she continued her examination. “With this amount of trauma and torture inflicted, the place should be a mess. But there isn’t a drop of blood to be seen.”

Raul glanced around the room once more. It was a little odd how pristine the room was; besides for the body, nothing was out of place. He turned to one of the techs standing near him, “Make sure you collect all the paperwork and files. This was personal and the best place to start is her family and anyone she worked with. That includes both coworkers and patients.”

He stripped off his gloves and shoe covers as he walked out of the office, Savelio following. Her small brown eyes were filled with horror. “Would you blame me if I threw up?” she asked, whispering.

“Not at all. First time seeing a torture victim is hard. Seeing one like the doctor? Even harder.”

“I feel so bad for her… she must have suffered so bad, Vidal.”

He turned and looked back at his partner. “It’s torture. Of course she suffered. Now it’s our job to find the monster.”

  

* * *

 

Joseph was laying down on his parents’ bed, staring at his father who was sleeping. His parents had wanted him to sleep with them for the next week or two. Since his confession yesterday, they were too worried to leave him alone. It was already noon and him and his mother had had breakfast earlier. But his father was still sleeping, so Joseph had joined him after he had washed up. He didn’t feel like doing anything today.

School didn’t even occur to Joseph anymore. No matter how much he loved it, it was the last thing in the world he wanted to deal with. Winter vacation started next week, so there was no point of him going back before then. Hopefully, he would be able to convince his parents not to send him after the vacation finished. Maybe even for the rest of the school year.

Joseph watched as his father began to stir. Slowly blinking his eyes open, his father stared at Joseph for a while before he spoke. “Hello.”

“Hi,” Joseph whispered, hugging Mr. Cat and Lady Calico close. “Sorry if I bothered you.”

“You weren’t even moving; how exactly did you bother me?”

Joseph shrugged, “I’m just saying.” He looked at his father intently. “Tatko… why are you still home? And so tired?”

His father scooted closer, hugging Joseph close, “Some late business is all. It was… time-consuming and a bit of work. I’m going to leave in a bit though. After lunch probably.”

Nodding into his father’s chest, he said “Do I have to go to the doctor? I don’t want to. They’re gonna have to ask tons of questions that I don’t want to answer.”

“Well, you can either talk to me and mayko or the doctor. Either way, we need you talking.”

His stomach churned. He really didn’t want to talk to anyone; if there was one person in the world he would talk to, it would be his grandfather.

But he was dead.

Tears began to fill Joseph’s eyes and the sniffles began. He hoped his father was in one of his nicer moods as he wiped the tears into his father’s shirt.

Joseph felt his father smoothing back his hair, “If you want, we can skip the doctor but you have to promise that you’re going to talk to me and mayko. The last thing I need is for one of us to wake up and find your body.”

Biting his lip, he whispered “I can promise the first part.”

His father’s hand stopped, “Only the first?”

“Only the first what?” His mother asked as she walked in with the laundry. She placed the basket on the bed as she sat beside it and began sorting. He could hear the very faint nervousness in her voice. “Oh so, we're going to Nikol’s for dinner today.”

Joseph felt his father stiffen. “I’m sorry, what?”

His mother continued to fold as she spoke, her voice a little stronger. “She invited for dinner, so we're going.”

“ _You_ can go. Alone. Me and Joseph will stay put. You shouldn’t have decided by yourself.”

“For God’s sake, Ivo, why do you always have to make shit difficult? It's just dinner, you're not going to die,” she said, voice filled with annoyance.

“Ya, well dinner is asking too much.” His father sat up and ruffled a hand through his hair, “Just enjoy dinner with your bitch sister by yourself.”

Joseph looked over to his mother, who he could tell was getting angry by the way she was fixing the laundry. “Fine. Stay. But Joseph’s coming with me.”

He really didn’t want to go but he didn’t want to make her angrier and have her anger directed towards him. “What is she making?” He mumbled out, hoping that at least his Tétka was making something he liked.

His father jabbed him in the shoulder. “You're not going.” He then turned to his mother, “He's not going.”

Her face filled with a mixture of frustration and annoyance. “Of course he's going. Why wouldn't he be?”

Rolling his eyes, his father replied “Uh, because I said so.”

His mother clutched the shirt she had in her hand tight. “I don’t give a shit what you said.”

Joseph knew things were only going to get uglier; it was one of those days. And it was going to be bad because he was included.

“All you're ever going to be is a bitch, aren’t you? That’s all you're ever fucking good at. Your mouth runs a bit much nowadays.”

He didn’t know what to do. All he knew was that he was stuck in the middle of what was going to become a nasty argument. Joseph couldn't just get up and leave; he hoped they would continue to ignore him. If they dragged him in, it would get a thousand times worse – they would start expecting him to pick sides. That was one of the worst things they could do. No matter if he stayed neutral or picked a side, it was always the wrong choice.

“Have you heard yours? It only ever has shit spouting out of it. Why I put up with you, I don’t know anymore. I should just take my baby, pack up, and go. I’m so sick of this.” She started throwing the laundry back into the basket as she stood. “You always make issues out of the stupidest things.”

His father was silent. Joseph risked a glance at him but his face was blank. He prayed his father wouldn’t grasp onto what he thought he would. He wished his mother hadn’t said it.

“If your so intent on leaving, then you can go, whore,” his father started, his voice like ice. “In fact, why doesn’t Timotei’s daughter the whore go stay with his daughter the bitch? If anyone shouldn’t have to put up with this, it’s me. I’m not the one who went and fucked someone for weeks who wasn’t my spouse. Just pack up your shit and go. Don’t forget your rags; can’t get yourself a john without them.”

Joseph already had silent tears long before his father finished his speech. He just couldn’t listen any longer; he couldn’t take this anymore. Sitting up, he latched onto his cats and got out of the bed with his parents watching. Reaching the door, he turned and looked at them each in turn, angry tears filling his eyes. “If anyone is so sick and tired of this, it’s me. I should’ve just killed myself the other day and been done with both of you.”

And he slammed the door behind himself. Whatever punishment was coming, Joseph didn’t care. All he knew was that he really couldn’t do this anymore.

  

* * *

 

Vesela stared at the door after Joseph had slammed it. Tears welled in her eyes; they were breaking her baby little by little. She sat on the edge of the bed and looked down into her lap. Ivo wasn’t even moving; he was still staring at the door.

She loved her husband; despite everything and no matter what. Despite his nasty words and the two times he had beaten her, she loved her bastard. But there were times when their home was a toxic wasteland and Joseph was always stuck in the middle.

This was one of those moments.

Joseph was already broken as it was; he was so young and yet his life had been filled with so much garbage. Vesela wasn’t going to put him through this anymore. She just couldn’t.

Standing up, she walked to her closet and pulled out a suitcase and a duffel. If her baby was going to wake up and thrive, he needed to get away for a while. He needed to breathe some fresh air. A vacation. Placing the bags on the bed, she opened them up when her gaze caught with Ivo’s. “What?”

Ivo’s eyes flicked to and fro from each bag. “You’re not taking him.”

She had never bothered fighting against Ivo about Joseph before. Vesela had always simply let them deal with each other – she was always too afraid to stick herself in between. But Joseph needed to get away, even if it was just for a few days.

She was going to fight for him today.

“I’m taking him,” Vesela replied as she shoved some of her clothes into the suitcase. She didn’t even care what she was packing – moving as fast as possible was the important part. Ivo was going to try and stop her; not for her though. He was trying to prove a point, so her leaving didn’t bug him. He knew she’d come back eventually.

What he wanted was his son.

Anger was filling Ivo’s eyes as he got off the bed, yanking the duffel away. “He’s staying.”

Whatever, she’d just use a different bag. Vesela was pretty sure there was one in Joseph’s closet. Finishing with her stuff, she zipped her bag closed and dragged it behind her as she walked to Joseph’s room.

Ivo grabbed her arm before she reached it. She could tell he was getting annoyed that she was ignoring him. Turning her so she was face to face with him, he snarled “Don’t ignore me, whore. I said he’s staying put.”

“You just don’t get it, do you?” Vesela shouted as she yanked her arm back. “You’re so fucking dense! Should I spell it out to you why Joseph is such a wreck? He can’t even breathe in this house, Ivo. My child is suffocating here – no, you know what? He’s dying. There’s nothing left of him beca-” she stopped abruptly. Vesela wasn’t sure if she had it within her to finish the sentence.

Ivo stared at her, face contorted with so much hatred and anger – a disgusting look on his handsome mug. He stood with his arms crossed, waiting. “What’s wrong, bitch? I thought you were enlightening me? Because of what?”

  

* * *

 

“Because of you,” Joseph whispered as he watched the blood drip down onto the shower tile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband


	50. Chapter 49

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> I wasn't originally planning to update today but... I didn't want to leave Hatty on their knees. There'll still be the update on Sunday, no worries. And I'm writing as fast as I can so we can do updates three times a week. School kind of takes my time... BUT I'M TRYING
> 
> Tag update, check it out. And certain part of this chpt made my beta queasy, so you've been warned. But maybe she just has a weak stomach.  
> Enjoy!
> 
> I felt like this line was appropriate for today's chpt. They kinda match  
>  _“When I say ‘I love you’ it’s because I do. The least you could do is believe those words on the basis that I’m not a liar, if nothing else.” ___

It was almost…

Beautiful.

Splatters speckled here and there.

A work of art.

  

* * *

 

_Because of you._

Ivo could hear the unsaid words as he looked at Vesela’s anger stricken face. He had to admit that he was surprised she was fighting so hard for Joseph. Usually, Vesela wouldn’t even bother with her _baby_. Especially when it was between him and Ivo.

Frustrated tears began to fill Vesela’s crisp beautiful eyes. “Ivo,” she whispered, “I love you but you’re the problem. You are what is breaking Joseph into pieces. He needs to breathe; he shouldn’t have to worry if you’re in a bad or good mood. He’s supposed to get excited when his father comes home, not afraid and nervous.”

He simply stared as she spoke. Being stricken into silence wasn’t something that happened often. Honestly, he didn’t even know what to say.

Because those words had some goddamn truth to them. Stupidity was never something Ivo could claim.

Watching as she opened Joseph’s door and walked in, he knew what he was going to do.

Ivo needed to let them go. He would just have to pray they would come back.

 

* * *

“Time is estimated around two thirty this morning and cause of death was blunt force trauma to the head,” Savelio said as she walked up behind him, settling herself in her desk across from him. “Just like we thought but, I mean, that much was obvious.”

“That was the easy part,” he muttered as he took a sip of his third cup of coffee. He should really eat something; Claudia was always more than happy to give him the ‘coffee isn’t food’ lecture.

“No signs of sexual assault…” She murmured as she read the report. Glancing up at him, Savelio fidgeted her hands. “Oh and the coroner found her eyes. They were…” Savelio trailed off as she turned green once more today.

Raul prompted her to continue, “They were what?”

His partner cleared her throat, “Uh, our suspect made her eat them. Coroner found chewed up eyeballs in her stomach. She made the conclusion that they were the doctor’s.”

Choking on his coffee, he muttered “I’m sorry, did you just say Dr. Castillo ate her eyes?”

She nodded tersely, “Mhmm…”

“Dear God…” Raul felt his own stomach churning. Maybe he didn’t want to eat anymore; he’d rather take the lecture right now. Even drinking seemed too farfetched after hearing that.

“This is one sick bastard… I can’t wait to catch him and see what he’s actually like.”

“Me and you both,” Raul said as he read through a list of names. The techs had delivered piles of files from Nadia Castillo’s office twenty minutes ago and he was already exhausted. It was so much information to shuffle through. They had the names of coworkers and patients but nothing more.

Raul prayed they would get lucky and something would catch.

“Huuuhh…” Savelio sighed as she flipped through her own pile of files after some time had passed in silence. “I mean, what are we looking for? We’ve got nothing from the husband – despite thinking we would, her parents, or friends. What exactly is going to catch our eyes in all these names?” She flipped another page. “I mean it’s just loads of names in alphabetical order.”

“What letters do you have? I’m going through ‘N’ at the moment.” Conversation would be nice, he figured.

“Currently… I’m up to the K’s. Karlington… Katsin… Kavinsky… Ker-”

Raul looked up quickly from his papers as he interrupted. “Wait, what?”

His partner glanced up to him. “Uh, what.”

“Did you just say Kavinsky?”

She looked back down at her share of names as she slid her finger down, reading through the names again. Tapping her finger on a name, Savelio replied “Yup, here he is. Joseph Ivo Kavinsky.” She grabbed a pen out of the cup on her desk and circled his name.

_Joseph Ivo Kavinsky… I was never a believer in coincidences. Maybe we just caught a break._ “Let’s start there.”

“Particular reason?” she asked as she booted up her computer.

Standing and walking to stand over her shoulder, Raul answered “His father is the new head of the Bulgarian mob.”

“Oh damn.”

“Damn straight. And get this.”

“Hit me,” she replied as she got ready to type. “Hold up, father’s name?”

“Ivo Kavinsky.” He watched as she typed in his name and pressed enter. They waited as the system loaded up.

“So?” Savelio asked.

“Mm? Oh ya, so get this. I’m pretty sure Ivo quite enjoys sewing people’s mouths shut.”

She turned and looked at him. “Wait, wait a minute. Little more than two weeks ago, we caught a case about that boss who got sniped before gang unit took it from us. That guy was Bulgarian…” Raul watched as his partner began to connect the pieces. “Ivo… You called the guy in the ambulance who you took home Ivo. You said Emilio was friends with Dobrev’s grandson who is…”

“Joseph Ivo Kavinsky,” Raul finished her sentence as Ivo’s face popped up onto the screen. Well, it was Ivo but it wasn’t a nice clean mugshot. It was more of an angle shot, probably from some type of security camera. He probably had never been arrested before.

“All right, let’s see… Ivo Yosef Kavinsky. Age 34. Born March 3rd, 1969 in Sofia, Bulgaria and emigrated to this amazing country and became a citizen when he was 21.”

Raul raised an eyebrow in confusion. 21? He knew Vesela was born here and had never traveled to Bulgaria before. But the photo on their dresser was dated ’88. Ivo would have been 19. “He was here before he received citizenship. By at least 2 years.”

Savelio scrolled through whatever they had on record for Ivo. “No that can’t be right. Says he was given a green card in 1990. Got his citizenship pretty quick after that.”

He shook his head. “He was here before then. Ivo met his wife here and there’s a picture on their dresser dated ’88.”

His partner looked at him in surprise. “Their dresser? You’ve been to a mobster’s house? In his bedroom?”

“I’ve had dinner at his house and have gone to Coney Island with the man.”

“Well then, talking to him shouldn’t be a problem. We’ll just go to his house and go from there. We probably won’t find anything but between you and me, I’m sure we can figure something out.”

Raul nodded in thought. It would be a damn good start.

  

* * *

 

“Joseph?” Vesela called as she walked into the room and didn’t find him. The bathroom door was closed; he was most likely in there.

Walking to his closet, she opened it up and looked for the bag that she thought was there. She spotted it on the top shelf and stretched up, yanking it down. “Joseph,” she called again. _Why is it so quiet?_

Vesela flicked a glance towards the bathroom door; she didn’t believe in invading someone’s privacy but something was off. It was just a feeling in her gut.

A bad feeling.

Tossing the bag on the bed and walking to the bathroom, she knocked and called out again, “Joseph?” Getting no answer, Vesela tried the knob, only to find it locked. She knocked once more, “Joseph? Baby, either answer or open please.”

Silence was all there was.

“What the hell…” If she had to bust the door open, then she was going to. The silence was unnerving and eating at her. Something had to be wrong.

She nearly had a heart attack when she turned and found Ivo in her face. “The fuck, Ivo? Make some noise or something. Jesus…”

Standing with his arms crossed, he rose an eyebrow at her and said “Oops.” He flicked his gaze from her to the bathroom door and back again. “Something wrong?”

She turned back and looked at the door. Why bust her own leg when she had a husband who probably did it a thousand times before? Make use of what she had. “Actually, maybe,” she said as she tucked away some hair from her eyes. “He’s not answering and I’m getting kind of worried.”

Ruffling a hand through his hair, Ivo walked to the door and knocked. “Joseph? Open up, brat. Or at least answer.”

Silence.

Vesela watched as Ivo bit his lip in thought – she always found it sexy for some reason. He tried the knob again and then realizing what she did a few minutes ago, backed up a couple feet. Looking at the door for a couple seconds, Ivo lifted his leg and kicked hard under the doorknob. The door budged but nothing more. Taking a step back again, he slammed it with his foot again and busted through.

“Ouch,” he muttered while rubbing his leg. Ivo turned and smiled, “Well, door’s open.”

Rolling her eyes, she couldn’t help but smile for him. “That it is.” Walking over, Vesela kissed Ivo and went into the bathroom.

It was empty. Well, empty besides for Peanut trotting up to her and meowing.

“I thought he was here?” Ivo asked as he came in behind her.

Vesela looked around in confusion. “I could’ve sworn-” She stopped when her gaze caught on a shape through the glass of the shower. “Joseph?” She murmured as she walked over and opened the shower, Peanut rushing in as she did.

She froze in the doorway. “What the fuck…” Vesela whispered as she felt Ivo come up behind her.

Joseph looked up at both of them from where he sat on the floor, switchblade beside him. His arms were laced with cut after cut, some already clotting while others dripped. The tile was covered with splatter after splatter of blood.

His eyes were empty as he stared, roving his glance from parent to parent. “I don’t think I cut deep enough. It doesn’t seem to be working. Maybe that’s why it didn’t hurt like I thought it would.”

Neither her nor Ivo moved. She was kind of glad that he was as struck and confused as she was. _What the hell do parents do at a time like this?_

She listened as she heard Ivo’s phone ringing from their room. He didn’t even budge. Breathing in and letting the breath out slowly, Vesela walked over to Joseph, lowering herself onto the floor beside him. She could wash the blood out of her pants later. Out of Peanut too, who now had it on her fur and paws. But those were definitely the last things on her mind right now.

Wrapping her arms around him, Vesela pulled her shattered child into her and rested her head on his. “I’m extremely thankful it didn’t work.”

Joseph merely ran a finger up and down the cuts in his arm as Ivo walked over. He sat himself down on Joseph’s other side after closing the blade and moving it away. Kissing Joseph’s cheek, Ivo murmured “I’m thankful too.”

“Why?” Joseph whispered. “Why are you guys so thankful? You don’t even want me.”

Vesela’s breath caught in her throat. She forgot that her and Ivo’s nasty words carry easily in this house. That Joseph had probably heard every single thing they have ever yelled at each other. He probably didn’t miss a single beat.

“Don’t say stupid things like that,” Ivo started. “Of course we want you and are thankful.” He hugged and kissed Joseph again. “I love you, Joseph. We love you.”

“I don’t even think you know what those words mean.”

Ivo flinched. It was like he had been struck with an actual heavy blow. His eyes filled with an emotion Vesela didn’t even think Joseph could inflict upon his father.

Hurt.

Joseph continued to stare down at what he had inflicted upon himself. It was like he didn’t care anymore as he began to speak some more. “You don’t love me, tatko. You just do all this because you have to. Because you made a child and now you’re stuck with me. You never wanted me and that’s not ever going to change. It’d be better if you just stopped acting like you care.”

_She_ was hurt by the words and they weren’t even directed at her. Vesela looked at her husband’s face and was shocked by what she found there.

Ivo’s eyes were brimming with tears. Tears and filled with shock and pain. Joseph had actually made his father cry; he had stuck his knife deep and kept turning.

Just like his father. The apple never truly fell far from the tree.

Watching as Ivo stood abruptly and walked out, Vesela hugged Joseph close. Whispering, she asked “Can I patch you up?”

  

* * *

 

Ivo stood in front of the mirror on his dresser, staring at the monster reflected back. His phone continued to buzz but it wasn’t his problem right now. The entire mob could eat shit, for all he cared. There was only one subject on his mind at the moment.

That it wasn’t a lie is what he kept telling himself. He genuinely loved Joseph. He really truly did. But if it was true, why did everyone always question it? Why? Nobody ever wondered if Yulian loved his kids. They just automatically knew that he did. They just magically knew that he adored them and would do absolutely anything for them. Everyone knew that he loved them. Why didn’t anyone get the same message from Ivo?

What was the difference? What was wrong with him that no one ever believed him and always questioned it? For fuck’s sake, he had spent the night torturing a bitch for his child. And normally, Ivo would never harm a woman but she had forced his hand. She was part of the reason his child was a wreck.

He studied his face intently, trying to find what it was that everyone else saw. What his son saw and had caused him to come to the conclusion that there was no love existing inside of him. That it was all a lie.

But all he saw was his own face reflecting back.

Blowing out a frustrated snarl, Ivo slammed his fist into the mirror, shattering it and the monster staring back. He slid down to the floor and curled in on himself as he sat, holding his fucked up fist in his lap.

“Because of you,” he whispered into the constricting horror of silence. “Because of you, your child tried to kill himself.” A broken laugh slipped out, “Aren’t you proud, you bastard?”

He startled when the doorbell rang. As far as he knew, they weren’t expecting anyone. It rang again as he slowly dragged himself up, ignoring both his unrelenting phone and the pain in his hand. Unexpected visits were never any good.

Especially at a time like this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband


	51. Chapter 50

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> More than 100,000 words... friends we have reached a milestone I think. Okay, technically, I already knew this because my word doc is actually up to 126,400 and 300 pages but now we get to share the joy together. The story is going to span ages 7 thru 14/15ish, so we still have quite awhile to go. I hope all of you will stay for the entire long ass journey :D I kind of want the last chapter to be posted on the date this was published. "Year long journey" and all that fancy stuff but that would mean I have to write and update a lot faster.  
> Wish me luck, haha
> 
> Anyways, no warnings or anything. Simply enjoy  
> Oh there'll be an update Tuesday. See y'all then
> 
> Oh, oh and someone asked me to write the torture scene and add it to the Snapshots short stories. I was just wondering if anyone else would like to see it? If so then I'll probs get it done sooner
> 
>  
> 
> _And as the days keep passing, my little boy just disappears more and more. Smiles are harder to come by and laughs are just foreign. ___

Savelio rang the doorbell once more. “Maybe he isn’t home?”

“His wife would probably be, even if he isn’t,” Raul replied. “We can always talk to the gang unit to see what place is the mob’s home base. If he isn’t home, he’s most likely there.”

They both jumped as the door was suddenly yanked open by Ivo. “The fuck do you want?”

_Someone’s in a pissy mood today._

His partner flashed her badge, “Detective Savelio and Vidal, who you already know. Official business. We have some questions for you.”

Ivo’s face flashed with anger as he turned to Raul. “This kind of shit never comes to my home. Don’t you dare start bringing it now.”

“I’m here in the capacity as a detective for the Hoboken Police Department, Lord Kavinsky. We’ve got questions that need answering.”

Utter hatred filled Ivo’s eyes as he stepped to the side. With a voice of ice, he said “Come in, detectives.”

Ushering to Savelio for her to go first, Raul walked in behind her, shutting the door after himself. Ivo had already walked over to the couches and sat himself down, waiting for the detectives to join him. Once they had sat down, he gestured out his hands – Raul noticed that his right had blood on it. He wished Ivo would turn over his hand so he could see it properly. “So? What is the cause for the invasion of the sanctity of my home?”

Savelio looked surprised. “The sanctity? You’re a mobster. What the hell kind of sanctity could you possibly have here? Are you going to say ‘I don’t bring my work home’? I’ll call B.S. if you do.”

Raul wanted to cringe a little as she spoke; she had no idea who she was talking to. The man could be nasty and volatile. And insulting him was always the worst possible thing, he had found. He knew from personal experience how ugly Ivo could make things.

Annoyance had joined the hatred long before Savelio had even finished talking. “I like to try and retain respect for officers of the law… Savelio was it?” She nodded as he continued. “I was taught that they deserve respect because they’re like our foils. That they’re often intelligent and cunning and should never be underestimated. But calling me a liar is a quick way to lose that respect of which people in your position have earned.” Ivo leaned back, placing a foot upon his knee, and crossing his arms. “My wife and child live in this home. Besides for papers and a couple things stored in duffels, business is never conducted here. It never has and never will.”

“A mobster with some morals? Interesting,” his partner murmured as she also leaned back, contemplating the man before her.

“My lord,” Raul began, “We’re here about a murder that occurred last night.” Pulling out a photo of Nadia Castillo, he slid it across the table to Ivo. “Do you know this woman?”

Ivo reached over with his bloodied hand and picked up the photo, his face blank but Raul had come to learn that it simply meant his eyes were calculating. The man was beyond brilliant. “Yes, she’s a doctor.” He tossed the photo back onto the coffee table, “Why? She the one who was killed?”

Savelio picked the picture up and slid him one of the doctor after she had been killed. “Tortured and then had her head bashed in.”

Picking up the second photo, Ivo didn’t bat an eye – Raul didn’t expect him to be revolted but Ivo didn’t seem surprised either. It was like he expected as much. He took the time to examine Ivo’s hand; he must have hit something hard. The knuckles were split and… _Glass? Punched a mirror, maybe?_ It looked like little shards were embedded in his skin.

Flicking the second photo at them, Ivo asked “So the doctor was tortured and killed. What does this have to do with me?”

“How do you know Dr. Castillo, Lord Kavinsky?” Raul inquired.

Rolling his eyes, Ivo replied “Let’s not play that game, Detective. Just get to your point.”

“Fine,” Savelio started. “We know that your son Joseph was a patient of hers-”

“I’m sure lots of people were her patients. She was a doctor,” Ivo interrupted.

“I’m simply establishing the fact of you knowing her, my-”

“And I already told you that I did. Get. To. Your. Point.”

“Fine,” Raul started. He was also starting to get a little annoyed. Something already had Ivo wound up and whatever it was had caused him to hit a mirror. And have an even nastier attitude than usual. _It must be something huge…_ “Where were you around two-thirty this morning?”

Blinking, Ivo contemplated him carefully. “I was sleeping, here in my home, in my bed, beside my wife and son. You can ask them both if you want.”

Raul studied the man in front of him. He knew it wasn’t worth asking either of them for the truth – they’d both lie for Ivo in a heartbeat. A thought struck him as he thought about what to do next. Just because Ivo was a fantastic liar didn’t necessarily mean Vesela was one. Maybe a little twitch would be enough for him and Savelio to question Ivo’s innocence.

“I’d like to ask Lady Vesela, actually. But I’m not going to drag Joseph into this.” The child had enough problems as it was, not to have to be subject to a police investigation.

Savelio turned and looked at him in concealed confusion. She was probably wondering why he didn’t want to speak to Joseph. If anyone might be a bad liar, it would be a child. And Ivo had already given them permission to speak to him.

Blowing out a breath, Ivo muttered “Fine.”

He made to stand when Savelio stopped him, “Just call her down, please.”

Somehow it became possible to add even more hate into Ivo’s eyes. His face became an ugly mixture of hate and anger. “Worried I’m going to tell her to lie for me, Detective?” Ivo rolled his eyes as he made himself comfortable once more. “No worries, then.”

  

* * *

 

Vesela turned her gaze to Ivo’s phone as it once again rang. She had only been in the room for a couple minutes, but his phone never stopped. They wanted him and it wasn’t doing him any good not to be answering. The advisors would hold it against him and might even use it as a point against him to remove him as head. His position wasn’t entirely stable at the moment.

She flicked her glance to the mirror once more as she walked out, first aid kit in hand. When Ivo got frustrated he usually broke or threw things. Vesela felt like shattering a mirror was a little more symbolic than just regular frustration.

Walking back to Joseph’s room, she sat across from her child on the floor. Joseph was sitting still running his finger up and down his wounds, except on the carpet instead of in the bathroom. Thankfully, she was able to convince him to let her clean him up. The biggest worry she had was him maybe contracting an infection if the cuts weren’t cleaned good.

“So,” Vesela began as she began cleaning one of his arms. “I was originally coming to tell you that me and you are going on a vacation for a little. At least a few days’ time but I think at least a week would be the best. What do you think?”

Joseph slowly turned his gaze up to her. “Vacation…” He looked back down and shrugged. “Whatever, I don’t care.”

“You don’t think it’ll be nice to get out of the house for a little? Breathe some nice fresh air?” She thought for a minute, trying to think of something that might catch Joseph’s attention. “How about we stay at like a beach house or something? I mean, it is December and freezing like crazy but it would be fun.”

He just shrugged again. “That sounds kind of nice, I guess… Just you and me?”

“Yup. I think if anyone needs it, it’s you and me.”

Biting his lip, he said a little stronger “That would be good.”

Smiling in delight, she replied “Great! After we finish here then, pack whatever you want and I’ll fix my stuff too. I don’t think I actually packed good. I’ll make some reservations somewhere. I’m sure most of the beach places are empty anyways – nobody is crazy like us to vacation on the beach in December.”

Nodding, he answered “Okay, but what about Peanut?”

“Don’t worry, your bashtá will look after her.”

His eyes filled with worry. “Are you sure?”

“Positive.”

“Vesela!” They both jumped as Ivo called. She wondered if whoever had rung the bell was downstairs and if that was the reason he hadn’t come up yet.

Kissing Joseph, she smiled “Be right back.”

Quickly, she changed her pants just in case someone was here and made her way downstairs. Surprise was the first thing that struck her when she saw who was sitting. Putting a smile on her face, she walked over to Raul and the woman who was sitting. “You always enjoy surprising, don’t you?”

Raul smiled as he stood and shook her hand. “Claudia always says that women enjoy a surprise once in a while.”

Laughing, she replied “That has some truth to it.” She turned to the woman who had also stood, “And you are?”

Sticking out her hand, the woman answered “Kehaulani Savelio, ma’am. Uh, Detective Savelio.”

Vesela shook her hand as she nodded. Walking past Ivo, she sat beside him on the couch. Her eyes caught on his right hand which was crusted with blood and glass. She’d make sure to clean it for him before she left.

Turning back to the detectives, she started “So business then? Does this, hopefully, have something to do with my father?”

Raul shook his head, “I’m sorry, no. As you know, that’s no longer our case. But I do keep my ears open for any updates.”

Vesela figured that at least counted for something. She was kind of hoping they would have found his necklace by now. Obviously, his murderer too. But she wasn’t too worried about that part – she knew Ivo had put the mob onto it. “Then?”

“My Lady,” Detective Savelio started, “Where was your husband around two-thirty this morning?”

Tilting her head, Vesela answered “Are you accusing him of something?”

“Can you answer the question, please?”

“He was home, in bed. Where was he going to be exactly?”

“Can you account for the entire night? He was there the whole time?”

She remembered when she woke to him walking in around almost three, going straight to the shower. Vesela knew for a fact that whatever they were accusing him of, he did. Didn’t mean she was going to let them have him. “The whole night, Detective. My sleep was pretty uneasy because I was making sure our son was sleeping well. He wasn’t feeling too good, so he stayed with us. So I was awake almost every twenty minutes. Whatever you think Ivo did, he couldn’t have done it in twenty minutes.”

Raul looked at her intently. She really liked him but his job was such a conflict of interest; she wished he worked something else to make all of their lives easier. “He was there every time you woke?”

“Besides for once when he was in the bathroom. I can describe what it sounds like when he pisses if you want to be sure that I’m not lying.”

It got a slow nod from Raul and a smile from Savelio. She didn’t need to look at Ivo to know that he smirked.

Nodding once more, Raul stood “Well then, that’ll be it. Thank you both.”

Savelio stood after him, “And our apologies for invading the sanctity of your home, my lord.”

Ivo raised an eyebrow as he stood with them. “Don’t be a mocking bitch, Detective. Nobody likes that.”

They all walked to the door when Vesela remembered something. “Raul?”

He turned and looked at her, “Yes?”

“Can you tell Claudia that we’re going to have to cancel the boys’ sleepover? Joseph’s not feeling well and I don’t want Emilio to catch whatever it is that he might have.”

His eyes flicked to Ivo’s hand then back to Vesela. She knew he didn’t believe her. “Of course. We can reschedule for some other time.”

She smiled at the opposite of her husband standing in front of her. Well, opposite in everything except one thing. They were both goddamn brilliant. And until Raul had some proof, he couldn’t come back to book Ivo.

Even though Vesela knew that he knew Ivo did it. But until he found that proof, everything was at a standstill.

  

* * *

 

“I thought for sure we had a lead,” Savelio muttered as they drove off. “Now we’re back to square one.”

“No, no we aren’t.”

She turned to him. “What do you mean? I don’t think he did it, Vidal. And for that matter, there is absolutely no evidence pointing to him. As he put it, a lot of people have been her patients. We can’t just go on the fact that he’s a mobster and his son was her patient.”

He looked at her as they stopped at a red light. “He did it, partner. Ivo tortured and killed Nadia Castillo. I know it. Now, we just have to find our proof.”

Her face was filled with questioning. “Why are you so sure?”

Raul turned back to the street as the light changed. “I just know it. I feel it and I’m going to trust my gut on this one. I think we need to talk to the husband again. Really grill him this time.”

“You think we’re gonna get something new?”

“I think if we maybe mention Ivo, something might pop in the man.”

Savelio looked skeptical as she looked back to the road. “Guess it’s worth a shot.”

Arriving at the Doctor’s home, Raul got out of the car with Savelio behind him. _Please God, I know we’re on the right track. Just give me something concrete to go on._

Ringing the bell, they waited until finally Dr. Castillo opened. “Detectives,” he murmured quietly. He stood to the side, “Please come in.” He shut the door behind them as they walked in.

He gestured to the couches, “Have a seat. I hope your coming with some good news?”

His partner shook her head as she sat, “I’m sorry, no. We actually just have some more questions.”

“Lovely,” Erin Castillo muttered. “Then, please, ask away.”

“First off, does the name Ivo Kavinsky mean anything to you?” Raul asked, crossing his fingers in his mind. He prayed that he was going to get ‘yes’ as an answer.

He shifted uncomfortably where he sat, “No… no I can’t say that it does. Should it?”

“Dr. Castillo, understand that we are trying to find whoever tortured and murdered your wife. The truth is important here.” Raul had no plans of giving up hope just yet.

“I don’t know the na-” he halted when the doorbell rang. “One moment, please.”

“Of course,” Savelio replied. Once the doctor had walked to the door, she whispered to Raul “Did you see the way he was twitchy? He’s got to know Kavinsky.”

Nodding, he replied “He knows him alright. Just have to get him to admit it now.”

They both look over to the doctor as he came with a box which he placed on the table. “I wasn’t expecting anything,” Dr. Castillo murmured as he ripped open the box. Once it was open, he froze – he didn’t even look like he was breathing.

“Doctor?” Savelio inquired.

Raul inched himself closer and looked down into the box. Sitting back up, he looked at his partner.

“Well, we found Nadia’s fingers.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband


	52. Chapter 51

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> I've literally got nothing to say today. How boring...
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> _“Not even superheroes can be awesome all the time, so… so I guess your level of awesomeness is pretty good.”_

Vesela sat facing Ivo on the bed as she cleaned out his knuckles with a pair of tweezers. “So…”

“So,” he muttered back.

“What are you being accused of today?”

Shrugging his shoulders, he replied “Torturing and murdering a bitch.”

She carefully pulled out another glass shard. “Uhuh…”

“The doctor.”

“Ah, okay.” She tried her best not to think about what the poor woman had gone through. There were certain parts about her husband’s personality and work that she’d rather just ignore. “Anything that’s gonna end up having them knocking on the door again?”

Ivo shifted as he thought. After a minute he said “Evidence wise, no. I’m not a messy person.”

“Oh no, because I don’t pick up clothes in random places,” she laughed.

Snorting in amusement, he murmured “In my defense, it’s usually you who throws them in odd corners.”

“Well, you would think that after so long being together, you would know how to take your clothes off faster.” She tilted his hand left and right, making sure she got out all the glass. “Okay, I think I’ve got it all.”

Taking his hand back, Ivo examined it critically. “Looks like it.” Giving it back to her so she could clean it, he continued “Now, they can get the husband to admit that he’s bought. And he will probably show them the lovely gift I had sent. But other than some accusations, there isn’t anything they can actually arrest me on.”

“Good because I don’t want to come back and it turns out your ass is in prison.”

Ivo was silent for a time, then said quietly “You’re coming back, then?”

Looking up into her beloved asshole’s face, Vesela smiled “I did say it was a vacation, Ivo. Or maybe I forgot to say it aloud. But in general, a vacation usually implies that the person taking one is returning.”

“Usually, not all the time.”

Leaning over, she kissed her husband deep, sharing every breath together. Pulling away a little, she murmured “If I came back after two beatings, I’d come back after a yelling.”

There were only a few things she loved more than Ivo blushing. He looked down at his hands and whispered “Sorry… I’m a pretty shitty husband.”

Vesela turned back to cleaning his hand, “You can be but then there are times when I adore you above anything. When you're absolutely amazing. Those are the times I stay for.” She tried to catch his eye but he wouldn't let her. “Those are the times Joseph loves you for,” she whispered.

He didn’t reply, only continued to stare down. This was one of his moments, she knew. There were days where he couldn’t stand himself and all of his thousands of cracks would show. Even when she had first met Ivo all those years ago, he was never whole. Her husband was just shard upon shard glued together, trying their best to stay attached.

“Joseph’s okay?” he whispered as she wrapped his hand.

Tying it carefully, she answered “He let me clean him up, which honestly, was more than I was expecting. But the mention of a vacation kind of helped. He’s getting his stuff ready right now. Make sure you take good care of Peanut while we’re gone. He’ll never forgive you if something happens to her.”

“The mention of a vacation or the prospect of getting away from me?”

Her hands froze their work. Slowly, Vesela lifted her head and looked into Ivo’s face. “A bit of both, I guess.”

The hurt returned to Ivo’s face as he glanced back to his hand. Taking it from her, he stood and walked to the bathroom. “Thanks,” he murmured. “Nice and clean,” and shut the door behind himself.

She looked to the door as her gaze caught on movement. “You ready?”

Joseph nodded as he looked to the closed bathroom. “Are you?” he whispered.

“Yup. Think you can drag our bags downstairs? I’ll be right there.”

“’Kay.” She watched as he walked over to her suitcase all the while keeping an eye on the bathroom. He probably didn’t want Ivo to come out while he was still in the room.

Standing up after he left, she knocked on the bathroom door. “Do I at least get a goodbye?”

  

* * *

 

Joseph sat on the tile beside his duffel and his mother’s suitcase, Peanut in his lap. He wanted to give her as much as love and affection before he left. His mother said that his father would look after her but he was a little worried that it only meant he would feed her. She needed more than just meals; she needed care and love. Hopefully, his father would at least pet her once a day. If she was lucky she’d maybe get brushed once while he was gone.

His mind went back to them sitting in his shower. Joseph knew the words might hurt or get him into trouble but what he didn’t expect was his father to really take them hard. He didn’t actually think his father cared enough to get hurt by such words.

But he did. Joseph almost wondered if he should apologize or something. But his mother never said he should, so he figured that maybe this one time baring his feelings was okay.

A week without his father actually sounded exciting. It was a chance for him to just breath; he didn’t have to worry about his mood or if he was going to get punished for something. Joseph didn’t even have to worry about if he was caught crying.

He had the chance to just be at peace.

Joseph definitely liked when his mother actually bothered to fight for him. Hopefully, she would do it more often and this wasn’t just a onetime thing. His love for her just went up a notch.

Rolling up his sleeve, he slowly rubbed his hand along his arm, feeling the lines of the cuts. Joseph wondered if it was a good thing his suicide attempt didn’t work; he had really wanted it too. It obviously hadn’t worked out but the pain of cutting was welcoming and watching the blood drip was nice. It was…

Satisfying.

Maybe when he needed it, he would just cut himself. It was calming and now that he had done it once, doing it over and over again would be easy. He would just have to make sure he cleaned them and hid them too. The last thing he needed was someone seeing them.

_Doesn’t sound too hard…_

He looked up and rolled down his sleeve as he heard someone walking down the stairs. Joseph could never tell whose footsteps were whose because sometimes, no one could walk softer than his father. Luckily, it wasn’t him.

“All set?” his mother smiled as she came over to him. He nodded as she continued, “So we’re going to go spend winter vacation in this beautiful cottage over on Oyster Bay in New York! You’re going to love it.”

“You planned that pretty quick,” he murmured. The whole vacation sounded really good; two weeks of serenity. It would be even better if he was able to drag Peanut along.

“I work miracles when I need to.” She came and sat beside him, hugging him close. “It’s a little less than a two hour drive though. Hope you don’t mind.”

Shrugging, Joseph replied “That’s fine. I’ll just read or something.”

Kissing him, she stood and grabbed her keys from the hook. “Then let’s get moving. Faster we get there, the more fun we get to enjoy.”

  

* * *

 

Ivo sat on his bed as he listened to the garage close behind Vesela and Joseph. The entire winter vacation. This was going to be an interesting next couple of weeks. The last time he was really alone was…

Never.

“Well, there’s a first for everything,” he muttered into the silence. The last time Vesela left, he had Joseph. And the time before that, he had his mother. Ivo had always had his mother before she had died. She was always there for him even after he had lost his father and then his brother.

This would be his first time being truly alone. No father, brother, mother, wife, or son. He didn’t even have Timotei. That was a sobering thought. Also, slightly depressing. Timotei’s death was still a nasty open wound for him.

He was really alone now.

Being alone meant all his nasty thoughts could easily invade his brain. Well, they were already there but usually they were suppressed by having people around him. Ivo never had to worry about the utter stillness of silence and the festering of his nightmares.

He wondered if it would be weird if he just turned up at the Vidal’s house once in a while. They were technically the only people he had. Nikol and Yulian didn’t count. No matter how badly he wanted to get away from his horrors, there was no way Ivo would subject himself to their company.

But he did like the Vidals. Yes, Emilio could be a pain but he was just a child. Children were supposed to be annoying; that was kind of just how they were. _I’m lucky Joseph isn’t really_. The girls weren’t that hard to put up with and they generally didn’t bug him anyways. Claudia was sweet and kind of reminded him of Vesela in personality. They were both strong independent women who could hold their own. And despite her not being a thin shapely toothpick like Vesela, Ivo still thought she was beautiful. Her smile was almost as winning as his wife’s.

Almost. But not quite.

Ivo didn’t understand men who had this belief that women had to be an hourglass and all that other shit to be sexy or beautiful. They obviously needed their eyes checked. Yulian was one of those men. To that piece of shit, a woman had to have a flat stomach, a nice ass, and that fine line between perfect boobs and ‘way too much’. He remembered once when Yulian had commented after Vesela had given birth that she needed to lose some weight.

_“Excuse me?”_

_Yulian shrugged from where he sat across from Ivo as he flicked another glance to where Vesela stood with Nikol in the kitchen. Nikol had invited them for dinner and Ivo had actually agreed to coming. Vesela wanted too and he didn’t have it within himself to say no. “I’m just saying that she doesn’t look as good with the extra pounds, is all. I mean, we all know that you only took her because of her body. Why else when Nikol was single at the time? No sane man would pick Vesela over her.”_

_Ivo crossed his arms as he stared at the man in front him. “I hope you know that I’m seriously considering killing you right now.”_

_Yulian made a face, “Oh please. Why else did you beat her when you found out she was pregnant? Obviously because you realized she wouldn’t look as good anymore. Fatter is not sexier.”_

_“How fucked up is your brain exactly?” Ivo could feel his temper beginning to rise. The last thing in the world he wanted to think about was when he had horribly fucked up. “I don’t care if Vesela gained a hundred pounds; that isn’t going to change the woman I love. I will tell you that I feel bad for Nikol though. I’ll make sure to warn her when she gains a pound that she might end up divorced.”_

_Standing up, he walked to the kitchen and wrapped his arm around Vesela’s waist. Kissing her close, he said “Grab Joseph. We’re going.”_

_She stared in confusion. “We just got here, Ivo.”_

_“Ya, well either we leave or I kill your brother-in-law. Pick one.”_

She had packed up pretty quick after that. Vesela always knew that his threats were never actually jokes. “God do I hate that fucking prick. I mean Nikol is a bitch but that man is something else.”

Sighing, he looked around the room. Maybe he should just invite himself to dinner at the Vidals. They thought he was rude anyways, so it wouldn’t really make much of a difference now. Surprisingly, Ivo enjoyed Raul’s company. If he wasn’t a cop, he was pretty sure he would like him even more.

He rubbed his jaw as he thought what to do. “Shave,” he laughed. “That needs to get done. Oh Jesus, they’ve been gone for ten minutes and I’m already going insane.” Thinking some more, Ivo realized he did have Venc. He loved Venc like a younger brother and Ivo was always welcome in their home.

Tapping his knee, he said “I can split my time between Venc and the Vidals. Spend as little time as possible alone and in silence and I should be good to go. Bam. Plan in place.”

He turned and looked at his phone as it rang once more. Rolling across the bed to his side, Ivo grabbed his phone and hit ignore. Man was he going to hear it when he went to work tomorrow. More than 30 missed calls.

But that was tomorrow. Today, he was going to go eat some authentic Puerto Rican food in a house filled with one too many kids.

  

* * *

 

“I got it!” Emilio shouted as he rushed to the phone. Answering the phone was always one of the things he enjoyed; even if he was just handing it off to his mother. He enjoyed talking with people.

Picking up the phone, he answered “Hello?”

The other line was quiet for a few seconds, when finally, “Emilio?”

He jolted in surprise. “Mr. Kavinsky?”

“Uh yes, actually.”

“Totally weird… I mean! Not weird! Sorry, that sounded bad.”

“Forget about it. Is your mom home?”

Emilio couldn’t help but notice how odd Mr. Kavinsky’s voice sounded. Something was bothering him even though he was trying to cover it. “She’s in the shower but abuela and Maria are here.”

“Hmm…”

“Um, is something wrong?”

“Not necessarily, no…”

Emilio waited patiently for him to continue; he wondered what was up. “So did you want to talk to one of them? Or do you want to wait for mom?” He asked when the stretch of silence continued.

“What are you having for dinner today?”

Making a noise of surprise, Emilio asked “Seriously?”

Mr. Kavinsky snorted in amusement. “Yes, seriously. I’m thinking of inviting myself to your house for dinner today.”

“…Seriously…”

“Yes. So what are you having for dinner today? Something good? Is your mother’s food good? I’ve never had it before but Vesela says it’s delicious.”

He scratched his head in confusion. _This is just weird…_ “My mom’s food is amazing but I don’t know what we’re having today. And I think abuela is cooking today but her food is good too.”

Imagining that Mr. Kavinsky was shrugging wherever it was that he was making this odd phone call from, he replied “Your grandmother’s food works. Food in general really. I’m on my own for the next two weeks so I’m securing my survival.”

“Why are you on your own?” Emilio was supposed to go to their house this weekend to have a sleepover with Joseph; that wouldn’t be possible if he wasn’t home.

“Vesela and Joseph went on vacation. Work doesn’t allow my poor soul to get a vacation. So I’m thinking that I’m going to drive you guys and Venc crazy until they come back.”

Confusion filled Emilio’s brain. _Went on vacation? So suddenly? Something definitely has to be up._ “Oh okay. Well, you’re welcome whenever you like. Technically, I’m supposed to ask my parents first but I don’t think they’ll mind.”

“Sounds good, then. What time do you people usually have dinner?”

“Around eight. Usually we eat without my dad because it depends on his work what time he finishes. Sometimes he shows up in the middle of dinner too. So he may or may not be home when you come over.”

“Is it okay that I come anyways?”

“I think so? But lemme ask Maria just in case. One sec.”

Placing the phone on the counter, Emilio walked to his sisters’ room and knocked. “Maria?”

“What’s up?” She said as she opened the door, Alondra on her hip.

“Is it okay if Mr. Kavinsky comes over for dinner?”

She made a face at him, scrunching her nose and furrowing her brows. “What?”

“Mr. Kavinsky wants to know if it’s okay if he comes for dinner. Mrs. Kavinsky and Joseph are on vacation and he wants to come here to eat today. My guess is that he either can’t cook or he doesn’t want to be alone. I’m thinking the second one ‘cause then he could just order food.”

Scratching her head in thought, she finally said “Probably… I mean, ya I guess it should be fine. Shouldn’t be a problem. If anyone might mind, it’s papa but it shouldn’t be that big of a deal.”

“So tell him yes for sure?”

She nodded as she shrugged. “Ya, sure.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband


	53. Chapter 52

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come say hey [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> So I debated a lot about whether or not I was going to include Ivo's dinner at the Vidals in this chpt and the next or if I should just put it as a short in Snapshots. But then I figured that since Joseph is brought up and thought about a couple times, I might as well. Plus you get some happy Emilio. Sorry if this was a bad choice because technically, Joseph's not even in the same city. My bad
> 
> No warnings, just enjoy
> 
> _“Then we're going to throw a huge party. It'll be so huge, it'll be in the fucking news.”_

“Whoa…” Joseph said in amazement.

“I know right? B-e-autiful. Like stunning.”

The cottage was amazing. There was just no other way to put it –  and they hadn’t even looked on the inside yet. Before them stood a white two-story home with a front deck and the beach was literally it’s huge front yard after the lawn. There were flowers planted everywhere, coloring the delightful view. Seagulls chatted as they flew by adding their voices to the music of the water.

“Well,” his mother said, “after you, Mr. Kavinsky.”

Giving her a small smile, Joseph walked to the house and up the stairs of the deck. Reaching the door, he laughed “One problem, mayko. I don’t have a key. Doesn’t really make a difference if I went first or not.”

Smiling, she replied “An oversight on my part. My apologies, good sir.”

He rolled his eyes as he walked in after she opened the door. “This place is really pretty.” It was obviously smaller than his home but it wasn’t any less spectacular. There was a small kitchen attached to the dining room and then the living room next to it. It felt homey and comforting.

“So there are two bedrooms but we can just share one if you want,” his mother noted as she walked to and up the staircase, dragging her suitcase after herself.

Following with his duffel on his shoulder, he answered “I think sharing is good.”

“Great! I was worried I was gonna be all lonely.” She peered into each room, “One has a queen bed and the other has two twins. Verdict?”

Joseph thought for a minute, looking into each room like she had. “Queen, I think.” He would be far more comforted if she was literally right next to him instead of in a separate bed.

“Fantastic choice, child,” she laughed as she threw herself on the bed after tossing her bag to the side. Pulling out her phone, she murmured “Almost forgot to let your bashtá know we made it.”

Joseph put his bag on the floor and climbed up, lying beside her. His father was the last thing on mind; he had the opportunity to not even have to think about the man for the next two weeks. It was a comforting realization.

He stared up at the ceiling as he listened to half a conversation.

“I’d tell you this place is amazing but I feel like that would be rubbing it in your face.”

“No, I’m too nice for that.”

“Ass, that is not questionable.”

“Seriously? Well then tell them hello I guess. Although, you could just go to Nikol’s, you know.”

“Yes, my brain is working just fine. She wouldn’t turn you away; she’d put up with you if I asked her too.”

“For God’s sake, Ivo, she’s really not that bad… You know what? Whatever. Do what you want; I don’t feel like getting a headache right now.”

Sighing, his mother murmured “Love you too, bastard.”

Closing the phone, she turned her head to look at Joseph. “Seems your bashtá is going to Emilio’s house for dinner.”

He turned to her and scrunched his nose in disbelief. “Seriously?”

Rolling her eyes with a smile playing on her face, she replied “Seriously. Shocking I know. He invited himself too. Just up and called and told them he wants to come for dinner.” Laughing, she murmured “Something is wrong with that man sometimes.”

“Just sometimes?” Joseph whispered as he curled into his mother.

Hugging him closer, she answered “He loves you, Joseph. I know that it’s hard to see sometimes but he really does. I promise.”

“This is one of your promises that I can’t really trust in,” he replied, shutting his eyes. A nap would actually be relaxing. He was exhausted. But then, nowadays, he never had energy for anything anymore.

She clutched him tighter, pressing kisses into his hair. “I swear, baby. He’s just really bad at showing it.”

Feeling the lull of sleep coming upon him, he said tiredly “Even if he were to beat me to a pulp, you’d tell me that he loves me…”

  

* * *

 

_Would I? But Ivo would never hurt Joseph like that… He just wouldn’t…_

_Or would he?_

Vesela tried to shake these thoughts out of her head as she watched Joseph sleep. Ivo loved Joseph. He had to. If he didn’t, why would the words Joseph told him earlier today hurt so much? For that matter, what point would their lives have to come to where Ivo would actually truly beat Joseph? He hit, yes, but he had never really beaten.

Plus, she’d like to believe that if, God forbid, they ever came to that moment, she would stand in Ivo’s way. Vesela wouldn’t just stand there and watch her child be beaten – she knew what it felt like not to have her son subject to it.

_I know what it feels like… And yet I still love him and believe it every time he says he loves me…_

_“Even if he were to beat me to a pulp, you’d tell me that he loves me.”_

Maybe she really would. She had been beaten twice and yet she still believed it with all her heart that he loved and adored her. Isn’t that what he said every day? That she was the best thing that ever happened to him and that he loved her more than anyone in the world?

Letting out a deep breath, she focused her thoughts back on her baby. These two weeks were meant for him to be able feel like his life wasn’t a nasty horrible weight that had to be suffered through. If talking about his father made him uncomfortable then she wouldn’t bring Ivo up around him. She’d even make sure he wasn’t nearby when she spoke with her husband on the phone.

If Ivo really was the problem, then Vesela would make sure Joseph didn’t have to think about him at all.

  

* * *

 

Opening his eyes, Joseph was surprised to find his mother wasn’t next to him anymore. It was dark and the light had been shut off but she had remembered to plug his nightlight in. That was a relief; he was pretty sure that if he had woken in darkness, a panic attack would’ve been nearby. It had been almost a year since his fear of the dark had reemerged but it still ate at him.

The dark was filled with more than just terrors and horrors. It was where the truth hid and came out in full strength. There was no escaping it when it was just the mind and the dark.

Clearing his head, he got out of bed and went down the hall in search of the bathroom to wash up.

Something smelled delicious, Joseph realized as he eventually made it down the stairs after cleaning up. “Mayko?” he called.

“Kitchen!”

Coming to the kitchen/dining room, the smell of food was even more tantalizing. “It smells fantastic,” he murmured.

“No duh. I cooked it. Prepare to go into an amazing food coma.”

“I just woke up. I’m not ready to sleep just yet. Can I get the food without the coma?”

Smiling down at him, his mother replied “I suppose… Kinda ruins the effect though.” She handed him a plate with a very small amount of food in it. “Conquer that and we’ll go from there?”

Joseph looked down at the plate he held. It wasn’t too much; probably as much as his bowl of cereal. “I think I can do it.”

“Huzzah! Meet me at the table, then. Lemme just put my plate.”

Walking to the table and putting his plate down, Joseph walked back over to the fridge to get drinks. “What do you want to drink?”

“Umm,” she looked into the fridge, “Lemonade is good.”

“’Kay.”

Taking out the lemonade, Joseph realized they had a dilemma on their hands. “Do you think we should have brought my stool?”

His mother broke into laughter. “That is a thought we should have had before. I’ll grab the cups and fill up the dishwasher with plates and stuff. No worries, sweetheart, I got you covered.”

Catching a touch of her good mood, he smiled up at her. “Gee, thanks. Always good to know.”

His eye caught on the calendar beside the fridge, tacked onto the wall. Despite how much he kept telling himself not to think of his father or home, that was all that filled his mind upon seeing the calendar. “I guess tatko is alone for Christmas…”

Pausing what she was doing, his mother looked at the calendar then him. “He’s gonna have to deal. Tétka Nikol’s house is always open for him. If he wants to be too stubborn then that’s his problem.”

Surprise took him; Joseph didn’t expect his mother to be so straight up about it. He thought she would be sad or something. But it didn’t even look like it bothered her. “Uh… ya, I guess so.”

“Don’t worry about him, Joseph. All you need to think or worry about for the next couple weeks is enjoying yourself. Just focus on you. Let me worry about all the other garbage.”

He was pretty sure she just called his father garbage.

  

* * *

 

Ivo looked up to the top of the huge apartment building in front of him. It was in a pretty good part of Hoboken; he knew that living on a detective’s salary wasn’t easy. He wondered if Raul ever had issues making ends meet. To be honest, if he ever did, Ivo wouldn’t mind helping him out.

Laughing, he said aloud “He won’t take my illegal money, though.”

Walking to the front door, he buzzed the bell for the third floor. He let out a breath to watch it in the air. “Jesus, it’s cold.” He buzzed again after a minute when he finally heard the lock opening.

The door opened by a smiling Alicia, “Sorry, lots of stairs.” She stood to the side to let him in.

Walking in with his cheesecake, he said “No elevator?”

“Nope. Hope you’re in shape.” Laughing, she added “It definitely keeps us going. Even abuela.”

“I’ll be fine. Trust me, I’ve been through worse. I can handle some stairs,” he said as he began their ascend.

“Ah, that’s good because I definitely can’t carry you up. I can try dragging you or we can take five minute breaks if you want. I don’t want you to get tired before you even spend a full evening with us. Then you’re allowed to get tired.”

“Your father may be more of a quiet man but I’m pretty sure all of you got your attitudes from him. There’s a snarky man under that cool demeanor.”

Alicia laughed as she followed him up. Reaching the door, she went in front of him and opened up the door. Gesturing inside, she said “Please come in.”

Thinking that he might as well amuse the quietest of the Vidal children, Ivo bowed slightly and said “Why thank you, my lady.”

She smiled full of teeth and delight and came in after him. Shutting and locking the door behind them, she took the cake from his hand. “Thank you but you didn’t have to bring anything.”

“Trust me, I did. If I didn’t, my wife would bite my head off.”

He walked over and sat on one of the couches, taking in the apartment around him. It was surprisingly quiet. “Where’s everyone?”

“Mama is probably changing Alondra and abuela is taking a nap. I’m pretty sure Maria finished her shower by now though because I don’t hear the water. Linda takes forever in the bathroom and Emilio is-”

“Right here!” Emilio shouted in delight as he came walking from the hallway. Ivo watched as the annoying brat trotted over and sat beside him. Smiling, he said “Hi, Mr. Kavinsky!”

“Child, why the fuck are you always so happy?”

Emilio laughed, “Because it’s good for the soul. Duh. You should try it more often.”

Ivo raised an eyebrow and watched as Emilio’s face turned scarlet. “Not happy enough for you, huh?”

“You know what I meant. Do I need to apologize?” He asked nervously.

“Nah, you’re good. Need to work on your manners, maybe.”

“I think you might have rub-” Emilio slapped his hands on his mouth and started giggling. “I mean, you have fantastic manners.”

Shaking his head, he muttered “Jesus, help me.” His eyes caught on Claudia coming out of the hallway with the baby in her arms. Standing, he shook her hand as he said “Thank you for having me.”

“Our pleasure, Ivo,” she smiled her bright smile as she sat down on the other couch.

Emilio started to giggle again. Ivo was going to ignore but he just had to know. Turning to the brat, he asked “What?”

Grinning, he said “It’s like you transformed completely. Those were some fine manners, Lord Kavinsky.” He squawked when Ivo shoved him off the couch. Tilting his head to the side and making his hair get into his eyes, he laughed “I think you enjoy pushing me too much.”

Rolling his eyes, Ivo replied “Brat, I’ve been here for like five minutes and I’m already rethinking my decision. Don’t drive me insane.”

Claudia laughed as she placed Alondra on the floor. She kept her tone light but Ivo could tell there was some serious concern within it. “So, Vesela and Joseph took a vacation? I have to say, it’s quite sudden. Everything is okay I hope?”

Ivo smiled at her and absentmindedly rubbed his injured hand. He stopped when he realized it drew Claudia’s attention to it. “Ya, it’s all good. They just decided that maybe a little fresh air was in order. Unlucky for me, it’s not that easy to go with them right now.”

Her face was examining as it flicked to his hand and back up to his face. She may not be a detective but Ivo knew that she was just as intelligent as her husband. Smiling back, she nodded “Well, that’s definitely a shame.”

“Mhmm. The beach in the middle of December is something I’ve never wanted to miss out on,” he said, his voiced laced with a bit of sarcasm. _Why pick the beach in December?_

Emilio furrowed his brow in curiosity and confusion. “They went to the beach? It’s really cold in the city; I bet it’s freezing on the beach.”

Shrugging, he replied “Probably but that’s what they wanted. Vesela rented a cottage for the next couple weeks. Beachfront and everything.”

“She rented a whole cottage,” Alicia said in amazement. “With a beach… I bet that was really expensive.”

“He’s rich; probably didn’t even make a dent in his pocket,” Emilio answered her.

“Guys,” Claudia said in warning. “We don’t go around talking about people’s money.”

He shrugged as he looked to Emilio. “It didn’t.”

“Wow… it must be nice having all that money. Wait,” Emilio paused for a moment as a thought struck him. “If they’re gonna be gone for the next two weeks…” Emilio looked at Ivo with concern, “Who are you going to spend Christmas with?”

Ivo froze. His brain hadn’t even registered the fact that Vesela and Joseph wouldn’t be home for Christmas. He blinked as he thought about the fact that he was going to be alone for the biggest holiday of the year.

Just him and his mind.

_Did Vesela not notice when she decided they were going? Or…_

What if she did it on purpose?

She wouldn’t be so cruel to make him suffer Christmas alone. Especially on their first Christmas without Timotei. She just wouldn’t.

Or would she?

He ruffled a hand through his hair as he realized he was taking too long to answer. But he couldn’t make himself answer. Ivo knew his despair would come out in his voice.

Emilio stood and sat beside Ivo once more. Quietly, he murmured “You can spend Christmas with us, if you’d like. People shouldn’t be alone on it.”

Looking to the child sitting beside him, Ivo realized that he really liked this kid. He had a damn good heart in him. He was always so concerned if everyone around him was okay.

Collecting himself and leaning back into the couch, Ivo replied “Thank you, but I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about me.”

Cocking his head, Emilio said “If you’re sure…”

“Really, I’m good.”

Claudia spoke up from where she sat. “Well, if you do change your mind, our house is always open to you, Ivo.”

Smiling to her, he said “Thank you. I’ll remember that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband


	54. Chapter 53

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> Maybe this is silly of me, but I seriously feel like I'm getting the silent treatment or something... It hurts dudes  
> No chpt on Tuesday this week, just Thursday
> 
> Two new tags, make sure you check them. Also, I doubt this needs to be said but just in case, any views expressed by characters are very much their own beliefs and understandings of things.  
> Thanks to my beta and all my amazeball readers. I love you guys.
> 
> Enjoy
> 
> _“Oh shit,” she whispered in excitement. “Perfect picture!” ___

“Alright, I guess we’ll just regroup tomorrow?” Savelio said with hope. She was as exhausted as he was right now.

Despite finding Nadia’s fingers and finding out that husband Dr. Castillo was bought by the Bulgarian mob, Raul and his partner were stuck. They had no leads that took them anywhere. Everything was just a dead end.

Ivo was good.

But then, Raul figured, he had to be. Ivo, according to their file, had been working in the mob since he gained citizenship. Which was actually a lie – he had to have been working before then. Ever since he met Vesela probably.

Which meant he knew all the tricks in the book. Hell, he probably wrote his own.

Raul shut down his computer and looked to his partner across from him. “Sounds good. We’re not going to get anything new right now. Maybe some sleep and fresh eyes will help us see something.”

Savelio turned off her own computer and said “Honestly Vidal, I don’t think so… Kavinsky, if he did do it, has us good. Not a single shred of evidence or a trail.”

“He did it. We just can’t prove it yet.”

“Maybe never…” she muttered.

He didn’t want to give in to helplessness yet. “Doing anything tonight?” he asked as he stood and put on his jacket.

“Nope. Just me and a beer.”

“Well, then you’re invited to dinner. You can have that beer with me. Maybe even with my mother.”

Laughing, his partner stared at him in disbelief. “She drinks? I thought she gets all healthy on your ass?”

“Exactly. _My ass._ She is privileged whatever she likes, as she puts it.”

Smiling as she stood and slipped on her own jacket, Savelio replied “Well, I have to admit that I’d love to share a beer with your mother.”

“Just her? Not good enough for you, huh?”

“Nope,” she laughed as they walked out of the station.

Parking in front of his building, Raul was surprised by a car that was parked there as well. Savelio whistled as she examined it. “Beautiful Maserati, if you ask me. Totally jealous.”

Raul flicked a glance to it as he walked to the door, “Me too. I wish I had that kind of money. Wonder whose it is, though. Never seen it before.” Getting the door open, he gestured for Savelio to go first. “After you, partner.”

“I hate your stupid stairs. I hope you know that,” she uttered as she began going up.

Laughing, he answered “Trust me, we all hate them.”

Upon reaching the door, Raul pulled out his keys and unlocked it, letting Savelio go first. He was surprised when he practically crashed into her when she froze. Pushing her in and shutting the door behind them, he said “What the hell? Don’t just stop.”

But after looking up, he completely understood why she did.

“Welcome home, Raul,” Ivo smiled.

  

* * *

 

He watched as Raul blinked at him in surprise and confusion. His partner was staring like she had seen a ghost or something. Emilio was sitting beside Ivo but when he caught sight of his father, he jumped up and ran to him. “Hi, papa!”

Raul blinked out of his stupor and smiled to Emilio, hugging him close, “Hola, mijo. How are you today?”

“Good and yourself?” Emilio replied. Jumping up and down in excitement, he said “Mr. Kavinsky is having dinner with us today! Cool, isn’t it? It would be cooler if Joseph was here but…” he shrugged “Oh well, I guess.”

Ivo smirked as Raul and his partner were still trying to get over their shock. Savelio spoke up first as she walked and sat on the other couch. “The hell are you doing here?”

He raised his eyebrow and smirked in full delight at bothering them. This was going to be fun. “Well, what are you doing here?”

“I was invited to dinner at my partner and friend’s house. Your turn,” she crossed her arms. Raul just shook his head as he walked, Ivo guessed, to his bedroom. Emilio skipped back over and sat, once again, next to Ivo.

“I invited myself to _my friend’s_ house. Heard his mother is a fantastic cook. Although no one can give me a straight answer if her or his wife is the better cook. They aim not to offend, apparently.”

Savelio stared at him like he was crazy. Sometimes he actually wondered if he was. “ _Your friend?!_ You’ve got to be joking.”

Emilio spoke up, confusion in his voice. “Why, Ms. Savelio? Papa likes Mr. Kavinsky.” He giggled then, “Well, a little bit now.”

Ivo couldn’t help but laugh with Emilio. “A little, huh? I’ll take what I can get, I guess.”

Blushing, Emilio replied “He didn’t like you at all before. But, don’t worry, he kind of does now.”

“Jesus, you have no clue how much I was worried,” Ivo coughed out through his laughs.

Raul came walking back to the living room and sat beside his partner. Emilio went and shoved himself into his father’s lap. Ivo wondered why Joseph never did that to him. He wouldn’t mind; it’s not like his kid was huge. He tilted his head as he thought that it would actually be kind of nice if Joseph did that once in a while. Comforting, maybe.

It would at least mean his son liked him. After this morning, Ivo felt that Joseph might not even love him. That was an incredibly bothersome thought.

“So,” Raul started as he hugged Emilio close, resting his head atop his son’s. “Vesela and Joseph went on vacation?”

Nodding, he answered “Rented a cottage and all that lovely shit. So I decided that I’m going to bug both you and Venc ‘til they come back.”

“Emilio, can you help Alicia fix the table, please?” Claudia called from the kitchen.

Jumping from his father’s lap, Emilio smiled as he skipped to her. “Of course!”

_Why isn’t my kid ever that happy? Even before Timotei died… before his kidnapping, even, he was never that happy. Why?_

Ivo was worried that maybe Vesela was right. Maybe he really was the reason his child was a horrible wreck.

Waiting, he assumed, until Emilio was out of earshot, Raul said “Something happen between you and Vesela?”

“Excuse me?” He stared at the man before him in disbelief. _Seriously?_

He could tell Raul was choosing his next words carefully. “Ivo, I’m asking as probably the only person to you who actually cares. As your only friend. Well…” Raul thought for a minute. “Actually, yes, as your friend.”

Clenching his jaw in annoyance, Ivo muttered “The only person?”

“Yes. We both know that you don’t actually have any friends besides for Venc. I’m asking because, despite how much I continue to tell myself not to – especially after what we found this morning – I care.”

Savelio scrunched her face in disgust as she turned slightly green. _This morning…_ Ivo smirked. The doctor. He figured it was something that can turn the stomach however early they had found her. He wasn’t going to feel guilty though. She got what she deserved. Turning his thoughts back to the caring fool in front of him, he said “Everything is fine.”

“The boys were going to have a sleepover, then she said Joseph was sick. But not sick enough where he can’t go spend the vacation at a freezing beach. This morning, something was bothering you enough that you punched a mirror, probably only a couple minutes before we came knocking. Don’t tell me everything is fine when your wife took your son and they have no plans of spending the holiday with you.”

Ivo worked his lip through his teeth. Goddamn detective. “I bothered myself and took my frustration out on my reflection. Tadaa detective, case closed. Fine work you did. Now shut the fuck up and leave it be.”

Raul leaned back into the couch and stared at Ivo. Shrugging his shoulders and sighing, he replied “Fine. My fault for caring. Just know that if you need somewhere to be for Christmas, my house is welcome to you. I know you don’t enjoy being with Nikol and Yulian.”

Letting loose the tension in his shoulders, Ivo said “Your son already gave me the invite. Thank you but I’ll be fine. I don’t need anyone. Just me and a bottle of whiskey. Or maybe bourbon. Or even vodka. Hell, maybe all three. I’ll decide then.”

 He raised an eyebrow at Ivo. “You don’t like drinking.”

“Ya well, it’ll be better than sitting in a huge empty house with just my thoughts. Alcohol will make sure they’re quiet.”

“Or you can just come over.”

“Nope, I’m good.”

“Food is ready!” Claudia called. “Come on and sit.”

  

* * *

 

Joseph hummed as he sat in the grass, ladybug crawling on his finger. His forest was the only place where he didn’t feel like the world was trying to suffocate him.

It was his haven.

He smiled as dream Peanut came trotting over and curled up beside him. Rubbing her head, he said “I wonder if I can just stay here… It’s way nicer than the real world. Reality is such a pain lately.”

Watching as the ladybug flew off, Joseph lay down and put his hands behind his head. “If I die, do you think I end up here?” he asked dream Peanut. “I mean, I’m different so… maybe? Where do people with dream powers go when they pass away?”

He wished he had asked more about his prádyádo before his grandfather had died. But then, he didn’t know his grandfather was going to die.

Sighing, he wondered if he should take anything today. He had gone to bed before his mother but she could have joined him by now. Explaining where something came from out of nowhere in the bed would be a little difficult. “Guess not…”

Joseph turned his head and watched dream Peanut sleep when an idea came to him. “Can I take out animals?”

Dream Peanut was already here and anything that was in the forest was usually fair game. But Joseph had only ever taken out objects, never actual living things. And none of his things were ever really big – the biggest was a toything he had done for Peanut. He made sure it looked like something he could make just in case his parents had questions. But it hadn’t been the most complicated thing he had ever dreamed up. Joseph imagined that complicatedness was a huge factor in how easy he could take something. Complicated and huge? That had to be difficult.

“A thought for another day,” he sighed as he felt the fuzziness of awakening. He could never sleep for more than a couple hours nowadays. All Joseph wanted was a full night of sleep. Even if it was just one night.

Blinking his eyes open, he noticed his mother hadn’t joined him yet. Joseph stretched and then sat up, looking at the clock: 1:30 a.m. Not bad actually. He had gone to bed at ten and three and a half hours was pretty darn good.

Stretching once more, he grabbed Mr. Cat and Lady Calico and went in search of his mother. He walked quietly down the stairs and found her sitting on the couch, reading a book. She smiled up at him when she caught sight.

“Morning, baby. Although I find it to be a little too morning, if you get what I mean.”

Reaching her, he curled up next to her. “I can’t sleep.”

She pulled him into her lap and hugged him tight. “Me neither. I don’t sleep well when I’m not home.”

“What are you reading?”

“A historical romance.”

Joseph rolled his eyes, even though he knew she couldn’t see. “Cheesy, mayko.”

She laughed as she kissed his hair. “I like romance novels, okay? Nothing wrong with that. Emilio’s mom told me to read it but it isn’t really my type. I’ve already started though, so I have to finish.”

“How come it’s not your sort?”

He noticed how she paused for a bit as if she was thinking about her next words carefully. “Well, usually the ones I read have to do with some man and woman falling for each other.”

“It’s a romance novel. That kind of is part of it,” Joseph interrupted.

“True but this one is a little different. It… it has to do with,” she paused again.

He had to admit he was getting curious. “What, mayko?”

“Instead of a man and woman, it’s two men…”

Joseph’s heart stopped. _Two men? Maybe…_

Then maybe the feelings Joseph had come to be aware of about himself were actually okay. If someone had written a romance book about men falling for each other, that meant it had to be something normal. It couldn’t just be him.

Starting carefully, he said “I’ve never heard of romance books with men before.”

“It’s definitely not common and for that matter not something I like. But like I said, I already started and I don’t like leaving things unfinished.” Her tone seemed dismissive now.

Biting his lip, Joseph asked “Why don’t you like it?”

His mother was silent for a time. After a while she said “Because it’s wrong.”

He scrunched his eyebrows in worry. _Wrong? But how can it be wrong if it’s normal enough that someone wrote about it?_ “Wrong, mayko?”

Joseph could feel how his mother’s breathing stopped. She shifted him onto the couch beside her and looked searchingly into his face. He looked back nervously; he didn’t want his feelings to be found out if it was wrong. His parents didn’t like him as it was not to have another point against him.

Her voice was firm when she spoke. “Yes, wrong, Joseph. God created man and woman for a reason. Homosexuality – which is when people like the same gender – is a very very huge sin. It is not okay. For that matter, it’s gross. Two men or two women loving each other is disgusting and not something I should have to see when I’m out. Not something you should have to see either.”

Trying to bite his nerves down, Joseph couldn’t help but disagree. He really wished he had seen two men kissing; it would mean that he wasn’t alone in finding boys cuter than girls. Looking at girls wasn’t something he enjoyed at all. Staring at the boys and finding a cute one was way better.

And now his mother was telling him how wrong and disgusting it was. How much of a sin it was.

Would she get suspicious if he asked some questions? He could just attribute it to curiosity. Questions didn’t mean anything. “So,” he started ever so quietly and carefully while looking down at his hands and his heart trying to rupture out of his chest. “It’s not okay for boys to like boys?”

He was surprised when his chin was forced up. She looked intently into his face, eyes searching once more. “Joseph, are you trying to tell me something?”

Fear welled up inside of him. He had just found out his mother hated people who liked the same gender; she didn’t just hate but she was disgusted too. There was no way in a million thousand years he was going to tell her that he found boys attractive.

“No! Just curious is all! I swear.” Joseph groped his mind for anyway to make it seem like he was asking out of academic curiosity. “I-It’s just I’m surprised because… because you say it isn’t okay but then someone wrote a book about it.”

His mother leaned back and contemplated him. “Well, some people don’t mind it,” she said after a while. “They think it’s okay and not a sin. But it is far from okay and a major sin. I will say I’m curious what Claudia thinks about it because obviously she enjoyed the book.”

“So, it’s wrong for boys to like boys? Or to find them attractive? Period, that’s it? How come some people are okay with it and some aren’t?” Despite how worried he was about getting caught, Joseph knew this would be his only opening into this subject, ever. He needed answers.

“It depends on a person’s beliefs, I suppose. But for us, for this family,” she gestured between the pair of them. “It is absolutely wrong. For me, for your bashtá, for you, it is wrong. A sin and a disgust. And that’s all were saying about this anymore. Don’t bring it up anymore, understand?”

Joseph was ready for the conversation to end right about now. He wanted to get upstairs and cry before they came down in front of her. “I won’t,” he whispered.

“Especially don’t mention it around tatko. Got it?”

He was pretty sure he gnawed a hole in his lip by now. His father was probably even more disgusted by people who liked the same gender than his mother was. “I won’t,” he repeated. “But just one last question, mayko?” He needed to know this one.

She grinded her jaw in show of her annoyance. “What?”

“What are people who like the same gender called?”

“Gays, Joseph. And women are lesbians. And if I ever hear you even saying those words, I will put the entire bar of soap in your mouth.”

Joseph shook his head quickly. “I won’t say them. Promise.”

Staring at him, she let out a breath and hugged him close. “Go on and see if you can get more sleep, sweetheart. Put those nasty thoughts out of your head. You don’t need to think about those gross people.”

He made sure to stifle his tears until he was upstairs, out of her sight and hearing. When he was alone on the bed, he buried his face into the mattress of the bed and cried his entire existence out. How was he not supposed to think about those gross people when he was one of them?

Hiccupping into the covers, he cried “Why God, did you make me so wrong? Why make me at all if I’m such a mistake?”

“Why did you have to make me gay?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband


	55. Chapter 54

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> I've never read a fanfic that has a hijabi girl in it, so I took it upon myself to add one. I believe in representation of lots of different people and family types. That's what I've been trying to do as I write. I've no clue if I'm doing a good job but I'm trying. Technically speaking, this lady can kind of be a self insert? Except the fact that I was born in '96 and I should actually be a year younger than Joseph haha. But I am a Tolkien nerd and my family is from Palestine. Hooray for facts about the author (that maybe no one actually wanted)!
> 
> Anyways, uh... actually I don't think I've got anything else to say. Sometimes I think I talk to much anyways. Like should I limit the note's blabber? I enjoy it since it's my way of talking to you guys but uh ya
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> _“That sentence was so cliché… or cheesy. Whatever the right word is.”_

Vesela watched through the window as she sat on the couch under it. Joseph was outside, lying in the grass and reading a book. He _looked_ okay but Vesela just knew that her child really wasn’t. She had believed that a vacation and being away from his father would actually help him. He’d be able to just breathe without anyone telling him how or why.

But Joseph seemed worse.

It was confusing because the first day, he was good. He had smiled and eaten and joked with her. But then come morning, he was a mess all over again. She knew depression wasn’t just magically cured but she figured that after a week of peace, he would at least be a little better. Vesela had gone through all this before with Ivo. Hell, she went through depression when she had Joseph. She knew how it worked.

Nothing seemed to be working, though. She couldn’t grasp what had gone wrong; ever since that night he had woken up and come down to sit with her, everything crashed. One day was all she was able to brighten.

“One fucking day,” she murmured, still looking out at her baby. “All you were able to give him was one day before he crashed even harder…”

She had spent the last couple days racking her brain and trying to find out where it went wrong. They had talked in the night and then, bam.

“The night, you idiot…” She uttered in realization.

_“So…” Joseph began nervously, gaze down at his hands in his lap. “It’s not okay for boys to like boys?”_

Vesela sat with her legs under her, heightening herself, and staring even harder at her son. She could feel her heart beating in fear like it did that first night.

Fear that her son might actually be gay.

“He’s too little… He doesn’t even understand these things, right?” She asked herself. When did a mind start processing and understanding those sorts of things? She had no idea and she didn’t even have anyone that she could ask.

Her face turned to worry as Vesela tried to figure her child out. Why would he be gay? It’s not like he was surrounded by gay people to be one. He didn’t even know what they were called until she had told him.

She counted on her fingers. “Tate, Ivo, Venc… Yulian… umm…” Vesela tried to think of the other men in Joseph’s life. Children learned and became their own through influence. “Oh and Raul and Emilio…” Putting a finger down, she figured “Well, Emilio is a child, so maybe he doesn’t get counted…”

Looking at her hand, Vesela realized Joseph only really had five men in his life. Technically, Yulian and Raul didn’t really count since Joseph wasn’t around them that much anyways.

“Then what the hell? You’re not going to find manlier men then tate, Ivo, and Venc. I mean, Ivo would murder anyone who thought he was gay. Venc is always dying for a girlfriend and tate was the greatest man to ever live.”

Then how could Joseph even be remotely gay? It wasn’t – it couldn’t – be possible. No way.

Vesela let out the breath she didn’t even know she was holding. If Joseph really was gay, then God help them both. “God forbid,” she whispered. “Please God, I don’t care how horrible you make my life, just please, don’t let Joseph turn out to be gay.”

It was disgusting. She didn’t understand how the hell people could be attracted to the same sex. Even if it wasn’t gross, it was a sin no matter what religion you believed in.

Watching as Joseph stood and began walking back to house, Vesela didn’t know what to think. What she did know was that if Joseph truly was gay and if Ivo ever found out…

They were both dead.

  

* * *

 

Joseph slowly ran his finger up and down the cuts on his arm. His mother had taken off the bandages, telling him that they had to air out. Which was nice because he found looking at them really satisfying.

Looking up, he smiled back at her as she came down the stairs with her purse. “Are you going somewhere?”

“Actually, I thought we could go to the shops around here? Maybe stretch our legs out by walking around? Maybe buy something?” She told him, kissing his head when she reached him.

“Sounds okay, I guess. But are we gonna be forever? I’m not up to a super long time.”

Shrugging, she answered “However long you want. When you get tired, just let me know and we’ll come back.”

“Oh, then sounds good,” he replied as he got off the couch following her out.

  

* * *

 

Joseph waited until his mother parked, then undid his seatbelt and got out of the car. He waited beside the car for her as she got out and locked the car. Walking fast so his little legs could keep him in line with her, Joseph asked “So which place first?”

“I’m thinking that antique store,” she pointed to the store across the street. “I always wanted to go in one.”

“You’ve never been inside one before?”

“Surprisingly, no. I don’t know why, though. They seem so interesting.”

Reaching the door, he reached for the knob and held it open for her. She laughed and bowed. “Thank you, my good sir.”

He couldn’t help and feel amused by her constant attempts to make him smile. Deciding that she deserved one at the moment, Joseph smiled big and bowed himself. “My pleasure, my lady.”

Laughing once more, his mother walked in and let out a small noise of amazement. “Okay, this place is cool.”

Walking in behind her, he was also impressed. It really was cool. There was old furniture, toys, and things in cases that just had to be expensive. But if it was an antique store, probably everything was a bit pricey.

Definitely one of those moments he was grateful who his father was.

“Do you want to stick together or split up?” His mother asked, turning to look down at him. “The place is small and I’ll always keep my eye on you.”

He bit his lip as he looked around the store and pondered. It wasn’t huge and it was a little empty anyways… “I think we can split up. J-Just make sure you’re always looking, okay?”

Crouching down, his mother hugged him tight. “No one is taking you on my watch. My promise. I’ll tackle any asshole who even talks to you.”

Giving a small laugh, Joseph murmured “Maybe not tackle but thank you.”

She kissed the side of his head as she stood. “I’m going to start right here, okay?” She pointed to a part of the store with little figurines.

“Okay,” he nodded as he looked where he wanted to start. His eye caught on what he thought might be a bookshelf. If it was, that was a fantastic place to start.

Walking over, Joseph actually got a little excited by the fact there was not only one shelf filled with books but _four._ Excitement wasn’t a feeling he had been in contact with in, what felt like, a really long while. He hoped he’d be able to find something.

After scanning the first two shelves and not finding anything that caught his eye, he didn’t hold out too much hope for anything to pop out at him. So surprise struck him when something actually did.

He stretched up on his tiptoes but Joseph just couldn’t reach. “Why are you so short,” he muttered in frustration. Joseph froze in surprise when a hand came from behind him and took out the book he was going for.

Turning around, Joseph was met with the smiling face of a woman wearing a scarf around her head. It was… different. He didn’t think he had ever seen anyone wearing it the way she did. “Was it this one you were going for?” She asked, handing him the book.

Taking the book from her, he said nervously “Um, yes. Thank you.” His heart fluttered in relief when his mother turned up behind the woman; she must have been watching really closely.

“It’s a fantastic book although it might be a little difficult for you. It’s difficult even for adults.”

“What’d you find there, sweetheart?” His mother asked as she stood next to him. The woman smiled as her gaze matched with his mother’s.

Biting his lip, he looked down and read the title. “The… Silmarillion?” He looked up the scarf woman to make sure he was pronouncing it right. He had actually just noticed that the book was written by J. R. R. Tolkien and had gone for it. He was the same guy who wrote The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings so Joseph figured that any book by him was good.

She nodded and said “Yup. The story of the Silmarils.”

He scrunched his nose in confusion. “The what?”

Laughing, she replied “Don’t worry about it. Like I said it’s a pretty difficult book. Have you ever read any of his other books?”

Joseph was actually getting a little comfortable. Talking about books was easy. “Um, ya actually. I read The Hobbit and I just finished The Lord of the Rings a few weeks ago.”

The woman looked impressed. “Well done, kid. Lord of the Rings isn’t easy. But that there,” she pointed to the book in his hand, “Is even harder.”

Looking down at it, he said “Really? How come?”

“Just the way it’s written. It’s kind of like a history book. And there are so many people, places, and stories to keep track of.”

“Hmm…”

“Well, thank you for getting the book for him,” his mother said dismissively. She probably didn’t like some strange lady talking to him.

The woman smiled once more. “Of course! Enjoy your story, kid,” she said as she began to walk away.

“Um, ma’am,” Joseph started nervously. He had a question that he needed answered. Well, Joseph preferred that any and all questions he had got answered. He hated not knowing things.

“Yes?” She turned curiously.

He pointed to her scarf, “Why do you wear that?”

“Joseph,” his mother murmured warningly. He didn’t think he was being rude; he was genuinely curious.

The woman walked back to them. “No it’s fine! It’s always good to ask and understand.” She looked to Joseph as she crouched in front of him. “It’s my hijab. I’m a Muslim and it is a choice that women can make to wear it, if they would like.”

Joseph blinked in thought. He had heard of Muslims but he had never met one before. At least, he hadn’t met a woman wearing a hijab; he could have met Muslim men or women who didn’t wear it.

“That’s pretty cool. I’ve never read much about Muslims before but I think I will now…” He continued thinking as the woman smiled at him. He did remember one fact though and he wanted to show that he did at least know something. “But I do know one thing.”

“Well, that’s good! Even just a little opens people’s minds to new things. And what is it?”

“Did you know that Islam is actually the second largest religion in Bulgaria? The first is Eastern Orthodox, which is what I am.”

“I didn’t know that. Thank you for telling me.” Joseph felt like the woman was always in an eternal smile; he definitely liked it. She smiled as pretty as his mother.

“Where are you from?”

“Joseph, I’m sure she has places to be,” his mother interrupted.

The woman laughed. “I actually do but one last question isn’t going to hurt anyone. If anything, it is going to inspire your brilliant child to conduct some more research. Something that is never a bad thing.” Turning back to Joseph, she said “My family comes from Palestine in the Middle East. You’re going to find quite a bit about that, probably.”

Scrunching his face in thought, Joseph realized he had never even heard of that place. Research was definitely in order. He was kind of glad; Joseph couldn’t remember the last time he had actually wanted to bother looking up something. The last time he had even had energy to want to do something.

This lady was pretty helpful.

He smiled up at her, “Thank you, miss, for answering my questions. Oh and the book.”

Turning away for the last time, the woman said behind her “My pleasure, Joseph. Happy researching!”

Joseph looked back down at the book in his hand. He wondered if his father had ever read it; it was a Tolkien book but Joseph didn’t recall him ever mentioning it.

Looking at his mother, he said “Um, is it okay if I buy this for tatko for Christmas?” It was still sort of bothering Joseph that they had left his father for Christmas. He knew it was going to be hard on him to be alone. It was only two days away now.

His mother tilted her head in thought. Joseph still didn’t understand how she didn’t seem the least bothered by them leaving his father alone for Christmas. But he had come to notice how she would go out of her way making sure not to mention him around Joseph.

When she said not to think about him, she had been serious.

But it was the holidays and Joseph wasn’t cruel to make his father suffer. He planned on asking his mother if they could go back on Christmas Eve. That meant he needed to find a good gift and he felt like the book might be it.

“You want to get it for him?”

Nodding, he murmured “Yup. Something else to go with it too.” He examined the book closely; it was in good condition and smelled nice. “I think he might like it.”

His mother was silent a little longer and then surprised him when she hugged him tight. “You are the absolute sweetest, Joseph Kavinsky.”

He gave a small laugh. “Thank you. So can I buy it?”

“Knock yourself out. Do you have enough with you? I’d offer but I know you want to get it yourself.”

“I should be good. What else do you think he might like? And I want to find something for Emilio too.”

Standing up, she took his hand and walked him to the glass cases. She pointed at a beautiful switchblade. “I was actually going to buy that for him but you can get it if you want. I’ll pick something else.”

Joseph looked closely at it. It was really pretty but he didn’t think he had brought that much money with him. “I don’t think I have enough for that, mayko.”

“How about I pay for it now and then when we get home, you can give me from whatever you saved up?”

Nodding, Joseph replied “Okay, sounds good.”

  

* * *

 

Sitting upon the bed, Joseph carefully wrapped up the box he had placed his father’s gifts in. He really hoped he would like them. Joseph still felt like he needed to apologize for what he had said before they had left.

He lifted the gift and examined each side, edge, and corner. It looked pretty good. Moving it to the side, he grabbed the box that was Emilio’s gift. It was Emilio’s ultimate dream to be a detective like his father. When they had been out, Joseph’s eye caught on a Walmart – they always had everything. He had scoured the toy aisle for about a half hour before he had found the perfect thing.

A crime scene kit. Joseph couldn’t go wrong there.

“I’m so broke now…” he murmured as he wrapped up his best friend’s gift. The money he had brought covered the book, Emilio’s gift, and a model car he had found for himself. He owed his mother for the knife and still had no clue what to get for her.

Finishing his wrapping, he threw himself to lie down and stared up at the ceiling. Today had actually been a good day. His mother’s plan to help him breathe easier was definitely successful today. He felt at peace. No immediate worries or thoughts were crowding his brain.

The last week had been horrible since he had found out that he was a disgusting human being. Joseph had finally admitted, that yes, he really was gay. There was no way around it anymore. Boys were always going to be more attractive than girls. He had held out hope that maybe he liked both genders but nope. No matter how much he looked or who he looked at, girls didn’t even make him bat an eye.

Joseph was gay. And he was going to make sure that nobody ever found out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband


	56. Chapter 55

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> Vesela Koleda = Merry Christmas  
> I'm not gonna stick it in the dictionary because the next few chpts is the only time ur probs gonna see it. Christmas has arrived for the Kavinskys (I always want to write Kavinskies haha). Plus, you know, everyone else. The next few chpts are actually happy.
> 
> I hope you guys didn't seriously believe that. Ya, they're happy but there is my ever present touch of angst. I'm not sure if I can write a fully happy chpt. Someone should challenge me to it.
> 
> EDIT: I'm a liar apparently. I wrote that note and then was doing a last edit to the chpt and realized that it is literally complete fluff. The angsty bit I thought was there is the next chpt. I'm forever an idiot (stole that from teenage Emilio, who currently in his wip story got his ass beaten)
> 
> No warnings, just enjoy! Oh and chpt on Tuesday, cuz Vaentines and stuff. That whole cheesy 'I love you guys so please accept my way of loving with a chpt'  
> Also thanks to the two peeps who hit the kudos button yesterday (or was it the day before?)
> 
> Oh, oh and pitka is this awesome Bulgarian bread they make for Christmas and then you put a coin in it and whoever gets the piece with the coin gets good fortune for the year! Y'all should look it up. Bulgarian Christmas traditions seem really awesome! (Research is always fun! I do a lot for this story)
> 
> _“I bought a multi-recipient gift. Both Joseph and I get to enjoy it. I think it sounds pretty fair.”_

Ivo stared up at the ceiling; he had been doing that a lot lately. But then there wasn’t much else for him to do anyways. Well, besides for work. He let out a sigh as he rubbed Peanut who was sleeping beside him. At least they had left her behind; she was a comfort in her own way. He wasn’t entirely alone.

“Maybe I should have taken up Raul on his offer…” he muttered to the ever present silence of the house. Here he was lying on his bed on Christmas Eve, without anyone. Both Raul and Venc had told him to come have dinner on Christmas Eve and then he could spend Christmas Day with either of them tomorrow.

But it just felt wrong. Christmas was supposed to be with _his family_. His wife and his son. Not that he had anything against Venc and Raul, and he did consider Venc family, but still. It wasn’t Christmas without Vesela and Joseph.

He flicked his gaze to the clock beside him: 10:17 P.M. It was late enough for him to drink himself into a stupor, wasn’t it? Ivo didn’t really drink; his best friend had died from alcohol poisoning when they were stupid and fifteen. From that day, he had sworn off alcohol. But when he had started working for Timotei, everyone he met in the mob had actually made fun of him for not drinking. Why, he had no clue. You would think the assholes wouldn’t want to die.

But since then, he would take a drink once in a while when the moment called for it. Luckily those moments weren’t too often. It didn’t stop Ivo from having an expensive cabinet of alcohols, though. He always enjoyed making people green with envy.

Huffing, he sat up and grabbed the key from his drawer. He always made sure to lock the cabinet and hide the key; Joseph wasn’t stupid but Ivo didn’t like to take chances. Especially when Joseph had admitted to having suicidal thoughts. Alcohol was a killer.

Standing up, he made his way downstairs and to his office. Unlocking the cabinet, Ivo contemplated his choices. He had always liked whiskey; it had been his father’s favorite too. But maybe it was a vodka night?

“Nah,” he said as he reached for a bottle. “Pure malt scotch whiskey. Best way to go.” He grabbed a glass and then locked up the cabinet. “Time to go down a bottle of expensive alcohol. Eleven thousand dollars is gonna go down my throat tonight.”

Shutting off the light and walking out, Ivo nearly dropped the bottle and glass that were in his hands when something collided with him.  Looking down, he couldn’t believe his eyes. He hadn’t even started drinking yet and he was already seeing things.

Joseph was looking up at him with a smile on his face, hugging Ivo tight. “Vesela Koleda, tatko!”

Ivo just stood blinking in shock. Joseph was here? But if he was then?

Looking up, his eyes caught on Vesela leaning on the island, face lit in a radiant smile. He couldn’t believe it; he almost truly believed that he was hallucinating and that he had finally reached that level of crazy he knew he would get to one day.

He looked back down to Joseph, still hugging his waist and smiling. Crouching down, he placed the cup and bottle on the floor and hugged Joseph close, holding him as tight as he could. Joseph wrapped his arms around Ivo and kissed his cheek.

“Vesela Koleda, brat,” Ivo murmured. “Goddammit, have I missed you.” Kissing Joseph, he said into his hair, “Welcome home.”

Lifting Joseph as he stood, Ivo held him close. He didn’t think he’d be putting him down anytime soon. Ivo missed him a lot more than he had actually expected himself too. He walked over to Vesela and kissed her close the minute he could reach and dragged her into his embrace.

Pulling away, she laughed “Missed us, did you?”

“Fuck yes. I was on the verge of going insane.”

Smiling, she replied “I can see that. Had the alcohol out and everything.”

Dragging her back into his hug, he said “I mean, you can’t blame me. You either spend Christmas with your family or you spend it getting drunk. My family wasn’t here so I had to go with the latter option.”

“But we’re here now,” Joseph murmured.

Ivo smiled and kissed his forehead. “That you are. I’m still trying to get over the fact that I’m not imagining things, to be honest.”

Joseph laughed. “No, tatko, we’re very real. I didn’t want you to be alone for Christmas.”

“Thank you so much,” he replied while squeezing Joseph tight. “You’ve no clue how much this means to me. How happy I am to see you both. Although,” he glanced around the house, “We’re gonna have a much quieter and simpler Christmas than usual. No decorations, no tree, we didn’t have our big ass dinner, we didn’t make pitka…” He trailed off as he tried to think of everything else they missed.

“Are you done?” Vesela laughed. “We can still make a big ass dinner tomorrow and we can make the pitka a day late.” Shrugging her shoulders, she said “We’ll just skip the decorations.”

“It’s not the same doing everything late, you know.”

“How about we just don’t do anything and enjoy our time together instead?” Joseph asked, looking between Ivo and Vesela. He scrunched his nose then. “I don’t want to have a huge dinner.” Clutching Ivo tighter, he murmured “I just want to be with you guys.”

Lacing his fingers in Vesela’s, Ivo began walking them to the stairs, going up to his room. “That, brat, is a fantastic idea. But I still want pitka.”

Laughing, Joseph replied “Pitka _is_ delicious. We can make some tomorrow.”

  

* * *

 

Joseph sat in his father’s lap on his parents’ bed and his mother was curled into his father’s side. His father had an arm curled around each of them and was telling them about his couple of dinners at the Vidal’s house. Joseph fiddled with his father’s wedding ring on his finger as he spoke.

“And then I had something called tembleque,” he stumbled a little on the word, his Bulgarian accent making it sound even odder. Joseph couldn’t help but giggle to which his father flicked his ear. Continuing, he said “Which was delicious. You should ask Claudia how to make it because it was insanely amazing. I also had-”

“Wait, what is it though?” Joseph interrupted.

“Oh ya. It’s this coconut puddingish thing. And it’s got like cinnamon and shit. Delicious. And I had a cheese flan. That was also fucking amazing.”

Breaking into laughter, his mother said “Okay, so what? You spent your time stuffing yourself with sweets? Are you going to tell us about another dessert next?”

He could hear the humor in his father’s voice. “I enjoyed myself some amazing food and I’m simply telling you guys about them.”

“All I’ve heard is desserts so far. And an alcoholic eggnog, which I’m surprised you actual drank.”

“Coquito is good. Why do you think they use a lot of coconut in their stuff?”

“You could have asked…”

Joseph felt his eyelids beginning to droop as he no longer paid attention to the exchange. He was exhausted and hadn’t had a good night’s sleep in so long. Maybe because he was home and everyone was happy, he’d be able to find actual rest.

Deciding to give in to his exhaustion, Joseph shut his eyes and curled in closer to his father. Sleep was all he wanted and in the surprising comfort of his father’s arm, he felt like he just might find it tonight.

  

* * *

 

Vesela watched as Joseph’s breathing slowed and he fell asleep. Even though the vacation had been to get away from Ivo, she felt like Joseph couldn’t be happier to be with him. Ivo definitely couldn’t; he hadn’t let go off his son since they came home. She felt like she just might have actually accomplished something here.

Ivo looked down at Joseph in his lap, brushing the hair out of his face. “He actually looks a little better.”

“Well,” she began as she ran her fingers through her baby’s hair, “He had good days and bad ones, just like here. But I think the fresh air helped a bit.”

She watched as Ivo bit his lip. “You mean being away from me.”

Contemplating the thought for minute, Vesela said “I actually don’t know. Like I said, good and bad days just like here. He smiled a bit more and ate a little more but to be honest, I think you were always on his mind. The first day when we were going to eat, he was worried that you were going to spend Christmas alone. We-”

Disbelief lit Ivo’s face. “The first day? The same day he accused me of not loving him and that I just put up with him because he’s there? Bullshit, Vesela.” Hurt flashed in his eyes, “The first day was probably his best.”

“I’m serious, Ivo. He saw the calendar and realized that we were going to be gone for Christmas. And he didn’t want you to be alone. It was his idea to come today. I won’t lie to you, I wasn’t going to. I had planned on finishing the vacation up. But he wanted to be home for you. He even bought you gifts.”

Raising an eyebrow, Ivo stared into her face, titling his head as he considered the fact that she might not be lying. She wasn’t but her repeating herself wasn’t going to do anything. He needed to believe the words by himself. She could tell that he really wanted to believe her.

After a few minutes, he looked down to his child in his lap who was sleeping, for once, soundly. He curled some stray hairs behind Joseph’s ear, murmuring “Well, I got him a few things too.”

Heart beating in happiness, she leaned forward and kissed her husband passionately. Right about now, she really wished Joseph was in his own room. Vesela could tell from the way Ivo was kissing that he really wished it to.

Pulling away, she murmured “A promise for tomorrow.”

  

* * *

 

Ivo stretched as he opened his eyes, yawning while he did. He watched how Vesela and Joseph’s chests rose and fell as they slept. It had been awhile since either of them had actually had a good night’s sleep. He knew Vesela didn’t sleep good when he wasn’t around and Joseph didn’t even know what sleep was anymore.

Getting out of bed carefully, he practically smooshed Peanut who, it seems, spent the night on the floor on his side of the bed. “Stupid fucking cat,” he muttered in annoyance as she meowed at him in annoyance, answering right back. “No one told you to sleep in such a stupid place.”

He walked quietly to Joseph’s room to use his bathroom. If he used the one in the room, he would probably wake them up. Finishing up, he tripped on Peanut as he walked out, barely catching himself. She ran and yelled at him from a distance. “Oh my God, you motherfucker,” he said in frustration. “Go sleep! What the hell do you want?”

Watching as she trotted to him and started rubbing his leg as if nothing ever happened, Ivo huffed as he stooped down and lifted her up, taking her downstairs with him. He placed her on the floor in the kitchen as he took out her plate and dug in the cabinet for a can of cat food. Finding one, he dumped half the vile smelling concoction into the plate and put it down for the annoying creature. “Enjoy,” he muttered. “Now leave me the hell alone.”

His eyes caught on the bottle of whiskey and glass still on the floor in front of his office. “Probably should put those away,” he murmured to himself as he walked to them. Picking them off the floor, he thought about Joseph buying him gifts. He’d love them no matter what, just for the fact that Joseph picked them out with him in mind but he couldn’t help and be curious.

He felt like a child eager for his presents. Ivo wasn’t even sure when was the last time he felt excited by the prospect of gifts.

Putting the alcohol away, he opened the closet, catching his gaze on the bag of stuff he had gotten Joseph for Christmas. He hadn’t expected them to be home so soon, so he hadn’t wrapped them yet. Wrapping paper was definitely something he had no clue where it would be – hopefully Joseph wouldn’t mind.

Taking out the bag and putting it to the side, he glanced at the array of cabinets he had. He completely forgot which drawer he had put Vesela’s gift in. She was going to love it; he knew that for sure.

“What are you doing?”

Ivo jumped in surprise and looked to Joseph standing in the doorway. “Good morning.”

Joseph smiled and walked over to Ivo, stuffed cats in hand. More like in arms, actually. Ivo crouched down and hugged him tight, Joseph attempting to do the same while still clutching his cats. “Morning,” he murmured into Ivo’s shoulder.

“Coulda slept longer. No rush in waking up.”

Leaning back, Joseph laughed. “I think I’ve slept more than I’ve slept in weeks.”

Kissing his son’s nose, he said “Well, then I guess we should be thankful for that.”

His gaze caught on the bag behind Ivo. “Are those mine?” Joseph asked, voice full of hope. Maybe even a little excitement. Ever since Timotei had died, Ivo was pretty sure excitement wasn’t something Joseph was familiar with.

Letting out a little huff, he laughed “Well, yes but see, you weren’t exactly supposed to be awake yet. Thought I’d get like at least an hour to kinda prepare.”

Laughing, Joseph hugged Ivo once more. “Thank you. I bet they’re fantastic.” He actually bounced a bit, “Can I see now?”

“Uh, no. Let’s be real here. Mayko would murder both of us if we opened presents before she even woke up.” Joseph made a face of displeasure. “But you can help me find where the hell I put her gift.”

“You lost her gift, tatko?” Joseph shook his head in mock disappointment. “For shame.”

Ivo laughed as he stood. “Ya, ya, I know. But it’s in one of these drawers. That I know for sure.”

“Okay,” Joseph said as he placed the cats on the floor, “What am I looking for?”

“A jewelry box,” he murmured as he began checking the higher drawers, pushing things left and right. God, he needed to clean one of these days.

He could hear the slight disdain in his brat’s voice. “Jewelry? It’s okay I guess.”

“Normally I’d agree and say jewelry can be a crappy gift but trust me, she’s gonna love this one.”

“Why are you so sure?”

“When you find the box, open it up and tell me I’m wrong.”

They worked the next some minutes in silence, each of them searching drawer after drawer. Peanut had joined them and was keeping watch on Lord Hideous and Lady Calico.

“Found it!” Joseph said with glee. He began walking to Ivo as he opened the box and halted when he got it open. Ivo could see the surprise in Joseph’s face. Tears began to well in his eyes. “When did you find it?”

“Raul gave it to me a few days ago. You think it’s a good Christmas gift?”

Joseph wiped his eyes and nose with his sleeve and gave a little laugh. “She’s going to love it.”

“Ya, that’s what I thought,” he murmured as he walked to Joseph and lifted him into his arms. His kid was almost nine and yet Ivo could carry him like nothing. It worried him a little; he really shouldn’t be this tiny. Maybe it was just because he hadn’t been eating that he looked and felt tinier than usual.

Closing the box, Joseph rested his head on Ivo’s shoulder. “I think you’re gonna like your gifts, by the way.”

Smiling, he replied “I bet I am. I’ve been excited for them all morning actually. Maybe we should just jump on mayko to wake her up. She’s taking way too long.”

Giggling, Joseph answered “Jumping on her sounds like a plan.”

  

* * *

 

Joseph crept quietly into his parents’ bedroom, his father and Peanut trailing behind him. His mother was still asleep; she didn’t even look like she had moved since he had woken up. Reaching a good distance from the bed, Joseph ran and jumped.

And landed perfectly on top of her.

“Jesus Christ!” She woke in surprise, eyes flying open and sitting up quickly.

Joseph broke into uncontrollable laughter, clutching his stomach and trying to catch his breath. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt this good. The laugh just came out so easily and effortless. Maybe it was because him and his father were good and it was Christmas.

Whatever it was, it felt wonderful to be happy again.

His mother caught his laugh when she realized what – or rather _who_ –  had woken her. Grabbing him, she flipped him under her and smothered him. “Mercy?” She laughed.

“No!” He yelled in glee. He knew he had backup.

Shrieking in surprise, his mother’s weight was off him in seconds. He looked up at his father lifting her by her waist and almost practically tossing her next to Joseph on the bed. Leaning over her, their bodies flush against each other, his father kissed his mother and laughed. “Sorry, bros before hos my dear beautiful wife.”

Smiling, she held his face and kissed him close. “You’re such an asshole.” She turned and looked at Joseph, pointing. “Not an asshole but I’m soo gonna get you back.”

Joseph smiled wide and replied “Good luck. You’re not going to catch me by surprise. Imma be on my toes.”

“I got your back brat,” his father stuck out a fist for a bump which Joseph answered with joy. “She ain’t going to get you on my watch.”

His mother laughed while shoving his father off and sitting up. Leaning over and putting her face in Joseph’s, she winked “He can’t watch forever. I’m gonna get you good.”

“Bring it,” he said mischievously.

“Oh, I’m gonna bring it all right.” Kissing his forehead, she murmured “Vesela Koleda, my beautiful little boy.”

Smiling, Joseph knew that his bad days weren’t just going to magically disappear. There was going to be good and there was going to be bad. But today?

Today was going to great.

Hugging his mother, Joseph kissed her back.

“Vesela Koleda.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband


	57. Chapter 56

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> Happy Valentine's Day! I actually think Valentines is incredibly stupid (sorry to anyone who likes it) but accept my love for all my awesome readers with this chpt. To anyone who doesn't have a Valentine, I'm totally yours ;)
> 
> Warnings of angst and an asshole ruining Christmas for a little boy  
> Enjoy!
> 
> _“I took you down, son!”_

“Can we open gifts now?” Joseph asked eagerly, bouncing as he was sitting on the bed. The bag in the office was tantalizing and he really wanted to see what was in it. He also wanted to give his father his gifts; Joseph was excited to see his reaction.

“Nope, sorry,” his mother said as she plopped her head into his father’s lap.

His father made a face of annoyance and displeasure. “And why the hell not? You already took forever to get up, not to make us wait longer. We were nice enough to wait for you, you know.”

Laughing, his mother replied “Oh my God, Ivo. You’re not a child to get pissy about it. And-”

“I am,” Joseph interrupted.

Rolling her eyes, she continued “And it’s good to know that you both have enough manners to wait for the lady of the house. Sometimes I worry about your guys’ manners.”

“Pft, we have the most kickass manners ever,” his father muttered.

“That can be questionable.” He watched as his mother contemplated a thought while looking up at his father. “Ivo,” she started, voice almost whining.

Raising an eyebrow, he answered “What do you want?”

“Well, I mean it is Christmas and we did already miss yesterday’s dinner… usually the whole family is together…”

Joseph could guess what was coming next. It was either she wanted to invite his Tetka or she wanted them to go over. Usually on Christmas, they would alternate days for dinner. Someone would invite on Christmas Eve and someone on Christmas Day.

“Vesela, I don’t think we can put a huge dinner together that fast and she isn’t expecting us so she can’t either.”

Sitting up, she practically sat in his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck. “No, but we could all go out for breakfast, maybe?”

His father stared for a few seconds before saying “What happened to ‘just us’?”

She ran a finger down his jaw, ending it at his mouth and resting it there. She murmured softly “I know but this is our first Christmas without tate… It should be all of us together.”

He knew that she was going to get his father to give in. The power of guilt, grief, and seduction. It generally worked pretty well. Kissing her, he replied “I suppose it should. If they haven’t eaten yet, then we’ll invite them somewhere.”

“And mind your manners?”

Doing his trademark eyeroll, he said “And maybe attempt not to murder your sister or brother-in-law. No guarantees though.”

“I’ll take what I can get,” she laughed.

Bouncing up off the bed, she turned to Joseph. “Go on and clean your room and get ready. Even if they’re not coming, we’ll go out to eat. I refuse to cook on Christmas this year.”

“Can I refuse to clean on Christmas this year?” He asked in hope.

“Nice try but no.” Walking to the bathroom and before she shut the door, she said “Butt moving, let’s go!”

Looking to his father who was now on his phone, he asked tentatively “Guess I can’t convince you to clean my room for me?” Hopefully, his father was still in a good mood and felt like joking around.

Smirking while still looking at his phone, he said “Not a chance, brat. Get your ass moving. Faster we leave, the faster we come back. I just want to wallow in bed today or maybe on the couch. I’ll decide when the time comes.”

Sighing, Joseph slid off the bed and trudged to his room. He still had to empty out his duffel bag too. After fixing his bed, he dragged his duffel onto it and started taking everything out. He put his clothes in the laundry and made sure to put the gifts he bought into his closet.

His hand grasped on a glass jar as he remembered what it was. Pulling it out, he examined what he decided on for his mother. It wasn’t much but he had made it and she usually loved anything he made. Joseph wouldn’t have been able to figure out what to buy her anyways. Hand crafted had seemed the best route to take.

Placing it carefully on his bed, he went back to his closet to dig for something to put it in. He was pretty sure there were stray boxes here and there; all he had to do was find them. Always the hard part.

And of course found nothing. But then, nobody ever found anything when they needed it.

“A bag would work too…” He stood in thought, staring at his closet. He didn’t even know where they put gift bags. That was even if they had any.

He jumped a little when Peanut rubbed on him, spooking him. Picking her up, he hugged her close, rubbing her head as she closed her eyes and hummed in delight.

“You’re still not dressed?” His father asked, surprise evident as he walked in, dressed and ready to go.

“Was I supposed to be rushing? I was still putting my stuff away.”

“Kind of. Mayko is already half done. Hurry up.” He walked to Joseph’s closet and pulled out a shirt and jeans and tossed them on him.

“Hey!” He muttered, muffled under the clothes. Yanking them off, he said indignantly “I can pick my own clothes.”

“I’m sure you can,” he said as he took out a jacket and set it on the dresser. “But you’re moving too slow.” Joseph cringed as his father plopped himself on his bed and pulled out his phone. He prayed that his mother’s gift didn’t get jostled or break. His father peaked over his phone, “Let’s go, get dressed.”

Placing the clothes on the bed, Joseph checked it, not finding the jar. Walking closer towards the pillows, he cringed once more when he kicked something. _It’s probably not as pretty now…_

Stooping down, he lifted the jar in which he had layered sand he had dyed in different colors. He had filled it half way and then placed a couple shells and a little starfish on top. He had even made fake little tiny palm trees and set them in the sand. Joseph hadn’t known how to make sure the sand didn’t move, so he simply tried to be careful. But now everything was mixed and a mess.

Biting his lip, he pondered what he could do to fix it. Joseph could feel the tears of helplessness and frustration prickling his eyes. He had no clue what to do. He was pretty sure there wasn’t even a way to fix it. The layers were all mixed up and everything was just… jumbled. And ugly.

“Is there a particular reason you’re not moving?” His father asked with slight annoyance in his voice. He was still staring at his phone but when Joseph didn’t answer he turned to look at him. “What’s that?”

“Um… I-It was mayko’s gift but…” Telling his father that it was his fault it was ruined didn’t sound like a good idea. His tears became more than prickles and started to well.

His father sat up and sat on the edge of the bed, pulling Joseph to him. He carefully took the jar from his hands and examined it. “It was on the bed when I threw myself on it, wasn’t it.”

Joseph nodded and tried to subtly wiped his tears into his shoulder.

“Shit, I’m sorry Joseph…” He hugged Joseph and murmured into his hair “And I’m guessing those tears you’re trying to hide are because you can’t think of how to fix it?”

Joseph nodded again.

“Ivo, you stupid motherfucker…” his father muttered to himself. Louder, he said “Okay, I can fix this.”

“Fix what?” His mother asked as she came in, finishing the buttons on her pea coat. Looking up, she said, bewildered “Why aren’t you ready yet, Joseph?”

He simply pressed himself into his father’s chest, not wanting to turn around or answer. She would see the tears if he did and then he’d have to explain what was wrong.

“We men are currently having a crisis, if you could come back later? Please and thank you,” his father said in a businesslike manner that Joseph couldn’t help but smile to.

“Can the crisis occur later? We need to go.”

Joseph was going to just let everything go but his father clutched his shoulder and said “No, sorry. We need a few minutes. Actually, at least ten would be nice.”

He could hear the confusion in his mother’s voice as she muttered “Okay, I guess. Just don’t take forever? I’ll wait downstairs.”

Waiting until he heard his mother going down the stairs, Joseph murmured “It’s not a big deal, tatko. I’ll just make something else.”

“It is a big deal because I fucked it up.” He looked at the jar again. “Maybe we can remake it? It’s layers of colored sand with stuff on top right?”

“Yes, but we don’t have sand,” he muttered in defeat. He had already thought of that one.

Watching as his father bit his lip, Joseph tried to think of something else he could do for her. But nothing came to mind. It was hard enough just thinking of that.

“Alright, we can just buy sand then. We eat breakfast with everyone and then you and me will go. Sound good?”

Sighing, he said “Ya, sounds good.” It wouldn’t be as fun making it a second time but there was nothing else he could think of.

Kissing his head, his father said “My bad, brat. I’ll watch where I put my ass next time.”

“It’s okay,” he muttered as he pulled out of his father’s embrace while yanking off his shirt. If they took any longer, his mother would probably bite their heads off.

Tossing his shirt on the bed, he made to reach for the other when his father grabbed his arm, turning it over, palm side up. Joseph watched as he took in the healed cuts on his arm. He ran a finger down, much like Joseph did when he was bored.

His finger stopped at the deepest one, close to his wrist. Joseph knew that one was going to stay as a scar for sure. Which was fine with him; he liked seeing it.

Rubbing it with his thumb, his father sat in silence, staring. When it didn’t seem like he was going to do or say anything, Joseph said “Tatko, I’m getting cold.”

Flicking his eyes to Joseph’s face, he let go of his arm and murmured as he stood. “Get dressed. I’ll meet you downstairs.”

  

* * *

 

“How long does it take a little boy to get dressed? Jesus…” Vesela muttered from where she stood, eating a banana.

“Are women more entitled to take their time than men?” He murmured, still lost in his thoughts. Obviously the cuts weren’t just going to disappear but seeing them made Ivo incredibly uncomfortable. It made him think of the fact that he might have found his brat dead in the shower if he had stopped Vesela for any longer. Luckily, Joseph hadn’t known entirely how to slit his wrists properly.

And that he hadn’t held back Vesela any longer.

That one was going to bite him for the rest of his life. His child might have actually bled out to death if he had bothered to be even more stubborn.

Thank God he had given in.

“First, he’s a boy not a man. And even you finished before he did. You who has to make sure his hair is perfect, shirt and buttons straight which is tucked neatly into his pants, socks not rolled, wearing the right pair of shoes and the right cologne. When it’s cold, you have to put the leather gloves and pick the jacket of the day, sometimes the hat of the day. Oh, let’s not forget the watch of the day-”

“Are you done?” He interrupted. Ivo was quite aware of his dressing habits; he did them pretty much every day. “And anyways, you love the way I dress and the way I smell. Don’t start hating on me now.” Fixing his shirt cuff, he murmured “He’ll be done in a minute.”

He glanced up as Joseph came bounding to them. “’Kay, I’m ready.”

“No, you’re not,” Vesela said. “Where’s you’re gloves? It’s freezing outside. Gloves and beanie.”

“I, uh, don’t know where they’re at.”

Huffing, Vesela asked “Checked everywhere? Is that why you didn’t bring any when we went to the beach? You didn’t just ‘forget,’ did you?”

“Uhh…”

An idea sparked in Ivo’s head. Two birds with one stone. “How about you take your car to the restaurant and then me and Joseph will go in mine? We’ll stop and buy gloves and shit. And then we’ll meet you guys there.”

 “Or we can just dig through his mess or stop on the way.”

“It’s okay, mayko. Me and tatko will be fast,” Joseph jumped in quickly. Smart brat.

Flicking her gaze between them, Vesela murmured “Okay, I guess. Just don’t take too long.”

“We won’t,” Ivo said as he jumped up from the couch. Slipping on his jacket and gloves, he grabbed his phone. He turned to Joseph, “Let’s go, brat. We gotta be quick.”

Joseph ran to the garage, opening the door and going in, with Ivo following. Grabbing his keys from the hook, he unlocked his car and got in. Joseph joined him after putting on his sneakers and buckled up. “Tatko?”

“What up,” he said as he turned on the car and reversed out, making sure the garage door was open. One time Vesela had forgotten and smashed it. He was extremely thankful his car wasn’t inside at the time. Or that she hadn’t been driving one of his.

“When I can drive, are you going to let me drive any of your cars?” Joseph asked in hope.

“Tell you what. When you get your license, you can pick any car you want from mine. It’ll be yours.” That’ll definitely earn him points in the awesome father department.

His child stared at him in shock. “Seriously?”

Laughing, Ivo said “Ya, seriously. Whichever one you want, it’s yours.” He paused for minute. “Okay, maybe not _whichever_ …”

Joseph laughed, “Ya that’s what I thought. But any of them would be totally awesome.” He bounced a little in his seat. “I can’t wait!” Giggling a little, he said “I’ve got a while, though. Guess I’m going to be waiting.”

Ivo couldn’t help but smile. He had actually gotten a giggle out of Joseph. Score one for him.

Getting lucky in finding parking literally in front of the store, they both got out and walked in. “Let’s make this part quick. Closest place to buy sand is like twenty minutes away. And telling mayko we got lost to make up for that time is not going to work. She’s smarter than both of combined sometimes.”

The gloves were the easy part. Black and served their purpose. They wasted a little more time picking out a beanie just for the fact that there were like gazillions of them but eventually they decided on a black one with a hat brim. Ivo preferred simple things – no design and no other color besides black.

Life was simpler that way. It had enough issues and complications in it, not to add the stupid things in.

  

* * *

 

Joseph felt a little better once they had bought the sand. They were in the car, sitting in the backseat, remaking his gift. Because it was Christmas, parking for the restaurant had cost them a lot of time. They ended up having to park far. Luckily, it gave them a reason to give on why they were so late.

Placing the last shell in, Joseph screwed the jar shut and smiled in delight. The sand already came colored, so half the work was already done for them but it came out looking really pretty. Handing it to his father, he watched as he tied a ribbon around the neck of the jar.

“And that there looks fucking amazing.”

Kissing his father on the cheek and wrapping his arms around his neck, he murmured “Thank you, tatko.”

His father wrapped an arm around him and said “You’re welcome. Although, it was my fault anyways. Glad we fixed it. She’s going to love it.”

“I hope so. Took me awhile just to think of something.”

“She will. Trust me.” His father kissed his head and murmured “I love you, Joseph.”

His heart stopped. He wanted to answer and say that he loved him too but for some reason, the words were stuck. Despite last night and this morning, Joseph found it so hard to believe his father. He seemed to have really missed him. He was constantly hugging and holding but Joseph just didn’t know.

He didn’t want to give his father his love if he wasn’t going to get anything back. It wasn’t fair. And he loved his father; despite everything, Joseph loved him a lot. But he was tired of feeling like he wasn’t getting anything back.

Joseph knew he was taking too long to reply to what seemed like such a simple thing. He could feel how his father was barely moving or breathing. The silence was bothering him.

Carefully placing the jar on the seat in front of him, his father turned and held Joseph’s face in his hands. “Joseph,” he started, his voice full of conviction. “I love you. I just don’t understand why it’s so hard for anyone to believe.” Pulling away, his father looked to the ceiling of the car, back flush against the seat. “I don’t understand what I have to do for you people to believe me.”

Biting his lip, Joseph said tentatively “Mayko’s waiting for us.” He wondered who ‘you people’ was. Were there others who questioned his father’s love for him?

Licking his lips and huffing, his father gave a sick laugh. “Ya, that’s what your worried about. Just ignore everything I said, why don’t you.” Shaking his head and closing his eyes, he muttered “Do you even like me?”

He stared at his father in surprise. Joseph never felt like he ever deprived his father of his affections; even on the days he didn’t deserve them. All he ever wanted was him to love him and be proud of him. And even though he rarely felt those things, Joseph always made his love apparent. He couldn’t bring himself to not love his father.

Despite everything.

“Don’t ask stupid questions, tatko.”

Opening his eyes, he turned his head to stare at Joseph. “Then why the hell can’t you just say ‘I love you’? If you mean it, why is it so hard to say?”

Rubbing the tears from his eyes, he said carefully “Because I can’t tell if you mean it. I’m tired of giving it and not knowing if I’m getting it back.”

Clenching his jaw, his father straightened and said “Is this the part where you tell me I just take care of you because I have to? Because I really don’t have to. I could’ve just thrown you and mayko out.” Joseph could hear the anger beginning to trickle into his voice. “I could’ve forced her to get rid of you. If I had pushed hard enough, she would have. But no, I kept you. Not because I have to, you fucking brat but because I actually give a shit.”

Turning his body to face Joseph, his father glared at him. He couldn’t believe that there was actual hurt mixed in with the anger. “When I say ‘I love you’ it’s because I do. The least you could do is believe those words on the basis that I’m not a liar, if nothing else.”

Steadying his breaths that were filled with tears, Joseph murmured again “Mayko’s waiting.”

His father let out a frustrated breath and shook his head. “Mayko’s waiting,” he muttered. “You know where the place is, go on. I’ll catch up. Not that it matters, it’s not like any of you want me there.”

Now Joseph was starting to get frustrated. His father seemed to be mixing up whose love was in question.

“I love you, tatko, and mayko does too. But sometimes you make it really hard to want to give you that love. Because a lot of times, it doesn’t feel like you love me. Maybe you really do and I’m stupid for thinking otherwise but that’s not entirely my fault. Maybe you should stop doing things that make me think that.”

His father stared at Joseph, his expression blank. He opened his mouth to say something but Joseph interrupted. He didn’t want to hear whatever it was.

“Stop making me hate my life so much.”

Shock flashed through his father; Joseph was pretty sure that the pain that was there was reinvigorated. He was glad – Joseph wanted it to hurt.

Opening the door, Joseph got out and shut it. Despite how worried he was to walk by himself, he just couldn’t be around his father right now.

“Vesela Koleda,” he murmured as he walked towards the restaurant. He was stupid to think Christmas would end up being any different from any other day in his terrible life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband


	58. Chapter 57

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> Did you guys see the word count before this chpt got added? I just noticed it. 120,200 Such a pretty looking number haha.  
> BIG NEWS! If you don't read the comments after I reply to everyone (replying is always fun and you probs should read em cause sometimes little bits and pieces of the future come out if you're observant enough to catch them O.O) I told BSymph about how there's a new Snapshot story today! It's purely Joseph. I realized that I didn't really detail his vacation so you guys get a day on the beach. It's one of his good days. There's also a Venc snapshot in the works!
> 
> Thanks to all the amazing people who comment! You guys make my day! In case anyone hasn't noticed, the longer your comment, the longer reply you get just because I have no self control in wanting to talk and if you talk a lot then I'll def give a lot back just because you gave me a direction with the convo. Imagine it as us having an awesome convo over some coffee or something and we're giving and taking. Thank you to all my amazing readers who are possibly a tad shy to talk. And make sure if you're enjoying the story, y'all hit that kudos button if you haven't already.
> 
> Goddamn, these notes get long. I told you guys, no self control. Oh and wave if your still out there Hatty. You're so quiet I'm genuinely like 'are they still alive?' I believe we still owe each other drinks.
> 
> Enjoy!  
> Ps: Nikol is way more awesome than Vesela and Ivo would tell you. They're biased assholes  
> Pps: It's kind of funny we've been talking about Venc's sexuality and then the next chpt has ***  
> ***I'm not gonna tell you haha
> 
> _“Yes, good. But shocking good. And it has to do with Venc.”_

Walking into the restaurant, Joseph looked around for his family. He didn’t want to give in to his sometimes immediate sense of fear. _Just look at the tables and check the faces…_ His eye caught on his Tétka Nikol. Noticing him from the corner of her eye, she smiled and waved him over.

Reaching them, she yanked him into a hug. “Vesela Koleda, you adorable dork.”

Giving her a slight laugh, he hugged her back and kissed her. “Vesela Koleda, Tétka.” He looked past her at his Tetíncho. He really didn’t want to hug him, so instead Joseph smiled and said from his Tétka’s arms “Vesela Koleda, Tetíncho.”

Smiling back, he replied “And to you too, Joseph. How are you?”

“Good,” he lied. His happy mood from this morning was long gone. It gave him hope and then shattered it into millions of pieces. Crushed the pieces too.

Being happy was such a waste of time.

“Vesela Koleda, Joseph!” Anka yelled from her spot at the table with Andrey nodding his head next to her. Joseph took that as him passing on his own merry wishes.

“Inside voice, Anka,” Tetíncho Yulian said. Anka merely batted her eyelashes in innocence.

“To you guys too,” Joseph said. Turning to his mother, he smiled “Hiya, mayko.”

She stared at him for few seconds; he knew that she could tell something was wrong. Plastering a smile on her face, she said “Hi, baby. Where’s your bashtá?”

“Here.”

Joseph jumped from his father’s voice behind him. How he was able to just get around without people noticing, Joseph would never understand. Turning, he looked into his father’s face. Of course, Joseph couldn’t actually read his blank expression.

“Vesela Koleda, Tetíncho!” Anka shouted as she jumped out of her chair, coming to hug him. She never seemed to get that his father didn’t actually really enjoy hugs. He didn’t enjoy people touching him in general. His Tetíncho’s face turned into one of displeasure from her shouting as he watched her.

Lightly hugging Anka back once she reached him, his father leaned down and murmured into Joseph’s ear “Talk with me outside?”

He couldn’t help but let his nerves take over. It wasn’t like his father could punish him in public but he was still afraid. But nonetheless, he said “’Kay.”

“We’ll be right back,” his father said to the table.

His mother looked between them in both worry and confusion. “You guys just walked in? Can’t it wait? I mean, you’re late as it is.”

Shaking his head, his father said “Order without us. Eat too if we’re not back yet. We’ll be back in a bit.”

“Okay,” she murmured. His Tétka was watching the exchange intently, eyes flicking from one person to the other.

Following his father out with his nerves about to explode, Joseph prayed that everything would turn out fine. He hoped his mother was praying too.

They walked in silence until they reached the car all over again. His father opened the back door and gestured for Joseph to go in. Biting his lip and sliding in, he scooted as his father followed suit and shut the door behind them. He waited while staring at his hands for his father to speak.

“I figured the quiet of the car would be better than anything else,” his father murmured. Joseph just sat in silence as he waited for him to continue. “I really missed you, you know. Being alone in the house was a sobering experience that I did not enjoy. I just missed the noise. Not that we really are noisy anyways but when I’d come home, there’d be you and mayko. Your presences were always good enough.”

Joseph still sat and didn’t say anything; it’s not like he knew what to say anyways. He fiddled with his gloves, waiting for his father to finish. He just wanted to go eat. Even though he probably wouldn’t eat that much anyways.

His father had his head in his hands, eyes probably closed. “I’m sorry I’m a shitty father. I really do try. I really do love you. I don’t know if you’ll believe me anymore right now than before but I swear, Joseph, I do. When me and mayko found you in the shower, the first thing I saw was blood and all I could think was that my kid was dead. That my beautiful brilliant boy was gone. But then you weren’t. You were okay and I couldn’t have been more thankful.” He paused and breathed in shakily. “But then I realized that while you’re alive, you haven’t been yourself in a long time. And as the days keep passing, my little boy just disappears more and more. Smiles are harder to come by and laughs are just foreign.”

He still didn’t know what to say. Joseph knew what his father was going for and what he was dying to hear out of Joseph’s mouth. But he didn’t know any more than earlier if he should say it or not. If he should wrap his arms around his father and tell him that he really did love him and that he knew he loved him too. That everything was okay between them.

It _was_ Christmas.

Breathing deep, Joseph made his decision. God better give him some points for taking the higher ground in this whole thing. If he wasn’t so worried about ruining Christmas for his mother, he would simply let his father simmer with thoughts of his son hating him. It’d be a nice experiment just to see how much his father actually cared.

Leaning across to his father, he wrapped his arms around his hunched form. He could feel the way his father stopped breathing, waiting to see what Joseph would do. Joseph rested his head atop his father’s and murmured “You’re not that bad, you know.”

Letting out another shaky breath, his father laughed “No?”

“Sometimes you’re totally awesome.”

“Only sometimes?”

Joseph thought for minute. “Not even superheroes can be awesome all the time, so… so I guess your level of awesomeness is pretty good.” He unwrapped himself as his father sat up and tilted his head, looking at him.

He settled himself into his father’s lap and hugged him around his stomach, pressing his face into his chest. His father embraced him close, placing his head on Joseph’s. “I’ll take pretty good,” he whispered. “But I’m gonna try and aim for a flat out good. Think I can do it?”

Telling him that no, he didn’t think he could, sounded both like a bad idea and cruel. His father wasn’t just going to magically change and be a different person. He was who he was – Ivo Kavinsky. The mobster, the bastard, and the abusive piece of shit.

That’d never change. But Joseph knew how good hope tasted.

“Dyádo always said that people can do whatever they want as long as they try hard enough. You just gotta try hard enough.”

His father was silent for minute, contemplating the words. Then, “I think I can try plenty hard. I think that maybe I can manage it. Maybe then you’ll like me better.”

Dying to just huff in frustration, Joseph wanted to explain for what felt like the millionth time that it wasn’t him who needed his feelings questioned. He loved his father and that was that. He was so incredibly conceded, it was ridiculous.

“Tatko, I love you. Stop saying that I don’t.” He sat straighter and held his father’s face in his hands. “I. Love. You. Stop having pity moments; it’s annoying.”

A huge smile conquered his father’s face and then he began to laugh. Taking Joseph’s hands in his own, he said “I can’t help it. I’m an asshole.” Kissing Joseph’s forehead, he murmured “I love you too.”

Hugging his father around the neck, Joseph said “I know.”

He was pretty sure he had just pulled off his first successful lie.

  

* * *

 

Vesela chewed her bite of eggs nervously. She was doing everything nervously – she couldn’t help it. Ivo and Joseph still weren’t back and that was bothering her. Something had obviously happened between them since she last saw them in the house. Joseph’s face had given that much away.

Taking a sip of juice, her eye caught with Nikol’s. Raising an eyebrow, she asked “What?”

Her older sister rolled her eyes and said “Don’t give me the ‘what.’ What’s wrong? And don’t tell me nothing, Vesela, I’m not an idiot.”

 _Well there goes that plan._ It really bothered her sometimes how perceptive her sister was. She had gotten it from their father; Nikol always knew when something was up. Especially when it had something to do with Ivo. She hated him since the day Vesela had shown up on her doorstep – bloodied, bruised, and in tears almost nine years ago.

There were a few things Vesela knew her sister would never forgive her father for – letting Vesela go back to Ivo that first time was one of them.

Shrugging as if there wasn’t a care in the world, she said “Just the normal. Joseph and Ivo. It’s nothing.”

“Just the normal. Joseph and Ivo,” Nikol mocked, careful to keep her voice low so her kids wouldn’t hear. Yulian flicked his gaze between them, watching the exchanging closely. He was always more than happy to have some kind of dirt on Ivo. “As if that’s not an issue by itself. The point of leaving was to teach him a lesson. Not to come crawling back and give him a merry Christmas.”

Taking another bite from her food, she murmured “I think he did learn something. He definitely felt the loneliness. And actually it was Joseph who didn’t want his father to be alone for the holiday. Which, I think, was very sweet of him.”

Huffing, Nikol said quietly “Sweet, yes. Smart, no. What worries me is that he’s learning from his mother that no matter how many times he’s kicked, it’s okay just to go back. It’s not, Vesela. The mi-”

“Can you just stop with the lecture?” She interrupted. “Worry about your own goddamn life and leave mine alone.”

“Before I didn’t have to worry as much because tate was around and kept an eye on that piece of shit you love. Now that he’s gone, it’s my job to watch out for you because you’ve become too stupid to do it yourself.” Taking a sip of her coffee, Nikol continued “You want to be an idiot and stay with that abusive bastard, then fine. You’re a grown ass woman, you make your own choices. But what you can’t do is stick Joseph into that hell you chose.”

Vesela just stared down at her plate, moving around the food with her fork. She hated when she had to listen to this. There wasn’t anything wrong with her life; most of it, anyways. And she would never deprive Ivo of Joseph – he was his son as much as he was hers. “Just worry about your own life,” she muttered.

“You’re such an idiot,” Nikol said, shaking her head. Sighing, she murmured “I say all this because I love you, Vesela. I love you and I love that adorable little boy.”

“I never said you didn’t,” she whispered. “But really, everything is fine.”

She turned to look at the door as the little bell above it rang when it was opened, hoping it was her men. It was but the sight wasn’t something she expected. Nikol’s face reflected the surprise Vesela was feeling.

Joseph was smiling as he was piggybacking on his father. Vesela had no idea when Ivo had ever given Joseph a piggyback ride. It was like an entirely foreign concept.

“Aw, do I get one next?” Anka bounced in her seat with hope. “Please, Tetíncho?”

Walking up to them, Ivo said “Uh no. Piggybacks are exclusive to my brat alone. Ask your father.”

Smiling to Vesela, Joseph laughed “I don’t think I’ve ever felt so tall. It’s amazing.”

Still struck into shock, Vesela just stared at the two in front of her. Recovering, she said “Fingers crossed, you’re gonna hit that growth spurt. Maybe you’ll be as tall as your bashtá.”

“Aw man, I hope so!”

“Goddamn, you and me both, brat,” Ivo laughed. “Reach at least like 5’ 10” and I'll call it a blessing.”

Turning to look at his father, Joseph asked “What if I end up taller than you?”

“Then we're going to throw a huge party. It'll be so huge, it'll be in the fucking news.”

“Ooh, so cool! I can't wait! Vesela stared in shock as Joseph actually _giggled;_ Nikol looked as amazed and shocked as she felt. “Something tells me, though, that I'll have to wait even longer for the party than my car.”

“Car?” Nikol inquired. Her eyes sparkled and were filled with delight by the fact that Joseph was actually happy.

Nodding excitedly, Joseph answered “Tatko said that when I get my license, I get to pick any of his cars that I want. Cool right?”

Laughing, Vesela replied “I guarantee you there’s at least one he won’t give away.”

Rolling his eyes as he lowered Joseph onto the chair beside Anka, Ivo said “There’s only a couple he can’t have. And that’s because they’re rare and classics. Not because I’m being stingy.”

“Ya, ya, whatever you say,” she smirked.

She couldn’t help but giggle like a school girl when he sat and pulled her into a kiss. Breaking away, he kissed his way up her jaw all the way to her ear and murmured “You taste wonderfully delicious, my lady.”

“My kids are sitting, Ivo,” Yulian griped.

“I worry for your kids, then, if they don’t know what love and affection looks like,” Ivo answered back. Picking up his fork, he stuffed a mouthful of pancakes in his mouth and swallowed. “There isn’t anything wrong with a child seeing that their parents love each other.”

“No, but there’s a line that shouldn’t be crossed in front of children.”

Ivo made a face of utter annoyance. “It’s not like we’re having sex at the table, Yulian.”

Watching as Yulian prepared another retort, Vesela murmured “Let it go, Ivo.”

Shrugging, he said “I’m just saying. Oh, that reminds me,” he turned to Joseph beside him who was carefully nibbling a piece of toast. “You’re sleeping in your room tonight. And also, it’d be good idea not to come to ours in the middle of the night. We’ll be busy.”

Vesela was pretty sure her face turned as red as Joseph’s did as he turned back to his toast and muttered “No problem.”

Nikol just shook her head and said “Why don’t you just announce to the rest of the restaurant your plans for the night while you’re at it?”

  

* * *

 

Joseph held the box his Tétka had given him tight in his lap. He couldn’t wait to open his presents. And to give his parents their gifts too.

“Did you see mayko’s face when we walked in?” His father asked as he drove them back home.

He couldn’t blame her; he was pretty sure his face had looked like that when his father asked if he wanted a piggyback ride. It was a long walk back, he had said. “Her and Tétka. You should offer piggybacks more often; being tall is awesome.”

“You think so? I don’t want to end up with back problems.”

“I’m sure you’ll be fine. I don’t exactly weigh much.”

Chuckling, his father replied “Very true. Definitely something we need to work on.”

Parking in the garage, Joseph jumped out eagerly with his box. His Tétka was generally pretty good at picking out stuff. He hopped by the door, waiting for his father to unlock it. They had beat his mother home – that much was expected with his father’s driving.

Walking into the house, Joseph turned to his father and asked “Do we have to still wait for mayko?”

“What do you think?” He answered as he slipped off his jacket and carefully placed Joseph’s mother’s gift on the little table near the connecting door. Yanking off his gloves, he hung his keys on the hook and took off his suit jacket and set it on one of the couches when he reached it, plopping down. Making himself comfortable where he lay, his father held out one arm and said “C’mere.”

Walking over, Joseph reluctantly placed his box on the coffee table and squished himself into his father, who dragged him up. Both of them were lying down, shoved on a couch not meant to fit them this way, waiting for his mother to come home.

It was actually nice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband


	59. Chapter 58

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> So obviously this chpt comes as a surprise as there was no plan to post it...but Hatty is back and asked for a welcome back gift. *Shrugs* I'm pretty bad at saying no to you guys. I end up feeling guilty. But don't like spring this on me often because one of these days I won't have a choice but to say no.  
> Then I'll spend my day feeling guilty. I really don't want to do that.  
> But if anyone ever has like an occasion and just absolutely needs a chpt (ie Hatty's welcome back gift) then... I can work miracles sometimes  
> SOMETIMES  
> Please don't murder or burden me with begging because then guilt really will eat me alive. Especially right now because my chpt surplus is gone because I haven't had a chance to type as much. I'm currently playing catchup.
> 
> No warnings. There's not even angst... But then, I guess since hell is on its way in little itty bitty increments, you guys deserve some happiness. I mean it is Christmas (in the story at least haha) Oh and I've just realized that I've never described how Venc actually looks? So I'm curious, how do you guys think he looks?
> 
> Enjoy and welcome back Hatty!

Walking into the house, Vesela was met with yet another surprising sight for her day. Ivo was on a roll apparently.

Setting the bags in her hands quietly on the island, she walked to the couch where Joseph and Ivo lay sleeping. She didn’t think she had taken that long to the point where they would actually fall asleep. She had stopped on her way home to get stuff because she remembered that the kitchen was probably empty.

She leaned a bit and placed a kiss on each one’s forehead. It was funny how neither of them had bothered to take off their shoes. Kneeling down, she undid the laces in Joseph’s and slid them off carefully; she didn’t want to wake him. Backing up, Vesela slipped off Ivo’s shoes too. Both of her men had been blessed with feet that never really smelled, thank God.

Standing up, she watched them sleeping soundly with their chests rising and falling, almost in sync. They looked so adorable. “Oh shit,” she whispered in excitement. “Perfect picture!”

‘Running’ back to her purse, she pulled out her phone and went back to them. She had to go about this as quick as possible; the picture would be ruined if someone woke up. Getting the angle she wanted, Vesela snapped the most amazing photo ever. _Now to set it as my wallpaper…_

Vesela smiled in delight at her new wallpaper. She’d make sure to put it on the laptop too. “Print it too,” she murmured to herself. “It’d look great on the dresser.”

Her eye caught on Joseph’s gift from Nikol. Time to prove a point. Turning back to her phone, she attached the picture to a text and typed her message.

_See??? Everything is fine. Stop worrying_

“Aand… sent.” She felt accomplished now. It was a nice feeling. _Really_ nice.

Going back to the kitchen, Vesela began putting away her groceries, waiting for Ivo and Joseph to wake up. By the time she finished and looked back at them, Ivo was looking at something on his phone while using the other hand to rub Joseph’s arm where he held him up.

Talking quietly so she wouldn’t wake Joseph who needed more sleep than anyone, Vesela murmured “Most people say hello, you know.”

“Hello,” he murmured, still distracted by his phone.

Obviously everything was fine between him and Joseph now, but she was dying to know what had happened in the first place. They had left the house in such good spirits. “Soo… Everything’s okay?”

His eyes flicked up to her. “We were working on figuring out whether we actually loved each other or not. I see it as unfair by the fact that you never have to have a conversation like that. It’s incredibly difficult.”

Fiddling with her hands nervously, Vesela ignored the last part and replied “And what did you guys figure out?”

“That I’m an asshole who has too many pity moments.”

She stared at him, speechless. No way Joseph would have actually said that. “Seriously?”

“Well, the asshole part was mine but he did say that I needed to get over myself. It’s annoying apparently,” he said, tossing his phone onto the table. They both cringed when it made a loud bang, startling Joseph awake, eyes filled with fear.

“Shit, my bad,” Ivo muttered, hugging Joseph close and calming him down. Joseph rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and looked towards the table, probably figuring out that it was just the phone.

Yawning, Joseph slid off the couch and stretched. “That’s okay,” he said tiredly. He smiled when he caught sight of Vesela. “Hi, mayko.”

“Good sleep?” She asked as she walked over, sitting on the floor beside him.

Nodding as he yawned once more, he murmured “Not bad, actually.” Rubbing his face once more, he asked “Can I open my presents now? I can’t take it anymore.”

Smiling, Vesela answered “Yes you can. I hope you like everything you get.”

“Yes!” He jumped up in delight, his beautiful brown eyes sparkling in excitement, sleep and tiredness long forgotten. Turning to his father, he said “Do you want to open my gift?”

“God fuck, I’d love to,” he replied, a smile on his face. Vesela couldn’t help but notice how his own eyes were actually bubbling with a little bit of excitement.

“Imma go get it!” Joseph yelled as he dashed to his room.

Turning to Ivo, she said quietly “I guess you guys came to the consensus that you love each other?”

“Yup,” Ivo said happily. “But according to him, I need to work on showing it better.”

Joy filled Vesela’s heart; the better her men got along, the better life would be. She was also surprised by the fact that Joseph had gotten into talking to his father more. He seemed more intent on making his feelings known to his father. She was pretty sure that was a good thing.

Little by little, they’d understand each other better.

  

* * *

 

Bouncing back to where his parents were, with Peanut, of course, trotting behind him, Joseph plopped his butt down beside his mother. Excitement was about to boil over in him right now. It felt so fantastic. God did he miss just basic joy.

His father sat himself up as Joseph handed him the box. “I really hope that you’ll like them.”

Smiling, his father began to unwrap the box. “I guarantee that I’m going to love whatever they are.” He watched as his father took the lid of and looked into the box, his nerves bubbling a little. _Please love them…_

Pulling out the book first, his father read the spine. “The Silmarillion, J. R. R. Tolkien. I don’t think I’ve read this one. I have heard about it, though.” He flipped it open, looking through the pages.

Joseph piped up. “It’s supposed to go before the other ones. This lady told me it’s kind of like a history book.” He bit his lip, “Do you like it?”

Dragging Joseph between his legs, he kissed him and said “I love it. And since you haven’t read it yet either, we can read it together at night when we get the chance. We’ll take turns reading to each other; I’ll read one night and you read the other. What do you think?”

Smile eclipsing his face, Joseph said in delight “That sounds great!”

“Fantastic,” his father said as he placed the book on the couch beside him. He pulled out the knife box next, popping off the lid. Lifting the knife and flicking it open, he murmured “This is beautiful.”

“It’s from an antique store. The owner told me all these facts about it but… I kind of don’t remember anything,” he finished quietly in embarrassment.

Laughing, his father replied “No worries. I love it regardless; no history necessary.” Hugging Joseph tight, he murmured “I love them, thank you.”

Hugging his father back, Joseph said “I’m glad you like them. You’re welcome.”

“You ready for your gift, mayko?” He asked looking over at her. “I couldn’t find anything to put it in, though…”

Beautiful smile upon her face, she laughed “That’s okay, baby. I’ll just close my eyes.”

“Make sure you close them tight,” he said as he went to get the jar off the table. “No peeking,” Joseph called behind him.

“Nope,” she laughed, hands over her eyes.

Grabbing the jar and walking back – being mindful not to shake it – Joseph sat in front of his mother. He placed the jar on the floor and said “Okay, you can open now.”

Removing her hands, his mother opened her eyes and looked down at the jar. Lifting it up, she smiled as her eyes glowed. “It’s beautiful, Joseph.”

“I couldn’t think of what to buy so I thought you’d like it if I made something instead.”

“I don’t just like it, I love it,” she replied. She held out an arm for a hug which Joseph was more than happy to fulfill.

His father laid back down and murmured “That sentence was so cliché… or cheesy. Whatever the right word is.”

Rolling her eyes, his mother said “No one asked.”

“Just saying.”

Joseph looked to his father in hope. “Can I open my presents from you now?”

Raising an eyebrow, he gestured the box on the table. “You don’t want to open your Tétka’s first?”

Shaking his head, he answered “Your’s first.”

“Drag the bag over here then and bring your mayko’s gift too.”

Jumping up excitedly, he was surprised when his mother grasped him by his shirt. Turning to his father, she said “And why don’t you just get your lazy ass up instead? He shouldn’t have to bring his own gifts. He brought you yours.”

Huffing, his father muttered “Because my ass is lazy.” But he got up regardless and went to his office, coming out a few seconds later with the bag and the little box. Walking back to them, he slipped the box into his pocket and set the bag in front of Joseph. Sitting across from him on the floor, he said “It’s only three things but… I think I did pretty good in picking.”

“I bet they’re great,” Joseph murmured as he stuck a hand in the bag. He could make it simple and simply stare into the bag, but he felt like it would ruin the surprise. Grasping a box, he pulled out a model car kit. Joseph enjoyed building things but this looked hard. “I love it, tatko, but I’m not sure if I can actually build a,” he checked the year, “1957 Chevy Bel Air.”

Smirking, his father replied “Okay, technically, that one is for both of us. I thought we could do it together.”

His mother started laughing. “You bought a gift for yourself. So in love with yourself, Ivo.”

“I bought a multi-recipient gift. Both Joseph and I get to enjoy it. I think it sounds pretty fair.”

Grinning, Joseph said “It’ll be fun! I think…” He looked closely at the box. “It looks really hard though…”

“Which is why it’s a team effort,” his father replied. “It’s been years since I’ve built one but I work on real cars, so this one shouldn’t be an issue.”

Placing the box to the side and sticking his hand back into the bag, Joseph pulled out a bucket of some sort. It was filled with plastic animals and things to go with them. He had mentioned a few months ago to his mother that he wanted more to go with the few that he had. His father had been on the phone telling someone that they were an idiot. Joseph didn’t think he had been paying attention.

“You actually remembered?” He asked curiously.

“My ears and memory are quite fine, thank you,” he said with a smile playing on his face.

His mother looked between them. “Remember what?”

“When I told you I wanted more animals to go with the ones I have?”

Her face looked entirely lost. “Uh… ya sure, I totally remember that.”

Giggling a little, he replied “Ya, okay.”

Putting the bucket next to the car, Joseph pulled out the last box. It had three books in it – “Warriors…” he trailed curiously. “I don’t think I’ve heard of these before.”

“I was at a bookstore and then that was on one of the tables in the main aisle. It’s got cats and fantasy. I figured I couldn’t go wrong with it. But that’s only the first three books of the series; the others didn’t come out yet.”

Ripping off the plastic, Joseph pulled out the first book and read the back. It did sound good. He couldn’t wait to actually start.

“A win or no?” His father asked.

Looking up to him, Joseph replied “Definite win, tatko. I love all of them.” Placing the books down, he walked on his knees to his father, throwing himself into him while wrapping his arms around his neck. “They’re perfect, thank you.”

Embracing back, his father murmured “Point for me then?”

“Three,” Joseph laughed. Pulling away, he dragged himself to the table and grabbed his Tétka’s gift. Settling on the floor he ripped off the paper and opened the box. That would explain why it was a little heavy. He pulled out not one or two or even three but _five_ books from his Tétka. He knew there was a reason he loved her.

“Someone was in a spoiling mood,” his father muttered.

With a huge grin on his face as he straightened his pile of Harry Potter books, Joseph said “I’m not complaining.” He pulled out the bin of Legos from the box in delight. More Legos meant bigger things to build. Maybe he’d build a barn for his new animals. “These are great.”

“Make sure you call he later and say thank you,” his mother noted.

“Duh, mayko.”

Rolling her eyes, she looked to his father. “So, where’s my present?”

“Technically, I didn’t buy you anythi-”

“Gee, thanks, asshole,” she interrupted.

Amusement glittering in his eyes, his father continued. “Let me finish. I didn’t buy you anything but I did _get_ you something. But buying wasn’t part of it. Plus, you didn’t get me anything.”

Smirking in amusement, his mother replied “I’m your present. But you have to wait ‘til night to receive.”

Joseph couldn’t help but blush. He wondered if it was better to have a prudish person like his Tetíncho Yulian or his parents who generally didn’t filter what they said in front of him.

His father bit his lip, a huge smile on his face. “Jesus, I don’t know if I can wait that long.”

“Well, you’re gonna have to.” She held out her hand, “My gift.”

Pulling out the box from his pocket, his father placed it in her hand. “You’re going to love it.”

She scrunched her nose as she looked down at the box. “You typically are a better picker. Jewelry is just jewelry.”

“I am both aware and have been told by your son.”

“That’s because my boy is smart,” his mother murmured as she pried the lid off. She froze, lid barely off when she saw what it was. Tears welled in her eyes as she placed the lid on the floor and pulled out his grandfather’s necklace. “They found it?”

“Yup. Raul gave it to me a couple days ago. I thought I couldn’t give you a better gift than that.”

Holding it tight in her hand, she pressed it to her heart as she began to cry. “Thank you, Ivo,” she cried. “I love it.”

  

* * *

 

He stood in Joseph’s doorway, waiting for him to take notice. But he seemed to be entirely engrossed in one of his new books. Ivo was hoping it was one of his and not Nikol’s. It sounded stupid but he couldn’t help it.

After five minutes, he realized Joseph was never going to look up. He kinda wanted to spook him but Ivo knew that Joseph wouldn’t think it was funny. “Joseph.”

“Hiya, tatko,” he murmured, still focused on his story. “I was wondering when you were going to say something.”

Ivo stared at his kid in surprise. He hadn’t made it seem like he knew that Ivo was standing. “Just watching. Anyways, I was going to ask if you wanted to come with me to go give Venc and Ivet their gifts. Venc’s birthday is in a few days, so I lumped Christmas and his birthday gift together. And mayko picked something for Ivet.”

“What’d you get him?” Joseph asked as he sat up, flipping his book over so he wouldn’t lose his page. Ivo couldn’t help but grin when he saw it was the first of the Warriors books.

“Come downstairs and see. I had it delivered to make our lives easier.”

Joseph looked at him in surprise as he slipped on his jacket, gloves, and beanie. “Is it big?”

“Ginormous, actually. But it’s his 18th birthday, so I felt like he needed something symbolic of manhood.”

Walking behind Joseph as he made his way downstairs, Ivo couldn’t help but get excited. Venc was going to freak when he saw it.

His brat looked around, expecting something in the house. “Uh, there’s nothing here.”

“It’s outside.”

“Outside?” Joseph asked. He pulled on his sneakers and stood by the door waiting for Ivo; he refused to go out by himself when it was dark. They had only recently conquered him taking out the garbage.

Opening the door, he gestured for his son to go first. Joseph jumped down the stairs but halted abruptly when he noticed what was on the street. “You bought him a car?!” He said incredulously.

“What do you think? Think he’ll like it?”

Joseph ran to the Corvette and ran his hand along it. “Aw, man, tatko… he’s gonna love it!”

Unlocking the car, Ivo got in with Joseph jumping into the passenger seat whose excitement was bubbling over. “This car is sooo cool!”

“I thought so too. I did think about just changing my mind and keeping it but the new one comes out in like a month or two. I’ll just get myself that one.”

  

* * *

 

“Thank you for having me,” Johanna smiled to his grandmother and Ivet. “It was a pleasure and a joy. The food was amazing.”

Ivet smiled in delight and translated for their grandma. Despite having been the country for so long, she still refused to learn English. Although, there were times Venc swore she understood what he said.

Especially when it wasn’t something he didn’t want her to understand.

His grandmother spoke to Ivet, then Ivet said “I’m glad you enjoyed it! Me and bába worked hard on it when Venc told us you were going to spend Christmas dinner with us.”

Laughing – Venc could feel his heart flutter from the way she laughed – Johanna replied “It showed. Everything was fantastic.”

“C’mon, I’ll walk you down,” Venc said. Looking to Ivet, he murmured “Be right back.”

Ivet giggled then murmured in Bulgarian “Don’t forget to kiss her goodnight.”

Blushing, Venc shoved his sister with Johanna watching them, eyebrow raised and a smile on her face. “Shut up,” he muttered.

Walking out and shutting the door, Venc once again thanked God for his luck in meeting Johanna. He was so lucky that such a pretty girl was actually interested in him. Everyone told him he was a looker but it didn’t mean anything if he couldn’t actually get a girl. Or a guy for that matter. But getting with a guy would mean so much secrecy and Venc felt like he didn’t want to have to go through that. Getting a girlfriend was way safer than a boyfriend. Especially because he literally spends twenty-four seven around Ivo.

He and Johanna had met in a coffee shop when he went to get coffee for himself and Ivo, a couple days before Lord Dobrev had died. He hadn’t told anyone except Ivet. And then Lord Dobrev had died and Venc had never found it appropriate to bring it up to Ivo.

He was gonna get it for that. From Lady Vesela too.

Pausing as he pulled out his phone when it vibrated, he read a text from his pain in the ass of a boss. Only when they were working though. All the other times, Ivo was his pain in the ass older brother.

_Come downstairs mofo_

Venc paused for a minute. _What the hell?_

Johanna turned and looked at him, a piece of her pretty brown hair falling into her eyes. “Venc?”

“Ya, ya coming.” He really hoped Ivo wasn’t outside. Telling him would be awkward, not to have to tell him while Johanna was actually standing.

  

* * *

 

 Joseph sat on the hood of the car beside his father. It was freezing under his butt, which in turn, made his butt frozen. He didn’t feel like getting up though. His father was tapping away on his phone as they waited for Venc.

He was about to call out to him when he saw Venc coming out of his building but then he noticed he was with someone. _No way…_

“Tatko, look. Venc is with a girl.” Joseph was surprised to say the least. Venc got nervous just talking to one, not to have invited one for Christmas. He had to have known her for a while to manage that. He had probably given himself pep talks in front of the mirror too.

His father snorted, still looking at his phone. “Bullshit.”

Laughing, Joseph said “No, seriously! Look!”

Picking his head up, his father muttered “No fucking way…” Slipping his phone in his pocket, he called out to Venc. “Venc, you piece of shit! Got a girl and didn’t even tell me? I am thoroughly hurt, motherfucker.”

Joseph watched as Venc and the girl halted in their tracks. Venc slapped a hand on his face as he shook his head. Trudging over to them with the girl behind him, Venc muttered as he came closer “Vesela Koleda to you too, ass.”

Rolling his eyes, his father stuck out his hand to the girl, “Ivo Kavinsky.”

Joseph noticed how the girl paused for moment as if thinking of something. After a moment, her face cleared and she took the hand that was offered. The girl smiled and said “Johanna Wolf, pleasure to meet you, sir.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband


	60. Chapter 59

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> The last of the Christmas chapters! Little by little, people's cracks are showing (*important*)  
> No update on Tuesday but I'll see you guys Thursday
> 
> _“For Christ’s sake, don’t make this hard. You need to go to school. That isn’t up for debate.”_

He felt someone nudging his shoulder. Groaning, Joseph pulled the blanket tighter around his head. Whoever it was, shoved his shoulder harder and started to giggle.

_Giggle?_

Slowly inching his head up out of the blanket little by little, Joseph peered his eyes out, glaring at the smiling face in front of him.

“Hi, Joseph!” Emilio said happily, his smile having long conquered his face, igniting his face into way excessive joy. “Merry Christmas!” Laughing, he said “Okay, so technically I’m a few days late, but still!”

Joseph glared at Emilio for few more seconds and making his decision, put as much as strength as he possibly could into himself.

And tackled Emilio to the floor.

“I took you down, son!” Joseph laughed in glee, sitting on Emilio’s chest who was still looking stunned.

Catching Joseph’s laughter, Emilio coughed out “Get off me before I die. You’re squishing my lungs to death.”

“Pft,” Joseph uttered while still sitting on Emilio, “Don’t be a liar. We both know I don’t weigh enough.” He let out a shout of surprise as Emilio suddenly threw him off.

Laughing, Emilio sat up with his pretty eyes sparkling. “Tackling me to the floor. Tsk, tsk, Joseph Kavinsky. Jerk move to do to your friend who came to wish you a merry Christmas. I am thoroughly ashamed.”

Smiling, Joseph replied “Nah, it was appropriate. You woke me up when I was actually getting some sleep. A rare occurrence; you should have just sat and observed one of the many wonders of the world.”

Joseph was surprised when Emilio blushed. _What is there to blush about? Something I said?_ He was almost tempted to ask when he heard his mother calling him from downstairs.

“Coming!” He shouted as he stood, walking to the bathroom to wash up. Looking to Emilio, who still had faint color to his cheeks, he said “You can meet me downstairs if you want.”

Shaking his head, Emilio said “No, it’s okay. I’ll wait. I don’t mind.”

Shrugging, Joseph walked into the bathroom and shut the door.

  

* * *

 

Emilio sat, waiting for Joseph to finish, humming as he did. He didn’t know if it would have been weird to explain to Joseph that Emilio thought that he really was one of the wonders of the world. To Emilio, he was the most amazing perfect person. Really something to look at too.

He did mentally slap himself though. It hadn’t occurred to him to just watch him sleep; to watch Joseph actually be relaxed and at peace. Since Joseph’s grandfather had died, it wasn’t something common, Emilio knew.

It really was a rare occurrence.

Or he could have curled up and took a nap next to him. Either way, Emilio missed out on a good opportunity.

Watching as Peanut walked into the room, Emilio stretched a hand out to her which she was more than happy to come to. There was nothing she loved more than petting. Except maybe eating. He dragged her into his lap as he listened to the toilet flush. His thoughts went back to Joseph; the vacation must have been fantastic. It had been awhile since he had laughed so carelessly. Or rather, it had been awhile since _Emilio_ had heard him laugh so carelessly. Maybe Joseph had in front of other people. Emilio didn’t think there was a high chance of that though.

Emilio looked up as the boy who owned his heart walked out of the bathroom. “I got you an awesome present, dude.”

A smile lit up Joseph’s face. “I bet I got you an even awesomer present. You’re gonna love it.”

He felt himself bubbling with excitement. He couldn’t wait to open whatever it was; Emilio was going to love it no matter what. “I can’t wait! But trust me, I picked the most amazing gift ever. I got something for Peanut too.”

Joseph laughed. “Seriously?” He asked. “Then she says thanks. She’s too rude to tell you herself.”

Carefully pushing Peanut out of his lap, Emilio replied “That’s ‘cause she’s a spoiled brat who expects things all the time.” His heart fluttered with glee when he earned yet another laugh. He was definitely getting really good at making Joseph smile and laugh.

A totally awesome talent to have.

“C’mon,” Joseph said as he walked out of the room. “I’m actually a little hungry. I need breakfast.”

Emilio couldn’t feel any happier as Peanut followed behind them.

  

* * *

 

Munching on his bagel, Joseph remembered that he hadn’t told Emilio yet about what he had found out a few days ago. “So I got some news.”

Emilio looked up from trying to cut his waffle, “Good news?”

“Shocking.”

Raising an eyebrow which Joseph had noticed he had picked up from his own family, Emilio replied “But good right?”

Laughing, Joseph answered “Yes, good. But shocking good. And it has to do with Venc.”

Scrunching his face in some thought, Emilio suddenly had a huge smile on his face. “He got a girlfriend, didn’t he.”

“Yup! Me and tatko met her on Christmas when we went to give Ivet and Venc their presents. She seems really nice.”

“What’s she like? Do you know anything about her?” Emilio took a gup of his chocolate milk and continued in his thug voice. Sounding thug was his new obsession apparently; Joseph wondered if he should jump on the wagon with him. “Gotta make sure she’s good enough for our homie, you know?”

Giggling – causing Emilio to brighten, Joseph said “Well, she’s German-”

Emilio interrupted as he laughed. “I bet your dad wasn’t thrilled about that.” He pointed as the front door opened with his father walking in, “Look, speak of the devil!”

Joseph turned and looked to his father and was about to say hello when he noticed the look on his father’s face. He definitely wasn’t happy about something as he slammed the door shut. His face was black with anger and something else. _Grief? Guilt, maybe?_

“Hey, Ivo,” his mother said carefully, examining him closely. Emilio’s mom was also watching keenly.

His father simply ignored her and trudged up the stairs after slipping off his shoes. They all sat in silence as they heard the bedroom door slam. Emilio looked to Joseph, his eyes and face filled with both concern and curiosity. Joseph just shrugged; he had no clue either.

Looking to his mother, he watched as she tried to decide whether it was better to go see what was wrong or just ignore his father.

“Go ahead. I don’t mind sitting,” Mrs. Vidal murmured. Nodding in thought, his mother got up a few seconds later and walked up to her room.

“Um, so,” Emilio tried to start. “She’s German?”

“Huh? Oh, oh. Ya, she’s German and her name is Johanna. She’s a year older than Venc and she does something really cool. Guess.”

“Hmm… Okay… Uh…” Emilio shook his head, trying to think of something. “Ya, I got nothing without some hints. I mean, she could literally do anything.”

Joseph was about to say ‘no hints’ when his father’s yelling stopped him.

“I CAN’T FUCKING DO IT, VESELA!”

He gnawed his lip with worry. His father wasn’t mad at him or his mother, that much he knew. It had to be work stuff. Whatever it was had him really mad and upset. It was even more uncomfortable than usual because Mrs. Vidal was sitting.

“FIVE PEOPLE. FIVE FUCKING PEOPLE DIED BECAUSE OF ME. BECAUSE I’M SO FUCKING STUPID AND AN ARROGANT BASTARD.” Joseph cringed when he heard something shatter as it hit the bedroom wall. Mrs. Vidal was probably going to have a good story for her husband tonight; he knew that Emilio wouldn’t tell.

He turned to the door when someone rang the bell. Joseph was pretty sure he knew who it was. Jumping off his chair, he went and opened the door for Venc, who simply gave Joseph a half smile. Letting him in, Joseph said “Upstairs. Mayko’s with him.” His mother must have calmed him down or something because now there wasn’t a sound.

“Oh, then I guess I’ll wait until she’s done.” Venc smiled when he caught sight of Emilio and Mrs. Vidal, “Hi, Mrs. Vidal. Hey Emilio.”

“Hi Venc, how are you?” Mrs. Vidal asked, smiling.

Walking to the dining table, he sat in the chair beside Joseph’s. Joseph followed and sat down. “I’m good, thank you.”

“Of course you are,” Emilio laughed. “You have a girlfriend now.”

They both laughed as Venc’s face filled with color. “Joseph, sometimes you have a big mouth,” he muttered.

“Oh puh-lease,” he scoffed, throwing himself on Venc, wrapping his arms around his neck. “I have to spread the good news. We’re all so proud and happy for you, Vencislav.”

“Even though she’s not Bulgarian,” Emilio added.

Rolling his eyes, Venc said “I don’t have to be with a Bulgarian, you know.”

“Congratulations, Venc,” Mrs. Vidal said from her spot on the couch. “I bet she’s wonderful.”

A huge smile covered Venc’s face. “She’s amazing.”

“So what’s she do? Joseph said it’s something really cool,” Emilio mumbled around a mouthful of waffles.

Another smile eclipsed Venc’s face. “She’s training to be an MMA fighter. She kicks some serious ass.”

Emilio stopped munching mid-chew. “Wait, seriously? Like, she fights?”

“Yup.”

“Well, then,” Mrs. Vidal interrupted with a laugh. “Don’t get her angry, she’ll beat you to a pulp.”

“All women should beat men to a pulp sometimes,” his mother muttered as she came down the stairs. They all watched her, questions in everyone’s eyes. She looked to Venc, “He’s all yours. Good luck and don’t step on the broken glass by the door.”

Venc sighed as he stood, making his way up to Joseph’s father. Joseph could tell he was nervous; he didn’t blame him. Even if the anger wasn’t towards them, it somehow always managed to get aimed right at them.

Taking another bite from his bagel, Joseph turned his attention back to Emilio. “So what’d you get for Christmas?”

Emilio bounced in his seat, excitement bubbling over. “Something way cool. Guess.”

“Hmm,” Joseph worked his brain’s gears trying to decide. “Some really awesome toy?”

“Way vague and general, dude. Get specific.”

“So it’s a toy?”

Emilio tilted his head for minute, thinking. “Well, kinda.”

Huffing, Joseph muttered “Just tell me. I hate guessing.”

“You wanted to make me guess about Johanna.”

Rolling his eyes, Joseph said “Okay, my bad. Now tell me.”

Once more bouncing, Emilio said “I got a bike! Cool right?”

 _Why did I never think of asking for a bike?_ Taking a sip of his juice, he said “That is cool. Do you know how to ride one? I don’t.”

A look of surprise took over Emilio’s features. “You don’t? I can teach you if you want. You should come over so you can try it.” He scrunched his face, surprise still evident. “Your dad never taught you? Mine did.”

Joseph shrugged. “No, he didn’t. It just never came up, I guess. I’ve never even thought of asking for a bike. I own a scooter though.”

“Then Imma teach you. I charge twenty bucks an hour, Mr. Kavinsky. And you can’t refuse lessons; you must accept,” Emilio said, trying his best to sound serious but ended up giggling all the way through his sales pitch.

Smiling, Joseph said “Ya, I don’t think so. First, I’m definitely not paying twenty dollars an hour for bike lessons-”

“Hey, hey, that’s a friend discount,” Emilio interrupted.

“Uhuh, okay,” Joseph muttered, while rolling his eyes. “I should get it for free.”

Emilio blushed as he murmured extremely softly, “I’d give you anything for free.”

He stopped mid-chew, his mouth still open. Shutting it quickly, he thought about that sentence. Sometimes, Joseph really felt like Emilio was talking about something else entirely and that there was something he was missing in their conversations.

Like right now.

“Cuz, you know, were best friends and stuff!” Emilio suddenly added in. “Because that’s what friends do.”

“Um, ya. Right…” Joseph trailed. He knew there was something else. This was just weird. He looked to the stairs when he heard footsteps. Two sets.

Venc came down first, smiling to Emilio and Joseph. His father came next but there was no greeting smile. He still didn’t look okay. His father sat on the last step as he stuffed his feet back into his shoes, ignoring everyone around him. Joseph decided to take a chance. Maybe he’d be able to put a smile on his father’s face.

Five people was probably a huge weight.

Getting off his chair, Joseph walked slowly to his father, his nerves on end. He was surprised he hadn’t bit into his lip yet. Reaching his father who was just sitting and staring at the floor now, Joseph sat beside him. Calming his panicking heart, he reached over and hugged his father as tight as he could. His father rested his head on Joseph’s, still not saying anything.

Biting his poor abused lip, Joseph murmured “How come you never taught me to ride a bike, tatko?”

His father pulled away and turned to look at Joseph, a smile trying to come through. “Shame on me,” he said quietly.

“Emilio got a bike for Christmas. Mr. Vidal already taught him how to ride it.”

Emilio nodded, his knees on the seat of the chair as he was facing backwards and resting his arms on the top of the chair. “It’s really cool, Mr. Kavinsky. I bet you’d like it; it’s black.”

The little smile trying to be born upturned a corner of his father’s mouth. “Anything black is totally cool.”

“Red is cool too. Or a really nice dark blue,” Venc added. “Dark purple is totally kickass too. I think I’m gonna get my car painted one of those.”

His father turned his head to Venc, “Something wrong with the black I picked?”

“Wait, you got him a car?” Emilio asked in disbelief.

Sounding a tiny bit more like himself, his father answered “I got him a Corvette for Christmas and technically his birthday. One big present instead of two.”

Emilio’s eyes were saucers. “Mr. Kavinsky?”

“What.”

“When I can drive, will you buy me a car too?”

“Emilio,” his mother chastised from where she was sitting, having caught what Emilio said.

“But he bought Venc a car! And he’s definitely gonna get Joseph one. I’d want an awesome car too. I don’t wanna be left out…” Emilio ended, scrunching his face in disappointment.

His father was silent for minute when he said “When you turn eighteen, I’ll buy you a car. How’s that sound?”

His face brightened by a thousand times. “Really, Mr. Kavinsky?”

“Ivo, that really isn’t necessary,” Mrs. Vidal called. “When the time comes that he drives, we’ll worry about it then.”

“But-” Emilio despaired.

“Emilio.”

Huffing and looking extremely disappointed, Emilio closed his mouth, despair evident in his movements.

Kissing Joseph, his father stood and walked to Emilio, fluffing his hair when he reached him. “Promise from me,” he murmured. “You get that car when you hit eighteen.”

Joseph couldn’t help but brighten along with Emilio who whispered “Ya?”

Lightly pushing Emilio’s head with his fist, his father said “Promise.”

Smiling huge, Emilio laughed “You’re totally the best, Mr. Kavinsky.” Stretching himself, he wrapped his arms around Joseph’s father’s waist, hugging him tight.

His father went stiff, staring down at Emilio. “Emilio,” he murmured.

“Ya?” He asked titling his head up to look Joseph’s father in the face.

“Why do you always have to hug?” His father was still extremely stiff, his arms awkward on his sides. Joseph thought that maybe his father didn’t feel like forcing himself to hug back at the moment.

Looking confused, Emilio let go and said “Because hugs are awesome.”

“I don’t really like hugs.”

Shock filled Emilio’s face. “Seriously?” Scratching his head, he said “Um, then I’m sorry when I hug you if it makes you uncomfortable.”

Smoothing his shirt, his father murmured “Maybe just not so many hugs would be good.”

“Oh, okay.” He smiled then and laughed “How about one hug a month? I think that’s a pretty good rate.”

Laughing, Joseph’s eye caught on a bag in the living room. “Is that mine?” He asked, interrupting the conversation.

“Huh?” Emilio uttered.

Joseph pointed to the bag. “Is that my totally awesome gift?”

Bouncing off the chair, Emilio dashed to it and ran back, excitement about to explode. Sitting in front of Joseph, he pushed the bag to him, exclaiming “Yes! You’re so gonna love it!”

“Hold up, Imma go get yours. We’ll open them together,” Joseph said as he stood and dashed up the stairs. Running into his room, he slid his closet door open and grabbed Emilio’s gift. Speeding back to his friend, Joseph placed the box in front of him. “I think you’re going to really like it.”

“I bet,” Emilio smiled. “On three?”

Smiling, Joseph answered “Yup. One, two,” both boys readied their hands. “Three!”

Joseph took out all the tissue paper as Emilio ripped the wrapping paper, both of them exclaiming in delight when they saw what they each got.

“This is so cool!” Joseph placed his remote control Lamborghini on the floor beside him and scooted closer to Emilio, giving him a hug. In his best imitation of Emilio’s not so great imitation of a thug voice, Joseph said “Like legit, totally sick, bruh. Thanks.”

Pulling away, Joseph was amazed that Emilio’s skin could actually get that red. Brushing his hair out of his eyes, Emilio smiled with eyes sparkling “I’m really glad you like!” Opening his crime scene kit, Emilio laughed “I’m gonna be an even better cop than my dad! Thanks so much!” Blushing once more, Emilio murmured something Joseph didn’t catch. But he felt like he might have heard ‘hug you again.’

“What?” He asked. But Emilio just shook his head. Moving on, Joseph laughed “I know, I’m amazing at picking things.”

With his face literally shining, Emilio stuck out his fist and said “Put it here, my brother.”

Shaking his head and laughing, Joseph bumped fists with his homie. His father came walking to them from the kitchen, munching on something. He still looked really upset but he seemed a little better.

Shaking his head as he walked to his office, his father muttered “You two are the saddest gangsters ever.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband


	61. Chapter 60

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> Uhh...nothing to say today I think? Or at least I can't think of anything...
> 
> Just enjoy I guess  
> Oh actually warning for Vesela being a bitch and Nikol being super awesome
> 
> _“The fun, she says.”_

“Joseph,” his mother murmured. She nudged Joseph a bit in the shoulder, “Baby, wake up. You need to get ready.”

“Get ready for what?” He mumbled, still covering himself with the blanket. He didn’t remember anyone saying they had to go anywhere important today. He had barely fallen asleep after a long, horrible, and restless night. Joseph just wanted some rest for once – his nights were getting worse with the passing days.

“School. C’mon, up you go.”

That woke him up. He forgot that his mother had told him he had to start going to school again yesterday. It had been back in session for a month now; some days had been closed because of the snow though. He had managed to convince his parents to give him a little more time before he had to go back.

His time was up.

But he wasn’t going. No way.

Curling tighter, he said “I’m not going.” He clutched the blanket tight as his mother tried to get the blanket off his face. “No.”

“Joseph,” she huffed. “Baby, you’ve already missed a lot of school. You need to go back.”

“No.” He clutched his blanket even harder despite that the air underneath was getting stuffy. He’d handle it until she left. His mother was stubborn but he was the combination of both her and his father’s stubbornness.

When it came to being stubborn, Joseph was a force to be reckoned with.

“Joseph,” she said firmer. “Get up.”

“No.”

“For Christ’s sake, don’t make this hard. You need to go to school. That isn’t up for debate.”

“I said no.”

“Joseph Kavinsky, get up.” He could tell she was starting to get mad; he could hear it in her tone. The use of his last name was also a very good indicator. It always was.

“It’s still a no,” Joseph muttered. “Using my last name isn’t going to make a difference.” He could feel her yanking on the blanket but there was absolutely no way she was going to get him to go to school. “No!” He yanked back but she managed to get the blanket away.

Joseph looked into her incredibly annoyed face as she tossed the cover to the side. “Get. Up.”

Rolling his eyes, he stuck out his tongue and replied “No.”

Fury filled her eyes. Frustration too. Throwing her hands up, she yelled as she walked out of the room, “I mean, why is he going to be any different from his bastard of a father?” Suddenly popping up in his doorway again, she shouted “Fine, don’t go. But you get to spend your day today, alone, sitting at home. And you can deal with your father tonight when you tell him why your ass didn’t go to school. You two can deal with each other. Not my problem.” She walked off, anger in every one of her steps as she slammed her bedroom door shut.

He stared at where she stood only a minute ago in shock and panic. Alone? She couldn’t be serious. Jumping out of bed, he rushed to her room and knocked on her closed door. “Mayko, y-your joking, right? You’re not gonna leave me by myself for real?” He got a little nervous when he received no answer. Knocking again, he called “Mayko?” Joseph jumped when her door was yanked open, his mother’s pretty face filled with annoyance.

“Yes, alone, Joseph. You don’t want to go to school, then you stay here.”

He bit his lip in worry. “B-but where are you going?”

“I’ve got shit to do. I can’t drag your sorry ass around with me. So school or home. Pick one.”

“Can I go to Tétka’s?” He asked nervously.

His mother’s face hardened. “No. And no Mrs. Vidal either.”

Tears welled in his eyes. This wasn’t fair. “B-But-”

“No, Joseph. I gave you your options. Pick one.”

Biting his lip and wiping his tears, he murmured “Why are you being mean?”

His mother huffed in some mixture of all her emotions at the moment. “You can’t be a little scaredy bitch forever. Forget school. You’re staying home. Grow some balls for once.”

“B-But! Mayko!” There was no way he’d survive being alone. He hadn’t been alone in almost a year; there was just no way in this entire world that Joseph was going to stay by himself. He followed her into her room as she went to finish getting ready, slamming the bathroom door in his face. “Mayko!”

“Fuck off, Joseph,” she said through the door. “You picked no school, so no school. It doesn’t mean you get to go out and have fun.”

Bouncing on the balls of his feet in frustration, Joseph whined “Okay, but can’t I go to Tétka’s house and stay with her? Or maybe she can come here? I don’t wanna be alone.”

“No,” his mother said firmly as she opened the door and walked out. She was already dressed and ready. Someone was in a rush, apparently.

And fancy.

For some reason, that made Joseph nervous. It wasn’t like his mother didn’t dress nice normally but this seemed different. His stomach felt a little jittery from worry.

He had bothered to actually look up in the dictionary what a whore was. His father had said it so many times that Joseph had needed to know what it meant. How it was that his father saw his mother every time he was angry.

Forgetting his own predicament for the moment, he asked nervously “Um, mayko… Where are you going?”

She looked at him for a couple seconds as she started to do her makeup in front of the mirror. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll be back in some hours though.”

“Why are you dressed up, though?”

Her annoyance came back with a vengeance. “Am I not allowed to dress up for myself?”

Something told him he was treading into dangerous territory. Playing with the hem of his shirt and looking down, Joseph murmured “Nevermind. Have fun.” He walked out of her room so she could finish getting ready.

Despite her saying she dressed up for herself, Joseph was pretty sure that his mother was actually fancying up for someone. Throwing himself back into his bed, face smashed into his pillows, he prayed it wasn’t a man.

He didn’t think his father would let her get away with it again.

  

* * *

 

Vesela’s nerves buzzed as she grabbed her purse and walked to Joseph’s room to let him know she was going. She felt guilty that she was leaving him by himself; she had thought that he would actually be convinced to go to school when she had said it. He already missed way too much, anyways. The school was threatening to make him repeat third grade from how much he missed of the school year.

Standing in his doorway, she said “Okay, I’m going. Come lock up.”

Dragging himself out of bed and looking like a complete mess, Joseph walked in front of her to the door. Grabbing her keys, Vesela leaned down and kissed her son’s head. “I won’t be too long. I promise.”

“Whatever,” he whispered.

God was he going to make her feel guilty. Hugging him, she opened the door and walked down the stairs to her car. “Don’t answer the door un-”

“Ya, ya, I know,” he interrupted sullenly. He whispered something that she really hoped she had heard wrong as he shut and locked the door behind her.

Getting in, Vesela prayed that she had heard him wrong. Then she just might have a problem on her hands. Breathing deep and calming her panicking heart, Vesela laughed at her foolishness.

There was no way Joseph had said to have fun with him.

Laughing nervously, she joked “Don’t be stupid, Vesela. There’s no way…”

  

* * *

 

Joseph huffed as he stood and looked around the empty house. It was way too quiet to the point that it was already freaking him out. “Peanut!” He called out so she could eat her breakfast. He’d have to put something for himself too. His appetite was long gone but he had to take his stupid medicine.

He stopped in his tracks. Joseph was beyond mad that his mother had actually just left him by himself. For some man too. Well, he didn’t _know_ that she was going to be with some guy but it was a nasty assumption eating at him. Joseph felt like his assumption was a good one.

Biting his lip, Joseph thought about doing something to make her feel guilty as he spooned some cat mush for Peanut in her plate. She pawed and meowed at him eagerly, waiting for her breakfast. His father had told him one time that he felt sick because he hadn’t taken his medicine yet.

Maybe he’d just make himself sick to make her feel bad. He just wouldn’t eat and not take his medicine then. What was the worst that could happen?

Making his decision, he cleaned up after Peanut and went back upstairs, throwing himself into his bed. Joseph huffed when he had to stretch to grab his blanket off the floor and throw it on himself. Maybe he’d get lucky and sleep the day away. Closing his eyes, Joseph waited with hope for sleep to take him.

  

* * *

 

Nikol parked her car on the street in front of Vesela’s house. Getting out, she remembered the bag she had brought and stretched back in, yanking it to her. She walked up the stairs and rang the bell as she pressed the remote to lock her beemer.

Getting no answer, she rang again and waited. _Maybe I should’ve called first? She doesn’t usually go out now, though._ Nikol was about to ring again when she heard Joseph’s voice. _Why is he home? Vesela said she was sending him to school today._ Confusion filled her brain.

“Who is it?” Joseph asked through the door.

“Tétka, dork. Open up.”

She was definitely surprised by the amount of excitement in his voice when he exclaimed “Hi, Tétka! Hold up, I gotta get my stool. I can’t reach the top chain.”

Listening as he unlocked the seven locks on the door, Nikol smiled to her adorable nephew when he opened. His face was lit with a smile but he looked like a mess. He was little pale and sweaty too. “Hey you,” she smiled as she walked in and shut the door behind herself. Nikol smothered him in a hug which he happily returned, nice and tight.

“Hiya,” he murmured into her. He seemed a little subdued too.

Crouching, Nikol smiled and asked “Where’s mayko at? Shower?”

Surprise filled her when Joseph shook his head and answered “No, she’s not home.”

“Oh, then your bashtá is home?” If he was, she’d make her visit super short. Nikol hated dealing with him.

Joseph shook his head again, biting his lip as he did. “All by myself today.”

Nikol looked at her nephew in confusion. _Alone? What the hell?_ “So, she had to grab something quick then?”

He shook his head once more and whispered “She said she’ll be back in some hours.”

“What?” Nikol exclaimed in shock. Was Vesela out of her mind leaving him by himself?

Her nephew shrugged, depression filling his face as he looked down. “She said I can’t be a little bitch forever.”

“That bitch,” she hissed under her breath. How she could leave a child who was afraid of his own shadow by himself, she had no idea. A boy who already had enough traumatizing experiences to last him a lifetime. Her sister couldn’t be that stupid. And for that matter, those types of things should never be said to a child.

“When you said it was you, I thought she felt bad and ended up telling you to come. ‘Cuz I had asked her if I could go to you or if you could come and she said no.”

Huffing in complete annoyance at her sister’s stupidity, Nikol put a smile on her face for her nephew and tilted his head up. “No problem, Joseph. I’ll stay ‘till she comes.”

Delight filled his features. “Really?” He threw his arms around her neck and murmured “You’re the best.”

Wrapping him in her arms, she kissed his hair and replied “Me and you haven’t had a day together in a long time. Today will be loads of fun.” Leaning back, she examined him for a minute. “Are you sick? You don’t look very good.”

He shrugged. “Nothing, I’m fine.”

Nikol had Andrey back at home who was a very talented liar. Reading Joseph was like looking at a picture book. “Joseph.”

Fiddling with his fingers, he mumbled “I haven’t taken my medicine yet. That’s all. No big deal.”

Sighing, she stood and took Joseph’s hand in hers as they walked over to the stairs to go to Vesela’s bathroom. “Jesus, Joseph, you know better than that. It’s already noon, I’m surprised you’ve lasted as long as you have without being incredibly sick,” she said as they climbed the stairs and walked down the hallway.

“I’ve thrown up three times already, actually.” He walked into his parents’ room as Nikol stood in the doorway. She didn’t like to go into places she wasn’t invited into.

“Not something to sound like you’re proud of,” she muttered to herself. She felt like Joseph had done it on purpose. Probably to get back at Vesela.

He came out of the bathroom holding the bottle of antidepressants in his hand. She wondered if he knew that they were more than just anxiety pills. Her nephew was smart; there was no way he hadn’t bothered trying to find out what he was actually taking.

It incredibly bothered her when Vesela told her what the doctor had put him on. She didn’t think it was safe to put a then seven year old on antidepressants. Vesela had told her not to worry; it was her child, not Nikol’s. She apparently needed to stop sticking her nose in every single damn thing.

Nikol didn’t understand how she wasn’t supposed to worry. She loved Joseph like he was one of her own. And she hoped that Vesela loved Andrey and Anka like they were hers. Nikol didn’t hold out too much hope though.

Her idiotic sister barely tolerated the beautiful child she had been blessed with.

He clutched his shirt at his stomach, halting in his steps. His face churned as he dropped the bottle and put a hand on his mouth. Turning to run back to the bathroom, Nikol cringed when he doubled over and threw up on the floor.

Not quite making it to the bathroom.

 _Dammit… he was soo close too._ She sighed as she walked to him, trying her best not to gag on the smell. It was mostly on the floor but the rest was all over him. She had both a floor and a child to clean up.

Rubbing his back where he crouched, she murmured “Got it all out?”

Joseph nodded as he sat back on his butt, looking even worse than before. The poor thing looked so goddamn miserable. He looked like he was on the verge of tears too. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled, his voice wobbling with the oncoming tears.

“What on earth are you sorry for, Joseph? It’s not an issue; you couldn’t make it. No biggie.”

The tears started flowing as he cried “For being such a stupid mess.”

“What?” Nikol stared confusedly at her nephew. She planned on giving Vesela hell when she came home. The only time a child would feel like nothing was if someone made them feel that way. The fact that her sister would make her child feel like that dumbfounded her. It wasn’t something Nikol would have ever expected of her.

Sitting beside Joseph, ignoring the vomit at their feet and all over him, Nikol hugged him tight. Rubbing him in what she hoped was comfort, she murmured into his hair “There’s nothing wrong with you, sweetheart. You’re far from stupid; you’re absolutely brilliant. And you’re my amazing adorable nephew.” She held his face in her hands, leveling his tear-streaked face with her’s. “You’re an amazing little boy, Joseph. I love you so much, you have no clue. This house can’t even contain the amount of love I have for you.”

“That’s ‘cuz you see me once in a while. You don’t live with me. I-I’m just a worthless nothing that nobody actually wants.” He hiccupped on his tears, removing her hands and looking down. “T-That nobody w-will ever want.”

She cursed both her sister and her bastard a thousand times over in both English and Bulgarian. Goddammit, she wished she knew more languages. Two wasn’t enough at the moment. What kind of hell her sister and Ivo put Joseph through daily, Nikol had no idea. But it was enough for Joseph to think he was just shit to be stepped on.

No child should ever feel that. _No_ _person_ should ever feel that.

And yet her sister made Joseph feel it enough where he actually believed it.

“Look at me,” she tilted his head up, not caring or registering the vomit now on her. “I love you. I want you. And don’t you ever believe otherwise.” Hugging him once more, she said into his little ears “Go on and take a shower. I’ll get you some clean clothes and clean this up.”

Hiccupping as he nodded, Joseph pulled away and trudged to the bathroom. She waited until she heard the shower turn on and the door of it close to get up off the floor. She wasn’t exactly sure where her bitch sister kept her cleaning stuff but if they thought the same, there was probably some under the sink in the kitchen.

Vesela was going to get worse than hell when she came home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband


	62. Chapter 61

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> Uh no update Tuesday...again. Really sorry. I'm still working on playing catchup  
> BUT Hatty and BSymph have both voted for a snapshot of when Nikol and Vesela fight (it's not included in the actual chpt) so that'll be coming up
> 
> Enjoy!  
> P.S. The Venc snapshot I promised about his sexuality and stuff is a wip. I haven't forgotten ;)
> 
> _“Not because I don’t trust you or anything. But because…because I don’t want you to have to worry. You’re too little to have to put up with stress and stupid worries.”_

Washing off the last of the soap, Joseph shut off the water and stood in the now chilling air. He breathed in deep and let it out super slow, steadying himself as best as he could. Breaking down in front of his Tétka wasn’t something he hadn’t meant to do but he couldn’t help it.

Joseph knew that he probably just created some issues. He was definitely in trouble with his mother.

Opening the shower door, Joseph grabbed the towel and wrapped himself up. There were no clothes though. Letting out a sigh, he walked to the bathroom doorway and stuck out his head as his Tétka came walking back into the room with clothes in her hand. He looked to the floor and was relieved in seeing it nice and clean. He did feel bad that she had to clean it; definitely wasn’t a pleasant moment for her.

“Sorry,” she smiled, walking over to him. “I got excited by the fact that I actually get to dress you. I couldn’t decide.”

He shook his head in amusement. “Tétka, I’m sitting at home. What possible dressing up do I need?”

“Ya,” Tétka Nikol sighed. “Really limited my choices.” She handed him the clothes in an almost disappointment in her choices. “I really wanted to put you in this awesome outfit I put together.”

“Next time,” he laughed, taking the clothes from her. It took her a minute to let go which surprised Joseph. _Weird…_

He walked out after getting dressed to his Tétka sitting on the bed, holding one of the frames from the dresser. Tears were slipping down her face. Sitting himself next to her, she wrapped an arm around him and kissed his head, pulling him into her. Joseph felt as his own silent tears trickle down his face as he looked at the last picture he had taken with his grandfather.

“He’s in a better place now, baby,” his Tétka whispered. Steadying herself, she kissed Joseph once more and stood, replacing the picture where it belonged. In a much stronger voice, his Tétka said “C’mon. Let’s go eat. You haven’t yet.”

Wiping his tears, Joseph stood and walked over, taking her hand in his as they walked out to go eat.

  

* * *

 

Nikol watched as Joseph munched on a mini pizza. She was waiting for him to finish so he can go wash his hands. He’d have to roll up his sleeves to make sure they didn’t get wet.

Then she’d double check what she thought she saw. God did she hope that she was mistaken.

But she knew she wasn’t.

There was no way Nikol was going to leave Joseph in this house. No way in hell. The minute he finished eating, she’d pack him a couple things and take him with her.

He deserved better than hell.

Looking up from his pizza, he smiled when they caught gazes. Smiling back, she asked “So not ready for school yet, huh?”

Her nephew shook his head as he took another tiny bite. “No rush,” he murmured.

“Don’t you miss it?”

“I miss the learning and the library but that’s all. It’s not like there’s anything else.”

Resting her chin in her hand, she said “There’s the experience. Being around people. The fun.”

He scrunched his nose in distaste. “Ya, okay. The experience of being made fun of. Then there’s being around people who don’t like me or think I’m an idiot. And there’s no such thing as fun when everything is combined into one horrible experience.” He snorted sarcastically, “The fun, she says.”

She stared for a minute at the little boy in front her. He was Ivo and there was no way around it. Joseph didn’t just look like his father, he acted like him too. Little by little, her nephew was becoming something she didn’t expect of a child.

Bitter. He was only eight and he was bitter and hated the world and everything in it.

The only ones she blamed and would ever blame were Vesela and the man she constantly believed to be worth her time.

Swallowing his last bite and downing his pill, Joseph slid off his chair and walked to the sink. Bouncing up herself, Nikol followed as he was about to push his stool to wash his hands.

Goddammit he was adorable.

Coming up behind him, she lifted him so he could reach the sink. Huffing, he muttered “I got it, you know.”

“One day you’re going to be too big for me to carry. I’m taking advantage now.”

“Pft. I’m not growing anytime soon,” he grumbled as he rolled up his sleeves revealing what she was afraid to see.

The scars were more or less faded. A couple closer to his wrist were still glaringly apparent. Vesela generally told her things that happened with Joseph; she seemed to have failed to mention this though. The scars were old so it had to have been sometime since her nephew decided that cutting himself was necessary. _But when?_

What she also noticed were some freshly scabbing scratches along his arms. They could be accounted to Peanut but Nikol felt like Joseph made sure that they only _looked_ that way. That way if anyone ever questioned, all he had to do was attribute them to his pet cat.

“Uh, Tétka?” Joseph questioned, waiting for her to put him down after finishing.

“Oh, sorry.” Letting him down, Nikol watched as he walked to dry his hands. She had no clue when Vesela planned on coming home but they were going to leave before then. “Joseph?”

“Hmm?” He turned, curiosity sparkling his beautiful eyes.

“Can you go pack a couple things? A couple shirts, pants, jeans and stuff? Like maybe for a few days’ worth?”

Surprise ignited his face. “Why?”

Walking over to him, she crouched down to his level. “I’ve got a better way to get back at mayko then making yourself sick.”

He blushed, probably surprised and embarrassed that she knew why he didn’t take his medicine. “It’s okay, Tétka, forget it.”

“Lemme handle this one. Go on and grab somethings.”

Gnawing his lip, he stared at her for a while longer before nodding. “But what about Peanut?”

“She’ll be fine. Your bashtá did a good job last time.”

Nodding again, he murmured “Okay. Um, can I bring my stuffed animals and my night light?”

“Of course! Anything you like.” She smiled to the nervous wreck in front of her. “You can bring an entire damn suitcase of stuff if you want.”

Nikol got a small laugh at that as Joseph trotted up the stairs to his room. “Don’t take too long!” She called after him. Hopefully, Ivo wasn’t coming home anytime soon either. She wanted Vesela to come home first.

And not find her child.

  

* * *

 

Stuffing in a pair of jeans after the couple of shirts he already put in, Joseph thought about what he was doing. Was it actually a good idea? Yes, he was mad at his mother and yes, he wanted to get back at her. But Joseph felt that maybe his Tétka was taking this a little too far. Making his mother come home and not find him seemed like cruelty, not payback.

He ran his teeth on his lower lip back and forth as he thought about what consequences might happen from this whole endeavor. One, his mother would have a panic attack in not finding him. Two, she’d be so guilty and probably hate herself while thinking that someone snatched him again. Three, she’d get in huge trouble with his father if he were to find out before his mother was to realize that Joseph was at her sister’s house. And four? Four was a huge deal.

Four was that _he_ would be in huge trouble. Joseph would be in so much trouble with her that she might actually take a page out of his father’s book and hurt him. She’d never done it before but it didn’t mean that she wouldn’t. Anything was possible.

Nonetheless, he continued his packing. Joseph was stuck in such an awkward position and he had no clue what to do besides for what his Tétka told him to.

He’d just have to wait and see what was going to happen. Hopefully – and Joseph prayed this with all his heart – it wouldn’t get too bad.

Hopefully, he wouldn’t be the one getting hurt in the crossfires. Joseph wasn’t sure he could take much more. He had recently done some fresh cuts on his arm that had actually helped a bit with his stress. It was incredibly relieving. It was almost like he was letting the pressure he felt out through the cuts. They weren’t deep or large like the last ones though. The aim hadn’t been to end all his misery and suffering like the first time; Joseph just wanted to feel like he had some control in his life.

That he could just breathe in peace.

Neither of his parents had noticed yet. Which meant that as long as he was careful, his stress-relieving technique was his and a secret. Once they found out, they would be no more of it; that was definite.

Finishing from packing his things and giving Peanut one last hug, Joseph made his way down and waited for his Tétka to finish cleaning the kitchen. His eyes caught on a bag on the counter that he hadn’t paid any attention to before. “Tétka? What are those?”

Flicking her glance to where he was pointing, she said “You remember Ms. Guerrero who lives two houses away from me?” Joseph nodded in confirmation. “She gave me some oranges from the trees in her backyard. Well, she gave me tons of oranges from her trees, so I figured you guys would like some.”

“Oh, well thank you. But you coulda made orange juice.”

His Tétka scrunched her nose in distaste. “Waay too much work. Making juice is a once a year thing. I’ve already done my once this year.”

Joseph shrugged for the lack of reply he had. Finishing what she was doing, his Tétka grabbed her keys and made her way to the door. Opening it, she gestured to Joseph. “After you, my good sir.”

Smiling only to make her happy, he murmured “Why thank you,” as he walked out the door to her car. There was only one thing going through his mind as they both got in.

_Please God don’t let this turn into a mess. Please don’t let this turn into a huge problem filled with anger and hate._

_Please don’t let me suffer too much today._

  

* * *

 

Parking her car in the garage, Vesela got out, grabbing Joseph’s happy meal as she did. She and Ivo generally didn’t like Joseph eating fast food even though he loved it almost more than anything else. But she felt like after what she made him go through today, he deserved even more than just a happy meal.

So she got him a milkshake too. Vesela was allowed to spoil her boy as much as she wanted; if she wanted to give him junk food to make him happy, then she could. It wasn’t anyone’s business to say otherwise.

Locking her car, she unlocked the connecting door and walked in. “Joseph,” she called, shutting the door behind her. “Baby, I’m back. I brought you lunch.” Walking to the kitchen, she placed the food and milkshake on the island, expecting Joseph behind her when she turned back around. Running a hand through her hair, Vesela called out again as she walked to the stairs. “Joseph?”

Still nothing. The house was so quiet it was actually starting to scare her. She laughed nervously, “Don’t be stupid. He’s probably in the bathroom or asleep.” Reaching his bedroom, she walked in expecting him to be sleeping in bed. Probably catching up on all the sleep he needed so badly.

But there was no one. “Joseph,” she murmured worriedly. Vesela stuck her head into his bathroom and still found no one. “Joseph this isn’t funny.” Rushing to her room, she looked around praying and hoping he was there.

No one.

Her heart started to pick up its pace. It was beating so fast she was surprised it hadn’t burst out of her chest yet. She looked into her bathroom although she just knew he wasn’t going to be there. “Joseph!” She yelled, panic finally setting in. _Where the hell is he??_

“Dear God, please…” She ran downstairs and checked the room, bathroom, and Ivo’s office. There was no sign of him. Her breaths were nothing short of hyperventilating, panic being the only thing Vesela felt right now.

She had left him alone and now he was gone.

Trying and failing to steady her breathing and calm her mind, Vesela paced as she tried to think of what the hell to do. Tears of fear were streaming down her face. What if someone had taken him? Vesela tried her best not to think of such scenarios but after last year, that was all that was on her mind. Someone had taken her child and could be hurting him right this minute.

Because she was a bitch who had left him all alone even though she knew how scared he was.

“O-Oh God, please help me,” she whispered to the silence of her home. “I don’t know…” Vesela ran her hand in her hair as she continued to walk back and forth, gnawing on her nails as she did. “What do I do?!”

Calling Ivo was completely out. There was no way she could tell him that she had left Joseph alone and now he was gone. He’d never forgive her. Ever. Ivo would have to be the last resort.

Breathing deep, she stopped her pacing and stared around the house. “Think, Vesela. You’re smart; figure this out.”

Joseph would have never let anyone into the house. There were only four people on that list: Ivo, Nikol, Yulian and Venc. She’d been thinking lately about adding Claudia and Raul to the list too. She trusted them with Joseph immensely; hell, Ivo trusted them more than he did Yulian. Which was wrong in her eyes but Vesela had learned that including herself between her husband and brother-in-law was just a bad idea.

Her brain was coming back on from panic mode to thinking. She’d figure this out; she had too. There was no other thing she could do anyways.

Except call Ivo.

“Not happening. I got this. It’ll be fixed and Ivo will never know.” There was no point in causing issues –  Vesela could handle this.

Closing her eyes, she murmured aloud “He’s okay. He’s fine. He’s not hurt.” She repeated this constantly in her brain for the next fifteen minutes as she paced back and forth once more. But despite how much she said it, Vesela’s brain just refused to believe it.

The panic was setting back in.

Dropping to the floor, she curled into herself and cried in frustration. “What do I do?!” He baby was somewhere, probably scared and hurt because she was a bitch. Because she was a stupid whore.

Vesela wasn’t sure for how long she cried, but she realized that crying was not an action she should be wasting her time on. Wiping her tears in anger at herself, she stood and looked around once more. Her eyes caught on a bag, just sitting on the counter.

That wasn’t there when she had left this morning.

Walking over, Vesela looked into a bag filled with oranges. _Oranges? Where did these come from? We sure as hell don’t have an orange tree…_

Ivo, Nikol, Yulian, and Venc. Four people that Joseph would open the door for. Those were the people he trusted – more or less when it came to Yulian. Plus Claudia and Raul. But she only knew of one who would bring oranges. Who _always_ brought oranges when the season came around.

Nikol.

“That bitch,” she seethed. Vesela couldn’t believe she had actually taken Joseph without asking. Without telling her at all. Making her think that her child had been kidnapped. Nikol wasn’t stupid; she knew exactly what Vesela would think the minute she couldn’t find Joseph.

Rage filled her. Here she was having a huge fucking panic attack because she thought someone had taken her baby and that she’d have to tell Ivo and it turns out Joseph was at his aunt’s house.

Vesela grabbed her keys and went to her car, bursting out of the garage the minute the door opened. She was going to raise hell. That bitch was so gonna get it.

Her little bitch was in for it too. He wasn’t an idiot any more than Nikol was; Joseph had to have known what the effects of him disappearing would be. He knew exactly what he was doing.

And he was going to get as much as hell as Nikol.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband


	63. Chapter 62

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> New Snapshot! It directly coincides with this chpt as it's Nikol's and Vesela's yelling and screaming in the background of the chpt. So go on and enjoy that!  
> No warnings, no news, no nothing. But if you're really dying for some type of chatter, I am enjoying an onion bagel that I melted sliced cheese in with a cup of iced coffee for breakfast. It's delish
> 
> Enjoy today's chpt!
> 
> _“You can’t get mad at her if I tell you. You promise?”_

Opening the door to his home, Andrey shouted “We’re home!” with Anka trailing after him, shutting the door behind them.

“Hey you two!” His mother called as she came down the stairs, a smile alight on her face. “How was school?”

“Eh,” Andrey muttered as he strolled to the staircase to go up. “Not bad, I guess. Ay, mayko!” He shouted as she yanked him to her.

Crouching down, his mother said quietly “Joseph’s here, sitting in the entertainment room. Behave.”

Andrey stared at his mom in surprise. It wasn’t like Joseph just to _be here_. He hoped everything was all right; Andrey knew that things weren’t always amazing at casa de Kavinsky. Despite how much he got annoyed from Joseph, Andrey didn’t want his cousin’s life to suck.

Shrugging away from his mother, Andrey replied “I always behave, don’t be silly.”

He made his way upstairs, changed, and washed up. After that he made his way back downstairs and went to go see his cousin. The door was open but he knocked anyways and stood in the doorway, watching Joseph reading a book. “Hiya, Joseph.”

Looking up, Joseph gave him a small smile and looked back to his book. “Hey.”

Walking over he plopped himself on the couch next to him. Joseph flicked a quick curious glance to him. “So, how are you?”

He scrunched his nose as a he flicked yet another glance to Andrey. This time a very disbelieving one. “Seriously?”

“Okay, I’ll admit that sounded stupid. Um, but seriously…” He fiddled with his hands nervously, “I-Is everything okay?”

Joseph gnawed on his lip as he usually did, probably trying to decide if it was a good idea or not to tell Andrey what was going on. Finally after some silence, he murmured “Everything is cool.”

“Would you tell me if it wasn’t?”

His cousin turned and contemplated him carefully, Joseph’s face taking on the examining look of his father. Sighing, he whispered “No.”

Despite their issues, Andrey was hurt. It left an ill feeling sitting in his stomach that his cousin didn’t trust him enough to tell him when he was hurting. He’d try his best to make him feel better; Andrey doesn’t want Joseph to suffer. He’s listened in on lots of his parents’ conversations and knew that Joseph wasn’t as lucky as him in tons of things.

“But…” Joseph said quietly. “Not because I don’t trust you or anything. But because…because I don’t want you to have to worry. You’re too little to have to put up with stress and stupid worries.”

Andrey stared at Joseph in surprise. He was a year and a bit older than Joseph but yet his cousin saw himself as older. And Andrey couldn’t even argue with that.

Because he’s never been through half the things Joseph has. He technically was younger in terms other than age.

“You’re not a stupid worry, dork. I care and I want to hear it.”

Joseph smiled at him; an actual real smile that Andrey hasn’t seen in so long. “Thank you. But really it’s okay.”

Getting comfortable, Andrey said “Well, seriously. If there ever is anything, you can really tell me anything.” Tapping his ear, he laughed “I’m all ears, dude.”

He turned back to his book, a smile playing on his face. “That’s good to know. One day, I just might need those ginormous ears of yours.”

His cousin let out a yelp as Andrey kicked him in the leg. “My ears are so not ginormous.”

Letting out a laugh, Joseph replied “Depends on who you ask.”

  

* * *

 

They sat, comfortable in the silence between them. Joseph couldn’t even remember the last time him and Andrey had actually been so at ease with each other.

It was definitely nice.

They both looked to the door of the room as the doorbell rang. “How much you wanna bet that’s mayko?” Joseph whispered.

He was surprised when Andrey suddenly stood and walked to the doorway, slamming the door shut. Grabbing the remote, he plopped himself back down next to Joseph and turned on the tv. “What do you want to watch?”

“Uh, whatever is good really.”

Flipping through what felt like a billion channels, Andrey finally stopped on Spongebob. Turning to look at Joseph, he murmured “This work with you?”

“Ya, this is cool,” he murmured back as he started to hear yelling. Definitely his mother. Andrey hiked up the volume to where the yelling simply became murmurers. The silence was no longer comfortable. Joseph started scratching along his arm, a new habit he’d started whenever he was nervous.

Everything definitely wasn’t going to be okay today.

“So these writers are probably super weird in their head, what do you think?” Andrey asked.

Joseph turned to him in surprise, not expecting such a sudden question. “Uh, what?”

Andrey gestured to the television. “These writers, man. How messed up in the brain do you have to be to be able to write this stuff?”

“Um…huh…Good question…” Joseph trailed as he leaned against Andrey’s side. “Well, I’d tell them thanks for being weird because the stuff they write is totally awesome.”

They both jumped as his mother yanked the door open. Her face was furious, anger seething out of her every movement. “Get your stupid ass up now.”

Gnawing his lip, Joseph slowly sat up and slid off the couch onto the floor. “Hi, mayko.”

“Ass up NOW.”

Joseph could feel his tears welling up. Crying would definitely not help his situation right now. Standing up, Joseph trudged over to his mother who yanked him by his arm in front of her. His Tétka was standing in front of the door. “He’s not going with you.”

Still yanking him by his arm, his mother yelled “Like hell he isn’t!” She turned to Joseph, “Go grab your shit this minute.” She shoved him towards the staircase. “NOW.”

Wiping his tears as best as he could manage, Joseph made his way to Andrey’s room and grabbed his bag, leaving the shouting adults behind. Dear God help him when he got home. His heart nearly leapt out of his chest when Joseph turned and found his older cousin in his face. Stifling his tears, he laughed “People announce themselves you know. That way the other people don’t have heart attacks.”

Andrey just stood, contemplating Joseph carefully. He caught Joseph by surprise when he suddenly embraced him tight. “Don’t forget about my ginormous ears,” he whispered, “They’re here whenever you need them.”

Hiccupping into Andrey’s shoulder and hugging him back, Joseph murmured “Thanks.”

Unwrapping from one another, Andrey took his hand and lead him downstairs. Joseph looked to his mother’s anger ridden face. “I’m ready.” Yanking him from Andrey, she dragged him behind her and out the door, slamming it behind them.

The car ride was uncomfortable to say the least.

They walked into the house together and after his mother slammed the door, he whispered “Mayko?”

“Shut. The. Fuck. Up.” Halting in her tracks, his mother turned to look at him, eyes blazing with more than just anger. There was hate too. “How could you, you little piece of shit? Do you even understand what kind of hell I went through when I didn’t find you?”

“I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry?!” His mother threw her hands into the air, full of frustration. “What the fuck am I supposed to do with your apology? I just-” She let out a frustrated laugh. “I nearly had a fucking heart attack when I couldn’t find you! Do you get it?”

“You thought someone had taken me,” he supplied.

Walking closer, she crouched nearly face to face with him. Her face was contorted in fury. “I thought someone had stolen you and was hurting you. I was thinking how the fuck am I going to get my child back. How the fuck I was going to tell your bashtá that I’d lost you again.”

Joseph screeched in pain when his mother suddenly grabbed and twisted his arm. “I had to listen to a lecture from your Tétka because she was oh so concerned for her nephew.” Letting go of his arm, she huffed as she stood. “According to her, I don’t even deserve you. I think she’s got it all wrong though. You’re the one who doesn’t deserve the family he has. You’re just an ungrateful sniveling bitch.”

His eyes turned huge, staring at the woman before him. He couldn’t believe she had actually just said that. When had he ever seemed ungrateful? His family was a horrid mess but he loved them more than anything.

Why did no one ever get that? How hard was it to understand?

“Mayko,” Joseph whispered. “I’m thankful for what I have.” His mother stared at him like he was crazy as he continued in a strong voice, surprising himself that he wasn’t in tears. “I’m thankful every day for what I have because I know that there are people who aren’t as lucky as me to have two parents, or a house, or clothes, or even food. I’m thankful for the horrible parents that I have because at least it means I have some.” She made to interrupt him but he stopped her; he wasn’t finished yet. “And one day, one of these horrid days, you’re going to be so sorry when I’m gone. And you guys are going to wish you had been more thankful for what you had.”

He glared at her the way he had seen his father do so many times before him as he grabbed his stuff. “And although I’m thankful, I really, really hate you right now.”

His mother stood in shock, her brain probably still comprehending all that he’s said so far. Hope filled in him that his words would strike a nerve good and hard. If he could manage it to his father, he should be able to manage it with his mother. Walking up the stairs, he called after himself “Maybe someone really should have taken me so you’d understand what you could have lost.” Pausing when he reached the top step, Joseph corrected himself. “Actually, I should say what you’re losing. And things that are lost…” he trailed off. Joseph would let her fill in the blank.

He was so sick of always having to point out the obvious.

  

* * *

 

“You can never get back,” she whispered. Vesela plopped herself down onto the tile, not even able to produce the tears she was dying to release. She was pretty sure her tear ducts were all out. What to do, she had no idea anymore.

Her shitty life was something she just didn’t want to deal with anymore. That she couldn’t deal with anymore.

Beating was what her heart stopped doing when she heard a key insert into the lock of the front door. Why she hadn’t remembered to lock the other locks, Vesela had no clue. But man, was she hating herself right now as she looked up at Ivo walking in.

Her husband’s face was lit with confusion when he caught sight of Vesela sitting on the floor. His eyes flicked to the living room, “Something wrong with the couches?”

Giving a nervous laugh, Vesela got up to her feet. “Uh…no but…I just wanted to sit on the floor, I guess.”

“You…wanted to…sit on the floor?” Ivo asked as he walked over and pecked her on the lips. “Not at all weird…”

“Well, no one ever said that this family isn’t weird.”

“I guess so…” He tried to catch her eye but she didn’t want him to see the guilt and pain trying to hide in them. “Vesela, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” she murmured, releasing herself from his grasp. “Nothing, I’m fine.” Pulling away as he tried to hold her again, Vesela said louder “Really, Ivo, I’m fine.” She took a deep breath and looked him in the eye. “So did you forget something? Not like you to come home now.”

Her husband stared at her for a while longer, examining her closely. Vesela could tell that he knew she was a liar but he didn’t press her. “I need to grab a file for something. Didn’t know that I was going to need it today.”

Smiling, she kissed him. “Then off you go before you make whoever needs it wait.”

Ivo stared at her a little longer but then plastered a smile on his face. “Of course not.” He began walking to his office but stopped abruptly. Turning to her, he asked “How was Joseph’s first day back?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband


	64. Chapter 63

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> So...you guys are totally allowed to hate on me now because still no chpt Tuesday. I've got a midterm and a project so ya... Buuuttttt definitely one next week. Like for sure. Cross my heart and hope to die and all that jazz
> 
> Warning: Ivo doesn't always want to have to be the bad guy ;)  
> Enjoy!
> 
> _“Oh that comes up often. You know he used to threaten to cut out my tongue? He threatened to castrate me once too.”_

Joseph watched the blood well into the cut for a while before grabbing the napkin he had wet to dab it clean. He stared for a couple more seconds before rolling down his sleeve, covering not only his new cuts but the lovely bruise his mother had gifted him with.

Tossing the napkin into the trash, Joseph walked to his bed and curled into his blankets. He was ready to let his tears out now. Rubbing his face into his pillow, Joseph let his pain fall into it, the occasional hiccup making an appearance. “I can’t do this anymore…I'm so tired.”

What bothered him the most was that he had actually told his mother that he hated her. Joseph sure as hell loved his mother more than anyone; even a bit more than his father. But not more than his grandfather. No way.

Yet he had actually brought himself to tell one of the people he loved more than anything that he hated them. Joseph had seen his father enough; he knew what things hurt and how to strike. He was pretty sure that he was almost as good as him too.

But that didn't mean that Joseph wanted to be like him. It didn’t mean that he wanted to hurt like his father could.

He wanted to be better than that.

Maybe if he just went and apologized? But that wasn’t fair to him; Joseph may not hate her but he was definitely still mad. And he was darn sure that he had every single right to be.

Sighing, he sat up and wiped his face clean. “Not apologizing,” Joseph muttered. “She doesn’t deserve it.” He sighed once more, thinking of a plan. Talking to her was out of the question but…maybe he’d just write her a note? Tell her that he didn’t hate her?

But still mad. Definitely still mad. Joseph had no intention of forgiving her anytime soon.

Huffing, Joseph bounced off the bed, grabbing a pencil from the drawer and finding a scrap of paper.

_Not sorry and you’re not forgiven, but I don’t hate you_

Joseph folded his note and opening his door, trotted to his mother’s room. Walking in, he placed the note under her pillow and figured she’d find it eventually. When she did, it didn’t matter – Joseph had cleared his conscious now. His job was done.

“What are you doing?”

He jumped in surprise, turning to face his father. Carefully steadying his panicking heart and his breathing, Joseph replied “Nothing. Uh, you’re home?”

His father leaned on the doorway, arms crossed. “I had to grab something and then I remembered I might as well change while I’m here.”

“Change?” He said feigning curiosity. Joseph really couldn’t care less right now.

“Spilled coffee on myself.”

Nodding, Joseph began to work his way to the door so he could leave. His father grabbed his shirt collar when he passed him. “Mayko said your first day back wasn’t so great?”

Joseph paused in surprise and was happy that he was facing away from his father so he couldn’t read the shock in his face. Schooling his expression, he turned to face his father. “I-It was just…eh, I guess.”

Cocking his head, his father murmured “Just eh?”

“Umm,” he gnawed his lip, “Just eh.”

His father nodded slowly, “Uhuh…” He scratched his jaw in thought, “Just eh… and the note you slipped?”

He gave a nervous laugh, “Nothing.”

“Nothing…” he trailed. “So if it’s nothing, then I can read it?”

“No!”

His father blinked at him in surprise. “No?”

“U-Umm…it’s really nothing. Just something…for her to look at later.”

Huffing, his father rubbed his face in what Joseph assumed to be frustration. “Is there a reason that both of you are aiming on spending the day lying to me?”

The good thing was that his father didn’t actually sound angry; just incredibly annoyed. It was a little weird but Joseph wasn’t going to challenge it. Annoyed would always be much better than angry. “Umm…n-no lying.”

Staring at him a moment longer, his father turned and walked to the bed, pulling the note out from underneath with Joseph biting his lip watching.

“Not sorry and you’re not forgiven, but I don’t hate you,” his father read aloud. He flicked a glance to Joseph, “This is about what?”

He felt his pain, anger, and frustration of the day rushing back on him all at once. Tears welled in his eyes, “It’s nothing. Just…”

  

* * *

 

“…Nothing,” Joseph whispered.

Ivo stared at his son before him with tears gathering in his eyes. _Not sorry and you’re not forgiven…_ Vesela must have fucked up somehow today. Fucked up bad if Joseph had actually explicitly told her that he hated her. Even Ivo hadn’t faced those actual words.

Maybe it was time to up his awesomeness points. This seemed like a prime opportunity to take advantage of. Vesela screws up and he swoops in to save the day. Isn’t that what Vesela always did when him and Joseph had issues? Why couldn’t he do the same?

Folding the note back up, Ivo returned it to its place under Vesela’s pillow for her to find later. Taking off his jacket, he sat down on the bed and patted the spot next to him. “C’mon, sit.” He watched as Joseph dragged himself over and sat beside him, wiping his tears as he did.

He pulled Joseph into a hug and murmured “So no school today, huh?”

“I-I’m just not ready yet.”

“Do you remember when I told you after you’d been kidnapped that you won’t know you’re ready until you try? And those circumstances were much more drastic than dyádo dying.”

“Yah, I guess…”

Biting his lip, Ivo said carefully “So…now we got that part out of the way; you’ll try again tomorrow. What happened between you and mayko?”

Joseph went stiff under him. “Nothing, we’re over it.”

“Tell that to someone who believes you. Also someone who didn’t find his wife sitting on the tile and his son slipping a note under her pillow.”

Scratching along his arm, Joseph replied “You can’t get mad at her if I tell you. You promise?”

Oh damn, Vesela must have screwed up really bad if Joseph thought he’d get angry. Nodding, Ivo murmured “Promise.”

He stared at him for a minute. Nodding himself, Joseph started “Okay…um…we kind of got in a fight this morning because I didn’t want to go to school and she got really mad and told me I have to stay by myself today. And-”

“Wait, wait,” Ivo interrupted, “She left you by yourself?”

Joseph nodded tersely, “For a while. She…had some stuff to do.” Ivo could just feel the lie of omission in there. He’d figure that part out later. “And then Tétka came and she took me with her without telling mayko.”

“Oh I know where this is going…” Ivo rubbed his forehead, “I know exactly where this is going.”

“Ya, so…I’ll just let you fill in the blanks…” Joseph whispered.

Ivo scrunched his face in confusion. “But… how is that your fault?”

“I shoulda known better.”

“Technically…yes. But I still don’t think it should be your fault.”

Joseph voice wobbled as he murmured “Ya well, when you’re an ungrateful sniveling bitch everything is your fault.”

“Ungrateful sniveling bitch…” Ivo sighed as he stood, Joseph looking up at him in worry. Turning back to face his child, Ivo asked “So what did you say? Actually don’t bother answering as I assume they were some nasty words along with ‘I hate you.’”

Looking down at his hands, Joseph whispered “I’m allowed to be angry.”

“You sure as hell are allowed to be angry.”

His son looked up at him in surprise. “Really?”

Nodding, Ivo replied “Really.”

A small smile creeped onto Joseph’s face; probably satisfaction. “T-That’s good to know.” He looked to Ivo in concern. “Um…I didn’t want to apologize because I don’t feel like I should but…do I need to?”

Ivo stood contemplating this for a minute. Technically, Joseph should probably apologize but…if he didn’t want to and Ivo took his side, wouldn’t that make Ivo the good guy?

He really wanted to be the good guy once in a while.

“Uh…nah, don’t worry about it.”

“Um okay,” Joseph said while working a hole into his lip. “I think she’s mostly mad because she had to listen to Tétka yelling at her.”

“That would piss anyone off,” he muttered. Surprisingly, Ivo didn’t necessarily think Nikol was wrong for yelling at Vesela but he knew that condescending feeling Nikol always managed to make people feel when she got a hold of them. It was incredibly unpleasant.

She could be as nasty as he could. That’s why when they ended up getting a hold of each other, it was always a stalemate. And that pissed him off every time.

Looking to Joseph hunched over, Ivo crouched in front of him and lifted his head so they could look at each other. “While you’re right to be angry, you don’t get to be disrespectful to your mother. And while you don’t need to apologize this time, the next time-”

“I will,” Joseph interrupted. “But hopefully there won’t be a next time.”

  

* * *

 

Joseph crept down the stairs, trying his best to stay quiet to hear in on his parents’ conversation. His father had promised not to be angry with her but Joseph knew that it didn’t mean he wasn’t going to go give her some words. Nasty words were a part of his father’s nature; it was like breathing to the man.

Sitting down on a step, Joseph pulled Peanut into his lap and listened carefully, making sure his breathing was nice and quiet. He’d get in huge trouble for eavesdropping if he was caught.

“I didn’t think-”

“When do you ever think?” His father interrupted. “That genius brain you used to have seems to be slowly deteriorating every single day.”

Huffing, his mother muttered “I thought he’d pick to go to school, okay? I forgot that he’s even more pigheaded than his father. And I couldn’t just change my mind once he made his choice. He’s got to learn the consequences that come with his decisions.”

“I hope you learned the consequences that came with your stupid ass decision.”

“How was I supposed to know Nikol would feel like being a bitch today?”

His father gave a small sarcastic laugh and Joseph could just picture him ruffling his hair. “Nikol is a bitch every day, that’s entirely normal. And despite how much I genuinely hate her, she didn’t do anything wrong.”

There was silence for a few minutes until his mother broke it in a dumbfounded voice. “You’re serious.”

“Yes. You left him alone, Vesela. Literally anything could have happened. For fuck’s sake, it’s almost a year to the day that he was snatched from in front of the house. Do you actually think him being inside would make that much of a huge difference? We’re just lucky it was Nikol trying to prove a point and nothing else.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me. She should have told me, Ivo. She should have called and said she was taking him with her. I practically died from a fucking heart attack thinking something happened to him.”

Joseph called that one.

“Good,” his father replied.

“Good? What the hell is wrong with your head?” His mother asked incredulously, trying her best to keep her voice low but Joseph could tell she was having trouble. She was getting mad.

“Now you won’t be that fucking stupid again. You deserved every horrible panicking moment and the lecture I imagine Nikol gave you.” He heard his father beginning to walk away, probably on his way to the door to leave.

“Are you listening to yourself?”

His father’s footsteps stopped. “What if it hadn’t been Nikol? What if someone had actually taken him again? What were you going to do? You obviously didn’t think of calling me while you were having your major panic attack.”

“I-I would’ve figured it out. I did figure it out just fine.”

“After how long?”

“What?”

Joseph could hear the annoyance beginning to fill his father’s voice. He wouldn’t allow the anger because he had promised but Joseph could tell that keeping that promise was currently getting difficult. “After how long did you figure it out? You came home, didn’t find him, and started panicking. When did your brain actually turn on to figure it out?”

He could imagine his mother biting her thumbnail, contemplating how to answer. “Maybe a half hour,” she whispered.

“Do you know how much can happen in a half hour? You should have called the minute you couldn’t find him. It doesn’t matter whether it was Nikol or not; you should have called.”

“I couldn’t.”

“No, no. You wouldn’t. There’s a huge fucking difference.”

“I couldn’t, Ivo. I couldn’t have you thinking that I’d lost him again. I wasn’t going to deal with that blame all over again.”

Joseph shared a look of surprise with Peanut who had been listening in with him the whole time. Whether she understood what was going on was a completely different story.

He didn’t know that his father had blamed his mother all this time that he had been kidnapped. In truth, Joseph hadn’t thought his father had really cared that much. Their relationship had only gotten better _after_ the kidnapping – it was in horrible shambles before. The fact that he blamed his wife this whole time was surprising.

“You would rather not face blame than to use every precious minute during a kidnapping to find your child? You would rather your child, _your baby,_ suffer than you? I thought I was the heartless bastard?”

“Stop,” his mother whispered, tears breaking her voice.

His father started walking again and Joseph heard the door open. “There are days where I really don’t even understand you. Your family always likes to make me seem like the horrible person but I think that maybe they need to look into your face more often. I may be a lot of bad things, Vesela, but the one thing no one could ever accuse me of is being selfish.” Joseph didn’t feel like he could argue with that statement. “The fact that you’d rather have your son suffer instead of lose an ounce of my affection is just disgusting.” He also couldn’t argue with that one.

“Ivo-”

“No. I don’t want to hear it. Congratulations on being a selfish whore. I’m sure your life is complete now,” and he slammed the door behind himself.

Joseph stood to go back to his room before his mother might see him but paused on the top step when the door opened back up.

“And by the way,” his father added, “You should be thanking your son for making me promise not to be angry with you. Because you would be packing up and shitting off to your sister’s right now. Just looking at you pisses me off.” The door slammed shut once more.

He was incredibly happy he had made his father promise. Even if he was mad at his mother, it didn’t mean that he wanted his father to throw her out.

Making his way back to his room, he quietly shut the door and sat on his bed. He listened to his mother’s steps on the stairs and then walking down the hall. He was surprised when she knocked on the door. Joseph still wanted to use his ‘no talking’ policy but being rude wasn’t something he was good at usually.

“Yes?” he said quietly.

His mother opened, eyes red from tears but anger was burning bright. “Made him promise, did you?”

Joseph nodded tentatively. The anger flaring in her eyes was making him nervous.

“Well, thank you I guess. Or at least that’s what I’m supposed to say, isn’t it? But see, I lied for you and said you went to school. How is it you couldn’t have just not mentioned anything for me?”

“I-”

“Shut up. Don’t want to hear it. You don’t get everything you want. And being that what you want is me here, I’m just going to leave like your bashtá wanted. If he doesn’t want me here and you just want my presence but feel like I don’t deserve talking to, then I’m not staying in a house where I’m not wanted.”

 _Oh God, she’s leaving me again…_ He could feel panic rising in his stomach and suffocating his lungs. “Mayko, wait.”

“Not happening,” she called as she walked to her room. “Life’s shitty, you should learn that.”

“I already know,” he whispered in despair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband


	65. Chapter 64

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> Announcement! I warned Safooooo (did I put enough o's?) about something I thought they'd be excited about and then they made me doubt myself and ya... I still think you will think it's exciting haha. So what's this announcement? Well, awhile back me and BSymph had a talk on tumblr about if I'd ever write the dream pack and then the other day Safooo (how many o's???) was mentioning them too. So because of you two lovely ppl I have officially decided that I'm going to undertake their lives as well!  
> So what's this mean exactly? Welp, Proko, Jiang, Skov, and Swan are each going to get their stories written! They won't be as extensive as K's though. So ya... Hope that was as exciting as I thought it would be. I tend to enjoy drowning myself in so much plans and work that I can't keep up. Wish me luck
> 
> With that out of the way, enjoy some father-son bonding
> 
> _“You're offering me a job of bartending for fourteen dollars an hour?”_

He paced.

And he paced.

And he paced.

It wasn’t like he knew what else to do. It seemed kind of stupid to read or play or whatever.

So Joseph paced instead.

Once more, he was alone. The only difference now was that his mother wasn’t coming home anytime soon. There was also the fact that there was no one coming to his rescue like his Tétka had. He did have Peanut though, and she definitely counted for something.

Maybe he should just call his father. But calling his father was always something difficult. It always made him nervous. Although being alone wasn’t something he wanted to deal with again. “We got this, Peanut,” he murmured to the adorable fluff pacing with him.

Walking to his father’s office, Joseph threw himself into the nice leather chair. He took a deep breath before lifting the handset and dialing his father. The sound of the ringing only made him more nervous. He wasn’t sure if he was happy or not that his father didn’t answer. Joseph waited five minutes before calling once more. If he didn’t answer this time, then Joseph would just let it go.

Not expecting to get an answer, he jumped a little when a voice said hello. But it wasn’t his father.

“Hi, Venc,” he said in confusion, “Why are you answering?”

“Well, we're kind of in a meeting but when you rang again, he slipped it to me to take outside.”

“Oh… I'm really sorry for interrupting…”

“No, no! Don’t be sorry about it! What’s up?”

Joseph wondered if he should just let it go or not. It wasn’t like Venc was oblivious; he knew things weren’t always okay. But how much Venc knew, Joseph didn’t know. How much he was allowed to know was another question.

“C-Can you just tell him when he’s done that…” he tapped his fingers on the desk in nervousness. Hopefully, Venc knowing things wasn’t an issue. “T-Tell him that she left, please.”

There was silence on the other end. Eventually, Venc murmured “I’ll take care of it. Make sure the doors are all locked, okay?”

“Okay,” he whispered, closing the phone.

He could feel his tears beginning to drip. Sighing, Joseph stood and picked up Peanut from the floor and trudged up to his room. He placed Peanut on the bed and got up after her, curling under his blankets. Joseph prayed to the magical forest God to just bless him with some sleep.

That’s all he wanted in life right now.

Just some rest.

  

* * *

 

Ivo dropped back down into his chair once it was only him and Venc left in the room. The Russians always managed to suck all the life out of him. Goddammit, they were exhausting to put up with. Five minutes with them was draining; a couple hours? Pure torture. The added weight of his advisors didn’t help either.

His eyes flicked to Venc, who sat beside him looking nervous. That meant there was going to be some serious talk right now. “What,” he muttered. Might as well get it over with.

“You want to talk about it?”

Sighing, Ivo slumped in his chair. No, no he really didn’t want to.

“I think you should.”

“Guess I said that out loud?”

“Yup. So c’mon, what’s happening in the Kavinsky home today?”

Rubbing the top of his hand with the other, he muttered “Vesela.”

“I know that part. Tell me the rest.”

Glaring at Venc, he said “When did you get to be such an ass?”

Shrugging, the boy in front of him smiled “I learned from the best.” His voice grew serious as he said quietly, “Ivo, seriously, talk to me. What happened?”

“Fighting and yelling, what do you think exactly?” His mind latched on to something. “The phone call. What was it?”

Venc was silent for a minute before he murmured “She left, Ivo.”

Looking away, Ivo muttered “Of course she did. Obstinate bitch.”

“You may not be a bitch but you’re a bastard and you need to look in the mirror more often. Because I know you know that whatever you said made her leave. I also know that you probably wanted to kick her out and used that way that you twist words to make her think it was her own choice.”

“Shut up before I throw you out of this room.”

Venc pressed on. “Joseph’s alone. He suffers because of the decisions you and Vesela make. He’s alone when he shouldn’t have to be.”

Ivo swallowed while rubbing his face. He knew all this already. He knew it and yet he still let it happen.

He was supposed to be better than that. He was supposed to be doing better than that.

“I’ll fix it.”

“Make sure you do,” Venc muttered as he stood. Ivo could read the tinges of anger growing on his features. Sighing, Venc put on his jacket and said “Goodnight and I’ll see you tomorrow, asshole.”

“I think I give you too much leeway, child. And it’s evening.” Standing, he grabbed his own coat and slipped it on. He had a child to go home too. “I’m going to fix this.”

“You better,” Venc murmured as he walked out the door.

  

* * *

 

“…home? Hello?” Joseph felt another poke in his side and then one on his cheek. Opening his eyes slowly, he looked up into his father’s face. Yawning, he murmured “Hi.”

His father sat down on the edge of the bed. “You hungry? I got Chinese. Lots of it; I’m starving.”

Yawning again, he stretched his tired muscles. “Chinese sounds delicious. Oops, sorry Peanut,” he muttered when he kicked her almost off the bed. Rubbing his face into his pillow, he murmured “Ten more minutes.”

“C’mon, get up. Food’s better when it’s fresh.”

“We can heat it up.”

His father poked him again. “Let’s go.” He paused for a second in thought, “Actually, I got a better idea. Stay put.”

“That’s a fantastic idea,” he mumbled as he actually fell back to sleep. The magical forest God was kind today.

When he opened his eyes again, Joseph sat up in confusion.

“Watch your feet before you kick my laptop.”

Blinking and shaking his head, Joseph looked around his father’s bed and took in what was around him. Food for one; _lots of it._ His father hadn’t been joking. The laptop was sitting at the foot of the bed and his father placed a cup of juice for Joseph on the nightstand beside him. Placing his own cup of water on his nightstand, his father sat down and said “Wash up and come eat.”

“I’m pretty sure I wasn’t here five minutes ago.”

His father snorted. “Twenty minutes ago, dear child. And obviously, no, you weren’t here. I carried you over here.” Rolling his eyes, he muttered “Duh.”

Smiling, Joseph got out of bed and walked to the bathroom. “Duh. I should’ve known that your muscles aren’t just for show.”

A small laugh escaped his father’s lips. “No, no they aren’t. Although…” he trailed while smiling at Joseph as he washed his face, “A twig could carry you.”

He rolled his eyes as he walked back over and got up onto the bed, mindful of the food and laptop. “Totally couldn’t.”

“Definitely questionable, brat,” he mumbled as he put a disc in the laptop.

“Dinner and a show? Whoa, fancy, Lord Kavinsky.” Joseph made himself comfortable and grabbed his plate, plopping some noodles in as careful as plopping noodles could be. He didn’t think his father would have an issue if he spilled being that this was his idea but Joseph wanted to avoid it if he could.

“How is it you and Venc only seem to pick up my mouthiness?” His father asked as he pushed play and got comfortable beside Joseph, grabbing his own plate. “No spills would be appreciated.”

“No guarantees,” Joseph mumbled around a mouthful of chow mien. “What are we watching?”

“Lord of the Rings. Well, The Fellowship of the Ring specifically.”

Joseph paused mid chew. “Really?”

Flicking a confused glance to Joseph, his father answered “Really. Why so surprised? If I recall correctly, the deal was you finish the books, you get to see the movies. I have the first two and we’ll go to the theater to watch the last one when we get a chance.”

Biting his lip as a tear rolled down his face, Joseph murmured “Dyádo is supposed to watch with us.”

His father pushed pause on the movie. “He’s here in spirit,” his father murmured into Joseph’s hair after pulling him into his embrace.

He looked up into his father’s face. “Do you miss him?”

A small smile graced his father’s face. “Every God freaking day. But a person can’t spend their days in grief. You have to move on and remember all the good memories that you spent with the loved one you lost. Coping.”

Wiping his eyes, Joseph asked “Is that how you do it? Dealing with losing all your loved ones?”

After a long period of silence passed, his father finally answered “It’s how I do it now. Before…before I’d just let it eat at me, minute by minute. But when I met mayko, she taught me how to handle it. She’s a thousand times stronger than me, that’s for sure. But you’re wrong, you know.”

Raising an eyebrow, he looked to his father in confusion. “About?”

“About me losing all my loved ones. Maybe I don’t have my bashtá anymore and I don’t have my brother and I don’t have my mother,” Joseph couldn’t imagine how his father went about his days with that kind of weight, “I don’t even have my tust. But,” he squeezed Joseph tight, “I have my son and I have my wife. And for that, I am grateful every day. I haven’t lost everyone yet.”

Giggling, Joseph added mischievously “You have Tétka and Tetíncho too.”

“Oh Jesus fuck, Joseph,” his father groaned. “Those two are more like I’m stuck with them whether I like it or not.”

“But you’d be sad if something happened to them.”

“When it comes to Yulian, that’s questionable. Maybe, maybe not. If it was my fault then probably. But yes, I would be upset if something happened to your Tétka.” Straightening, his father grabbed his plate and started eating again. “Can we watch now?”

Picking up his own plate, Joseph nodded. “Do you really think he’s here in spirit?”

“Hell ya,” his father replied, pushing play on the movie. “Swear to God he’s haunting me.”

A huge grin erupted on Joseph’s face. “Haunting? Seriously?”

His father turned to him, his face super serious. “I swear. Even in death, the man is driving me insane.”

“Does he chastise your language and tell you stop being so conceited?” Joseph laughed.

“Trust me, that and more,” his father grumbled. “The bastard will forever haunt my brain. His voice is always there. ‘I could’ve sworn you had better manners, Ivo,’” his father mocked in a pretty decent impression of Joseph’s grandfather. “‘Is that really the decision you’re going to make?’ ‘Stop teaching your horrible manners to people.’”

“Nothing about sewing your mouth shut?” Joseph mumbled around a mouthful of bell pepper, trying to pay attention to both his father’s ramblings and the movie.

Laughing, his father replied “Oh that comes up often. You know he used to threaten to cut out my tongue? He threatened to castrate me once too.”

“Castrate?” He’s never heard that word before.

“Cut my balls off.”

Joseph unconsciously covered himself; that sounded horrible. “Any particular reason he threatened such a terrible thing? Doesn’t seem like dyádo. Even the tongue thing.”

“The tongue was when he first found out me and your mayko were together. He wasn’t happy that I didn’t ask for his approval before he caught us making out against a wall. Definitely wasn’t pretty. Castration was about year later when he realized that there was no way he could keep us apart and he said if I dare have sex with his daughter, I’d never manage to have it again.”

He giggled as he looked to his father, “Were you actually worried he would do it?”

“The tongue thing not really because technically I was a business investment and you don’t want to ruin your investment. But I was genuinely scared I’d lose my dick; don’t exactly need it to do work, you know? I was only nineteen and I hadn’t had a chance to use it yet. I really wanted to keep it.” He laughed as he said “To be honest, if your bábá had found out I had sex before marriage, she would have castrated me too.”

Working his lip between his teeth, Joseph wondered how personal he was allowed to ask. His father was only a private person to people besides Joseph, his mother, and Venc. This was a bonding moment, wasn’t it? Maybe it was a weird question but if anything it was his father’s fault for bringing it up. “Uh… you said ‘I had’? Guess dyádo never found out either.”

Joseph stared as his father choked on his bit of food. Coughing, he replied “You know, that sentence would have flown right over so many peoples’ heads. It has, actually. Sometimes, you’re just too damn smart.”

“That’s not a bad thing. And you didn’t answer.”

Rolling his eyes, his father muttered “No, he obviously never found out being my dick is still very much intact. But we knew we were going to get married anyways. We didn’t see why waiting was important. If it was up to us, we would have married when your mayko was sixteen. Obviously, your dyádo was completely against that. Made us wait until she was twenty.”

“So where’d the sex come in?”

His father stared at him, his mouth open mid chew. “Okay, I think I’m ending this conversation now. Me and my _eight_ ,” he emphasized, “year old child should not be having sex conversations.”

Taking a sip of juice, Joseph asked “When do we have those types of conversations?”

He really wanted to laugh at his father’s incredulous face. Joseph settled for a little smile as he waited for his father to answer. Eventually, he said “Come back when you’re like fifteen or sixteen. Then we’ll talk.”

“You’re the one who brought it up,” he pointed out.

“I didn’t think you’d get all curious and start asking stuff. Actually, I should have guessed that…” Shaking his head, he mumbled “Just watch the fucking movie.”

Turning back to his food with a smile, Joseph replied “No problem.”

They watched in silence for ten minutes, the only sounds being the movie and them munching and drinking. His father broke the silence with a very quiet “Two years before that.” Joseph made a small noise in his throat to show his father he was listening. “She was eighteen so if he ever did find out he couldn’t have my ass thrown in jail for statutory.”

He opened his mouth to ask what that was when his father interrupted and muttered “When someone eighteen or older – an adult –  has sex with someone below – a minor. I answered all your questions, so let’s just drop it now, yes?”

“I actually dropped it before but thanks for answering. ‘Preciate it.”

Smirking, his father leaned over and kissed the top of his head. “I love you, brat.”

Looking to his father, he smiled softly and whispered “I know.” And he really did. For their current moment in time, Joseph knew for a fact that his father loved him. There wasn’t an ounce of doubt in his heart. He hoped that this feeling would become much more frequent – knowing for sure that his father loved him. But for now, he was satisfied.

“I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband


	66. Chapter 65

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> Is there possible unnecessary drama in this chpt? Possibly. I realized that way back in chpt uh 1? 2? I named the principal Principal Rogers. And while there is absolutely nothing wrong with the last name Rogers...I needed to get rid of him. That wasn't the intent of the chpt until after the job offer(u'll understand when u read) and I'm like 'this guy just has to go.' Hence the drama. But who doesn't like some drama, right?
> 
> Another thing you'll get once you read. I thought it was weird that Kavinsky was a year older than Gansey and Co even tho they're the same grade. He was 18 when he died and they had just finished 11th. So either he was held back or started school late. Being that I didn't realize this when I made him a bday and started the story, the boy gets to lose a grade. It works nicely and fits with all the angsty plot of his life
> 
> Enjoy and I'll see y'all Tuesday!
> 
>  _“May the epic Vidal-Kavinsky sleepover commence!”_  
>  *psst* you get your blanket fort, BSymph

Slipping on his jacket, Joseph pulled on his beanie afterwards. His father popped up in the doorway, “Ready?”

“Umm,” he looked down at himself then looked around his room. “Ya, I think so…” His nerves were bubbling like crazy. Joseph wasn’t so sure he’d be able to handle school; his mental state wasn’t exactly in the best place. “D-Do I really have to go?”

“Joseph, if you miss anymore, you’re going to have to do third grade again.”

He rubbed idly along his jaw. “That’s not _really_ a huge deal.”

His father’s eyebrows rose in surprise. “You’d rather repeat a grade than go to school?”

Shrugging his shoulders, he mumbled “I’ll be ready by the next school year. I’m really not ready. I don’t think I can do it.”

Sighing, his father replied “How about we just try first and go from there?”

“Fine…” he muttered, giving in. Hopefully today wouldn’t go too horrible. “If I can’t?”

“Then call and I’ll pick you up. Fair enough?”

“I guess so.” Maybe he’d just sit for an hour and call anyways. When he said he’s not ready, Joseph meant it. He didn’t want to do this.

“Good. Grab your bag and let’s get going. I’m already late as it is.”

“Sorry,” Joseph mumbled.

“Don’t apologize. Let’s just go,” his father called as he walked off.

Grabbing his backpack, Joseph trudged out of his room and down the stairs. Walking into the garage, he got into the car and prayed for the best as they drove off.

“Here,” his father said, holding out a five dollar bill once they reached the school. “Buy lunch. Make sure you actually eat.”

Taking the offered cash, he murmured “Thanks.” He pocketed the money and sat in his seat looking at the school and the people around.

“You do know that you are going to have to get out of the car, right?”

Huffing deeply, Joseph muttered “I know.” He looked to his watch, “I still got ten minutes.”

“Aaaannnddd you plan on spending them in the car…”

“Do I really have to go?”

“Joseph,” his father said sternly. “Enough.”

His heart dropped in disappointment. He thought that maybe, just maybe, he’d get lucky and manage to get his father to agree. “’Kay,” he whispered, looking down into his hands.

He felt his father moving in the seat beside him and sighing. “Brat, it’s not going to be that bad.”

“Whatever,” he sighed while unbuckling himself and grabbing his bag from beside his feet. He made to open his door when he yelped in surprise as his father yanked him over to him in a headlock.

“I love you,” his father murmured, kissing Joseph’s head. “And have a good day.”

After being released, Joseph raised an eyebrow to his father. “Was the headlock really necessary?”

Laughing, his father replied “Of course. Much more fun that way. Now off you go.”

Shaking his head, Joseph opened his door and got out. “Bye.”

His father gave him a salute and added “You have to stay at least until lunch before you’re allowed to call. Unless there is something so beyond fucking drastic that you just have to. Got it?”

Swallowing down his nerves as best as he could manage, he replied “Got it.”

Shutting the door, he watched until he couldn’t see his father’s car anymore and then turned to face the school. When did he start hating it so much? School was always something he loved. Now it was such a chore. Breathing deep, Joseph rubbed the two bracelets – Emilio’s and his grandfather’s – on his wrist in comfort. “I can do this. Piece of cake.”

Surprisingly, his pep talk actually helped mellow him a bit.

“I can do this,” he repeated. “I can so do this.”

And he managed it. Up until lunch, of course.

Up until Tanner thought Joseph needed a proper welcome back.

  

* * *

 

Joseph swung his feet as he sat in the chair outside the principal’s office. Tanner was sitting beside him, kicking the floor as he kind of swung his feet. His actually touched the floor because he was taller. Both of them decided that talking to one another was a stupid idea to alleviate boredom so they settled on silence.

His face throbbed where Tanner had punched him above his eye and his… Joseph felt himself blush a little about actually cursing in his brain. Sure, he may have said or thought things like bitch but thinking or saying… thinking or saying _dick_ seemed different to him. Even if it was just last night that him and his father were talking about similar things. Even saying the word sex seemed different. His _dick_ – he felt heat fill his face – ached where Tanner had kneed him. That part of his anatomy was not made to take hits.

But it wasn’t all bad. Tanner’s lip was split and there was a bruise forming on his cheek. Joseph was proud that he was getting so good at getting in his own hits.

Sadly, his pride didn’t overshadow the fact that his father was going to have to come. He probably wasn’t happy when he got the call. But what if they had called his mother first? Would she come or would she just say she’s busy and let his father know?

His question was answered when the main office door opened and his father walked in. _That’s that then._ Sighing, he murmured hi as his father sat down beside him.

Slouching in his chair, his father turned his head with a look of boredom on his face. “Hi.”

“Sorry,” he muttered.

Shrugging, his father mumbled and yawned “No big deal. I was stuck listening to old men – minus Venc – bicker over one of my decisions. Getting a text from mayko telling me that you got in a fight was kind of like a blessing, to be honest. Gave me a reason to get the hell out of that room. Old people are both exhausting and annoying.”

Joseph and even Tanner giggled when the old lady secretary flashed a glare to his father. His father gave her one of his irresistible charming smiles and said “Not you, of course. You’re so beautifully fantastic, ma’am.” She merely rolled her eyes in response.

“What choice were they fighting about?” Joseph asked curiously.

“Business is not for children, you know that.”

He scrunched his mouth in disappointment. “Can you sum it up? Is it worth all the arguing?”

“Obviously I don’t think so but even you know them. They’re always looking for a reason to question anything I do.”

Surprise filled him when Tanner spoke up. “What do you work, Mr. Kavinsky?”

His father turned himself a bit so he could look at Tanner clearly. “What does your father work?”

“He does two jobs,” Tanner’s face fell as he looked down at his hands. “Well, he used to but his second job told him they don’t need him anymore. He’s been trying to find another for a month now. But he does plumbing for a real estate company. The other job was at night in a club; he was a bartender.”

Joseph stared at the boy beside him. A bartender was something he never saw Tanner’s father as. The plumber probably but definitely not a bartender.

Looking to his father’s blank face, Joseph waited for him to say something. He knew the blankness was only for the people around him. His brain was running a hundred miles a second behind the façade. “I’m a mobster,” he replied simply.

Tanner stared at him, his own face becoming devoid of emotion. “Seriously? You’re joking right?”

They all looked to the door as Tanner’s parents walked in. Why they both always had to come was something Joseph constantly wondered. “Mr. Kavinsky,” Tanner’s father muttered while sticking out his hand for a handshake that seemed like he really didn’t want to do.

Standing up, his father took the hand offered and stuck out his hand to Mrs. Lindsey. “Mrs. Lindsey,” he said in greeting. “We should probably stop meeting this way.”

Mrs. Lindsey pursed her lips. “Agreed.”

“Principal Rogers is running late, I’m sorry,” the secretary called from her desk. “If you all don’t mind just sitting and waiting?”

“Of course not,” his father smiled as he sat back down. Tanner’s parents sat beside their son, looking displeased.

After a couple minutes of silence, his father spoke up. “Mr. Peterson?”

“What.” Joseph guessed that the man didn’t feel like being a little more civil.

His father ignored the other man’s tone and said “I may have heard you’re looking for a job?”

Joseph and everyone turned to his father in surprise. Mr. Peterson flashed a furious look to Tanner. “No, you must have heard wrong.”

“Mmm, no I don’t think so.” Sitting up from his slouchy position, his father turned in his chair to look at Tanner’s father. “I may have one if you’re willing.”

“You may have one if I’m willing?”

Nodding, his father replied “Yes. If you’re interested. Same hours as your last.”

Mr. Peterson was trying not to show that he was actually interested. “I’m listening.”

“You worked as a bartender?” Tanner’s father nodded in confirmation. “Then the same job as well. How much were you paid? Minimum is what I imagine?” Another nod. His father gave his own nod. “Same hours, same job, but instead of minimum… twelve? Actually, no, I’ll settle with fourteen.”

Tanner’s father looked amazed. “F-Fourteen? That’s more than twice the minimum wage.”

His father raised an eyebrow. “I’m aware.”

“Your offering me a job of bartending for fourteen dollars an hour?” His voice was incredulous.

“Yes.”

Sharing a glance with his wife, Mr. Peterson looked back at Joseph’s father. “What’s the catch? For that matter, how can you even offer me a job like that?”

Shrugging, his father replied “No catch. Your son said you’d lost your other job. If you have to work two jobs in order to support your family, then that implies you’re not very financially stable. Hence the fourteen. Hopefully, it’ll help the stress of paying bills and, I imagine, rent every month. As for the how, I own and run a casino. Where you will be bartending if you accept.”

“Wait,” Tanner interrupted, voice laced with confusion. “You just said that you’re a mobster.”

“I am. But I’m also a legitimate businessman.” He laughed, “Most of the time, anyways. No worries, child, I’m not going to make your father do anything illegal. All he’s going to do is smile, take orders, and make and serve drinks. Nothing more.”

“While I’m thankful for the offer and truly would like to accept, I’ll admit I’m uncomfortable working in an illegal business…with a mobster.” Tanner’s father looked slightly disappointed. “Thank you though.”

Rolling his eyes, his father explained “The casino is entirely legal. As I said, no illegality involved. And you will not be working with a mobster. You’ll be working _for_ one. Not that you and I will have much contact anyways. It’s not like I’ll be signing your checks or anything. Call you into ‘the office’ for a performance review. I’ve got managers for all that lovely boring shit. Think carefully before you refuse.”

Tanner’s father opened his mouth to say something when Principal Rogers walked into the main office. “I’m sorry for making you all wait,” he murmured, unlocking the door to his office. “Please come in,” he gestured.

After all of them took a seat, Principal Rogers began. “So a fight, yes? In the cafeteria?” He looked to Joseph, “I’ll start with your half.”

“Uh, okay,” Joseph scratched along his arm. “I was walking to sit on one of the benches and Tanner came up and said ‘welcome back, shrimp,’ and I told him to leave me alone. That I didn’t feel like putting up with his garbage today. Then he got mad and said that he isn’t garbage and then I tried explaining that I didn’t mean him specifically but he punched me before I could. So then I punched him back… twice. Then he kneed me and then the teacher showed up. The end,” he smiled.

Apparently, the principal didn’t appreciate his winning smile. Maybe Joseph should practice more in front of the mirror or something. Or watch his father more often until he got it down.

Principal Rogers looked to Tanner next. “Sound about right?”

Tanner shrugged. “Ya, that’s exactly it. I’m not garbage.”

Joseph groaned. “I didn’t say you are. I said I didn’t want to put up with your garbage. There’s a difference.”

“We’ve been through this scene quite a few times now. And I’m just going to get to the point and hand out punishments.” He looked to the parents. “Sounds good?” Tanner’s parents nodded while his father shrugged. “Good. Two week suspension for the pair of you.” He looked to Joseph. “Not a good way to start your first day back in months.”

“Sorry,” he mumbled.

“Does the suspension count towards the absence limit?” His father asked.

“Yes.”

“Fuck.”

“We don’t use that sort of language in this school, Mr. Kavinsky.”

“Guess I’m over?” Joseph muttered to his father.

“By a fucking day. Any chance we can shorten the suspension?”

Principal Rogers looked at his father in distaste. “No. And again, the language if you would. If you were so worried, he should not have missed so much of the school year in the first place nor gotten into a fight his first day back.”

Joseph could see the tension in his father’s body; he was annoyed. “Well, Jesus, I’m sorry my father-in-law just happened to get murdered.”

“I’m sorry for both of your losses,” Joseph didn’t think he sounded sorry at all, “But lots of children have had their grandfathers die and have moved on just fine.”

“Died not murdered. There’s a substantial difference in the situation.”

The principal rested his hands on his desk. “You are Bulgarian, yes?” His father nodded, looking at the man before in confusion. “I seem to recall on the news of a Bulgarian older man getting sniped in front of a restaurant? Was that your father-in-law? Bullet between the eyes if I remember right? Terrible business really. But then a hazard of the job; he was a mobster if I recall correctly. Karma.”

Joseph couldn’t believe the stuff that had just come out of his principal’s mouth. Even Tanner’s family looked shocked. His father was strung in anger; Joseph could practically _feel_ it radiating off him.

“Dyádo didn’t deserve to die. You should never wish death upon any one, Mr. Rogers. That just makes you a horrible person.”

His principal turned to him, his gaze saying that he couldn’t care less what Joseph thought. “Mobsters kill people and ruin their lives. He simply got what was coming to him.”

“I think you need to shut the fuck up now,” his father said in his terrifyingly calm voice.

“Karma, Mr. Kavinsky. You know my father died because of the Dominican Mafia? They killed him because he was a day late on payment of a loan. I had to find my father’s body. Do you know how horrible that is?”

“The Dominicans were always a bit iffy when it comes to trusting people in paying them back,” his father replied, ignoring the last question. He looked to Joseph, “C’mon, let’s go.” He grabbed a post-it and a pen of the principal’s desk and wrote his number. He handed it to Mr. Peterson and said “Let me know what you decide.”

“You didn’t answer my question,” Principal Roger’s cut in, looking annoyed. “I had to find my father’s body last week. They put three bullets into him. Do you know how horrible it is to have to find your father’s dead body?”

Clenching his jaw tight then releasing it, his father said “Finding the dead body of a loved one? No.” His father didn’t explain that he was unlucky enough to have to _watch_ his loved ones die. He didn’t get the blessing of just finding them. Principal Rogers opened his mouth to say something but his father cut him off. “I’m not finished. You have no right to mock my son’s grandfather because of what happened to your father. Mocking him to his face, you bastard. Do you enjoy making a child hurt?”

“My father had holes in him, Mr. Kavinsky. From mobsters. From people like your family. Like your father-in-law. Bloodied and dead in the driveway.”

“We’ve all got our sob stories, Mr. Rogers. I was sixteen and sitting beside my father when the top of his head was taken off with a full metal jacket. I can give you a huge fucking list of the horrors I’ve been through. We’ve all got our tales and we’ve all got our pain. You’re nothing special. I’m sorry for the loss of your father. Too bad he went to the wrong mob to get a loan. I would’ve just charged him interest instead of killing him if he was a day late. Dead people can’t pay me back.” He turned to Joseph, as he opened the door forcibly “Let’s get the fuck out here.”

“Mr. Kavinsky?” His father looked to Tanner’s. “I’d like the job, please.”

Nodding, his father calmed himself and said “Good.” He walked back to the desk and wrote an address down, handing the paper to Mr. Peterson. “Tomorrow at?”

“Nine,” he supplied.

“Nine tomorrow then. Show up and ask someone for Asen. He’ll already be informed about our deal and he’ll get you started. Show up in slacks and a button up, yes? Not necessarily fancy but decent is required.”

Mr. Peterson nodded as Joseph and his father walked out the door and the main office into the main hall of the school. “Your principal is a piece of shit.”

“I’m aware,” he sighed. “Can you work magic and get him fired? I think I’d like that. Nobody gets to disrespect dyádo like that.”

“That’s a fantastic idea actually… Wait a minute here.”

“If your gonna say something else to him, I wanna hear it.”

Huffing, his father gestured to him to follow. They walked back into the main office where Joseph stayed as his father walked back into Principal Rogers office where Tanner and his family were still talking to him. He watched as everyone looked to his father as he stood waiting for them to finish.

Joseph couldn’t see his principal’s face but he heard him say “Yes? Something you forgot?”

“Yes, actually,” his father replied all fake cheer. “I wanted to let you know to start packing your things because by the end of the day, you’re not exactly going to have your job anymore.” He just knew his father was smiling even though he could only see his back. “Just thought I should give you a little warning because I’m such a decent guy.”

“You’re welcome,” his father laughed as he and Joseph walked out of the office once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband


	67. Chapter 66

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> Nothing to say today, I think...  
> Enjoy!
> 
> _“Just coffee for us. Detectives working don’t get the luxury of food sometimes. We gotta run on caffeine. And most of the time, the stuff in the precinct is nasty.”_

_Not sorry and you’re not forgiven but I don’t hate you_

“But sometimes, baby, I hate myself,” she whispered as she reread for the thousandth time the note Joseph had left for her. Vesela wished she would have found it before; it would have definitely tempered her anger. She did stupid things when she was angry; leaving Joseph was a very stupid thing. He’d always remember in his mind that she left him not only once behind but twice. “I’m so sorry…”

Vesela looked up when she felt someone’s eyes on her and found Nikol leaning in the doorway. “Dinner’s ready if you wanna eat with me and the kids.”

“Joseph got in a fight at school today.”

Sighing, her sister came and sat next to her. “Told Ivo?”

“Ya, I don’t know what happened though. He didn’t exactly let me know.”

“Probably suspension… Bad start to going back though.”

“Ya…”

“Joining us or no?”

Folding the note back up, Vesela asked “Advice?”

Her sister leaned back on her hands where they sat on the bed. “You should definitely eat with us. I’m a hell of a cook. Although I’m pretty sure that’s not what you’re asking about.”

Giving a small laugh, Vesela replied “No, dumbass.”

“Go home and eat dinner with your husband and child. Preferably just your child but with your husband is kind of inevitable…”

She looked to Nikol in wonder. “You think so? Go home?”

“I do. But you and I both know that you already decided that before I sat down.” Nikol stood and placed a kiss on Vesela’s forehead. “Do better for that blessing of a boy, Vesela. He needs you.”

“I will. I mean, I’ll try. I really will.”

Smiling, Nikol walked out and called “I know.”

  

* * *

 

Joseph stared at the food on the table. “All this time and I never knew you could actually cook. I’m shocked, Lord Kavinsky. You have many hidden talents.”

His father sat down in his chair. “So full of sarcasm, aren’t you?”

Laughing, Joseph sat down in his own chair with Peanut taking the one beside him. “Who said I was being sarcastic?”

“You only say ‘Lord Kavinsky’ when you’re being a pain in the ass.”

He smiled as he scooped a slice of moussaka onto his plate. Joseph loved anything with potatoes in it. His grandfather had always preferred the eggplant version and anytime he would come over and they were making moussaka, they’d make the eggplant one on the side just for him. Stuffing his first bite in, Joseph mumbled around his mouthful of potato, meat, and yogurt “Thank you. Totally delicious. But…”

“Yes, I know mayko’s is a thousand times better.”

“Not a thousand times. Maybe just a hundred times. But yours is really good. Don’t worry.”

“Thank you,” his father said after swallowing.

They both looked up as the doorbell rang. “Are we expecting anyone?”

“Not that I’m aware of…” his father trailed as he stood and walked to the door. He looked through the peephole and unlocked the thousands of locks on the door. Joseph tried to tell who it was but he couldn’t see and didn’t hear a voice either.

When the person finally walked in, Joseph couldn’t believe it. His mother looked at him nervously as though she was waiting for rejection. She got enough of that sort of stuff from his father, Joseph didn’t think he should put her through it. He knew that, sometimes, she suffered just as much as he did.

Getting off his chair, he walked to her and stopped about a foot away. He held out his arms for a hug. “Welcome back.”

She dropped her bag down onto the floor and practically flung herself down into his arms. Squeezing him tight, she murmured “I’m really sorry.”

Rubbing his face into her shoulder, he said quietly “It’s okay. I’m sorry too.”

His mother held his face in her hands. “No, I deserved every word from both you and your Tétka. Maybe not entirely from that pain in the ass behind me but I deserved most of them.”

“This pain in the ass was about to tell you to sit and enjoy dinner with us while it’s still hot but he’s rethinking that now.”

Giggling, Joseph said “Well, this pain in the butt is inviting you to dinner. You can ignore the one behind you.”

His heart jumped with delight when she broke into laughter. “Thank you, baby. You’re going to be such a fantastic man when you grow up.”

“I feel like that was some sort of jab at me,” his father grumbled. His mother smiled and winked at Joseph.

They walked back to the dining table and sat down to enjoy dinner. His mother broke the quiet clang of utensils hitting plates first. “So what happened with the fight?”

“I hit Tanner twice,” his voice filled with pride. “Bruised his cheek _and_ split his lip.”

“And I see he bruised your temple.”

“Well, ya but I still actually hit him.”

Smiling, she replied “Yes, yes you did. Good job. So what punishment are we getting with this pride?”

Joseph turned back to his plate, biting his lip. “Uh… well…”

His father jumped in. “He got suspended for two weeks. Problem is that-”

“It’ll take him over the absence limit…” his mother groaned. “Guess there was no negotiating that?” His father broke into laughter while Joseph blushed horribly red. His mother looked confusedly between them. “What?”

“Ya, definitely no negotiating,” his father answered. “He’s going to have to repeat the grade. Very very nonnegotiable.”

“Because?”

“Trust us on this one, mayko,” Joseph mumbled.

She raised her eyebrow, her eyes full of questions but she moved on from the topic of conversation. Joseph decided it was his turn to break the silence. “I watched the first Lord of the Rings movie.”

Her beautiful eyes sparkled at him. “Ya? How’d you like it? I didn’t read the books but I enjoyed the movies. They were a bit long though.”

“It was fantastic! I almost fell asleep towards the end but tatko gave me coffee and I ended up not sleeping at all.”

She turned to his father with a look that Joseph could only describe as humorous disappointment. His father looked down and found his food incredibly interesting. “Coffee, Ivo?”

Raising his head, his father made a face of innocence. “I’ve no clue what he’s talking about. Brat’s imagining things.”

“Oh and we talked about how dyádo and even bába were going to castrate him.”

His mother choked on her bite of food while his father glared at him but wore a smile on his face. “Dude, what happened to bros before hos? We’re supposed to have each other’s backs.”

Joseph erupted into laughter which caused his parents’ faces to fill with utter joy. “Should I tell her about the sex conversation too?”

He watched as his mother’s mouth dropped open and his father rested his head into his hands while shaking his head. “Something tells me I’m sleeping on the couch today,” his father muttered into his palms. That only made Joseph laugh harder.

The weight that had been invading his chest constantly felt lifted the more he laughed.

He could just breathe in peace.

  

* * *

 

“Flashlight?”

“Check.”

“Snacks?”

“Check.”

“Games?”

“Check.”

“Toys?”

“Check.”

“Pillows and blankets?”

“Check and check.”

“May the epic Vidal-Kavinsky sleepover commence!” Emilio shouted with glee.

The sleepover they had planned so long ago had finally arrived and neither of them couldn’t be more excited. They had built a fort out of pillows and blankets and prepared for some amazing fun.

The next two days were going to be epic.

“We should start with scary stories,” Emilio suggested.

Joseph’s eyes grew huge. “No way. Once upon a time, maybe. But my brain is filled with too much nightmares as it is nowadays. I really don’t want to add to it.”

Emilio felt worry boiling inside of him. He looked at Joseph with concern. “Why are you having nightmares? Is something wrong?”

His friend shook his head vehemently, “No! Everything is cool.”

It was a little too quick for Emilio, which generally only meant one thing – something was definitely wrong. Joseph was just trying to act like everything was fine.

“You know you can tell me anything, right?”

“Really, Emilio, everything is good.” But Emilio noticed the way Joseph wouldn’t look at him.

“Okay…everything is good now but maybe it wasn’t before?”

Joseph was starting to look a little annoyed. “Just let it go.”

He was incredibly worried but he didn’t want his friend to be mad at him. So Emilio let it go. Maybe he’d eventually convince Joseph to talk. He sure hoped so. “Just know that I’m always here for you.”

Giving him a small smile, Joseph replied “I know. But your ears aren’t nearly as huge as Andrey’s.”

“What?” Emilio laughed.

“Andrey’s ears? They’re beyond ginormosaur. Have you really looked at those things?” Joseph flapped his own ears. “They’re like twice the size of mine. He’s got wings on the side of his head, dude.”

Emilio burst into laughter, clutching his stomach as all his brain could think of was Andrey’s ‘wings.’ His laughter was contagious as Joseph erupted and started to laugh with him. They laughed even harder after they both shrieked when Peanut suddenly tackled them from outside, knocking down one of their walls.

_Yup, totally epic._

  

* * *

 

“Vesela,” Ivo mumbled, his eyes still closed as he tried to sleep. She hummed letting him know that she was listening from where she was sitting beside him, knees drawn up, as she turned the page of the book she was reading. “Please go tell them to shut up.”

A smile grew on her face as Vesela flicked a glance to her husband beside her, all cocooned in the blanket. The only part of him that was actually showing was his eyes and hair. The rest was curled tight and warm under the covers.

Her smile grew larger as Joseph and Emilio broke into laughter once more, the sound of their joy echoing throughout the house. Ivo groaned “Please. I really really need sleep. I’m so exhausted.”

“You want me to tell your constantly depressed and mildly suicidal son to stop laughing?”

His eyes opened at that as he turned his body to face her. “Why do you have to make it sound like that?”

“I’m generally the only one who can make you realize your stupidity sometimes,” she hummed as she turned another page.

“Can you just tell them to lower their voices then? I’m not joking when I say I’m exhausted. My eyelids feel like they weigh thousands of pounds.”

“You’d think you would just fall asleep then,” she murmured as one of the boys shrieked once more. Vesela would love to know what was so hilarious and terrifying at the same time. “Anyways, just take the day off tomorrow. You can sleep in.”

Ivo’s eyes flicked open again. “If I remember correctly, you’re the one who told me it doesn’t work that way.”

“They’ll survive a day without you. You’re no good to them dead and exhausted. Let Yulian take over tomorrow.”

Stretching, Ivo ran his fingers through his hair. “Okay, what do you want?”

Flicking an amused glance to her husband, Vesela replied “Who said I want something?”

“Because I can tell. So, c’mon let’s hear it.”

“I want you to make your son happy,” she answered simply.

He stared at her in confusion. “Maybe you could elaborate? Because I like to think that I’ve been getting better at making him happy.”

“I want you to take him and Emilio out tomorrow,” she murmured, turning yet another page. This book wasn’t as fascinating as the summary had made it sound.

He pressed his face into her hip, closing his eyes as he mumbled “Can’t you do it? Emilio will drive me insane you know.”

“Who do you think two boys are going to have more fun with – the mother or the awesome father who drives the coolest cars and has a mouth like a ghetto gangster?”

“The ghetto gangster,” Ivo mumbled sleepily.

Outlining his ear with her finger, she agreed “My thoughts exactly. So?”

“So, I’ll take them out tomorrow. Anywhere in particular or is that part up to me?”

Flipping her book over in her lap so she wouldn’t lose her page, Vesela counted out on her fingers. “Take them to breakfast first, then the arcade and the toy store in the mall – make sure you buy them each something. But not too expensive or else Claudia will make us take it back.”

“Anything else,” he yawned, pressing himself back against her when his movement dislodged his position.

“Yup. After that, take them to lunch. From there, your warehouse so they can sit in and touch all the cars they want. And from there come home and play with them in the snow. You can add in trips between the warehouse and home if you want.”

“Gee, thanks for the permission, my lady.”

Going back to her book, Vesela murmured “I enjoy seeing my child happy. The things that make him happy are spending time with us and Emilio. And I think a ‘just guys day’ would really brighten him up.”

“When we play in the snow, do know that I’m going to hit them with snowballs,” Ivo muttered as he drifted to sleep.

  

* * *

 

Joseph munched on a cracker as he read a book with a flashlight. He flicked a glance over to his fellow commander of the fort asleep beside him. Sleep hadn’t come to Joseph so he settled for a book and snacks instead.

Emilio rolled to where his face was facing Joseph. Dimming his flashlight a bit, Joseph flashed it to his friend and took some time to examine the boy in front of him.

He sure was pretty.

Keeping his word is what he did – Joseph was doing his best in repressing his nasty sinful feelings. But that didn’t mean he couldn’t look.

Did it?

His friend mentioned to him all the time when he thought a girl was pretty. Emilio was normal and that thoroughly disappointed Joseph. He wished his friend would think boys were pretty too.

“Stop!” Joseph whisper-yelled to himself. “Those are horrible nasty thoughts in your head. Just stop…”

It was so hard. Why men weren’t allowed to like men just didn’t make sense. But his mother had explicitly said it was wrong, a disgusting sin.

And Joseph didn’t want to be a disgusting sin.

Sighing all his confusion down, Joseph turned back to his book with the wishful thinking that he’d become normal like Emilio.

Just to take something off the list of all the things that made up the horrible mess that was Joseph Kavinsky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband


	68. Chapter 67

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> Am I still going to do that Venc snapshot? Yes, yes I am. It's actually half written already, I just haven't had time to finish it yet. So no worries, it's coming.
> 
> I was pasting this chpt in and I realized it's 21 words away from 3000 words. I hadn't realized it was so big. Do enjoy!  
> P.S. We should think of a Joseph/Emilio ship name
> 
> _“I’m sorry. It wasn’t on purpose, I swear. Not to say you didn’t have it coming though.”_

Ivo stood staring down at the decently constructed fort before him. He expected better of the two brilliant brains sleeping inside. “For shame, brats.”

“It’s not that bad, tatko,” Joseph mumbled from inside. He stuck out his head a second later, his hair a mess but Ivo could tell that he had barely even slept.

“I should’ve guessed you’d be awake. How much sleep were you able to manage?”

“Not as much as I need, that’s for sure,” Joseph grumbled as he dragged himself out. Peanut followed right after him. _I think I might actually be sad when that fucker dies…_

Ivo sighed as he sat down on Joseph’s bed. He kept his voice low as to not wake Emilio. “When’s the last time you actually slept how much you need to? The answer is at least a year ago. Maybe we just gotta drug you or something.”

“Children can’t take sleeping pills,” Joseph mumbled from the bathroom. “I already checked.”

“And that,” he muttered to himself, “is slightly worrying.” He stretched his leg out and jabbed where he was pretty sure Emilio’s side was. “Wake up, princess.” When he didn’t get an answer, Ivo poked him again. “Princessa, ass up.”

Joseph came over and stood above the fort; more like barely above the fort. _Dear God, please let my child hit a growth spurt…_ “You’re doing it wrong, tatko. In order to wake this particular species of Emilio, you gotta squish him.”

“Ah, of course. Can I sit on him, then? That’s what I would do to you.”

Shrugging, Joseph started picking up the stuff on the floor. “Knock yourself out. But don’t kill him because I kinda still want him. He’s all I got friendwise.”

Smirking, Ivo stood and decided how he wanted to go about this. He’d probably smother Emilio if he sat on him. “I’ll just collapse the fort on him,” he decided. He knocked down the first wall and the others soon followed. Ivo glanced to Joseph, “If there was ever a fire, he’d probably sleep through it.”

His brat gave him a small giggle as he continued cleaning. “I’m surprised your still home?”

“Mayko told me I’m taking the day off today. I’ve gotta drag your sorry asses around town,” he murmured as he dropped the blanket roof upon the still sleeping form.

And still nothing.

“Oh!” Joseph jumped in excitement. “Put Peanut on him and then close your ears.”

He pointed to Joseph, “Brilliant.” Reaching over to the bed, Ivo yanked Peanut off and dropped her smack onto Emilio’s stomach.

The shriek that erupted from the boy was, to say least, hilarious. Ivo and Joseph clutched their stomachs as they cracked up. Emilio looked so confused until he took in his surroundings after throwing off the blanket and started to laugh with them.

“I hate you both,” Emilio laughed.

“C’mon, up you go. We got lots of plans for the day.”

Joseph bounced up and down. “Really?”

“I did say I’m dragging your sorry asses around town,” Ivo reminded.

“I musta missed that part. So what’re we going to do?”

Sitting back down, he replied “It starts with breakfast and then we’ll work our way from there.”

“Awesome!” Emilio jumped from the mess surrounding him and asked “Should we get ready now?”

“Yup, so get your asses moving. I’m going to get ready and I’ll meet you guys downstairs. Don’t take fifty million years, yes?”

“Aye, aye, cap’n,” Emilio smiled while he started picking up the remains of their fort. “Actually, I should say yes, my lord.”

Rolling his eyes, Ivo stood and muttered as he walked out of the door “I’m probably going to lose my sanity today.”

He could have sworn as he walked into his room that Joseph replied “It’s okay, you don’t need it.”

  

* * *

 

Emilio sat beside Mr. Kavinsky, sneaking glances to him every few minutes. He was definitely handsome; he wondered if Joseph was going to look this good when he got older. _Not that he doesn’t look amazing already._

It wasn’t weird to think your friend’s dad was good looking, was it? Kids at school always commented on teachers; who was the prettiest that all the boys liked or the handsomest that all the girls had crushes on. Emilio was lucky – he saw everyone’s beauty.

And Mr. Kavinsky was by far something to look at.

He spoke before he even realized what he was saying. His thoughts became actual words without warning. “I like you better like this.”

Mr. Kavinsky turned slightly and stared at him with a funny look on his face. “What?”

Blushing, Emilio couldn’t think of a good way out of this situation without it becoming weirder than it already was. “What I mean… I mean that I like you dressed like this.”

“Child, what the fuck is wrong with your brain? Your making no sense. I dropped Peanut on your stomach, not your head.”

“I… I think you look better dressed this way.” He gestured to Mr. Kavinsky’s body. “Usually you’re wearing your suits or slacks and a button up or even jeans with a button up. Thi-”

“Should I wonder why you pay attention so much to how I dress?”

“I’m observant,” Emilio supplied. “Anyways, those look really nice on you but this,” he gestured again, “looks even better on you.”

Mr. Kavinsky looked down at himself. “Sooo jeans, a long sleeve, and a leather jacket with a pair of Vans is more of a winner than suits and dress shoes?”

“That’s a long sleeved henley,” he supplied. “Although, you could add a little color once in awhile. You could have worn a grey shirt to offset the black jeans and jacket and shoes.”

He was met with a blank stare. Eventually, Mr. Kavinsky muttered “And that is what happens when you have one too many sisters…”

“Oh please… don’t act like you don’t understand exactly what I’m saying. Anyways, I’m just saying you look even better like this. You should add a baseball cap, by the way.”

He stared at him for a moment before he stood and said “I’m going to go drag Joseph down.” Emilio’s gaze followed Mr. Kavinsky as he went upstairs.

Joseph was going to look fantastic when he grew.

  

* * *

 

Joseph followed after his father downstairs to where Emilio was waiting for them. He wondered why Emilio beamed when he saw Joseph’s father. Looking to him, Joseph didn’t quite catch what was going on as his father rolled his eyes and self-consciously touched the brim of his hat. _Okaaay…_

He was missing something obviously. _Whatever I guess._

His mother came up behind them and stooped to kiss Joseph. “Have fun you guys and drive your bashtá out of his mind, okay?”

Emilio jumped with glee at the prospect. “Really? I’ve got your full permission?”

His father shoved Emilio towards the door. “No, no you don’t. Don’t listen to the crazy woman.”

His mother broke into laughter as Joseph said “You might end up on the couch tonight, tatko.” He laughed with his mother when his father glared at him as Joseph followed them to the garage.

“Nah,” he replied, “I’ll just crash your guys’ party. You can make room for one more.”

“Sorry, admission is currently closed.”

“Rude,” his father laughed, unlocking the car and getting in.

Joseph and Emilio jumped into the backseat. “Even _I_ know what this car is,” Emilio revealed with glee.

“Surprise me,” his father murmured as he turned the car on and backed out.

“Duh, it’s an Escalade. Cadillac.”

He could see his father’s smirk in the mirror. “Whoa, whoa Puerto Rican brat. I am truly impressed.”

“Thank you, thank you,” Emilio half bowed in his seat as they drove to enjoy their breakfast.

They were sitting and eating at the diner, each one lost in their food, when Emilio squealed in delight. Both Joseph and his father turned to him to see what was so wonderful when it walked in. Or rather he walked in.

Emilio bounced up from his seat and collided with Mr. Vidal. “Hola, papi!” he shouted in happiness.

Mr. Vidal smiled wide and hugged Emilio close. “Hola! And here I thought I was going to miss your face the next couple days.” There was a woman standing beside him smiling and saying hello to Emilio. Mr. Vidal’s partner if Joseph figured right.

“Hi, Mr. Vidal,” Joseph called from his seat and waved to the detective. He waved back and walked over to them, Emilio in tow and his partner going to order. “Coming for breakfast too?”

“Just coffee for us. Detectives working don’t get the luxury of food sometimes. We gotta run on caffeine. And most of the time, the stuff in the precinct is nasty.”

Emilio sat back down in his seat and offered his plate to his father. “We can share if you want? While you’re waiting for your coffee?”

“Sorry, mijo, we’re in a rush.”

“Just sit your ass down,” Joseph’s father muttered.

Rolling his eyes, Mr. Vidal replied “And hello to you too.”

His father smiled and said “Technically, you walked to our table so you’re supposed to say hello first.” His eyes flicked to Mr. Vidal’s partner as she walked back over from ordering their coffee. “Hello detective.”

Pursing her lips, she muttered “My lord.”

His father gestured to the table. “Informal setting and not business. Ivo is fine.”

“I don’t want you to get the impression that I like you.”

Laughing, his father replied “Jesus no, we can’t have that. May hell freeze over before that ever occurs.”

Emilio scrunched his face. “Why do people not want to like you? I don’t get why people keep pointing out that either no one likes you or they don’t want to.”

Joseph looked to his friend. He didn’t want to explain that people didn’t generally like his father because he was more or less a horrible human being. Joseph and his mother were just the stupid ones who loved him and Venc and Ivet because he practically saved them.

Everyone else was smart enough to keep away.

Smiling to Emilio, his father answered “That’s because people are bastards and refuse to acknowledge my amazingness.” He shrugged and laughed “Or they’re just jealous.”

“Or maybe it’s because you’re so offputtingly conceited,” Mr. Vidal grumbled as he stood behind Emilio and grabbed a bacon off his plate.

“Aw but Raul, you like me. I must not be that offputting.” Mr. Vidal simply sighed instead of dignifying that with a response.

“The people who actually like you are generally too stupid to know any better,” Mr. Vidal’s partner added. Mr. Vidal threw her a glare to which she laughed and corrected “Or know better but are caught in your charm.”

His father was about to respond when Joseph decided they should move on already. “What’s your name, detective?”

Her face brightened as she smiled to Joseph and stuck out a hand which Joseph shook. “That’s right, you and I haven’t officially met yet. Joseph, right?” He nodded with a smile of his own. “Kehaulani Savelio, nice to meet you.”

“Keh-Kehl…” he stuttered on her name. “Could you say that again, please?”

Laughing, she repeated “Kehaulani. Don’t worry about it.”

He grimaced as he tried again. “Kehu…Kehaulani. Kehaulani! Ha, got it. That’s a very pretty name, ma’am. Where’s it come from?”

“Full of charm like your father, aren’t you?” She raised a thick eyebrow, humor filling her face. “It’s Hawaiian. That’s where my family is from. Where they live too. I’m hoping to visit soon actually.”

The islands of surfing and sun. Joseph was definitely jealous. “That’s so cool. Any chance I can come with you?”

“I hadn’t realized Hawaii was somewhere you’d want to go,” his father mumbled around a bite of omelet while Ms. Savelio laughed.

“I’d want to go anywhere. Jersey is…” he shrugged, “Jersey is just Jersey.”

His father actually looked slightly offended. “What’s wrong with Jersey? I love this place.”

“People actually love Jersey?” Mr. Vidal murmured, stealing another bacon from Emilio.

Emilio just shrugged. “It’s not bad. Where we lived in Connecticut was nicer though.”

His father looked incredulously at the people around him. “How can you people not like this place?”

“I mean, I like it,” Joseph began, “But it’s just, you know, Jersey. It’s not like its New York or something. Just plain old Jersey.”

“New York is amazing,” Emilio added. “I’ve only been twice but wow. Totally awesome, for sure.”

“Jersey is New York’s ugly younger brother,” Mr. Vidal said.

Joseph laughed at the look on his father’s face. “You aren’t seriously that offended, are you?”

“I have been living in this state, this city, since I was seventeen. I don’t have a single complaint. Even from when I was living in the streets and under bridges. This is home for me; I think it’s amazing. New York is an overrated piece of shit full of traffic, Italians, and Russians. Fucking overpriced too.”

Everyone laughed at his heartfelt speech as Savelio went to go get her and Mr. Vidal’s drinks. Emilio being Emilio, piped up with a question. “But why is this home? Don’t you miss Bulgaria?”

Apparently, Mr. Vidal must be curious too because he didn’t chastise Emilio’s question like he usually did. His father contemplated his answer while moving around his food a bit before saying “I miss it. I miss it a lot, actually. I miss my house, my friends, my life. Or what my life was. But now my life is here. My wife and my brat. So this is home now.”

“Wow, you should bring out your feelings more often, Mr. Kavinsky. Then people can see why I like you.”

Mr. Vidal flicked Emilio in the head while shaking his head as Joseph’s father started laughing. “You think so?”

“Yup,” Emilio replied. “Do you think you’d ever go visit?”

A dark look covered his father’s face as he shook his head. “I wish but I can’t. It’s not exactly safe for me.”

“Don’t worry, papa,” Emilio laughed, “I can feel you’re glare and I’m not going to ask. Despite how much I really want to,” he added. Emilio’s father replied with an eyeroll that was getting exceedingly good. Habits get picked up easy.

“Vidal? Ready?” Savelio came back with their coffee’s ready to go.

“Aw, can’t you take the day off like Mr. Kavinsky did?” Emilio whined. “You haven’t had one in soo long. You can spend it with us?” His voice was filled with hope and pleading, “Please.”

“Aye, mijo, I’d love to but I can’t,” Mr. Vidal replied in disappointment. “Lo siento, Emilio.”

Joseph couldn’t remember a time when Emilio had ever actually looked sad. It was a depressing sight; maybe that was why Emilio was always trying to make him smile. It was a horrible feeling looking at someone who was depressed. “It’s okay,” Emilio whispered down into his plate.

Mr. Vidal leaned down and placed a kiss on his son’s head. “I promise, soon. We’ll have a day together, okay?”

Emilio just nodded, rubbing away his tears.

He jumped a little when his father spoke up. “God fuck, just take the freaking day off. It’s unnatural seeing your sunshine brat all sad. I think it might actually be pulling my heartstrings.”

“We’re not all so privileged where we can just magically take days off,” Mr. Vidal said with annoyance. Joseph didn’t think he enjoyed being reminded that he depressed Emilio. “We don’t all own our million dollar homes where we don’t have to pay rent or where the electric bill just feels like taking out a penny from our pockets. Some people actually have bills to pay that end up emptying the wallet every month. Sometimes just barely managing them.”

His father was silent for minute before he said “I’ll pay for them.”

They all stared at the mobster sitting at the table with them. His father was always a generous man but he seemed to be on a roll lately. Maybe he thought that by helping people, he’d have a few less hell points on his list.

“Did you just say you’ll pay my bills?”

Nodding, his father replied “Yes. Or if you just want help, I’ll do that too. I always wanted to offer but I thought you might get offended… Although,” he added, “You being offended doesn’t generally bother me. It’s actually kind of funny. But this felt different.”

Mr. Vidal stared in confusion. “Why have you always wanted to offer?”

“Because…” his father gestured outwards with his hands as if he himself didn’t even know. “I just did. I, uh… I like to think we’re friends, actually. And I’d do that for a friend.” Shrugging, his father continued “So, if you need help…I’m here. Anytime for anything, really.”

“Friends.”

Joseph couldn’t believe that his father actually looked uncomfortable. Biting his lip, he murmured “Ya, friends. As everyone constantly points out, I don’t exactly have any. Nobody likes me. But you do, so…I thought that maybe we’re friends.” Averting his gaze, his father mumbled “I guess I was wrong.”

After what felt like a million years, Mr. Vidal said quietly “No, you aren’t. We’re friends.”

“Don’t want your pity friendship, fuckwad.”

“Well, _asshole_ ,” Emilio gaped at his father when he cursed, “It’s not pity. Like you, I’m often inflicted with stupidity. I just needed someone to point out our friendship, is all.”

His father’s face was blank as he looked to Mr. Vidal. But Joseph could read the light in his eyes and smiled at what he found.

Excitement. He was excited at the prospect of a friend. It was a nice look on his father.

“Savelio,” Mr. Vidal turned to his partner who was still holding their now cooling coffees, “You can take my coffee as my apology. I think I’m calling in today.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband


	69. Chapter 68

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget that you can ask a prompt for me to write! Ex. are a chpt in someone else's pov or the scene that happens when something fades to black, uh, anything really. There's a 98% guarantee I'll write it. AU situations too! [sambamart](www.sambamrt.tumblr.com)
> 
> There's a snapshot that goes with this chpt. I was in the mood for writing Raul so...I wrote some Raul. You should read it after this chpt (I mean you don't have to obvs. It doesn't really add anything to the story but I enjoyed it) If anyone needs an incentive, Ivo has a line at the end of it lol
> 
> This chpt was originally supposed to be Joseph/Emilio bonding and it ended up becoming a bit of Ivo/Raul bonding too. I've no clue what happened. I just let my fingers go and they write what they want. Do enjoy and I'll see y'all Thursday!
> 
> _“You’re not fine! Just stop saying it!”_

“I win!” Joseph shouted with glee. He watched with excitement as the game spouted out his line of tickets.

Emilio ran over to him with his handful of tickets. “Check out this stack! I hit the jackpot!”

Smiling, Joseph replied “If I was a good whistler, I’d totally whistle that impressed whistle for you right now.”

“Ha, thanks,” Emilio laughed. “I’m gonna get something for Alicia, I think.”

“Why her and not someone else?” Joseph asked while ripping off his winnings.

Blushing, his friend said quietly “She’s my favorite sister. Don’t tell.”

Breaking into laughter, Joseph said “I got your back, bruh. I woulda thought it was Maria though.”

“Maria is awesome. Well, all my sisters are awesome but me and Alicia just hit on the same wavelength, I guess.” Checking his pockets, Emilio asked “You got anymore tokens? I think I’m all finished.”

Checking his own pockets, he answered “Ya, me too. Guess we’re done then. Let’s go find the chaperones.”

Walking around the arcade, they searched for their fathers to no avail. They did another circle around when they heard a shout.

“Ah, _motherfucker!_ Oh, Jesus, I swear you did that on purpose.”

Emilio looked to Joseph. “Welp, just follow your dad’s curses, huh?”

“Brilliant idea, my friend,” he grinned.

Joseph was surprised when they found their fathers at the air hockey table. His father was clutching his nose and blood was seeping through. Mr. Vidal was laughing and coughed out “I’m sorry. It wasn’t on purpose, I swear. Not to say you didn’t have it coming though.”

“Uh…” Joseph inquired.

His father turned to him, still holding his nose and his entire face alight with amusement. For someone whose nose was bleeding, he didn’t seem angry. Pointing to Mr. Vidal, he said in an odd nasally voice “This fucker aimed for my face.”

A smile still on his face, Mr. Vidal replied “I didn’t. I just maybe might have hit the puck too hard and it flew. No aiming for faces. That counts as a point by the way, so I win.”

“Fuck you,” his father laughed. “No point, bastard.” He removed his hand and smiled to Joseph and Emilio. “Any chance either of you saw a bathroom?”

Emilio pointed, amusement on his face. “That way.” His father muttered a thanks and walked off.

“A heck of a shot, Mr. Vidal,” Joseph snorted. “Fine aim, you’ve got there. Well done, detective, you got your mobster.”

Rolling his eyes, Mr. Vidal mumbled “Don’t talk like that. You sound too much like your father.”

Laughing, Joseph said “Is that a bad thing? Don’t worry I’m not going to be a mobster when I grow up. And even if I wanted to, tatko would never let me.”

“I’d never let you what?” His father came back, hand and nose clean. There was a fresh split on the bridge but his eyes were still glowing with glee.

“Be a mobster.”

“No way in hell.”

Surprise was evident in Mr. Vidal’s tone. “Why not?”

His father stared, “Would you let your son?”

“Obviously not, but it isn’t our family business.”

Shrugging, his father replied “True. But I don’t want to make it mine. Joseph should decide what he wants his future to be, not me. I don’t believe in bloodline heirs and all that shit. I wanted to be a mechanical engineer when I was growing up. My father said either I be a doctor or I have to be heir. And then I lost the choice entirely when my brother actually wanted to be a doctor.”

“You got stuck with having to be the heir,” Mr. Vidal supplied.

“Yup. All I wanted in life was to build and design cars. I didn’t want to run cities and all the stress that comes with it.” He shrugged, “Life chose differently. Even when my father was murdered and I came here I still couldn’t live out what I wanted. Still got stuck in a mob. Fate’s a bitch.” Smiling, he put a hand on Joseph’s shoulder. “Lucky for me, my brat also happens to want to build cars. I get to live my dream through him.”

“Or I wanna be a vet,” Joseph supplied. “Or an animal scientist.”

“Just do all of them. That way you still build cars.”

Emilio looked at Joseph’s father like he had sprouted a second head. “That’s waay too much work.”

“Fine, fine. Do two of them. That way you still build cars.”

Mr. Vidal chuckled “You’re ruining the afterglow of your lovely speech.”

“Shut up, hockey cheater,” his father said cheerily as they went to go cash in their tickets for prizes.

Once they finished from the arcade, they walked over to the toy store. “You each pick one thing,” his father said from behind them where he and Mr. Vidal were talking.

“Really? Thank you!” Emilio bounced up and down in anticipation.

Mr. Vidal opened his mouth to speak but his father covered the open mouth with his hand. “Shut up. I’m buying him something. If I don’t, I don’t get to sleep in my bed tonight. I’d very much like to sleep in my bed. It’s amazingly comfortable.”

Removing the hand, Mr. Vidal muttered “Thank God your hands are clean.”

“Hmm but are they really?” His father laughed while Mr. Vidal shot daggers at him. “Joking, joking. Hands are nice and fresh.”

They wandered through the toy store, playing with everything they touched. Joseph had no idea what he would end up picking. Everything was cool in his mind. Emilio looked like he agreed.

It was only inevitable that their fathers would fight. But play fighting was so much better than their usual bristling.

It started when Mr. Vidal picked up a Nerf gun – set up like a machine gun. A devious smile filled his face as he opened the box and put the bullets in. “Ivo,” he called.

His father turned from where he was standing looking at a batman action figure. Batman was his father’s favorite super hero. The minute he turned, he was shot in the face. “Mother…fucker…”

They were all laughing while his father was shot a few more times until Mr. Vidal was done. When he was finished, a smile of satisfaction covered the one of deviance.

Trying his best not to smile, his father muttered “You finished?”

“Mhhmm.”

Nodding slowly, his father picked up a baseball that someone had left on the shelf and flung it into Mr. Vidal’s stomach.

 _Ouch…_ Mr. Vidal was bending over coughing but, surprisingly, laughing. Straightening, he put in the last few bullets he had saved and shot his foe four times.

In the dick.

His father looked slightly in pain while trying to cup himself but not really because they were in public. Groaning, he muttered “You’re such an ass.”

“I think we’re even, my lord?”

“In your brain maybe, detective. I’m gonna get you back. You just won’t know when.”

The when, it turned out, was when they were all oohing and aahing at the remote-controlled cars. His father had disappeared and then suddenly Mr. Vidal was shot in the back. It wasn’t the same gun, though.

It was bigger. And had a lot more bullets.

Smirking, his father said “I think Imma buy this for myself. It’s fun.” And he fired off all the remaining bullets at Mr. Vidal who took it like a champ.

“Okay, I’ll be the wimp and call truce,” Mr. Vidal muttered. Joseph’s father made a whooping noise. “Such a child, Ivo.”

“I’m pretty sure you shot me first.”

“You should buy the other gun for yourself, papa. That way whenever Mr. Kavinsky comes over, you just shoot him.” Emilio’s smile grew larger as he said “Also, I think I wanna shoot you with it.”

“Ouch, mijo. We’re supposed to be on the same side,” Mr. Vidal laughed.

Walking on, they reached the electronics. And Joseph knew exactly what he wanted. “Tatko?”

“Yup.”

“I know what I want.”

Looking to him, he inquired “Ya?”

Joseph pointed to the game in the glass cabinet. “Please?”

“You sure that’s what you want?”

Emilio came to look. “Oh! I want one too!”

“Maybe pick something else, Emilio,” Mr. Vidal said when he came to look what they were drooling over.

“Why? If he wants that, then no problem.”

Mr. Vidal looked exasperated. “It’s expensive.”

“I’m paying, don’t worry about. I already told you I’m buying.”

“Yes but that is too expensive. He can pick something else.”

His father rubbed his forehead. “We’re having such a good day, please don’t make me pissed right now.”

Huffing, Mr. Vidal murmured “Fine. But I’m going to take advantage now. Buy one for each of my girls too.”

Looking shocked – Joseph couldn’t blame him – his father replied “You sure? You’re having an aneurism just from me wanting to buy Emilio one.”

Shrugging, Emilio’s father said “I can’t go home with just Emilio having one. That’s different than just a toy.”

“Okay. I don’t mind.” His father looked back to Joseph, “First pick in color.”

“Black.” _Duh._

His father laughed “Of course, of course. Good choice. Emilio?”

“Umm,” Emilio looked at the color choices in front of him. “Red,” he said finally.

“And the girls?”

Mr. Vidal spoke up. “Silver for Linda, blue for Alicia, and pink for Maria.”

“Alright.” His father flagged down the worker. “Five Gameboy Sps, please. Black, red, silver, blue, and pink.”

“Sure thing,” the worker smiled. “Any games?”

“Obviously,” his father rolled his eyes. He looked to Joseph and Emilio. “Well?”

They both smiled at each other and said “Pokémon!”

“Which one would you guys like?” The worker asked.

“Ruby, please,” Joseph replied.

“I’ll get sapphire, then,” Emilio said.

His father looked to Mr. Vidal, raising a brow. “For the girls?”

He thought for a minute before saying “Mario, Yoshi, and Star Wars.”

Joseph looked to his friend’s father. “Who likes Star Wars?” It wouldn’t be a lie that he was surprised that one of the girls liked Star Wars. Not that he was saying that girls couldn’t.

“Alicia,” Emilio cut in. “She’s way obsessed.”

The worker took out all they asked for, handing them to Joseph’s father. “Enjoy.”

  

* * *

 

“Where to next, Mr. Kavinsky?” Emilio asked from the back seat. Him and Joseph had been gushing over their new games since they walked out of the mall. Raul didn’t really like the fact that Ivo Just spent more than four hundred dollars for his kids but…

But he had wanted to so it was alright. Even if it wasn’t sitting entirely well in his stomach. His kids’ faces would make up for the ill feeling of feeling like he used someone. Hopefully. _I’m not using but it sure feels like it._

“Lunch I think.” Ivo glanced at Raul, “Lunch?”

Nodding, Raul replied “Lunch is good. But I’m paying.” Ivo rolled his eyes but stayed silent about it. _Thank you God._ “Where to?”

“Uh…what do you guys want?” Ivo flicked a glance back to Joseph. “Brat, what do you want to eat?”

Joseph shrugged which Raul just knew was coming. “I’m not hungry so you guys can pick.”

“When are you ever hungry,” Ivo grumbled under his breath as they waited for the light to change. Looking back at Joseph through the rearview mirror, Ivo tried again. “Okay maybe you’re just not hungry yet. You will be when you smell the food. So what do you want?”

He turned to Emilio beside him. “What do you want?”

Emilio blushed which was something Raul had been becoming very aware of. His son seemed to blush a lot when Joseph was around or, sometimes, even when he was just mentioned. His son was attracted to boys as much as girls.

And he was definitely attracted to Joseph. The only thing that bothered him about that was that Joseph was obviously Ivo’s son. And something told Raul that Ivo probably wasn’t the type to accept that people could love however they please.

“Whatever you want,” Emilio smiled.

“Okay, seriously, people,” Ivo griped. “Just fucking pick something before I stop giving the option.” He turned to Raul. “Pick something.”

“Oh boy… uh…” He had nothing and he was too afraid to tell Ivo. He didn’t feel like earning some backlash. “Okay, okay, um…”

“You’ve got nothing.”

“Yup.”

“You guys know Venc has literally every restaurant memorized and you sorry souls couldn’t think of anything?”

“I’m sure Venc is very thankful for his good metabolism,” Joseph laughed.

Munching on his slice of pizza, Raul couldn’t help but laugh everytime he caught sight of Ivo’s nose. Ivo would either flip him off or roll his eyes in exasperation. Joseph caught one of the exchanges and smirked to Raul, “You know mayko’s gonna get you when she sees tatko’s face, right? She don’t like people hurting her bas-” He quickly put a hand on his mouth, guilt and worry in his features. He kept flicking a gaze to his father.

“Nice save, brat,” Ivo said after a sip of water.

“Sorry,” Joseph muttered. “I was just repeating her sentence.”

Raul couldn’t help but point out “And this why there is no cursing in my house.”

Ivo just rolled his eyes, taking another bite of his slice. “He knows better.”

“Knowing better has nothing to do with it. Sometimes words slip when you’re so used to hearing them.”

“Save the lecture,” Ivo muttered “I’ve heard it enough times from Timotei.”

“Tatko says dyádo is haunting him,” Joseph piped up. The kid was really good at changing subjects.

“I believe it,” Emilio laughed. “I think Mr. Dobrev’s favorite time of day was when he got to chastise Mr. Kavinsky for something.”

Ivo stuck out his fist for a bump with Emilio. “Damn straight, kid.” 

 

* * *

 

Joseph crawled into their fort after Emilio. He was exhausted; maybe he’d get some nice sleep today.

After they had finished lunch, his father had taken them to the warehouse to see all the cars. Him and Emilio had fun going from one car to the next, sitting in the front seats of each. Mr. Vidal drove a few around the block, his face alight with excitement everytime he came back. Joseph thought it would have been ironic if he had gotten pulled over for a speeding ticket.

From the cars, they went and got Italian Ice – the only thing the Italians were good for, his father had grumbled – and then dropped Mr. Vidal off at his precinct. Upon returning home, Joseph and Emilio showed and told his mother everything and then went to get murdered in the snow by his father.

He was a really good snowball thrower. Joseph had actually ended up with a couple bruises on him. Emilio too. But they had gotten in their own well aimed shots at his father – Emilio had actually reopened the split on his nose. Joseph and Emilio had both broken in laughter as his father grumbled that Raul and his brat had it out for his nose.

They had dinner afterwards and now he and Emilio had just finished rebuilding their fort. They made sure to do an extra good job this time. Curling on his side in his blanket, Joseph pulled out his new game with Emilio doing the same beside him. “Bet you I can catch a Pokémon before you.”

“Pft, no way, Kavinsky. This Vidal has amazing Pokémon prowess.”

“Whoever gets first gets the other person’s…” Joseph thought for a minute. “Ooh. Okay whoever catches first gets to shoot the other with tatko’s Nerf gun. All of the bullets.”

Emilio broke into laughter. “So violent. Okay fine. Whoever catches first gets to shoot the other.” He stuck his hand out to seal the deal. “You down?”

Taking the hand, Joseph put his serious face on. “Down, my brother.”

Getting shot by a round of sixteen bullets by a laughing Puerto Rican boy with the prettiest eyes in the world was definitely an experience. The bullets were unpleasant but the laughter and sparkling eyes took the sting of bullets and losing away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband


	70. Chapter 69

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> The Venc snapshot is finally done! I'm not sure if it's exactly what was asked for but...I think it came out good. So check it out!  
> Update on how stuff is going: Welp, this story is so big that sometimes word has issues opening it from my onedrive. Then I told myself that maybe I should have cut up this monster into two stories or something because its so freaking HUGE. It's like unending because there is soooo much ground to cover, you know? I personally love ginormous stories and wish that books I've read hadn't ended and just kept going. But that's me and I'm worried that some of you might find continuing on with me is tedious or something... I really hope not because I promise the juicy drama is coming up (I swear). I love each and every one of you amazing ppl who have stuck with me this far.  
> How's other stuff going: The story that comes after this one has its first chpt finished (you're writing the next one and you haven't even finished this one??? Yes I know, weird), writing a teenage Emilio in his spinoff is enormous amounts of fun, Prokopenko just got buried in the story of his death, the very last story of the series just needs some edits, and I've written minor outlines for Skov and Proko's stories. So that's kinda where everything is standing at the moment.
> 
> Super important step of Joseph's healing process in this one. He deserves to breathe awhile before that juicy drama comes around and shoves the poor soul back into his cycle of depression. Enjoy! Comments are always welcome because I love hearing your guys' opinions and talking with y'all. That's literally the highlight of my days. No joke.  
> Sorry for the ginormous note! Don't hate me
> 
>  
> 
> _"I look like shit."_

Emilio stretched as he awoke, letting out a big yawn while he was at it. Turning to his side, he looked at Joseph as he slept. He remembered when Joseph told him that sleep was such a rare thing; Emilio couldn’t bring himself to wake him. Crawling out of the fort, Emilio stretched again and looked to the clock. He couldn’t believe the time; Emilio didn’t think it was _that early_.

It was only 5:20.

_And yet I feel like I’ve slept for months. Nice and refreshed. Now what to do…_

Waking Joseph was definitely not an option. Emilio wanted him to get as much as sleep as he needed. Slipping back into the fort, he grabbed his Gameboy and walked out of the room, quietly shutting the door behind himself. He crept carefully down the stairs and used and washed up in the bathroom downstairs. When he was finished, he threw himself on one of the living room couches and turned on his game.

He wasn’t sure for how long he was sitting but eventually he heard footsteps on the stairs. Turning, Emilio watched as a dressed Mr. Kavinsky walked to the kitchen after putting on his shoes. Emilio decided he’ll just stay quiet until Joseph’s father noticed him.

“People say good morning when someone gets up,” Mr. Kavinsky said as he took out waffles from the freezer.

“I wasn’t sure you had noticed me. Didn’t want to spook you.” He couldn’t help but laugh a little at the face Mr. Kavinsky gave him as he put his waffles in the toaster. “Okay, maybe I wanted to see if you would notice me or not.”

“Of course I did, don’t be stupid,” Mr. Kavinsky muttered as he pulled out a plate and the syrup. “Are you hungry?”

“I can wait for Joseph and Mrs. Kavinsky.” His stomach chose that moment to let the world know that actually, yes, he was hungry.

A small smiling ghosting his face, Mr. Kavinsky said “Your stomach disagrees.”

Stretching all his limbs and taking a nice refreshing breath, Emilio saved, turned off his game, and walked over to the kitchen. “I guess a waffle would be good.” He got up on one of the stools at the island and watched as Mr. Kavinsky took out his waffles and put one in for Emilio. “Do you always leave this early?”

Sitting on the seat across from him, Mr. Kavinsky poured syrup on his waffles and began to eat. “Ever since Timotei died. Sleep is a foreign thing in this house for everyone, apparently. Probably why you’re awake; it infected you.”

“Probably,” he smiled. “Don’t you guys usually go to church on Sunday though?”

“Generally,” Mr. Kavinsky replied, munching on a bite of waffle. “I usually go every other week now; there’s just not enough goddamn time in this world. Joseph and Vesela go all the time but since you’re here, they won’t. No point in dragging you with them.”

Emilio’s waffle popped up and Mr. Kavinsky made to stand but he stopped him. “I got it,” Emilio said, jumping off his stool. Grabbing a plate from the cabinet, he put his waffle and grabbed a fork. “Can I have some chocolate milk?”

“Of course. Put me some juice while you’re at it. Make yourself useful.”

Pouring the juice and then making his milk, Emilio put the cups on the island and grabbed his plate. Or at least he thought he had grabbed his plate. Turns out Emilio wasn’t holding it as tight as he thought he was as it dropped and shattered on the floor. There was glass all over the floor along with his waffle.

“Sorry,” he cringed. “It slipped.” He bent down to pick up the pieces when Mr. Kavinsky suddenly stood and lifted him up. Emilio never felt so confused as Joseph’s father put him down a foot away. “Uh…”

“Don’t want you stepping on the glass,” Mr. Kavinsky murmured as he began to pick up the pieces of the broken plate. “Accidents happen, no worries.”

“Oh well… let me help clean up?” He made to walk back but Mr. Kavinsky put up his hand to stop him.

“I got it. Don’t need you cutting yourself,” Mr. Kavinsky said while picking up the last of the large pieces. “Broom’s in the closet in the hallway. Go get it.”

Getting the broom, he handed it to Joseph’s father and watched as he swept whatever was left into the dustpan. Emilio flipped the lid for the garbage where the glass was dumped and Mr. Kavinsky handed him the broom to put away. On his way back, Emilio slammed into Joseph who had just come down the stairs.

“Oops,” Emilio laughed. Joseph rolled his eyes and pushed Emilio back. “Morning.”

“Morning,” Joseph yawned as they walked to the kitchen together. “Morning, tatko.”

Mr. Kavinsky looped Joseph into a hug and kissed his head. “Morning, brat. You should still be sleeping. It’s too early.”

Joseph yawned again. “Whatever you guys broke woke me up.”

So much for not wanting to wake him up. Blushing, Emilio muttered “Sorry. That was me; my plate slipped.” His friend just hummed and looked like he was about to drop to sleep any second now. “Maybe you should try sleeping again? You look exhausted.”

“I’m always exhausted,” Joseph murmured sleepily as he wobbled to the couches. He rolled onto one and shoved his face into the back cushion. “I wish someone would just drug me to sleep…”

“Maybe we could give you cough syrup,” Mr. Kavinsky piped in, washing his plate and cup.

“What does cough syrup do,” Joseph mumbled from the couch, his words muffled from the cushion.

Drying his hands and putting on his jacket then his overcoat, Mr. Kavinsky answered “It’ll make you drowsy. Some people fall asleep from it. Maybe we should try.” He walked over to Joseph, kissing him and saying “I’m off. Have a good day.”

“Bye. Say hi to Venc and both of you be safe. Tetíncho too.”

Laughing and walking to the garage, Mr. Kavinsky said “God, if being safe was that simple. You guys have fun.” And with that he left.

“Can you lock the door behind him, please?” Joseph yawned.

“No probs, bob.” Locking up, he plopped himself back on the couch he was on before. “So what are our master plans for the day?”

  

* * *

 

Joseph finished his snowman’s body; now he needed a face. He stuffed the carrot for his nose and realized he needed rocks.

He needed rocks.

Biting his lip, Joseph tried to relax before he panicked. The last time he had made a snowman – the last time he had needed _rocks_ …

Was when he was snatched.

Clenching his fists, he tried to breathe the way his parents had showed him so many times over. But he just couldn’t manage it. His breath was coming out in short gasps and all he could see was Daniel’s smiling face. Hear Anton’s nasty voice.

_Head between my knees and steady my breaths._ Joseph plopped onto the freezing snow, shoving his head between his pulled up knees. He slowed his breaths carefully, as best as he could manage.

“Joseph?”

He jumped a little when a hand touched his shoulder; it took his brain a minute to register that it was Emilio. “I’m fine,” he mumbled.

Emilio sat down beside him and hugged his shoulders. “Lying is unhealthy, you know.”

“I’m not lying, I’m fine.”

“Joseph.”

“Fine, Emilio. I’m perfectly fine.”

Surprise struck him when Emilio abruptly stood. “You’re not fine! Just stop saying it!” Joseph looked up and couldn’t believe that Emilio actually looked annoyed. He’s never seen that look on his friend’s face before.

It was unnatural. That and the shouting. When did Emilio ever yell?

“You’re not okay! When have you ever been? Ever since the day we met, Joseph, you weren’t fine. When will you just stop lying to me? I’d rather hear ‘I don’t want to tell you’ than ‘I’m fine’ or ‘everything’s okay.’”

Joseph knew his eyes were probably saucers right now. He didn’t like frustrated Emilio; he didn’t like the fact that Emilio seemed angry with him. His friend was the only person who never seemed to get angry at him.

Except now he was.

“What do you think friends are for? They’re the people that you tell things to. They’re the people you trust. And do you want to know what’s given in return? It’s care and love and support. Because then your hurts will be my hurts because Imma help you with them. You don’t have to be alone or suffer alone. That’s why friends exist, Joseph. To make sure that people don’t have to be alone.”

He stared as Emilio went up the deck stairs and into the house. If there was one person he trusted, it was Emilio. Joseph trusted him so much that it was crazy. So why hadn’t it ever occurred to him to tell Emilio anything? There wasn’t a single thing he could think of that he had ever actually told Emilio. He was pretty sure he knew more about Emilio than Emilio knew of him.

Gnawing his lip, Joseph got up and walked into the house. Zipping off his jacket, he tossed it on the couch and ran upstairs. He stopped in his doorway and looked at Emilio lying on the bed, staring at the ceiling. Walking over, Joseph got up on the bed and laid down beside his friend.

“I’m sorry I’m a bad friend,” he whispered. “I’ve never had one before. I don’t know how it works.”

Emilio turned and looked at him then turned back to the ceiling. “I already guessed that but see, that’s not something you ever bothered mentioning. I mean, what do I even know about you, Joseph? Nothing. Because you never tell me anything, ever. And that, that secrecy? It hurts.”

All he could feel right now was guilt. “It’s not that I don’t trust you, it’s just… I don’t know…” Emilio was silent, still staring up. Time to bare some of his tarnished soul if he wanted his friend. “I get bullied a lot in school. Especially by this one kid. I got suspended this week for two weeks except because I missed so much of the school year already, they dropped me. So no more school for the rest of the year and I have to do third grade again.”

His friend still wasn’t saying anything; he wasn’t even moving besides the occasional blink.

“I’m terrified of the dark. I haven’t had a good night's sleep in more than a year. I’m afraid to be alone. I don’t like being around older men; they make me nervous. I broke my left arm. I’m on antidepressants for anxiety issues and panic attacks although sometimes they don’t work for the attacks. I have nightmares that sometimes I wake up screaming from. All of these are because…” _Care and love and support… That’s what friends are for._

“Because I was kidnapped last year.”

  

* * *

 

Emilio froze. That was not what he was expecting to hear at all. Not even close. At first he thought he heard wrong or something but no.

Joseph just said he had been kidnapped.

Sitting up slowly, Emilio looked to his best friend in the whole wide world. “What?”

Biting his lip, Joseph sat up and stared into his lap. “I was kidnapped in February last year,” he whispered. “I’ve never talked about it with anyone before. Obviously, my family knows but I’ve never told them anything about it ever. I keep thinking that if I just keep pushing it to the back of my brain, it’ll be forgotten. It doesn’t ever go away though.” He gave a small sad laugh, “I don’t think it ever will.”

Taking Joseph’s hands in his, Emilio murmured “Thank you for trusting me with it. It means more to me than you could ever guess. And you don’t have to say more if you don’t want to. But know that talking helps shuffle things away in your mind. Because then it’s used up and processed and you don’t need it anymore.”

Joseph lifted his head and his eyes were searching Emilio’s. He wondered what his friend was looking for exactly but he must have found it because he said quietly “I was playing in front of the house in the snow. I was making a snowman and needed rocks for his smile. Mayko gave me permission to look down the street, so I did because I used to always play outside. I used to walk home by myself too. I didn’t find any so I started walking back when I bumped into a guy a-and,” Joseph bit his lip hard as tears welled in his eyes, “He gave me a weird feeling so I ran but he tackled me which is how my arm broke and then…then I started yelling but he put a hand on my mouth and hit my head on the floor.”

“Joseph, you can stop.” Emilio didn’t like seeing tears in his eyes.

Shaking his head, he continued “When I woke up it was pitch black and I threw up a lot and then this other guy came into the little room and gave me food and water and talked to me. When I didn’t answer, he hit me. Turned out he used to work for my dad but my dad killed his brother so they took me for retaliation. They called him and they decided on a ransom. Then I spent the night in the horrible dark closet and the man who fed me beat me up a little and then everytime I was about to sleep, he’d threaten me with a knife.”

Tears were flooding down Joseph’s face as he kept going. “I’d never been so happy in my life to see my dad. Never ever. I didn’t even care that dyado was there; it just mattered that tatko was there because it meant he actually cared. I never wanted to let go when he hugged me. Him and dyado killed the two guys. I listened to their bodies drop on the floor; I’ll never forget that noise. I-It was so horrible.” Joseph broke down into sobs that Emilio couldn’t stand hearing.

Wiping his own tears away, Emilio pulled Joseph into the tightest hug he could ever manage, letting his friend cry all his horrible memories into his shirt. He kept rubbing Joseph’s back like his parents did whenever he cried. It always helped Emilio calm down so hopefully it'd help Joseph too.

They sat like that for a long while until Joseph’s sobs were quiet sniffles. Eventually, Joseph mumbled out “Your shirt is totally gross now.”

Laughing, Emilio replied “That’s okay. Washing machines work wonders. It’s truly amazing.”

“Thank you.”

He scrunched his eyebrows in confusion. “For what? Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me.”

“Thank you for listening. And for the care and the love and the support. And your shirt.”

Emilio laughed once more and hugged Joseph tighter. “You’re welcome, my homie.” 

 

* * *

 

She splashed cold water on her face, hoping it would take away the puffiness her crying had caused. Vesela stared at herself in the mirror; she looked a little better. She didn’t want the boys knowing that she had been in tears. To know that she had been listening in on a very private conversation when she had only meant to ask if they wanted lunch.

Listening to her baby’s pain and suffering was the most horrible thing she had ever heard. It even topped his terrified screams when he awoke from nightmares.

Joseph had never told them anything about his kidnapping and neither her nor Ivo had ever pushed him to. They wanted him to feel ready, not rushed. But they were worried by the fact that he had been bottling it up for a year now.

And Emilio had managed to bring it out. He had managed to make Joseph feel comfortable and safe – something her and Ivo never seemed able to do. And for a nine year old little boy, he handled being the support better than she could have ever managed.

“Thank you God for blessing Joseph with such an amazing friend.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband


	71. Chapter 70

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
>  
> 
> ....ya I got nothing today....  
> Enjoy!
> 
>  
> 
> _“You trying to lie to me or yourself? Because we both know that isn’t true.”_

The months flew by which, Joseph thought, was a good thing. If time felt like it was flying it was because the last some months had actually been good. Everything was settled nice and peacefully. If there was one thing he wasn’t happy about the passing of the days was that school was about a month away now. And he was stuck doing third grade again.

Joseph realized the wisdom in what his father had told him all that time ago – going to school was a much better idea than having to repeat. He sighed from his thoughts as he sat in his Tétka’s backyard, waiting for someone to say that it was time to eat. Supposedly, he was playing with Andrey and Anka. They actually had been but then he had gotten mad when Andrey had hit him in the face with the soccerball.

On purpose. His cousin was an extreme sore loser.

Anka had wanted him to tell but Joseph told her that it wasn’t worth it. She disagreed and told him to look in the mirror – half of his face was apparently bruised. That would explain all the throbbing tingling he had been feeling for the past fifteen minutes. The side of his lip was kind of busted too but he already knew that part without looking. It’d be sad if he didn’t know that.

His reluctance to cause issues made her mad, so now they were each playing in a corner away from each other.

Family.

Sighing once more, Joseph looked up as his tetíncho called out from the house for them to come eat. Going inside gave him an ill-feeling in his stomach. His parents were not going to be happy when they saw his face. If it was up to Joseph, he’d just let it all go. He had learned that avoiding conflict, even at his own expense, was the best course of action.

Getting up, he followed his cousins and made a beeline for the bathroom before anyone saw his face. Joseph had to check just how bad the damage was. He closed the door halfway and flipped on the light switch. “Oh Jesus…”

He hoped it healed before school. Bruises didn’t take longer than a month, did they? Because his face was not nice to look at.

Turning his head to the side, Joseph tried to get a better view, leaning as close to the mirror as he could. His eye looked bad too. “I look like shit,” he murmured to himself. Life being life and Joseph having bad luck in general, it seemed it wasn’t just to himself as his father pushed the door the rest of the way open and walked in.

“I didn’t just hear that word come out of your mouth,” he said while looking down at his phone, typing something. Hopefully, he wouldn’t look up until Joseph got out. He could see his messy face later; his father didn’t need to see it now.

Gnawing his lip as he turned to not face his father, Joseph said nervously “No…y-you must have heard wrong.”

“Oh, I hope so. I imagine your Tétka’s soap tastes worse than ours does.” He was still typing as Joseph was carefully working his way around him, mindful to keep his bruises facing away.

“If it did happen, I’d say it won’t happen again and I’m sorry.” The door had never felt so far in his Tétka’s huge bathroom.

“Mhmm,” his father hummed, closing his phone and slipping it into his pocket. He still didn’t look up at the mirror. Just turned on the water and washed his hands.

Joseph breathed a sigh of relief as he made it out of the bathroom only to hold his breath when his father called him back. “Yes?” He stopped where he stood but didn’t walk back into the bathroom.

He could feel his father poke his head out behind his back. “Why do you look like shit?”

“Lack of sleep…”

His father was quiet for minute before saying “Turn around.” Sighing in defeat, Joseph turned and watched his father’s reaction upon seeing Joseph’s face. “What the fuck happened to your face?”

“Sports can be dangerous,” he answered ambiguously. Sure, he was mad at Andrey but he didn’t want him to get in trouble. It wasn’t worth it.

Dragging him into the bathroom and shutting the door behind them, his father asked again. “Your face?”

“An accident.”

“Don’t lie to me a third time. Your face.”

Huffing, Joseph muttered “I was talking to Anka and Andrey kicked the ball at my face. It’s not a big deal.”

“As you so eloquently put it, you look like shit.” His father looked angry now.

“It’ll heal. I don’t wanna ruin Tétka’s birthday. It’s not worth it.”

Rolling his eyes, his father said “She’s had thirty-three of them before this one; she’ll survive. I know for a fact that if you had done this,” he gestured to Joseph’s mess of a face, “to her spoiled brat, she’d raise hell.”

He _really_ didn’t want his father to raise hell. Especially not on his Tétka’s birthday. “Tatko, all I need is an ice pack. It’s just bruises. Just please let it go.”

His father was getting annoyed by Joseph’s constant desire of wanting to let everything go. He clenched his jaw and muttered “Fine. But no guarantees what mayko will do.”

Joseph knew he couldn’t stop her without them talking privately. They were about to go to the dining room where they were all sitting; there was no private. “If she wants to ruin her sister’s birthday than that’s her business.”

“You’re an idiot, you know that?”

Shrugging off the words – he told himself that his father didn’t mean anything by what he said – Joseph murmured “Sorry.”

Sighing, his father hugged him close. “Don’t apologize; you haven’t done anything.” Taking Joseph’s hand, he said “Let’s go eat before those fatasses take everything.”

They walked to the dining room and each took a chair. So far, nobody paid attention to his face. Yet. His mother and Tétka were busy talking.

“It’s weird having a birthday without tate,” Tétka Nikol murmured. Joseph agreed.

His birthday party a couple months ago was not the same without his grandfather. It was unnatural not having his presence there. Joseph had spent the morning of his birthday curled up and crying tears into his pillow. He had had the sudden urge to tell his parents to cancel the party because it wasn’t a birthday without his grandfather. But his mother had curled up with him for an hour and convinced him otherwise, calming him down enough to where the tears would stop falling.

So he knew exactly what his Tétka meant.

“That’s what we said about Christmas. And Andrey’s and Joseph’s birthdays too. And we’ll say it about mine when it comes up,” his mother replied.

“And mine,” Anka piped up.

His mother smiled to her and said “And yours.” Sadly, Anka was in the chair beside him so his mother froze upon seeing him. “What the hell happened to your face?”

His Tétka and tetíncho looked to him, shock also eclipsing their features. Andrey just ignored everything and continued eating but Anka was more than happy to tell the story.

“Me and Joseph were talking and then Andrey kicked the ball at his face. He was still mad that he lost to us.”

Anger flashed through his mother’s eyes as she looked to Andrey who kept his head down to his plate. “Andrey.”

Huffing, he looked up like he didn’t have a care in the world. “He should’ve been paying attention. It was an accident.”

Joseph had forgotten to make his father promise to not make it an issue. “You aimed at his face. Was he supposed to catch it with his mouth or something?”

Andrey looked a little worried that his tetíncho had joined the conversation. “It was an accident.”

“People apologize when accidents happen,” Anka muttered. “You just laughed and said ‘oops.’”

His father opened his mouth to say something but Joseph cut him off. “It’s not worth the fighting. Accidents happen.”

Anka looked at him like he was crazy. “Joseph, we both know it wasn’t an accident. Don’t cover for his stupid butt.”

“Hey,” Tetíncho Yulian warned.

Her annoyance was turned to her father. “Tatko, if Andrey is going to hit someone in the face then he’s gotta get the consequences that come with it.”

“Yes, he does,” his Tétka Nikol spoke up. “And he will. He can start by going to his room and not enjoying lunch with the rest of us. No dessert either. And enjoy your things while you can because I’ll be up in a bit to take them.”

“Mayko!” Andrey bounced in his seat, frustration taking over. Anger too. “That’s not fair.”

“Because what happened to my face was totally fair,” Joseph couldn’t help but mumble.

Andrey turned his vicious glare to him. “Shut up. No one’s talking to you, you depressed girl. You need to get over yourself one of these days, you know. Big whoop, you got kidnapped and dyádo was my grandfather just as much as he was yours. So stop acting like the world revolves around you and your stupid feelings. Everyone treats you like you’re something special. You’re not, okay? You’re just a fragile little bitch.” And with that he stood, walked up to his room, and slammed the door.

Everyone was silent and staring at where Andrey was only a second ago. Joseph knew what it felt like to release all those pent up feelings that you’ve been saving. He just didn’t think that Andrey was so mad at him. Joseph didn’t even understand what his cousin was so angry about; what he said barely even made sense. Who treated him like he was special? Joseph couldn’t remember a day when he felt like he was special. If Andrey thought that, then maybe he should trade places with Joseph and actually see what it was ‘being special.’

Because generally, it just meant living in hell.

And he couldn’t help it that he was fighting depression; Joseph felt like he was doing better too. His days seemed brighter lately. If it was one of his bad days, he’d be in tears from what his cousin had said but all he was feeling right now was confusion.

Once everyone recovered from their shock, his Tétka shot out of her chair and went up to Andrey. Probably to yell at him. Everyone else was looking at him, waiting to see his reaction. “Joseph,” his mother murmured after a few minutes of silence.

He looked up into the concern of her eyes and asked in confusion “Why would he think people treat me like I’m special? _Who_ _treats me like I’m special?_ ”

His mother flinched. It was only then he realized that he technically just insulted his parents. That wasn’t good. And the fact that his father hadn’t said a single thing yet didn’t help his nerves either. His stomach was bubbling and he felt a little light headed.

Joseph thought maybe he was panicking. Why would he be panicking? What’s there to panic about? He had no idea but he knew he was going to throw up right about now and if he did that on his father again, he’d really have a reason to panic.

Those left on the table – his parents, his tetíncho, and Anka – were surprised when he suddenly jumped from the table and ran to the bathroom. Luckily, he made it to the toilet before spewing out the contents of his poor abused stomach. Bending his head and throwing up made his face hurt more than before.

Coughing out whatever else he could manage, Joseph slammed the door shut and locked it before someone showed up. What he needed now was air and time to himself. There wasn’t exactly air in the bathroom but there was a window and that would have to do.

Washing up, he flushed the toilet and closed the lid, sitting down upon it. Joseph didn’t understand why he still felt horrible. Not the horrible that comes with throwing up but just horrible. His head was fuzzy, his nerves were buzzing, and breathing was an effort. Something was making him panic and he had no clue what it was. How was he supposed to calm himself if he didn’t know what the hell the problem was?

Besides that, how was he even panicking? His medicine was supposed to not let that happen and yet lately it had happened a couple times. The doctor he had gone to last week told them it was time to ween him off them because he couldn’t stay on them forever. But they weren’t supposed to start that until next week.

“Don’t panic,” he whispered. “There’s nothing to panic about. What’s wrong with you?” Joseph stood and began pacing, trying to calm himself. “Nothing, nothing, nothing…”

Maybe locking himself in was a bad idea. The only thing that ever helped him through a panic attack was his parents. He needed them or one. Whatever. Joseph just needed someone right now. His father was always looking for ways to gain points with Joseph lately – yes, he had noticed – so he might as well make himself useful right now.

Unlocking the door and opening it, he shouted “Tatko!”

Joseph had no idea what Andrey thought his life was and the specialty of it but if he wanted it so bad, he could have it. Thoroughly sick of it, is what Joseph was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband


	72. Chapter 71

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> I forgot to say 'see you Thursday' on Sunday. My bad. But here we are!  
> If I ever forget to tag something or you think I should have tagged something that maybe I didn't think of, make sure you let me know.  
> Oh! So, I officially outlined the story to it's end. Usually I just type and go, you know? Let the story lines just sort of happen. But I was super bored in Econ yesterday, so I decided to figure out exactly where I'm going. I approximated how many chpts a certain story arc would take and what occurs in each. This story is going to end when he turns 15 and moves to Henrietta, meaning we're going to span in total 8 years of his life (damn) and since he's turning ten soon, we got another 5 years to cover (goddamn... it's only been three???) But my final count is 140. Chapters. We're currently at 71 so we got another 70ish (holy crap). But this is of course an estimate so it could really be between 130-140. But I mean, that's good I think for 8 years? I don't think it's excessive (hopefully you guys don't either). So ya... just thought you guys should know that yes, there is an endgame in sight. The stuff I got planned is pretty exciting I think.  
> And from there? From there we go to Nightmare in Henrietta (its a working title but not bad?) It def won't be as huge as this one. Less ground to cover. While it is being posted, Emilio's story will be too (no title yet). Possibly a couple of the dream packs' stories too. Handling that many at one time will be interesting...
> 
> Enjoy today's chpt after this huge ass note (you guys should be used to that by now haha)
> 
> _“Mmm, I’m a child. My opinions have no worth in adult conversations.”_

Ivo knocked and opened the door of the bathroom, finding Joseph on the floor with his head between his knees, breathing hard. Closing the door and locking it behind himself, he went to Joseph and lowered himself to the floor beside him.

“I think I’m gonna have a panic attack,” Joseph mumbled through his breaths. “Or I’m having one already or something.”

Sighing, Ivo wrapped and arm around Joseph and said “You can’t have panic attacks. You know that. Medicine takes care of it.” He tried to ignore the fact that he knew that sometimes the medicine didn’t do shit.

“Ya, well maybe the medicine isn’t working or something because I’m telling you I’m on the verge of a breakdown.” As he grew older, Joseph attitude was becoming nastier by the day. Ivo really only had himself to blame for Joseph’s attitude issues. His kid was going to be an extreme pain in the ass of a teenager. He could tell already.

“First off, watch your tone and remember who you’re speaking to,” Ivo muttered.

Joseph huffed in what sounded like annoyance. “I’m telling you I’m going to have a panic attack and that’s what you’re worried about?”

Stretching out one of his legs, he said “It doesn’t give you the right to be disrespectful. So watch how you speak. Now, why do you think you’re going to have an attack?”

“If I knew, I’d calm myself down, don’t you think?”

His tone was starting to piss off Ivo now. “Joseph.”

He was surprised when Joseph suddenly stood and turned to glare at him. “You’re not listening! You’re just worried about something stupid!”

“Not wanting to be disrespected by my child is not stupid. If I wanted a disrespectful brat, I would’ve adopted Andrey. Calm down and remember who you’re speaking to.” Joseph groaned in frustration but stayed quiet. “What is wrong.”

His son began to pace, biting his lip while he did. He began to run his hands through his hair and stopped in front of Ivo with a helpless huff. Throwing his hands in the air, Joseph whined “I don’t know. It’s just-”

“Just…”

Another whine erupted from Joseph as he plopped on the floor, putting his head between his knees once more. “I don’t know… Something is just…just making me tick. I don’t know but…” His breathing picked up again – shallow and quick.

“Alright, alright,” Ivo scooted closer and carefully unwrapped Joseph from himself. He tilted his head up to look at him. “Breathe with me, okay?” Ivo waited for a nod before he breathed through his nose and held the breath. Joseph followed suit and then Ivo slowly blew the breath back out. “Okay?”

Joseph nodded and did it for a few minutes until he was a little more in control of his breaths. He was silent for a time before he murmured “I’m so tired of this.”

Ivo dragged Joseph into a hug where they sat. “You’re getting better.”

“You trying to lie to me or yourself? Because we both know that isn’t true,” Joseph said quietly into his chest. “I just had a panic attack about nothing. While on medication. That’s not better; I’m still stuck.”

“Baby steps, Joseph,” Ivo murmured into his hair. “Little by little. You just got to take it a day at a time. When’s the last time you had a nightmare? It’s been awhile. That’s called progress.”

Pressing himself closer into Ivo, Joseph grumbled “Wow, one battle won after a year and a half. Amazing.”

“Don’t knock yourself. You also stay with your tetíncho and Raul. You wouldn’t dare before. Hell, you wouldn’t even go to Emilio’s house at first, even if Raul wasn’t home. You’ve made some good progress, brat.”

“Ya…I guess…”

“Baby steps,” he murmured into Joseph’s hair. “We take it one day at a time.”

  

* * *

 

“Cake’s good,” he murmured to his Tétka. It wasn’t weird funky fancy flavors which was probably why it was good. It was just yellow cake with this amazing chocolate mousse in the middle and chocolate frosting all around. Colored frosting made a design on the top.

She smiled to him from across the table. “Thank you! Made it myself.”

Joseph couldn’t help but laugh. He looked to his tetíncho and said “You made her make her own birthday cake? For shame, tetíncho.” He smirked then and decided that since his tetíncho always enjoyed putting Joseph’s father down, Joseph would take it upon himself to lower him a notch. “Tatko would never let mayko make her own because it’s _her_ special day, not his. He’d spend hours making sure he made her an amazing cake.”

His parents started to laugh as his tetíncho’s face grew red. Even his Tétka had a smile on her face while trying to keep done the giggle threatening to come up. His Tetíncho Yulian smiled a stiff smile and turned to Joseph’s father. “Are you proud that you’re making your son into an asshole like yourself?”

Surprisingly that made his father laugh harder. Taking a bite of his cake, he pointed his fork at Tetíncho Yulian. “If it means taking down your blown up ego a few notches and putting you to shame, then yes, yes it does.”

“I can’t wait to taste the cake you’re going to make for Tétka Vesela on her birthday, tetíncho,” Anka smiled.

His father whistled and laughed “Caught your mother’s snark, huh?”

“There’s no catching it, Ivo,” his mother cut in, her beautiful smile on her face. “We Dobrev women are born with it to make sure we put our men in their places when their assholery takes over.”

“Ouch, mayko,” Joseph laughed. “Unlike the rest of the men at this table and the one upstairs, I’m not that bad.”

His tetíncho raised his eyebrows at him, a look of disappointment on his face. “Your manners seem to be lacking lately.”

Joseph looked at him in confusion. “I was getting in on the joke? I’m not aiming to be rude on purpose.”

“It’s a joke, Yulian. Don’t get so pissy,” his father jumped in.

“A child shouldn’t be joking with adults like that. They just end up thinking it’s okay to be disrespectful because everyone laughs.”

Now Joseph was just starting to get annoyed. “I’m not a baby, tetíncho. I know the difference. But if you’d like an apology, I’m sorry.” He shrugged and turned back to his slice of cake. “I just won’t joke with you.”

“That was one of the saddest apologies I’ve ever heard. The saddest one came from your father. Don’t aim for very high standards, do you?”

Rolling his eyes at his cake, Joseph just ignored him and turned back to his Tétka before his father voiced his anger at his tetíncho. “Did you get it your first try?”

She looked relieved about the change of subject. “No, it took me twice. Well, me and Anka twice.”

“I did the mixing. Oh! And the frosting,” Anka added. “Good, right?”

He smiled the irresistible smile he had been practicing to his cousin beside him. “Yup, really good.”

“You, dear child, are going to be a charmer,” his Tétka laughed. “You’ll have all the girls wanting you.”

Joseph just gave her a laugh; he didn’t know what to say. If she had said all the boys? Then he’d be blushing like crazy. He definitely wanted the boys wanting him.

“He’s not going to be a charmer,” his mother snorted. “He already is one.”

“Of course!” His Tétka smirked. “My bad, Joseph. I forgot you already achieved the levels of complete charm.”

Taking a sip of milk, he smiled “Tatko is a fantastic teacher.”

His father whooped and stuck his fist out for Joseph while his tetíncho just groaned. “Brat knows how it is. If anyone in the world is going to beat me in the charms department, it just might be you.”

“Mmm, I already beat you, like, fifty years ago. Sorry to burst your bubble, Lord Kavinsky.”

  

* * *

 

He finished getting himself ready for bed when he realized that he had never apologized to his parents about his comment earlier in the day. They may not treat him extra specially but they did try – usually – and they deserved credit for that. As he had told his mother, he was grateful for them everyday. Joseph didn’t want them thinking otherwise.

Grabbing Mr. Cat and Lady Calico with Peanut following, Joseph went to his parents’ room and knocked. Once he heard his father say come in, Joseph opened up and walked in with his three cats. His mother looked like she was asleep on his father’s chest who was reading over some papers while half sitting-lying down.

His father flicked him a glance as Joseph climbed up on the bed, Peanut jumping after him. “What’s up?”

Poking his mother, he murmured “Are you sleeping?”

One sparkly green eye opened, filling with amusement. “If I had been, I’m not now.”

“Okay good because I wanna tell you guys something.”

Both of her eyes opened and she sat up, worry filling her features. “Is something wrong?”

Shaking his head quickly, Joseph replied “No, nothing’s wrong but I wanted to say that I’m sorry.”

“Sorry for…” his father trailed curiously.

Hugging his cats close, he murmured into Mr. Cat’s raggedy fur “For making you guys think that I thought you didn’t treat me good. You guys aren’t exactly amazing but… you’re mine and I’m thankful for having you guys.” He cringed when he realized that he still sort of insulted them. “I mean-”

His mother interrupted him by dragging him into a hug. “I’m thankful everyday for having your adorableness. And there’s nothing to apologize for but thank you and it’s accepted nonetheless.”

Joseph looked to his father, waiting for his reply. His face was blank as he stared at Joseph. “How do I get to the amazing level?”

Blushing, he scratched his arm nervously. “Well… you’re already kind of working your way up.”

“Ya?”

Nodding, Joseph replied “Ya. Umm…”

Smirking, his father said with a raised brow “You can say it.”

“Umm… okay,” he sat up from his embrace with his mother, “I-I like you a lot more than I used to.”

He could have sworn he saw a spark of happiness in his father’s face before it went back to that blank mask. “Really?”

Taking this carefully because he knew he was treading into dangerous territory, Joseph said “Yes. Um, b-before… before the… before I was kidnapped I didn’t really like you at all. You were always mean and I was afraid of you.” His father didn’t do or say anything except blink so Joseph continued on. “But then after… I don’t know maybe…”

“Maybe I realized how horrible my life would be if I lost you,” his father interrupted. “Maybe I realized that while I had never wanted a child in the first place, it didn’t mean that I couldn’t want him later on. Want an actual relationship. And maybe after seeing Raul with Emilio, I was a little jealous and wanted better for us.”

Joseph stared at his father in shock – that was extremely close to everything Joseph had thought. And it’d be a lie if he said that he wasn’t jealous of Emilio and his family sometimes. The way Emilio and his father always just seemed to click right. Even him and his mother weren’t the way Emilio and Mrs. Vidal were. The fact that his father was aware of all this was… nice. It meant he understood, right?

“But… things are better now, aren’t they?” His father asked. Joseph was sure he heard some kind of hopefulness in his father’s voice. “You like me more and you’re not scared? Maybe I’m not so mean anymore?”

Scooting closer, Joseph embraced his father tight around his neck, sitting down into his lap. “I like you a lot more, tatko,” he murmured into his father’s shoulder. “Like waay more than I used to. And you’re a lot nicer too. But I’m not going to lie to you, sometimes when you’re mad, you still scare me.” Gnawing his lip, he whispered “I like not having seen the belt in so long. I get scared that you’re gonna start using it again.”

His father stiffened for a minute then hugged him tight, resting his head atop Joseph’s. “Never again. I promise. Not in a million fucking years will I ever do that to you again.” Joseph’s heart felt a little lighter upon that promise. “You shouldn’t have to be afraid of me. And I guess for me to reach the amazing level, that’s something I gotta work on.”

He definitely shouldn’t have to be afraid. Emilio wasn’t afraid of his father and they were what Joseph saw as the ultimate goal for him and his father.

Too bad he didn’t think they’d ever reach that level. Amazingness was just too high for his father to get to. But what they were at for the time being was a thousand times better than where they were before.

They weren’t _that_ bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband


	73. Chapter 72

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> Happy Sunday, y'all. Thank you to each and every one of you guys that are still with me! Special thanks to those who enjoy chatting with me! The happiest time of day is when the number in the parentheses beside 'inbox' has a number besides zero in it.
> 
> No announcements, I think... Just enjoy ;) Oh and I'll see you guys Tuesday!
> 
>  
> 
> _“This whole conversation is a load of bull. And if anyone knows about his bullshit more than anybody else, it’s Joseph, don’t you think?”_

Joseph rolled his eyes as Venc said yet _another_ cheesy line to Johanna. “Jesus Christ,” he muttered under his breath and giving a quick glance to see if either of his parents heard him. But the phrase was warranted – this was getting ridiculous. They were really starting to get on his nerves.

Of course, Johanna laughed with a blush darkening her cheeks as she curled a hair behind her ear. She whispered something to Venc, causing him to laugh and making her blush even more. Joseph wanted to groan but he felt like that would be rude to Venc who looked so happy. It looked like his father really wanted to groan too. His mother was just smiling with her eyes sparkling, probably amused by ‘young love.’

It was sickening. Maybe it was because Joseph knew he’d never feel happiness like that. Even if he met the sweetest, most amazing, beautiful girl ever, it wouldn’t matter. He didn’t want a girl. What Joseph wanted was the sweetest, most amazing, beautiful guy ever.

And he was never going to get that. Ever.

Sighing and resigning himself to a life of complete utter unhappiness, he turned back to the menu. He wasn’t very hungry but Joseph knew he had to pick something regardless. Venc had invited them out for dinner so that they could sit with Johanna. Her brother was supposed to join them too but he hadn’t showed yet.

His father didn’t like people who were late.

“Your brother plan on showing anytime soon?” His father asked, taking a sip of his water.

Blushing from embarrassment, Johanna said “Any minute now, sir. I’m really sorry; he must be caught in traffic or something.”

Him and his father turned their heads upon hearing a loud engine and watched as a car drove down the street and parked across from the restaurant. All Joseph thought was that it was one heck of a car. He couldn’t wait until he got to drive.

“Tatko? What kind of car is that one?” He watched as a man stepped out, pushing a piece of blonde hair out of his face.

His father squinted for a bit then said “BMW GTR M3, I think. 2002, probably. Maybe ’03. It’s nice.”

“Oh! That’s Daniel!” Johanna said with relief glistening her words. She called out and waved to her brother, “Daniel!”

Her brother waved back and trotted across the street. He walked into the restaurant and came out to the patio where they were seated. “My apologies for being late,” he smiled as he stuck out his hand to Joseph’s father. “Daniel Wolf.”

His father stood and took the hand offered. “Ivo Kavinsky. And apology accepted. I truly hope you have a good reason for being,” he checked his watch, “twenty-five minutes late.”

“Again, my apologies. The tunnel was packed with traffic.” He stuck out his hand to Joseph’s mother. “Pleasure to meet you, ma’am.”

“The pleasure is mine,” his mother smiled wide with that glowing smile of hers. “Vesela Kavinsky. Ivo’s wife. And you can just call me Vesela, it’s fine.”

Daniel laughed and said “Then Vesela it is. A beautiful name for such a beautiful woman.” He kissed her hand in a ‘gentlemanly’ gesture and it took a lot for Joseph to not stick a finger down his throat. He did roll his eyes, though.

Johanna caught the eyeroll and laughed “He’s cliché, I know.”

Her brother turned his gaze to Joseph, “Nice to meet you. Joseph, I think?”

Nodding, he replied “Yup. Nice to meet you too.” Joseph smiled wide and said “I was starving waiting for you to show.”

He was pretty sure annoyance flashed through Daniel’s blue eyes. His father snorted because he knew as well as Joseph’s smiling mother that Joseph hadn’t been hungry in months. Even Venc with the smile he was trying to hide knew that. Him? Starving? Yeah, okay, maybe over the rainbow.

“I’m sorry for making you all wait,” Daniel said as he took a seat. He kissed Johanna on the cheek and said a hello to Venc. “Treating my sister right, I hope?”

Venc rolled his eyes and said “The question becomes less threatening every time you ask. Not that it was even that threatening in the first place. Trust me, if I was treating her bad, she’d kick my ass.”

Laughing, Daniel murmured “Very true. But I have to ask just to make sure. She’s the only sibling I have and my younger sister, so I have to be certain that she’s in good hands.”

“If she wasn’t, mayko would beat him up. No worries,” Joseph added to the conversation.

“Damn straight,” his mother laughed.

They placed their orders with the waiter and munched on bread as they waited for their food to come. His father up took the conversation first. “So you were in New York then?”

Nodding, Daniel replied “Yes. I actually live there with our parents. It’s just Johanna who wanted to come to the trashy state across the river.”

His father raised his eyebrow critically and gestured to the expanse around them. “I don’t see trash. In fact, a lot of places in Jersey are in better condition than places in New York. What part of New York do you live in?”

“Brighton Beach. Very beautiful.”

Disbelief glittered on his father’s face, “Depending where you live, then yes. Stunning. I guess you haven’t seen the rest of the neighborhood?”

Daniel smirked and answered “I don’t associate with the riff raff. So, yes I have seen the rest of the city but soiling myself with their presence isn’t something I do. Nothing is more appalling than those rats who live in the streets.”

Joseph couldn’t help the snort that came out. Johanna’s brother looked at him from across the table and asked “Something wrong with what I said?”

“Mmm, I’m a child. My opinions have no worth in adult conversations,” he murmured after a bite of bread.

Raising his brows, Daniel said “Nonetheless, I’d like to hear it. You seem intelligent enough to formulate proper opinions.”

He looked to his father who simply shrugged as if saying ‘whatever you want to do.’ His face was blank but Joseph could see the sparkles of amusement in his father’s eyes. “Well, if you insist…” He took a sip of water before beginning. “What I found amusing was that you seem to think that just because a person lives in the streets, they’re trash. There are lots of people who are well-off who are a thousand times worse. Just because life put you on the street doesn’t mean that you’re a terrible person.”

Leaning back in his chair, Daniel contemplated Joseph before saying “I suppose I can see what you’re saying. But the ones that are actually worth anything are very few. I’ve never met a single person off the street who actually has a brain and aims to make their life better.”

“Maybe that’s because you refuse to associate with the riff raff.” He heard a snort of amusement to his right; either his father or Venc.

“You’re young and your outlook on life is a positive one where you think the world is full of wonder-”

Annoyance bubbled inside of him. If anyone knew that the world wasn’t wonderful, it was Joseph. “Just because I’m little doesn’t mean I’m an idiot. How old are you, Daniel?”

“Twenty one.”

“Huh, you’d think that you’d know better than to insult the company you’re with. Guess all your fanciness didn’t teach you that.”

Daniel shook his head and sighed in exasperation “And who is it that I am apparently insulting?”

Smiling wide with that sarcastic smile of his father’s, he looked to his father who had a huge smile on his face. Gesturing to him, Joseph replied “My dad,” he gestured over at Venc, “And your sister’s boyfriend. A pair of street rats, those two. That darn riff raff.”

His mother coughed a laugh into her napkin and interrupted as she saw the waiter coming with their food. “Time to eat!” The smile on her face, Joseph knew, was because she was dying to laugh.

Johanna’s brother flicked a glance to Joseph’s father and then one to Venc. He cleared his throat and took a bite of his bread.

It felt like a really nice win to Joseph.

During dinner, they kept their talk to the smallest of the smallest small talk. Joseph just stayed quiet – he had said his piece for the night. Once all the plates were cleared and they waited for dessert, his father asked “Why Brighton?”

“It’s a nice place to live,” Daniel shrugged.

“A German business family in the middle of Little Russia? It’s gotta be more than just a nice place to live.”

“My parents lived in Russia for a time, so it was a bit like being in one of their homes,” Johanna interrupted. She had been tense the entire dinner since Daniel gaffe.

His father hummed in reply as he examined both brother and sister. Joseph could tell something was bothering him. He couldn’t figure what it was though. He didn’t even think his father knew what it was yet.

Dessert came for everyone except Daniel – he didn’t like sweets apparently. That personally offended both Joseph’s and his father’s sweet tooths. “Cheesecake? It’s not super sweet,” Joseph asked. He had been working on finding some sort of sweet that Daniel must like. There had to be at least one.

Shaking his head, Daniel said “Not super sweet but I don’t like its flavor.”

“How can someone not like cheesecake,” Joseph muttered while taking a bite of his own. From how many times the Vidals had eaten cheesecake with them, they had come to love it as much as Joseph’s family did.

“I don’t mind pudding once in a while,” Daniel offered.

“That’s something, I guess.”

“Eating too much sweets is unhealthy.”

Rolling his eyes, Joseph replied “Well, ya, if you go crazy on them. Everything is fine in moderation.”

Daniel shrugged and said “Sweets shouldn’t be eaten more than once a week. Even that is too much.”

His father started laughing and they all looked to him in questioning. “Jesus, the more you open your mouth, the more I don’t like you.”

“Ivo…” Venc groaned into his hands while shaking his head.

“What? Honesty is the best policy. I happen to be an extreme lover of anything sweet. Once a week is not enough for me.”

“He hides chocolate bars in his dresser under his socks,” Joseph revealed. “He thinks I don’t know where they’re at. And mayko hides sour candies in her underwear drawer. She also thinks I don’t know where they’re at. They don’t want me eating from their ‘secret,’” he made air quotes with his fingers, “stashes.” Joseph looked to his parents’ shocked faces and smiled “Definitely not secret, guys.”

“I _knew_ I didn’t finish the Reece’s,” his father muttered while everyone laughed.

“Once I hid a chocolate bar in one of my jackets in the back of my closet and completely forgot about it,” Johanna said with a smile on her face. “Come winter after a horrible summer and I stuck my hand in my pocket…”

Joseph broke into laughter, “I bet that was nasty.”

“So gross,” Johanna giggled. “Like just ew. It took me awhile just to remember what in the world it was.”

Joseph glanced to Daniel, remembering he had a question. “What year is your car?”

“2002. Why?”

Glancing to his father, Joseph said “Your first guess was right.”

Daniel turned to Joseph’s father, “You know cars?”

“Cars are the main reason for his existence,” his mother laughed. “The love of his life that sometimes I worry I have to compete with.”

His father rolled his eyes and said “You obviously don’t have to compete with inanimate objects. Don’t be stupid.” Turning his conversation to Daniel, he asked “Do you know cars?”

“Have you seen mine?”

“I’ve seen it and it’s goddamn beautiful but just because you drive something nice doesn’t mean you actually know what you’re driving.”

Daniel blew out an exasperated sigh. “I like to collect cars, so yes, I know my cars. Now, do I work on them? I wish. I’ve tried learning but I just can’t seem to get the hang of the mechanics. I’m assuming you understand all the mechanics?”

Nodding, his father replied “In another life, I’m a mechanical engineer. Too bad it’s not this one. But I do a lot of restorations when I have the time. Haven’t had time in a really long while though. I do all my own work; don’t let mechanics touch.”

“We should do a car together, tatko. So you can teach me all that stuff,” Joseph piped in.

Face lighting in delight, his father smiled “Damn good idea, brat. I’ll start looking around and see what I find. We’ll get ourselves a project car to do.”

Making a face like he thought what he heard was the stupidest thing ever, Daniel said “A seven year old is going to help you on a car?”

“Nine,” Joseph corrected in annoyance.

“His learning abilities are much better than yours,” his father smirked. “My kid happens to be brilliant.”

Eyes sparking in both annoyance and anger, Daniel ground out “You seem intent on putting me down in every which way don’t you?”

“Daniel,” Johanna hissed.

“What? He’s so intent on not liking me, haven’t you noticed? Maybe it’s because he’s _Lord Kavinsky_ he thinks he can speak however he wants. He should learn how to respect and that I expect it.”

His father’s eyes flashed with anger, the only part of his blank mask reacting to the comment. “I should learn respect?”

Johanna looked between the two bristling men in distress. “Daniel, please shut up.”

If Joseph was surprised by anyone’s reaction, it was Venc’s. He always defended Joseph’s father in a heartbeat. But he hadn’t said a word or even made a face. All he was doing was studying Daniel carefully and then Johanna, each one in turn.

Daniel was about to speak when Venc spoke up. “Johanna.”

She looked at him carefully, “Ya?”

“I never told you anything.” His gaze flicked to Daniel. “So she had nothing to tell you…”

Joseph watched as realization dawned on his father’s face from what Venc was saying. “If he never told Johanna what he works…”

Venc finished the thought, “Then how the hell do you know who my lord is?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband


	74. Chapter 73

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> While Ivo and Venc are the ultimate bros, sometimes ultimate bros do not get along  
> Drama ensues  
> Joseph has to deal
> 
> _“You don’t have to be alone, tatko.”_

He lay on his stomach between his parents on their bed, reading a book. His father was working on his laptop and his mother-

“Crap!” she shouted in frustration.

Both Joseph and his father turned their heads to stare at her, eyebrows raised. She looked at them and smiled, holding up the Gameboy. “I died. Stupid flying koopa got me.”

Joseph turned back to his book with a smile. He was rereading the Warriors books he had; Joseph couldn’t wait until the next one came out. “What world are you up to?”

“Two,” she replied as she returned her attention to game.

“Pathetic,” his father muttered, continuing with his typing.

She turned a nasty glare at him. “It’s not like you can do any better.”

He rolled his eyes in reply. “Pft. I would’ve beat the game by now. Two days to get to world two, Vesela?”

“That is kinda sad, mayko,” Joseph murmured while turning the page. “I got to world two in two hours, tops.”

“Why are my men so nasty,” she sighed.

“Competitive is the word you’re looking for.” He rolled onto his side, adjusting his reading position. How people were able to sit in one position for hours, Joseph had no clue. He had to move every now and then to not get sore or have limbs going numb on him.

His mother flashed a quick glance to the clock beside her then turned back to the game. “It’s getting late. You should be getting some sleep, baby.”

“It’s Friday and I wouldn’t be able to sleep anyways. So, either I can just roll around in bed, chasing sleep, or I can sit with you guys and read. I like the second option better.”

“Go to sleep,” his father muttered while scrunching his eyebrows at something he was reading.

“But-”

“Sleep, Joseph.”

Sighing, he sat up and closed his book. His mother gave him a sympathetic glance with a touch of guilt. If it had been any other week, his father wouldn’t have minded that he was awake. If it was any other week, Joseph would have been able to change his father’s mind.

But it wasn’t any other week. It was this week and his father’s mood had been foul for the entirety of it. Joseph and his mother didn’t want to have to face it, so they tried their best not to be the focus of his father’s ire.

That meant just listening and no arguing. Even jokes sometimes didn’t sit well with his father.

Walking on his knees to his mother, he kissed her cheek and said goodnight. He turned to his father and slung his arms around his neck, pressing a kiss to his temple. “Goodnight and I love you.”

Sighing, his father wrapped his arms around Joseph and hugged him tight, laying his head upon Joseph’s. After a minute or two, he murmured “I love you too. Sleep well.” He held on for a couple more minutes before finally letting go. His father breathed deep and turned back to his work, “Off you go.”

Dragging himself off the bed with book in hand, Joseph said one last goodnight and slowly closed their door behind him. It wasn’t fair that him and his mother had to tip toe around their own home, praying and hoping to not ignite the gasoline of his father.

This was all Venc’s fault anyways. He should be the one suffering, not them.

_“Dump her,” his father said after a minute of silence. They were driving back from dinner, Venc up in the front seat at Joseph’s mother’s insistence. She didn’t want to be caught between their conversation._

_Venc was silent for a minute before muttering “That’s not fair.”_

_“Life’s not fair. Get over it. Dump her.”_

_Shifting in his seat, Venc said “I don’t want to. And for that matter, I won’t.”_

_“If you plan on keeping your job, then yes you will.”_

_Turning his head in shock, Venc stuttered “T-That’s not fair! You can’t combine my personal life with work! They have nothing to do with each other!”_

_Joseph and his mother both tensed when they sensed his father getting angry. It was so ingrained in them that they could tell when he was mad by just the tick of one of his fingers._

_“Wrong,” his father hissed, trying to control his temper. “You and I both know something isn’t right with her or that scum of a brother. Something is up and you insist on ignoring it.”_

_“Then tell me, Lord Kavinsky, what is up?”_

_He watched as his father gripped the steering wheel hard. “I don’t know,” he ground out. “I haven’t figured it out yet. But there’s something. I know it.”_

_“So you want me to dump my amazing girlfriend because you have some stupid ass hunch?”_

_“I know that something is bugging you too. Don’t act like it’s just me. When have I been wrong in something?”_

_Venc laughed sarcastically. “Why don’t you just ask the two behind us? They can give you so many examples of your shittery.”_

_Right about now, he wanted to murder Venc. Joseph had never been angry with Venc before but he sure as hell was now. And he could feel the anger radiating off his mother. It came wave after wave._

_“Vencislav,” she snarled. “Don’t you dare put us into your conversation.”_

_“You guys are in the car. It’s your conversation too. I’m not going to sit here and listen to his shit. It’s not fair that I have to dump her. She has nothing to do with anything.”_

_“Then you deal with that with Ivo. You do not drag me and especially not Joseph into this. It is not our problem.”_

_“This whole conversation is a load of bull. And if anyone knows about his,” Venc pointed angrily at Joseph’s father, “bullshit more than anybody else, it’s Joseph, don’t you think?”_

_They all got choked back by their seatbelts when the car was brought to an abrupt halt. Unlocking the doors and without looking at Venc, his father said “Get the fuck out of my car.”_

_Venc eyes widened with surprise. “Don’t know if you noticed but this isn’t where I live? Another three blocks, ya?”_

_His father turned to his subordinate, his eyes and voice like ice. He was using the voice that struck fear into the world. Joseph liked to think of it as his mobster voice; the side of his father that he wished didn’t exist. Because, God, was it terrifying. “I noticed. You can walk. Get the fuck out of my car, Vencislav.”_

_He shook his head in disbelief. “You serious right now? All this because I won’t dump Johanna? You’re that mad?”_

_“Something is up with that shit family and I know you know it. Don’t tell me you actually believe the bullshit of ‘I looked up my sister’s boyfriend because I had to be sure he was a good guy.’ I know you’re smarter than that. Now. Get. Out.”_

_Staring for a couple more seconds, Venc opened his door and got out. He stuck his head in a second later and said “I’m not going to come crawling back. You should know that. I’m not going to come begging and pleading for my job back. And I’m not dumping her either.”_

_His father looked like he couldn’t care less but both Joseph and his mother knew that was far from the case. It was going to eat him alive if Venc didn’t come back. “No surprise to me. But what I didn’t expect was for you to be one of those idiots who lets a girl get so fucked into his brain that he can’t seem to think straight anymore. Something doesn’t match up with them and you know it but you refuse to acknowledge it. They’re going to fuck us over somehow-”_

_“Do you even listen to yourself! Fuck us over? How? They’re a fucking business family in New York. What the hell is wrong with that?”_

_Opening his door and slamming it behind himself, his father walked to where Venc was standing on the sidewalk. Joseph felt like his heart was going to explode from his panic. It freaked him out when his father was furious, even if it wasn’t directed towards him._

_Both him and his mother yelped in surprise when there was the sudden bang of Vencislav being flipped onto the hood of the car. His father was so mad that he didn’t even care for his car at the time being. He grasped Venc by the collar of his shirt, yanking him so they were face to face._

_They barely heard through the open door the words hissed. “When you decide to take your brain out of your dick and put it back into you head, let me know. Until then, I don’t want to see your goddamn face because then I’ll feel guilty for your grandmother and Ivet when they won’t be able to recognize it by the time I’m done with it. Something is off and you know it. Use your time of unemployment to figure it out.”_

_He slammed Venc’s head back into the hood which caused Joseph and his mother to jump from the noise. Joseph didn’t know about his mother but he never thought he’d see the day when his father would hurt Venc. His father released the hold he had on the younger man and walked back to the driver’s side, getting into the car and slamming the door._

_Venc made a face of pain as he got off the hood, rubbing his head where it probably throbbed. He slammed his door shut and walked off into the night, not looking back once._

Joseph didn’t know when the problem would be fixed but he knew that the longer it continued…

The worse his father would get.

A week later found Joseph playing in the backyard with Peanut watching him from one of the patio chairs. He had put plastic bottles on the table and was practicing his baseball aim. His first round, he had missed two bottles out of eight. Not bad. He was about to start a second when his mother called him in.

“Ya?” He asked, walking into the house.

She was putting on her jacket, saying “I’m gonna walk to the corner store. I need a couple things. Coming with or you’re good?”

Little by little, they had been working on him staying by himself again. They were doing pretty good too. Joseph was no longer on his pills – they had officially weened him off a few weeks ago. It was later than what the doctor had planned but so far he was doing okay. No major panic attacks or overwhelming anxiety.

He was doing good. Joseph felt like normal was getting a little closer day by day. Ever since he had told Emilio about the kidnapping, Joseph felt like this ginormous weight was lifted off of him. The world didn’t hurt as much as usual.

“Um, I’m good. I should be good,” he smiled.

His mother smiled wide from happiness, her eyes sparkling. “I’m so proud of you. C’mere,” she held out her arms, “Hug before I go.”

Hugging her tight, he locked the door after her once she left. He walked to the kitchen, deciding to have some chips. Jumping up onto the counter, he opened the cabinet with the bowls and took one out. Getting down, Joseph placed the bowl on the counter and walked to the pantry to get the chips. He jumped a little when there was a bang on the door.

Looking to the door, he noticed the bottom lock had opened. Probably his father then. “Who?” Joseph called as he walked over.

“Just open the fucking door.”

Stretching and up on his tip toes, Joseph undid the locks and chains, opening the door to an incredibly pissed off Ivo. “Hi, tatko,” he smiled, hoping to maybe brighten his father’s mood. With each passing day of no Venc, his father was getting angrier and nastier.

“Hi,” he uttered, pushing past Joseph and slamming the door. His father walked to his office, going to get something he probably forgot. Joseph wondered how his father functioned when he was so forgetful.

Sighing, Joseph went back to the pantry and grabbed the chips. He poured some into his bowl once he reached the kitchen and turned to put the chips away when his elbow hit the bowl.

Knocking it onto the floor, scattering glass all around.

“Oops,” Joseph muttered as he placed the bag of chips back on the counter.

He was about to walk to the closet to get the broom when his father came out, his face looking even harsher than when he had walked in. “Is it beyond you not to fuck up anything?”

Joseph stared in surprise at his father’s reaction. He never got mad when something broke; accidents happen. It was never an issue. “I’m sorry. My elbow hit the bowl.”

His father rolled his eyes and mocked “My elbow hit the bowl.”

The nerves he had been managing to keep in check were starting to buzz. His father was angry and Joseph was stuck in the crossfire. He knew if he started panicking or crying or anything, his father would just get nastier.

He had to keep himself calm.

“I’m sorry, it was an accident. I’m going to clean it up right now.”

“Why did I get stuck with such a horrible fuck up? Why can’t you be goddamn normal for once?”

_He doesn’t mean it, he’s just angry. He doesn’t know what he’s saying._

“I’m sorry,” Joseph said again. He wanted to whisper, to give in to his fear but he tried his best to sound strong.

Running a hand through his hair, his father gave a hysterical laugh, clenching his fist tight. “I hate my life. I hate it so god fucking much.” Joseph definitely knew that feeling. “I hate me and so does everyone else. I can’t do this anymore.”

Joseph stood silently, watching his father on the verge of a mental breakdown. All the stress of the months since his grandfather had died was building up and Joseph wasn’t sure his father could take much more. He always looked exhausted and ready to drop any second; his mind and body were just waiting for that final pin to drop.

Venc was the tip of the iceberg.

Joseph shattering a plate – inconsequential on any other day – was the pin.

His father paced a little, shaking his head as he did. He clenched and unclenched his fists which were probably dying to hit something. Joseph just hoped that that something wasn’t him. Huffing and laughing again, his father rested his head on the wall beside his office, closing his eyes tight. He looked like he was breathing through clenched teeth, on the verge of exploding.

Joseph really wished his mother would show up right about now.

Clenching his right fist tight, his father backed off the wall and slammed his fist hard, the noise echoing throughout the house. Then he slammed again, and again, and again.

Until finally he made a hole in the wall.

Joseph just watched carefully, keeping his breathing nice and steady; he had been getting better at that lately. His father kept his fist in the hole while once more resting his head on the wall. Swallowing hard, his father whispered “Please get away from me. I don’t want to hurt you.”

Running his lip under his teeth, Joseph tried to think of what to do. He was terrified that his father really would hurt him but Joseph knew from experience that sometimes it was actually better to have someone than to be alone.

Care and love and support.

So he sat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband


	75. Chapter 74

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> Uhh nothing to say today? Or there is and I forgot. That happens a lot...  
> Enjoy my awesome readers!
> 
> I've no clue if any of you ever bothered with the Bulg music recs I gave but I've got a couple more so here:  
> Lyubov - Pavell & Venci Venc  
> лош или добър - Krisko
> 
> _“I was pitcher. Most strikeouts in Hoboken and Jersey City.”_

Ivo opened his eyes when he didn’t hear any movement around him. This was the worst time for Joseph to decide to be stubborn; Ivo wasn’t sure how long he could keep his temper in check before he finally snapped. The weight of the entire hellish almost year suddenly decided it was going to crash down on him today. Ivo was going to snap, this he knew.

And he didn’t want Joseph to get stuck in the middle of it.

From the corner of his eye, he was struck with surprise when he noticed Joseph just sitting there. Removing his bloodied broken fist from the wall, he turned and stared at his son.

Joseph was literally just sitting as if waiting to see what was going to happen.

His son bit his lip and said “I’m your son, not your friend but I can be both. Because I think everyone needs a friend. Because…” he looked like he was grasping something from his memory, “They’re the people that you tell things to. They’re the people that you trust. And what’s given in return is care and love and support. Because then your hurts will be my hurts ‘cause I’ll help you with them. You don’t have to be alone or suffer alone. That’s why friends exist. To make sure that people don’t have to be alone.”

“You don’t have to be alone, tatko.”

Staring at the little nine year old boy in front of him, Ivo still couldn’t believe God had blessed him with Joseph. He didn’t deserve him. This brilliant amazing sweet child who sat before him deserved so much better than Ivo could ever be. Ivo knew that he was a crappy father; he was getting better but he still sucked at it. Hell, he probably always would.

And yet his kid didn't want him to be alone; he didn't want him to suffer. Even though Joseph had so many hurts of his own, he wanted to help his shitty father shoulder his own.

Tears welled in his eyes; he was so tired. So exhausted. When he said that he couldn't do this anymore, he meant it. Ivo was so sick and tired of having so much pressure and weight on his shoulders. He bit his lip, hoping to stop the onslaught of tears. Lowering himself onto the floor, Ivo rested his head on his knees and wrapped his arms around his legs. And he let the onslaught come; there was no stopping it.

Ivo didn't snap like he expected.

He broke.

Shock or surprise wasn't something he felt when small arms wrapped around him, hugging him tight. Joseph’s head rested upon his after pressing a kiss into Ivo's hair. To say it wasn’t comforting would be a major lie. But while the hug and kiss weren’t a surprise, what happened next definitely was.

Joseph began to quietly sing. It was the lullaby that Vesela sang for him when he woke up screaming from his nightmares.

And it was the best goddamn thing Ivo had heard in years.

They sat that way for how long, Ivo didn’t know. He just let his tears continue until even his eyes were exhausted where they couldn’t produce anymore. Joseph kept singing the way Vesela would until Ivo only let out the occasional sniffle. When he finished, Joseph pressed another kiss to Ivo’s head and hugged him tighter.

“I’m so tired,” Ivo whispered. Despite how much he really didn’t want to have to put anymore weight on Joseph, Ivo needed to get out some words before he burst. “I can’t do this anymore, brat.”

Joseph hummed and murmured “You’re on mandatory leave now. We’re gonna all go on a vacation or something. You need air. It helps, trust me.”

Letting out a breath of amusement, Ivo sniffled “If only it were that simple. I can’t just go on vacation, especially since I still don’t have a second in command.”

“As heir of the mob, I have the awe-powerful authority to tell you that you’re taking a vacation. No arguments allowed.”

“God forbid,” he said quietly.

He felt Joseph shift a little. “Forbid what?”

“That you would get stuck doing my shitty job. The last thing in the world that I want is you becoming like me; forced into it like me. I’d never do that to you. I work hard and do all the horrible illegal things so you can have a good life. I don’t want you doing them yourself. You’re going to grow and become some amazing profession. Not become a mobster.”

“What if it’s what I want to do?”

Straightening himself and pulling Joseph into his lap, Ivo murmured “Then as your father, I wouldn’t allow it. I’m not going to let you suffer like me.”

Joseph examined him for a minute – now Ivo knew what it was like to have _himself_ staring at him. The only things that Joseph's eyes were missing were the sparks of horrors and hate that Ivo had seen and felt. He prayed that those things would never exist in his wondrous child's curious gaze. “I love you,” Joseph murmured. “And because of that, I’m telling you that you need a break.”

Hearing a noise at the door, they both looked up and watched as Vesela walked in, couple of bags in hand. Her eyes flicked to them, confusion filling her gaze. Ivo knew she could easily tell that he had been crying.

  

* * *

 

“Hi, mayko,” Joseph smiled from his father’s lap. She was still standing and staring at them like they were completely out of their minds or she was totally out of her own.

“Hello,” she said, the confusion still flooding her face. Shutting the door behind herself, his mother put the bags on the island in the kitchen and walked over to them. Sitting herself down across from them, she said “Something wrong with the couches?”

Joseph didn’t get the joke but obviously his father did because he blew out a small laugh. Wiping his face, his father muttered “Just felt like sitting on the floor, I guess.”

His mother’s eyes flicked to the wall then his father’s hand then back to her husband’s face. “Ivo, are you okay?”

Hugging Joseph tight, his father murmured into his hair “I’m better. I got me, like, the best therapist ever.”

Laughing, Joseph wrapped his arms around his father tight and said “My pay kinda sucks though. If I’m the best, how come I’m not paid anything?”

“Jesus, Ivo, you’re a horrible patient,” his mother chuckled. “Shame on you.”

A small laugh escaped from his father’s mouth, “I’m shitty at a lot of things, aren’t I?”

“Nah,” Joseph replied, hoping to keep his father’s spirits up. Seeing his father break was something that made him extremely uncomfortable. Joseph had seen tears before but broken racking sobs coming from his father were not something he had ever experienced. Not even from his mother. “The cars you work on come out a-maazing. Like wow, tatko. They’re so awesome.”

“Think so?”

“Definitely,” he nodded into his father’s chest. “You’re gonna teach me all that right?”

He felt a rumbling laugh in his father’s chest when he said “How would Emilio-I’m-Such-A-Badass-Gangster say it? Fo sure, my homie.”

Joseph broke into laughter causing a smile to overcome the pain and sadness on his father’s face. “Emilio will be so honored that you’re impersonating him. I’m gonna have to tell him, you know.”

“Oh dear God, please don’t. He’ll never let it go.”

A thought struck Joseph on the talking of Emilio. “Okay so maybe you can’t do a vacation but I got an idea!”

“Ooh! I don’t know if we’re thinking of the same thing, sweetheart, but I got an idea too!” His mother clapped in glee, her beautiful smile igniting a spark of love in his father’s eyes.

“Something tells me I’m going to be seeing a Vidal today…” his father trailed, an eyebrow raised as he looked between Joseph and his mother.

Smiling, Joseph replied “Friends are there for a reason, tatko.”

“You definitely should go talk to Raul. Maybe get drinks together or something. Either way, Ivo, you need to let it out and to be honest? I don’t like holes in my walls. Not the best method of letting it out.”

His father actually pulled out a full on laugh this time, rubbing his forehead into Joseph’s hair. “Get some drinks… Is that what friends do?”

“Oh ya,” Joseph answered full of surety. “Me and Emilio hit those juice boxes all the time.”

His parents both erupted into laughs and Joseph had never felt so good about putting smiles on people’s faces before. It made his chest feel lighter being able to make someone happy. It had bothered him so much when his father was in tears. It bothered him when he saw tears in his mother’s eyes before.

Smiles were so much more nicer. That had to be why everyone always wanted Joseph to have one on his face.

  

* * *

 

Sitting in the grass in a place where it was always beautiful, Joseph waited for his ‘appointment’ to arrive. He was rubbing dream Peanut with one hand and holding a roly poly with the other, watching it walk along his palm. Looking up when he heard the approach of a person, Joseph smiled wide.

“Hiya, dyádo.”

His grandfather smiled as he settled himself down beside Joseph and dream Peanut. “Hello, Joseph. Might I ask a favor?”

He looked at his grandfather curiously. “Of course.”

“This old man’s bones are creaky, might you dream us some chairs next time?”

Laughing, Joseph replied “No problem, dyádo. I got you covered for next time.”

Smiling, his grandfather made himself comfortable, petting Peanut every now and then. “How are you doing today?”

“Good, actually. These past few months have actually been okay. They took me off my medicine and I think I’ve been handling it really good.”

“Very good,” his grandfather nodded in thought. “Nightmares?”

“None in a long while.”

“Good indeed.” Looking at Joseph carefully, his grandfather asked “So what is wrong, vnuk? Something seems to be on your mind.”

“Um…just tatko,” he confessed. “He’s not okay.”

Concern crossed his grandfather’s face. “Why ever not?”

“Well, a lot of things, I think. One, he’s still really upset about you. Two, I think he immerses himself too much in work. It’s way too much pressure on him, dyádo. He can’t handle it. Everyone is always arguing or telling him he’s doing a bad job. I think it really gets to him. Like maybe he thinks he won’t ever be good enough, you know? I think he’s worried that you’d be disappointed.”

A thoughtful look emerged on his grandfather’s face. He didn’t speak for a time before saying “There are many things your father has done in life that disappointed me but regarding work, I don’t think he ever will. He works incredibly hard, this I know. And I trust that he is doing the best he possibly can. Your father is a brilliant man, Joseph. He’ll make the right decisions.”

“That’s what me and mayko tell him. Even Tétka tells him too but I don’t think he’ll really see it until the advisors say he’s doing a good job.”

Chuckling, his grandfather replied “A group of old men rarely want to acknowledge the achievements of a younger man. Jealousy is a nasty thing. Anything else?”

Shrugging, Joseph murmured “Venc.”

“Vencislav?” His grandfather sounded shocked as if he couldn’t understand how Venc could possibly be a problem. But Joseph never thought Venc would be a problem, either.

He nodded and said “Him and tatko got into a fight and they haven’t talked in a couple weeks. They haven’t seen each other at all. Tatko even fired him.”

Disbelief filled his grandfather’s voice, “Truly? This is not something I ever thought I’d hear.”

Nodding once more, Joseph said quietly “Venc got a girlfriend and we’re all super happy for him. So the other day he invited us to dinner to sit with her – Johanna – and her brother who’s Daniel. Tatko didn’t like Daniel very much but I know he would’ve let it go. But then Daniel seemed to know who tatko was even though Venc never told Johanna nothing. So-”

“Anything,” his grandfather interrupted.

Turning his head, Joseph said “Huh?”

Smiling, his grandfather corrected “Told Johanna anything. Not nothing.”

“Oh,” he laughed, “Sorry. Anyways, so then Daniel said it’s cuz he checked out Venc or whatever. Tatko doesn’t believe that and I don’t think Venc does either but he really likes Johanna, so he’s ignoring his gut. Tatko told him that they’re gonna screw them over somehow because something isn’t right. But he can’t put his finger on what it is. So long story short, Venc wouldn’t dump her so tatko told him when he gets his brain out of…”

“I can fill in the rest, thank you.”

“So ya…” Joseph sighed and murmured “It’s really hurting tatko that Venc actually hasn’t bothered with him at all.”

“I imagine it would. Your father loves him very much. As a part of the family.”

“Today, he kinda just…broke. He kept punching the wall until he made a hole and broke his fist. Then he sat on the floor and started crying. Like crying really really bad.” He shook his head at the amazement he still felt from watching his father sobbing. “I couldn’t believe it… He says he’s really tired. I told him he needs a vacation but tatko says he can’t.”

His grandfather hummed and sat silently. That was normal for him whenever he was deep in his thoughts. “Did he get his hand fixed?”

“Yeah, he went to the hospital and they put him a hand cast; just to his wrist. But he’s not home now. I went to sleep before he came home.”

“Emergency room busy?”

“Oh, no. Me and mayko sent him to Mr. Vidal.”

Eyebrows rose on his grandfather’s forehead. “Raul?”

Joseph laughed at his grandfather’s confused face. “They’re good friends now, dyádo. Tatko likes him a lot. Like a lot, a lot. Me, tatko, Emilio, and Mr. Vidal even spent a day together. It was totally awesome.”

A smile grew on his grandfather’s face, a light sparkled in his eyes. “Ivo got himself a friend then? Good, very good.”

“Oh, dyádo! I’ve been practicing my baseball aim!” He bounced up onto his feet in excitement. “Do you want to see?”

Standing up himself, his grandfather laughed “I’d love to, vnuk. Did you ever think of joining a little league team?”

Picking up the baseball that suddenly appeared in the grass, Joseph asked “Do you think I should?”

“Well, you should at least try. I think your parents would love if you tried out.”

He set up the bottles on top of a tree stump. Joseph’s insides bubbled with excitement; making his parents happy and proud of him was always something he strived for. Maybe little league would be a good idea. “Imma give it a shot then!” He looked at his grandfather with concern, “Do you think they’ll still be happy even if I don’t make it?”

Walking to Joseph and hugging him close, his grandfather said “They’d be happy and proud just because you decided to put yourself out there.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband


	76. Chapter 75

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> In case anyone has gotten lost in the passage of time, we are currently in Jan 2005.  
> Thank you to all of you amazeball ppl who are enjoying the story and are sticking with me. I love you guys
> 
> Enjoy today's chpt and I'll see you guys Thursday! Idk who else is on Spring break like me but make sure you have a fun one!
> 
> _“Wanted to be here. Just in case, you know?”_

Throwing the ball into the air, Joseph swung.

And missed.

Again.

Huffing, he tossed the bat to the floor in frustration. Sure, he had one heck of an aim but apparently not much else. Joseph had been practicing ever since his grandfather had suggested little leagues and Joseph had checked that baseball season hadn’t happened at school yet.

He wanted his parents to be proud of him. If he was going to get that, he needed to get on the stupid team. Joseph hadn’t told either of them about going for the baseball team yet. He wanted it to be a good surprise.

Breathing deep to gain his composure, Joseph leaned down and picked up the bat and baseball he had gotten for Christmas. It was a new year now but things hadn’t changed much over the last few months.

Except his father’s mood. It wasn’t just nasty anymore.

It was absolutely horrid.

To this day, there was still no Venc. Joseph couldn’t believe it but Venc was officially a bastard in his mind now. He hadn’t even _called_ on Christmas. That had hurt all of them. They had still bought gifts for him, Ivet, and his grandmother, and Ivet had called herself but nothing from Venc.

That was when his father was officially pissed. Not even upset anymore, just incredibly angry. Joseph and his mother had to listen to an hour long rant about an ungrateful piece of shit.

So Joseph wanted to brighten the mood of the house. And to do that?

He had to make the stupid team.

Turning to look at the door when it opened, Joseph smiled to his mother as she stepped out with a tray of food. Saying that the last few months had been the same was wrong, if he was honest. Because something major had changed.

Joseph was playing outside again. In front of his house. All by himself.

They had worked up to it little by little, much like practicing staying home alone. He started with very short amounts of time and then worked his way up.

Now he was pretty darn good.

“How goes it?” His mother asked, sitting down on the porch and setting the tray beside her.

He huffed again and muttered “Not so great.”

“Mmm, well come eat a sandwich and we’ll fix that. And if you say I’m not hungry, I’ll suffocate you with it.”

Laughing, he asked “How about we fix that and then eat?”

Making a face, she replied “But sandwiches get dry. Eat then we fix. C’mon.”

Walking up the steps to her, he sat on the other side of the tray and picked up his peanut butter sandwich. “Thank you.”

“Welcome,” she mumbled around a bite of her own sandwich. “So what’s with all the crazy amounts of practice you’ve been doing lately?”

“Uh…well…” Maybe he should at least tell her. Joseph was kind of in need of a pitcher. “I was kinda thinking I’d try for the team at school. But the season is like a month and a half away and… I suck.”

His mother looked at him in surprise. “You’re thinking of going for the baseball team?”

He shrugged and took a bite of his lunch. “Maybe.”

Joseph choked on his bite when his mother suddenly yanked him into a hug “Exciting! If you had told me before, I would’ve helped you practice!”

“I was going to make it a surprise if I got on the team.” Biting his lip, he murmured “I want to see tatko smile with some actual happiness in it again.”

Leaning over and kissing his head, his mother said “You’re so sweet. But even if you didn’t make the team, you’d put a smile on his face regardless. Because he’d love the fact that you’re trying. Trying for his all time favorite sport too.”

“I guess. But I seriously suck, mayko.”

She laughed as she shook her head. “Nah, you just need practice. Good thing you got me, huh?”

Sipping his milk, he replied “Well ya. I need a pitcher.”

Huffing in disappointment, his mother muttered “I can help with more than that. Why don’t you ever ask me tons of questions the way you ask your bashtá? Not fair.”

Scrunching his face in confusion, Joseph looked to his mother and asked “Uh…what is it I should have asked about?”

“I’m so unloved,” she sighed. “Well, I’ll have you know that while your bashtá is this huge baseball dork and did play it a lot – not ever on a team mind you – _your mother_ actually played on a team.”

He turned to look at his mother in amazement. “Seriously?”

With a huge smile on her face, she nodded in happiness, her ponytail bouncing with every nod. “Yup! Okay, well, technically it was softball because school didn’t have a girl’s team for baseball but same difference.”

“Mayko, that’s totally awesome. Were you good? Like really good?”

She looked at her nails, a smug look on her face. “I was pitcher. Most strikeouts in Hoboken _and_ Jersey City.”

Joseph looked at his mother in an entirely new light. “Seriously?” He repeated in awe.

Smug look still on her face, she turned to him and said “Your mama got skills, boy-o. My batting average was pretty good too. Nothing award winning but I still hit good.” Smiling, she took his face in her hands, saying seriously “So we are going to practice and hopefully, you’ll make the team. But know that even if you don’t, we’re so proud of you just for trying. Don’t forget that part.”

Smiling, Joseph stood and ran down the steps, picking up his bat and ball. “We need to start practicing, my lady.”

After an hour and a half of practice, Joseph’s arms ached like crazy. At first, he hadn’t hit anything but then his mother had shown him a couple different stances and holds until they found the one for him. From there it was just a matter of good timing.

They hadn’t exactly kept count but they both felt like he did good after that. Once he was too tired to swing anymore, they had started practicing catching and pitching.

If they did this at least every week until tryouts, Joseph felt like he had a pretty decent shot at getting on the team.

Sitting down, he put the ball in his lap. “I think I’m done mayko. My arms are tired.”

His mother looked a little disappointed. Joseph felt like she was having so much fun; she had spent a good fifteen minutes seeing if she still could pitch like she used to. She swore that she used to be better than she was now.

All Joseph could think was that if his mother was better than what he had seen, then she was totally _badass._ Because what she had showed him was insanely good. Being better than that meant she was at like all time levels.

“Okay, I guess…” She smiled and said “One more?”

Sighing, he stood and wiggled his arms a bit. “Okay. Pitching, catching…?”

“Swinging.”

He groaned in exhaustion. That one he didn’t enjoy as much. “Okay…”

Picking up the bat, he adjusted his stance and his hold. “Think I’m ready.”

“Watch the ball,” she murmured. A second later she pitched – to Joseph’s standards and capabilities, not her abilities.

And he swung.

The crack of ball hitting wood was one of the most satisfying things he had ever heard. The crash of hitting glass a second later?

Not so much.

“Home run!” His mother shouted while bouncing in happiness, arms raised above her head.

He was smiling because he thought that was an amazing hit too but he was a little worried that he had just broken someone’s something. “Uh, I broke something…”

Laughing, his mother replied “Well, yes, but it’s still a homerun.”

Joseph couldn’t help but laugh himself. “Ya, good point.”

Nodding in the direction the ball flew, his mother said “C’mon. Let’s go find your ball and pay someone for whatever we broke.”

They examined windows and cars as they walked up their street. Eventually, Joseph’s eye caught with the cracked windshield of a car.

A really expensive car. Leave it to Joseph to piss off the rich people.

“Found the break, mayko.” Looking under and to the side of the Mercedes, Joseph mumbled “Found my ball.” Picking it up, he walked back to his mother who was examining the crack.

“In your professional car opinion, how much do you think we owe?”

Scratching his head, he said “My car expertise is limited to identification, not repairs. But…it’s a Mercedes SLK350… I don’t know what they put into it but it’s like fifty-five thousand. Zero to sixty in about five.”

“Lovely,” his mother muttered. “Fifty-five… the money’s not even the problem. We’re probably gonna get some angry old man on our hands.”

Huffing, he mumbled “No one likes angry old men…”

They both looked up as, of course, an old man was walking their way, a bag in his hands. When he glanced up from focusing on walking, he stared at them and said “Can I help you?”

His mother put on her brilliant smile and said in a sweet voice “I’m so sorry sir if this is your car. Me and my son were playing baseball and we hit your windshield. We’ll pay for it, of course.”

The man stared at her as if he wasn’t comprehending what she said then rushed to his windshield. He glared at Joseph and hissed “You stupid child!”

Stepping in front him, his mother said again “I’m sorry about the accident. I’ll pay for the repairs. Accidents happen.”

“You couldn’t possibly afford it!”

Trying to keep her temper, his mother replied “If you could-”

“Your stupid child should watch were he’s hitting! I’ll sue your ass!” He interrupted, face red with fury.

“Enough!” His mother snarled. “I told you I’ll pay for your windshield. Take it to a repair shop and give me the bill.”

“I want to speak with a man. Women have little knowledge of such things.”

Joseph wanted to cut in and say that women were generally smarter than guys but he didn’t want the old dude to start yelling at him or something.

“Something wrong with speaking to me?” His mother was angry, her hands on her hips, stance filled with anger.

The old man opened his car and put the bag in. “I’ll only speak with a man. And we’ll stand here until said man shows.”

Shaking her head in annoyance and disbelief, his mother said “My husband is at work. I’ll pay you, just tell me how much.”

“We’ll wait for him.”

Clenching her jaw, she looked to Joseph and said “Go back to the house and get my phone, please.”

“’Kay,” he murmured, placing his ball on the floor and taking off.

They were sitting on the curb a little way away from the angry old man, talking about his mother’s softball ‘glory days’ – she had really good stories – when they saw his father walking to them from the house.

“Parked at the house,” he said in way of greeting.

Nodding, Joseph and his mother stood and walked with him back to the man and his car. His father leaned at the windshield, examining it close.

“Look what your boy has done to my car.” The old man seemed calmer talking to a man.

“Sexist bastard,” his mother muttered under her breath.

“I see,” his father responded, still looking at the splintered glass and then taking in the whole car. “Just the windshield, yes?”

Nodding, the man replied “Yes. But you see, this is a very expensive ca-”

“I’m aware,” his father interrupted. “Fifty-six unless you put your own work into it.”

“So close,” Joseph mumbled about his price estimate.

“Windshield will cost anywhere from…” His father looked like he was shuffling through his brain. “one hundred to four or five maybe. I imagine you want authorized dealer parts?”

“Of course. I refuse to put anything less than genuine.” His arms were crossed and challenging.

Pulling out his wallet, his father took out two hundreds and a fifty. Handing them to the man, he said “There you go. Again, we’re sorry about your car. Accidents happen.”

The man took the money like it was nothing. “This is it? That watch on your wrist alone cost at least a thousand.”

“Eleven hundred, actually. And yes, that’s it. You disrespected my wife and son; I deducted that.”

Anger was erupting on the man’s face once more. “This is their fault. You should be paying for it.”

“And I am,” his father nodded to the bills in the other man’s hand. “But my wife did offer to pay and you refused. Not smart enough for you apparently. If you had accepted instead of being rude, she would have gladly paid you the full amount.” Shrugging, he murmured “So that’s all you get.”

Tipping his fedora, his father smiled “Have a wonderful day.”

 

“Sorry,” Joseph murmured on their walk back.

His mother rolled her eyes, “Don’t be. I wish we had really broken something. He deserves it.”

“You hit from the house?” His father asked.

“Yeah, why?”

His father glanced from the house back to where the car was. “Nice hit.”

He couldn’t help but smile from the praise. “Thank you. Me and mayko think it was my best today.”

Unlocking his car, his father got in as Joseph and his mother waved him off as he left back to work. They waited until they couldn’t see his car anymore then looked at one another. “Guess practice is done, huh?”

Laughing, his mother answered “Maybe we need a break.”

“Okay but I want you to tell me more about your softball days,” Joseph said while walking up the stairs. “Oh and can we make a milkshake?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband


	77. Chapter 76

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> I was editing this chpt and it turns out it's shorter than I remember? Barely 2000 words. It reads as complete but something tells me I must've stopped while writing last week and forgot that I didn't finish it. I guess I thought it was done because I wrote chpts after it. But it still reads as finished so we'll just go with it.
> 
> In case there are ppl wondering (someone did mention it) about things that seemed unfinished or you think I forgot or something, I didn't. For example, some of you guys are probs wondering whatever happened with Timotei and the assassination plot. The storyline didn't magically disappear or anything but don't forget that this is Joseph's story not a mob one or his family's (the same someone actually asked me to just make this an entire family story). It's his. So for things to be written here, they have to be seen or affect Joseph in some way. Now if you would like particular things that aren't here, just lemme know and it'll be done. Maybe someone wants a day in the life of a mobster or Emilio or something, idk. You guys gotta let me know. I don't read minds, my bruhs.
> 
> So what did happen with the assassination? You guys remember the Italians they were with that day? Ya it was them. They hoped by taking out Timotei they'd gain their territory because they thought Ivo's position would be very unstable in the beginning (it was but the bastard is tough, he held on). They thought the Bulgarian mob after losing a leader and overthrowing another would be too weak to hold anything. Obvs their plan didn't work out and even if even if Ivo had been overthrown, Yulian is a lot smarter and tougher than ppl give him credit for. He's seen as the quiet son-in-law by the other mobs and they think of this as him being stupid. He may be quiet but he's no idiot.  
> Ivo eventually pieced this all together by gathering info through his many informants and networks. The Italians are currently in major debt to the Bulgarians for their crime. The sniper was handed over to them and Ivo tortured him for some hours (Yulian was there but he doesn't really like torturing) and then he flung him off the 7 story apartment building roof. They watched until he splattered on the floor then Yulian called the cleaners and everything was tidied up. No torture evidence, no body.
> 
> Anyways, enjoy today's step in recovery!
> 
> _“You actually have the nerve to show up at my house? Did it occur to you that no one wants to see your stupid face?”_

She paced nervously from the kitchen to the connecting door of the garage and back, wringing her hands tightly as she did. Vesela tried calming her furiously beating heart that was trying to break out of her chest by steadying her breaths and thinking happy thoughts but failed miserably. She couldn’t help it if she was freaking out. Hell, this was a situation that called for freaking out.

Glancing to the clock on the wall, Vesela decided that she’d just sit outside. Maybe some air would help. Walking out, she planted her butt down on the freezing porch and looked about the street. Biting her lip wasn’t really a habit of her own but she couldn’t help it – Vesela was just so freaking scared. Her fear was tempered for a minute when surprise emerged upon seeing Ivo driving up. Parking on the street, he got out and walked over to her.

Settling himself down beside her after a kiss, Ivo murmured “Hi.”

“Hey,” Vesela said quietly. “Forget something?” She’d make a joke about how goddamn forgetful he always was but she wasn’t really in the mood.

Shaking his head, he replied “Wanted to be here. Just in case, you know?”

Vesela looked at her watch and her stomach pooled with panic. She was about to voice it when Ivo suddenly breathed in relief “Oh thank God.”

Looking to the end of the street, Vesela laughed in a mixture of relief and joy when she saw her little boy waving with a huge smile on his face. She ran down the steps as he ran to the house, his backpack bouncing with every step. They collided in hug, embracing each other tight.

“Mayko, you’re smothering me,” Joseph laughed, his voice muffled where his face was pressed into her stomach. Ivo walked up behind them and yanked Joseph from her, lifting him into his arms and hugging him tight.

“You could’ve waited your turn,” she protested, hands on her hips. “I wasn’t done.”

“You were taking too long,” Ivo murmured. “Hey, brat.”

Laughing, Joseph leaned back to smile to his father. “Hola. Aren’t you supposed to be working?”

“Well, yes, but I was just too goddamn worried and had to be here.”

Joseph looked between her and Ivo and smiled. “I’m okay, guys. I used to walk home all the time, you know.”

She brushed his hair back from his face and murmured “I know but it’s been so long and I couldn’t help it. I literally would have died if something happened to you.”

“But he’s here and he’s good,” Ivo interrupted. Looking to Joseph, he asked “You’re good?”

Planting a kiss on Ivo’s cheek – she was only slightly jealous – Joseph said “I’m good. I was a little worried when I started but as I kept walking down the streets that I know and stuff, I was feeling better and better. It was nice, actually.”

_“You want to walk home?” His mother asked in both worry and surprise. She was sitting on his bed, checking over his homework. When he had made his suggestion, his mother’s head had flown from where she was looking down up to stare at him._

_“I think I’m ready to try,” Joseph said while pulling out a shirt from his closet for school tomorrow. “Two years is enough, right? I stay by myself again, play outside…”_

_His mother bit her thumb nail; Joseph could tell she was worried with the thought of him walking alone. “I know but… I mean you have a point…”_

_He walked over and sat beside her on the bed. Peanut noticed him and scooted closer from where she was in the middle of the bed. “I think I can do it, mayko. I’m really ready to give it a shot. I want to get closer to normal and if I’m going to do that, I gotta do what I used to. Walking home is the next obvious step.”_

_Nodding slowly, she murmured “Ya… I think we should ask your bashtá what he thinks first, okay? So I’ll give you a for sure answer tomorrow morning.”_

_Joseph didn’t think his father would protest. Would he? “Okay. But make sure you tell him it was my idea and I think I’m ready. He’ll get behind it more if he knows it was my idea.”_

_He stood quietly beside the door of his parents’ bedroom, tuning his ears closely to hear what was being said. Technically, he was sleeping but Joseph was too curious to hear what his father would say. So he had stayed up ‘sleeping’ until he heard his father come home._

_Hopefully they wouldn’t catch him eavesdropping._

_“So,” he heard his mother start with._

_“I’m too tired for serious conversation,” his father grumbled. Joseph heard the bed creak; his father probably got on._

_“I mean, it’s not that serious. Just a matter of needing your opinion.”_

_“For?” his father yawned._

_“Well,” his mother said carefully, “Joseph wants to walk home tomorrow. I told him I’d see what you thought.”_

_“Alone?” His father suddenly sounded incredibly awake._

_Joseph could imagine his mother nodding. “Yup.”_

_“Are you too lazy to pick him up? Too busy doing nothing, Lady Vesela?”_

_His stomach turned in worry. Somehow, his father always managed to make everything into a problem. Even if it meant that he was giving himself up in eavesdropping, Joseph would interrupt if he had to. There was no reason for his mother to be put down for something that was his idea. She hadn’t even liked the idea._

_Huffing, his mother said “If you were actually listening, I said Joseph wants to. It was his idea, Lord Kavinsky. He asked before he went to bed and I told him I’d ask you first.”_

_Silence followed for a time before his father murmured “Joseph wants to.”_

_“Yes.”_

_“It was his idea.”_

_“Yes.”_

_Their bedroom was quiet once more. “What if something happens,” his father whispered. “I can’t lose him, Vesela. Not when we’re finally actually getting along.”_

_His breathing froze at his father’s words. Maybe his father really did love him. The warmth that spread through Joseph upon this possible realization was a very welcome sensation. He had a sudden urge to squish his father into a hug._

_He’d give him one tomorrow._

_His mother was quiet until she murmured “All we can do is pray that nothing will. We can’t just hold him back, Ivo. He thinks he’s ready. It’d be a mistake if we didn’t give him his chance. As he put it, maybe two years is enough. I’m as terrified as you but I want Joseph to move on. He’s been doing so well lately. Do you really want to be the thing holding him back?”_

_“No but…” His father sighed and said “Let him walk, I guess. Everything will be fine. He used to walk when he was even smaller than he is now. He’ll be fine.” He was quiet and then murmured “Right?”_

_Joseph could imagine his mother smiling and maybe even pecking a kiss on his father. “Right.”_

“You wanna eat lunch with us before you go, tatko?” Joseph asked once they walked in.

His father checked his watch, shuffled some stuff in his brain, and said “I guess. I got time. Not much though; I’ve a meeting with the Russians.” Making a face, he muttered “I’ve seen too many this week.”

Rolling her eyes, his mother asked “Too many or seen them too many times?”

“Too many. I had to sit with the little shits from here in Hoboken a few days ago and today is with the fuckers from Brighton.” He took a seat at the table and put his head down, closing his eyes.

“Which ones do you like better?” Joseph asked, taking a seat beside his father and putting his bag on the table.

“The ones here. Brighton’s are fucking annoying and an enormous pain in the ass. Not to mention the old man’s second freaks me the fuck out.”

He looked at his father in surprise. “You’re afraid of him?”

Head popping up, his father protested “I’m not afraid. I said he freaks me out. The dude is fucking weird, alright? He’s like ginormasaur and fu-cking huuuge. But not like fat huge, muscled huge. I mean, I’m tall but this fucker? Holy shit. It’s unnatural.”

Joseph stomach turned a little. “But…you don’t ever have to like…fight him or something? I don’t want you getting hurt.”

A small smile came on his father’s face. “No fighting that I’m aware of. Especially now. Bad shit happens if someone messes with a bossman of a mob. Lots of political repercussions and stuff.” Joseph couldn’t help but wonder what sorts of bad shit happened when his grandfather was murdered. “The advisors have been badgering me for months to have guards. I told them they can shove their guards-”

“Sandwiches!” His mother interrupted, a smile of laughter on her face.

“Anyways, I have no reason to, so no worries, brat.”

His mother sat down, taking a sandwich for herself, and asked “Why don’t you want guards? It’s a good idea. Tate used to have his own. All mob bosses have. Why don’t you?”

Shrugging, his father replied around a bite of bread, pastrami, and cheese “I don’t like ‘em. I don’t want people following me everywhere. That’d be fucking annoying. And I especially don’t want them here. Business never comes home with me; I’m not going to start now just because I’m head.”

Sighing, his mother replied “I just want you safe.”

“Everyone wants everyone safe, Vesela. If something is to happen, then it was meant to be.”

“Whoa, tatko,” Joseph laughed. Raising an eyebrow at him, his father waited for him to explain. “Dyado actually rubbed off on you. He always said stuff like that. He’d be so proud.”

“Ookay, whatever,” his father laughed as he stood. How he swallowed the sandwich so fast made no sense to Joseph. His father grabbed one last sandwich and said “I gotta go. I’ll see you guys tonight.” Stopping next to Joseph, he pressed a kiss to the side of his head and murmured “I’m so proud of you, brat. Normal is getting closer and closer, huh?”

Delight fluttered through his chest at his father’s pride. It was a hard thing to get, so whenever it was given Joseph couldn’t be happier.  “Baby steps,” he smiled.

“Damn right!” His father called as he walked to the door. “Love you both and bye. Wish me luck.”

“Good luck!” They shouted after him as he walked out and shut the door.

Taking the last bite of her sandwich, his mother smiled “Proud of you too. You know, if my opinion is any good. Your bashtá’s seems a little more important than mine sometimes.”

Getting off his chair, he walked around the table to his mother and hugged her close. “It means a lot, mayko. But I don’t have to worry about getting your opinion because you’re so awesome and always give it to me. Tatko makes me work for it.”

“That he does,” she sighed into his hair, hugging him back. “Joseph?” He hummed in response, waiting for her to continue. “Down for some baseball practice?”

Smiling into her shoulder, he replied “Down and ready, my lady. Well, after I change and relax for like an hour. My feet ache. I think I need to walk more often.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband


	78. Chapter 77

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com) I drew Ronan's bmw if anyone is curious enough to go see my pretty decent talent at drawing cars
> 
> Nothing that I can think of? You guys probably get bothered by my long ass notes anyways lol. I ramble and babble, I know  
> See y'all Thursday, enjoy today's chpt and thank you to all my lovely peeps! 
> 
> OH idk if any of you have ever read the Queen's Thief series by Megan Whalen Turner (u guys really should) but I made scenes out of Peeps for a contest of hers. If anyone ever wanted to see a marshmallow chick with a six pack, you should go look!
> 
> _“He knows you’re not supposed to diss a lady or else she’s gonna come for you.”_

His mother was busy so, sadly, Joseph didn’t have his pitcher today. Tryouts were tomorrow and Joseph was so nervous that he could probably pee on himself. He was so worried he wasn’t going to make it. Yes, his mother had told him they’d be proud either way but Joseph just really wanted to make it.

For himself.

Even if he just made the first cut, he’d be proud of himself. He’d be disappointed if he didn’t make the team but at least he would have jumped one hurdle. There were three cuts that Joseph would have to get through to make the team. It suddenly sounded like a lot.

Shaking his head to clear it, he focused back on the ball and bat. His main issue was batting; he was a fantastic pitcher now and he could catch pretty well. But teams liked players that could hit at the same time.

He couldn’t just quite yet. If Joseph were to average himself, he’d say out of ten balls, he could manage three. That wasn’t good enough.

Taking in a nice deep breath, Joseph picked up the ball and was about to pick up the bat when he noticed a car driving down the street. A car he knew quite well.

Joseph was good at aiming.

Drawing his arm back, he flung the ball as hard as he could at the passenger area of the windshield. It shattered through the glass and the car came to a screeching stop. Out came the driver, face filled with shock and anger.

“What the hell, Joseph?” Venc asked incredulously.

The anger he had been feeling at Vencislav came bubbling to the top. He wouldn’t snap though; he’d learned from his father how to keep that anger just at the surface. “Oh, hi Venc.” He crossed his arms and stared down the man walking over to him.

Venc looked at him as if he wasn’t sure who the person standing in front of him was. “Oh, hi Venc? Are you serious?”

“Are you?” He asked angrily. “You actually have the nerve to show up at my house? Did it occur to you that no one wants to see your stupid face?”

He flinched and hurt filled his eyes. “Joseph, I-”

“I what?” Joseph interrupted furiously. “I’m sorry? I really hope that’s not what you’re going to say. Because no one wants to hear it from you. No one even wants to talk to you. Do you even get how much you hurt us? Fine, you’re mad cuz you don’t wanna dump your girl but the decent thing to do was to at least call or something. At least for Christmas. Did you forget where you would be if it wasn’t for tatko? You’d probably be dead or eating garbage off the street, you ungrateful bastard.” Joseph froze when he realized what he said.

That wasn’t supposed to come out. It was actually a part of his father’s rant after Christmas.

Vencislav looked down and fiddled with the hem of his shirt, then stuffed his hands into his jacket pockets. Looking up, Joseph was struck by how much pain he had managed to cause. “I know…” Venc whispered. “I owe everything to your bashtá. I really know, Joseph. And I was gonna call for Christmas but I was too much of a coward to manage it. I just… I made a huge mistake, okay? P-People make mistakes. I owe you an apology for trying to drag you into the conversation last time. That was wrong of me.”

Calming himself, Joseph replied “Apology accepted. But I’m still mad at you.”

A small corner upturned of Venc’s mouth. “My car can see that. Nice throw by the way.”

“Thanks,” he said stiffly.

Sadness fluttered on Venc’s face. “I really am sorry,” he murmured. Joseph could actually hear the genuine grief and guilt cracking Venc’s voice. “I was upset and I was being an idiot. I wanna apologize to your mom too. Your bashtá obviously.”

Sighing, Joseph walked over to the older boy and hugged him; Venc happily hugged back. “You really hurt him, you know.”

Letting out a sigh of his own, Venc sat on the edge of the street with Joseph following suit. “I know. I mean, he hurt me too – literally – but I know I was wrong.” Looking to Joseph, he asked “How bad?”

“Well, you made home into hell more so than it can be sometimes. He blows at unexpected times, he’s incredibly touchy…before Christmas, he had a mental breakdown.”

Concern flooded Venc’s features. “Seriously?”

“Yeah,” Joseph nodded, “He just…broke, I guess. He kept pounding the wall ‘til his hand and the wall broke and then sat on the floor and started crying. Sobbing.”

“Oh Jesus… I’m such a piece of shit.”

“Well, yeah but then I guess everyone kinda is.” He shrugged and added “Sorta natural, you know?”

Laughing, Venc smiled “I missed you a lot. I missed all of you a lot. Hopefully your bashtá will be as forgiving as you. Baba barely even speaks to me after she found out what happened and Ivet only ever talks to me if she has to. She’s still super pissed at me.”

Resting his head on Vencislav’s shoulder, Joseph asked “What brought you back?”

“Well,” Venc sighed, “Honestly I wanted to beg for forgiveness the next day. But then I just couldn’t manage it. Then I kept telling myself ‘tomorrow’ and ‘tomorrow’ and then it just kept going, you know? But I did what he said. I looked up Johanna’s family.”

Freezing, Joseph picked up his head and looked at the man next to him. “You found something, didn’t you?”

Looking so incredibly depressed, Vencislav murmured “Kind of, yes.”

“Don’t tell anyone I said this but… something that could fuck us over?”

Covering his face with his hands, he muttered “Possibly.”

“Oh boy.”

“Yup,” Venc muffled through his hands. “Your dad’s so gonna let me hear it. But I deserve ever word. Can I give you some advice, Joseph?”

“’Course.”

Turning his face to Joseph, he laughed “Don’t let your brain go to your dick. Keep it in your head if you can.”

Joseph smiled as best as he could manage but the comment made him uncomfortable. His brain probably wouldn’t even go to his dick in the first place since he wasn’t even attracted to girls. He was about to make some joke when the look Venc was giving him stopped him.

He wasn’t sure why but it made him uncomfortable. Despite how weird it seemed…

It was almost like Venc _knew._

A second later, the knowing look disappeared and was replaced with a bright smile. “Word of the wise, my dude.”

Smiling back, Joseph replied “Thank you. Advice is always good.”

They both turned when they heard his mother calling. She stuck her head out of the door a second later to which him and Venc waved. His mother stared for a few minutes before coming over to them. Hands on her hips, she glared nastily at Venc. The nasty glare that she generally reserved for when she was mad at his father. Or his Tétka.

“Hi, Lady Vesela,” Venc smiled weakly.

She was silent, her eyes flashing with anger. Huffing, the fire went out and she crossed her arms. “Hi.”

“I’m so so so sorry. I really really am. Please don’t hate me,” Venc begged.

Sighing, she murmured “I could never hate you, idiot.”

“Oh thank God,” Venc sighed in relief. Standing up, he sort of went in for a hug but paused to make sure she was okay with it. Rolling her eyes, she accepted the hug. “I’m really sorry,” he whispered again.

“I know.”

Pulling away, he mumbled “Will you help me talk to Ivo? I kinda don’t wanna die…”

Smiling a small sad smile, Joseph mother responded “I’ll help but that doesn’t mean anything and you know it. Luck and a whole amount of begging and groveling is what you need.”

Nodding quickly, Venc swore “I’ll do anything.”

  

* * *

 

All he could feel right now was that he was going to throw up. Joseph paced nervously behind the fence on the baseball field. The good thing about the tryouts was that it wasn’t an open public thing. Just the two coaches and the kids who wanted to try out. That had helped Joseph’s nerves a lot.

He felt like he had done good for the first round. The coaches were talking right now about who they were keeping for the first cut. This round had been about pitching and catching – Joseph’s strengths.

Tomorrow was batting. That was what he was really worried about if he did make the first cut.

Crossing his fingers, he paced some more and said a prayer while he was at it. The team was the age group of nine to twelve. Technically, Joseph initially wasn’t allowed to try because he was a third grader but after explaining that he was actually almost ten and had been held back they let him try out.

It had lasted for two hours and his arms ached, he was hungry, and exhausted. His mother had wanted to pick him up today but he decided that walking was better.

Just in case he needed to cry on the way home. Joseph knew what failure felt like and it hurt a lot. He didn’t want his mother to have to see it written all over him.

Gnawing his lip, Joseph sat on one of the benches and took a sip of his water bottle. He thought back to last night as he waited for the results.

_His father sat down on the couch, putting one leg on the other, leaning back and contemplating the boy in front of him. His face was a mixture of unimpressed and disgust. “My, it looks like the little cat dragged himself back? What’s this?”_

_Venc shifted nervously on the other couch. He had ultimately told Joseph’s mother that he needed to handle this by himself, so her and Joseph were sitting at the island, watching intently how this would go down. “I came to humbly ask for your forgiveness, my lord. I stepped completely out of line and am expressing my remorse for the incident. I had no right to question you. You have my sincerest and truest apologies.”_

_Joseph wondered why Venc was talking so formally when he realized that right now this conversation wasn’t between Venc and Ivo. It was between Vencislav – an advisor who questioned the word of his lord – and Lord Kavinsky. What had to happen before the friendship was repaired was that the line of professionalism had to be reestablished._

_“Mmm,” his father hummed, “sincerest and truest apologies…” His face was blank as he sat and stared at Venc. It was the business side of his father, Joseph knew. The mobster who murdered and occasionally tortured. The one who ran the entirety of Hoboken and could make people disappear in a second._

_Joseph didn’t like him sitting in his house._

_Straightening where he was sitting, Venc took a small breath and stared confidently back. Joseph was impressed – if he had to face that side of his father, he’d be terrified. “Yes. I was wrong, this I know. I ask for forgiveness. You have only ever been generous and merciful with me; I beg that be extended once more. I’ll take a position far lower than I ever had; I simply beg for your hand to be extended once more to me.”_

_Silence extended for minutes on end. Joseph could almost feel the crackling of the air as even it waited in suspense. The quiet continued on but neither man sitting on the couches moved a millimeter. After what felt like years, his father stood with Venc following suit, standing straight._

_“The hand is extended,” his father replied. “Your advice has been irreplaceable over the years. You’ll be reinstated to your position as advisor. May God forgive you and what brought us to this point. Now if you don’t mind, Advisor Mateev, I prefer not conduct business in my home. I’ll have you leave now.”_

_Joseph could see the very brief flash of pain and distress on Venc’s face before it disappeared. He may have won the battle of having his job once again._

_It didn’t mean he had won back his place as part of the family._

“Kavinsky!”

Joseph jumped from his thoughts and looked over to the coaches. The lady coach – Coach Rodriguez – waved him over, a paper in her hands. His heart was beating so fast right now, he wouldn’t be surprised if he had a heart attack. Running over to them, he tried to keep his hopes tempered just in case.

The man coach – Coach Day – patted him on the shoulder; Joseph didn’t appreciate being touched. “Nice job, kid. We’ll see you tomorrow. Rest up those arms.”

Staring in shock, a smile overtook his worried face. “Really?”

“Really,” Coach Rodriguez replied, a smile of her own on her face. Handing him the paper, she said “Schedule for tomorrow is on it and on the bottom, get a parent to sign it. Can’t play without the signature, got it?”

“Got it,” he nodded in excitement as he took the paper. Joseph couldn’t wait to get home and tell his mother.

He’d put a smile on his father’s face tonight.

Stuffing the paper in his bag and zipping it shut, Joseph took off for home. Despite how tired he was, all he wanted to do right now was break the news. His mother was going to be so happy.

  

* * *

 

Ivo got out of his car, ready to drop in exhaustion. It was already past midnight and he had barely gotten home. Maybe if he delegated more, he wouldn’t have to do so much himself. Unlocking the connecting door, he walked in to the quiet house. All the lights were off but he knew Vesela was awake upstairs. She never went to sleep without him being home.

Sighing and slipping off his shoes, he padded up the stairs and stopped at Joseph’s door, opening it quietly to peek in. Surprisingly, the bed was empty and the blankets still nice and crisp. In his bed then?

Walking down the hall, he went into his room and was met with a smiling Vesela as she flicked a glance up from the Gameboy. If anyone had gotten addicted, it was Vesela. Mario was driving her insane.

“Hello,” he murmured quietly when he noticed Joseph asleep on the bed. “Not nightmares, I hope?”

Shaking her head and looking back at the game, she said “No, thank God. He was waiting for you. You weren’t supposed to be late today.”

“Yeah, I know,” he sighed while emptying his pockets onto the dresser. “It’s not really in my hands sometimes.” Taking off his jacket and hanging it up, Ivo asked “Waiting for any particular reason?”

A beautiful sparkling smile erupted on Vesela’s face. His heart fluttered and there was a twitch in his pants that he didn’t want to bother with. He was way too exhausted even if Joseph wasn’t in the room. “Yes, actually. He wanted to share some news that’ll win him a smile and some pride.”

“Oh?”

“Mhmm. Paper is still in his hand. I didn’t want to take it.”

Flicking a glance to his child as he finished the last few buttons on his shirt, he threw it in the laundry basket as he grabbed a shirt from the dresser. He slipped it on as he walked to the bed and carefully pulled the paper from Joseph’s hand.

Sitting down on the bed, he read what he had in his hand. “Baseball team?” He said after reading the paper a few times in surprise.

“Yup! Well, it’s only the first cut but you should have seen how happy he was when he showed me. I can’t remember the last time his face sparkled that much. Batting is tomorrow which isn’t really his strong suit. He’s worried he won’t make the second round.”

His mind fluttered through all times he had seen Joseph playing baseball the past couple months. “How come no one told me? You knew.”

“I only found out last month. He didn’t even want to tell me but he needed a pitcher. He wanted to surprise us. His words were something around ‘I want to see tatko smile with some happiness again.’”

He couldn’t help the smile that erupted on his face as he looked to the sleeping form of the little boy beside him.

Ivo would give him all the smiles and pride that he wanted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband


	79. Chapter 78

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)  
>  If any of you looked at Ronan's car, I posted it on twitter and MAGGIE RETWEETED IT. I feel so unimaginably happy, you guys have no clue. It's got like 300 something likes and 30 something retweets and that's the most attention I've ever gotten for my art. Like no joke. My stuff rarely gets noticed at all. So yeah, besides for stomach flu and school, the past week was awesome.
> 
> Enjoy today's chpt (Emilio's here!) and yeah... ^.^ Don't forget that questions and complaints (yes complaints. I don't get offended. I'd rather know what isn't working well or something then not know) are always welcome
> 
> Mini Spanish dictionary note: nieto - grandson  
> Also a new word has been added to the Bulgarian dict to prep you for the next chpt (has the dictionary been helpful?)
> 
> _“I was invited to a birthday and I showed up. Well, we showed up.”_

Joseph and Emilio watched in awe as the ball sailed far across their makeshift diamond. Even Mr. Vidal was watching, his head turning as the ball flew over him. They all turned back to the smiling figure at home base.

“I think I still got it, huh?” His father asked in glee, seeming as giddy as a child. He looked ready to bounce in happiness.

“Eh,” Joseph replied, trying to keep his face straight.

His father stared at him incredulously. “Eh?”

“Yeah just eh,” Emilio jumped in although he was terrible at keep his face neutral. He already had this goofy half-smile forming. Joseph liked that smile.

Rolling his eyes, his father replied “Pft, what do you two know.”

“No, Ivo, they’re right,” Mr. Vidal chimed in. “Just eh.”

“As if you guys could do any better.”

Shrugging, Joseph said “Maybe not but you’d never be able to hit one of mayko’s pitches. Those things are fast.”

Emilio turned to look at him in surprise. “She plays?”

“Best pitcher in Hoboken and Jersey City, my friend. During her time, of course. Maybe still, who knows.”

Mr. Vidal looked to Joseph’s father for confirmation. Eyes sparkling and smile on his face, his father said “She’s fucking kickass. Well, used to be. Honestly, I don’t know if she can still play like she used to. The first time I watched one of her games, I was like holy shit because she was amazing. She had sprained her ankle during a run but she still played. Vesela’s my badass.”

“I’m beyond badass, dear husband mine,” his mother laughed as she walked up. “So food’s ready if you guys are coming?”

They had come to the park for Joseph’s birthday. His tenth birthday.

He was double digits now.

Of course the Vidals had been invited. There was very little that they did as far as occasions where they wouldn’t invite them. Sometimes it was just for dinner. Or lunch. Or breakfast.

This year, like the last, they had eventually decided that it’d be cruel to not invite his Tétka’s family. So they were here too.

“Pitch me a ball first,” his father said in excitement. He swung the bat a little then got into his stance. “C’mon.”

Smug look on her face, his mother walked to the ‘pitcher’s mound’ where Joseph was and picked up a ball. “Someone’s in a mood to be disappointed.” Scooting a bit, she smiled “Excuse me, baby, while I put your bashtá in his place.”

“Of course, my lady,” he laughed in reply, moving away to give her room. “He seems to think you don’t have it in you anymore.”

“Tsk, tsk, Ivo.” She prepped her arm, swinging it and loosening her shoulder.

Settling himself on the grass, Mr. Vidal called “Never doubted you for a second, just so you know.”

“Shut up, asshat. No one’s talking to you,” his father said from the base, still ready and waiting.

“My dad’s smart, Mr. Kavinsky,” Emilio piped up, taking a seat beside his father. “He knows you’re not supposed to diss a lady or else she’s gonna come for you.”

They all laughed as his father rolled his eyes. “C’mon, Vesela.”

“Alright, alright.” She gave one last wiggle to her arm and pitched like Joseph knew she could.

There was no crack, no satisfying noise of ball hitting bat. Just the sound of the air breaking where his father swung.

His mother adjusted her ponytail and put a hand on her hip, looking incredibly satisfied with herself. Joseph, Emilio, and Mr. Vidal all laughed as his father straightened, looked at the bat in his hand, looked at Joseph’s mother, and then looked behind himself. All in confusion.

After a moment of continuous gazes and confusion, his father said in awe “Damn…” Looking to his wife, he laughed “That was fucking amazing. Holy shit, Vesela. Number two’s still got it, huh?”

“No duh.”

Emilio whooped in delight. “You’re totally awesome, Mrs. Kavinsky. I bet you were amazing to watch in games.”

“Obviously,” she laughed as she walked off their diamond and called behind herself “Hurry up, food’s getting cold!”

“I wish I had made the team,” Joseph sighed in defeat. It still ate at him two months later despite his parents saying he did good and how proud they were. The words took away a bit of the bite of failure but not all of it.

He hadn’t made the second cut. Coach Rodriguez told him that his batting still needed work. To try again next year. Disappointment had toppled him like nothing else. His parents hadn’t been upset and told him that practice would get him there next year.

Joseph sure hoped so. He loved the smiles and joyous feelings of pride he had received.

“There’s always next year,” Mr. Vidal said in an encouraging voice. “You tried and you saw what it’s like. Now you just have to get there.”

“No worries, brat,” his father called as he walked off to get the ball, “We just gotta practice. You’ll make it next time. You gave a damn good effort.”

“I guess,” he muttered.

“If it makes you feel any better,” Emilio murmured, “You did better than I ever could. I suck bad. Like really bad. Baseball is not my thing.”

Smiling to his friend, Joseph replied “Thanks but you don’t have to put yourself down to make me feel better.”

Emilio shrugged and said “No put downs, just truth, homeboy.”

“Why are you so intent on being ghetto trash, dear child?” His father muttered, walking up to where they were all seated on the grass and took a seat himself.

Groaning, Mr. Vidal grumbled “Thank you.” He looked to Emilio and said “See? Even the ghetto trash himself is telling you how horrible of an idea it is.”

“Jackass,” his father laughed.

Joseph remembered that he had never told Emilio something super important. Poking his friend to get his attention, Joseph asked “Do you wanna hear something? You’re gonna love it.”

Nodding in excitement, Emilio’s eyes sparkled in delight. If Joseph was allowed to only ever admire one thing about his friend’s looks, it would be those eyes. They always gave him shivers from how beautiful they were with some emotion flooding through them.

“So I think tatko sees you as his gangster role model because the other day he totally impersonated you.”

Emilio broke into laughter and laughed even harder when he heard Joseph’s father groan “I thought we weren’t going to tell him that?”

Laughing, Joseph responded “We never made a deal. Plus, I think it’s good for his gangster self-esteem.”

Snorting from his own bout of laughter, Mr. Vidal said “We should probably get up before we get yelled at. I don’t know about you gentlemen, but angry women terrify me.”

“Amen to that,” his father snorted as they all stood to go stuff their faces with barbecue.

 

“You should have come with us,” Joseph told Andrey who was sitting on the other side of the bench. Sure, he didn’t actually want Andrey to come play with them but Joseph knew what it was like sitting alone. It wasn’t fun being the one left out. “It was fun.”

Andrey shrugged, “I’m good.”

Biting his lip, Joseph tried again. “Well, sure but…sitting on the bench can’t be more fun than playing baseball?”

“Can you just stop trying to act all nice? We both know you don’t really care if I play or not.”

“At least I’m trying,” he muttered. Turning to Emilio beside him, he asked “Guess Maria had better stuff to do, huh?”

“Maria says she’s too old to be going to her brother’s friend’s birthday party,” Emilio replied, rolling his eyes as he did. “She’s apparently too cool for that stuff.”

“What’s the difference between last year and this year?” Joseph wondered. “We still have the same amount of years between us.”

“She’s seventeen now and shouldn’t have to do everything with her family. She says she’s gonna do homework but I’m pretty sure she’s gonna invite her boyfriend over. That’s why papa had Ms. Savelio go sit with her.”

Nodding as he took a bite of steak – his tetincho really knew how to cook – Joseph inquired “When’d she get a boyfriend?”

“Last week. Personally, I don’t like him.”

“Because?”

Emilio shrugged and said “I don’t know, he’s just…eh. Mama likes him so I guess we should trust her instincts. Papa kind of does but not really.”

Joseph wondered if he’d ever be in a relationship. Probably not because being gay was wrong and he didn’t need to advertise what was wrong with him. But maybe he’d just try with a girl? Maybe he thought he was gay but he wasn’t really. Maybe once he was with a girl, he’d realize that his attraction to guys was never real.

But looking back into Emilio’s beautiful eyes, Joseph knew that it was as real as he was.

Sighing away his thoughts, Joseph looked at Mr. Vidal as he sat down across from Joseph beside Andrey. “Why don’t you like Maria’s boyfriend?”

“Probably because he’s her boyfriend,” his father laughed when he sat on Mr. Vidal’s other side. “Fathers don’t like it when their girls have guys.”

He thought Mr. Vidal would deny it but surprisingly he didn’t. “Would you be different if you had a daughter?”

Looking thoughtful, his father said after sip of water “I don’t know. I think it’d depend on the guy.”

“Really?” Mr. Vidal said in disbelief. “Load of bull, Ivo.”

“Pft, we don’t know that. Like I said it’d depend. I know what it’s like having to sneak around because your girlfriend’s dad doesn’t like you. Annoying as fuck.”

“Not fair, Ivo,” his mother called from where she sat with his Tétka, Mrs. Vidal, Emilio’s grandma, and the girls. “Tate liked you. He just didn’t like you with me. There’s a difference.”

“Whatever. All the same. Anyways, I don’t think I’d be good with a daughter anyways.”

 _Definitely not…you can barely handle your son…_ “I don’t want siblings anyways.”

Mr. Vidal looked at him curiously, “No? Maybe a brother?”

“I’d love a brother,” Emilio sighed over his piece of chicken.

Laughing, Mr. Vidal replied “Sorry, papi, I tried. Mama will kill me if I suggest we try one more time. Then no brother or father.”

“He won’t need them if his dad is stupid enough to suggest,” Mrs. Vidal said sweetly with a pretty smile on her face.

“One more can’t hurt,” Mr. Vidal laughed. “I say we go for it.”

His Tétka placed a hand on her round growing stomach. She had told them in the beginning of the year that she was expecting; the baby was due next month. They didn’t know the gender because she wanted to be surprised but his Tétka wanted another girl. “When you push the babies out of you, come say it doesn’t hurt. But not until then. Men get the easy part in the baby making process.”

Everyone broke into laughter. Joseph’s mother chimed “Maybe we should go for another, huh Ivo?”

Both Joseph and his father stared at his mother like she had gone insane. “No way,” his father shook his head. “We had our happy accident and he’s plenty.”

Joseph ignored the little flashes of some kind of emotion in his Tétka’s and tetíncho’s eyes. He didn’t want to think about what his father might have done that would make his mother being pregnant an unhappy accident.

“What’s a happy accident?” Emilio asked curiously. “How do you have a baby as a happy accident?”

The adults looked slightly awkward while Joseph’s father laughed and his tetíncho looked like he wanted to say something like ‘this is why we don’t talk this stuff in front of kids.’ Since the adults weren’t answering, Joseph decided that sense he knew the answer to the question, he could totally answer it.

“They forgot the condom, Emilio.”

His father snorted as he laughed even harder. Mr. Vidal even started laughing, not being able to stop himself. Mrs. Vidal and his Tétka, even abuela Vidal, were hiding their giggles as his mother’s face turned incredibly red. Typically of his tetíncho lately, he looked pissed.

Looking around the table, Emilio replied “Ya…I… I don’t know what that is…”

Andrey looked confused too. “I don’t either. What is it?”

“You put it on your dick when you have sex so you don’t make babies,” Joseph answered after swallowing a bite of hotdog. “It’s like rubber.”

The adults continued their laughs as Emilio hummed in understanding while nodding “Oh…”

Choking on a laugh, his father uncovered his face from his hands which were propped by his elbows on the table. Joseph smiled in delight when he saw that he had been laughing so hard that his face was actually red. “Well, it’s good to know that you know the practices of safe sex. My job as a father has been completed.”

Wiping tears from his eyes as he got through his last couple of chuckles, Mr. Vidal said “I’m sorry, Emilio, it seems I was putting it off for too long.”

Tetíncho looked between the two men like they were crazy. “Are you two serious? He’s ten. There shouldn’t have been talks of sex already. It’s incredibly inappropriate for a child. What would Timotei say if he heard such things coming out of Joseph’s mouth?”

That was a good question. Joseph would ask his grandfather at their next appointment.

“Well,” his father said, “It’d be something about sewing my mouth shut or how maybe he should’ve cut out my tongue years ago. Then he’d say to Joseph ‘my dear vnuk, such inappropriate things shouldn’t be said aloud or in company.’ Then Joseph would nod, then I’ll get yelled at in private later and then, BAM, situation over.” He smiled when he finished and took a sip of his water.

“That was a really good impersonation, tatko. Almost on point.”

“I’ve had years to perfect it,” he laughed.

Emilio looked at Tetíncho Yulian curiously. “You don’t think it’s important for a child to know about safe sex?”

Looking like he couldn’t believe that no one was telling Emilio not to ask such a question, Tetíncho Yulian replied “Not at ten, no. Seventeen maybe.”

“Seventeen, Yulian,” his father said incredulously. “Seriously? My father gave me ‘the talk’,” he used air quotes, “when I was thirteen.”

“Then why’d you tell me to come back when I’m fifteen?” Joseph asked.

“I probably would’ve went for fourteen, though. In the middle. Although, it seems I’ve covered the basics already without even realizing it.”

“Were you planning on having sex already at thirteen?” Mr. Vidal asked in surprise.

Tetíncho Yulian’s face flashed in annoyance. “We are not having these types of conversations while my children are sitting. I’m surprised you are when yours are. Your daughters especially.”

“Alicia is fourteen and Linda twelve. One took sex ed already and the other is going to very soon. And I’d prefer that my children know that they can freely speak about anything they need to with me or Claudia. Them knowing such a thing leads to them learning and asking questions rather than being confused or experimenting. I don’t want them to ever be embarrassed to ask anything. Obviously, Ivo beat both of us to that.”

Whooping and fist pumping the air, his father laughed “Never thought I’d see the day where I’m the better father here.” Sticking out a fist to Joseph, he smiled “Put it here, brat, to improvement. Amazingness I am on my way.” His father still had a long way to go but he still deserved a bump so Joseph gladly gave it to him.

“And no,” he said turning to Mr. Vidal. “But that’s when I got my first girlfriend and after my dad gave me the talk, he said if I come home saying he’s gonna have a grandchild, he’ll beat my ass so bad my baby wouldn’t recognize me. So it definitely stayed in my pants.”

“That sounds like something I’ve heard,” Mr. Vidal laughed while looking at abuela Vidal. “Huh, mama? You don’t forget anything.”

“What’d she say, papa?” Alicia asked. “She totally threatened you with la chankla, huh?”

“Wait, wait,” Joseph interrupted. “What’s a chankla?”

“A sandal,” Emilio responded, humor in his sparkling eyes. “Abuela is always threating us with it. Sometimes she throws it at us too but always misses.”

“Oh if I wanted to hit you, nieto, I would,” Abuela Vidal smiled, a mischievous gleam in her eyes.

“I believe it’s in every Latina to have perfect skill with the chankla,” Mr. Vidal laughed. Looking back to Alicia, he replied “And she didn’t just threaten, she beat me with it. Your abuela is nasty, mija.”

“Why don’t you tell them why I beat you with it?”

Mr. Vidal turned back to his food, “No, we’re good.”

“No, we fucking aren’t,” Joseph father cut in. “C’mon let’s hear it.”

Leaning back a little, Mr. Vidal said “Well… I may have come home one day when I was seventeen with Maria’s mom and told her this is my new wife; we’re getting married because she’s expecting my baby! Then I got my ass whupped. Horribly and painfully whupped with la chankla. That doesn’t include the yelling I got afterwards.” He pointed at Emilio, “Don’t you dare do that to me. I will call abuela and tell her to bring the chankla.”

Giggling, Emilio shook his head. “No worries, papi. I’ll be smart like Mr. Kavinsky and keep it my pants. And I’ll be smarter than both of you when the time comes and use a condom because you obviously forgot when you made Maria.”

They all fell into deep hysterics – minus his tetíncho who merely shook his head – laughing to their hearts content.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')


	80. Chapter 79

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> So I've had really bad writing block for three weeks now... Like it hit me hard, I haven't written a thing and now I'm out of surplus... I'm just stumped in plot I guess. So I sat down and realized that if I'm gonna work out of it, I've gotta get out of my outline and plot. Write something fun. So I decided to write a 4th of July snapshot instead of the story. The snapshot ended up being almost 5,000 words and I feel like that's pretty big to be a snapshot.
> 
> So now said snapshot is part of the story! Somehow I managed myself to write for the main story. I'm quite proud of myself. Writer's block hurts bad, dudes. The snapshot is now split as two story chapters which come up next! This puts the coming nasty angst on pause. Sorry, Goldfish (or do you prefer Fangirl? I kinda like calling you Goldfish if you don't mind it)
> 
> Oh so a couple ppl I know said Ivo's name out loud and were saying it wrong? I guess I always figured ppl say it how I do which is stupid I know. So Ivo is pronounced Ee-vo (like the car) not Eye-vo and the rule applies to Ivet too. Ee-vet not Eye-vet. I'll let you guys know if I think of any others
> 
> Enter Vencislav, my friends ;) Enjoy!   
> I'll see you guys Thursday! There's about three weeks left of school for me so once I'm done, there'll be a lot more time to write which means more updates! We'll end up going back to three times a week.
> 
> _“And then drive for four hours. Pack my five kids, my wife, and my mother. And sit with them in a car for four hours.”_

“Sorry, we’re late, traffic was a bitch. Along with other things.”

Joseph turned and smiled to Venc, Ivet, and their bába. The butterflies were awake in his stomach because he had invited Venc without telling anyone. This was going to be interesting.

_“Hiya, Venc,” Joseph said into the handset. He was sitting in his father’s office using the phone before he came home. Joseph had also made sure that his mother was doing something._

_Surprise was evident in Venc’s voice. “Hey, Joseph. What’s up?”_

_“Uh…so my birthday is coming up and…I want you guys to be there. It’s gonna be at the park next to the library. Can you guys make it? It’s the same day, on the tenth.”_

_There was silence on the other end for some time. “Joseph, you know that your father doesn’t talk to me outside of work. He’d never want me to be there.”_

_Sounding more confident than he was actually feeling, Joseph replied “It’s my birthday not his. And I want you there. Ivet and your bába too.”_

_“Joseph…”_

_“I’ll handle it, Venc. You guys just show up – don’t forget my present – and I’ll take care of the rest. Okay?”_

_Probably looking incredibly worried, Venc said quietly “I’m not going to let you get into trouble because you want to try and fix the mess I put myself into. It’s my problem not yours.”_

_“I’m not fixing anything,” he lied, “I’m inviting for my party. My tenth birthday. Double digits are a big deal, you know. Kind of ironic that my birthday is on the tenth and I’m turning ten, huh?”_

_“Yeah, I guess it is...” There was only the sound of Venc’s breathing as he thought of what to say. Joseph could almost hear his brain gears shifting too. “We’ll be there. We’re not missing your intro to double digits.”_

“Hi, guys!” Joseph smiled huge, trying to hide his fear at how his father was going to react. Emilio and his family gave their own enthused greetings but everyone else looked a mixture of worried and surprised. Mr. Vidal had given greetings but was watching Joseph’s father carefully.

“The fuck are you doing here?”

Venc’s face looked a little pale but his voice came out strong. “I was invited to a birthday and I showed up. Well, we showed up.”

Joseph could just feel his father’s glare on the back of his head. Slowly turning his head, he smiled nervously and said “It’s not exactly a birthday without Venc and them here. He’s never missed one.”

He wanted to tell people that you didn’t need blue eyes for them to be ice chips because his father’s were brown but Joseph was definitely seeing the hard crispness. “I don’t remember you asking for permission.”

“Well…”

“He asked me, Ivo. I told him that because it’s his party, he gets to decide.” Joseph breathed the hugest sigh of relief as he looked at his mother whose own gaze was hard, daring his father to challenge her. He hadn’t asked her but if she was willing to back him up, Joseph wasn’t going to say no.

Anger and annoyance flashed on his father’s face but he stayed silent, turning to look at his empty plate. Letting out the breath he was holding, Joseph looked to Venc and his family and smiled “Well, sit.”

Face filled with disbelief and amazement, Venc whispered “You’re so fucking crazy.”

“Runs in the family.”

They took their seats and conversation slowly came back. Eventually, Venc’s grandma rose and stood behind Joseph’s father, determination set on her face. Feeling someone at his back, his father turned and stared at her. “Yes?” He always spoke to her in the highest respect, with his tone reflecting that. Joseph wondered if it was because he missed his mother.

“Follow,” she said simply in Bulgarian, nodding in a random direction.

Breathing deep, his father stood and followed her. Everyone watched until they were out of sight and then Ivet said “Joseph, you’re so out of your brain, dude. I woulda peed in my pants from the way he was looking at you.”

Laughing a little, Joseph mumbled “How do you know I didn’t?”

Emilio looked down then back up and smiled “You’re good.”

Giving a real laugh this time, Joseph said “Well that’s good. I would’ve had no clue.” Turning to Venc, he told him “I better have gotten a really good present for getting you here.”

Smiling, Venc replied “I didn’t pick it out, sorry. If it sucks then take it up with Ivet.”

“If it’s awesome, she gets all the credit,” Linda jumped in.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” His mother inquired.

Tétka Nikol stared between them. “I’m pretty sure I just heard you say he asked you.”

Shaking her head, she responded “You did but he didn’t. But it’d blow over a lot easier – as you saw – if Ivo thought he did.” Looking back to Joseph, she asked again “Why didn’t you say something?”

Scratching his head, Joseph said “Uh… I forgot? But…thanks…”

“Jesus, child…”

“Buuutt…it’s all good…”

Tetíncho looked at him like he was an idiot. “I know you’re not that stupid.”

Shrugging, Joseph replied “It’ll be fine. No biggie. Venc’s just gotta do his half. I did the hard part, bába Mateev is buttering him up, now Venc has to take care of the rest.”

Venc looked at him in confusion. “Wait, wait, wait. You talked to bába about this?”

“After I talked to you. I figured you’d go have a panic attack in the bathroom, so you wouldn’t answer the phone. Then I called again and Ivet picked up and she gave it to bába. Then I told her I was trying to fix you people and then she laid out all this speech she’d say to tatko. And then we figured we just had to guilt you into doing your part. Then Ivet deleted the call from your phone.”

Everyone stared at him. He couldn’t tell if they were impressed or shocked. Emilio was definitely impressed. “That’s so smart…Like total mastermind. You’re totally awesome.”

Trying his best not to blush although he must not have been successful because Mr. Vidal was watching him with this look on his face, Joseph laughed “Thank you. If I was ever a mobster or detective, I think I’d be a really good one.”

“So…what exactly is my part?” Venc interrupted. “Because I’ve laid out like fifty thousand forms of apologies and nothing works.”

“Your part is your part,” Joseph shrugged. “I’ve no idea what it is but it’s something. I can’t think of everything.”

“That is not reassuring. How do we know that this is going to end up better than all the other times?”

Mr. Vidal spoke up. “We don’t but you have a clear open shot. You’d be incredibly stupid if you don’t go for it. And excuse my language everyone, but don’t fuck it up, Venc.”

“Ivo rubbing off on you?” Tetíncho Yulian disdained.

“No. I happen to have a very large vocabulary of colorful language. I just don’t see a reason for using it in everyday speech. But this is a drastic time and drastic times call for drastic language.” Pointing at Venc, Mr. Vidal said firmly “So, don’t fuck it up. I hate putting up with a whiney Ivo. It’s incredibly annoying.”

Joseph grinned huge and said “Tatko believes he’s allowed pity moments once in a while. Friends gotta put up with those, Mr. Vidal.” He looked up when he saw his father and Venc’s grandmother walking back towards them. But he couldn’t tell if everything went well or not; their expressions were schooled to a clean slate.

Bába Mateev went to sit but his father stood across from Joseph, staring at him. “Get up.”

His heart stopped beating in less than a second. Trying to not show the world that he was terrified to be alone with his father, Joseph got off the bench and followed his father as he walked off. Having a panic attack right now would be very very bad. His breathing was out of his hand at the moment, though. He was just too afraid to think about the proper ways to calm himself down.

Getting up on a bench, his father sat down on the tabletop and tapped the spot next to him. Hands shaking, Joseph dragged himself up and sat beside him. He shoved his hands between his legs so the shaking wouldn’t be so obvious.

He was avoiding looking at his father by staring down into his lap but Joseph could feel the weight of his gaze on him.

“First off, don’t ever stick yourself in something that doesn’t concern you, understand?” Joseph nodded quickly. “Second, making mayko lie for you is pathetic. Own up to your own shit.” Another nod. “Third, fucking breathe before you turn blue.”

Surprisingly, Joseph actually let out a little laugh. He wasn’t expecting it. “I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “I just wanted to fix you guys. I don’t like seeing you constantly hurting. I know it drives you crazy that you and Venc aren’t like you used to be. I just wanted you to be able to take something off your chest. If I had said something, you would’ve just gotten mad and said no. I thought I’d give it a try.”

Letting out a deep breath, his father replied “Apology accepted and I truly appreciate the effort and also your intentions. I have to admit, your plan is a pretty good one. Even if I didn’t want to forgive Venc, I would just because I’d feel guilty from his fucking bába. Woman knows how to lecture, goddammit.”

Giggling, Joseph said “Yeah, when she told me what she was going to say, I was thinking that we had a really good chance of getting you.”

“Conspiracy against me, brat? Tsk. Conspiracy against Lord Kavinsky? Fucking treason. I should put your ass on trial.” Joseph started laughing which his father caught as he wrapped an arm around him, pulling him close. “You’re a brilliant mastermind, my dear child.” Placing a kiss on Joseph’s head, he murmured “I love you and happy birthday. Double digits now, huh?”

Smiling happily, Joseph said “If I’m excited for anything, its two things. I’m getting closer to driving and the possible growth spurt of puberty.”

Breaking into a bout of laughter, his father snorted “I have been praying for the past three years that you will hit that spurt. I really hope God has been listening.”

“Well, you’ve been praying, mayko, me, dyádo when he was alive… oh and Tétka ‘cause I asked her too. I even enlisted Emilio. I figured that just because we’re different religions, it doesn’t mean his prayers won’t work for me.”

Whistling, his father said “Then we’ve got plenty of prayers stored up, huh? I think I like your chances then.”

Walking back to everyone, his father murmured “Don’t let on to Venc that his stupid ass is forgiven. Let him suffer a bit longer.”

Keeping his face straight because they were in view of everyone, Joseph nodded. He noticed that his mother looked a little worried although if he wasn’t her son he wouldn’t be able to tell. He gave her the ittiest of bittiest smiles to let her know everything was good. She must have got it because relief flashed quickly through her beautiful eyes.

Taking their seats, Joseph asked “So when do I get to open my presents?”

Everyone was silent and then Anka said “You’re not gonna tell us what happened?” She made a face when someone must have kicked her under the table. His guess was Andrey.

His father turned his head to her and said “If you were meant to hear the conversation, we would have sat here. Mind your nosiness.”

Blushing, Anka nodded her head and mumbled “Sorry, tetíncho.”

“Presents?” Joseph asked again.

“Presents go after cake, homie,” Emilio answered with a smile. “We didn’t eat cake yet.”

“Shush,” Joseph replied, putting his hand on Emilio’s mouth to keep him quiet. “Don’t be silly.” Looking to his mother, he smiled “Presents?”

Smiling back, she responded “Presents go after cake, homie.”

Joseph groaned as everyone laughed. Deciding to give it one last try, Joseph looked to his father. “Presents?”

A smile playing on his face, his father said “After cake, friend of ghetto trash.”

Emilio giggled then said “And son.”

“Oooh, burn,” Alicia snickered. “That’s a good one, Emilio!”

Andrey looked annoyed. “Why aren’t you telling him to mind his manners? He just called you trash. If I said that, I woulda got in trouble.”

“If you said that, it wouldn’t have been jokingly,” his father replied while rolling his eyes. “You pick up your father’s garbage and seem to think you can speak with me the way he does.” Annoyance flashed on his tetíncho’s face from the comment.

“Maybe this time it would’ve been a joke, you don’t know.”

“Then if it was, you wouldn’t get in trouble. I’m not your pissy father who thinks everything is wrong; I know what a joke is.”

Looking thoughtful, Andrey asked carefully “So…if I joke with you, you’d laugh and joke back with me?”

Turning to look at Andrey, his father replied “Yeah. I’m not a fucking monster. I’m not going to murder you or something.”

“Oh…so…I can joke with you whenever?”

“Yes.”

A small smile emerged on Andrey’s face but then dropped. “I suck at jokes. I can’t even think of anything.”

Snorting, his father said “Take your time. No rush.”

“So no presents now, huh?” Joseph asked in mild disappointment. “Like for sure? We could always have cake after.”

“Actually,” his father murmured, “I think I’ll give you mine now.”

“Ivo,” his mother muttered as Joseph bounced and shouted in delight.

Waving her off, his father said “You guys can do yours after but mine is extra special and I want to do it now.”

“You guys are doing separate gifts this year?” Joseph asked in surprise.

Standing, his father answered “Technically, yes. We still picked one together but I wanted to add in something extra.” He patted the tabletop in front of him. “C’mere and sit.”

Tilting his head curiously – Joseph noticed that even his mother was confused – Joseph walked to the other side of the bench and jumped up to sit on the table. He straightened so he was sitting directly in front of where his father was standing. Emilio got up and stood beside his own father so he could see better. His mother followed suit except she stood next to Andrey.

“I’m, uh, ready I guess.”

Nodding, his father took out a box from his pocket. It looked like a jewelry box. His mother must have known what it was because she took in a sharp breath. Opening it, his father took out a gold necklace, handing the box to Joseph’s mother.

“This,” he murmured while opening the clasp, “is my father’s necklace.” Joseph felt his eyes go wide; it was rare when his father spoke of dyádo Yosef. Leaning down, his father secured the necklace around Joseph’s neck, letting the cross fall carefully on Joseph’s chest. “And he got it from his own father, who got it from his. So you will be the fifth Kavinsky to own it. Your dyádo would wear it everyday; he never took it off for anything.” Breathing carefully, his father continued “And when he…died…I took it off his body so I could cherish it the way he did.”

Joseph knew from his mother that the day that dyádo Yosef was killed was the day that his father had packed up his bába and chícho and they fled Sofia and eventually Bulgaria. The fact that his father had taken the time to remove his dyádo's necklace even though he was about to be killed was amazing.

Rubbing the cross between his fingers, his father murmured “I never wore it myself. I couldn’t quite bring myself too. But I’ve kept it safe all these years. And I know that you’ll do the same.”

Looking down at the cross, Joseph clasped it tightly in his palm and whispered “I’ll keep it extra safe, I promise.”

Hugging him tight, his father said quietly into Joseph's hair "I've no doubt."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir') 


	81. Chapter 80

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> This chpt and the next are fun I think. We haven't reached the angsty stuff yet. Sorry :)
> 
> Thanks to all my lovely readers and hello to anyone new! Y'all should chat, I love chatting. Enjoy!
> 
> _“I told you he’s that stupid.”_

Raul stared at the man before him. “Are you talking serious or is your brain off today? I know it happens occasionally.” What he heard had to be a joke because it had a fair amount of ridiculousness to it.

Smile upon his stupid face, Ivo replied “I’m talking serious, fucker. Hurry up and let’s go. Time’s a wastin’.”

Rubbing his forehead as he leaned on the front gate of his apartment building, Raul looked blankly at Ivo. “Seriously…”

Practically bouncing in excitement – you’d never guess he was a cruel mobster if you didn’t know beforehand – Ivo laughed “Seriously. We do this every year. Thought you’d like to join us this time. I know your kids will love it. If you’re gonna say no, at least let me take Emilio with us.”

Scratching along his jaw that needed a shave, Raul said “Lemme get this straight. You want me to pack up my wife and kids-”

“Mother too.”

“And mother. Pack them into the lovely car there that you are providing-”

“Aviator.”

Giving Ivo another blank look, Raul muttered “What?”

Shrugging slightly, Ivo mumbled “The car. Aviator. Lincoln. In case you were wondering…whiiich you weren’t…”

Laughing slightly, Raul smiled “Fine. Pack them into the _Aviator_ ,” Ivo rolled his eyes, “And then drive for four hours. Pack my five kids, my wife, and my mother. And sit with them in a car for four hours.”

“No one told you to have so many,” Ivo laughed. “But Emilio rides with me anyways, so you’ll just have four kids. C’mon, it’ll be fun. We’re wasting time here.”

“You realize that it’s already almost eight, right? By the time we get there, it’ll be at least midnight.”

Sighing, Ivo mumbled “Look, either you come or you don’t. We figured that you guys would want to. But like I said, even if you don’t, let me take Emilio with us.”

Mulling over it in his brain, Raul finally muttered “Give me like twenty minutes.” He had nothing to lose anyways.

The whoop that erupted from Ivo’s beaming face was so childish and unmobster like that Raul erupted into laughter. “You know, I’m the younger one here. Also the good guy. I’m supposed to be childish, not you. If everyone knew what Lord Kavinsky was like, I think you’d lose some credibility.”

“Pft, I’m only a year older, get over yourself,” Ivo laughed as he walked to the waiting cars.

  

* * *

 

“Emilio…”

Letting out a small noise and rubbing his face into his pillow, Emilio tried his best to ignore whatever was making noise. He was pretty sure someone was whispering his name but he wasn’t entirely positive. Maybe he was just imagining things.

“Mijo, c’mon or else I’ll leave you behind.”

Okay, he didn’t imagine that. Rubbing his eyes and opening them to the dimness of his room, Emilio blinked up into his father’s face. “Leave me?” Were they going somewhere? That was weird because it was already nighttime.

Emilio had gone to bed early today for two reasons.

One? He had been staying up until ten for the past two weeks and he was exhausted.

Two? The sound of fireworks freaked him out.

Hoboken always had a huge fireworks show over the Hudson for the 4th of July. And while they were beautiful that one time he had bothered seeing them, the noise made him jump quite a lot. Made his heart skip like ten thousand beats too.

“Yup. Unless you get up.”

“Too tired…”

His dad was silent for minute before he murmured “Then I guess Alicia can enjoy Joseph’s company instead of you. Just her and him.”

Emilio flew up in less than a second, glaring at his laughing father. “You’re not funny.”

He didn’t know when his father had figured out that he had a crush on Joseph but Emilio wasn’t surprised. His dad always knew everything even when no one told him. That was because he was such an amazing detective.

Alicia hadn’t known that Emilio had Joseph in his sights. Emilio hadn’t known that _Alicia_ had Joseph in her sights. Joseph was younger than her so Emilio never figured that she’d like him more than just as a friend.

Until she mentioned it. That had definitely not made Emilio happy.

_“…and then Peanut ended up peeing on him,” Emilio laughed as he finished his story._

_Him and Joseph had decided that they wanted to try and bathe Peanut. It seemed that teaching a cat when they’re little was the smarter technique than just going for it when it was already three. To say the least, it hadn’t gone well._

_“That’s gross, Emilio,” Maria disdained. He didn’t appreciate how his sister was changing. She was always ‘too cool’ or ‘too old’ to do anything anymore. Or to just find humor in a story._

_“It’s funny,” he retorted as he shoved a bite of rice in his mouth._

_“I can totally imagine his face when she peed on him,” Alicia giggled. “And his laugh.” A small smile crept on her face. “He has a really cute laugh.”_

_Emilio froze with his cup of juice raised to his lips. Lowering it and narrowing his eyes, he muttered “What.”_

_His stomach pitted when a small blush emerged on her cheeks. Shrugging and looking down at her plate, she murmured “He’s got a cute laugh. His smile is great too.”_

_A laugh erupted from his father who looked to Emilio and smirked, waiting for whatever he could come up with. Face catching fire, Emilio turned to Alicia and blustered “B-But you can’t like him!”_

_Raising her head and with a look of defiance and confusion on her face, Alicia asked “Why not? He’s sweet and totally cute! Literally the two best qualities you can get in a guy. I mean, yeah, he’s a little short but I’m sure he’ll grow. And,” she waved her spoon for emphasis, “if he’s gonna end up like Mr. Kavinsky in looks – which he probably will – he’s going to be totally hot when he gets older. I can’t wait.”_

_Resting his head atop his arms on the table, his father laughed even harder. His mother was smiling but Emilio figured she didn’t catch on to why his father was laughing. Maria was just rolling her eyes, while Linda flicked her gaze between them. Abuela simply continued ignoring them and reading her book; she was used to their rowdiness._

_“You can’t because…” He tried to grasp onto something, “Because he’s younger than you.”_

_“That’s a dumb reason. Papa is younger than mama, stupid. And don’t say shorter either because papa is also shorter than her too.”_

_Good point. “Um…um well you can’t because…” Nothing was coming to mind and it was bugging him._

_A light lit Alicia’s face. “Oh my god you like him, don’t you?”_

_Emilio’s face didn’t just feel like it was on fire, he knew it definitely showed now. Linda looked to their father and asked “That’s why you're laughing? Because you knew, huh?”_

_Lifting his head with his smile still upon it, his dad replied “I never thought I’d have two children pining for Joseph. The boy has charm.”_

_He couldn’t believe his father was making it a joke. This was serious. “Papa, she can’t like him too. That’s not fair.”_

_Alicia was about to say something before their father cut her off. “You can’t tell her who she can like, mijo. She’s allowed to have feelings just like you.”_

_“Then she can feel for someone else.”_

_“Emilio.”_

_Huffing in frustration, Emilio said “She can’t.”_

_“Why?” His mother asked in confusion. “That’s not fair to her, mi amor.”_

_Amazement is what he was feeling that nobody could see it. “Because if she likes him and when he knows, who do you guys think he’d go with? The boy or the girl? The girl! Because she’s a girl and that’s what’s normal. Not me. He wouldn’t even think twice about it. If it was just me then MAYBE he’d at least consider that I was worth the trouble it is for boys to like each other.”_

Since then, Emilio made sure that Alicia and Joseph weren’t alone if he could help it. His father had come to him while he was getting ready for bed and tried to make him feel better. It kind of helped how bad he was feeling that he might miss out on the most amazing boy ever because of his stupid sister.

But it was still a sore spot. And only his father got away with joking about it.

“Where are we all going?” Emilio asked once he had washed up and joined everyone in the living room.

“Pennsylvania!” Alicia jumped in delight.

“Neighbors, mija,” his mom reminded as she put Alondra in her car seat. They always had to step lightly because of their neighbor under them.

Scrunching his nose, Emilio mumbled “Pennsylvania?”

Linda also looked really excited. “Mr. Kavinsky invited us to go do fireworks with them! Actually light fireworks, Emilio. We’ve never gotten to do that.”

Emilio felt his stomach bubble a little at the mention of fireworks. His grandma looked to Emilio’s dad. “I thought they’re illegal in Pennsylvania like here and Connecticut?”

“Uh, they are,” he laughed.

“Whoa… we get to break the law?” Alicia said in amazement that both Emilio and Linda were feeling.

Laughing, their dad smiled “Yes. But just this once. It’s a four hour drive though so sleep on the way so you won’t be tired by the time we get there.”

“Our car doesn’t fit, Raul,” his mom noted.

“Ivo’s giving me one to use; Vesela drove it over. Emilio will go with them and Yulian and Nikol are going to leave once we do. Seems it’s a yearly tradition of theirs.”

“So we’re going to go break the law four hours away in another state and call it a night?” Maria asked in boredom. “Do I have to go? Sounds boring.”

“Yes, you have to go. And I say it sounds like fun.” Turning to them from where Emilio was pretty sure he was sneaking a chocolate in his mouth, his dad asked “We all ready?”

 

Walking out of their building, Emilio stopped in place at what he saw. It wasn’t that it was gross or weird, he just wasn’t used to seeing people making out in front of him.

“Really?” His father said as he walked out behind Emilio. “It’s the middle of the street, for god’s sake.”

Mrs. Kavinsky shoved her husband away from where they were leaned up against the car. Emilio felt like she was embarrassed but it was too dark to tell. Mr. Kavinsky, of course, just laughed and stole one last kiss. “No one’s here.”

Putting Alondra in the car, his dad said “Joseph’s in the car.”

“Joseph’s in the other car and asleep. For that matter, he’s not going to die if he sees me kissing my stunning wife who’s his mother.”

Giving Mr. Kavinsky a quick once-over, his dad murmured “Can you drive with that?”

Emilio didn’t get the joke but obviously Joseph’s parents did because Mr. Kavinsky fell into laughter and Mrs. Kavinsky shook her head as she walked over to Emilio’s mother, a smile on her face.

 _“_ Joseph’s in the car?” Emilio asked.

Looking to him, Mr. Kavinsky nodded and said “Go ahead, we’ll be right there.”

Walking over to the suv, Emilio opened the back door and got in, shutting it behind himself. Joseph was taking up both the window and middle seat and had his head pillowed on someone’s sweater. He was sleeping soundly and softly.

Putting on his seatbelt, Emilio figured he might as well sleep like his dad had suggested. Resting his head on Joseph’s leg and curling himself up, he closed his eyes and waited for sleep to take him.

* * *

 

Slowly blinking his eyes open, Joseph quickly shut them when his stomach churned nastily. Coming off his medicine meant he didn’t throw up as much as he used to but sometimes it still happened. He’d gotten good at relaxing his stomach, though, so generally he was able to stop it.

He tried stretching when he realized his legs felt heavy. Eyes opening to slits, he looked down at his friend resting atop his legs. A smile erupted on his face; he had been a little worried that Mr. Vidal might not want to come.

His mother must have heard his moving because she turned around from where she was sitting up front and smiled at him. “Hey, you. Good sleep?”

Joseph nodded but asked “Crackers?”

“Oh God, don’t throw up in the car,” his father grumbled from the driver’s seat.

“I’m not, just a little bit queasy.”

His gaze flicked down to Emilio when he felt the weight lift off him. Stretching, Emilio smiled to Joseph while still blinking the sleep out of his eyes. “Hiya, Joseph.”

“You sure it’s not ‘Wattup, homeboy’ or something stupid like that,” his father mumbled.

Taking the offered saltine crackers from his mother – whenever they went anywhere they took them now, just in case – Joseph smiled from the laugh that came from Emilio. It had such a nice tone to it.

“No, Mr. Kavinsky, just hiya.” He stretched again and asked “We almost there?”

“About another fifteen minutes,” his mother answered. “We’re in Pennsylvania, we’re just driving to our spot.”

“Spot?”

Finishing his handful of crackers, Joseph stretched and yawned “It’s this clearing place on the side of a road. No trees and stuff, so no accidents.”

When they finally reached their destination, Joseph and Emilio both jumped out and stretched their sleepy muscles. Tetíncho and Mr. Vidal both pulled in a few minutes later and parked.

Getting out of the cars, Mr. Vidal asked “Can I assume a place like this was found for certain purposes? Illegal purposes?”

“Beside fireworks?” Tetíncho laughed as he helped Joseph’s heavily pregnant Tétka out of the car.

“Very much besides fireworks.”

“Do you really need an answer for that?”

Shaking his head as he walked over to Joseph’s father who was opening the trunk of the Land Rover, he answered “No, I suppose not.”

Sitting themselves up in the trunk, Joseph watched Emilio’s face as he saw the variety of fireworks. “Where did you even buy all of these?”

“Around,” Joseph’s father answered. “Awesome, right?”

Joseph was surprised when Emilio didn’t immediately answer but instead looked nervous. Embarrassment filled his friends face as he murmured “I’m actually scared of fireworks. They’re too loud.”

His father’s hands froze from where they were unpacking stuff. Looking to Emilio, he asked “Did you just say that you’re afraid?”

Emilio nodded while fiddling with his hands. “I don’t like them.”

“When you get to do them yourself and realize how fun they are, you’ll think differently,” Mr. Vidal said as he examined the stuff in the trunk. “Don’t worry about it, Emilio. I promise you’ll enjoy it.” His gaze caught on red metal, “You brought a fire extinguisher?”

Shrugging as he picked out one of the larger fireworks, his father replied “Just in case. I prefer to have all my angles covered. We’ve never had anything happen but you never know.”

“I’m not judging; I’m impressed that you’re not that stupid.”

Throwing a glare at him, Joseph’s father picked out some more and walked off a bit, settling them on the floor. “Yulian, did you bri-”

“He’s that stupid,” Tetíncho said as he passed, carrying the large board they put under the fireworks. “You’ll see.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')


	82. Chapter 81

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> Nothing to say. School finishes in around two weeks which is cool. I'm exhausted. Good luck to anyone who has finals coming up!  
> Enjoy some fireworks and I'll see you guys Thursday!
> 
> _Awesome, right?_

His mother and Mrs. Vidal set up some chairs and a couple blankets on the dirt floor. His Tétka looked exhausted already but she had a smile on her face as she sat in one of the chairs. Linda was helping the mothers while Maria just plopped on a blanket looking incredibly bored.

Alicia came bouncing over to them, a huge smile on her face. “Hey, Joseph!”

Smiling back, he said “Hey. Are you gonna be boring like Maria when you get older?”

Laughing, she answered “No way. I’m gonna be the funnest ever.” Looking to Emilio sitting beside Joseph, she asked in concern “You’ll be alright?”

Brushing his hair out of his face, Emilio mumbled “I’ll be fine.”

Nudging Emilio with his shoulder, Joseph said “They’re not that bad. It’s a lot of fun, I promise.”

“Do you get to light them?” Alicia asked as she scooted into the trunk next to him. He tried to budge to make her some more room but between the three of them and the trunk load of fireworks, there was no more room. She didn’t seem bothered though; she just scooted closer to him.

“Not actually light any, no. I’ve done the poppers and the snapping ones. The sparklers too but someone has to light it first. I’m not allowed to touch the matches or lighters. But fireworks are totally awesome to watch.”

“The snapping ones are cool,” Emilio said in hope. “I’d like to do those.”

Their heads turned as someone whistled. His father was standing by the board and one of the big air fireworks was set in the middle of it. “Joseph, c’mere.”

His stomach churned in both surprise and worry. But he was actually a little excited too. He didn’t mind not ever lighting them yet; he didn’t know that his father planned on changing that.

“No way in fucking hell, Ivo,” his mother stood abruptly. Apparently, she had no intention on changing that.

Ignoring her, his father gestured to him. “C’mon.”

“Hello, I’m talking.”

Tetíncho looked to Mr. Vidal and said “I told you he’s that stupid.”

Mr. Vidal expressed his worry. “I really don’t think he should be lighting any, Ivo.”

“He’s ten, he’ll be fine.” His father was starting to sound annoyed. “C’mon, Joseph.”

Sliding out of the trunk after having to kind of climb over Alicia, Joseph walked over to his father.

His mother huffed in anger and worry. Turning around, she put her hands on her eyes. “I can’t look. I swear to God, Ivo, if something happens to my baby, I’ll burn your fucking dick off.”

Covering himself, his father muttered “Fucking sick, Vesela. Let’s just ignore the fact that he happens to be my baby too.”

“Whatever. I warned you.”

Rolling his eyes, he turned to Joseph. “Ready?”

“Uh…sure…” His nerves bubbled as he bit his lip in the worry he was feeling.

A pair of goggles were placed on his face. “Those don’t come off unless you’re over there with everyone else. Got it?”

Joseph nodded and asked “How come you don’t wear any?”

“Because I’m stupid.”

Placing him about a foot away from the firework, his father crouched beside Joseph and showed him a fancy looking lighter. “I’ll hold with you. Only stretch out your arm, that way if you lose anything, it’s just an arm.”

“Well, gee, that’s not worrying,” he muttered.

Knocking his head on Joseph’s, his father continued “Push this button, flame comes out. So, stretch to the fuse, push the button, light the bastard up. Easy peasy, right?”

Burying his worry, Joseph nodded. “Easy peasy, lemon squeezy.”

Taking the lighter in hand, Joseph rested his finger on the button and his father laid his hand atop Joseph’s. “Ready?”

Nodding, he took a deep breath and they stretched their arms out. Once the tip of the lighter met with the fuse, Joseph pushed the button. When the fuse lit, they pulled their arms back and his father quickly yanked him back and up in his arms, rushing back a couple feet.

A few seconds later there was crack and the firework shot into the air, exploding with a boom and colors high in the sky. His father whistled while Joseph laughed to the whoops of delight coming from behind them.

He was put back down on the floor and turned to crowd as his father went to set up another one. “Did you see, mayko?” Joseph shouted in excitement to her.

She must have turned back around earlier because she was peeking through the spaces between her fingers. His mother asked “All parts and pieces?” He trotted over and showed her his hands and arms. She examined each carefully and then grudgingly said “It was beautiful.”

“Emilio!” his father called from where he was standing. “You’re up!”

Shaking his head vehemently from where he was in the trunk, Emilio said “No way!”

“Me, tetíncho!” Andrey jumped up. “Please!” Waving him over, Andrey went running in excitement.

“Wait a minute,” Tetíncho Yulian said.

Mr. Vidal grabbed Tetíncho’s arm and said “Leave him be.”

“Seriously? Ivo’s been really polluting your mind lately.”

It was dark but Joseph was more than certain that Mr. Vidal rolled his eyes. “If Joseph can do it, Andrey can. Ivo won’t let anything happen.”

A minute later, a firework shot into the air with Andrey raising a fist in his success. His father was holding him like he had held Joseph although because Andrey was bigger, it seemed a little more uncomfortable.

Walking over to Emilio as more fireworks were set off, he climbed into the trunk by his friend who was looking a bit miserable. They sat in silence as they watched Alicia shriek as she lit one. Linda lit a fountain and Mr. Vidal a rocket.

“It’s really fun, I promise.”

Emilio turned to Joseph and said “I know but it doesn’t make me any less scared. I feel really stupid right now.”

“You’re stupid for saying that. You’re allowed to be scared. But just give it a shot. Do one with your dad like I did.”

Shaking his head, Emilio sighed and turned back to watch the show.

More fireworks continued to be shot off. After sparklers and some poppers – which Emilio enjoyed with them – they were almost out of their stash. They eventually had joined everyone at the blankets and chairs. The snacks were awesome and the drinks refreshing. Although it was past two in the morning, no one besides Alondra was tired. Maria had been convinced to light a couple fireworks and now had a smile on her face. Even abuela Vidal had done one.

They were watching as his father crouched down to light another. Lighting it, he quickly retreated and they all waited for the crack but nothing happened.

“First dud in a couple years, I guess,” his tetíncho called out. “We’ve got a good track record, actually.”

“Bummer,” his father called back. “I wanted to see this one.” Joseph always found it odd when they were actually civil with each other. It was so unnatural.

He walked back to the firework and made to pour water from a jug he had beside him on it. As he tilted his hand to pour there was a sudden bang and the explosive went off. His father jumped back while clutching his hand to his stomach tight, dropping the jug.

“Fuck, fuck, FUCK!”

Joseph stomach dropped to unimaginable depths. He knew that his mother’s stomach did too. His father was the type who took pain quietly. It must be bad if he actually cried out.

His father retreated more once more pops went off, sending huge clusters of sparks around him. Tetíncho and Mr. Vidal made to go to him but he waved them off. Waiting until he was sure that there were no more explosions, his father walked back – hand still clutched to his stomach – and doused out the firework quickly.

Walking over to them, his father tried to laugh off his pain. “And that’s why you wear gloves.”

“Just shut up and let me see,” his mother said, her voice filled with worry and on the edge of panic. “Gimme the light, Linda.”

Mrs. Vidal grabbed the light herself and sat down on the blanket. She patted the space in front of her and looked to Joseph’s father. “Sit.”

Plopping himself down, his father joked “And why I brought a nurse.”

Moving and sitting beside him, his mother murmured “Ivo stop making jokes, please.” She let out a gasp when she saw his hand, “Oh my God.”

Murmuring quietly in Bulgarian so only the people super close could hear, his father said “I make jokes because there are kids who don’t need to panic.” His eyes flicked to Joseph and he said in English “No panicking, brat. I’m fine.”

“Fine is the hugest understatement ever,” Alicia said as she stared at his hand. “That looks super bad, Mr. Kavinsky.” Joseph was impressed that she wasn’t grossed out or anything. Linda was practically pale.

“Nah, no biggie this.” But Joseph could tell from his father’s face that he was hurting. A lot.

Looking at his father’s hand, Joseph’s stomach churned. It was red and parts of it were bubbled nastily and blistered. There were burns on his arms too where the second round of sparks must have hit; luckily, they weren’t as bad as his hand. Mrs. Vidal was carefully pouring cold water on his hand from the bottles they had. “Tatko, that’s a biggie.”

“Joseph, I’ve been shot. This is nothing.”

“Just because you’ve had worse doesn’t mean this isn’t something. You’re not a liar, stop lying.”

His father went silent and looked back down at his hand which was shaking in Mrs. Vidal’s light grip. They watched in silence as she worked. Once she finished very carefully wrapping his hand, Joseph asked “Do you always go out with a first aid kit?”

Smiling, Emilio’s mom replied “No, but illegal fireworks with a mobster seemed like a prime time to bring it.”

“Very funny,” his father muttered as he set his hand in his lap. “Do you need to check the others? They’re not bad so I don’t think so.”

“I don’t trust your medical opinion,” she sighed as she took his arm back and started looking at the others. “They’re okay but I’m gonna put some cream on them. I don’t want to put on your hand until there’s no chance of your blisters popping.”

After treatment was finished, his father looked to Emilio. “I’ve one firework left and it has your name on it.”

Emilio jerked his head in surprise and disbelief. “After I saw you almost blast your hand off? No way, Mr. Kavinsky.”

“That’s a lame excuse. If you fall of the bike, you get back up.”

Raising his eyebrows, Emilio informed “This is not a bike. And you have second degree burns from your ‘bike.’”

“Aye, nieto, go light one,” abuela Vidal cut in. She looked to Mr. Vidal, “Take him and light the last one.”

“I’m not going to force him, mama.”

Poking Emilio with her toe, abuela Vidal repeated “Go light one.”

Frustration filtered on Emilio’s face. “I don’t want to. Kids aren’t supposed to anyways.”

“Fight your fear, Emilio,” Maria said. “Kick it in the ass.”

“Language,” Mrs. Vidal hissed. “Since when do words like that come out from your mouth?” Maria just shrugged and rolled her eyes.

“Attitude much,” his father muttered. “Thank God I don’t have a girl.”

They looked to Alicia when she suddenly yelped. “Emilio elbowed me,” she complained.

“Because you deserved it. What you said deserves for you to be elbowed.”

“Well then do something about it.”

Joseph couldn’t help but wonder what Alicia had whispered to her brother. It had to be something major because Emilio looked incredibly annoyed. Kind of mad too. _Weird…_

Huffing and throwing his hands in the air, Emilio turned to Mr. Vidal and said “Let’s light the stupid firework, papa.”

Mr. Vidal looked taken aback about Emilio’s sudden change of heart and looked between his two kids. Suddenly a smile emerged and he started laughing. It was a little difficult to tell in the dark but Joseph thought Emilio was blushing. _What is there to blush about?_

“After you, mijo,” Mr. Vidal said once his laughs subsided. They walked over to the board to light the last firework.

Mrs. Vidal turned to Alicia, “What did you say?”

Smiling, she scooted to her mother and whispered in her ear. Joseph couldn’t catch anything but then Mrs. Vidal also started to laugh while shaking her head.

Joseph’s father looked between them and said “Do we not get to know?”

“Family blackmail stuff, Mr. Kavinsky,” Alicia replied. “Well not so much blackmail as I gave him a really good incentive. Personal stuff.”

“Uhuh…” Joseph was just as curious as his father on what Alicia had said.

They all looked over to Mr. Vidal and Emilio when Mr. Vidal whistled. “Pay attention.”

“Go, Emilio!” Anka shouted.

Watching as they lit and retreated, everyone whooped in joy as the last firework shot up and exploded into beautiful colors. Emilio face was lit with a huge smile.

The fourth of July – well now the morning of the fifth – was definitely Joseph’s favorite time of the year.

And always would be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')


	83. Chapter 82

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> I had a heart attack yesterday because I accidently deleted the entire story from my drive. Around 500 pages and almost 200,000 words...yeah those were a horrible five minutes until I was able to restore it. Word is also being a pain because sometimes it refuses to open the doc. I think it's telling me it's too big lol  
> Anyways yeah that was my yesterday. How was yours?
> 
> So where are we right now? Nov 2005 in case ppl need help keeping up with the timeline. Also there is a Venc and Daniel snapshot in the making, requested by Hatty. Don't forget you guys can request pretty much anything at all.
> 
> And...yup...that's what I've got for today. This chpt has 2888 words. Kinda cool number I think. Enjoy today's chpt and always remember that you're never too old to play video games. 
> 
> _“Grab a box, shortstuff.”_

He swung his feet back and forth as he lay on his stomach upon his bed with Peanut on his back. His science homework was driving him insane; no matter how many times he read the chapter, Joseph couldn’t find the answer for the question. Huffing, he smooshed his face into the textbook and groaned, deciding that he’ll just wait until his mother came home so she could help him.

Surprise struck him when he heard the garage opening. She had barely left maybe a half hour ago not to be back already. Joseph expected her to be gone for at least a couple hours. He tried to ignore why he thought she went out though. It was better if he didn’t think about it too hard.

Shrugging off Peanut, Joseph rolled off his bed and trotted downstairs. In through the connecting door walked his father, a couple of bags in hand.

“Hey, tatko. You’re home?”

A smile eclipsed his father’s face upon seeing Joseph. “Uh, me and Venc decided to take the day off,” he laughed. Venc walked in a second later and waved. Joseph couldn’t be happier that they were okay now.

“Can you just take the day off?”

“I put your tetíncho in charge.”

Flicking his eyes to the bags, he asked “And went shopping instead?”

Laughing as he walked to their downstairs guest room, his father replied with enthusiasm “Yes! Totally awesome, I know.” He placed the bags on the floor and stood, examining the room. When Venc walked in with his own share of bags, his father said “We can take the mirror off the dresser and just use that?”

“That’d work best probably,” Venc trailed, also examining the room.

Joseph was obviously missing something here so he asked “Best for?”

Turning to Joseph with his smile still there, his father crouched down and pulled out a box from one of the bags. “Tadaa!” He looked ready to burst with excitement.

Staring at the box before him, Joseph said in awe “You bought an Xbox?”

“I bought a fucking Xbox. 360, my dear child. The new one that came out last week. I had preordered it when they first announced it months ago; I just haven’t had a chance to go get it. I’ve been wanting one since the first one came out but never got around to it.”

“Can I open it?” Joseph bounced in his own share of excitement.

“Go for it,” his father called behind himself as he walked out. “I’ll be right back.”

Ripping off the tape and opening the box, Joseph carefully pulled out the console. “You guys bought games, right? Controllers? More than one, hopefully.”

Venc stuck his hands in another bag and pulled out the controllers. “Four, actually. And we got…” he trailed off as he started pulling out games, one at a time, “Call of duty 2, Need for Speed: Most Wanted, and FIFA. Oh, we also got Forza. It’s for the first Xbox but it looked totally awesome. Let’s be real, any racing game is awesome.”

He grabbed the games and examined each one. His mother probably wouldn’t let him play Black Ops; he’d just have to play with his father when she wasn’t home. Joseph looked up when his father walked in.

Carrying a flat screen tv. Someone was really dying for a shopping day.

Sliding it carefully onto the floor, he looked to Joseph who was still holding the games. “Awesome, right?”

“The games or the tv? Because they both are.” He always wondered why they didn’t have a tv in their house like his Tétka. Joseph had always been a little jealous of Andrey and Anka because of that. He didn’t watch things except sometimes on his father’s laptop.

“I know,” his father laughed. He took off his suit jacket and rolled up the sleeves of his button up. Taking the mirror off the dresser, he placed it on the floor, leaning it against the wall. Venc had already opened the tv and was carefully pulling it out. They lifted it and set on the dresser, admiring the 42 inches of amazingness.

“I like,” Venc laughed.

“Totally.” Looking to Joseph, his father asked “Where’s mayko?”

Keeping a straight face and making sure that he was as steady as possible, he answered “She went out.”

“Obviously. Where’d she go?”

“Just out,” Joseph shrugged.

His father examined him under his scrutinous gaze. “Just out?”

“Yeah, said she just felt like getting some air. She told me to come with her but I wanted to finish my homework.” She hadn’t but Joseph felt like it was a good lie to add in.

_She stood in his doorway and smiled. “I’m going out for a bit. Come lock up.”_

_Looking up from his homework, Joseph asked “Where you going?”_

_“Just out,” she shrugged while fiddling with her new bracelet. It was petite and demure; gold links with little gems of green between each._

_Green to match her eyes, of course._

_Thing was, Joseph’s father hadn’t bought it for her._

_And he was convinced that she hadn’t bought it either._

_He didn’t know what this possible other guy gave his mother that his father didn’t but Joseph prayed she’d wake up before his father ever caught on. Bruises and tears were not something he ever wanted to see on her again._

_“Can I come with?” He knew she’d say no but he wanted to see what excuse she’d give._

_“Nah, you’d get bored. Lady stuff and shopping and…stuff. You’ll have more fun at home. Plus, you gotta finish your homework.”_

“Okay, I guess,” his father murmured while still examining. After a couple more minutes, he sighed and looked back to his haul. “Let’s set the bastard up?”

  

* * *

 

Walking into the house, Vesela tried to push down her worry about Ivo being home. She wasn’t sure how long he had been here or why he was already home but she did her best to settle the fear that rose in her when she had found his car in the garage. Hopefully whatever Joseph had told him was enough.

She heard a cheer and then “I kicked your fucking ass!”

Following the voices to the guest room with Joseph’s milkshake in hand, Vesela stood in the doorway and stared in surprise. There was Ivo, Joseph, and Venc sitting on the bed facing a tv that she knew they didn’t have this morning. For that matter, they didn’t have the game console and all the goodies that go with it either.

And Joseph didn’t have that stuffed animal either.

Joseph saw her first and smiled, raising up his stuffed wolf. “Look! Do you like?”

Ivo and Venc flicked her glances but focused back on the game. They each gave her a quick hello, at least. Walking over, she sat down beside Joseph and traded the milkshake for the wolf. “He’s adorable. Got a name?”

“Actually, it’s a she and she’s an alpha because she’s super tough,” Joseph corrected while rubbing the plush’s ears. “Her name is Raine, with an ‘e.’” He took a slurp of his milkshake.

“Hello, Raine with an ‘e.’ Welcome to the family. And where was Raine with an ‘e’ acquired?”

Smiling as he took his animal back, Joseph answered “Tatko bought me her from the store when he went to get his Xbox.”

“When he went to get his Xbox… A little old to go buy an Xbox, Ivo?”

“Never too old to enjoy a video game, Ms. Addicted to Mario.”

Laughing, she replied “Okay you got me there. But seriously? Did you actually leave work for this?”

Finishing his race, Ivo looked to her and said “Yes. Yes, I did. It’s definitely worth it.” He held out each hand like a scale. Raising one, he said “Xbox and home,” he lowered the other, “Crusty old men and Yulian. Definitely worth it.” Offering her the controller, he asked “Do you want to try?”

“Maybe later,” Vesela said as she stretched out on the bed beside Joseph. “Did you get a turn yet, baby? Or are the nasty grown men being hoggers?”

His beautiful face lit into a laugh as he put his shake on the floor and laid down, curling into her. “I played the other racing one. This one is too hard.”

“Fuck!” Venc exclaimed in frustration at losing yet another race. “I almost had that one.”

“Loo-ser,” Ivo laughed, his face highlighted with glee. Her heart jumped from his sexy laugh and skipped a few more beats from his smile. She loved him and had since they first met. Technically, she had just been a silly little thirteen year-old with a crush but it was still love.

When had it changed? She loved him with all her heart but for some reason, sometimes things just felt…empty. Like it was love but then it wasn’t enough. She was unfulfilled or unsatisfied. Which was something she just didn’t understand because Ivo gave her everything. No matter what she’d ask for, he’d find a way to get it or do it. He always aimed to put a smile on her face. Every morning, the first thing he’d say to her was how much he loved her.

So what was missing?

Vesela just didn’t know.

Sighing, she kissed Joseph who gave her a big smile. He must have remembered something because he suddenly sat up and jumped off the bed, narrowly missing the shake. “Be right back!”

Holding Raine in her hands, she admired the adorable thing. “Good pick, Ivo.”

“No, duh,” he replied as he put in a different game. “I’ve got excellent stuffed animal taste. Actually, I’ve got excellent taste in everything.”

She rolled her eyes as Venc laughed. Joseph came bouncing back in with his homework. “I need help. I can’t figure out the answer for a question.”

“For?”

“Science,” her little boy answered as he climbed up on the bed. “I read the chapter like fifty times but I can’t figure it out.”

“Vesela,” Ivo drawled sweetly as he came and leaned over her, leaving barely a millimeter between their lips. “Any chance I might get fed? My stomach is crying in utter distress.”

Her heart fluttered in excitement from how close they were. Stealing a kiss from his amazing mouth, she murmured “I might be convinced.”

“Whoa, people,” Venc muttered. “We’re sitting, you know.”

Rolling his eyes, Ivo whispered “We can take it upstairs?”

“Homework takes precedent over your boner, tatko,” Joseph interrupted.

Ivo rested his forehead on hers and started laughing. Her face had gone horribly red; she could practically feel the heat radiating off of it.

Straightening and sitting on the edge of the bed, Ivo asked “Child, why do you know what a boner is? I mean, Jesus, I’m not Yulian but there happens to be a line.”

Her child just shrugged and said “From Alicia.”

Vesela sat up and stared at Joseph. “Why are you talking about sex with Alicia?”

“She already took the class and me and Emilio were curious. We were gonna ask Maria but she’s weird nowadays so we went with the next sister.”

“Me and Emilio were curious…” she trailed off. She honestly didn’t even know what to say. Her ten year old asking about sex didn’t really sit well with her. Surprisingly, it didn’t look like it sat well with Ivo either. Venc was just silently laughing as he set up the game.

“Okay well next time you and Emilio get curious, talk to me or Raul. Don’t go to Alicia,” her husband said.

Tilting his head, Joseph asked tentatively “Am I…in…trouble?”

“No. Just next time, ask me. Got it?”

Nodding with relief, Joseph opened up his work so they could figure out the answer.

  

* * *

 

Ivo was laying on his bed, waiting for Vesela to get out of the bathroom. They hadn’t had sex in like a month and he was on the verge of dying right about now. Turning his head, his eyes caught on the bracelet on her nightstand. He bit his lip as he stared at it.

Stretching over, he grabbed the bracelet and examined it closely. It was beautiful and the green matched her perfectly. He didn’t know she wanted anything new, though. Ivo would have bought her something instead of her having to pick it out for herself. Being that he was the husband, he should be doing these things for her.

Ivo could tell that the gems were real; the gold too. Expensive, then. But there were no big payments on their accounts. Cash maybe?

Or she didn’t buy it.

His stomach pitted low with this thought. She wouldn’t do it to him twice, would she? Vesela had said that at the time he wasn’t giving her enough attention and that’s why she cheated. She wanted to have the feeling of being loved and important and precious. He had come to the conclusion that it was his fault that she had cheated. If he had given her all his time instead of just some of it, she wouldn’t have gone looking for someone else to provide the rest.

He always thought that he gave her enough but he had taken her words to heart and now focused as much as attention as he could on her. Trying his best, Ivo gave everything he could and more. He tried to give her as much as time as he could and made sure that she felt extra special. Hell, he’d call at least five times a day just so she knew that he was always thinking about her. If he couldn’t manage phone calls because he was busy, he’d just text.

So why would she do it again? She had no reason to. Which meant that his brain was just being stupid and putting idiotic worries in his mind. There was no way Vesela was cheating again. Just no way.

But then where had she gone today? ‘Just out’ seemed odd.

Shaking his head to clear his paranoid thoughts, Ivo placed the bracelet back where it was. He was being ridiculous; she bought the bracelet probably while she was out shopping. It had caught her eye is all. Green and pink were her favorite colors. It made sense that she’d want the bracelet.

His eyes flicked to the door when there was a knock. _Please no nightmares…_ That meant no loving today either. “Come in, brat.”

Joseph opened and stuck his head in, clutching not two but _three_ stuffed animals. Ivo wondered if he bought another for Joseph if he would start carrying four.

_“Ivo?” Yulian asked as they sat in the meeting room. They had just concluded with the advisors and were finishing up the last of some paperwork. Venc had a date with Johanna, so Ivo sent him on his way. Appearing like they knew nothing was their current tactic._

_“Hmm…” He made a note on a post it to talk to Petar about the upcoming shipment. Post its and phone reminders were the only thing that kept his mind on track anymore. His memory was incredibly shitty nowadays._

_“This is kind of out of nowhere-”_

_“Jesus fuck, help me,” he muttered._

_“You don’t find it weird that Joseph is so attached to his stuffed animals? He’s kind of old, don’t you think? It was ridiculous that he refused to sleep without them when he slept over last week. The night light, I understand although he should be out of that too.”_

_Raising his head to glare at the idiot sitting to his right, he said “You’re judging my child because he likes stuffed animals?”_

_“I’m judging that he’s ten and can’t sleep without them. He’s not okay, Ivo. Hell, Anka hasn’t slept with hers in a couple years. Not to mention that he still sleeps with you guys.”_

_Putting down his pen and relaxing into his chair, Ivo stared at his brother-in-law. “You have a problem with Joseph because he sleeps with stuffed animals and his parents. That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. And I’ve heard a lot.”_

_Rolling his eyes, Yulian muttered “I’m just saying that he should’ve grown out of it by now. It doesn’t bother you?”_

_“Should it? If he is able to find sleep when he has his comfort in his arms, I’m sure as hell not going to stop him. He’s a little boy for Christ’s sake. Now if he’s sixteen and still clutching them tight, then you can come judge.”_

“Can I sleep with you guys?” Joseph asked in hope.

Sighing in disappointment, Ivo mumbled “Come on up.”

Bouncing in delight, Joseph came all the way in and walked over, getting up once he reached the bed. He stuffed himself under the covers and squished up beside Ivo. Rubbing his face into Ivo’s arm, Joseph murmured “I love you lots and lots.”

He couldn’t help the smile that grew on his face. His brat loved him. It made his heart feel amazing; he wasn’t the horrible father anymore. He was the one that Joseph enjoyed spending time with. The one who shared laughs and jokes with his son. The one that his child wasn’t so fearful of anymore.

Sounded like some damn good progress.

Pressing a kiss into Joseph’s hair, Ivo whispered “I love you too. Lots and lots.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')


	84. Chapter 83

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> It's crunch time of the school year. Final projects and tests are on the horizon and I feel like there isn't enough time in this world.
> 
> So the Venc/Daniel snapshot was supposed to be posted today but then I didn't get a chance to finish it...Sorry. End of the semester is hectic. But for sure Thursday  
> Enjoy today's chapter! It ended up pretty big. 3,200 or something.  
> There's dogs! And Venc! And even Daniel! Wow, star studded. If only Emilio were here too...
> 
> _“Fashionably late is not as cool as it sounds, you know.”_

“Tatko, I’m too short.”

Smirking and shaking his head, his father huffed a laugh and pointed to their left. “Grab a box, shortstuff.”

“Haha, you’re sooo funny,” Joseph muttered as he walked and grabbed a wooden crate. As he trotted back, Joseph jabbed his father in the side.

A really really nice jab.

Joseph laughed when his father made a weird choking sound while clutching his side. “Don’t make fun of me, meanie.”

Knocking Joseph’s head with his fist, his father muttered “Venc is right. You’re turning nasty.”

“I’m turning into you,” Joseph supplied as he set the box on the floor and stepped up to look at the engine.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.”

They were in his father’s warehouse. The one with the millions of dollars worth of cars in it. The distinction was important because he had come to discover that his father had lots of warehouses in the city. Some housed thousands of dollars of weapons – guns mostly – or drugs or other mobster stuff. How Joseph found out all of this?

Was unimportant. What was important was that he had survived the making of the discovery without any consequences.

Because no one knew.

And never would.

The weapons he had expected; that was normal for a mobster. Joseph saw his father’s gun all the time – he never went anywhere without it hidden in the back of his waistband. That was why he almost always wore jackets. If it wasn’t on his person – meaning no jacket either – it was in his car. His father carried a knife too. That was always on him no matter what.

The drugs, on the other hand, were not something he was expecting. He didn’t expect it of his father or his grandfather, for that matter. His grandfather had started the mob in the first place; along with Nikolai but Joseph didn’t mind discrediting him.

With the thought of drug warehouses in mind, Joseph went to go talk to his father about it.

In a disguised spy way where his father wouldn’t know that Joseph knew.

_Knocking on the door of his father’s office, Joseph waited to be invited in. When he was, he walked in and leaned on his father who was sitting in his chair on the phone._

_Once the phone call was finished, his father turned his head to Joseph and kissed his temple. “What’s up?”_

_“Um…” his nerves were starting to get the better of him. Hopefully this would go okay. “I’ve got a question.”_

_Stretching and slouching into his nice leather chair, his father yawned “Shoot.”_

_Biting his lip, Joseph murmured “What do you think about drugs?”_

_His eyebrows scrunched with confusion and a little bit of surprise from Joseph’s question. Straightening, his father asked “Drugs?”_

_“Yeah.”_

_“Well, I’d never in a thousand lifetimes do any. I smoked weed once but that doesn’t really count. Drugs impair judgement and they ruin lives. But I know for some people they feel like they need them to continue on even when they don’t want to.” Examining Joseph carefully, he threated “If you ever do drugs or I find out that you’re doing them behind my back, I will beat the shit out of you.”_

_Joseph just rolled his eyes to the threat. He wasn’t afraid of his father’s words because he knew that he’d never ever use drugs. Why would he? He wasn’t stupid. “Don’t be silly, tatko. I’d never use.”_

_His father sighed and muttered “Good to know.”_

_“Does weed count?” Maybe he’d try that but he wouldn’t know until he reached that point._

_Slouching once more, his father said “Maybe not. But if you ever want to try, talk to me first.”_

_Nodding, Joseph replied “Okay.”_

_Dragging Joseph into his lap – he was proud to say that he was actually getting a little big for laps – his father asked “What’s with the questions?”_

_Placing his head on his shoulder, Joseph picked his next words carefully. “Um, so I was at the library-”_

_“See an addict?” His father interrupted._

_Shaking his head, he answered “No. Actually… I was looking at books about mafias and stuff and-”_

_“Books about mafias?” His father interrupted once more. “The agreement when you go to the library alone is that you stick to the children’s section. That’s the deal. I need to trust that when you are by yourself, you are not reading anything that isn’t appropriate for your age.”_

_“I know but I was walking in and they had them on the shelf in front of the door. And…it looked interesting. Also it technically has to do with my family…” Joseph was getting so good at lying. Andrey would be proud._

_His father stared at him for a few minutes then sighed “Fair enough. Next time, stick to your section, got it?”_

_He nodded his agreement and said “Anyways, so I was flipping through and stuff and they said that some mafias use different things to make money. One of them was drugs. Do you do that?” He already knew the answer but he wanted to see what his father would say._

_Silence descended on them for a time before finally his father spoke. “Drugs are one of the ways we finance ourselves, yes. It’s a very large industry that makes a huge amount of money.”_

_“But if you don’t like drugs and don’t believe in them, why do you invest in them?” It didn’t make any sense to him._

_Resting his head on Joseph’s, his father replied “Well, for one thing, like I said, it’s a hell of a business. And a lot of times we have to do things that we don’t necessarily like. For example, I don’t particularly enjoy murdering people but if I have to do it, then I will.” Laughing, his father corrected “Okay, some bastards I just love putting in the ground. But that’s besides the point.”_

_Joseph’s stomach churned at the last sentence. “How can you enjoy killing people?” He whispered. It was such a horribly disgusting thing. Joseph felt like this was one of the moments where the line between ‘his father’ and ‘Lord Kavinsky’ got blurred. When their personalities were a little too mushed together to be able to distinguish one from the other._

_After yet another period of silence, his father just straight up changed the subject. “So I got us a car.”_

_“You always get cars.”_

_“No, I mean I got me and you a project one to work on.”_

_Excitement came alive inside him. Looking to his father with a ginormous grin on his face, Joseph asked “Really?” He had been waiting for months for his father to pick them one. The want to learn and build and fix was huge within him._

_While he still wanted to be a vet, cars were at least going to be a hobby if not another job._

_A smile of his own on his face, his father answered “Really. Sorry it took awhile. I’m picky. Also it took some time to get my hands on what I wanted.”_

_“What’d you pick?”_

_“I eventually decided on a ’69 Charger RT. Maybe this weekend we’ll start.”_

And the weekend had arrived. His father hadn’t been able to take Saturday off, so they settled for Sunday after church and lunch. Venc was supposed to join them soon.

Joseph had been surprised when he first saw the mess of a car. But then he remembered that the car was a ‘project.’ They were supposed to make it awesome. It needed a whole lot of work.

Under the hood was cool to look at although Joseph had no clue what he was looking at besides that it was an engine. “So where do we start?”

“Well, basic maintenance is usually the first step. But because you’re my rookie fellow mechanic, I think we should start with just identification.”

“Actually how about we start with car specs? This isn’t one I know very well.”

Shrugging as he leaned with his elbows on the car, his father said “That works too. So basics. 1969 Dodge Charger RT. A very lovely 440 cid V8 engine. Around 350 horsepower. Four speed manual…uh anything else you need? All this is pretty standard, so in our process of fixing we aim for…”

“Better?”

“Better than better. We go for super fucking amazing.”

“Huh, okay. Question?”

“Yup?”

Scratching his head, Joseph asked “If we already have a lovely V8, how do we make it better?”

“They aren’t all the same. One V8 isn’t like the other one.”

“Then why are they all V8s?” Joseph felt like learning the exact specifics of cars was going to be hard. Identification and simple specifications he could do. But details were going to be a challenge.

His father thought for a minute then said “Think of it like this. You have cats but all the cats aren’t the same. You have different breeds.”

That example didn’t work well. “I think that’d apply to the subject of cars in general. Too broad for this instance.”

Rolling his eyes, he tried again. “Okay fine. Take a…a… shit I don’t know any cat breeds. Okay okay, dogs. I know dogs. Say we have a pit bull but all the pit bulls are different.”

Joseph thought about this for a minute. “That’s more like saying you have Dodge and they have different cars. Because there are three specific breeds of pit bulls; sometimes six when versions of bulldogs and terriers are counted. There’s the American pit bull, the Staffordshire, the-”

“Brat, focus,” his father interrupted. “Get out of animal kingdom and come over to car empire. It’s way cooler. Let’s try it this way: we have three Josephs. Are they all the same because they share a name?”

Nodding, Joseph replied “Okay that makes sense. You have three V8s but each one has its own personality. Some are better than others. I’m the best Joseph by the way. Just ask mayko and Emilio.”

Head rested on his arms, his father started laughing. When he was finished he raised his head with a smile on his face and said “No need to ask, I already know.”

They turned their heads towards the direction of the front of the warehouse – they were towards the back where the ‘garage part’ was – when they heard dogs barking. Because of how expensive the contents of the place were, his father had a lot of security. That included alarms, guards – armed, cameras, and dogs.

The dogs knew Joseph so they were nice to him. He liked them – there were four. A pit, a Rottweiler, a Doberman, and a bullmastiff. They definitely could be terrifying, though, when they were doing their jobs. Emilio had been terrified when he had come. The dogs didn’t like him at first until his father calmed them and introduced them to both Emilio and Mr. Vidal. After that, Emilio and Lud – his father had named the Doberman Crazy; the dogs only knew Bulgarian – had become best friends.

Venc waved to them and was yelling at the dogs at the same time. They wouldn’t advance because they knew Venc and loved him but they didn’t appreciate the stranger walking with him.

Daniel.

There was a brief flicker of annoyance on his father’s face but it was quickly replaced by politeness as he called a hello. He told the dogs to fuck off and shook hands with Daniel when they reached him. “Daniel.”

“Ivo. How are you?”

“Well enough.” Looking to Venc, he raised his brows in question.

“You invited me to help you guys and Daniel always wanted to see the mechanical sides of cars. I figured you wouldn’t mind.”

Sighing, his father looked over at Joseph and asked “Do you mind?”

Looking to his sides and behind himself, Joseph looked back to his father and pointed to himself. “Me?”

With a smile on his face, he replied “Yes, you. This is your car, so your choice.”

“Oh…” He flicked a glance to Daniel who smiled. “I don’t mind. That way I don’t feel like the only stupid one,” he joked.

Daniel laughed and said “Well then we can be idiots together. Always best not to be alone. Especially when there are four savage beasts trying to eat me walking around.”

“Actually, they’d only attack you,” Joseph corrected. “That’s how they’re trained. To guard and protect against strangers and they take their jobs super seriously. It’s also a sense of loyalty. So even though they’re trained to guard the warehouse, if they feel like you’re threatening anyone important to them, they’ll get you.”

He didn’t look relieved at the clarification. If anything, he looked a little more worried. “What if they just don’t like me? And then, I don’t know, they attack?”

Thinking about this for a second, he replied “Well, tatko would get them off you. Venc would help too. Then they’d get you to a hospital and tatko would take care of your bills. You’d suffer some really nasty injuries but don’t worry, it won’t happen.”

Paling a little, Daniel glanced to Venc. Rolling his eyes, Venc said “You’ll be fine. The dogs won’t do anything.”

Joseph remembered a fact he knew. It wouldn’t really make Daniel feel better but Joseph always liked to share what he knew. “Do you guys want to know an animal fact?” He looked in hope to them.

“Go for it,” his father replied.

“Did you guys know that Rottweilers have one of the most powerful dog bites? 356 pounds per inch.”

“That is incredibly not reassuring being that there is a rottie trying to rip me to pieces,” Daniel muttered.

Laughing, Joseph said “Nah, Dama won’t touch you unless you threaten. I already told you that. She’s actually my favorite and super sweet.”

“Super sweet…” Daniel echoed. “Joseph, you are out of your brain. Dama?” Joseph nodded. His father had gone simple and called her Lady. “Dama could kill a man in a matter of seconds.”

“Well, yeah…but she’s still sweet. Sometimes though, Bic gets super excited and freaks me out a bit because she wants to jump on me. One time she did when I was littler and yeah… I didn’t come back for like two months,” he laughed. “Terrifying when you have a huge mastiff on top of you.”

“I can only imagine,” Daniel shivered. “What does Bic mean?”

“Bull,” Venc replied. “She’s a bull mastiff so we figured bull was good. And then there’s our weirdo the pit bull.”

 Joseph shook his head, “He’s not weird. He’s special.”

“Doug is definitely special,” his father laughed.

Daniel started to laugh. “His name is Doug? That’s so odd between everyone else.”

Blushing, Joseph said “I was little and tatko said I get to name one when he got them. I picked Doug. Pretty sure it was from a book.”

As if on cue – he probably heard his name – Doug came running over. Daniel jumped back a thousand feet, Joseph didn’t blame him, as Doug slammed Joseph down to the floor, licking his face.

There were days he was worried that instead of licks, he’d get bites.

His father pulled Doug off by his collar while Venc helped him to his feet. Keeping his grasp on Doug who looked like he was dying to lick Joseph some more, his father asked “Okay?”

Rubbing his elbows with which he had caught himself with, Joseph answered “My elbows will be aching for awhile but yeah, I’m okay.”

It was like the other dogs wanted to see if they would get in trouble for coming over and Doug was their guinea pig. Once they saw that he didn’t get in trouble, they came trotting over. They stared at Daniel curiously but noticed how his father was comfortable. Daniel was cleared in their minds if their master felt he was safe.

Dama came to Joseph and wagged her tail in happiness. Rubbing her big head, he gave her a big hug and said to her “Daniel’s worried you’re gonna eat him. Don’t eat him, okay? He’s bad for your diet.”

Venc laughed and added “I think Lud is gonna beat her too it.”

The Doberman was sniffing Daniel’s legs closely and then licked his jeans. Daniel didn’t even look like he was breathing as the dog continued to sniff him. Bic joined in and found Danie’s smell to be boring. Or at least, that’s what Joseph figured because suddenly she turned and jumped on Joseph, knocking him once again on his back.

Joseph was pretty sure he just had a heart attack.

His father was about to grab Bic while still having Doug in his other hand but Dama beat him and tackled her brother to the floor. They continued to tumble around until Venc yelled at them to stop.  Speaking to them in Bulgarian, his father yelled at them to go outside.

They shot off in seconds. Some days they listened to him like that. But not all the time.

“My face is gross,” Joseph laughed while wiping. He tried to hide how bad he was shaking. Doug scared him when he was on top but Bic was terrifying because she was so big. Her bite was even stronger than Dama’s.

“Those dogs get way to close to your face, Joseph,” Daniel noted. “That can be dangerous.”

Shrugging, Joseph ignored his own little bit of fear because that was something he always worried about and said “We don’t tell mayko that.”

Snorting, his father muttered “No we do not. She’d murder me.”

With arms aching, Joseph said “Dogs are nothing compared to the rest of the animals. The strongest bite in the animal kingdom is the Nile crocodile with a bite at 5,000 pounds per inch.”

“Jesus,” his father said in surprise. “Crocodiles are that strong? I kinda thought it would be hippos with their huge jaws.”

“Hippos are like 1821 psi’s. Jaguars’ bites are stronger.”

“Huh…” Venc trialed. “You know what guys, I want to go to a zoo now.”

Joseph bubbled with excitement. A zoo would be awesome. He looked to his father in excitement. “Tatko?”

“We’ll make it a day. But when it’s not so fucking cold because animals like people, do not enjoy it.”

“Promise?” He bounced.

Smiling, his father replied “Promise. Maybe spring. And we’ll drag everyone with us.”

“Yes!” Venc shouted while raising a fist. When everyone stared at him and laughed, he blushed and mumbled “It’ll be fun. I’m allowed to get excited, thank you.”

“Animals are pretty awesome. Incredibly interesting,” Daniel chimed in.

“You have any pets?” Joseph asked.

A soft smile – it was a little weird because Joseph had never seen it before – grew on Daniel’s face as he answered “Yes actually. A shiba inu. That’s a dog.”

“I know. I’m gonna be a vet.”

“Mechanical engineer,” his father threw in. Joseph looked at him and his father muttered “What? You’re doing both remember?”

Giving a small laugh, Daniel said “Both good professions. And sorry, I just wasn’t sure if you’d know what it was. His name is Akira; he’s black and white.”

“Ooh,” Joseph said in awe. “Can I meet him sometime? I’ve never met a shiba before.”

“Sure! Well, probably. I’d have to bring him from New York but we’ll see.”

“If you animal nerds are done,” his father interrupted, “I have a beautiful car crying for some love.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')


	85. Chapter 84

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http//:www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> What stands in the way of my summer vacation and your guys' three updates a week?  
> Three graphic design projects (they're ginormous) and three exams - two short answer and one multiple choice.  
> This week and the next are just going to be lovely...
> 
> Anywho, the snapshot is now posted! Do enjoy it! I think it became a little more sentimental than fun but... oh well lol Enjoy Venc having a smile on his face and enjoying life ^.^
> 
> Really really savor it
> 
> _“Please put me out of my misery. Please. I can’t take it anymore.”_

“This is delicious!” Johanna exclaimed in delight. She scooped another spoonful of tarator and swallowed it down with a smile on her pretty face. It was too bad that something was up her with her. Joseph liked her a lot.

He didn’t know what it was that could ‘fuck them over’ because as per usual ‘business for adults’ but Joseph was definitely surprised that Venc was still going out with her. With his father’s blessing too. What game they were all playing was a mystery to Joseph but something inside of him told him it wouldn’t end well.

With her beautiful smile on her face, his mother replied “Thank you! It’s one of my favorites; thought I’d give you a taste of some real Bulgarian food.”

Ivet laughed and said “Lady Vesela, I’m pretty sure you just dissed bába’s cooking.”

Joseph couldn’t help but laugh at the color his mother’s face turned as she muttered “That’s not what I meant.” Clearing her throat, she backtracked “What I meant was…okay… I don’t know how to fix that. Whatever. We all know that no one can beat your bába’s cooking. That woman has skill.”

Their heads turned to the door as the bell rang. Jumping out of his seat, Joseph trotted over to open for his father and Venc. He had forgotten to take off the locks earlier so that they could just walk in.

They had invited Johanna, Venc, and Ivet for dinner. They had also invited bába Mateev but she said she wanted the opportunity to enjoy the empty apartment. She didn’t get that often and said as an old lady she had the right to enjoy some peace once in a while.

Joseph figured his father agreed to the dinner for whatever their ‘plan’ was and his mother had liked Johanna so she was all for it. He wondered if she knew whatever the game was. Maybe she’d tell him if he asked.

“Hi, guys,” Joseph smiled after opening the door. “Fashionably late is not as cool as it sounds, you know.”

Both men smiled as they walked in. His father leaned down and kissed the top of his head. “It’s called working, brat.” There were days Joseph couldn’t believe that his father was the same person as before. That someone hadn’t switched out the horribly abusive man he had been.

Well, he was still abusive but it wasn’t like before. And Joseph was happy with that. They actually had a relationship now that extended beyond his father’s annoyance of his existence.

His father _wanted him._ He wanted his son.

And Joseph loved the feeling of being more than just an obligation.

“Uhuh.”

Shutting the door after them, Venc laughed “I’m gonna play Lord Dobrev for minute and say ‘don’t pick up his bad habits, vnuk.’ Because, Christ, Joseph, you sound more like him with every passing day.”

“Don’t make it sound like a bad thing, ass,” his father jumped in as he slipped off his coat and hung it up. “Nothing wrong with my son sounding like me.”

“That depends!” Ivet called from the table.

Laughs came from his mother and Johanna as they walked over to the dining table. His father knocked a fist on Ivet’s head and said “Don’t get nasty on me.”

“You rub off on everyone, my lord,” Ivet laughed. “You’ve plagued us all.”

“That he has,” his mother agreed.

Rolling his eyes, his father kissed Joseph’s mother then took his seat. Smiling to Johanna, he asked “How are you?”

Brightly smiling after sharing a kiss with Venc, Johanna replied “Good, sir. And you?”

“Mmm, not bad, I suppose. Better once I eat.”

“Me and Ivet helped mayko cook today,” Joseph chimed. “So if it tastes good, I claim all credit because I worked hard. If it’s not so great, then it’s all Ivet’s fault ‘cause she was lazy.”

“Jerk,” Ivet laughed as she tried to kick him under the table. She missed but Joseph got in a kick of his own causing Ivet to shriek.

Beaming in satisfaction, Joseph grinned “I didn’t kick you that hard. Don’t be a baby.” He yelped when his mother slapped him on the back of his head. “Ouch!”

“Don’t hit a lady. Shame on you.”

Rubbing the back of his head, Joseph muttered “If I get hit, I’ma hit back. She doesn’t get free hits just because she’s a girl. Girls aren’t defenseless, mayko.”

“Damn straight,” Johanna laughed. “We are tougher than any guy will ever be.” Taking a mouthful of soup, she mumbled “Men are just whiners.”

His mother broke into laughter and nodded her head in agreement. “Aren’t they? They get just a cold and suddenly they’re dying and the world is over. Women? We get our asses up and do what needs to get done. Men are puh-the-tic.”

Staring at her incredulously, his father said “I resent that.”

“That’s because you’re a man, Ivo.”

“I also resent that,” Venc muttered around his spoon.

Scrunching his nose, Joseph mumbled “I don’t think I’m a whiner, mayko.”

Turning to him, she smiled “That’s because you’re not a man yet. I hold out hope for you yet, sweetheart. Who knows, maybe you’ll break the mold.”

“How are Lady Nikol and the new baby?” Ivet asked, moving conversation along.

Face erupting into complete bliss and happiness, his mother replied “Fantastic! Albena is like the most adorable baby I’ve ever seen. God, she is just beautiful. Almost five months now! She the happiest baby ever.”

His Tétka had named his new cousin after her mother – his grandmother. His bába on his mom’s side had died when his mother was only six. She had died from a blood clot in her brain. His grandfather had raised his mother and Tétka all by himself.

“I’ve seen a cuter a baby before,” his father mumbled around a mouthful of food.

“You’d say that even if you didn’t.”

Shaking his head, his father responded “No, really. I’m not just saying it.”

Raising a brow in disbelief, his mother asked “Who? Because Albena has these big beautiful eyes I’ve no clue where she got them from and those adorable chubby cheeks.”

Leaning back in his chair, his father simply said “Joseph. Duh.”

“Duh, mayko,” Joseph laughed. “Nobody beats me. I’m like theee most adorable ever. Ask Ivet.”

They all descended into laughter as they continued their dinner.

 

After Venc had taken Johanna and Ivet home, he came back even though it was midnight. Joseph just knew it meant they were talking something big.

He really wanted to know.

What was the better option? Asking or eavesdropping? If he asked and they said no then they’d be on high alert for him so there was no chance of listening in. But if he just eavesdropped off the bat, then he might get away with it.

Such a huge choice.

Creeping out of his room quietly, he determined that his father and Venc were sitting in the living room. He could hear pretty well from the staircase so Joseph settled himself super quietly on a step.

“Russians?” His father inquired.

“Far as I can tell. I also had Yulian and Asen look into it. Just to check over my conclusions. I didn’t want to be making connections that weren’t there.”

“They agree?”

“Yes but… Yulian has another theory. It doesn’t discredit the Russians but it adds a new player. And quite frankly, Ivo, if he’s right…”

“Bad shit?”

“Bad shit.”

Joseph almost shrieked in fear when someone’s hand was suddenly on his shoulder. But their other hand put a hand to his mouth. Turning his head to look, his terrified heart slowed when he looked into his mother’s piercing gaze.

She dragged him behind her into his room and shut the door. Crossing her arms, she asked “What were you doing?”

Blushing and looking down at the floor, Joseph mumbled “About to find out who the new player was.”

“Joseph, if your bashtá caught you…”

“I was being careful and keeping my ears open.”

Sighing and shaking her head, she leaned against the closed door and pointed out “You didn’t even notice me behind you.”

“That’s ‘cause I was focusing on them…” Biting his lip, he asked “Aren’t you curious about Johanna? About everything?”

She sighed again as she sat on his messy bed. “I’m curious but I don’t want you getting in trouble for our curiosity.”

“Guess you can’t just ask?”

Undoing her already messy ponytail, his mother shook her head to loosen her hair. Running her hands through it, she replied “I’ll see what I can do. But no eavesdropping. Promise?”

“Promise,” he smiled.

  

* * *

 

Keeping up with his habit of staring at the ceiling, Ivo lay in bed doing just that. His mind was filled with his and Venc’s conversation. The intervention of Russians didn’t surprise him. Or at least the fact that they were from Brighton and not here. The ones here were smart enough to know that crossing him was a very horrible thing that shouldn’t be done.

It never ever ended well for anyone who did. Everyone knew that.

And yet the fuckers had.

Interesting.

But what bugged him even more was Yulian’s line of thought on the whole matter.

Because it made goddamn sense.

It didn’t bother him that Yulian had thought of it, what bothered him was what the situation was. Yulian was brilliant; Ivo always trusted his words no matter what. He may hate his guts and get incredibly bothered by his existence but as someone who worked for him, Yulian was one of the best. He broke down situations fast and easily.

And he always was able to find the connections that no one else could.

Like the new player.

Who it turns out was an old one. He just had been on a different side before.

Nikolai.

“Ivo…” Vesela trailed carefully. He knew what was coming.

“No.”

Huffing, she glared at him from her pillow. “You don’t even know what I was gonna say.”

Turning to face her and enjoying a kiss, he murmured “Yes I do. You’re going to ask about what me and Venc talked about or about Johanna. Your husband may be a bastard but he’s a smart one.”

Rolling her beautiful eyes, she muttered “You’re so freaking annoying.”

“Mmm but you love it.”

“You can tell me something. Mob wives always know what’s going on. I know nothing. Like at all.”

Yawning, Ivo mumbled “I don’t want you to. I want you to have a normal as life as possible. You and Joseph. You guys don’t need the garbage I put up with. There’s a reason I don’t bring work home, Vesela.”

Sighing, she scooted closer and tucked her head to his chest. “I love you.”

He wrapped an arm around her and after kissing her head, murmured “I love you too.”

_Ivo sat with Vencislav beside him on a bench, far away from everyone else. He was glad Joseph had enjoyed his birthday. Admittedly, he had been a bit pissed that his son had played him so well but he also felt pride. Joseph had balls._

_His anxious wreck of a child actually had the nerve to play his mobster father. That called for some pride._

_Heart feeling as light as a feather, Ivo thought about his son’s reaction to the necklace. He was so happy that Joseph had loved it. It had been hard passing it on, if he was honest. It was one of the only two possessions he had of his father’s. The other was his wedding ring._

_Turning his attention back to Venc, he focused on what had to be done. If they were going to get through this, then they needed some damn good privacy. Hence the far away bench. Venc was nervous even though he was trying not to show it._

_“I’m sorry,” Venc whispered. “I’m so so sorry.”_

_He had heard these words a thousand times since he had given Venc his job back. Ivo realized that they’d never get anywhere unless he helped him along. “But what exactly are you sorry for? Why do you think I’m so upset?”_

_Rubbing his palms on his jeans, Venc replied “I dragged Lady Vesela and Joseph into something that I shouldn’t have. Because I tried to turn your family against you. I tried to use them to my benefit.”_

_Turning to Venc and looking at him critically, Ivo said “If you know why I’m so fucking pissed, why the hell haven’t you said anything in your thousands of apologies?”_

_“Because I didn’t know I had to tell you! You know I’m not an idiot; I figured you’d know that I know!”_

_“I’m not a fucking psychic, you fucker!”_

_“Okay, well now you know that I know. What now?”_

_“Now you’re forgiven. Do it again and I won’t be so forgiving.”_

_Venc looked at him in surprise, his eyes having grown almost comically huge. “That’s it? That’s all this hell took?”_

_“Yes,” Ivo replied easily. “You just had to recognize and understand what was pissing me off so much.”_

_Shaking his head in utter disbelief, Venc muttered “Jesus fuck.”_

_“Yup.”_

_“So what are we going to do about Johanna and Daniel?”_

_Thinking carefully, Ivo answered “I think our best move right now is to act like we don’t know. We play them like they think they’re playing us.”_

_Ivo could tell Vencislav was picking his next words carefully. “I really don’t think Johanna has anything to do with anything, Ivo.”_

_“No?”_

_“No.”_

_Humming in thought, Ivo said “So you’re going to keep seeing her then?”_

_“You did just say to play them.”_

_“Yes, but that can be accomplished without being with her.”_

_“I love her,” Venc whispered. “She’s so perfect… I want to be with her.”_

_“You don’t think it’ll make things harder for us to play our cards right against them?”_

_Being that he wasn’t a complete idiot, Venc caught what was unsaid. “You don’t think she has anything to do with it either.”_

_“I don’t think she’s entirely complicit. But she knows what’s going on.”_

_“I’m going to stay with her. I love her so much it hurts. It shouldn’t complicate things too much.”_

_Ivo was silent for a time before he murmured “Let’s hope you’re right.”_

_“How bad do you think this could get?”_

_Contemplating this, Ivo didn’t want to give in to his paranoia. How bad could this get? Horrible. Everything could go to shit. Incite gang wars. Anything was possible. “Bad.”_

_Sighing, Venc said full of hope “We’ll totally be fine. No one is stupid enough to think that they could successfully cross you. Or kill you. No way. Everyone knows what happened to the shit who killed Lord Dobrev. How the Italians are in our debt. They can’t touch you.”_

_His stomach bubbled with his worry. Venc’s words were right but Ivo wasn’t worried about himself. He knew that he couldn’t get touched._

_He was worried about the one who could._

_And he prayed to God that they weren’t making a mistake._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')


	86. Chapter 85

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> Wish me luck for a week of finals!
> 
> So this chpt besides for being important includes a special treat! Or at least, I think it's cool just because I've never done it before and I enjoyed it.  
> YULIAN POV my friends. Idk about you guys but I think that's totally awesome. Yulian is an ass but I love him and he's really awesome despite that you guys barely know anything about him. Any of you guys like him? I should like do a poll or something of favorite characters and stuff. I'm so curious what you guys think about everyone. 
> 
> Also I obvs havent done any yet but do you guys actually want character bios? This story is pretty much entirely OCs so I figure someone might? Keep stories and ppl straight? When I read any sort of book, I love knowing every detail about a character to the point of what's their favorite cereal. I love when authors give everything. So I don't know if any of you guys are like me or not... Yes? No? Lemme know. Don't hold your peace, speak please. Everything is already written (I have a notebook full of stuff because I forget or mix up dates and stuff; its like my reference when I write) so yeah... Do tell what you'd like
> 
> Goldfish, your angst has arrived my dude. And Saffooo, if you remember me telling you I'll warn you, this is your warning.
> 
> Enjoy (idk how sensitive you guys are but don't cry; actually it'd be totally awesome if I've made anyone cry because then it means my writing skills are on par. If I haven't yet, I'll try harder) this long chpt and I'll see you guys Thursday.  
> Don't hate me
> 
> _“I think Operation Lie Down was a success. No sound of squished cats.”_

Rubbing his face into the pillow, Joseph moaned in pain. He was all achy and he felt absolutely horrible. Being sick was the worst. He hadn’t bothered with school today – obviously – he could barely move. Except when he had to run to the toilet and throw up. Then he had no choice.

Stomach flu was just awesome.

Mix that with the cough he had for the past week and life was lovely. Joseph just prayed that he’d feel up to par by the time baseball tryouts came around. It was only a week away. What he should be doing was practicing.

But instead he was dying in his room.

Coughing nastily into his pillow, he let out another little moan. He hadn’t eaten properly since yesterday morning. Well, as properly as Joseph’s definition of eating was; his was always a little different than everyone else’s. His mother had given him medicine and told him to try and sleep.

He couldn’t sleep on a normal healthy day, not to manage it when he was sick.

Peanut was curled next to him which was nice. She’d let out an occasional purr every now and then; she was always an awesome comfort to him. He had heard the doorbell a little while ago and wondered who had come but there was no way he could go see. Just reaching the bathroom when he had to throw up was an effort.

When he had caught the stomach flu, his father had laughed and said it was from his Tétka. His mother had punched him and told his father not be rude when she had bothered to make the dessert for his birthday.

_“While that cake was amazing and delicious, it seems to have poisoned her nephew,” his father smirked._

There was a knock on his door as he coughed again. Murmuring a ‘come in,’ Joseph looked tiredly at his mother walking in. She looked…

“Mayko, what’s wrong?”

Joseph could easily tell that she had been crying. Her face was red and eyes puffy. Something bad had happened while Joseph was too lazy to go see the door. Someone had come or something. His heart beat furiously in his chest as he sat up while she sat down. His head was crazily fuzzy and dizzy but her tears were more important than his discomfort.

Sniffling and blowing her nose into a tissue after wiping her eyes, she hugged him tight and close. He curled into her and waited in worry. He felt like he’d go insane when the silence continued and she still hadn’t said a word. All she did was hug him tight and cry into his hair.

“Mayko,” he cried. He couldn’t help it. When he saw people cry, especially his mother, he couldn’t help but catch the tears. “Mayko, what is it?”

Fully breaking into sobs, she simply kept repeating “I’m so sorry, baby.”

Breaking away from her hug so he could just look at her and get her to tell him without having to drag out the words, Joseph asked “What? What are you sorry for?”

She cried as she looked at him, her tissue not really doing any good anymore. Finally, she sobbed “Venc, Joseph.”

Heart skipping some thousands of beats, Joseph whispered “What’s wrong with Venc?” Was he hurt? Shot maybe? It had happened before. Maybe this time it was a little more severe. “Mayko, what!”

Smothering him again, his mother cried “He’s dead, baby.”

“Venc is dead.”

  

* * *

 

Ivo stared at the floor of the room he was in. He wasn’t fully comprehending the fact that he was actually literally sitting on the floor and staring at it. Why did it matter anyways? Sitting on the floor was awesome. Who cared if he sat on it. That’s what floors were for.

For sitting.

Duh.

He was a little startled when suddenly his hand was in view. Ivo didn’t remember moving it. Lifting it, he stared at it closely. Hands. Hands were interesting. They were actually kind of fragile and yet they did a shit ton of things. Difficult, easy, soft, hard, complicated, simple; hell, hands did it all.

Hands.

Hands were interesting.

Flexing his fist and looking at the tendons that moved, Ivo examined his fingers. Fingers. Those were interesting too. Not as interesting as the whole concept of hands but they were cool. Two joints, three segments. A nail.

Nail.

Why were nails called nails?

What came first? A nail or a fingernail? Which had the name first?

“Why the same name…” he murmured. The sound of his voice surprised him. When did he decide to speak?

Voices.

Those were pretty interesting too.

They made noises. Formed words.

Created screams.

  

* * *

 

Joseph was curled in bed with his mother beside him. Her tears had finished; he wasn’t sure if it was because she had gotten a handle on her grief – she was good at that – or because her eyes just couldn’t make anymore.

Him on the other hand? Still going. Waterfalls were pouring out his tear ducts.

How could Venc be dead? It didn’t make sense. Who would want to kill such a wonderful happy guy? He was super nice too.

Why, why, why?

Hiccupping and coughing at the same time, Joseph felt hundreds of thousands of times worse than he had felt earlier. Sickness and grief all mixed together.

Venc was gone.

And never ever coming back.

Sobs subsiding a little, he cried to his mother “How?”

She stiffened; Joseph could feel it behind him.

A lie was being formed. Or at least, a lie of omission.

“Your tetíncho came by and told me. He’s at Ivet’s now. They…your bashtá found his body.”

“T-That’s all you’re gonna tell me?”

Kissing his head, she murmured “That’s all I know for right now. I’m sorry.”

_Liar, liar, liar. Always what you’re good at._

Sniffling, he rubbed his face into his pillow when he felt the growing bubbles in his stomach. Slipping off the bed, he dragged himself to the bathroom. He leaned his head over the toilet and waited for it. Joseph already knew it was coming.

And come it did. Coughing and throwing up and just choking on this stupid thing called life, Joseph cried some more. His mother came and sat beside him, rubbing his back soothingly.

But there was no soothing his hurts right now. There was only pure and utter suffering.

Just like always. Nothing new to his stupid stupid stupid fucking life.

  

* * *

 

Raul walked to the room where he had been told Ivo was. He knocked first even though he was the cop and this was the precinct he worked in but still. Savelio had stayed behind at the casino to keep watch over the crime scene.

Feeling tears prickling at his eyes, Raul changed his train of thought. He didn’t need to think about that right now. Well, technically he did because he was about to talk to Ivo but he needed his head about him. Because Ivo’s probably wasn’t doing well right about now.

He had gotten the call at almost seven this morning. Raul had just gotten out of bed and was about to take a shower when his phone had rung.

_“Yulian?” he muttered as he stared at the screen. The last time Yulian had called him didn’t even register in his brain. It was probably never. Not because of anything, it was just they didn’t generally have conversations outside of when they saw one another._

_Opening the phone once he walked out of the bedroom as to not wake his wife and little girl, Raul said “Hello?”_

_“Raul? I need you. Like right now. Right this fucking minute. Like speed or something but you need to get here. Now. Please.”_

_Startled by the amount of distress and sadness in Yulian’s voice – Raul was sure he heard tears – he asked “Slow down. What’s wrong?” A thousand scenarios ran through his mind._

_Exasperation came immediately through. What was even more surprising was the yelling. “Just fucking get here!”_

_He had no idea what was wrong or going on but if Yulian was willing to curse and yell, something bad had happened. Really bad. “Okay. Here. Where is here?”_

_“The casino. This fucking stupid place.” Raul wondered for a brief minute if Yulian actually liked what he worked. If he had been forced into it like Ivo or if he chose his line of work willingly._

_“Okay, the casino. I’m getting dressed, I’ll be right there.” The casino which was the base of the operations for the Bulgarians wasn’t a place he had ever gone to but he knew where it was._

_“Thank you,” Yulian whispered. “Please hurry. And bring your partner while you’re at it.”_

What he had arrived to wasn’t something he’d ever forget.

No matter what.

  

* * *

 

Yulian sat in his car with his head resting against the wheel. Telling Ivet and bába Mateev about Venc was one of the hardest things in life he had ever done; it was up there with telling Nikol about Timotei.

Usually Ivo handled the deaths. He would always personally visit the families of whoever had died within the mob and pass the news. Timotei had taught them that families should never learn second hand. They came first because they had made the ultimate sacrifice by losing someone.

It didn’t matter how low on the totem pole a person was, Ivo would visit, tell the horrible news, pass his condolences, and stay with them for at least an hour. Then he’d make the promise of caring for them because they had lost their provider and leave. The mob would take care of the family until their deaths. The care didn’t extend to the child once they were an adult but the spouse or parents or whoever would always have money and a roof over their head.

He thought it was interesting because when he had first started, he didn’t understand how the mob could possibly afford to keep itself afloat by providing for all these families. Timotei had explained that first and foremost always came family. If they were not going to care for their own than what were they? Low lifes like the rabble that murdered on streets.

Having gone with Timotei a few times and once with Ivo, Yulian knew the proper way to conduct a death notice to a family.

But telling Venc’s family felt a thousand times different.

The annoying bastard was family. He was around for dinners, lunches, breakfasts, parties, coffee. No matter what it was, Venc was there.

Because he was family.

And losing family hurt more than anything else in this damn world.

Telling Vesela hadn’t been easy. She had broken down the second the words were out of his mouth. Technically, he had broken protocol by telling her first but he knew it was the right thing to do. Ivo wouldn’t be able to think coherently for awhile.

Losing Timotei had been horrible and hard on every single one of them. But it was always understood as part of the job; he was a mobster, he was head. Shit happened. And despite the fact that both he and Ivo had been guilty thinking like this, they were both thankful that he was at least old. Granted, fifty-nine wasn’t that old but Timotei had had his shot in life. He had had a life. Kids had been born; grandkids had come. Life had happened.

Venc didn’t even get the chance. And that ate at him so much.

So while it had been wrong to go immediately to Vesela once he had dropped Ivo at the precinct – he needed to be in someone’s supervision and Yulian was slightly busy – he knew that it was right.

Yulian prayed Joseph would be alright. The boy had it hard, he knew, and Venc’s death was going to shatter that amount of sunshine that Joseph had managed to build for himself the past year and some.

Almost eleven and he fought with both anxiety and depression. There were times when Yulian was convinced there was something even more. He had even told Nikol that maybe Joseph’s head wasn’t entirely okay and she had gotten mad.

_“Come again?”_

_Sighing because he could tell this would get ugly, Yulian said as got into bed “I don’t think Joseph’s mind is okay.” Joseph was a common topic between them; their worry for him always was there. But while the worry existed, Nikol never seemed to want to do something about it. She would just say that she’d tell Vesela and her sister would handle it._

_That made no sense to him. If she knew her nephew was in such a bad situation, why did she just watch? Why didn’t she do anything? If he could, he’d help Joseph himself. But Yulian wasn’t allowed to overstep those bounds; Ivo would legitimately murder him. Yulian had children and wanted to see grandkids not to get murdered by his brother-in-law._

_“What does that mean exactly?” She asked, raising a challenging eyebrow. Nikol was already looking angry. He didn’t mean to offend; all he wanted to do was point out something. He wanted to help._

_“Nikol, he’s not like other kids. He isn’t okay. Don’t you notice?”_

_“There’s nothing wrong with my beautiful adorable nephew. Brilliant beautiful adorable nephew.”_

_“Besides depression and anxiety?”_

_Huffing angrily, she responded “Yes.”_

_“I really think they should take him to a doctor. Psychiatrist maybe. He needs it.”_

_Throwing the blanket off herself, his wife got out of bed and said “I’m joining Anka today.” She grabbed her pillow and walked towards the door of their bedroom._

_“Seriously?” He seriously couldn’t believe this. “What’s better, Nikol? Acting like there’s nothing wrong with him or getting him checked and getting him the help he might need? And if there’s nothing wrong, at least we’d know for certain. What’s better?”_

_Ignoring him, Nikol walked out._

_Calling after her, he said “I don’t understand you people. You would rather ignore the possibility than check it? Why do people think it’s a bad thing if your child is mentally ill? Joseph isn’t okay and I know you know it and your sister knows it and your shit brother-in-law knows it.”_

_“And yet you ignore it.”_

Sighing, Yulian sent another prayer for Joseph. He worried for him and there were days where he swore it was the day he was taking him in. He’d do right by him even if no one else would.

He felt his phone buzzing in his pocket. Taking it out, he opened his phone to speak to Asen.

  

* * *

 

His eyes caught on Ivo sitting in a corner on the floor. Staring incredibly intently at his hand as if it was the most interesting thing in the world. Yulian had brought him because he didn’t want him to be alone but he didn’t think it was a good idea to send him home yet. Raul agreed so here they were.

Walking over, he sat beside his mobster friend. “Ivo.”

Brown eyes flicked to him and stared. There were no tears, no sobs, no sadness. His face was just empty.

It was haunting. With Timotei, Ivo had just broke. Let his emotions flow.

But right now, nothing existed.

“Eyes.”

Worry bubbled in him along with a large amount of confusion. “Eyes?”

Nodding slowly, he murmured “Eyes. They’re balls that you see through. Interesting, huh?”

“Yeah, I guess so.” Fear boiled along the bubbles of worry. But not fear of Ivo. Fear _for_ Ivo.

Something wasn’t right.

“They come in colors, Raul. Cool, isn’t it? All different colors. But not purples or pinks or reds. Different shades too. Like, my eyes and your eyes are brown but they aren’t the same.”

Was it a form of shock? It’d make sense. Nobody would be in their right mind by what they had seen in that room. And Ivo hadn’t just seen.

He had found.

Maybe this was his mind’s way of ignoring or blocking out everything. It didn’t want to remember what it had found this morning. The mind usually blocked traumatic experiences. It needed something to trigger those memories back.

What that would be, Raul didn’t know. And quite frankly, he didn’t know if it was better that his mind was shutting itself or if Ivo remembered and pushed through it all.

“Raul?” He almost seemed like a weird childish form of himself from the way he was speaking. It was so odd and freaky.

“Yes?”

“Did you know that my brother was murdered? Did I ever tell you?” His head was cocked to the side in utter curiosity. Like talking about a dead brother was nothing.

Raul knew but it was more because he suspected from the very little amount he knew of Ivo’s life. “You’ve never told me.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. Friends are supposed to tell each other everything and I didn’t tell you. I’m sorry.”

Smiling, Raul replied “Apology accepted. No harm done.”

Ivo smiled but it had no life to it. It was like the fog his brain had put on itself had grown to the rest of him. It was beyond freaky. “Thank you. He was chopped up into little pieces and I found him.” His heart stopped when Ivo stared laughing. “He was only eleven. Barely. Only a few months. I was sixteen.”

“Only eleven…”

“Yeah,” he laughed. “I couldn’t do it.”

A look came on his face. His brain was running through memories and the fog was clearing from what Raul could tell.

His brother was the trigger.

Ivo’s face was starting to look aware. And then it happened. In a matter of seconds.

The mask broke.

Tears flooded like nothing else.

“I-I couldn’t keep him safe. I-I tried so hard but they caught up with us. And they took him and killed him. Fed his pieces to the f-fucking dogs while I was watching. I-I t-tried so fucking hard to keep him safe and I just couldn’t do it. J-Just l-like… j-just like I can’t keep anyone safe.”

“Just like I couldn’t keep Venc safe.”

Tears were silently rolling down Raul’s face. Listening to someone’s pain was one of the hardest things. Listening to a friend’s pain was even harder.

“I-I couldn’t protect Venc, or Timotei, or my mother, or my brother, or my father. K-Knowing my shitty luck, I-I’m probably going to lose Vesela and Joseph too. B-Because I’m such a horrible human being who doesn’t deserve anyone.”

Looking straight into Raul’s eyes, Ivo stared at him with his pain as open as the ocean.

“Please put me out of my misery. Please. I can’t take it anymore.”             

Breathing deep, Raul wiped his tears on his sleeve and steadied himself. He knew Ivo didn’t really like hugs but hell if he wasn’t going to get one now. Wrapping an arm around him and pulling Ivo in, Raul rested his head on the taller man’s. They sat like that for what felt like hours but Raul knew it wasn’t. He focused on keeping himself calm and his heartbeat steady so Ivo could take comfort from the rhythm.

His sobs continued but eventually they became quiet tears which became sniffles. When Raul was confident that Ivo was ready for the silence to be broken, he whispered “If you have nothing in yourself to live for, live for your beautiful wife and your brilliant boy. Live for Vesela and Joseph. They need you and love you. Don’t give up on them, Ivo.”

Ivo breathed in an incredibly shaky breath and then murmured “What if I can’t keep them safe?”

“You’re doing a fantastic job so far.”

Shaking his head, Ivo replied “I couldn’t keep Joseph safe. I almost lost him about two months before he met Emilio. I didn’t keep him safe.”

Raul had no idea what that meant but he was too afraid to ask. The last thing he wanted to do was bring about more pain. “But he’s safe now. He’s okay.”

“He’s not okay and you know it. Anyone who meets him can tell he’s not okay. You would never let your kid get kidnapped. You would’ve never let it happen. I’m too stupid and couldn’t stop it. I didn’t even think of it even though I should have assumed it might happen.”

 _Kidnapped. Dear God, that’d explain so much._ “But you got him back. And he’s doing okay. Think of the positive.”

Laughing, Ivo whispered “There’s so little positive in my life.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')


	87. Chapter 86

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> Sooo no character bios? No birthdays or descriptions or all that lovely stuff? No one's a detail lover like me? You guys can say you'd like them whenever I guess
> 
> Today includes more Yulian (he's fun, ok?) plus bonding. Also includes Ivo/Raul bonding. And some personal stuff about them (more Raul then Ivo but yeah). This chpt is almost 4000 words which I was totally shocked by when I pasted it in. I didn't think I had written that much. Maybe I should have broken it into two chapters... too late though...  
> I guess you guys get to have an extra long chpt!
> 
> Enjoy ^.^
> 
> _"I don’t like you but I don’t want you dead.”_

“I didn’t want to leave before Ivo came but I don’t want to leave Ivet and bába by themselves for too long,” Vesela said as she pulled on a pair of boots.

“Don’t worry about it,” Yulian murmured. He didn’t think leaving them alone was a good idea either.

After going back to the casino and dealing with both the mob and the police once he had gone home and told his own family the news, Yulian had gotten a call from Vesela asking him to come sit with Joseph. She and Nikol wanted to go to Ivet and bába Mateev and she didn’t want Joseph to be alone.

No one in their right mind would leave him alone right now.

So he delegated to Asen to handle everything and to call him if there was anything urgent. Power had been shifted to him until Ivo was functioning again because a second still hadn’t been named. Yulian knew it was because Ivo was waiting for Vencislav to turn 21.

Except now Venc was gone.

When there was no second in command named, power turned to family ties. Yulian was next in line after Ivo. He had called Raul to see how Ivo was doing and the answer he got was silence. And the complete change of subject.

Yulian assumed that his brother-in-law wasn’t doing so well.

Raul told him that he wanted to keep Ivo with him for a little longer before sending him home. He didn’t think that he was quite ready yet. Yulian didn’t need to see Ivo to agree.

A sad smile came on Vesela’s face but no tears. The Dobrev sisters were the two strongest women Yulian had ever met in his life. How they managed to get a grip on grief, he had no clue. It was amazing. “If Nikol and I stay for the night and… and Ivo’s still not back just take Joseph to your house. I think Ivo’s going to need awhile.”

Nodding, Yulian replied “Don’t worry about it.”

After locking behind her, Yulian breathed deep and let it out slowly. Him and Joseph didn’t generally spend much time alone together; his nephew always seemed uncomfortable around him. Yulian blamed Ivo for that.

Slipping off his shoes at the foot of the stairs, he went up and stood in Joseph’s doorway once he reached his room. There were sniffles coming from the lump under the blanket.

“Joseph,” Yulian said quietly as he walked over. He crouched beside the bed where he was pretty sure Joseph’s head was. “Joseph.”

There was a small movement and then eyes peeking out at him. They were red and puffy, still full of tears that were waiting to be spilled. He blinked and waited to see what Yulian had to say.

“Do you mind if I sit with you? Maybe lie down? I’m exhausted.”

A moment of nothing passed and then Joseph shook his head. “Don’t squish Peanut,” he whispered.

Smiling, Yulian stood and went to the other side of the bed. Getting up, he very carefully laid down, making sure he didn’t squash the cat while he was at it. Once he was comfortable, he murmured “I think Operation Lie Down was a success. No sound of squished cats.”

Joseph let out a small giggle through his tears. “That’s good.” He erupted into a nasty cough, letting it out into his pillow.

“Do you want water?”

Shaking his head no, Joseph was quiet before he mumbled “Tetíncho?” Yulian hummed to let Joseph know he was listening. “Promise you won’t lie to me?”

Yulian scrunched his face in confusion as he stared at the ceiling. He didn’t make it a habit to lie about anything but it was such an odd thing for Joseph to say. “Promise.”

“How’d Venc die? I know mayko knows but she won’t tell me.”

He froze. This wasn’t a question that he wanted to answer.

Fucking promise. Joseph sunk him into it knowing that Yulian would get stuck.

How on earth was he supposed to tell him? Yulian hadn’t even told his own kids. All he had said was that Venc was dead. It had been horrible telling bába and Ivet the details. He hadn’t wanted to but he knew he had no choice.

Now he had to tell Joseph.

But how? The last thing he wanted was to remember this morning. His mind had been working hard to block it out. Just so he didn’t have to see the room over and over again.

The replay wasn’t something he enjoyed.

_He stood in the doorway of the main room, his mind not comprehending what he was seeing._

_It was too hard. It was too goddamn fucking unbelievable._

_Ivo also stood in the room except he was standing at the edge of the table. He was frozen; it was like he wasn’t even breathing._

_Yulian couldn’t see what he was staring at because his body was blocking but there was more than enough to look at already. Swallowing, he walked closer to see. He didn’t know who the poor soul was but whoever it may be had suffered horribly._

_He sucked in his breath when he reached Ivo and saw what he was staring at. “Dear God no…” His stomach churned and twisted and compressed. His eyes he could feel were huge and his heart was beating uncontrollably. The tears began to prickle. “No…”_

_Still not moving, Ivo didn’t say a word. It was like he wasn’t even here. And he needed to not be here. Yulian wasn’t going to let him put himself through hell by standing and not looking away._

_No one deserved that._

_But then, no one deserved what Venc had gone through either._

“Joseph,” he whispered, “Please don’t make me.”

Turning to face him, Joseph blinked at him steadily. “Murder. I figured that much. Tell me the rest.”

Sitting up, Yulian watched the brilliant boy before him. Finally, he said “I can’t.”

“You promised.”

“I promised not to lie to you. I’m not lying. Please do not make me put it into words. I can’t do it.”

Glaring at him – it was a very Ivo look – Joseph replied “That’s not fair. I deserve to know. Just because I’m a child doesn’t mean I can’t know.”

“I never said-”

“Then tell me!”

Silence fell upon them. How exactly was he supposed to tell a child what he had seen in that room? Yulian didn’t think he’d ever be able to sit in there again. He had no idea how Ivo was going to manage it.

“Please, tetíncho,” Joseph whispered with his voice cracking with tears.

“I’m sorry but I can’t. Not because you’re a child but because I can’t put what I saw into words. I really really can’t.”

Yulian pulled Joseph into a hug as he broke into more sobs while coughing. If he ended up getting sick then oh well. Right now, he could care less.

  

* * *

 

This probably wasn’t the best and most ethical idea he’d ever had but Raul felt like it was good for the moment.

It seemed to be working okay so far.

He pushed another bottle of beer to Ivo. Raul was aware that Ivo generally drank the expensive stuff when he did bother to take a sip but Raul couldn’t afford that crap.

Beer was a good alternative.

Taking the bottle, Ivo popped the cap off and took down a gulp. It was his third beer so far; Raul wasn’t sure about his level of tolerance but he was keeping a good eye on him. Ivo hadn’t said a word at all. He simply accepted what was given more than happily. Raul figured he wanted his brain to forget as quickly as possible.

After downing the rest of the bottle, Ivo mumbled “What kind of friend actively tries to get the other drunk?”

“Well,” Raul answered as he pushed yet another bottle over, “There are two kinds. You tell me which I am. The asshole or the best kind?”

“Totally the best one,” Ivo mumbled around the mouth of the next beer before taking a chug.

“I might cut you off after that one.”

“See? Now you’re the asshole. Amazing how fast you change.”

Giving a small smile, Raul murmured “Shit happens.”

“Whoa, language.”

Smiling as he nodded, Raul thought for a minute about what he was going to share. It was only fair that he gave a piece of himself. Ivo had trusted him with the story of his brother, he deserved something in return. Obviously it wasn’t drastic like murder but it was something that ate at Raul all the time.

“Did I ever tell you about my family?”

Gazing at him curiously, Ivo shook his head. “Just that you’re the third child.” He wasn’t sounding like himself still but the beer had helped. Raul didn’t want him to think about Venc until it was absolutely necessary.

“The oldest is my sister. Married but she never wanted kids. Then my brother who’s married with two kids. I have my younger brother who is also married and has three kids. They all live in Connecticut. I moved there first but my mother wanted us to remain close with one another so they joined afterwards. We all lived close except my younger brother who lived in the next city over. My father lives with him.”

Ivo thought a second before saying “I just figured he wasn’t in the picture because I don’t think you’ve ever mentioned a dad.”

He couldn’t help the bitter laugh that escaped from his lips. “Technically, he’s not. He and I haven’t spoken since Maria was born. Before that even because only a few words passed between us once I brought her mother home. I am his horrible disappointment.”

Looking surprised, his friend murmured “You? No way.” He finished his beer and looked hopefully to Raul for another. He mulled it over and decided he might as well have one more. If anything, Ivo would be able to sleep tonight.

“Nurse it because that’s it,” Raul said as he handed Ivo the bottle. “My siblings all have major professions and I’m just a cop is one problem.”

“Detective. There’s a difference. And what’s wrong with a detective?”

Sighing, he muttered “Everything to my father. My sister is a pharmacist, one brother a doctor, and the other a lawyer. Then there’s me.”

“I like you.”

Smiling as he took a sip of water, Raul replied “Thank you. I’m also the one who came home with a pregnant girlfriend at seventeen. And the one who was a gangbanger and-”

“Whoa. Whoa,” Ivo raised a hand in a ‘stop.’ “Back up, beeotch. Gangbanger? I think I heard wrong because of my inebriation.”

“Can’t you just say drunkenness like a normal person?”

“No,” he burped. “Answer.”

“You heard right,” Raul sighed. “I joined up when I was twelve. Stopped when Maria’s mother-”

“Just say her fucking name. ‘Maria’s mother’ is soooo long,” Ivo interrupted as he took a tiny sip of his beer. Her took the ‘nurse it’ comment to heart.

Rolling his eyes, Raul continued “I stopped when Laticia was five months pregnant and started showing. I realized that I was about to be a dad and I wouldn’t be any good if I kept on. It hadn’t really clicked that I was about to become a father until then.”

Gnawing on his lip, Ivo whispered “I wasn’t ready to be a father. Hell, I wasn’t even ready to be husband. I’m pretty shitty at both.”

Pausing his own story for a minute, Raul contemplated this. He’d never seen anything that would make him question Ivo’s devotion to his family. The mobster seemed great with both wife and son.

But then, maybe, Raul just wasn’t looking hard enough.

Deciding that Ivo didn’t need more grief by thinking about his possible failures as a family man, Raul continued “I got out – through a whole lot of hell – and decided after holding my baby girl that I wanted her to be in a safe world. So I became a cop. My father hated that. He hated that I was a gangster – I understand that bit – and he hated when I came home with Laticia, he hated that I divorced and didn’t try to fix the shit with her-”

Pointing at him with his beer bottle, Ivo asked “If shit didn’t work, why try to fix? Why go through that?”

“My dad doesn’t believe in divorce. He says it’s shameful. It doesn’t matter that she was mean or that she cheated on me. _Three times._ ” He gave her two chances and yet she still went and did it again. Why should he have kept dealing with that?

Ivo was silent with wide eyes. After a minute passed, “I’ve been cheated on.”

Raul had to admit that he was surprised by this revelation. Did he mean by Vesela? She didn’t seem the type. They both seemed so devoted to one another. “Oh?”

“I had a girlfriend before Vesela back in Bulgaria. We were together since we were thirteen and then two years later, she wanted to have sex but I told her no. I didn’t see why we had to rush it. Two days later I went to my cousin’s house to give him something and found her on her knees for him.”

“Wow…”

“Yeah,” he laughed. “I told her to enjoy and to never show her face again. I broke my cousin’s nose later that day when the family came over for dinner.”

“They stay together?”

“I’ve no clue if they’re still together or not. They were when I left almost two years later.”

He knew that Ivo and his family had fled. But they had family still there? Why didn’t the family he had help? Why weren’t they still in touch?

Weird.

Snorting, Ivo laughed “My wife’s a whore too. I guess I have a type or I am shiiiit in bed.” He laughed again while staring at his beer, “I think it’s the former because I’m fucking amazing at everything.”

“My wife…” Raul echoed. “Vesela’s cheated?” The day was just full of shockers today.

“Oh yeah. Just once so far. She used to fuck a dude on the side because, apparently, I wasn’t giving her enough attention. It’s my fault.”

At first Raul thought Ivo was joking when he said it but then he realized that he was serious. He truly believed it was his fault Vesela cheated. “Ivo, when someone cheats on you, it isn’t your fault.”

He looked surprised at this revelation. “Of course it is. If I had given her everything, she wouldn’t have done it. She swore.”

The man before him was far from naïve and yet he seriously believed what he was saying. She swore? That was the stupidest thing he’d ever heard. “It doesn’t matter what she swore, it’s not your fault. Don’t believe that it is.”

Shaking his head, Ivo said “She swore, Raul. I believe her. She won’t do it again because I give her everything now. I always make sure to. It was my fault.”

There was no way that Raul would be able to convince Ivo otherwise. He just hoped Vesela wouldn’t do it again. He didn’t think she’d ever do it in the first place but maybe he didn’t know them as well as he thought he did.

“So keep going,” Ivo said with head tilted in questioning.

“Right. So, my mother was ecstatic when we divorced; she said that was one of the best things I’ve ever done. That’s next to getting out of the gang and becoming a cop. My dad hated when I joined the academy even though I was turning my life around. Hell, he even hated when I got with Claudia; she’s too fat apparently.”

Ivo choked on his sip of alcohol. “I’m sorry, what?”

Feeling the exuberant amount of hate he held for his father at always making him and his family feel like they were worthless, Raul repeated “She’s too fat.”

Looking completely dumbfounded, Ivo said “He’s one of those?”

“He’s one of those. She’s not pretty enough and when she has kids she’ll be even fatter. I shouldn’t waste my time. At least Laticia was thin even if she could be nasty in attitude.” He mocked his father’s disgusting words. They hadn’t talked for months during that time but he had been willing to share his opinion. Claudia had been so upset and told him that she wasn’t good enough for him, to just find himself someone better. Someone prettier.

It took weeks for him to convince her that there was no one better than her. That she was the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on.

“I don’t know if I’ll ever meet your dad but he’s a load of fucking bullshit.” Ivo laughed but not a real one, it was more of the kind generated from alcohol. “Don’t worry, mine was too. I loved him but he was hor-riii-ble. Compleeete piece of shit.”

Raul decided that would be their bonding topic for their next heart-to-heart moment.  “He came to my wedding but didn’t say a word. He refused to give us his blessing too.  It also bugged him that she was older than me. He kept saying she was a cougar looking for a young man to give her some excitement.”

“Jesus fuck.”

“I haven’t spoken to him since. He doesn’t even know my kids despite that we lived so close to each other all those years. He knows their names and birthdays but that’s it. He sees their pictures when I send to my siblings or when we were there and they’d take some.”

Memories from the past funneled through his brain. “My house was somewhere he refused to step into. I used to make the kids call to speak to him because regardless of what’s between us, they should know their grandfather but he never would talk to them. My brother would say ‘Alicia wants to talk to you’ and he’d refuse to take the phone. After the first few times, I don’t bother anymore. I don’t appreciate seeing the hurt that he causes on my kids’ faces.”

“Your mom loves you,” Ivo said helpfully.

Laughing, Raul replied “That she does. Mostly I think because she feels horrible of the way papi treats me. Which is why she lives with me instead of with her husband. She doesn’t want me to feel left out. I’m definitely thankful for having her around. The kids love her.”

  

* * *

 

Opening his eyes slowly, Joseph blinked at the sleeping form of his tetíncho. When his mother had said that she was going to Ivet, Joseph had wanted to go with her. He had wanted to hug Ivet and smother her in as much as support he could manage. But then he thought about how he wasn’t quite ready to face anyone’s grief. He barely had a handle on his own. He told his mother to make sure to do it for him. She had suggested his tetíncho when they realized he’d be alone.

Joseph had been a little nervous about that but here they were.

Poking him, Joseph whispered “Tetíncho?”

His uncle’s eyes opened when Joseph poked him a few more times. Joseph loved his eyes; they were beautiful. Anka had his eyes and Joseph felt like Albena might end up having them too. It was a good thing Andrey didn’t because then he would never let it go that he had colored eyes.

Emerald were the color of his mother’s beautiful eyes but his tetíncho had these startling sea greens that Joseph was so jealous of. His tetíncho was a handsome man and the first time Joseph had really thought about genetics, he asked where Andrey’s huge ears had come from.

Because neither of his parents had them.

_Staring intently at his aunt and uncle, Joseph looked back to Andrey. Turning back to his Tétka, he asked “Why are Andrey’s ears so big?”_

_His father started choking on his bite of food and laughter while his mother gave him a nasty glare at his rudeness. He didn’t think it was rude; it was a genuine question._

_Andrey looked beyond angry and a little hurt too. Tétka Nikol looked annoyed but surprisingly tetíncho was…_

_Laughing?_

_“Stop laughing at me, tatko!” Andrey whined as he covered his ears. “That’s just mean!”_

_Waving his hand while still laughing, tetíncho Yulian said “I’m sorry, Andrey. I can’t help it.” Smiling to Joseph, he laughed “If you remember my dad when he visited? That’s where those monsters come from. I used to make fun of his ears all the time.”_

“Are you ready now?” he whispered. Joseph had cried himself to sleep and figured that his tetíncho must have decided to sleep too.  He didn’t want to have to make him suffer by putting everything into words but Joseph needed to know.

Sadness flickered in the depths of his eyes. He had probably hoped that Joseph would either forget or let it go. “Do I have to?”

“Please? You don’t even have to give ultra details just…just the basics.”

“The basics,” he murmured back. After a minute or two of quiet, his tetíncho said “Torture, Joseph.”

“T-Torture?” His heart stopped its beating and the rest of him froze. Even his upset stomach stopped bubbling. Venc had suffered.

The boy who was like an older brother to him had suffered until death.

Tears started streaming down his face and he coughed and choked on hiccups full of snot and tears. Pulling him into a hug, tetíncho Yulian pressed his face into Joseph hair. He was pretty sure he was crying too. Despite how stupid the thought seemed, Joseph never realized how much of an actual person his tetíncho was beyond just the uptight prude his uncle always seemed to be. He began to rub Joseph’s back and whispered one thing over and over again.

“I’m sorry.”

Wiping his tears into the man’s shirt, Joseph cried “Me too.” Venc’s death would be a little easier to swallow if he had known that he hadn’t suffered like his grandfather hadn’t. But knowing that Vencislav went through hell before he was blessed with death was just horrible.

So utterly horribly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')


	88. Chapter 87

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> A lot of this story arc will be told through flashbacks, so prepare yourselves. I thought it'd be the best way to handle the story line so you guys can 'see' everything that happens while still playing into Joseph's pov. Because obviously he wasn't there when Venc died and he's not going to be there when Ivo murders the world. I think so far it's working out good. The next chpt is entirely a flashback actually.
> 
> If you didn't read what I told the very awesome Goldfish, Venc's death is going to be told in bits and pieces to (1) make it different than Timotei's death and (2) I thought it'd be keeping with the mystery and interest. So by the end of the story arc, if there are still questions about his death that you feel haven't been covered, lemme know and I'll make a snapshot to cover it.
> 
> Think that's it for today... OH OH GUYS  
> TUESDAY UPDATE  
> Y'all get three chpts this week! So I'll see you guys on Tuesday!  
> Enjoy!
> 
> _“What the fuck…” he whispered. “What the holy fucks of all fucks.”_

Unlocking the door, Raul let a tipsy Ivo go first. His brain was still about him but the alcohol had worked its magic. It was late with the sun having set a couple hours ago. He was surprised that the house was so quiet.

It’s like Ivo knew what he was thinking because he mumbled “Vesela went to Ivet.” He stumbled a little as he made his way to the stairs, almost tripping on a pair of shoes that were at the foot of them.

“What about Joseph?” he asked worriedly. He really hoped he wasn’t here alone.

Ivo pointed to the shoes. “Duh, Raul.”

Staring at a pair of Armani shoes that cost more than all of his combined, Raul tried to put the pieces together. What did shoes mean? They looked Ivo’s size. Were they not his? His question was answered a moment later when there was a sound at the top of the stairs. That would explain the car he had seen outside.

Yulian gave them a sad smile as he came down. Once he reached them, he stood in front of Ivo with a face full of concern. “Ivo?”

The drunk smile he had been wearing for the past half hour grew larger. “Oh hi, Yulian. Are you making sure my kid doesn’t kill himself?”

The expression on Yulian’s face exactly mirrored what Raul was feeling – confusion, shock, and a large amount of worry. “What?”

Shaking his head, Ivo laughed “Nothing. Don’t listen to my stupidity. All it does is get people dead.” He snorted and corrected “Get people killed.” Placing a hand on Yulian’s shoulder – he was maybe an inch or two shorter than Ivo – he said in all seriousness “I don’t like you but I don’t want you dead.”

Still looking incredibly confused but going with it, Yulian replied “Thank you. I don’t want you dead either.”

Ivo nodded while still smiling and burped “Excuse me. I need to get to my room and piss. In the bathroom, don’t worry.” Stumbling up the stairs, Ivo disappeared into the hall.

Glaring at Raul, Yulian hissed “Your grand plan was to get him drunk?”

“You got a better idea? You weren’t there when he was out of his mind and talking nonsense or laughed because his brother was murdered. I figured clearing his mind for a while couldn’t hurt.”

A look passed on Yulian’s face that he didn’t quite understand. Maybe Raul wasn’t the only one who had encountered an Ivo that wasn’t entirely in his mind. “Drunk Ivo doesn’t forget things. He just makes it all into sinister jokes.”

Exasperated, Raul muttered “He seems alright so far.”

Sighing and sitting down on the last stair, Yulian murmured “Something tells me this is going to be a lot like when his mother died.” Placing his head in his hands, he added “It was bad.”

Dropping down beside the other man on the step, Raul said “We’ll help him through it.”

“He won’t let you. Ivo shuts in on himself until he’s ready. He lets Vesela in occasionally but that’s it. I’d be careful around him for the next maybe month.”

“Careful?”

Picking his head back up, Yulian said “He gets murderous. Say one wrong thing and you could come incredibly close to death, my friend. His mom died from a heart attack and he tried to kill the E.M.T who pronounced her dead. Almost crushed his windpipe.” Taking in a shaky breath, Yulian continued “Venc was tortured and murdered. What do you think Ivo’s going to do?”

He had a feeling the question was rhetorical because Yulian would know better than anyone what Ivo would do. _Will do._ “How’s Joseph?”

Laying back on the stairs despite how uncomfortable it seemed, he answered “Not so good. He fell asleep-”

They both turned as a nasty cough came from behind them. Joseph was coming down the stairs while leaning on the wall for support. Obviously he wasn’t drunk but he was as tipsy as his father. He had the ugly cat along with a blanket in his hand and Peanut following close behind.

Yulian sat up and pulled his nephew into his lap. Raul noticed that Joseph was a little stiff by this gesture but he sat regardless. “I expected you to sleep a little longer.”

“I don’t sleep on normal days,” Joseph coughed. He looked like he had been crying for hours. Hell, he probably had. The poor thing looked terrible. “Hi, Mr. Vidal.”

“Hey, Joseph.” Raul wondered how much Joseph knew. He wasn’t the type who would take the bare minimum information. He’d demand information. “How are you?”

Biting his lip hard, tears welled and he replied “N-Not so well…”

“I brought you dad home. Drunk but home.”

Joseph was alert in a second. Getting out of his uncle’s lap, he slowly trudged his way back upstairs to go see his father. Raul prayed that Ivo wouldn’t make one of those sinister jokes in front of Joseph right now. The boy could do without them.

Turning his attention back to Yulian, he asked “How are your kids?”

“Handling it better than Joseph. But let’s be real, Joseph is much closer to Venc than they are.”

That was a good point. “Nikol?”

“Nikol and Vesela are the two strongest women I’ve ever met. They get hold on their grief and think of a way to help everyone through theirs. Even when Timotei died, they just soldiered through and helped whoever needed it.”

Another good point. They were definitely strong women. Raul had been impressed by how they had handled their father’s death. “How about Ivet and her grandmother?”

Yulian was silent for a time before he murmured “They took it really hard. I don’t blame them; I told them everything. I couldn’t keep it from them. Ivet broke down in seconds and bába starting wailing and crying and…” Yulian’s voice cracked “Jesus, it was so hard… Nikol and Vesela are staying the night there.”

He nodded in lieu of a reply. They’d need all the support they could get. He wondered if they wouldn’t mind Claudia going to them. Raul knew that she’d want to. His stomach turned a little about having to tell his own family. His kids were going to take it hard. “Who’s with your kids?”

“My parents are visiting. They’ve been in town for the past two days. We were all supposed to have dinner together tomorrow. Venc included.”

Raul stared at Yulian not understanding what was just said. It was stupid but he couldn’t believe it. “Did you just say your parents?”

A laugh came out of Yulian. “Yes, Raul, my parents. They are alive and well and kicking. Along with my siblings.”

Staring incredulously, Raul muttered “Siblings…”

With a small smile on his face, Yulian replied “Yes, my siblings. Four. Two brothers and two sisters.”

“Yulian we have known each other for three years now and I had no idea you have family.” Not even just family but family that was involved. They visited and Raul had never heard before.

Shrugging, he replied “It never came up. My parents usually visit once a year; it takes longer to see my siblings though. They’re all here in Jersey; one in New York.” He paused for a second and then added “They all see each other a lot but they don’t like coming to me. They say it’s worrisome and uncomfortable. They don’t mind if I go to them though. I don’t get a chance often because of work. But yeah, alive and well.”

“Swear?”

“Swear,” he snorted in amusement. “I’m their disappointment but it luckily didn’t break us apart.”

“Whoa, sounds like a conversation I just had with Ivo. I’m my father’s disappointment.”

“Oh no, I’m the entire family name’s disappointment. Uncles, aunts, cousins, you name it.” Laughing, he said “My name is sorta taboo to like extended family. Like my grandparents and one or two uncles. Everyone else don’t mind so much as long as they don’t have to see anything or think about me too long. Hell, when my nephews or nieces would ask about me when they’re little, my siblings would change the subject.”

Now Raul wasn’t believing anything. How could righteous uptight Yulian be the disappointment? “Are you sure you’re talking about the same Yulian?”

  

* * *

 

He stared at his father sitting on the floor of the shower. It was on and his father was soaking but it didn’t seem to bother him; even with his clothes on. Sniffling as he put down his stuff, Joseph walked to his father and sat beside him. Who cared if he got wet? He was already sick anyways. Peanut waited just outside the shower, settling herself down on the floor. She didn’t see the need to get wet.

His father turned to look at him, a bright smile on his face. “Hi, Joseph.”

Joseph had never encountered the drunk version of his father, he hoped this would go okay. “Hi.”

Tilting his head a little, his father said “Don’t worry.”

“About?” He whispered.

“I’m going to murder them all. Every single one of them. They’re gonna suffer worse than Venc did. I promise.”

Biting his lip, Joseph scooted closer to his father and hugged him tight. “I hope so.”

Hugging him back and resting his head on Joseph’s, his father murmured “This is a promise I’ll keep no matter what. No matter whatever happens, I’m going to ruin those bastards. Even if I have to drag them into hell with me. They’re going to be screaming for mercy when I barely start and by the end?” His father leaned back, the smile still there. “Do you know what they’ll be doing by the end, Joseph?”

Thinking carefully, he replied “Begging for death?”

The smile grew larger and there was a spark of happiness in his father’s eyes at getting the right answer. “Exactly. They’ll beg and beg and beg for me to put them out of their misery. But I won’t. I’ll make them suffer for days upon days upon days. I’ll let their wounds heal only to rip them open again and again and again.” He laughed and added “And again.”

What was terrifying to Joseph was that he didn’t doubt his father’s words. He knew for a fact that he would do them. He felt like he was sitting with Lord Kavinsky and not so much the man who was a car nerd or still played video games. “Do you already know who?”

An incredibly thoughtful look came on his face. “No, not exact identification but damn do I have a very large and very credible hunch. I’m never wrong about these things. I’ve got three people on my hit list; they’re all going to die. I’ve got two more who are simply going to suffer. I’ll let them live though.” He laughed a sick dry laugh that Joseph hated hearing, “Or maybe I won’t. Maybe I’ll just kill everyone.”

He stared at his father a while longer before he whispered “I’m going to take you out some clothes. You’re going to take a shower and cry all you need to. And then after you get dressed, me and you are gonna sleep.”

His father laughed again and replied “Why would I need to cry?”

Tears welling in his eyes at the thought of Venc, Joseph answered “Because Venc is dead. Because he’s gone and never ever coming back. And because you love him and are gonna miss him lots just like me. You need to cry to make the hurts hurt a little less. You need to cry because once your tears are all empty, it’ll be a little easier to think about him. And it’ll be easier to go see Ivet and bába tomorrow. Because they need you. Just like me.”

The smile vanished from his father’s face as the words began to sink in. The smile vanished but it didn’t stop him laughing.

But it wasn’t a happy laugh.

It was horribly broken and hysteric.

And eventually the tears joined in.

“H-He’s fucking g-gone. T-That s-stupid stupid bastard.” Letting in to his emotions, his father broke into heavy sobs. Pulling up his knees, he rested his head on them and cried his pain.

Joseph hugged his father tight and kissed his soaking hair. “We’re all gonna get through this together. We’re gonna all be there for each other and help each other out. Because Venc woulda wanted that.”

He held his father for what felt like years as he cried. Sometimes he would sing to him or sometimes press kisses to his head. Joseph was surprised that he himself wasn’t in tears. Was he all cried out?

Or maybe it was because he realized that there was someone in need of some strength.

His mother would always lend hers no matter what. To him, his mother was one of the most amazing people; she loved helping and supporting. Joseph wanted to be like that and sense his mother wasn’t here to lend her strength to his father, he would do it for her.

He wanted to be strong because Venc would’ve liked that. Because he was one of the strongest people ever. Despite everything life through at him, he only ever saw the positive. Venc would always have a smile on his face and was ready to face the new day.

That’s what he wanted to be able to do.

To always have a smile on his face. To be someone’s sunshine and supporter just like Venc was for Ivet and bába Mateev. Like he was for Joseph and his mother.

For his father. All the time, everyday.

Joseph wanted to be that amazing.

Pressing one last kiss, Joseph murmured as he stood “Ima get your clothes ready. You shower.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')


	89. Chapter 88

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> An entirely flashback chpt! Hope you guys like it. I think it came out good.  
> Ivo being not okay isn't a surprise to anyone is it? I've been dropping hints buuut some might have been too subtle. idk O.O
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> _“Don’t you ever fucking interfere again.”_

_Grabbing his phone from the cup holder, Ivo got out of his car from where he parked beside Venc. He was surprised that Venc was already here; it was barely six. He didn’t usually come so early. But generally, Ivo didn’t come this early either. However, he had some energy this morning and felt like he might as well put it to good use._

_Shooting off a text to Yulian to get his ass here, Ivo shut the door and locked his car. It wasn’t fair if he was early and Yulian wasn’t._

_A text came in only a second later. “Already on my way, asshat,” Ivo mocked in Yulian’s Jersey accent as he read it aloud. Yulian was against using language around or at anyone except to Ivo. People liked to think he was so proper and mannered. Ivo snorted, stuffing his phone in his pocket. “Yeah, okay. You guys shoulda met him when I did. Or just sit in when it’s only me and him. You’d have a different opinion about frat boy.”_

_Beginning to walk to the door of the garage, Ivo paused to wait when he noticed he wasn’t the only one here. But it was expected of Mr. Sunshine._

_“Good morning, my lord!” Asen called as he walked over from his own car. He was a few years younger than Ivo but already had a high position from Timotei’s days. Asen had been working for Timotei even before Ivo had; his father was one of the advisors._

_Ivo liked Asen._

_He didn’t like his father._

_“Morning,” he smiled when Asen made it over to him. “Looks like I almost beat you today. So close.”_

_Laughing, Asen replied “No offense, my lord, but you can’t beat me. I am made for early risings. I’m always here before anyone else.”_

_“And yet you’re always so chipper. Without coffee too. How do you do it?”_

_Shrugging while he laughed, he said “Who knows.”_

_Unlocking the back door that connected to the underground garage, they walked in. They headed down the hall to the stairs while making small talk. Once they reached the top of the stairs, Asen unlocked the next door into the side building of the casino._

_Home base._

_It was a little weird that the doors were still locked if Venc was here but Ivo didn’t think too much of it as they walked to the main stairwell._

_“And your wife is well?” He asked. Ivo always made it a point to learn about his people’s lives. Timotei had taught him to always be connected with the ones who he worked with. It was like keeping a family together._

_Also bonus blackmail shit should they turn traitor._

_“Fantastic, actually! The nurses say she was lucky with such an easy birth. My little girl is adorable, my lord. Her sister was more than happy to meet her and came to the same conclusion.”_

_“I’m sure it’s an appropriate one,” Ivo laughed as they walked up the stairs. “May both your daughters have blessed lives.”_

_“Thank you!” He smiled. Ivo noticed how Asen turned suddenly tense and nervous._

_While Ivo knew and asked all about their lives, his people all knew better then to ask about his. They knew that he wanted his family separate from the mob. It was unconventional and caused some disgruntled whispers but Ivo didn’t give a shit. Joseph and Vesela deserved as normal lives as possible._

_Only a few people actually knew Joseph’s name. He’d like it better if no one knew about him at all but things got out. When Timotei’s funeral had happened, they had gotten glimpses of his son. Not to mention when they had come to the house. Ivo wasn’t happy but it wasn’t like he was not going to let Joseph go and he definitely couldn’t close his house to people after Timotei’s funeral._

_They all knew Vesela though because she and Nikol had been involved because of their father. Timotei would allow them to come whenever they wanted. It was a way of keeping close with his daughters because being home wasn’t the easiest thing. When Ivo had married Vesela, he told her that he didn’t want her to come around anymore. Even Yulian had done the same when he had married Nikol._

_They didn’t want them in harm’s way._

_Clearing his throat, Asen asked carefully “How is your son?” He knew Joseph’s name but knew better than to say it._

_“Good,” he lied. The appropriate answer would’ve been ‘okay’ or ‘still functioning.’ But ‘good’ was suitable enough for a stranger. Well, Asen wasn’t a stranger but he was one to Joseph. He obviously didn’t know the mess that Joseph was. “More adorable than your daughter.”_

_Asen broke into raucous laughter; Ivo simply joined in with a smile. “I’d say prove it but truthfully, my lord, I don’t want to die for seeing your son.”_

_Now Ivo laughed. “If there is ever a day that anyone gets to see a picture of him, you will be the first.” Opening the door to the main room, he looked to Asen who was walking to go dismiss the guards home. “No death penalty,” he called after him._

_“Thank you, my lord,” Asen laughed._

_Still having a smile on his face, Ivo turned back to the room and walked in._

_Only to freeze a second later._

_“What the fuck…” he whispered. “What the holy fucks of all fucks.”_

_The room was completely pristine besides for the glaringly apparent array on the table. Also the body in the chair._

_Tied to the chair._

_Walking in slowly, Ivo flicked his eyes over the scene before him in complete shock. He prayed this wasn’t one of his men. He knew it had to be though. Why else would he be on display for someone to find? How the hell did this get passed the guards?_

_The body was missing some very important things._

_Mainly the head._

_The arms were gone but the legs were still tied to the feet of the chair. The person’s clothing was removed and his entire upper body was surgically opened for the world to see his insides._

_Except there wasn’t really any._

_They had all been removed. The body was just an empty cavity._

_Staring closer at the body, Ivo noted that the man had been castrated too. Turning from the body, he studied the layout on the table._

_Everything that had been removed was laid out as if it was some sort of dinner – nice and neat and ready for viewing. Every organ was there. Then there were body parts – genitals, fingers that had been cut off the hands that were beside them, arms that were separated from the hands. Ears, the tongue, the eyes…_

_That’s when Ivo reached the head. It may be missing important pieces but lord did he know that face._

_It was Venc._

_He froze in front of the head and stared._

_And stared._

_And…_

_Stared._

_That couldn’t be right. He was imagining things; hallucinating. Hell, he was probably just in a nightmare. Ivo was still asleep and this was all very not real._

_It couldn’t be real. He had just seen the idiot yesterday. They had laughed and joked and smiled and…_

_This wasn’t real. He was stuck in his stupid head. That’s all._

_That’s all._

_Sometimes his hallucinations or horrors would be a bit more lifelike than usual. That’s all this was._

_There was no body tied to a chair, there were no body parts and organs laid out like a spread on the table. There was no head sitting before him._

_Venc wasn’t dead. He was alive and at home, probably still snoring because his ass was lazy._

_This wasn’t real._

_“Dear God no…”_

_That was weird. Why was Yulian in his head? Timotei sure, but Yulian? That was weird._

_“No…”_

_Huh, he wasn’t going away? Ivo didn’t like Yulian being inside his mind. It wasn’t right._

_He jumped a little when there was a hand grasping his arm. Ivo turned and stared at Yulian. Even weirder. Usually the voices inside remained just that. Voices. None of them had ever manifested into actual physical beings before. Only the demons or terrors did that._

_“Yulian, why are you in my head?”_

_His brother-in-law’s eyes went huge, filled with a shit ton of confusion._

_Worry too._

_Huh…_

_“Ivo,” he said slowly. “Will you come outside with me?”_

_He blinked and tilted his head. “Outside? Like outside my mind? Is that possible?”_

_Yulian’s eyebrows drew together in thought. It was that look he got when he was analyzing a situation. “We’re going to go to another part. An empty part.”_

_“Oh.” Ivo contemplated this then asked “Why?”_

_“So we can talk. We’ll sit down-”_

_“On the floor?”_

_Nodding, Yulian smiled “On the floor. We’ll sit and just talk. Okay?”_

_Trying to turn back to look at the table, Ivo was stopped by fictional Yulian. He didn’t generally do what the older man told him to but faux Yulian seemed smarter than the regular one. He was trying to help this nightmare go away. Ivo always trusted Yulian’s words._

_Looking back to him, Ivo asked “We’re going?”_

_Resting his hand on Ivo’s shoulder, Yulian led him out of the room and shut the door behind them. They walked down the hall a bit before they came to another room. It was usually empty; they didn’t use it often. All it had was a table and a couple chairs. There were also a couple frames on the walls._

_They walked in and fake Yulian shut the door. Ivo sat on the floor like they were supposed to. Mythical Yulian sat down across from him. Why were their tears in his eyes? “Yulian, why are you crying? This is all fake. I’m just having a nightmare. It happens a lot – nightmares. I’m sorry you got stick in this one.”_

_He was shocked when phony Yulian gave this weird mixture of a cry and laugh. There was a touch of hysterics in it too. “Ivo,” his voice was horribly strangled._

_“Don’t worry, you’ll get out when I wake up. I’m sorry you got stuck in my head; I know it’s not a very nice place.” He wasn’t the type to apologize but he felt like it was fair right now. Wishing the horrors of his mind on someone was never something he’d do. Even to Yulian._

_“Usually, I can get it to be quiet but I guess it didn’t feel like it today. Don’t worry,” he repeated, “It’ll all be over when I wake up. Then everything will be back to normal.” Normal was nice. It was so much less messy than the insides of his brain._

_Imaginary Yulian took his hands in his, his face broken by sadness. “Ivo,” he whispered, “Ivo, you’re awake.”_

_Ivo laughed at illusionary Yulian’s stupidity. It seemed this Yulian was as stupid as the other one. “No I’m not. I’m sleeping. Still in bed.” Or at least stuck in my head, he added to himself._

_Tears started to run from his eyes. “I swear to God you’re awake. I swear on everything. You. Are. Awake. This is real.”_

_Something started to tick in his brain but Ivo didn’t want to latch onto it. “Stop. I’m not awake. I know the difference.” He usually figured it out just fine. There wasn’t anything wrong with him._

_Huffing in frustration, counterfeit Yulian grabbed his shoulders tight and said steadily “You are awake. This is not a nightmare. Ivo, this is real. What you saw is very very real.”_

_“Prove it,” he challenged. This was getting ridiculous. His brain played nasty tricks on him but this was new. It was never this complicated before. Usually the line wasn’t so blurry._

_The man in front of him gave a small hysteric laugh in reply. Removing his hands and leaning on them, he asked “What never happens in your head?”_

_There was always one thing that never happened._

_He never got hurt._

_Ivo had to watch everyone he loved and cared for either die or suffer in thousands of different ways while he wasn’t allowed to help. All he could do was watch and then wake up with the guilt that he was still alive and injury free._

_“I always come out scott-free. No matter what.”_

_Nodding slowly, fictitious Yulian pulled out his knife. It was beautiful and Ivo loved it. He didn’t believe in regret but there were days that he regretted giving it to him. It was one of four Ivo had brought with him from Bulgaria. His brother-in-law had saved his life and Ivo wanted to show his gratefulness._

_So, he gave it to him. Yulian had treasured it ever since._

_“Gimme your arm.”_

_Shrugging, he surrendered his arm after rolling up his sleeve. He wasn’t worried; nothing was going to happen. This was all in his head._

_Flicking the knife open, knockoff Yulian held Ivo’s hand and very slowly with the sharp blade slit a cut about two inches along Ivo’s arm._

_Ivo’s breathing picked up fast when he noticed the blood beginning to well in the shallow wound. “No, no, no, no…” He stared with wide eyes at the cut. “No, no,” he shook his head vehemently. “This is just a new way for my brain to fuck with me. This isn’t real. This isn’t real.”_

_His heart beat was picking up fast and his hands began to shake. Tears were welling in his eyes as he began to hysterically laugh. Tears streamed down his face and he bit his lip as hard as he could. He could taste the bled welling there too._

_Hyperventilating, he looked back up to Yulian. It was Yulian. The real Yulian._

_Ivo was awake. Everything so far today had been real._

_That was really Vencislav on the table._

_“I’m awake,” he whispered._

_“This is real.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')


	90. Chapter 89

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> Anyone miss Emilio? How about Andrey? Maybe Nikolai?  
> Well they're all here  
> Bonus Alondra  
> Bonus violence  
> Bonus bromance tension (not good kind)
> 
> It's a pretty big chpt. Enjoy!
> 
> _“They forgot about the monster that’s going to come for them.”_

Emilio sat beside his friend in silence on the deck stairs in the backyard. They had all come back from the funeral and everyone was just sitting somewhere, lost in their own thoughts. Joseph had wanted the peacefulness of the spring air, so Emilio joined him.

Resting his head on his friend’s shoulder, Emilio thought about this week. It’d been incredibly difficult. His father had told them at breakfast the day after Venc had died. All of them had taken it really hard; even abuela. Everyone loved the amazing person he was.

Mrs. Kavinsky had told them that they were more than welcome to come to the funeral. So go they did; there was no way any of them wanted to miss it. Emilio and his family hadn’t been close to the proceedings though – they wanted to give everyone the space they needed. Also they didn’t know the prayer that was said and they didn’t want to be all awkward and silent.

Like with Mr. Dobrev, the house was open for those who wanted to pass their condolences. A lot of people were already here; the funeral had been packed. Venc was popular with everyone in the mob except some of the older guys.

Johanna and her brother had been at the funeral. Her tears had never stopped and her brother looked lost in his sadness. Emilio couldn’t help but notice the looks that Mr. Kavinsky and Mr. Yulian kept giving them. Even the other guy that Joseph had told him was named Asen. The guy had later introduced himself while giving furtive glances at Mr. Kavinsky like he wasn’t supposed to be talking to them.

The guy seemed nice though. Both Emilio and Joseph liked the sunshiney man.

Joseph rested his head atop Emilio’s. They both picked up their heads and turned to the door a moment later when the screen opened.

Andrey gave a half smile and walked over to them, sitting beside his cousin. “Hi, guys.”

“Hey,” they both answered in quiet tones.

He felt bad for Andrey; his birthday had been yesterday but obviously no one was in the mood to celebrate. They had all wished him a happy birthday and had given him gifts but even he wasn’t feeling it. There was no party or anything; they had just hung out in his room.

They sat silently until Joseph asked “How’s bába doing?”

“She fell asleep in the guest room,” Andrey answered. “Mayko and your mom are keeping an eye on her.”

“Ivet?” Emilio inquired. It had been hard facing her knowing that Venc was gone and that he had to pass condolences to her. She had been a mess when he saw her. It looked like she had been crying for months.

Sadness was laced in Andrey’s voice, “In the upstairs guest room with your sisters…she’s not doing so great…”

Continuing on with their silence, they sat like that for awhile, just watching the world. Someone opened the door for Peanut as she came trotting out to them, curling herself behind Joseph.

Emilio was amazed at how well Joseph was doing. When he had mentioned it to him, his friend’s face took on a horribly sad smile and said “Venc would want us to remember the good stuff, not the bad. So I gotta be strong just like mayko is.”

“Emilio.”

He turned to his mother’s voice as she stuck her head out of the door. “Mijo, do you think you can watch Alondra?”

“Of course,” he smiled. Standing, he walked to his mother and took his sister in his arms. His fears about being an older brother had been silly; he was great at this. Or at least, he thought so. Alondra always seemed to agree. He was her favorite.

Walking back to his friends, he asked “Can we sit on the grass? I don’t want Alondra on the stairs.” All he needed was for her to tumble down or something.

Both of them nodded as they stood and walked down the remaining stairs, Emilio and Alondra in tow. He placed her in the grass where they sat and carefully watched her petting Peanut. She was still too little to be around animals by herself. Also she had this weird tendency to try and eat grass.

“Albena is gonna turn one soon,” Andrey said, trying to make some conversation. His sister was adorable with her huge blue eyes and the dirty blonde hair of her father.

Alondra was cuter of course. How could someone not love her dimples and huge smile?

However, he could do without her violence. His youngest sister liked to hit; it was the highlight of her day when she hurt someone. She’d always fall into a hysteric of giggles.

Maybe she’d be a fighter like Johanna when she grew.

Joseph smiled as he picked up the conversation. “Yeah, three more months, huh? She’s cuter than you, just so you know.”

Rolling her eyes, Andrey muttered “I don’t think I’m ugly.”

“I didn’t say you were ugly, stupid. I said she’s cuter. That implies that while you’ve got some looks, she’s got better.”

Emilio thought about this for a minute. Andrey did look nice, not as nice as Joseph but nice. Those ears of his were something else but other that, he looked good. He’d probably end up pretty handsome when he grew. Were all Bulgarians just naturally attractive? All the ones he had met so far all had something going for them.

It was a stupid question but he thought he might as well go for it. If anything, he’d put smiles on his friends’ faces. “So question.” Andrey and Joseph looked to him expectantly. “Are all Bulgarians good looking? Is it like a thing that you guys have natural good looks? Like both girls and guys always look nice.”

The cousins laughed. Taking up the question, Joseph answered “I’ve seen some ugly ones. I don’t think it really applies to everyone. Andrey’s cousin is super weird.”

“He’s so funky looking,” Andrey snorted. “He’s worse than my ears.”

“Don’t be nasty,” Mr. Yulian called as he walked over to them. He was chastising but he had a smile on his face. He must know who Andrey and Joseph were talking about. “And your ears are fine.”

“Yeah, okay,” Andrey muttered. “Why did I get the big ears? You didn’t.”

Rubbing an ear in an affectionate way, Mr. Yulian replied “Because I’m luckier.” He crouched beside them and asked “Anyone hungry? Someone brought food. It’s good. I tasted it, no worries.”

“Can we eat outside?” Joseph asked. “I don’t won’t to be around so much people.”

Shrugging as he poked Alondra in the nose, Mr. Yulian said “Sure. Shouldn’t be an issue. Come and see what you guys would like.” He started laughing when she tried to bite off his finger. “Violent.”

“She’s really nasty,” Emilio smiled. “She’ll eat you if she could.”

They all started laughing when Alondra gave him a nasty look. She was smart and understood what they said but she preferred not to talk much even though she knew how. Emilio had worried but his mother had told him that it was fine and normal. She stuck out her tongue in reply to their laughter.

Mr. Yulian gently shoved her down into the grass onto her back with a smile on his face. Children always seemed to put him in a good mood.

Alondra shrieked and sat back up immediately, a nasty glare on her face to which they all responded with laughs. Getting to her feet and with grass in her now messy dark mop of hair, she tried to tackle Mr. Yulian to the floor.

She obviously wasn’t successful in taking down the six foot man who chuckled at her attempt and then hung her upside down from his shoulder. “I think I got you.”

Peeking around Mr. Yulian’s back, Alondra’s face was flush with both anger and laughter. She couldn’t decide if she was mad or not. “Em!”

“Nope! You brought his wrath upon yourself,” he laughed. “Tackling a mobster won’t get you anywhere.” His sister didn’t know what exactly a mobster was but she knew it applied to Andrey and Joseph’s fathers. Emilio wondered what she equated it with in their qualities and what she thought made a mobster.

“Help!” She huffed in frustration. Batting her lashes at Joseph who responded with a giggle, she asked sweetly “Help?” Alondra shrieked in delight when Mr. Yulian swung her up and down back onto the grass. Jumping up, she yelled “Again!”

Laughing, Mr. Yulian replied as he stood “Nope, sorry. You enjoyed it too much.” Ignoring Alondra’s huff, he looked to boys and asked “Food?”

“Yup,” Andrey replied as he stood up with Joseph following suit.

Standing and picking up Alondra, Emilio followed after the cousins to the house.They tried their best to be as inconspicuous as possible as to not bother. He smiled while Alondra waved happily to their father who was sitting on one side of Mr. Kavinsky. The other side was empty so Emilio figured that Mr. Yulian had been sitting there.

Mr. Kavinsky was currently a mystery to Emilio. The first thing his father had told him when they reached the cemetery was to stay away from him. To not give condolences or speak to him at all unless Mr. Kavinsky did himself. Emilio thought that was completely odd. It got even weirder when Mr. Yulian repeated to them the exact same thing.

Something wasn’t okay with the mobster and Emilio was genuinely worried. It wasn’t like when Mr. Dobrev had died. Then you could see the grief and the way Mr. Kavinsky was soldiering through. Now with Venc it was completely different. It was like nothing happened because he wasn’t sad or upset.

He was just…

Nothing.

There were absolutely no emotions running through him. Mr. Kavinsky would just stare at someone until they would shut up and leave him alone. The only people he would open his mouth for was Emilio’s father, Mr. Yulian, Mrs. Kavinsky, and Joseph. Sometimes he’d say a word to Asen too.

But that was it.

Joseph’s father was definitely not okay.

Even now, he just sat with that blank look on his face staring at nothing as Mr. Yulian sat back down beside him.

Walking to the kitchen, they took in the food that was brought and decided on what they wanted. Joseph did Emilio’s plate for him because his hands were full of Alondra who was dying for something in her own hands.

“Em,” she whined while struggling in his arms, trying to reach a fork.

“You can’t eat forks, silly.” He grabbed her a cucumber from the salad and handed it to her itty bitty hands, “Here. Enjoy.” She squealed happily and took the vegetable, shoving it in her mouth. He didn’t pay attention when the bell rang and someone walked in. People had been walking in and out since they came back.

“The fuck is he doing here…” Asen muttered in worry under his breath. He had been getting water when the door had opened and was beside the boys.

The three of them turned their heads to see whoever had walked in that warranted such a reaction.

It was Mr. Nikolai.

No one must have seen him after he had been fired because the room went silent. They all simply stared at the newcomer. What freaked out Emilio was Mr. Kavinsky. The man had no emotions at all today. Probably hadn’t for days. But right now?

He was smiling in utter glee.

“Oh. Oh, my, my, my,” he laughed as he stood. Mr. Yulian was watching his movements carefully. “Is that Nikolai? Oh, it is. Why hello!”

Even Mr. Nikolai who had known Mr. Kavinsky since Mr. Dobrev did looked worried. He seemed almost confused. “Ivo,” he nodded. He nodded to the rest of the room, “Gentlemen and women.”

“My lord,” Asen said.

“I’m sorry?” Nikolai turned to look at him.

“He is your lord and that is how he is to be addressed.”

The older man laughed “Of course! My apologies. I did not intend to offend. I still see _your lord_ as the boy I met many years ago who could barely string together a sentence in English.”

Mr. Nikolai’s eyes caught on Joseph. “My, you look more like your father with every passing day! How are you, Joseph? Starting the business soon, I hope? Vencislav started around your age. You should follow in his steps.”

Joseph didn’t look like he wanted to answer but it didn’t matter anyways because Emilio had never seen Mr. Kavinsky move so fast as his hand clasped around Mr. Nikolai’s throat in a matter of seconds. He slammed his head down onto the island and hissed “Don’t you dare speak to him. Stay the fuck away from my child, you piece of shit.”

The hand was getting tighter by the second as Mr. Nikolai tried hard to pry it off. Emilio was surprised that not a single person was moving to do anything besides for the detective.

His dad came up fast and tried to pull Mr. Kavinsky off. “Ivo, dammit, let go.” He tried prying of the fingers that were squeezing Mr. Nikolai’s windpipe shut. “Ivo, you’re going to kill him, let go.”

“No loss,” he hissed in reply as he squeezed harder. Mr. Nikolai scrabbled helplessly, trying hard to get air back to his lungs. Emilio prayed he wasn’t going to see someone die today.

Grabbing Mr. Kavinsky’s arms tight, his father tried to rip them off. When that wouldn’t work, he went for the next best thing and punched Joseph’s father hard in the gut. This had two effects.

The first was that Mr. Kavinsky let go to clutch his stomach as he choked on the air knocked out of him.

The second was absolutely terrifying to Emilio. Probably to Joseph and Andrey too.

Guns were pointed in less than a millisecond at his father. Any man in the room who had one aimed it at his dad. Even Mr. Yulian had his out.

Emilio’s heart stopped beating as safeties were clicked off.

Freezing in place, his father turned slowly to face Mr. Yulian, hands slightly raised. Mr. Nikolai slid to the floor and was coughing and heaving heavily as he tried to get back some oxygen into his system. Joseph’s father was still doubled over although Emilio was more than sure that he was fine.

“You need to step away from him,” Mr. Yulian said. “Back up, Raul.”

He was utterly impressed by how calm his father was. “You cannot blame me for doing my job. I’m not going to watch him murder someone.”

“And you can’t blame me for doing mine,” Mr. Yulian replied in all seriousness. Emilio briefly wondered if it ever came to it, would he shoot? Could he bring himself to shoot a friend? “Part of my job is making sure my lord comes to no harm. You harmed, regardless of the reason. Step away.”

Mr. Kavinsky straightened and the blank look was back on his face. He said something to the room in Bulgarian. Emilio would ask Joseph or Andrey later but he figured it was along the lines of ‘lower your weapons’ or something because in a second the guns were down.

Down but not put away.

“Raul,” Joseph’s father murmured.

Turning although Emilio was pretty sure he was reluctant to put the guns to his back, his father looked to Mr. Kavinsky.

And was punched hard in the face not a moment later. Emilio was sure he actually heard a crack.

“Don’t you ever fucking interfere again.”

His father stood straight and held his bleeding nose. Anger was flashing through his eyes as he hissed “Then the next time you try to fucking murder someone in front of me, I’ll just arrest you for it. I am your friend but I will never be your free pass. Don’t think otherwise.”

Annoyance broke through the mask. “I’m not stopping you, detective.” He flicked a glance around the room and the guns were returned to wherever these men had pulled them out of. Mr. Yulian was the last to return his to the back of his waistband.

Mr. Kavinsky then turned to Mr. Nikolai and dragged him to his feet. The smile and joy were back. “You’re welcome to leave now. But if you run, you’re going to look even guiltier than I already know you are.”

Emilio was surprised by the amount of fear that come out of Mr. Nikolai’s voice. “Y-You’re confused, my lord. I’m not sure what people have led you to believe but whatever it is-”

“Is the truth,” Mr. Kavinsky interrupted. “You and I will see each other again very soon, dear traitor. Should you try disappearing, I will find you. Should I happen to not find you? I know where every single part of your family live. Wife. Children. Grandchildren. I’ll let them take your place.”

“Please no,” Mr. Nikolai whispered. “Ivo, listen to yourself. You’re grieving, you are not thinking right. Your mind-”

“Is perfectly fucking fine,” Joseph’s father snarled. “There isn’t anything wrong with it.”

His gaze caught on Mr. Yulian who had moved closer during all the talking. Emilio noticed how the man’s face turned completely blank when Mr. Kavinsky said that. A normal person would say that didn’t mean anything.

But the son of the detective knew that his face was blank because he was hiding a reaction. And if he had to hide it, it meant that it was huge.

Which meant that Mr. Yulian completely disagreed with the statement. He knew otherwise.

Maybe Mr. Kavinsky wasn’t okay in other ways than just grief? There was absolutely no one that Emilio could ask though. He could try talking about it with his father.

He’d give it a shot when they got home.

“I’m going to cut them up into little pieces; like breaking down an animal,” Mr. Kavinsky continued. He laughed and added “Hell, maybe I’ll make a beautiful spread with all their parts and pieces and lay it out on a table for you to find. I’ll return the favor.”

“Return the favor…” Joseph whispered. His eyes went wide as he murmured “That’s what they did to Venc, isn’t it…”

Emilio’s stomach churned. He had been told privately by his father that torture had been involved. That was the extent though. Nothing more.

Mr. Kavinsky caught the words and turned his freakish expression to Joseph. “That’s exactly what they did. Cut him up while he was alive, piece by piece. Cut him open and took out everything that’s not supposed to be in the open air. Made him suff-”

“Enough,” Mr. Yulian interrupted. “Ivo, stop. They don’t need to hear it.”

He laid a careful hand on Mr. Kavinsky’s shoulder and murmured something ever so quietly into his ear in Bulgarian. Emilio wondered if Joseph or Andrey caught what was said. Whatever it was caused the smile to disappear and a look of awareness suddenly come through. Whatever had been said reached through to the coherent part of his brain. Mr. Kavinsky looked back to them with the start of tears in his eyes. He released Mr. Nikolai and made his way to the stairs, going up to, Emilio figured, his room.

What just happened, he didn’t know but he really wished he could find out. Mr. Yulian turned to Mr. Nikolai and said “I advise to stay where you can be found.”

Despite the fact that he had been saved twice today, Mr. Nikolai was still angry and defiant. Looking to all in the room, he said “You all follow a sick man. He is not in his right mind and never has been since the day I met him. You’re going to follow a crazy man straight to hell. If I were any of you, I’d remove him before he tears down all that has been built and accomplished.”

“We’re all going to hell anyways,” Mr. Yulian laughed. “Might as well have a friend there. For that matter, everyone is going to face death, Nikolai. At least none of us will die a traitor.”

“Something you will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')


	91. Chapter 90

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> Ramadan Kareem to any of my fellow Muslims out there! I hope you have a very wonderful blessed month!
> 
> This chpt is legit just Joseph and Yulian and conversation. Interesting conversation. Or at least I think so...
> 
> Enjoy and I'll see y'all Tuesday where there are talks of torture!
> 
> _“Sorry but no. It’s the type of stuff that’ll give you nightmares.”_

_“You’re going to follow a crazy man straight to hell.”_

Joseph couldn’t get what Nikolai had said out of his mind. Sure, it was insulting to his father and incredibly mean and rude. That wasn’t really the issue here. That wasn’t why it was stuck in his head.

What made it stick was that it was believable.

He could truly believe that there was something not okay going on in his father’s mind.

It was late and the only people left in the house that didn’t live here were his Tétka’s family. He had really wanted Emilio to stay longer but Mr. Vidal said that they had to get going. After they had fought, Mr. Vidal had stayed a bit icy towards Joseph’s father.

His father had joined everyone once again about an hour later. Joseph hadn’t been able to hear what his tetíncho had said, but whatever it had been had caused his father to spend his time in tears. There was no way anyone couldn’t tell that his father had been crying. He had come back with eyes red and puffy. The odd demeanor he had been in all week had shattered.

Only for now. Joseph felt like it’d be a long while until his father was himself again.

Going downstairs, Joseph looked around for his tetíncho. Ever since the day they had spent together, Joseph felt incredibly at ease with his uncle. Right now, Joseph needed the man’s thoughts.

His father was still dressed in the suit he had worn to the funeral, minus the jacket. He was asleep on the couch, his head pillowed in his wife’s lap. Joseph’s mother would run her fingers through his hair every few minutes as she talked with his Tétka who was sitting on the opposite couch. Albena was asleep in the guest room that Andrey and Anka were watching tv in.

Tetíncho Yulian had taken Ivet and bába home. They had all wanted them to stay here but bába said she needed to be in her home where she could still feel the presence of her grandson. She needed to savor it before it was gone. Ivet hadn’t said a word, but then she hadn’t spoken since she had found out about Venc.

“Tétka?” he whispered as he interrupted. He was quiet because he didn’t want to wake his father; he needed every second of sleep he could get. “Where’s tetíncho?”

Her eyes went wide at his question. Joseph had to agree with her surprise – it wasn’t something he’d normally ask. “Outside. Said he needed some air. The front.”

“Thanks,” Joseph murmured as he walked to the front door. Opening the door and walking out, Joseph joined his aunt’s husband on the last step after closing the door behind himself.

The silence remained until Joseph murmured “Tetíncho?”

“Yes, Joseph.” He didn’t turn to look; his gaze remained on the empty dark street. He was probably lost somewhere in his thoughts.

Swallowing down his nervousness, Joseph asked “Tatko’s not okay, is he?”

No movement happened for a good five minutes. Eventually, his tetíncho looked at him, his piercing gaze examining. “I don’t think so, no.”

Picking up the silence himself as he gathered his thoughts, Joseph whispered after some minutes passed “He’s crazy, isn’t he.”

“No, he’s not crazy. Mentally ill, maybe. But not crazy. Having a mental illness does not make someone crazy, Joseph. Don’t ever think that.”

Thinking on this, Joseph wanted to agree but he couldn’t. Because now every time he looked at his father, all he could see was crazy. Not mentally ill. “He seems pretty crazy to me.”

“Not crazy,” tetíncho repeated. “There’s nothing wrong with a person who is not okay mentally, Joseph. They just need a little extra understanding from us all. A little extra kindness and for some people, a little extra help.”

“You already knew.”

Stretching out his long legs, tetíncho Yulian looked back out to the street. “I don’t know anything.”

“But you assumed.”

“You didn’t?”

“I’m a child.”

A snort erupted from his conversation partner. “In age only. You’re too smart and inquisitive to not work your brain and figure stuff out.”

Joseph fell silent. Assumed his father was mentally ill? No, he never did. Think that maybe sometimes something was weird or wrong? Yes.

But he hadn’t made the connection until Nikolai so helpfully pointed it out.

He wondered if his mother ever assumed anything.

“The first time he said dyádo was haunting him, I thought it was a joke.” Biting his lip, he whispered “He actually hears him, doesn’t he?”

“Obviously, I’m not in his head but…I think he does. I think he hears and sees quite a lot of things that we don’t. I think that when he’s talking to himself, he’s not actually doing that. Or at least, not all the time.”

“He’s talking to someone,” Joseph supplied. “Having a conversation.”

“Maybe.”

“How come you never told anyone that you think he’s sick?”

“Not my place,” he answered. “I will say though, that about a couple years after I’d known your father, I told Timotei that I thought he wasn’t entirely okay. Your dyádo got angry and told me that extending my jealousy to the point of fabricating lies was low and that I should be ashamed of myself. I never brought it up after that.”

“You weren’t lying.”

“You’re the only who’s ever going to believe me. I’ve gotten used to being seen as the untrustworthy outsider. It’s easier just doing my job and keeping my mouth shut. Surprisingly, the only person who fully trusts me is your father.”

Stretching out his own legs which definitely weren’t long, Joseph thought about this. He always knew his grandfather favored his father over his tetíncho. Joseph didn’t know why but he knew it was true. And he knew that his father trusted tetíncho Yulian a lot. “I thought the mob advisors like you better.”

Laughing, tetíncho Yulian muttered “They don’t like either of us. But they think that they can manipulate me in a way that they can’t with you father. That’s why they were hoping I’d be in charge.”

Scrunching his nose, Joseph replied “Don’t they know by now that you’re as stubborn as a jackass?” He slapped his hand on his mouth when he realized what he just said and who he had said it to. Bad time for that simile.

But instead of chastisement, his tetíncho surprised him with laughter. “They aren’t as smart as you. Apology accepted, by the way. You’re good.”

“Sorry,” he muttered. “I meant it in a good way.”

Joseph earned himself another laugh. “If you say so.”

“Do…do you think mayko assumes?”

Adjusting his position, tetíncho murmured “What I’ve come to notice is that even when people know something is wrong, they prefer to ignore it. Especially when it comes to things such as mental illness. They think it’s the worst thing in the world.”

That made no sense to Joseph. “But if you know someone is sick, wouldn’t it be better to get them help? To make sure that they’ll be okay?”

A small smile came on the older man’s face. “You’re going to be a wonderful young man when you grow.” Joseph wasn’t sure where his uncle was jumping but he appreciated the compliment. “And I agree. But not everyone does. That includes your mother and my wife. Maybe your father; I’m not entirely sure about him.”

“So…so let’s assume that he isn’t okay…” Joseph gnawed his lip as he lowered his voice in his worry “He’s not gonna get any help? Mayko won’t tell him anything or maybe he won’t think he needs anything?”

He assumed his tetíncho was thinking from how long the silence stretched. Joseph was about to ask again when finally he said “I think that if he were ever going to get help should he need it…it’ll be because I somehow blackmail him into it.”

Joseph didn’t like the sound of that. That made it sound like there would be no help coming. “If you have to blackmail him, he probably would have murdered you before you even got the chance. He won’t let you hold something over him.”

Snorting, his tetíncho replied “Ain’t that the truth.”

He decided to dive in on something else bothering him. “What’d you say to him?”

Staring at him for a second, his tetíncho asked “To your father?” Joseph nodded. “Well…one is that I reminded him about something… Two is that you guys were standing. That you guys didn’t need to see someone get murdered nor did you guys need to hear a load of horrors. I reminded him that he never wanted you to have to see the types of things he’s had to…”

“None of that woulda made him cry.” Joseph couldn’t believe that only a few years ago, he didn’t even believe that his father could cry. That his father had actual feelings. “Maybe make him think, but not cry.”

“I told him not to disappoint Venc.”

Stillness settled upon him. “Disappoint?”

Nodding, his tetíncho said “Venc would never want any of you to have to see your father kill someone. And I reminded him that he was disrespecting his memory by acting the way he was on his funeral day.”

“Oh,” he whispered. “That would do it.” His father was feeling guilty as it was not to lay that on him.

They fell into a comfortable silence. With no more conversation taking his thoughts, Joseph enjoyed the fresh night air with his uncle. It was nice actually. He didn’t understand why he always thought his tetíncho was so off putting or hard to talk to. It was like having a conversation with Emilio; it was so easy and comfortable. He realized as he sat longer that he had another question that needed talking out.

“Tetíncho? If Nikolai is a traitor, why did tatko let him go?”

Yawning, he answered “There’s no ‘if.’ Nikolai _is_ a traitor. One of the worst and, to be honest, I never saw it coming. Of all people, I never thought Nikolai would turn against the empire he helped build. But then…maybe that’s why. He’s bitter that it’s not his or that he’s not even a part of it anymore.”

Stretching and undoing a couple buttons from his shirt, tetíncho Yulian rubbed his neck as he continued. “And he let him go for one very simple reason. Your father loves the chase. He enjoys the fear he puts in a person when they find him waiting for them.”

“Nikolai’s one of the three,” Joseph mostly said to himself.

Turning to look at him, his uncle asked “Three?”

Nodding, Joseph replied “The first night when Mr. Vidal brought him home, he said he’s got three people on his hit list. And two who are going to suffer – he may or may not kill them. Nikolai must be on the hit list.”

“I think I know who everyone else is.”

Curiosity ate at him. “You gonna share?”

Smiling with amusement, tetíncho Yulian replied “As much as I enjoy our very intellectual conversations, there is a line that I’ll draw. Telling you the people who are going to be tortured to death happens to be across the line.”

“Please tetíncho? It’ll be like a gift or something.”

“Oh? Did I miss some achievement?”

Sighing, Joseph muttered “Well, I probably would have made the baseball team this year.”

“I thought tryouts are this coming week.”

“They are,” he sighed. “But I’m not gonna do it. I don’t think right now is the best time. There’s always next year.”

“Very mature of you but then I guess I shouldn’t expect any less.”

Playing with the beads of his bracelet from Emilio, Joseph tried again. “Soo…”

“How much has your eavesdropping achieved?”

Face going horribly red, Joseph stuttered “I-I’ve no clue what you’re talking about.”

Making a face of utter amusement, his aunt’s husband snorted “I have Andrey at home, Joseph.”

Giving in, Joseph muttered “Fine. I know that there’s probably something with Russians involved and that maybe Germans on account of Johanna and Daniel. Also, now that I know Nikolai is a traitor, I’m assuming he’s the new player.”

“Very good,” tetíncho Yulian nodded. “Now try and put the pieces together. How do they fit? Use everything you know. Even the most mundane detail.”

“Together?” he murmured to himself. Sitting in thought, Joseph tried to put together all that he knew. He must have all the pieces already if all he had to do was piece it into one.

Johanna and Daniel were German. Daniel knew who his father was, hence Johanna probably knew too. Their parents plus Daniel live in New York. In Brighton Beach which apparently was like a little Russia. The siblings’ parents had lived in Russia for awhile… They were a German business family. Business and mobs generally went well together. His father and Venc had been playing a game with them all, trying to win out.

They must have been close to winning if Venc was killed.

Killed by Russians maybe?

Both Johanna and Daniel had looked guilty when they came to the funeral. Not to the extent where the average person could tell but Joseph wasn’t the average person. He could read it.

“The Russians of Brighton killed Venc. Germans are somehow involved…” He couldn’t latch the last pieces together.

“Good. Keep going. Make it solid.”

Scratching his head and scrunching his face in thought, Joseph tried to make the connections. He thought about all the times he had seen the siblings. “Johanna looked weird when she introduced herself the first time. Like she had to think what her name was. She was nervous… Daniel expects respect. Why? He must have some kind of high position… Their family works with the Russians of New York. Daniel will probably inherit whatever the business is.”

Face filled with approval, tetíncho encouraged him on. “Well done. Keep going.”

“Johanna really loved Venc; I could tell. Maybe when her family found out about the boy she was dating…they used it to their advantage? Like maybe she went home and said I met this great guy and…what? They knew his name? That makes sense. The Russians would for sure know who Lord Kavinsky’s assistant is. Nikolai would fit in really good here. Maybe he sold out Venc to them; he never liked him. It didn’t help when he was fired only to be replaced by the boy he hated. So…then they tell Johanna that they wanna play Venc somehow? Use him to fuck over the Bulgarians?”

“Bad word usage but you’re getting closer.”

Smiling, Joseph appreciated not getting in trouble. “Tatko and Venc found out about them during winter break. Well, Venc did then told tatko in January. It’s March. Within the little more than a month, the Russians found out that they know. Venc’s death is either a way to provoke action or a threat. They’re showing that they aren’t afraid.”

But why? Joseph thought harder. His brains gears were going on hyper drive. Mildly aching too. “Maybe the whole point of the whole endeavor was to gain territory, contacts, or supplies. Thought that they could get to the mob by using who they thought was just a stupid teenager with his first girlfriend. They didn’t think that he was smarter than all of them combined. And when they did…they killed him.”

Pride was written all over his uncle’s face, accompanied with a huge smile. “Now you know the why. So, who are the who and what huge mistake did they make?”

The who. It was the Russians but his tetíncho seemed to think Joseph could break it down more. Could he? Who would have the job of taking out a threat? An enforcer would. A high up one, maybe, because Venc was a very important person to the Bulgarian lord.

_“Brighton’s are fucking annoying and an enormous pain in the ass. Not to mention the old man’s second freaks me the fuck out.”_

_He looked at his father in surprise. “You’re afraid of him?”_

_Head popping up, his father protested “I’m not afraid. I said he freaks me out. The dude is fucking weird, alright? He’s like ginormasaur and fu-cking huuuge. But not like fat huge, muscled huge. I mean, I’m tall but this fucker? Holy shit. It’s unnatural.”_

“The Russian head’s second. He killed Venc.”

“Very good. But he doesn’t act without orders.”

“The three are Nikolai, the Russian head, and his second. Tatko will save the enforcer for last because he’s the one who actively killed Venc.”

“Your brain is impressive,” tetíncho Yulian complimented. “Now impress me more. What mistake did they make? How did they horribly fuck up?”

He was surprised by the language but Joseph wasn’t going to say anything. “Killing Venc, obviously.”

“Yes. But why is that such a problem? He works for your father, that’s what they know. He’s a boy with a very high position. You already determined it was supposed to be provoking or a threat. That they’re showing that they’re not afraid. What did they forget?”

Two things clicked in his brain. “They forgot how personal killing Venc would be. It’s like they killed family; it’s beyond politics now. And because it’s so personal, it’s hitting tatko harder than it would normally had it been anyone else. He’s angrier, he’s more hateful, he wants them to suffer worse than Venc did. And he’ll see it through.”

Tetíncho Yulian nodded and gestured for him to continue. “They forgot that they should be very afraid. They still think they’re playing a game of political intrigue. That rules will be followed and obeyed; they won’t be though. Because it’s so horribly personal. There are no rules when family is harmed.”

“They forgot about the monster that’s going to come for them.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')


	92. Chapter 91

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> Why are there two chpts some may be wondering. Well my friends, there are two because your fellow amazing reader Goldfish's birthday was yesterday! Happy Birthday bruh, hope you had an awesome one! Enjoy your birthday gift ^.^
> 
> So it seems this chpt is freaking HUGE. 4255 words. Like whoa Sam, you didn't want to stop apparently. I hope you guys enjoy! I think it coulda been a little more gorey? But I think it's awesome anyways. Hope you guys agree
> 
> _“You look worse than just regular shit. More like diarrhetic shit.”_

Yulian sat and stared at the ceiling of the E.R. His heart was beating hundreds of miles an hour and his stomach was bubbling with worry. He sent constant prayers to God as he sat that everything would turn out okay. He hadn’t felt this panicked since that fateful night he had hit the man with his car.

That day hadn’t ended well.

He prayed that this one would be different.

Tapping his foot upon the floor as he waited, Yulian closed his eyes and tried to breath. Breathing always helped calm a person.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

It wasn’t working.

Breathing never seemed to work for pregnant women either.

“Yulian?”

Opening his eyes slowly, he lifted his head off the back of the most uncomfortable chair in the world and looked into the face of Claudia. He completely forgot that she was a nurse. Did she start going back to work? _Obviously. She’s in scrubs you idiot._

“Claudia,” he smiled the most unfeeling smile he ever had. It was worse than the ones he gave Ivo when he was pissed at him. It wasn’t because of Claudia, he just wasn’t feeling it.

Her face took on complete concern as she sat down beside him. That wasn’t good; it meant conversation. “Is everything okay?”

“Oh yes,” he laughed sarcastically, “I just enjoy sitting in the emergency room for fun. Watch the sights and all that lovely shit.”

A smile eclipsed onto her face as she said “Well, Ivo isn’t the only one with a nasty mouth, is he? Someone’s just been hiding.”

Blowing out a huff, he muttered “Sorry.” The last thing he needed was to be compared to the asshole.

“Someone hurt?”

Hurt was an understatement. A very very large understatement. “You could say that.”

Beginning to look annoyed, Claudia said “If you don’t want to tell me, then simply say so. Don’t make me drag every word out for no reason. Let me not waste my time or yours.”

Sighing and slouching in this stupid chair, Yulian murmured “Ivo.”

Nodding, she asked “Something go bad?”

He knew she was hinting at business. And technically speaking, you could say yes because it was mobster-ish. But really this had nothing to do with business.

It was personal.

_Buttoning his jeans, Yulian glanced over at his phone as it rang on the nightstand. Walking over, he read the name and opened the line. “What.”_

_There was silence before Ivo’s voice came through. Yulian knew something was wrong the minute he heard it. “I kinda need you.”_

_“Ivo, what’s wrong?” It had been a few weeks since Vencislav had been murdered and during that time, Ivo was far from himself. Not even close. Yulian made sure to keep a close eye on him. But right now?_

_He sounded fantastic. He sounded like stupid bullheaded Ivo._

_There was only one reason why he would._

_Ivo got him._

“So no more than a bullet, hopefully?”

Yulian broke into laughter. “Oh, much more than just a bullet. Soo much more. A bullet is considered a scratch to us. This is much more than a scratch.”

Much more than a scratch and the only people he had told so far were Vesela, Raul, and Nikol while on his way here. The advisors were going to be pissed when they found out that he kept it from them. It was basic protocol for them to be notified when the head was injured. Skipping on that rule seemed like a good idea for right now. They could know later.

By then, hopefully, Ivo would be awake and fine and would back his decision up.

Huffing, Claudia muttered “Yulian.”

“Yulian!”

Both he and Claudia looked to the door as Vesela rushed in. He stood to greet her when she practically slammed into him, hugging him tight. Tears were already streaming down her face as she cried into his chest “Please tell me he’s okay.”

Hugging her back, he replied “Okay isn’t the word I would use.”

“That is not reassuring, you piece of shit.” Her voice was broken and he was pretty sure his shirt was disgusting. Two shirts in one day. He didn’t have any more backups in the car. Pulling away, she looked into his face and said “Tell me.”

“Good luck,” Claudia chimed in. “I’ve been trying to drag words for the past ten minutes. All I get is sarcasm.”

Rolling his eyes, Yulian supplied “He’s in surgery.”

“For what?” Vesela was gnawing on her lip and her eyes were wide with worry.

_Reaching the warehouse Ivo had directed him to, Yulian jumped out of his car and pulled out his gun. He didn’t want to take any chances. He walked into the huge building carefully and slowly, clearing hallway and room as he went. Ivo had told him upstairs before his phone had died._

_Making his way to a metal staircase, Yulian tried to keep his steps as silent as possible as he made his way up, ignoring the blood trial. He preferred to think that it wasn’t Ivo’s as he continued on his way, stepping lightly on the metal floor. It was almost like a balcony because the second floor was only half the first and over looked it. There was no sound of anything so Yulian decided to take a chance._

_“Ivo?” He called, straining his ears for a response. His heart began pounding when he couldn’t hear anything. He prayed the bastard hadn’t bled out already. “Ivo.”_

_A small groan caught his ear. Then the sound of dragging. He flicked his gaze around and saw someone dragging themselves on their back backwards with their left arm._

_Ivo._

_Running to him, Yulian slid down onto the floor next to him. “Jesus, you’re a mess.”_

_Smiling with a mouth of blood, Ivo laughed the most painful sounding laugh ever and said “Happy to see you too.” He looked happier than Yulian had seen him in a long while. “I got him, Yulian. I got him. He’s dead.”_

_The amount of happiness and joy that filled him was insane. The piece of shit was dead. There was nothing worth more to celebrate right now. Maybe he’d convince Ivo to have drinks with him later. “Cleaners will be here in a few minutes. Once they get here, I’ll call the ambulance. Stick with me ‘til then.”_

_Ivo’s breathing was shallow as he nodded. “I can do that. I can do that.”_

_Nodding, Yulian held Ivo’s hand as he took stock of what he could see. Ivo’s face was a mess but that wasn’t much to worry about. The fact that he was using his left arm even though it wasn’t his dominant meant that something was wrong with the other._

_Leaning over his body, Yulian gently prodded along Ivo’s right arm. Everything felt fine until he reached his shoulder. Ivo sucked in a breath as Yulian gently probed it over. Dislocated. Could be worse._

_“Fighting got a lot harder once he took out my arm,” Ivo tried to laugh. His words were getting more slurred and taking longer to come out. Yulian needed those fucking cleaners to hurry their asses up. He couldn’t call the ambulance until the body was out of here._

_“But you did it,” he murmured as he continued his examination._

_Starting from his collarbone, Yulian systematically felt down Ivo’s upper body, trying to determine all the injuries. He stopped when his hand was met with blood. The bastard always had to wear black and make everything difficult to find._

_Raising Ivo’s shirt, Yulian took stock of the slice that would have cost Ivo his insides if it were any deeper. There were two bullet holes that were dangerously close to nicking a lung. Stripping Ivo of his shirt would cause too much jostling._

_Yanking his own off his head, Yulian pressed his tshirt on the wounds. It would at least help a little. Keeping that pressed where it was, Yulian continued his administrations._

_Ivo’s leg was at a really awkward angle._

_That would explain the dragging._

_Scooting down while still pressing down the shirt, Yulian used his other hand to feel along his brother-in-law’s legs. Another bullet hole was found, this one in his thigh. Luckily, it didn’t nick his artery. He’d definitely be a goner then. The break was found towards his knee – that’d probably need surgery along with other things._

_Turning his gaze back to Ivo, his heart stopped when he noticed his eyes had closed. “Ivo.”_

_Eyelids flickered and Ivo very slowly opened his eyes. “Still with you.”_

“He’s got some holes and slashes that need closing along with a knee that needs fixing.” Yulian barely realized that they were missing someone. “Where’s Joseph?”

“At my house,” Claudia answered. “He was going to sleep over today.”

Yulian looked to Vesela in concern. “You didn’t tell him?” Joseph was the kind who hated not knowing things. Especially if it had to do with family.

“Do you want me to panic him by telling him his father is in the hospital? Are you stupid?”

The stupid one in the room definitely wasn’t him. “Vesela,” he started, “You can’t not tell him. You know how upset he’ll be?”

Huffing, Vesela crossed her arms and stared him down. Well, she had to look up because he was taller but her stare made him feel miniscule. Her gaze was as frightening as Nikol’s when she was pissed. “Is he my kid or yours? I think I know what’s best. I’ll tell him when Ivo is settled and awake. I’m not going to worry him until then.”

He wanted to say more but he knew it wouldn’t make a difference. What she was saying made sense but then it didn’t. She should have told Joseph or brought him with her. “Okay.”

Taking a seat, Vesela said “So?”

“So,” he replied as he sat back down with Claudia taking a seat beside Vesela.

“Uh, I don’t know…” she trailed sarcastically, “What happened? That’d be a nice start.”

Shrugging, Yulian replied “He got him.”

_After getting off the phone with 911, Yulian focused his attention back on his boss. His brother-in-law._

_His friend._

_It was still possible to care for someone whose guts you hated; both he and Ivo cared for each other. They couldn’t help it. They had known each other for so long and been through so much that it just wasn’t possible to not care. To not worry._

_To not love as a brother._

_As Ivo had so perfectly stated, he may not like him, but he didn’t want him dead._

_“Feeling better?” He asked._

_Ivo’s eyes flicked open as he smiled. “I feel like the weight of guilt has been lifted off my shoulders. I got them all, Yulian. I did it. I avenged him.” Laughing although Yulian thought that was a horrible idea, Ivo said “I did it.”_

_“Nicely done, asshole,” he laughed. “Nicely done.”_

_“Yulian.” He hummed in acknowledgement as Ivo continued. “I feel so much better.”_

_“I’ll feel so much better once the ambulance gets here.”_

_“I got them all. Nikolai, Yakovlev, and Aiken. I fucking got them.”_

_Yulian thought about this. Ivo really did get them all; he had promised he would and he did. His hit list had been cleared. A couple people had been collateral damage but no one told them to get in the way of a rampaging monster._

_He got them._

“He got them all.”

His gaze caught on the group walking through the doors. Looked like Vesela’s plan backfired. At least someone had the brains to tell Joseph.

Raul walked in after Joseph and Emilio rushed in. Joseph halted in front of his mother, eyes flashing. He was so like Ivo that sometimes Yulian worried – they didn’t need a mini me. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Vesela looked incredibly confused as she looked to Raul. “How?”

“I called him,” Yulian input as he stretched in his terrible chair. “After I talked to you.”

Looking slightly annoyed as she glared at him, Vesela turned back to Joseph and put on a soft smile. “I didn’t want you to worry until he got out.”

The trademark eyeroll happened as he plopped on the floor beside his mother’s feet. “I’ll worry regardless. When doesn’t matter.”

Emilio sat down beside Joseph and asked “Surgery?”

Claudia nodded and said “Seems he has some things that need closing. And fixing.”

“He’ll be okay?”

Yulian felt like Ivo would be fine. He’d be in pain for a long while but he should be alright. He had survived bleeding out on the floor. “I think he’ll be okay. His wounds are pretty severe but…they’ll heal. All that matters is that he got him. Got all of them.”

“All three?” Joseph asked. Yulian was sure he could see delight in Joseph’s sparkling eyes.

“All three,” he smiled.

Joseph smiled in happiness. He probably knew he’d be getting his father back now. He may have had him to begin with but Ivo hadn’t been himself and they all knew it.

“All three what?” Emilio asked. Vesela and Claudia also looked curious. Yulian knew there was no way Ivo told Vesela that he had people he planned on torturing. If he hadn’t been drunk that night, he wouldn’t have told Joseph either.

Smiling, Joseph looked to Raul and did air quotes. “All three people on his alleged hit list.”

“Nice word choice,” Yulian laughed. “No suspicion there.”

“As far as I know,” Raul added with a smile of his own, “He’s talking about all three eleven rings.”

Yulian had no idea what that meant but Joseph apparently did as he laughed. After a moment, he clarified “Lord of the Rings, tetíncho. It’s okay, I know frat boys don’t read much.”

Vesela broke into laughter while Emilio and Claudia had looks of surprise on their faces. Raul knew about his life when they had talked so he was just looking amused. Ivo must have spilt it to Joseph.

That ass.

“Frat boys read, thank you. I just happened to not have read Lord of the Rings.”

“Then you haven’t read anything,” Joseph laughed. “You need to enrich yourself. I have the books if you want to borrow them.”

“Hold up,” Emilio interrupted while looking in amazement at Yulian. “You were a frat boy? Like parties and drinking and girls?”

Groaning and rubbing his eyes, Yulian muttered “Yes. Why are people always surprised?”

“Because they only know ‘now’ you. They don’t know the ‘before’ you,” Vesela laughed. “They don’t know Mr. Playboy with a mouth as filthy as Ivo’s.” Looking to the boys, she winked “Married life reformed him into boringness.”

“I’m not boring,” he grumbled. He’d think that people would be happy that he made himself better. He had admired a lot of Timotei and wanted to be like him. That wasn’t wrong.

Emilio looked horribly conflicted. “I wanna ask about you but I also wanna know about the ‘three rings.’”

“No, pick the rings,” Yulian suggested. “It’s the better option.”

Grinning, Joseph helped him out. “You gonna share? Or do I have to do power of deduction again?”

“Oh, I’m not telling anything. No way.”

Joseph’s face fell. “Why not?”

“Because business isn’t for children. This extends beyond that line me and you talked about. Like even beyond the power of deduction.” Joseph looked like he wanted to protest; Yulian stopped him. “Sorry but no. It’s the type of stuff that’ll give you nightmares.”

Yulian couldn’t stop seeing the bodies. Nikolai’s and the Russian head Yakovlev’s were bad. He didn’t want Joseph or Emilio thinking about them.

_Reading a text from Ivo, Yulian stood from his chair at the table in the main room. The room had been done over with tooth and comb but Yulian could still see Venc’s body…and parts. All the furniture was new as well. They wanted nothing to remind them of the horror._

_“Where, Yulian,” Asen’s father asked while he was reading over paperwork. He was the highest advisor after Nikolai. Well, technically after Venc sense he had the position last. Lubomir had hated that Venc was above him but kept his mouth shut._

_Why this man thought he could question him, Yulian had no clue. “Where I am needed.”_

_“As acting head, you cannot simply run off as you please. It is enough that our current head thinks that he can.”_

_“Our current head can do whatever he likes.” There was no point in explaining that the reason Ivo wasn’t around was because he was busy taking care of a personal vengeance. “You shouldn’t question him.”_

_Samuil, who was also one of the older advisors, asked as he looked up from his own papers “Why are you so undyingly loyal? He has wronged you many times over and in many ways. Yet you will defend him no matter what.”_

_Yulian would make sure that Samuil would be removed once Ivo’s mind was back. Dissenters were never trusted. Anyone who questioned Ivo’s leadership, Yulian made sure that they no longer had their positions. “I’ve never felt wronged.” Not professionally, at least. Personally, maybe a few times. “You’d best keep your seditious opinions to yourself.”_

_“Seditious? Truly you are losing it as well, Yulian. You trust him too easily.”_

_“I trust those who trust me,” he replied while walking to the door. “Now if you gentlemen will excuse me, I’ve got somewhere to be.”_

_Once he arrived at the given address, Yulian got out and walked to the correct building, going to the fourth floor. Knocking twice on the door, he waited for it to be opened. A second later, Ivo opened it with a huge smile on his face. It wasn’t really Ivo though. It was the one who was always in his head who had been forced out by his grief._

_The monster._

_“I wanted you to see!” Ivo said in glee as he let Yulian in. “One down!”_

_Yulian froze the minute he actually paid attention. It was something._

_“Great, right?” Ivo seemed like he was looking for approval._

_Yulian didn’t want to disappoint him. “One down,” he smiled._

_He was carefully learning how to deal with Ivo’s mind. Yulian knew that right now, things that happened in real life were mixing with what was happening in his head. The deaths of the people on his hit list had already taken place in his head; he was bringing them to life now._

_It was like Ivo knew that Yulian was taking the time to understand his mind and the mess it was. Ever since he had let it slip that his head was a jumble and a terrible place when he had thought that Yulian was inside of it, Ivo was more comfortable with him._

_That could all change when Ivo was back to normal but for now, they were closer than they ever were._

_Focusing back on the room, Yulian took in what he saw. There was a large tarp on the floor and above it?_

_Nikolai, or rather, what was left of Nikolai, was hanging by his feet from the ceiling. It was like slaughtering an animal except Yulian was sure that Ivo didn’t simply slit his throat and let him die. At least, not until he had finished breaking him down. Each body part was cut neatly. It was like Ivo truly believed he was breaking down a sheep or something. The parts were laid out nice and neatly on a tarp on the table._

_He wondered if Nikolai had been skinned before or after death._

_Probably before._

_Probably before the body parts had been removed._

_Suffering was an understatement for what Nikolai went through._

_Good fucking riddance._

_“Well?” Ivo bounced with the knife still in his hand. Blood was covering his arms but it didn’t seem to bother him. “What do you think?”_

_Turning back to Ivo, Yulian smiled wide and said “Venc would be proud.”_

“So you’re not going to say anything at all?” Joseph whined. “That’s not fair.”

Yulian thought for a minute before saying “The first one was taken like an animal.” Whether Joseph would get that or not wasn’t his problem. He wasn’t willing to say more.

Joseph being the animal nerd that he was, understood in seconds if the size of his eyes was anything to go by. “Like a sheep?”

“It’s amazing that that was your first guess.” This kid was something else.

“Whoa…” Emilio whispered. “That’s totally crazy…”

“Did you see?” Vesela asked. Horror was in the back of her eyes, trying to be hidden. He knew there were things that she and Nikol much preferred to ignore about their husbands. About their father too when he had been alive.

Snorting, Yulian replied “Oh yes. I was invited to a personal viewing.”

“What about number two?” Raul inquired. Yulian stared at the man before him. Surprise was what he was feeling that Raul was curious enough to ask. Rolling his eyes, Raul muttered “I’m off-duty. And I still think we’re talking about rings.”

Nodding, Yulian said “Welp, the second was a bit more tricky. It had people guarding it.”

“But he still got it?” Joseph asked.

“Yup. He just had to remove the guards first.”

_“I really think I should join you,” Yulian murmured as he gazed out to the home of Dimitri Yakovlev, head of the Russian mob in Brighton Beach. This job was way more dangerous than Nikolai. This guy was a major somebody. “No way he’s alone. For all we know, Aiken could be with him.”_

_Shrugging, Ivo replied as he checked over his gun and screwed on the silencer “Then two birds with one stone.”_

_“Can you take two birds plus the possible little fledglings?”_

_“Yes.”_

_Nodding slowly, Yulian said “Okay. Come back to me alive and preferably in one piece.”_

_“’Kay,” Ivo murmured as he stared at the home. “Yulian?”_

_“Yup?”_

_“I’m gonna make Venc proud again.” And with that, he opened the door and walked out to take his vengeance._

_Yulian checked his watch once more and counted time. He’d been sitting here for eight hours and his ass was hurting like crazy. He was stiff too. Ivo had texted him about fifteen minutes after he had gone in saying that all was clear and he’d get back to him._

_Getting back to him was taking forever._

_After another hour had passed, the chime of his phone startled him in the silence. Reading it, Yulian got out of the car and locked It behind himself. He knew that Ivo wished he had the liberty to take days on end with these bastards but they didn’t have that time. Especially with Yakovlev. They had to get out before anyone came looking for the man._

_Walking in, he made his way into the living room and found nothing. Well, nothing important; the dead guards were just whatever. He went for the kitchen next and found everything. With a bonus happy Ivo standing by the table._

_“Do you like? I returned the favor but did it a thousand times better!”_

_The favor had definitely been returned. With some added flair. Ivo must have searched through their cabinets and buffets to find the fanciest and most expensive dishes._

_Yakovlev’s head was the centerpiece of this lovely Thanksgiving dinner with it set on a silver platter in the center of the table. Everything had been removed – ears, eyes, nose, tongue, and teeth. They were the decorations of the platter, creating a ring around the head._

_Then there were the side dishes each served on smaller platters but no less beautiful. The hands were placed elegantly on a plate near the fingers who were near the arms who had been split into two at the elbow and butterflied. The feet were placed on the other side of the head, alongside the legs which had been broken down similarly to the arms. The toes were in a little plate – they must represent olives or something. The fingers had to be pickles. Asparagus, maybe?_

_He really shouldn’t be visualizing this like food. Eating would become difficult the next few days._

_On a fancy gold plate lay the man’s genitals. They were also broken down with surgical precision. Ivo’s technique was quite amazing. He should have been a surgeon or something. The organs were each laid out on their own platters; even the brain was included. Taken out nice and clean._

_Plates had been set at each chair along with cups, napkins, and utensils. “I love the candles. Nice touch.”_

_Ivo looked absolutely ecstatic. “Thank you. Did you see the carving utensils I put too?”_

_Nodding, Yulian said as he stared at the turkey set beside the head “I did. Very nice attention to detail. I wish we got to see the face of whoever finds this but we need to get going.”_

“The second was at a thanksgiving dinner.”

Joseph looked incredibly happy which was slightly worrying to Yulian. A child shouldn’t be so excited at a man’s torture. “He returned the favor.”

“He did it a million times better.”

“The third was a challenge, wasn’t it?” Emilio asked. “Because Mr. Kavinsky is here. It’s because of the third, right?”

Yulian hadn’t even known that the time of Konrad Aiken had come. He wished Ivo had at least told him. But he knew that what was between Ivo and Konrad was far more personal than anyone else.

Because the bastard was the one who killed Venc.

“The third was a hell of a fight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')


	93. Chapter 92

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> Update two! Enjoy!  
> Also this is like 98% for sure the last time you will see Johanna and Daniel. Enjoy them.
> 
> _“’Cause this fucker was something else.”_

Ivo groaned in all the hellish pain he was feeling. He couldn’t take the agony anymore. Was it real though? Whether he was awake or stuck in his mind was something that had been getting so horribly hard to determine since Venc had died. He just couldn’t figure it out anymore.

The line was just too fucking blurry.

Sometimes something would happen that he swore he was awake for only to realize that he was simply lost in his head. This had been occurring a lot lately.

But if this pain was real?

That meant that he had gotten him.

It meant that the fight with Konrad had been real and the piece of shit was really dead.

And that was worth all the suffering in the world.

Groaning again, he tried to get his eyes to open. He needed to see where he was and if anyone was here. Getting hurt was no longer a way to test if he was awake or not. Everything had mixed together like a fucking cake batter.

The only way he knew that he was for sure without a doubt in the real world was by seeing or talking to Yulian. Ivo had no idea why but suddenly, the man was like his anchor in reality. Maybe it was because he had never once been in Ivo’s head. There were horrible thoughts were Vesela or even Joseph would be hurt, so using them as his anchor never worked.

But Yulian was never there. And that was incredibly helpful in determining what was real and what wasn’t.

His eyes felt horribly heavy as he tried to just get them to fucking open. He thought he heard a noise but he wasn’t sure. Forcing his eyes to open, Ivo blinked rapidly until seeing wasn’t so dizzying or blurry.

A hospital room.

Maybe he really was awake.

“Vesela is going to be pissed that you woke up the minute she stepped out.”

 _Oh, thank God_.

Yulian.

It took him a few tries for his hoarse voice to get working but eventually Ivo mumbled “I’m awake?”

There was movement and then Yulian leaning over him while nodding. “You’re awake. And not just from the drugs. I know what you’re asking. You’re here, this is real, you’re awake.”

Relief flooded through him like nothing else. He had been so lost in his head for the past month; everything was so fucking confusing. Having Yulian’s reassuring voice was amazing. Even with his stupid Jersey accent.

It had worried him when he had accidently spilled the secret of his mess of a mind to his brother-in-law. Ivo didn’t want to be judged by the complete disarray that happened in his brain. It wasn’t his fault; his mind had been confusing since he was sixteen. For the past some years, it had been far more amplified though. It had worried him that everything was louder and sometimes taking actual shapes but Ivo decided that hiding it was better than anything else.

He didn’t want people thinking he was some nut job who needed to be in a crazy house.

Ivo had expected Yulian to do something. What, he didn’t know but he expected _something._ Maybe tell the mob that they were run by a crazy person who couldn’t discern reality from imagination. Get him removed completely. Tell Vesela and Joseph and then they wouldn’t want him anymore because he was insane. Tell Raul and have him arrest him because he thought he was some psychopath.

But that hadn’t happened. Not even close.

Yulian was understanding.

Initially, he had been weirded out by this and thought that Yulian was playing him somehow. Then Ivo realized that it was the entire opposite – Yulian was completely genuine in his want to understand and help. He wasn’t even judging Ivo and his insane brain.

It was nice having someone in on his secret without passing judgment. A small weight had been lifted.

“How you feeling?”

A laugh grew within him but Ivo couldn’t get it out. He settled for a depressing snort. “Like fucking shit.”

Yulian nodded slowly while still watching Ivo with those damn piercing eyes of his. “I told Vesela to go eat; she’ll be back in a bit. Claudia was working when you were brought in and is now officially your nurse. Pulled some favors or something. Joseph was here but when visiting hours finished he left with Raul and Emilio.”

Seeing Vesela right now would definitely brighten his mood. Joseph too but it looked like he’d have to wait until tomorrow to see his brat. Or…morning… What day was it?

“Morning of the next day. _Very_ early morning. Took you awhile to wake up.”

Blinking to his brother-in-law, Ivo murmured “I said that out loud?”

“No,” Yulian smiled, “I just figured it was your next question.”

Pain seared through him as he tried to get more comfortable. The squeal he let out was embarrassing but the pain was just too much. Wasn’t he on drugs? Why the hell was he hurting so bad?

“You shouldn’t move too much. You’re gonna be in pain for a long while. Your injuries are bad.”

“Break it down,” he ground out through clenched teeth. All he wanted was to sit up. _You idiot..._ “Help me sit,” he huffed.

Very carefully, Yulian helped him sit a little straighter. It wasn’t much but Ivo felt a tiny bit better. His movement was extremely limited on account of everything. His right leg was suspended slightly and his arm in a shoulder brace. Not to mention all the tubes attached to him.

“The obvious is your knee. The joint is pretty fucked with parts of both connecting bones gone to shit. Some ligaments were damaged but luckily no blood vessels. That woulda been pretty serious with how long it took to get you here. Minor nerve damage too. However, the swelling was too severe so they can’t operate until it goes down. Shoulder was dislocated and they successfully put that into place with no complications. Out of the three bullets you took, one wasn’t a thru-and-thru so they had to remove a bullet from your thigh. The other two, luckily, weren’t critical. Everything was stitched and cleaned up.”

“I don’t look good, do I?”

A smile grew on Yulian’s face. “You look worse than just regular shit. More like diarrhetic shit.”

“That’s fucking disgusting.”

“Well, that’s how bad you look. Your face is a bruised mess – bonus broken nose – not to mention a lot of your upper body. Oh, and you’re missing a tooth.”

Rolling his eyes, Ivo muttered as he stuck his tongue in the hole of the lost upper tooth “I’m aware. I guess it’s a good thing it’s to the side.” He realized how horribly thirsty he was. “Any water in my future?” His words were kind of funky sounding on account of the pain of his face.

“Of course,” Yulian nodded as he poured a cup from a pitcher on the nightstand. He paused for a minute then stood, going to the drawers across from the bed. Digging around for a bit, he came back with his prize. Dropping it into the cup, Yulian lifted the cup and straightened the straw to Ivo’s mouth.

Before taking a gulp, Ivo mumbled “There’s nothing wrong with my other arm.”

“Just being helpful.”

Placing the cup on the tray/table thing, Yulian sat on the edge of the bed and asked “How’d you find him? Thought he was underground?”

_Ivo rang the bell again when no one answered the door. He decided to start here because intimidating a woman was generally easier. This woman wasn’t the average one as she kicked peoples’ asses but he thought he’d give it a shot first._

_The door was opened by a puffy faced Johanna. He hoped she had been suffering horribly. She deserved it. This was all her fault anyways. “My lord?”_

_“Do you mind if I come in?” He smiled. “Something I wanted to talk about.”_

_Shrugging although she looked nervous, Johanna opened the door wider and let him in. After she shut the door, Ivo turned and slammed her hard against it by the throat. He didn’t squeeze though; she needed to be able to talk._

_Not a noise escaped from her throat. She held his wrist tight and glared. “You can ask your questions without the threat.”_

_“I’d prefer to hold you in place. Make sure you’re paying attention.” He flicked open the knife Joseph had given him and held it to her stomach. “One lie and your insides become your outsides.”_

_He could feel how she swallowed from his grasp on her throat. Fear crept slightly in her eyes but she simply nodded._

_“Where do I find Konrad Aiken.” The enforcer had gone underground after the discovery of Yakovlev’s body. No one had come for him or the mob yet asking for payment of such a heinous debt. They must not have figured out yet that the Bulgarian lord had come all the way from Hoboken to pay a visit._

_Aiken probably knew that it was him; the bastard had murdered Venc.  If he didn’t know then the man was incredibly stupid. And Ivo knew that he wasn’t._

_Swallowing again, Johanna said steadily “I don’t know who that is.”_

_Pressing the knife to her stomach, Ivo hissed “Is that really the answer you want to use?”_

_Breathing deep – Ivo could feel her start to shake – Johanna whispered “I swear, my lord, I do not know the name. Maybe I know the man but not his name.”_

_Thinking on this, Ivo realized this might actually be plausible. “Fair enough. He’s Russian, taller than me, buff as fuck with a stupid two-top. He also happens to be a Bulgarian hater.”_

_“The guy who works with Mr. Yakovlev?”_

_Easing the knife off a bit to show her his goodwill, Ivo nodded. “That’s the one. Where do I find him?”_

_Johanna’s eyes turned huge and tears began to well in her eyes. “I don’t know. I barely even know him, I swear. I’ve seen him maybe once or twice. That’s it. Please, my lord, don’t hurt me. For all the good we’ve had, please.”_

_“You’re right, we’ve had good. Except you cost Venc his life. You took away a part of my family. You seduced him and used him and killed him. It’s all your fucking fault.”_

_The tears began to run as she cried “I loved him. I loved him so much. I didn’t want any part of all this.”_

_He pressed the knife once more, close to breaking skin. “But you were. And his death will always be on you, you disgusting whore. Don’t you ever forget that.” Removing the knife and returning it to his pocket, Ivo snarled “You get to live, bitch, but only because I know that even in death Venc would never forgive me for it.”_

_Releasing her throat, Ivo glared at the sweet girl before him. He knew she never wanted a part of anything but it didn’t matter. It all stemmed from her, whether intentional or not. “I hope your brother has answers for me because then he’s going to have to suffer quite a bit. Venc would be a bit more forgiving when it comes to him.”_

“He was,” Ivo replied. “I just had to do some digging. It wasn’t as difficult as I thought it might be. I just had to use the right tools.” It’d actually been pretty easy. When you knew what people feared, using that to your advantage was simple.

_Ivo held Dama by her collar as he stood in front of a grand door to one of the biggest houses in Brighton. Whether Daniel’s parents were home didn’t bother him. If they got in the way, he’d just kill them. They were causes of this hell anyways._

_An older woman opened the door and was startled by a bark from Dama. “C-Can I help you, sir?” She kept giving quick glances to his rottie and looked like she’d slam the door shut any minute now._

_Putting on a polite smile, Ivo replied “Yes, actually. I’m looking for Daniel.”_

_“M-My Prince Daniel is in his room. He wished not to be disturbed.”_

_The fuck stupid thing was that? My Prince? Germans… “He’s expecting me.” It was technically true. There was no way Johanna hadn’t told him._

_Wringing her hands nervously, the woman – probably a maid – smiled and let him and Dama in. “I’ll show you in.”_

_“Thank you,” he smiled. He didn’t want the poor woman feeling even more scared than she was already. It wasn’t her fault she worked for this shit family._

_They walked up this huge winding fancy-ass staircase and walked down a stretch of hall. She pointed to the second to last door. “That one, sir.”_

_Grinning wide, Ivo bowed and said “Thank you. You truly have my thanks.” She smiled and began to walk away nervously when he called after her “Should you hear noises…do just ignore.”_

_The woman turned swiftly and flicked her gaze from Dama to him. Nodding quickly, she ran off._

_Knocking on Daniel’s door, he and Dama waited patiently. After a few more knocks, there was a huff and the door was yanked open. “I thought I said-” He froze when he realized who was standing before him. “Please,” he whispered._

_Laughing, Ivo replied as he and Dama walked in “What on earth is Prince Daniel begging for?” He shut the door and let go of her collar. She sat down and waited patiently for her instructions. Ivo wouldn’t use her unless he was bored and needed to hear some screams._

_Leaning on a very expensive looking desk, Ivo asked “So, how are you.”_

_Daniel’s face was worth a laugh. It was a mix between terrified and confused. “F-Fine. Yourself?”_

_“Mmm, okay I guess. I saw Johanna earlier. She says hi.”_

_“My lord-”_

_“Whoa,” he interrupted, “When’s the last time you called me that? Uh…never. Amazing what type of respect is instilled in a person when they’re scared.”_

_Sitting down on the edge of his bed, Daniel whispered “I didn’t know they were going to hurt him. I swear.”_

_“Hurt him?” Ivo snorted at this idiot’s stupidity. “You mean torture him to death?”_

_Eyes glistening, Daniel repeated “I didn’t know. I tried to stop this whole stupid plan, I swear to God. But nobody would listen.”_

_Nodding in thought, Ivo turned to the door when it was opened by a man. “Daniel-” The man halted in his tracks when Dama stood and began to growl. Looking around the room, he glanced to Daniel then Ivo. But he wasn’t afraid._

_This must be their father._

_“Ivo Kavinsky.”_

_“Oh? You know my face?” He smiled and said “Very good. Remember it in death.” With that he pulled out his gun and shot ‘King’ Heinrick von Winter in the face as Daniel jumped to his feet only to be stopped by a bristling Dama._

_Dropping like a ton, Daniel’s father lay beautifully on the floor. The red accents on the carpet looked fantastic. There wasn’t much left of his face but the man was now dead and didn’t really need it anyways. No afterlife for him or whatever._

_Tears streamed down Daniel’s face as he cried “You killed him… Oh my God…”_

_Shrugging because who cared, Ivo replied “Eh. Waste of air that man. No one told him to walk in; he would’ve lived if he hadn’t.”_

_“H-He didn’t know!”_

_Placing his gun on the desk, he laughed “Oh well! Now dear Daniel, you tell me what I want and I won’t kill your mother too.”_

_He shot up in seconds despite Dama’s warning. “Please no! Please! Whatever you want!”_

_“Good. Very good. What I want is to watch you be ripped apart by Dama but I’ll be kind and settle for less.” Daniel was beyond relieved with that revelation. “Konrad Aiken. Where?”_

_Panic filtered on his face. “I don’t know! All I know is that he disappeared when they found Yakovlev!” His eyes became bigger than saucers. “You did that.”_

_“Did you see my work?” He asked enthusiastically. Ivo wanted his hard work to be admired; Yulian had thought it was fantastic. “Great, right?”_

_Close to hyperventilating, Daniel answered in a strangled voice “It was something.”_

_“So unless you want to become dinner for my lovely lady here, tell me what I want.”_

_“M-My father has a phone number and a couple addresses. I swear that’s all I know!”_

_Addresses and a number were good. Really good, actually. “Alright, let’s have them.”_

_Nodding so fast that Ivo thought his head would come off, Daniel slowly walked to his father’s body and with shaking hands, pulled out his phone. Lifting it to Ivo, he said “You can have everything. There’s lots of stuff for different things on there. Have them all. Passcode is 4815.”_

_Taking the phone, he typed in the code and unlocked it. “Good boy for not being a nasty liar.” Shaking the phone at him, Ivo notified “If I don’t find what I want on here, I’m coming back with Bull too. I’ll let the lovely ladies take care of you.”_

_Ivo made sure to shoot Daniel’s mother on the way out. In her blood that was seeping into the kitchen tile, he wrote “Should have made me promise.”_

“Daniel,” Yulian supplied. “Best place for info. Did you hurt him?”

He was about to shrug before he realized how that would be the worst idea in the world. Ivo settled for just that face that goes with a shrug. It still hurt like a bitch. “Not physically, no. His mental wellbeing will be scarred for some time though.”

Yulian made a ‘so??’ face and said “Who gives a fuck? As long as he made himself useful.”

“Oh he did. Gave me everything I needed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')


	94. Chapter 93

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> **NOTE: I'm not putting it in the tags just cause it probs wont ever come up again in the story. The word 'rape' is said twice and there is talk of pedophilia.**
> 
> I think this chpt is really awesome and I hope you guys agree. It's my first fight scene so any constructive criticism is welcome. Actually it's always welcome, any time. I like knowing how to make things better.
> 
> I especially hope you like how this turned out, Hatty. I really hope I don't end up disappointing you.  
> If anyone is curious or wondering, Konrad Aiken wasn't actually created by me. Months ago (like what? Oct/Nov? Thousands of years ago lol) Hatty asked if they could add in a character of their own. So thru lots of emails, Konrad was created! They had to wait a super long time but Konrad is here! 
> 
> When I say I'm open to suggestions, I mean it.
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> _"Shit, did your balls drop already?”_

Feeling something soft touching his face, Ivo slowly opened his eyes and was greeted with the mug of Lord Hideous. He just couldn’t get over it. “God fuck, you’re so ugly.”

There was some noise that sounded happy and then suddenly Joseph’s face popped up next to his cat. With sparkling eyes and a huge smile, Joseph exclaimed “Hi!”

“Hey, brat,” he smiled. “Nice to see your adorable face.”

Laughing as he pushed a chair up to the bed, Joseph sat up on his knees and replied “Nice to hear your voice!”

“I see Lord Hideous has also come for a visit.” Jesus, he needed to sit straighter; his back was killing him. There was no way Joseph would be able to help and it didn’t seem like anyone else was in the room.

“Mr. Cat provides the all-time best comfort ever. I thought he could give you comfort while keeping you company. He’s super fantastic at cuddling, by the way.” With his face taking on concern, Joseph asked “Are you feeling okay? Do you need anything?”

Using his good arm, Ivo looped Lord Hideous into a hug and held him close. He could do for some cuddling. “Water and someone to help me sit better.”

Bouncing out of his chair, Joseph dashed around to the other side of the bed to the water pitcher and poured a cup. “Straw or no straw?”

If Yulian could feed him with a straw, then his kid sure as hell could. “Straw is cool.”

Answering with a nod, Joseph plopped in one of the straws that were sitting on the bedside table. After giving Ivo a drink, he pushed a button on the little remote thing. “Mrs. Vidal is your nurse.”

“I’ve been told,” he rasped. Now that he thought about it, he needed to piss. And now that he realized it, he needed to go bad. Hopefully she wasn’t one of those nurses who took forever to show up.

He sent a thank you to God when there was a knock and she walked in with her pretty smile on her face. “Morning.”

“Morning,” he replied. “I need to piss bad. Like legit right this second.”

Laughing as she walked over, she said “Is that how you would phrase it if you had some other nurse?”

“Honestly? Probably.”

She carefully lowered his leg and then helped him sit up straighter while having him sit on the edge of the bed. Making sure whatever tubes were attached were straight and neat, Claudia helped him off the bed and supported his bad side as he used the bed to lean on.

The trudge to the bathroom was long but eventually he was able to release the mounting pressure of his bladder and wash up. Walking back to the bed felt even longer – the first trudge was exhausting. He groaned in pain as Claudia helped him back into bed. Everything hurt like crazy.

“I asked Vesela if we should put a catheter in but she said you wouldn’t like that,” Claudia notified while putting his leg back up.

“What’s a catheter?” Joseph asked curiously while taking back his position on the chair.

“It’s a tube that they would have stuck up my dick so I wouldn’t have to get up to pee.” He wanted to laugh at Joseph’s face but it would hurt way too much. Looking to Claudia, Ivo said “I definitely do not want one. I’ll suffer the effort of dragging my ass to the bathroom.”

With a smile playing on her face as she checked over his wounds, Claudia replied “I figured as much anyways. It’s amazing how squeamish men become when it comes to their jewels. When I mentioned a catheter both Raul and Yulian made faces.”

“I wouldn’t say squeamish… Maybe protective of very expensive equipment.”

Joseph laughed and stressed “ _Very expensive_. Like so expensive, Mrs. Vidal, that it should be in a vault or something.”

Rolling her eyes as she laughed, Claudia asked “Need anything else? Do you want to try eating?”

For some reason, he had a sudden craving for a smoothie. Why, he had no idea but now he needed one. Preferably strawberry. With bananas or no? Did they even have smoothies here? It wasn’t food but it was sustenance. “Any chance there are smoothies?”

“Actually, yes there are.”

“Really?” he said in surprise. It had been awhile since he had been in a hospital. Generally, injuries had to be home treated to avoid any sort of suspicious shit. His injuries this time were, obviously, too severe for a home visit from a doctor. The last time he had needed to stay in a hospital was before Joseph was born and he had taken two bullets then got hit by a car.

Not a pleasant memory.

“Yes, really,” she laughed. “Mixed berry or strawberry banana? Also, the menu is in the drawer besides you, Joseph, if you guys want to see what else there is.”

Ivo had no idea why Joseph got excited and pulled out the menu. It wasn’t like the kid ate. Did he want to eat? Maybe he should try. “Uh…I want… what day is it? Saturday, right?” Claudia nodded. “Then I want a pancake. Just one.”

“Okay. Joseph, would you like anything?”

“Oh do I get to pick something?”

“If you’d like.”

Browsing through the menu for a few minutes, Joseph eventually said “I want a cheesecake.”

“Bit early for cheesecake,” Ivo noted.

Shrugging, Joseph replied “I had breakfast. And it’s always time for cheesecake.” Turning back to Claudia, he added “Without the chocolate. It should be eaten the way it’s supposed to. Oh and strawberry banana for tatko’s smoothie. He doesn’t like the other one.”

Grinning wide as she walked to the door, Claudia said “Duly noted! I’ll be back in a bit,” and walked out.

Joseph suddenly turned nervous. Ivo could just feel questions coming. Vesela wasn’t here for whatever reason so he knew that Joseph would try and use her absence to his advantage. “Um…tatko? So…what happened? How come this guy hurt you when the other ones didn’t?”

“’Cause this fucker was something else.”

_Ivo parked across from the warehouse. Both he and Aiken knew that they were going to fight this out. There was no compromise or treaty; it was life and death. And they both thought they’d be the former._

_The warehouse was in Jersey City and used to be some factory plant of some sort. They had decided on it after their phone call. It was abandoned and they needed all the privacy possible._

_This could go bad. Hell, it could become complete shit. But whatever the outcome may come to be, Ivo knew he had to try. It was the least he could do for the boy he didn’t protect. He had to do this._

_And he would. If he was going to die today, he’d make sure to take the Russian with him._

_It’d be difficult. Konrad Aiken was many things that Ivo wasn’t. For one, the bastard was a military man. From what intelligence he had gathered over the years, Aiken apparently had fifteen years under his belt. What was Ivo? Street-taught and eventually mob trained. It was fucking good training but nothing compared to actual military training. Fucking Russian too. They’re tough bastards._

_The man was also a fucking beast; he made Ivo feel short and that was saying something. Aiken could probably burst a man’s head with just his hands._

_That was an incredibly sobering thought. Ivo would appreciate it if his head wasn’t smashed by a meathead’s hands. He’d at least want to look decent for his funeral._

_His brain was what was going to get him through this. Ivo always prided the intelligence of his mind; he had gotten it from his mother. His father had been a smart man but his mother was beyond brilliant._

_All Ivo had to do was outthink the Russian enforcer. It’d be difficult because the man had a good mind of his own but it was the only angle he had. And he’d work it to death to make it through._

_He could do this._

“Um…how?”

The last thing in the world he wanted to do was tell Joseph how he murdered someone. “Business isn’t-”

“Aw!” Joseph interrupted in frustration. “Tatko, if tetíncho can bring himself to give me hints about Nikolai and the Russian head, you can give me _something._ Please?”

Fucking Yulian. As if Joseph needed to know about the satisfying slaughter of Nikolai or the dinner he had set up for Yakovlev’s family. How’d Joseph know about them anyways? “He shouldn’t have given you anything.”

“So I was just supposed to die of wonder if you cleared your hit list?”

“Hit… How do you know all this?”

Surprise filled his child’s face. “Tatko, you told me. You didn’t tell me their names but I figured it out.”

Now it was his turn to be surprised. “I told you?”

“Yes,” Joseph said slowly, “The day Venc died? In the shower?”

The shower? What the fuck? “Joseph, I’ve no clue what the fuck you’re talking about.”

Biting his lip, he replied “The night you were drunk?”

Oh. After the fourth beer, so much stuff was spouting out his mouth that he didn’t even know what had been said. Hopefully nothing extreme. “I told you about my list?”

“Yup. And how you were going to make them suffer. But you didn’t tell me exactly what you were gonna do. That’s where tetíncho came in.”

Well, fuck. Plaguing his child’s mind. “Fine. Ask an injury and you get details.”

“You could just say the whole story…”

“Nope.”

Huffing, Joseph muttered “Fine. How about you just start with the first and then just go from there?”

_Pressing a hand to his abdomen, Ivo tried to calm the adrenalin coursing through his body. That wouldn’t help him right now. While he had gotten in his own shots, only one had made contact._

_Two of the bastard’s had gotten him._

_Breathing through clenched teeth behind one of the huge vats, Ivo steadied himself as best he could. He could do this. He only had two bullets left and the extra clip he had brought had fallen somewhere on the floor. These two had to count._

_The bottom floor was quiet. Where was the bastard? Taking a quick peek around the vat, Ivo saw nothing. Heard nothing. Slowly creeping out, he cleared both sides of him._

_Nothing._

_Walking on, he hid behind another vat and waited silently, opening his ears to all possible sounds._

_Fucking nothing._

_Should he take a chance upstairs? It was a risk; the way to the stairs was open and would make him an easy target. But if Aiken was upstairs, then the Russian had the upper ground._

_Dilemma._

_Once more creeping out from the vat, Ivo worked his way systematically to the stairs. In a matter of seconds, he was hit down onto the floor. His gun went sliding in some direction he didn’t even know. Pain seared through his abdomen where he had been shot._

_Aiken was atop him with a disgusting smirk on his face. “You should’ve paid attention.”_

_A fist connected with his face. He felt his nose smash as the pain flared horribly. Then a second connected. He needed to get up. Now before he really lost._

_Flicking out a knife, Aiken said “You enjoy using these, don’t you? Cutting people open and making them suffer. Watch them bleed. Looks like you and I have something in common.”_

_“Oh no way in fuck,” he hissed as he tried to change their positions. There was no way he was going to accept being tortured._

_“Knife,” a voice whispered._

_He’d hate on himself later for forgetting. He flicked out his own quickly and shoved it into the larger man’s side. Aiken let out a small noise as Ivo twisted the blade. Using the mini distraction he had created, Ivo used whatever strength he had to get the bastard off of him._

_Dragging themselves to their feet, they stared each other down. His knife was still in the enforcer’s side but it didn’t seem to be bothering him. There was just that nasty glint in the man’s eyes as he took stance with his own blade._

_Ivo, on the other hand, was in beyond fucking agony. He was losing blood and if he didn’t end this fast then he’d just end up bleeding to death._

_That couldn’t happen._

_He needed to get the knife out of the man’s hand. It’d level the playing field a little._

“Bullets first. Well, the ones in my abdomen. My leg came later.”

Joseph nodded before he said “Slash?”

“While I was trying to get the knife out of his hand. Luckily, I still had it in me to move fast enough or else my intestines woulda spilled down onto the floor. Then it was just us; no weapons. He very kindly took out my arm during that time.”

_Aiken grasped his arm tight, twisting and turning it violently backwards. That’s when he felt the snap or pop or whatever the fuck it was and shouted in pain. No more using that limb. He knew how to fight with his left but not as well as with his right._

_He was fucked._

_Turning, he slammed his fist into the bastard’s throat, getting his arm back. Not that it was any good to him right now. His opponent was trying to catch his breath and Ivo needed to think fast. Bullets and a knife had done nothing to the piece of shit. And now that Ivo was one-handed, his odds were even worse._

_Space? Maybe he needed to just get some space so he could think. It seemed mildly cowardly but Ivo needed to worry about surviving and less about his pride right now._

_His gaze caught on the staircase. Upstairs? It was worth a try. This needed to end sooner rather than later. He was losing blood by the minute and the pain and fogginess he was feeling would make his ability to fight even worse._

_Thankfully, his legs were still in good shape. Throwing another punch and landing a knee to the bastard’s junk, Ivo used the given time to sprint to the stairs. Sprinting was kind of an overstatement as he wasn’t really in good condition to manage it but he made it to the metal staircase before Aiken was coherent again._

_Ivo was halfway up before he felt the excruciating pain of a bullet lodging into his leg. “Fuck!” He dropped onto the stair in agony. That one was wedged in there. He wasn’t bleeding like a madman so it must not have hit his artery. Thank God._

_He had to get up these damn stairs._

_Dragging himself while trying to ignore the excruciating pain he was feeling, Ivo reached the floor and shakily stood up. There were a couple rooms way in the back but Ivo wouldn’t bother with those. Cornering himself inside seemed like a bad idea. His cover here was metal pillars. They’d have to do._

“Seems he found my gun on the floor while I was going up the stairs. Used it to shoot my leg. Once I was up, I trudged to a pillar and sat behind it. Sitting wasn’t ideal but I was just too exhausted for much else. I needed time to figure out my situation but I didn’t have it.”

Eyes wide like he was hearing the story of his life – maybe he was – Joseph inquired “So what happened? Did you figure it out in time?”

Laughing as best as he could, Ivo replied “I heard his heavy footsteps on the stairs and knew I was fucked. So I said my prayers to God before I died.”

“But you didn’t. You made it.”

_Aiken had reached the second floor and Ivo was very much out of time. This was it and he couldn’t think of shit. There wasn’t enough blood going around for him to think straight._

_“Hiding like a rat?” Aiken called out in his thick Russian accent. “You’ve stooped so low, Ivo! Come out and die like a man! You are a believer in God, are you not? Take what God has written for you.”_

_He was a firm believer. Maybe his life hadn’t been fantastic and his faith had wavered more than once but God was real. Everything happened for a reason. That’s just how it was and he believed it. His conviction had strengthened when he had gotten to know his father-in-law. Timotei went through life being a man of God._

_And he was one of the greatest men to ever live._

_“Why are you silent, Ivo?” Timotei murmured to him. “Why listen to what he spews when you can unleash words much more harsh than that?”_

_“I’m tired,” he whispered in utter defeat. This was it for him. He’d come so close to death so many times since his life was turned upside down. It had caught up to him. “I can’t do it.”_

_“Don’t let those be your words. If this is to be your last stand then go down how I know you would. Go down how I expect of the bullheaded bastard you are. Go down with a fight. No less.”_

_“No less,” Ivo whispered in conviction. He wasn’t going to disappoint the man who had given him a fair shot at life. The man who had given him a life._

_“No fucking less.”_

_“Bulgarian lord? Where does the rat hide? Why does he hide? Is he afraid?” Aiken called as he searched. Ivo heard the sound of something metal dragging off the floor. “Is he a coward? I can’t wait to tell your little boy as he cries from pain that his father was too much of a coward to fight for him.”_

_Ivo froze only to feel the rash heat of hatred and fury rising in him a second later. No one in this entire fucking world threatened his family. His child._

_His brilliant fucking adorable Joseph._

_No one._

_“You’d harm a child, Vladimir? After what was done to your own? You’d inflict that upon another?”_

_The footsteps froze. The enforcer was probably surprised that Ivo knew the truth. Knew that once upon a time, Vladimir Kelav had a family. Knew that they had been taken and murdered before his eyes while he could do nothing but listen to their screams._

_Ivo knew everything._

_“I’d do it to you,” the man hissed once he had recovered from his shock. He was angry now. Probably no one had ever brought up his lost family. If they ever had, they were probably dead. “Maybe I should let you live while you watch me rape your wife and torture your boy. Fuck, maybe I’ll sell him off to be used by a man with a little boy kink.”_

_“I already murdered your lord, Kelav.” His initial reaction to the words was to have blazing anger but he knew that’s what the Russian wanted. Kelav was trying to get a rise out of him. He wanted Ivo to be brash and foolish, fueled by his fury. To ruin his straight thinking._

_But he couldn’t do that. Wouldn’t do that. His way out was still his mind. Ivo would think this through._

_What he had to do was fuck with Kelav’s brain. Nothing pissed a person off more than a reminder of failure or attacking someone they held the utmost respect for. Ivo already started by mentioning the enforcer’s dead family._

_He got this._

_“I’m curious,” Ivo called out. “Who found him? Did I give the wife a scare? Maybe some children? Grandchildren? Do tell, does he fuck his grandkids? How much control did he have over his disgusting needs?”_

_The footsteps resumed and Ivo could just hear the anger within them. The hatred. “Shut your filthy mouth. My lord was not filth who finds pleasure in children. He was an honest wonderful man of God.”_

_“So who found him?”_

_“I did,” Kelav snarled. “I found what desecration you did to him, you fucking filth. I’ll make you suffer a thousand times worse for what you did.”_

_Channeling his intelligent child, Ivo corrected “Typically when you use the word desecrate, it’s for inanimate objects or dead things.” Laughing despite the horribly agony it caused, he snorted “Your lord was very alive when I created my work of art.”_

_“I will not just rape your wife for hours, I will pass her between every single one of my men! Maybe we will keep her as our whore. Service us every minute.”_

_The words coming from the Russian were sickening but even if Ivo were to die here today, he wasn’t worried. Yulian would never let anything happen to his family. Not in a million years. His brother-in-law would take years of torture to keep them safe._

_“I don’t even think you can get it up every minute.”_

_There was a snarl of fury in response to Ivo’s banter. But he wasn’t corrected. Whether because it was true or not didn’t matter to him. “Oh damn. Can the big Russian not get his junk to work anymore? One too many hits, maybe. Taking that Viagra already, are you? If you have an erection lasting for more than four hours, make sure you call your doctor. It could be serious.”_

_“How about you show your fucking Bulgarian trash face instead of hiding?” Frustration was starting to eat Kelav alive. “Can you only fight with words? Too much of a bitch for much else?”_

_“My equipment works fantastically, actually. I think the bitch in this situation is you. Did you let your lord use you often? He was probably on Viagra with you, huh? He’s old so it’s understandable. Not easy to get that wrinkly dick up.”_

_There was a slam of whatever the metal thing was on a wall or maybe it was another pillar. Either way it sounded too close for his liking. During their banter, he had his brain shuffling through ideas but nothing was panning out. He had to think faster. Time was running out._

_“Come out so I can beat you into this fucking floor! I’ll make you wish you never existed.”_

_Ivo’s eye caught on the metal railing beside him. It looked…kinda rusty. Scooting quietly to the edge of the balcony, he looked down. Twelve feet, at least? Looked about. There was a vat almost beneath his view._

_Idea._

_“I have that thought without you inflicting it in me. Don’t worry.” Silently settling himself back where he was to gather his strength, Ivo called “So, Vladimir. Do tell.”_

_“What,” came the hissing reply._

_“Would you prefer I kill you or cash in on that bounty that their asking for you back in Russia? I don’t really need the money but which would be worse? I want your death to be very unlovely. Personally, I’d prefer to kill you myself even though I probs wont be able to enjoy torturing you. Not exactly in prime condition right now.”_

_“Are you a teenage boy now? ‘Probs?’”_

_Carefully and quietly dragging himself to his feet, Ivo replied “I like to keep in touch with my inner child. Have you played Call of Duty yet? Bet you I could beat you easy-peasy.” His gaze caught on the huge man._

_And the man’s gaze caught on him._

_This was it._

_He didn’t like the pipe that was in Kelav’s hand. Something told him blunt force trauma was about to occur as the big man came running at him, pipe ready. Dodging was out of the question as Ivo could barely move as it was._

_Too bad getting his knee taken out with a metal pipe by a dude with huge fucking muscles wasn’t. It’d be way cool if it was._

_Slamming to the floor, Ivo wanted to desperately cry in pain. Having a knee smashed exceeded his level of tolerance. His body was heating up and he knew he might face shock soon. He was one-legged and one-armed but it didn’t mean that he didn’t have a chance._

_He’d get through the pain. He could do this._

_For Venc._

_Rolling onto his back to quickly get away from the next swing that landed right next his face, Ivo used his good leg to kick the fucker hard in the dick. The pipe was dropped as the man clutched himself in pain; Ivo knew from experience that two hits in less than an hour was a complete bitch._

_Grabbing the pipe, he swung as hard he could manage into Kelav’s side._

_The side where the knife had been._

_Clutching it in his torment, the Russian let out a small noise of pain and stumbled to the side. Ivo knew this was the only chance he had. Either it worked or it didn’t._

_Putting as much as strength as he could into his last leg, Ivo rammed his foot at the enforcer, shoving him with whatever he had left in himself._

_Kelav hit the railing as Ivo dragged himself into a sitting position and swung with all his might. The railing creaked, the rusted section already weak and not being able to handle the increased weight._

_It snapped._

_Taking Vladimir Kelav with it._

_A slam echoed in the empty warehouse as Ivo hauled himself to the edge, arm and leg dragging uselessly with him. Looking over the edge he couldn’t help but laugh hysterically with the utter relief he was feeling._

_It had fucking worked._

_“Holy shit,” he laughed despite the agony running through his body. “Holy fucks of fucks of fucks! Yes!”_

_Kelav had slammed his head on the edge of the metal vat and was a splattered mess on the concrete floor._

_Ivo wasn’t the one who had ended with the smashed head._

“From there I called your tetíncho. My phone’s screen was shattered but luckily it was still working. I don’t think I’d ever been so happy to hear that stupid voice of his.”

Smiling wide, Joseph added “Or to see his face?”

“Or see his face,” Ivo snorted as there was a knock on the door and Claudia walked in with their food.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')


	95. Chapter 94

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> Soo disappointingly there's no Tuesday update this week. I've been having a bit of a rough time writing (the struggle is real guys) so I don't really have much chpts written. Literally just this one and Thursday's. That's it. So I'm hoping by taking Tuesday off, my writing prowess will make a jump start and I'll get going. That's the hopeful plan.
> 
> Also Hatty your snapshot should be around by Thursday. Aanndd I've no clue if you liked how Konrad came out...maybe he didn't come out as good as I thought it did? It'd uh be nice if you let me know... Just, you know, curious...
> 
> Today's chpt is waaayy lighter in tone than what we've been going thru lately. Ivo stopped having a filter at like 14. His mamma used slap the back of his head every time some garbage came out. The soap he and Vesela threaten Joseph with? Yeah, he's had it shoved in his mouth a couple times to the amusement of his younger bro. She gave up when she realized it didn't make a difference  
> Enjoy!
> 
> Oh and if anyone is maybe lost we are currently in Jan 2007. We've fast forwarded about 6-7 months
> 
> _“Baseball. First cut is today. Second tomorrow. Third the day after. Results Friday if I make the third round.”_

Emilio took a bite of cake while bouncing in his chair in excitement. “Eat faster, guys.”

Laughing, Joseph slowed his eating to a miniscule pace. It took minutes for his bite of cake to reach his mouth. “You’re not funny,” Emilio griped. “I can’t open my presents until we finish, so eat.”

“I’m getting there, homie,” Joseph mumbled as he chewed the tiny bite of cake about thirty times. It definitely didn’t warrant that much chewing.

“Joseph,” he whined. “Faster.”

“Now you know how it feels to have to wait,” his friend giggled in reply. Emilio could die from the sound of that giggle. Heck, he’d kill for that giggle.

He loved it.

Would he ever tell Joseph how much he was in love with him? How weird would it be? There were days where Emilio just wished he could say something but then he got too worried to do anything about it. What if he said something and Joseph thought there was something wrong with him?

Even worse, what if he didn’t want to be his friend anymore? Emilio wouldn’t be able to live with that.

Maybe it was better if he just never said anything. It would hurt when Joseph would end up with someone else – especially if it was Alicia – but it meant that they’d at least still be friends.

“I think you’re gonna like what I got you,” Joseph said after licking the frosting from his finger.

“I always like what you get me.” He tried to throw the most inconspicuous glare at Maria and her stupid smirk. “Because you’re great at picking gifts.”

“Ha, thanks,” Joseph smiled. “It’s not a normal sort of gift though. More like a sentimental sort of thing. So, it’s not really…fancy?”

Smiling, Emilio replied “I’m sure it’s totally awesome whatever it is.”

“How do you know?” Mr. Kavinsky smirked from where he sat eating his second slice of cake with a cup of coffee. “Maybe it totally sucks.”

Joseph threw a nasty glare to his father. “Rude, tatko.”

Laughing as he took another bite from his slice of cake, Mr. Kavinsky said “I’m just saying.”

The Kavinskys were at Emilio’s house today. It was his twelfth birthday but they didn’t go big or fancy. They might have decided to go to a park or something if it wasn’t raining by the bucket load but Emilio wasn’t complaining. He didn’t mind where they celebrated as long as he was with his family and Joseph.

Especially Joseph.

Almost four years. Emilio couldn’t believe it. It felt like he had known Joseph all his life, not just four years of it. The past years were some of the best he had ever experienced. The thought of Joseph not being in his life in the coming years frightened him a bit. But then it occurred to him that there was no reason that Joseph wouldn’t be in his life.

It wasn’t like he was going anywhere.

And maybe, just maybe, Emilio would build up the courage to confess his love to the most amazing boy in the world. Going through life and never telling Joseph how he felt would eat Emilio alive. He was barely handling it now as it was.

Eating the last bite of cake on his plate, Emilio glanced to everyone around him. Why was it taking them so long? “C’mon guys.”

“It’s rude to rush people, mijo,” his mother chastised with amusement written all over her face. “Be patient.”

Groaning, he lowered his head onto his crossed arms that were atop the table and glared at how slow Joseph was still eating. “What kind of friend are you?”

Smirking and looking so much like his father, Joseph replied “I’m merely returning the favor you have done to me so many times over, amigo.”

“Don’t think pulling Spanish on me is gonna help your case,” Emilio said while sticking out his tongue. “Pathetic.”

“Whatevs you say.”

“I can’t believe your twelve,” his mother sighed. “My little boy isn’t that little anymore. So depressing.”

“It really is,” his father agreed from he was leaning beside Emilio’s mom. “I don’t think I’m ready for a teenage Emilio. Don’t know if I can handle him. Especially if he’s the way I was. Then I’m screwed.”

Everyone broke in laughs as his dad insisted “I’m serious.”

“You’re handling three girls, papa,” Alicia laughed. “I’m sure you can handle a boy.”

“I’ll be thee awesomest teenager ever,” Emilio added. “I won’t be a pain like you were, don’t worry.”

“I’m soo reassured,” his father snorted.

Bouncing once more in his chair, he decided to share some good news. “Oh, oh, guys. I grew _three inches._ I consider that a lot.”

Joseph’s eyes went wide. “You’re so lucky. I haven’t grown at all.”

“Not true. You grew an inch,” Mrs. Kavinsky corrected. “That’s something.”

“An inch is pathetic, mayko. I’m probably going to be the shortest boy in high school. It’s gonna suck.”

“You’ll hit puberty eventually,” Maria tried to encourage. “Then you’ll grow some. No worries. Plus, there are a lot of girls who dig short guys. Don’t worry about it. Trust me, you’ll definitely catch someone’s eye.”

He wanted to murder Maria for encouraging Joseph to think about girls. Not cool. Even Alicia looked annoyed. She probably didn’t want Joseph thinking about any other girl except her.

But he sure did like the blush on his friend’s cheeks. It was really pretty.

Mr. Kavinsky also caught the blush and was staring at Joseph intently. Emilio thought it was weird from how hard he was staring with his eyebrows scrunched in thought. Joseph’s blush only got deeper.

Some light bulb went off in Mr. Kavinsky as his eyes went wide and then he murmured “Oh shit.”

Obviously Joseph understood because his face got even redder but nobody else did. They were all missing a piece of the conversation until Mr. Kavinsky said “Did I take too long for the puberty talk? Shit, did your balls drop already?”

“Ivo!” Mrs. Kavinsky exclaimed, completely mortified while Joseph’s face turned even more red as he quickly covered it in his embarrassment.

Emilio didn’t blame him. He’d be totally embarrassed if his father had brought it up in front of everyone like it was nothing.

Over birthday cake.

“What? It’s a question.”

“You don’t say that in front of people.” Mrs. Kavinsky gestured to Emilio’s sisters, “In front of girls.”

Looking genuinely confused, Mr. Kavinsky said “They’re not strangers. What’s the big deal?”

His father was laughing but trying his best to hide it for Joseph’s sake. Calming himself, he chimed in “Not strangers but they really don’t need to know the answer to that question. And I don’t think Joseph wants to answer that question in front of everyone.”

“I seriously don’t see the big deal here.” Looking at Emilio, Joseph’s father asked “Did yours?”

He felt his face go hot. His laughing sisters definitely didn’t need to know that he was going through puberty. Well that wasn’t a problem; they just didn’t need to know the finer details like him growing some hair.

And other stuff.

“Oh my God, Ivo, shut up.” Mrs. Kavinsky groaned. “Stop embarrassing the poor things to death.”

“I’m going to act like it’s entirely not weird that you just asked my child if his balls dropped or not,” his dad laughed. He seemed incredibly amused by the whole line of conversation. “There’s something so entirely wrong with you. We need to build a filter in you or something.”

Rolling his eyes, Mr. Kavinsky noted “It’s not like I’m asking them if they’ve had boners yet.” His face took on a sudden curious look. Luckily, Mrs. Kavinsky slapped a hand on his mouth.

“I think we’re done with this line of convo, dear husband mine.”

Emilio could see his own thoughts reflected in Joseph’s.

Thank God.

 

 

“Come in,” Emilio called to whoever was knocking. His room was his own right now as his abuela was visiting his uncles and aunt back in Connecticut.

It was kind of a bummer because he was so used to sharing a room with her. It seemed too quiet without her chatter of whatever she felt like talking about at that moment. She never quite stopped talking but Emilio didn’t mind. She was a great conversation partner.

Plus, he knew that he was her favorite grandchild. Letting her chat away was the least he could do.

His father smiled to him as he walked in, closing the door behind himself. Walking over to Emilio’s bed, he got on and laid down beside him. “Hola.”

Curling into his dad’s arm, Emilio replied “Whattup, homeboy.”

Choking on his laughter as he shook his head, his father muttered “Dear God help me.”

“From your crazy daughters, I know.”

Letting out another laugh, he replied “From my insane son actually. Surprisingly, my daughters seem to be the mellow ones.”

“Uhuh, you say that while Maria and Alicia are screaming at each other over a shoe.”

Snorting, his dad muttered “Fair point.”

“So…” Emilio started. His father hummed while turning to look at him. “C’mon, papa, you’re here for a reason.”

“Can I not just enjoy your company?”

“Not while you’re exhausted and have work tomorrow morning,” Emilio yawned. “Your sleep is more important.”

Kissing Emilio’s hair, his father mumbled “Your concern is sweet but risking my sleep for time with my kids is worth it in my mind.”

“Hmm, I don’t really feel like being sappy right before bed so…”

Emilio enjoyed the rumbling of his father’s laughter that he felt through his chest. “Now’s not the time, huh? No problem; I didn’t come to be sappy anyways.”

Stretching as he sat up and sat crossed-legged, Emilio smirked “I knew it.”

“Yeah, yeah,” his dad yawned as he also stretched his limbs out and sat up. “We’re not going sappy; we’re going hopefully not embarrassing.”

“Embarrassing?”

“Did _I_ wait too long for the puberty talk? Apparently, Ivo did and something tells me I might have too.”

He’d much rather be sappy than this. Emilio wasn’t down for talking about puberty. It was awkward.

And embarrassing.

Not something he wanted to do.

“Uh…we…we don’t have to talk about it…at all.” His face felt as hot as it did at the table.

Surprise overran his father’s face. “At all? Mijo, it’s not something to be embarrassed of. It’s normal. It took a lot to convince mama to let me do it and not her. She says ‘cause she’s a nurse, she should take care of it.”

The last thing ever in this world that Emilio wanted was to talk with his mother about puberty. Or just…things related to his body in general. That seemed weird.

Really weird.

“Papi, I get the basics. We don’t need to talk about it. I…I’d prefer we didn’t.”

Raising a brow, his dad asked “So…overly curious Emilio isn’t curious on how his body is going to change? What’s so ever?”

He was curious but he just didn’t want to have to talk about it. It was just too awkward of a topic. “What’s to talk about? Balls and penis grow along with hair. Bonus acne and…erections…” An egg could probably be cooked on his face from how hot it was. “Oh and my voice will change. I think I covered everything.”

“You don’t need to be so embarrassed, Emilio. You’re a growing boy; it’s normal. I guarantee you that Joseph is probably having the same exact conversation with Ivo right now.”

  

* * *

 

Joseph walked out of his bathroom, ready for bed.

Or not.

“Is this the part where we have ‘the talk?’”

“I think so,” his father shrugged where he sat on Joseph’s bed with Peanut in his lap. During his recovery and rehab period, his father and Peanut had become the best of friends. She was his constant company.

Rehab had been hard on his father. His shoulder hadn’t been the issue; the exercises were easy and he strengthened it in no time. It was his knee that he struggled with. He now had pins and screws in it. The week after the cast had been removed had been incredibly difficult. His father hadn’t even stayed in his room and instead used the downstairs guest room because the stairs were too tiring on him.

There was still a dull ache in his knee, especially when it was cold, but his father was mobile once more. Exercises were still preformed – it was stronger than after the surgery but not as strong as it had been. It was the goal his father was working towards.

Getting up on the bed while yawning, he sat facing his father and gestured out with his hands. “Knock yourself out.”

Titling his head in thought, his father noted “You’re not so embarrassed anymore.”

“I’m not sitting at a table full of people who don’t need to know if my balls dropped or not.”

Laughing, he replied “Okay, fair point. I still don’t see what the big deal is but whatever. So, I’m late?”

Joseph shrugged and said “I guess. I mean, I kinda know most stuff anyways. Probably everything actually.”

“So…everything is working the way it should be? Hair’s growing in the right places and expensive equipment is growing?”

He couldn’t help the laugh that erupted from him. “So far so good,” he snorted. “Had my first boner like a month ago if you’re really that curious. It was…interesting.”

Smiling as his laughter picked up once more, his father chuckled “I can’t say I’ve heard people describe it that way but okay.”

“I do have a question though.”

“Shoot.”

“Why am I not taller already.”

His father fell into a fit of laughter that Joseph was actually a little hurt by. It was a real question; he wanted to know. He was going through the beginning of all the other puberty stuff and yet he couldn’t hit a freaking growth spurt.

It wasn’t fair. He had been praying for years.

One had to have at least made it to God’s ears.

“I’m sorry,” his father got through his laughs. “I swear.”

Rolling his eyes, Joseph muttered “Whatever. It’s not fair that Emilio is growing and I’m not.”

“Maybe your dick will be bigger.”

“That’s not a big deal.”

By the look on his father’s face, he apparently did not agree.

At all.

“You’re joking right…” He looked so horribly shocked and appalled. “I guess your fancy books and research didn’t teach you everything. Size is a big deal. Like a _huge_ fucking deal.”

Joseph shrugged and replied “Maybe for a guy’s fragile self-esteem. It doesn’t necessarily make a difference during sex.” He had no idea when was the last time that his father was speechless. It was quite amazing really. “Tatko-”

“Just please stop before you give me a heart attack. I’m too young,” his father interrupted while shaking his head and clutching his shirt where his heart was.

“Actually, a man having a heart attack at thirty-seven – practically thirty-eight – isn’t as uncommon as you may think it is. And getting back to the point on hand, even if I end up better endowed than Emilio, there are two problems.”

Throwing his hands in the air with a huff at how in the world he got stuck in this conversation, his father asked for enlightenment. “Please tell.”

Holding up a finger, Joseph said “One? Unless Emilio and I suddenly decide that we have a need to see each other naked, we’ll never know who’s bigger.” Joseph tried to smother and bury that little feeling inside of him that wasn’t opposed to such an idea. That disgusting sinful part of him that made him a horrible gay mistake. Wanting his friend as a boyfriend was probably his worst thought yet.

Putting up a second finger, he continued “Two? Even if we knew I was bigger, it’s not like it’s something I can go flaunting around.”

“Okay, my turn. One? It’s not weird to compare dick sizes. Dudes do that.”

He held up his hand to insert his own opinion on the matter. “Tatko, you think it’s not weird to talk about balls that are not the toy kind over birthday cake in front of people who don’t want to know.”

“Am I allowed to add in on that?” Joseph nodded. “Alicia wants to know.”

Joseph froze.

“What?”

A smile grew upon his father’s handsome face. “You need to become more aware, beautiful child mine. Open up your eyes a bit! Alicia has been crushing on you for at least a year. Who knows? Maybe more and I only recently realized it.”

That couldn’t be right. Why would Alicia like him? His father had to be making this up. “You’re lying.”

“Have I ever lied to you?”

“Well…no…but this is just stupid. Why would Alicia like me? Makes no sense.”

Making himself comfortable after putting pillows behind his back and straightening his bad leg out, his father replied “Something wrong with you? As Maria put it, you catch eyes, brat. You’re welcome.”

“Huh?”

“You got my awesome genes. Duh.”

Laughing as he shook his head, Joseph tried to figure this all out. “So you think Alicia likes me?”

“For sure. She can’t take her eyes off of you half the time. Not to mention that no matter what stupid garbage comes out of your mouth, she either laughs or agrees.”

Now that Joseph thought about it…he had noticed that too. But he hadn’t thought anything about it. Probably because she was a girl and he wasn’t attracted to girls so his brain hadn’t really latched onto it. “That’s how you know a girl likes you?”

“Generally a good indicator.”

“Buutt… I still don’t see why she’d want me. I’m gonna turn twelve and she just turned sixteen. Don’t sixteen year olds go for like older guys or something? Manly dudes with muscles and cars and whatever?”

He gave a shrug of a shoulder and said “I mean, I guess. But Alicia is obviously smart and realizes that she should go for quality and not age.” Making a weird framing gesture around Joseph’s body, his father added “You are quality.”

Scratching his head, Joseph wondered what to make of this news. Maybe…maybe he should try and return her affections. That wouldn’t be weird, would it? Alicia was already giving hers anyways. Obviously, he was gay and wasn’t attracted to her but maybe this was a chance to ‘ungay’ himself. Alicia _was_ pretty…

“How old were you when you had your first girlfriend?”

A skeptical look came over his father with his brow raised. “A minute ago you didn’t even know she was into you and suddenly you want to make her your girl?”

He felt his face flame. “No. I’m just…thinking is all.”

“Uhuh,” his father muttered in disbelief. “I was thirteen and I truly hope you’re not going to take advantage of her feelings for you. Because that is just fucked up and I’m pretty sure me and mayko raised you better than that.”

It was a good thing that he was getting good at making his face blank. Lying had gotten a thousand times easier; he could pull one on his mother nowadays. His father was harder but Joseph felt like he had this one.

“No, of course not.”

Taking advantage was a strong way to put it. It wasn’t that he was maybe mulling over using her, it was just that he needed a girl and sense Alicia already had feelings for him, it’d be easier to try with her.

All he wanted was to be normal. To not be a disgusting gay.

And to manage that, Joseph needed one thing.

A girlfriend.

Alicia.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')


	96. Chapter 95

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> New snapshot! And it's something new as it's written in Daniel's pov. Check it out y'all.
> 
> I'm not entirely happy with this chpt buut it's not bad I guess. Soo yeah... Enjoy :)
> 
> PS. If any of my guy readers are willing to share...do dudes really compare dick sizes? I've heard dudes I know mention it but I don't really know. Don't be shy
> 
> _“I’d prefer if you guys shut up and watch his awesomness."_

Both he and his mother carefully watched his father eat. The past couple weeks had been hard for everyone – especially him.

It was officially more than a year since Venc had died. His anniversary was a week and a half ago. The day had been difficult and his father had yet to recover from it. He was still lost in the world of his mind. His emotional state wasn’t exactly the most stable currently. But Joseph and his mother had noticed that since yesterday, his father seemed a little better.

He appeared to be okay today as they each finished their breakfasts before they had to go on their ways; Joseph to school and his father to work.

“So…the first round of tryouts are today,” Joseph murmured after a sip of milk. His nerves were buzzing at the prospect of failing yet again. Practice had been something that Joseph had been doing for months and he felt ready.

But you just never knew.

“Tryouts?” his father replied. He was pushing around the last bit of oatmeal in his bowl, paying attention enough to ask questions but not really caring.

“Baseball. First cut is today. Second tomorrow. Third the day after. Results Friday if I make the third round.”

“Good luck!” His mother smiled. “I’m sure you got it this time. But I’ll cross my fingers regardless. You wanna walk or am I getting you?”

“I’ll walk. It’s nice today.”

“You’ll be tired.”

Shrugging, he replied as he stood to take his dishes to the sink “Nah. I’ll be fine.”

Washing up and brushing his teeth, Joseph pulled out a pair of shorts and a tshirt and got dressed. Grabbing his bag after putting on some socks, he checked to make sure he had everything. Kissing Peanut goodbye, Joseph headed out of his room and down the stairs.

“Sweater,” his mother called from the kitchen. “You might need it.”

He was about to say that he was fine when his sweater was thrown atop his head. Pulling it off, Joseph looked at his father who was also ready to leave. “Shoes and I’ll drop you off.”

Shaking his head while stuffing the sweater into his bag, Joseph said “That’s okay. I don’t mind walking.”

“And I don’t mind dropping you off. Let’s go.”

Giving in to avoid the hassle, Joseph followed his father out to the garage.

 

 

Come after school, Joseph was smiling in delight at the paper in his hand. He couldn’t believe that he had done it. Unlike the last time he tried out, batting came first. It had rattled him because that was his weakest skill, even though he had come a long way from two years ago.

But he did it.

One down. Two to go.

He could do this.

Putting it into his bag, Joseph grabbed his stuff, left the school, and headed home. As he walked, he paused every now and then to look into different shop windows. Stopping in front of his fourth store, Joseph’s eye caught on two things. One was a book that he knew Emilio had been dying for that had come out only a couple days ago. The other was a bracelet.

He wondered if Alicia would like it.

The thought of them maybe being a thing was something Joseph was seriously considering. Playing off her affections seemed horribly cruel but what he figured was that eventually he’d return them. All he had to do was work up to it. If he kept working at it, he would fall for her beyond the line of friendship. Love her even. And if that happened?

Then he wasn’t gay anymore.

Problem solved.

Walking into the store, Joseph grabbed the book first. Bros before hos. Not that he thought of Alicia like that. Picking up the jewelry box where the bracelet was housed, Joseph examined it close. It seemed similar to a charm bracelet that his mother had. Obviously this one was fake but same concept. The bracelet was silver links with five charms of different color gemstones hanging from it and Joseph felt like it was pretty.

Hopefully he had good taste.

Paying for the items and putting them into his backpack, Joseph hoped there was nothing he wanted to buy anytime soon. He was officially broke. Again. He had saved up a bit from when he had bought Emilio his birthday gift.

Funny how what he had saved went to Emilio again. Now plus Alicia.

Making it home, Joseph called a hello to his mother only to not find her home. Letting out a sigh, Joseph changed and washed up. His guess was that she went to be with her ‘second man.’

Joseph had no idea what to do about that. He was tempted to talk to her about it because he for sure knew that she was cheating on his father again. It wasn’t a question anymore. He had been in her room a couple months ago when her phone had buzzed on her nightstand. She was in the bathroom and generally he was allowed to read the name to see if it was his father. There was a problem when he grabbed the phone.

It wasn’t her phone.

_Joseph stared at the phone in his hand. Whose was this? It wasn’t his mother’s and she hadn’t gotten a new one. Looking back to her nightstand, he realized that her actual phone was right there. Grabbing that one, he compared the two in his hand._

_Why did she have a second one?_

_Biting his lip, Joseph contemplated reading whatever the message was. Or at least seeing who it was from that she had to have an entirely different phone for them. He flicked a glance to the bathroom; he had time._

_Putting her normal phone down, Joseph opened the other. It was locked but Joseph knew that his mother’s memory wasn’t exactly the best. She probably used the same passcode for both._

_Typing it in, Joseph felt a bit of excitement course through him when the phone unlocked. Taking a deep breath, he opened the message. It was from some guy named Johnny. As bad as it sounded…the guy sounded incredibly…redneck hickster or something._

_Joseph didn’t approve._

_The message was simple. He loved her and couldn’t wait until they got to see each other again._

_“Fuck you,” Joseph couldn’t help but hiss. This guy really bothered him. It was his mother’s fault too, obviously, but it was easier to direct his anger at this stupid bastard than the woman he loved._

_Flicking another glance to the bathroom, Joseph figured he at least had a couple more minutes before she finished from the shower. Quickly, he went to the pictures, hoping to see who this stupid guy was._

_They sure enjoyed capturing themselves together. Anger was flaring inside of him. If his mother wanted to be with this guy, why didn’t she just go? She couldn’t love two guys. That’s not how it worked._

_The man was shorter than his father but more built. He had to grudgingly admit that the bastard was handsome with his features. Spiked light brown hair and hazel eyes, the dude had some stuff going for him._

_He still seemed hickish though. Down south redneck or whatever. He was probably Jersey City trash… or maybe from Camden._

Sighing again as he got on his bed to rest his exhausted body, Joseph wondered how to go about wooing Alicia. Technically, she was already wooed. He just had to woo himself to her.

Maybe he’d just slowly work his way up. Then maybe in like the summer or something…he’d ask her out? He was practically twelve, would be in the summer, so he didn’t have to rush but Joseph figured that the sooner he crushed the gay out of himself, the better.

Sooner rather than later.

 

 

Nerves buzzing like an entire swarm of bees – maybe multiple swarms of bees – Joseph stood at the end of the hall in school, watching the coach’s office. He had made the second cut to his excitement and delight. It was pitching and catching so if he hadn’t made it, Joseph would have hated himself.

The third round was a combination of everything plus a mock game. If you made the team, your name would be on the list today. Waiting was killing him; the suspense was eating him alive. The coach had said the list would go up sometime during lunch on Friday, so here he was.

Waiting.

His fingers tapped nervously on his leg and his heart stopped beating entirely when the coach’s door opened. Out walked Coach Rodriguez with a paper in her hand, pinning it to the board outside her office. Gnawing his lip, he waited until she walked off and dashed to the bulletin.

He scanned the list nervously and felt a slight trickle of fear until finally his eyes caught on his name.

Joseph Kavinsky.

Holy crap.

“Yes!” he shouted in the crowded hall. Some kids stared at him but he could care less right now. He had made the team.

Officially, he was a baseball player now.

This was just _innsane_.

Bouncing in all the elation and anticipation that he was feeling, Joseph went to eat his lunch. He couldn’t wait to the share the news with everyone.

  

* * *

 

 _Not this week,_ Vesela texted to Johnny. _Sorry_. They had seen each other on Monday; twice a week would easily lead to her being caught.

_Im dying to see you baby_

Sighing, she thought for a minute before typing _next week for sure_.

Lying down in bed, Vesela wondered what the hell she was doing with her life. Possibly fucking it up was the best answer.

But she couldn’t help it. Whatever she felt like she was missing with Ivo, Johnny made up for it. It was stupid but Vesela wanted them both. Right now, Johnny was down with that. Eventually, she knew, he wouldn’t be. He’d want more than what she was able to give as a married woman.

And what about Ivo? God if he knew, she was as good as fucked. And quite frankly, she couldn’t even find a way to blame him. He had every right to be hurt and angry and upset.

Somehow, she had managed to keep her affair under wraps for the past three years. She had learned from the last time.

How long could she keep this up though? It was inevitable that someone was going to find out. Hell, something inside of her just knew that Joseph knew. He was covering for her for now but how long would he let it go? Vesela could feel the disdain and pain he felt every time he figured that she was going to see Johnny. How long would he let her get away with it before he couldn’t take it anymore?

Vesela was horribly stuck and very possibly fucked.

“I’m home!”

A smile overtook her depression. God, she had been praying all day that Joseph made the team. Something told her he had; he wouldn’t have come in so happy sounding if he hadn’t.

Getting up, she met him at the top of the stairs. “So?”

He kept his face straight to the point where Vesela wondered if she was wrong. That was until a huge smile of happiness broke through and he shouted while throwing his hands up “I did it!”

Pure unadulterated glee erupted throughout her being. That smile was worth millions of dollars and she was delighted to see it on his beautiful face. Yanking him into a tight hug, she exclaimed “Exciting! I’m so proud of you!”

Hugging her back, he laughed “I’m officially a baseball player now.”

“Hey, maybe you can make a career of it,” she suggested as they pulled apart and walked to his room. They walked in and he threw his bag onto the bed and gave Peanut an epic rubdown. The cat was, of course, more than happy; she was purring so much she sounded like a motor.

“Think so? I don’t know if I can manage vet, engineer, and professional baseball player all at once. Sounds like a lot.”

“Good point,” she replied as she sat down on the bed. Grabbing his bag, she opened it up to see what he had for the day. It was normal, she did it all the time and he never had an issue before.

Except it seemed like he did right now as his eyes suddenly went wide and he stuck out her hands for her to stop when he noticed what she was doing. “No, mayko!”

Her hand froze inside around something that felt like a box. She hadn’t checked his bag this week so she had no clue what it could possibly be.

Or why he was so intent on her not seeing it.

“No?”

Biting his lip, he said “Uh, there’s nothing for you this week.”

“Okay…so I can’t look?”

One of these days he was going to make a hole in those full lips. Girls were going to love them. _Not that girls are his thing_. “Uhh…umm…”

Pulling out the box as he cringed, she looked at it closely. A jewelry box? Opening it while Joseph stared with wide eyes, Vesela stared at the pretty bracelet inside. “Whose is this?”

Scratching his arm in his nervousness, he muttered “If I tell you, will you not tell anyone or make it a big deal?”

This was getting interesting. “Deal.”

“Um… okay,” he sighed as he sat beside her. “First, is it pretty?”

It had to be for someone then. Taking a closer look at the bracelet, she replied “It’s lovely.”

“Okay good. I was worried about my taste.”

“Worried about your taste? So you got this for someone?” This was turning incredibly interesting. Was it for a girl? It had to be; he wouldn’t get jewelry for a boy.

But if it was for a girl…was he not gay? She had fully come to the conclusion that he was despite how much she hated it. Somehow she had given birth to a gay and that didn’t sit well with her. There was nothing she could do about it though. Joseph was Joseph. There was no way that she could think of to change him. For awhile, she had tried convincing herself that it was just a phase. Her baby would wake up and realize that he didn’t actually like boys in a way that was gross.

Vesela wasn’t that stupid though. Being gay wasn’t a phase or a choice of lifestyle. It was how a person felt, how they loved. Joseph loved differently than his father – his eyes went for the boys and couldn’t care less for girls. It disgusted her but he was her son; she’d put up with it. As long as he didn’t start advertising his affections then there was no problem.

Also as long as Ivo never found out.

Then Joseph was as fucked as she was.

Running fingers through his hair while still working on that hole in his lip, Joseph replied “For…for Alicia.”

She stared at Joseph in surprise. “Alicia? Like Emilio’s Alicia?” Joseph nodded. “Why?”

“Tatko mentioned that she had a crush on me and yeah… I, uh, thought I’d try to return said affections.”

“Joseph you can’t force yourself to fall for someone. It just happens.”

He shrugged and murmured “If I put my mind to it, I can do it.”

Closing the box and placing it on the bed, she knelt in front of him to get a good look at his face. “Baby, if you don’t have feelings for her, don’t try to force some. It’ll hurt you and her especially. Just because a girl has a crush on you, it doesn’t mean you have to return it. Just wait and you’ll end up falling for someone yourself. Plus, there’s no rush.”

Did he know that she knew that he was gay? Vesela wanted him to talk to her about but she refused to start the conversation herself. She wanted him to trust her enough to do it himself. Maybe this was why he was trying to fall for Alicia.

Maybe he was trying to beat the gay out of himself.

Vesela appreciated his efforts immensely.

“She’s pretty,” he shrugged as if that’s what mattered. “It’s worth a shot. I’m not giving her it anytime soon. I figure it’s better to just start with words and stuff and then work up to the gift. Like you said, no rush.”

Thinking for a minute, Vesela realized that she didn’t want to stop him. If forcing himself to love Alicia was how he was going to find a way not to be gay, then she was all for it.

Hell, maybe it’d actually work.

“Go for it. And if you need advice on girls, I happen to be of that gender.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')


	97. Chapter 96

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> I know for some, last chpt was kinda boring. Don't worry, I get it. It was really setting the stage for stuff to come. If we skip over chpts like these then stuff ain't gonna make sense. They're necessary.
> 
> But no worries, today's is more fun ;) Also there's an update on Tuesday this week! Huzzah!  
> Enjoy some baseball y'all
> 
> _“Pizza should always be taken advantage of. Even in death.”_

It was the first game of the season.

Joseph was thoroughly terrified.

Nerves buzzed and butterflies were alive and kicking in his stomach. What if he did bad because he was so nervous? He’d look horrible in front of all the people in the stands. In front of his family and Emilio’s.

He felt like he was about to have a panic attack.

Maybe he couldn’t do this.

They were in the locker room and the coach was giving one of those cheesy pep talks. Everyone was enraptured in her words except Joseph. He was stuck in his head with his pulsing nerves working to incite panic. He was pitcher for the first inning and while he had been ecstatic when he was chosen, all it did right now was make him absolutely terrified.

“Alright, let’s go!” Coach Rodriguez declared in her commanding excited voice, fist raised to the sky. “And let’s kick some butt!”

The team chorused their enthusiasm behind hers and filed out of the locker room. Joseph didn’t follow though; he stared down at the floor and breathed slow and deep. Getting control of his panic was what he needed to do right now and it was always easier if there were no prying eyes around.

Lost in his thoughts, Joseph gave a cry of surprise when there was a hand on his shoulder. With wide eyes, he turned and looked into the face of his coach. “You alright, Kavinsky?”

“Yes’m,” he smiled. “Just, uh, getting a handle on myself.”

She nodded and a smile grew on her face. “Hey, first games can always be nerve racking. But I got faith in you, kid. You’ll be alright and strike me out some of those fools.”

Joseph couldn’t help but laugh which felt fantastic as a soother to his fears. “I’ll try my best.”

“And if things don’t go alright? Don’t worry about it. It’s just the first game of the season. We got time to kick some serious butt.”

Smiling, he nodded “Okay. No worries, I think. I got this.”

“Totally,” she laughed while thumping him on the back. The woman had enough strength to break some bones if she wanted. “Let’s head out.”

 

 

Rolling the ball in his hand, Joseph gave a slight nod to the catcher. Loosening his shoulder some more for a few more seconds, he reared his arm back and pitched a fastball.

“Strike!”

The smile of glee that erupted on his face was something he couldn’t help. When he watched baseball with his father, he always noticed how everyone was always so serious looking. Joseph couldn’t do that though. He had the full intentions of enjoying every second of this.

Catching the ball as it was thrown back to him, Joseph considered doing one of his fancier pitches but thought better of it. The game was fresh, he didn’t need to tire out his arm too early. His fastball would do for now.

Rolling his shoulder, Joseph once again reared his arm back and threw as hard as he could.

“Strike!”

 _Oh fuck, I might get my first strikeout!_ He was about ready to bounce from his excitement as he caught the ball for a second time. _I got this._

  

* * *

 

Emilio watched Joseph in complete fascination. He knew that he could pitch but actually seeing him in a game was just amazing. His friend rolled both shoulder and wrist, giving the slightest nod to the catcher, and then pitched his third ball.

“Strike! You’re out!”

They all jumped up and cheered. He couldn’t exactly see Joseph’s face from all the way over here but Emilio swore there was a gigantic smile on it.

He liked it a lot.

Sitting back down, he turned to look at Andrey who was seated beside him when he said in slight amazement “I didn’t know he was that good.”

Rolling his eyes, Emilio replied “If you ever bothered to play with us when we invite you, you’d know.”

“I’d prefer to spend my free time away from you dorks.”

Emilio was about to give back a stinging retort when he was interrupted by the voice behind them.

“I’d prefer if you guys shut up and watch his awesomness,” Ivet announced while placing a threating hand on each of their shoulders as she leaned her head between them. “Unless you want dislocated shoulders,” she smiled to each of them while squeezing warningly.

Both Emilio and Andrey stared at each other then slowly turned back to the game. “We’re good,” Andrey said after clearing his throat nervously. “Like totally fine, Ivet.”

“Way totally,” Emilio added quickly.

Ivet knew how to hurt and he’d really prefer not to be hurt right now. She knew all these pressure points and stuff and it freaked Emilio out just a tad. Actually, it freaked everyone out and they generally avoided pissing her off. One time Joseph had made a joke about her being a hormonal teenager and she tackled him to the floor, putting him in a headlock.

They avoided personal jokes after that. It was really better for everyone.

She was doing okay and had learned to cope with Venc’s death. With the world, she was a bit more bitter and a tad angrier than she had been before but that was about it. Besides that, there was also that she tried to avoid talking to Mr. Kavinsky unless she had to. Emilio found out from Joseph that she blamed him for the death of her brother. He could understand that but he also felt it was slightly unfair. It wasn’t like Mr. Kavinsky wanted his best friend to be tortured to death. He had gone through a lot when Venc had been murdered.

Despite that, they always included her in family things because they didn’t want her to feel left out or to think that dynamics had changed in any way just because Venc was gone.

He breathed a sigh of relief when she removed her hands from their shoulders. They gave each other the face that said ‘we got a crazy behind us’ and turned back to the game as Joseph pitched another ball.

The batter hit the ball far out into the field. The outfielders ran for it but by the time the ball reached first base, the batter had already made it.

“Dang,” Andrey muttered in disappointment.

“Agreed.”

“You know,” he heard Mrs. Kavinsky chime a few seats away from him where she sat between his mother and Mr. Kavinsky, “I think I know that coach.”

“The lady or the dude for the other team?” Maria asked.

“The lady…” Looking to everyone, she inquired “Any of you guys know her name?”

“Uh…something Rodriguez,” Andrey answered. “Elaine, maybe. Probably. I’m pretty sure.”

Her perfect eyebrow rose, “Elaine Rodriguez?” Andrey nodded. “Oh then I definitely know her.”

“Isn’t she that bitch who told you to dump me?” Mr. Kavinsky mumbled around the mouth of his water bottle as he took a sip.

Mrs. Nikol snorted “You sure you’re not mixing her up with me?”

“Fuck you.”

“How about you go fuck yourself instead?”

“For God’s sake guys,” Mr. Yulian muttered tiredly like he’d heard this exchange a million times before while Albena sat in his lap playing with his hands. “Just shut up.”

Clearing her throat loudly, Mrs. Kavinsky said “Anyways, yes, she’s that Elaine. Former softball teammate.”

“Knew it,” her husband muttered while making a disgusted face. “That bitch.”

“You people are so exasperating,” Emilio’s dad sighed. “Just pay attention to the game.”

“Yeah,” Alicia cut in, all her attention focused on Joseph. “You guys just missed him strike out another dude.”

“I wonder how fast he clocks,” Mr. Yulian said mainly to himself.

“Fast enough,” Anka answered. “Like whoa. I knew Joseph could throw but wow. He’s totally amazing.”

“Make sure he takes care of his arm,” Emilio’s mom said, “Pitchers suffer a lot more than other players from the stress they place on their arms. They get the worst injuries.”

Fixing her ponytail, Mrs. Kavinsky replied “Trust me. Been there. I’ve been keeping an eye on him though. I always make sure he rests up. He’s barely started, not to go screw his arm up already.”

Turning his attention back to the game in front of him, Emilio stomach dropped in disappointment when an opposing player hit the ball. His mood brightened less than a second later when Joseph caught the ball in his mitt.

“Out!”

  

* * *

 

Now?

Now Joseph really was terrified.

Because now it was his team’s turn to bat.

His skills were good but just with the thought of so many people watching him, Joseph couldn’t help the fear invading him.

Gnawing on his lip while steadying his breaths, Joseph decided that he’d get himself as much as time as possible before he had to bat. He made sure to walk all the way to the back of the dugout and sat down in the relative quiet away from everyone. Scratching his hair, he thought happy thoughts.

Peanut, books, his grandfather, his parents, Emilio’s smile-

Joseph stopped and slapped his forehead. “That doesn’t apply,” he mumbled to himself. “Not allowed, idiot.”

“What’s not allowed?”

He jumped a little at being disturbed and turned to Coach Rodriguez who sat beside him. _What’s up with this lady? Jesus, leave me in peace._ “Uh, nothing.”

Nodding while looking at him, she asked “You okay?”

“Yeah, fine,” he smiled convincingly. Or hopefully convincingly.

“Nice pitches. That was fantastic.”

“Thanks,” Joseph laughed in his pride for himself. They definitely were nice pitches.

“Arm feeling good? I wanna put you in for fourth or fifth.”

“I should be fine by then. It’s just a bit sore right now but it should be good by the fourth inning.”

“Great!” She cheered while clapping him on the back in ‘camaraderie.’ “You got skills, kid.”

Rubbing his back a bit, he mumbled “Thanks. You got iron strength.”

Laughing as she stood, Coach replied “It does me good! Stay alert! We’re batting you know!”

“Never woulda guessed,” he muttered as she walked away to go talk to other players.

Rolling his shoulder, Joseph massaged the joint carefully. It ached quite a bit actually. That and his elbow. But that was to be expected when you pitched. He didn’t think it was such a big deal. Plus, this was the first game, he wasn’t going to seem like a whiner just because of some arm pain.

He’d deal with it. It was what came with the sport. Although he was thinking that skipping practice yesterday would have been a good idea when his elbow twinged a bit as he stretched.

Just a tiny bit. No big deal.

Focusing back on the game, Joseph watched as his teammates ran the bases when Tim hit the ball far into left field. They had a person on first and second. Maybe they’d fully load and then someone would hit a good one, getting them all home.

Micah came and sat beside him in his disappointment at getting struck out. “That totally sucked.”

What sucked was Joseph’s ability to give out pity and support. It looked like Micah was fishing for some though. “No biggie. It happens. You’ll hit the next one.”

“I guess.” He turned to look at Joseph and said “Nice job with pitching, by the way. You were awesome.”

Smiling, Joseph replied “Thanks. I kinda ache from it but I should be fine by fourth.”

Looking at him curiously, Micah asked “Coach is putting you back in?”

“That’s what she said. Either fourth of fifth. Why?”

“I don’t think she should. Don’t you think you should rest?”

The other boys concern was incredibly flattering. “I’ll rest in between. I’ll be fine.”

His thick dark eyebrows scrunched in his worry. “I don’t know… but if you say so. But if something twinges, you oughta tell coach.”

“No problem.”

 

 

Come fourth inning and Joseph realized that maybe he should have listened to Micah. His shoulder still wasn’t feeling that great. His elbow either.

But he really didn’t want to disappoint anyone.

He could do this.

Walking out to the pitcher’s mound, he rolled the baseball in hand and loosened his shoulder to the best of his abilities. He stretched out his elbow too while ignoring the slight flash of pain he felt there. The last thing Joseph wanted was to be the complainer from the first game.

His mouth would stay shut. All he had to do was focus on pitching.

  

* * *

 

Taking off his hat and scratching under it before replacing it, Emilio felt a bit of surprise that Joseph was back on the pitcher’s mound. Didn’t pitchers only get a certain amount of pitches before they had like mandatory rest or something?

Apparently, Mr. Kavinsky was thinking the same thing as he sat up straighter with a look on his face as he realized what he was seeing. Pointing, he said “That’s Joseph.”

“Duh,” Ms. Nikol uttered before eating a potato chip. Albena stretched out her hand for one. When Alondra noticed that Albena just got a chip, she stuck out her hand too. Smiling, Ms. Nikol obliged and handed her one of her own to his sister’s delight.

“No, bitch, I mean he shouldn’t be there.”

“Ivo,” Mrs. Kavinsky snapped at him, a spark of anger flashing quickly through her eyes.

“Your sister is capable of defending herself,” he snorted while rolling his eyes. “The important point here that you all seem to be missing is that Joseph shouldn’t be on the mound.”

“Why not?” Linda asked after she watched Joseph pitch another fastball.

“Because he’s already done an inning. His arm needs rest and shouldn’t be put under more stress.”

“He seems fine,” Andrey noted.

Mrs. Kavinsky sipped her soda then added “Elaine shouldn’t have put him out again.”

Stretching his leg out, her husband said “Told you she’s a bitch.”

 

 

It was the last inning and Joseph’s team was on the offense with Joseph up to bat. In the other innings, he did well enough but nothing really amazing like the way he pitched. More like ‘just okay.’

But now Joseph’s team was down by two with two outs already and the bases were loaded. The amount of pressure on Joseph this second was insane. He needed to tap into whatever he had left.

Emilio felt bad for him and hoped that he wasn’t panicking too much. He tried to send telepathic good vibes to his friend. Obviously, they probably did nothing but it was worth trying.

“Crap,” Mr. Kavinsky muttered, probably thinking everything that Emilio was. “Shit, I hope he hits. Shit, shit.” He tapped his fingers on his knee; that was the only thing that showed his worry. “Crap.”

“Cursing doesn’t exactly help,” his father said while having a nervous but hopeful look on his face.

They all watched while on the edge of their seats as Joseph took stance and waited for the pitch. The pitcher reared back and threw a fast one.

“Strike!”

“Shit,” Ms. Nikol muttered while biting her nail.

“Look at us agreeing,” Mr. Kavinsky said while watching the field with full attention.

Taking stance again and wriggling his shoulder a bit, Joseph waited for the next one.

“Strike!”

“Crap!” Ivet shouted in her frustration. Everyone turned to look at the very angry soul with them with wide eyes. Rolling her eyes at them, she stood up, cupping her hands around her mouth, and shouted with all her might “COME ON, JOSEPH! I SWEAR I WILL KICK YOUR ASS IF YOU DON’T HIT IT!”

Laughter erupted from everyone including the people sitting around them. Joseph actually turned to the stands with a smile on his face and did something Emilio didn’t expect.

He flipped Ivet off.

“Did he just…” Mrs. Kavinsky trailed in shock as Joseph turned back around.

Mr. Kavinsky was laughing while Mr. Yulian shook his head in what Emilio assumed was disappointment. “Dear God, he’s so you that it’s sickening.”

Still laughing, Mr. Kavinsky replied with good humor and a smile “Aw, but I thought we’ve reached the level of possible like, Yulian!”

“Tolerance maybe.”

“You’re supposed to give positive support, Ivet,” Emilio’s mom laughed. “Not threats.”

“Nah,” she shook her head. “That’s more Emilio’s style not mine. But we can mix them if you want.” Nudging Emilio with her foot, Ivet said “Give him an encouraging shout.”

Shrugging because he’d be more than happy to, Emilio stood and shouted “KICK THEIR ASSES, JOSEPH!” He added a whoop for extra affect.

Choking on his laughs, his father said “Because we are all in such good rooting spirits, I’ll let that one slide.”

“Aw,” he smiled in that sarcastic way that Mr. Kavinsky does, “You’re the best, papi!”

“Ivo, stay away from my kids,” his mom snorted in her amusement. “You’re infecting them.”

“In a good way,” Joseph’s father smiled as he focused back on the field when the pitcher gave his final stretch and reared his arm back.

Everyone in the stadium held their breaths for the millisecond it took for the ball to reach Joseph.

And jumped to their feet in excitement when there was a crack of ball and wood.

Joseph dropped the bat fast as he ran to first. His teammates were making their own way with everyone dashing for home before the ball came back from right field.

“RUN!” Practically half the stadium shouted along with the coaches and the other teammates.

They shouted in joy when Joseph slid home before the catcher could touch base. He jumped to his feet in seconds as he jumped in his excitement and utter happiness. His teammates crowded him in their joy and delight.

9 – 7.

Home’s win.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')


	98. Chapter 97

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> Broseph and bromilio. (smile Goldfish)  
> That's all there is
> 
> Okay not really buuutt those two dorks are the best
> 
> Bonus kiss but probs not who you're expecting  
> Enjoy!
> 
> _“I’m only as weird as you make me.”_

Chugging down his water bottle, Joseph sat on the bench of the lockers and yanked off his shoes to give his feet a few minutes to relax. They ached like crazy. But that was the least of his pain because his shoulder and elbow were up to the point of throbbing. Pretty much his whole arm was throbbing but those were the worst.

“Listen up!” Coach Rodriguez called over the noise of the team. “Wash up, change if you want, and tell your parents were all going for pizza.” There were whoops of delight at this revelation. “You guys sure as heck earned it. Nice job all of you!”

Joseph would prefer going home and icing his arm while dying in bed but pizza was good too. His guests were a lot of people though, hopefully coach wouldn’t mind much.

When a clap came upon his shoulder, his yelp this time was from pain instead of surprise. God that hurt. Maybe he should ask for ice? _At the pizza parlor. I’ll fill up a bag or something._ Smiling to his coach, he said “Hi.”

She laughed whole-heartedly and replied “Hey! Full stop, kid, you were amazing. I’m real proud of the work you did. And that last hit? Beautiful.”

“It was a combination of luck and terror of getting beaten up by a friend. Don’t praise me too much,” he laughed as he scratched his sweaty head. There was no point in changing because he’d just end up getting his clothes all gross but he’d at least wash all this sweat off.

“Good incentives! But seriously, well done.”

“Thank you.”

Grinning wide, she clapped him one more time to his distress and said as she stood “I’ll leave you guys to change then.” Turning to the whole room as she walked out, she called “Don’t take forever! I’m starving!”

Rolling his shoulder and messaging it, Joseph got up to wash all the sweat and dirt off himself. A shower would be awesome right about now but he’d have to settle with just a rinse of what he could. The cold water would feel fantastic.

 

 

He walked out of the locker room with backpack and other pair of shoes in hand, feeling much cleaner and fresher than he had ten minutes ago. His bag, he made sure, was on his right shoulder instead of the left. Pitching two innings was a stupid idea.

His family was standing a little ways off, talking amongst themselves. His mother saw him first and let out this really odd sounding squeal that Joseph figured was supposed to be happy sounding. She didn’t exactly run but it was definitely faster than a walk as she crashed into him, hugging him tight while his shoulder screamed in pain.

“You were so awesome! Well done!”

Praise always felt extra nice from his parents. “Thank you,” he said tiredly as he hugged her back. “I’m just about dead right now. I could drop.”

Unraveling herself from him, she asked “Do you want some water?”

Shaking his head no, Joseph said “I chugged like four bottles, I’m good.”

“Jesus Christ, brat, you were fucking amazing,” his father complimented when he reached them. “Like holy shit, I’m proud as fuck.”

Joseph’s face grew into a ginormous grin from his father’s praise. “Really?”

“Really,” he laughed. “Although I don’t see why that has to be confirmed, thank you.”

“You were totally awesome, my broseph.” Despite his exhaustion, Joseph couldn’t help but laugh at his best friend’s words. Emilio had a giant smile on his face and knocked knuckles with him. “Awwwesome.”

Giving his bag and shoes to his mother who held out her hand for them, Joseph asked “What in the world is a broseph?”

“You. Duh. You are my bro and you’re a Joseph. Hence, broseph.”

“Oh Jesus,” his father snorted while rolling his eyes.

“Soo,” Joseph trailed, “Are you bromilio?”

He was rewarded with the most beautiful sounding laugh ever. “I mean, sure. That works.”

Turning to his parents, he told them about the pizza. “Can we go?”

“Do you want to?” Tétka asked from where she stood and had been listening. “You look ready to just die on the floor.”

“Pizza should always be taken advantage of. Even in death.”

 

 

There was a large amount of people in the parlor – it was the combination of the team and their families. It was crowded but everyone made it work.

“Oh my God, Vesela!”

Joseph turned and stared at his coach who… apparently knew his mother?

“Elaine,” his mom smiled as they hugged out their hellos. “How are you? Really long time no see, huh?”

“Such an understatement,” Coach laughed. “I’m good! I should have known this brilliant pitcher had to have someone helping him out.”

“Nah, I just helped with the batting. My boy got pure talent.”

His coach snorted a laugh and said “Still smug as hell. People really don’t change. Not that I’m saying it’s a bad thing.” Her eyes suddenly turned bright. “So who’s the lucky bastard who managed to snag hard headed Vesela Dobrev and give you this talented child?”

“Walking through the door actually,” his mother nodded in that direction.

The noise that came out of his coach when she turned to look at his father walking in sounded a bit like a mix of disappointment and disproval. “You kept him.”

Apparently, she knew his father too. This was just weird. And…weird. He could tell from Emilio’s face, who was beside him, that he was thinking kind of the same thing. But adult interactions were always interesting, so they watched and listened intently.

When his father looked up from his phone and noticed Coach Rodriguez, a smirk grew on his face as he came to stand beside her. “Why it’s Elaine! Hullooo!”

Crossing her arms, she snorted “Hello guy whose name was never important enough to learn. I think I settled on asshole. It’s appropriate.”

“Ivo,” his father offered with a smile.

“Ivo. You know, I thought Vesela was smarter than that. Or at least she is, except when it comes to you apparently.”

“Amen,” Tétka laughed as she walked to the fountain machine. “A-fucking-men.”

“No one wants your opinion, bitch,” his father called after her. “Keep it to yourself.”

“Will you stop?” his mother hissed in Bulgarian. This must have been going on for awhile if she was reaching the point of getting angry.

“Just saying,” his father shrugged. Turning back to Coach, he said “So you and I have an issue.”

“I’ve had an issue with you the day Vesela introduced you when she and I were in high school. I told her that the older foreign bad boy wasn’t worth her time. She always did disagree.”

Waving her off with his hand as if that didn’t matter, his father countered “No. That’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about Joseph.”

Raising a brow, Joseph looked at his father in confusion. With him?

Coach also looked confused. “What about him?”

“You put him to pitch two innings, that’s what. You’re going to ruin his arm like that. That’s putting way too much stress and pressure on those muscles.”

Nodding her head, Coach replied “I can understand where you’re coming from and I respect it. But I asked him how his arm was and he assured me that he’d be fine. I asked again right before I sent him out and he repeated that he was good. I can’t do much more than that.”

His father looked at her like she was a complete idiot. “Yes, actually, you can. You’re supposed to be the rational adult in the situation and realize that a child is going to say whatever – even if it’s to their discomfort – if it means making people happy.”

A faint blush overtook his cheeks. His father’s words were right; he had been aching when she asked the second time but he didn’t want to disappoint.

“He seems smarter than that.”

Huffing in exasperation, his father pointed out “It’s not a question of intelligence. It’s a matter of not wanting to disappoint. There’s a difference.”

She opened her mouth to say more but Joseph just wanted this to end. He was exhausted and hungry and wanted ice for his arm. “I’m really fine, tatko.”

Turning to look at him with skepticism written all over his face, he said “Oh?”

“Yeah.”

Stretching his arm out to Joseph’s – he knew what was coming but didn’t brace himself in time – his father squeezed down on his shoulder. Joseph tried to hold down his yelp of pain as he flinched away but it didn’t work.

“You need to ice that.”

Rubbing his shoulder very carefully, Joseph snorted and walked to the cashier with Emilio by his side. His friend also had a few things to say. “If you’re hurting, why’d you say yes?”

“Because.”

“That’s not an answer.”

“It’ll work for now,” he muttered when his turn came up. Smiling to the lady, he asked “Can I have two bags if you’ve got? And it’s okay that I get ice?”

Smiling sweetly as she took out two bags from under the counter, the redhead replied “Sore, huh?”

“Yup,” he laughed to upkeep his level of charm. He’d been working on it a lot recently. Alicia’s eyes had been sparkling quite a bit lately so he must be doing good.

“Here you go and rest up.”

“Thank you,” he replied after taking the bags from her. He handed one to Emilio and asked “Can you fill that one for me, bromilio?”

Choking on his laugh as he took the bag, Emilio answered “Yes, of course, broseph. I’m always here for my one and only homeboy.”

“You’re a dork,” Joseph snorted. “But in a good way that I like so don’t worry about it.”

He could have sworn a blush flitted on Emilio’s cheeks. However, he wasn’t entirely sure. Maybe he was just imagining what he really wished would happen. Shaking his head to clear his stupid thoughts, Joseph stuck the bag under the ice chute and pushed the lever to fill it. Emilio did the same and they each tied their bag.

Sitting down on the table where Ivet, his cousins, and Emilio’s sisters were, Joseph stretched out his arm on the tabletop as Emilio sat beside him. Joseph placed his bag of ice on his elbow and Emilio very kindly held the bag to his shoulder. He incredibly appreciated it.

“I’m pooped, guys.”

Ivet, who was sitting on his other side, murmured “You look it. But you were awesome.”

“Thank you,” he grinned. God, did he love all these praises and compliments. It was the best thing ever. “Your form of motivation really worked, by the way. Yours to,” he said, turning to Emilio who was still holding the ice for him.

Did he imagine that blush too? He was too tired to really know or analyze anything right now. Brain power wasn’t available at the moment.

“Your welcome,” Emilio replied with his eyes sparkling. “But let’s be real, it was probably Ivet’s threat that worked on you. She can be terrifying.”

“For sure,” Anka chimed in.

Looking just slightly annoyed, Ivet cut in “I can be sweet too.” Linda let out a snort of disbelief which furthered Ivet’s irritation. “I can too.”

“Prove it,” Alicia said around her bite of pizza.

“Okay,” Ivet shrugged. “Hey, Joseph?”

What he was expecting when he turned his head to her was some kind of compliment or something.

What he actually got was an entirely different story as lips pressed to his. Being that this was his first kiss and with someone he never ever expected, he froze with wide eyes. Ivet’s eyes were closed softly and Joseph figured he should close his too so he didn’t look weird. When he did, he felt her tongue slip between her lips and slide on his own.

His heart was beating fast but it was more because he was so confused, not because this was some life changing amazing experience or something. There were no sparks or little flashes of delight going through him. Wasn’t that what was supposed to happen when people kissed?

Her tongue was still licking over his lips and Joseph decided that maybe he should do something similar. How kisses were supposed to go, he had no clue but he’d give it his best shot.

She made a tiny noise when his tongue slipped out. Did he just…push it between her lips? Why had he never realized that kissing was so technical and complicated?

Pushing his tongue into her mouth, he explored it tentatively. Were kisses supposed to be weird? This was weird. Ivet did the same and now their tongues were sliding against each other. His mind barely registered the disappearance of cold on his shoulder.

Maybe his brain thought this was weird but his body was maybe considering liking it because he felt something going on in his pants that did not need to be happening right now. Kind of funny he couldn’t get the height but he got the stupid boner hormones. Nothing else was excited except his dick. And because right now it wasn’t exactly the smartest on account of all the hormones fluttering it, Joseph didn’t trust it was because he wasn’t gay.

It was just an involuntary reaction.

Because this kiss, as nice as it maybe was, didn’t make him feel anything. Joseph just knew that sparks were supposed to be happening. He was supposed to get lightheaded and not have any breath to breathe.

Slowly breaking apart, Joseph opened his eyes and stared at Ivet who had done the same. There was a huge smile on her face as she said “You taste _really_ good. Wow.”

Blushing from his embarrassment, Joseph asked “Why?”

“Why do you taste good? I don’t know but I loved it.”

“No,” he huffed. “Why did you kiss me?”

Shrugging, she replied as she turned back to her food as though nothing just happened “I wanted to see how you tasted. And prove that I could be sweet.”

He was about to mention how that made no sense, but it seemed Alicia needed to get her words in first as she spoke up from where he was seated across from them.

“Okay, one?” Alicia said angrily – Joseph was amazed by how pissed she looked – she also wasn’t the one who looked angry. Well, Andrey just looked more hurt than mad. “You can’t just kiss someone ‘cause you feel like it. Two? How does that even prove you’re sweet?”

“Sounds like someone’s jealous,” Ivet snorted. “You wanna kiss him, then kiss him. Being a blushing schoolgirl makes you seem like an idiot.”

Joseph’s face turned even redder. He didn’t want to be in for this conversation anymore.

Now Alicia was officially pissed. “Don’t be a jerk.”

Giving another shrug, Ivet said “Don’t be sensitive.”

“You’re being mean, Ivet,” Anka disdained. “I don’t like it, so stop.”

“Ohhkay,” Joseph interrupted as he stood, taking the ice off his elbow, “I think I’m finished with all this conversation. When you feel like not being a jerk, Ivet, lemme know. I’ll come back.”

“Whatever. Thanks for the kiss. Technique needs work but not bad.”

Rolling his eyes, he nodded to the door to Emilio. It was too crowded inside anyways. They walked out and sat on the curb with Joseph placing the ice bag once more on his elbow and Emilio doing the same for his shoulder. They were quiet for a time until his friend broke the silence.

“Did you like it?”

Turning his head to look at him, Joseph muttered “Huh?”

“The kiss,” Emilio mumbled. It was probably because he was tired that he thought that Emilio looked kinda upset or something. “Did you like it.”

He was gonna shrug but then remembered his arm. “Honestly? It was eh. Like it was a good kiss, I guess, buuut it was just…eh. Not because she sucked at kissing, although I wouldn’t really know since that was my first, but it wasn’t like sparkly or whatever. You get it?”

There was no way he imagined the happiness in Emilio’s voice. He couldn’t be that exhausted. “I get it! Totally makes sense.” Sounding much more chipper, Emilio asked “So just eh, huh?”

“Yeah. Don’t tell Ivet; she’ll murder me.”

Laughing, Emilio said “No worries. I got you my _broseph_.”

He couldn’t stop the snort of laughter that erupted from him. “Got you too my _bromilio_.” Laughing again, Joseph added “You, my friend, are something else.”

“But in a good way.”

“Obviously.”

“Niiice.” Emilio was silent for a minute before he asked “So Ivet’s probs not gonna be your girlfriend?”

Eyes going wide, Joseph shook his head vehemently. “No way dude. She’s extra pretty but no. She’s like a sister and now that I say that, it makes that kiss super weird.” Curiosity burned in him. Emilio had mentioned girls before sometimes when he thought someone was pretty. “Do you think about having a girlfriend?”

Surprisingly, Emilio didn’t seem to appreciate this question. It was weird but Joseph didn’t feel like thinking about it. “No,” he finally mumbled while turning to look out to the street. Despite trying his best to always ignore his gayness, Joseph was excited by this response. “Not really. You?”

“Nah,” he lied. Emilio didn’t need to know that he was considering dating his sister. “Or at least, not yet. Who knows about later.”

“Yeah.”

Did he still want to try with Alicia? The kiss had just proved that Joseph had no interest in girls. Getting the start of a boner didn’t count because that was out of his hands. He knew that kisses weren’t supposed to feel the way it had. There was something special to them and it hadn’t happened with Ivet.

But was it because she was Ivet or because she was a girl?

The only way to know was to kiss a different girl and compare.

Guess he still needed Alicia.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')


	99. Chapter 98

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> This chpt is...weird...I don't know exactly what it is to be honest. But when you dabble in the world of dreams I guess you should expect weird right? Especially when the creator gave you no information whats so ever on it...Creative license happens. Maybe it's the turn of Joseph's subconscious  
> Idk
> 
> Enjoy?
> 
> _“I don’t need anyone’s help.”_

Joseph stretched the fabric between his hands. It seemed good. Nice compression and cool to the touch; maybe this one was a winner. The sleeve was only his second try but he didn’t want to have to go yet again. His head was aching.

Stretching out his left arm, Joseph pulled the dreamed up compression sleeve on. It was supposed to halt the pain while giving a nice icing feel that wasn’t overpowering. Also, that wouldn’t cause frostbite if he kept it on for a long time.

The first one he had dreamed was way too cold.

But this one felt good, he thought, as he stretched his arm back and forth while wearing it. The pain had actually subsided and there was this relaxing cold just resting at the surface.

“Success.” He showed his arm to Peanut who was watching him from the bed. “Success, girl. I’m getting good at all this dream stuff, you know.”

He was whispering because it was the middle of the night. Tomorrow – well actually today – was the last game of the season. Joseph’s arm was in so much pain lately that he’d literally cry when he got home from practice or games. But he refused to tell coach to give him a break or shorter plays.

All he wanted to be was liked by everyone. Being an awesome pitcher gave him that and he wasn’t giving it up for anything. So far he had managed to hide it from his parents and now that the season was practically done, his arm would get the rest he needed.

Joseph liked to think he was good at solving his own problems.

Moving his arm around some more, Joseph realized that he did a real good job with this dream object. It was perfect.

Taking it off, he set it on his dresser for tomorrow – today. Stretching his entire body now, Joseph knew he wasn’t going to be able to go to sleep. There was just no way. While he got exhausted from dreaming, he never seemed to be able to get sleep after that. It was like his body decided that he got one or the other – sleep or dreams.

Throwing himself in bed, Joseph shut his eyes in hope that maybe he’d get lucky today. He wanted to have some energy for today’s game and for that he needed some sleep.

 

Flicking his eyes open, he groaned in disappointment.

He was in the forest.

Typically, that was exciting for him. But he was serious about both his exhaustion and headache. Sighing, he sat up and looked around to see if anything important stuck out. Nothing caught his eye, so he stood and sighed once more. Forest says there’s something, then there’s something. Even if he had to go searching for it.

Walking around through the lush grass while looking into bushes and around trees, Joseph suddenly realized what that funny feeling he had been feeling was.

It felt like he was being watched.

Turning slowly, he gazed around for some animal watching him. There was nothing – no sound, no movement. But he couldn’t shake the feeling; something had to be here. It was odd because usually nothing was here unless he willed it but really anything was possible in a world that he didn’t fully understand.

“Hello?”

There, of course, was no response. He hadn’t really expected there to be one, if he was honest.

Swallowing down the weird feeling, Joseph turned back to his walk only to halt once more when the hairs on his neck rose to the snap of a twig. Something was definitely behind him.

Breathing carefully, he slowly turned, his heart beating fast. His forest had never been something he was afraid of but things could easily change. It was all up to the forest ‘god’ and what it wanted. “Hello?”

There was a rustle in the far bush that made his heart skip thousands of beats in seconds. _Please be some animal or something._ “Please come out. You’re kinda…freaking me out,” he laughed nervously.

A girl poked her head out. Or… the head was a girl…when the rest of her walked it…he had no idea what the hell he was looking at. “Um…hi.” Did it even speak English? Was it an it or a she?

What was it?

The little girl walked fully out of the bush and cocked her head to the side, watching him. He took the time to look over her carefully.

She was shorter than he was, with flowing flaming red hair. She had…horns? coming out of her head through her waves. He figured what he saw on her skin were scales which he tried to ignore how freaky that was. People just didn’t have iridescent red scales on parts of their body or…horns. Or wings. She had wings. Why did she have wings? Could she fly? They reminded him of dragon wings.

Then there was her tail with spikes on it. If he did drugs, he’d say they did their job and went to his head because this was just insane. She was barefoot and he was pretty sure her nails were claws. He couldn’t help but wonder if they were retractable or not; sort of like Wolverine or something. She wore a long red shirt with leggings underneath.

Probably what freaked him out the most about this dragon creature were her eyes. They weren’t people eyes but reptilian. Dragon eyes.

Straightening her head, she smiled “Hi.”

Trying not to show how utterly scared he was, Joseph asked “Um…who are you? I’ve never seen you before.”

She merely shrugged. “Who are you?”

“Uh, Joseph.”

“Then I’m Joseph.”

Now he was just confused. “Um, okay…soo I call you Joseph? That’s kinda weird.”

Blinking at him like he was stupid, she replied “I’m only as weird as you make me.”

“Uh…ohkaay. Then if I get to choose…can I call you Diana? I like that name.”

“Then I’m Diana.”

This was making absolutely no sense but he decided to roll with it. “Okay, Diana, have you always been here? Or did you just come now?”

“I’m here when I need to be.” Joseph could have sworn she had pointy teeth. Creepy.

“That’s cool,” he replied, trying to ignore how possibly scary that was. Why did she need to be here today? “I don’t ever have to be lonely then.”

He definitely didn’t like how she laughed at him. “You’re always going to be lonely. Don’t you know that, silly?”

Biting his lip, he replied “I’m not lonely. I have family and friends. That’s not lonely.”

Shaking her head with her long locks moving with her, Diana snorted “You are always alone and always will be. Don’t be stupid.” She walked over and stood in front of him, smiling with her creepily sharp teeth. “You shouldn’t abuse power, Joseph.”

“Abuse…?”

“Why do you keep taking and taking and taking? No one gave you permission. You didn’t even ask.”

“Taking? Do you mean my dream stuff? Isn’t that what I’m supposed to do? Take?” Was she forest ‘god’? He hoped not; she was terrifying even though she was smaller than he was.

She put her finger on the hallow of his throat and flicked out a claw slowly. _Retractable…_ “No one gave you permission,” she repeated. “Punishment is due, yes?”

Fear trickled through his as he felt his eyes open wide. “Punishment?” he whispered. “I didn’t know I was doing anything wrong.”

Diana smiled again and said “But Joseph, you’re always wrong. About everything. Why do you keep acting like you don’t know things? You’re alone, you’re wrong, you’re un ugly nasty mistake. Just because you’ve been pushing it down all these months doesn’t mean it’s not true. No one can hide from the truth.”

Grabbing her hand, he pulled it away from his throat but held tight. “That’s not the truth.”

Her eyes turned to slits and flamed at where he grabbed her hand. “Don’t abuse the hand that feeds you, silly little boy.” Yanking her hand away, Diana began to…

Morph?

Terrified wasn’t even what he was anymore as she no longer seemed human and became much more dragon. Was there a stronger word than terrified? He couldn’t think straight at the moment and honestly? It sure as hell didn’t matter.

Punishment was due.

Diana – the dragon – glared at him through slits of eyes. It wasn’t large but obviously he had never met a dragon and meeting one that seemed to hate him was not cool.

He ran like hell.

  

* * *

 

She jolted awake to screams. Nasty blood curdling screams that she hadn’t heard in months. Hell, maybe a couple years now.

Jumping out of bed with Ivo startling awake beside her, Vesela ran to Joseph’s room. “Joseph!” Slamming his door open, she saw him lost in whatever hell he was in, screaming and struggling in his covers.

Ivo flicked on the light behind her as she reached her child and tried to shake him awake. “Baby, wake up! It’s just a dream, I swear! Wake up!”

It took a few more horrible minutes of screams before his eyes flicked open, terror overtaking the beauty of them. He stared at her with wide eyes before he screamed again and slammed himself into his headboard to get away from her.

That was new. It’d never happened before.

His face was redder than a tomato as he screamed “Get away! Away, away, AWAY!”

That definitely had never happened before.

Trying her best to stay calm in face of a scary new situation, Vesela moved a little closer. “Baby, it’s mayko. You’re awake.” She tried to reach for him but he screamed again and backed harder into the wall.

She reached out further but Ivo grasped her arm and shook his head. He didn’t get closer but said carefully and slowly to Joseph “Joseph, brat, you’re here, you’re home. It’s just me and mayko, alright?”

Hiccupping on his tears, Joseph shook his head vehemently and begged “Please get out. Please, please, pleeeaase.”

“Okay,” Ivo said quietly, “We’ll leave,” he squeezed her hand tight because he knew she was going to say object. “We’ll leave and we’re going to be right outside the door. When you’re ready, open the door for us, okay?”

On the verge of hyperventilating, Joseph nodded quickly. She hoped he’d actually listen and that he wasn’t just saying that to get them to leave. Both she and Ivo back out slowly and Joseph didn’t move an inch before they were out the door and had closed it behind themselves. In seconds, the lock clicked.

They both slid down onto the floor, staring at the opposite wall of the hall.

“What if he doesn’t open,” she whispered while trying to hold back her tears. Dear God, did she never want to hear such terrified screams coming from her little boy again. She was so happy when his nightmares ultimately stopped or were just minor where he’d wake up with only a trickle of fear.

“Then I break down this fucking door.”

Biting her thumbnail, she said “How long until that?”

Resting his head on the wall and staring up at the ceiling, Ivo replied “Hour maybe.”

She didn’t like that answer. “That’s too long.”

“We need to give him time. If we just barge in when we said we would wait, he might get upset. We don’t need to add that to the rest of whatever the hell just happened.”

“What just happened, though? He’s had nightmares for years and never anything like that has happened.”

Tuning her head, she watched Ivo as he gazed at the ceiling, lost in his thoughts or thinking of an answer for her. Which, she didn’t know and honestly didn’t really care. Her question was more rhetorical than anything else. How would Ivo have an answer for her?

The silence stretched on to the point that she jumped a little when Ivo’s voice broke it. “Maybe he’s just a little lost in his head. It happens.”

Leaning her head on her husband’s shoulder, she listened to the faint sound of Joseph’s cries. She was so close and she wasn’t even allowed to comfort him through them; it wasn’t fair. “It happens,” she repeated.

Resting his head on hers, he murmured “Yeah. It happens.”

 _You would know._ Vesela wasn’t stupid; she knew something was wrong with Ivo mentally. Would she ever admit it? Fuck no. If anyone ever asked, she’d deny anything and everything. Admit she was married to a crazy man? Yeah okay. Hell would have to freeze over first.

She just hoped he hadn’t caused whatever the hell is wrong with him to carry over to their child. Joseph didn’t need to be his father in everything. Hopefully genetics had been kind.

  

* * *

 

He wasn’t sure how much time had passed but eventually, Joseph was able to calm himself down. Steady breaths, stuffed animals, and Peanut worked wonders. Sniffling on the running snot from his cries, Joseph rubbed his eyes and took a deep breath before he took stock of the damage he needed to fix and hide.

Putting his stuffed animals on the bed beside him, he looked at his bloody arms. Luckily, all the cuts had stopped bleeding so that had to mean that they weren’t really serious. His tshirt wasn’t too bloody on the front so that also had to mean that those wounds weren’t severe either.

Carefully stripping off his ruined and shredded shirt, Joseph looked down at his chest, carefully poking around the bigger of the slashes. It ran from his collarbone down to his belly button. The blood wasn’t flowing but it was still not entirely clogged in some parts that were probably deeper.

Once Diana had caught him, she had pinned him down to the floor and flipped him onto his back. Fear had ran through him like nothing else as she laughed and said she was going to prove that he was alone.

Because no one was coming to save him.

And no one had.

He was as horribly alone as he had always known.

Wiping away the tears, he focused back on his examination. The large cut was probably his worst wound but he could fix it himself. All he needed was to clean everything and then tape some gauze on them.

Problem solved.

It was only a few weeks until summer but the weather in Hoboken was still beautiful, so him wearing light long sleeves wouldn’t be seen as weird.

Practically jumping out of his skin when there was a knock on his door, Joseph remembered that his parents were still outside. Typically, having them with him after a nightmare was fantastic but he had no idea how he could possibly explain all the cuts and blood.

They definitely couldn’t find out.

“I’m not ready yet,” he said quietly into the night.

There was silence on the other side of the door before his father replied “Okay. We’ll wait. Take your time.”

“Thanks,” Joseph whispered not really caring if they heard it or not.

Slowly getting out of bed, he noticed that he had gotten smears of blood on his sheets. Shoving off all his pillows and animals – Peanut included – Joseph yanked everything off, putting the dirty sheets in one pile to the side. He’d get to those later.

Walking into his bathroom, he flicked on the light and looked at the mess of his face in the mirror. He blinked at himself for awhile before shaking his head and getting back to the task at hand. Joseph pulled out the first aid kit he had stashed under his sink and sat on the floor, cleaning up his arms and chest. Once that was done, he used the waterproof tape and stuck gauze where it needed to go.

Putting everything away, he looked at his handiwork in the mirror.

“Not bad,” he whispered, looking closely and checking to make sure all the gauze sat comfortably and correctly.

He washed his face and then walked out of the bathroom to the closet, pulling out a long sleeve. Slipping it on, Joseph checked to make sure all the gauze didn’t look weird or bulky underneath. Finding himself satisfied, he breathed deep and went back to cleaning his bed. Joseph grabbed the sheets and shoved them in his closet for now while setting the pillows back on and the top blanket which had escaped soiling.

Satisfied with his cleanup, Joseph went to his door and unlocked it. Opening it, he came face to face with his parents sitting in the hallway. “Umm, you guys can come in now.”

They both blinked at him before they looked at each other and then stood. Joseph retreated to his bed, sitting down beside Peanut while clutching Mr. Cat close.

Sitting down beside him, his mother tentatively hugged him close, kissing his hair as she did. She was probably worried that he was going to scream and shun her again. He wasn’t; he was ready and clear headed now. Joseph simply leaned into her, breathing in the wonderful scent that made her her.

“You okay?” She whispered, “Okay now?”

No, no he wasn’t but he didn’t want to tell her that. “A little.”

“When do I get my hug?” His father muttered from where he settled himself on the floor in front of them.

“I’m not finished,” his mother replied, light humor in her voice. “Wait your turn.”

Joseph wasn’t finished either as he pressed himself as close as he possibly could. Wasn’t them being here proof that he wasn’t alone? He thought it was but according to Diana, they didn’t apply. They were only here because they had to. No one actually wanted him.

He didn’t like how she seemed to know all of his inner thoughts. How she gave voice to them and reminded him how truly worthless he really was. How much he really really hated himself for everything that he was.

She was right. He was just a nasty ugly mistake; completely worthless and important to no one. Joseph had been getting too comfortable in his life – too reliant on the lie that he was actually someone who was worth looking at. Worth peoples’ time and someone that people wanted to not only be around but love too.

Diana had said that she comes when she is needed to. She had needed to, Joseph realized.

Because he had been so caught up in his lie that he had actually started to believe it. Believe that he was more than just a sinful gay mistake that no one had wanted in the first place. That he had family and friends and was loved.

How stupid could he get?

Thanks needed to be given to the dragon girl; she’d reopened his eyes to the reality of the world he was stuck in.

_Thank you, Diana_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')


	100. Chapter 99

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> Technically we've reached 100 chpts if you include the prologue! Milestone!
> 
> Just Thursday this week because...I got a three day special planned next week! The chpts are just our regular programming but Eid is next week so if I did the 12 days of Christmas, I'm def doing the three days of Eid. Get happy y'all  
> Enjoy today's angst!
> 
> _“Hey, hey, it’s your snot.”_

Staring up at the ceiling, Joseph wished he still had his grandfather. That was a common wish that occurred daily but he really needed him now. Even if his grandfather knew absolutely nothing on how the dream power worked, at least Joseph had someone to talk to about it. It was someone to help him shoulder the heavy burden and just listen, even when they didn’t understand.

It had crossed his mind a thousand times over this morning to tell Emilio. If anyone would not only listen but also believe him, it was his best friend. But then it occurred to him that while Emilio was one of the most fantastic people to ever exist, even he wouldn’t go as far as believing that Joseph was some magical person that could take things from his dreams.

No one would believe that.

He was very much alone.

Obviously, he hadn’t gone to school. The game was to start any minute now but his mother had called and let coach know that he wasn’t going to be able to make it. Coach Rodriguez had been disappointed but she said that whether they won or lost, they were going for pizza and ice cream after and he was invited.

Joseph would survive without them. He hadn’t even left his room so far today. All he had done was lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. Time passed slowly because of that but it didn’t matter.

There was a knock at his door even though it was open and his mother walked in. “Hey, can I join you?”

“Whatever.”

The mattress dipped as she got on next to him, sleeping on her side and running her fingers through his messy hair. “How you doing?”

“I’m fine.” He actually had no clue how he was. However, that seemed like a good answer for a woman who constantly worried.

“Doo…you wanna eat something? It’s already the afternoon and you haven’t touched anything.”

“No.”

She refused to be shot down so quickly. “If you don’t want something from here, we can go out and eat. Whatever you want.”

“No.”

“Joseph-”

“No.”

Falling silent, she sighed and copied how he lay, staring up at the ceiling. “No matter what I say,” she said after a moment, “You’re going to say no, aren’t you?”

“N-,” he started only to abruptly stop. He heard a giggle beside him and rolled his eyes. “Very funny.”

“I try.” Sitting up and staring down at him, his mother murmured “Baby, lemme help you.”

“I don’t need anyone’s help.”

“Yes you do.”

He didn’t need anyone; he wasn’t supposed to have anyone. “No.”

From the way she stilled, Joseph could tell she was getting a little frustrated. “Everyone needs someone.”

“I don’t. I’m perfectly fine with myself. By myself.”

“Joseph. If you don’t talk to me and don’t talk to your bashtá, then I’m taking you to a doctor. You need to talk.”

That managed to pull his attention away from the ceiling. That last thing he wanted was to have to talk to a doctor. Glaring at her, he replied “No.”

Clucking her tongue as she got off the bed, his mother called behind herself while leaving the room “It’s not up for debate. I’m calling and you’re going in.”

“Fuck you,” he hissed vehemently as he sat up.

He heard her footsteps stop in the hall. Backtracking back into his doorway, her face was blank as she said “Excuse me?”

“Fuck. You. I’ll add bitch if you’d like.”

Hurt flashed through her crisp emeralds. “That’s what you say to me? Your mother?”

“I can say a lot more, whore.”

Joseph had been hurting all night and morning and now afternoon. Inflicting it on someone was one of the most amazing things ever; the amount of joy he felt at watching the pain and hurt fill her face was fantastic. Watching the beginnings of tears was even better.

It was satisfying.

His mother stood in his doorway, completely speechless, tears running down her face. After a minute, she let out a huff accompanied by some sniffles and went to her room, slamming the door shut.

“Call the doctor, my ass,” he muttered as he got off his bed. He needed air. Walking downstairs, he grabbed a paper from one of the drawers in the kitchen and wrote a note saying he went out. Disappearing wouldn’t be a bright idea despite how angry he was right now.

Grabbing his hat which had been left on the dining table, Joseph slipped on his sneakers and snatched the extra house key from the hook. After unlocking the millions of locks, he walked out, shutting the door behind himself and locking it.

The further away from his prison, the better. All that house ever seemed to contain was problems whether they were his own or not.

He wasn’t sure where he was walking but it didn’t really matter, Joseph just kept on walking. When he bothered to pay attention where he was, he was actually shocked to realize he had walked so far without feeling it. How long had it been?

“Huh…an hour,” he murmured to himself while reading his watch. Definitely did not feel like an hour. It was a nice hour though. All he had done was just enjoy the nice weather; he didn’t think about a thing.

Nice and refreshing.

But now he had to walk another hour just to get home.

Sheesh.

Turning back in the direction of home, Joseph began the long walk back, taking in his surroundings this time. It was only four in the afternoon but Joseph was suddenly nervous at walking through Jersey City alone. It was Jersey City.

Sighing, he picked up the pace a bit. When he left the house, he should have walked in the other direction, that way he would have probably stayed mostly in Hoboken. Their house was more or less near the edge of the city line with Jersey City.

He’d made good progress until he bumped into a guy when he had been busy reading street signs. “Sorry, sir,” he said quickly, looking up to his face.

“No worries, kid,” the man smiled. Joseph wasn’t the paranoid type or someone who made connections where there shouldn’t be but…

This dude sure looked like Johnny. Granted, Joseph had seen only those pictures months ago but he didn’t think it’d be such a stretch.

The man continued on his way when Joseph called out “Sir?” He turned around to the sound of Joseph’s voice. “Um…any chance your name is Johnny?”

Surprise etched itself on the man’s face as he walked back over. “Actually, yes. Uh, have we seen each other before?”

Joseph stared at the man who was part of the reason his life was a complete splat of shit. “Are you married?”

Scrunching his thick brows, Johnny replied “Look, kid-”

“Just answer, please,” he interrupted.

Looking slightly annoyed – Joseph didn’t really blame him; no one wanted some random kid asking questions – Johnny finally said “Girlfriend.”

“Brown hair, green eyes? Average height?”

“That’s her. Beautiful.” His face was full of suspicion along with a touch of confusion.

“Hmm, yeah, I think so too and so does her husband,” Joseph snarled, his anger bubbling to the surface. Johnny’s eyes went wide at both the tone and the revelation that Joseph knew he was with a married woman. “Can you just fuck off, please?”

Hazel eyes narrowing with thought, Johnny said carefully “You Joseph?”

Balling his fists, he hissed “Yes, actually. Leave my mom alone, please.”

Johnny’s face took one of sympathy and Joseph really hated that. He didn’t want this stupid man’s pity. Pointing to a bench, he asked “Can we sit?”

Clenching his jaw tight, Joseph grated “Fine.”

They sat down on the bench, Johnny watching him and Joseph watching the street, his fists still clenched tight. Maybe this whole thing was a stupid idea.

“Listen, Joseph. I get that maybe it’s weird or difficult to understand but I really love your mother. I’ve loved her for years. We’ve known each other since high school and I’ve loved her since then.”

“Fantastic. I don’t give a shit. Leave her alone.”

After a minute of quiet passed, Johnny said softly “Joseph, if your mom didn’t want to see me, she wouldn’t. No one’s forcing anyone.”

He already knew that, but putting the blame on this man seemed easier than accepting that his mother was willingly spending her time with someone who wasn’t his father. Yes, his father wasn’t an easy man but he wasn’t that bad.

There were good moments mixed in with the bad. Hell, fantastic moments.

Biting his lip to halt his tears of frustration, he muttered “Can’t you love someone else? Maybe someone who isn’t my mom? That’d be nice.”

“Does she know you’re all the way out here?”

Playing with his sleeves, Joseph whispered “No. Well, she knows that I went out but she doesn’t know where. I needed a walk and I just sorta ended up here.”

“Do you want me to take you home? It’s a long walk back.”

As if he’d get in a vehicle with some random dude. Not in a million years. Joseph didn’t like that the man knew where they lived. He shouldn’t know. “I’m good.” Standing up because he needed to get moving, he turned in Johnny’s direction but kept staring at the floor as he kicked around some pebbles. “Um, it’d be better if…if you didn’t say you saw me. If you don’t mind.”

Johnny sounded surprised. “Are we done talking already?”

He was about to scratch his arm but then remembered his fresh wounds. He settled for holding his wrist. “I don’t think I want this conversation anymore… There’s no point to it. You’re only half the problem; can’t solve something with just half.”

“Is it a problem?”

Finally looking up at the man, Joseph said incredulously “Are you stupid? Of course it’s a problem. My mom is _married_. Married to the man who is _my father._ ”

Leaning forward and resting his arms on his knees, Johnny replied “Would it be such a bad thing if she was with me instead? You’d get a different, maybe even better, life. I’m not rich but I’m a great guy.”

The anger started to boil again. “It doesn’t matter that my dad is rich; he’s mine and I love him for it.”

“Look, I know-”

“You don’t know anything!” He shouted while throwing his arms up into the air at his frustration. “What do you possibly know! Nothing! All you have to worry about is fucking my mom and when next time is gonna be! FUCK YOU!”

Johnny’s eyes went huge at the outburst. He was about to say something when someone who wasn’t Joseph spoke before him.

“Joseph? What the hell are you doing here?”

Freezing and knowing he was probably going to get into trouble today, Joseph swallowed and turned to face his tetíncho. His face was confused as his eyes flicked from Joseph to Johnny and back, trying to understand the situation. Focusing on Joseph, he repeated “What are you doing here?”

Nervously fiddling with his fingers, he murmured “I was taking a walk.”

“In Jersey City?”

“Um…”

“I should be going,” Johnny said as he stood up. “Excuse me.”

Tetíncho Yulian watched him go with narrowed eyes before turning back to Joseph. “Who’s that?”

Shrugging, Joseph replied as he began to walk “No one.” His uncle grabbed his shoulder tight, halting him in his tracks. “Just some guy.”

“Just some guy…” Sighing as he shook his head, tetíncho pushed Joseph in the direction of his car. “Get in.”

“’Kay,” he whispered while opening the door and getting in. Shutting the door, he put his seatbelt on and stared out the window.

His tetíncho got in and after putting on his own seatbelt, put the key into the ignition only to change his mind about starting the car. Drumming his fingers on the steering wheel, he asked “We gonna talk about it?”

“No,” he snorted. He didn’t talk to his mother to talk to this guy.

“So we are going to completely ignore what just happened?”

“I didn’t see anything happen.”

The older man hummed in response before he said “So I should just act like I didn’t find you in Jersey City yelling at the new guy your mom is screwing?”

“I don’t care what you do. Go ahead, ruin her life. She deserves it.”

Another hum came in reply. “You sound hateful.”

“I am hateful. And bitter. And angry. I have the right to be.”

“Never said you didn’t.”

Sighing, he shut his eyes as he banged his head against the window softly. “It’s not fair.”

“Nothing ever is. You more than anyone know that.”

More tears for his day welled in his eyes, “I wish I didn’t.”

Silence stretched between them before finally tetíncho Yulian asked “Why are you all the way out here?”

Rubbing away his tears, he muttered “I was taking a walk and hadn’t realized how far I’d gone. I was already on my way back.”

Blowing out a huge huff of breath, his aunt’s husband said “How’d you know?”

“Saw a picture of him. She has a different phone for him. Can’t sext your other guy on the same phone that you do with your husband.”

“Jesus Christ,” he muttered as Joseph heard him sit up in his chair. He turned on the car and began to drive, “Okay.”

Joseph was tempted to ask what was ‘okay’ but it wasn’t worth the headache. He could care less; if his tetíncho wanted to tell his father, Joseph wouldn’t stop him or care. The stress of just everything was driving him insane to the point where even his mind wasn’t a safe place anymore. While he was thankful for Diana opening his eyes once more to how this fucking world worked, he didn’t appreciate that his mind could literally kill him if it wanted.

It’s was like it wasn’t even his to control.

He definitely didn’t like that. Wasn’t enough that he couldn’t control anything else in his life?

They drove home in silence, not a word passing between them. There was the occasional curse that slipped passed his uncle’s lips because you couldn’t drive in Jersey City and not curse a fellow driver but that was it.

Once they reached his house, Joseph wasn’t surprised that his mother was sitting on the stairs. He had been gone for awhile so she was probably getting worried. He had no idea where their relationship was right now but he wouldn’t be cruel enough to make her panic.

He made to get out of the car and felt surprise rumble within him as he registered the fact that his uncle was getting out too. “You don’t have to get down.”

Already half out his door, tetíncho Yulian replied “Yes I do. Hard to have a conversation with someone when you’re not there.”

“Yeah…” he nodded as he got out and shut his door. It wasn’t a conversation he’d be allowed to be in on but he would just listen in. Eavesdropping did wonders.

His mother stood and the worry vanished from her face when she was able to fully see him in one piece. “I, uh, got a little worried when you took forever.”

“I lost track of time as I was walking,” he mumbled as he pushed past her and walked into the house. He made his way up the stairs but paused around the corner of the hall and listened carefully, settling himself down on the floor.

The door shut as his mother said “Thanks for bringing him.”

His tetíncho mannerisms were something he knew so well that he could imagine him crossing his arms and leaning on the wall while shrugging. “I had something to do and we bumped into each other. It wasn’t a problem.”

“I’d offer you something to eat or drink but I know that face. Whatever you have to say, out with it.”

“Quite a bit to say, yeah.”

“Go ahead. Let’s hear what wise ass Yulian has to say today.”

There was no sound for a time until his tetíncho asked “What if Ivo finds out?”

Joseph could ‘see’ the confusion that would have filled his mother’s face. “Finds out…what? That Joseph walked?”

“No. The other thing.”

“Which is…”

Sighing, tetíncho said “Don’t act stupid, Vesela. It doesn’t suit you.”

“There is nothing for Ivo to find out so I really don’t know what you think you’re going for.”

A hum came in lieu of a reply. “Pointing out people’s stupidity generally pisses me off but I’ll help you out here because I happen to like you.”

“Wow, thank you,” she snapped. “Please, oh great Yulian, point it out.”

The words came out slowly, word by word. “What is going to happen when Ivo finds out your fucking another guy behind his back again?”

“I-I don’t know what-”

“For fucks sake, Vesela! You can’t be that fucking stupid!”

Joseph had never heard his tetíncho yell but holy crap he could compete with his father. He felt bad for his cousins when they got in trouble if they had to face that booming voice. But then…he probably didn’t yell at them. Tetíncho Yulian was probably the type who showed disappointment and tried to explain why he was pissed.

Lucky bastards.

“It’s not your business,” his mother hissed. “Stay out of it.”

“How is it not my business! Whose door do you turn up at when he beats the shit out of you! MINE! Do you think I like seeing what the fuck he does to you! You’re too fucking stupid to leave him so the least I could do is try to get you out of the shit you put yourself in!”

“I show up at my sister’s door.”

“Same fucking difference.” Getting control on his anger and frustration, tetíncho Yulian murmured “Vesela, if you don’t love Ivo anymore, then leave him. If you want this other guy, then you need to leave Ivo. It’s not fair to him and it sure as hell isn’t fair what you put Joseph through.”

“I love Ivo.”

The frustration boiled once more as he huffed and probably threw his hands up in the air “Fine. You love him but if you can’t be with him anymore then don’t. You can’t have both. You want whoever this other guy is, then divorce Ivo. I hate the bastard within an inch of my life but even he doesn’t deserve what you’re doing to him.”

The room was silent as his mother was either thinking or shutting down. When she didn’t want to listen to what people were telling her, she’d just tune them out until they got tired. “I want him,” she whispered. “I want Ivo and I want Johnny.”

Joseph’s blood boiled. His mother was stupider than he ever gave her credit for apparently.

“Oh for fuck’s-” There was a hiss of anger and then “Hate to break it to you but that’s not how it works. One or the other or neither. Those are your options. In truth, I don’t give a shit how much you fuck up your life or Ivo’s but my nephew lives in this house and I happen to give a shit about him. I happen to give a fuck if he lives in hell.”

“Fuck you,” his mother snapped, “What’s wrong with his home exactly?”

“Do I really need to list everything? We’ll be here for awhile.”

“I agree,” Joseph whispered ever so quietly so they wouldn’t hear.

“Look,” tetíncho Yulian began, “I’m not going to tell anyone but you need to seriously think about what the fuck you’re doing. One or the other, Vesela. For God’s sake, think about the shitty position you have Joseph in. Think about the child who is stuck in a home where he can’t even know for sure if his mother loves his father or not. He’s got enough problems to last him a fucking lifetime, don’t add more.”

_You have no idea…_

A minute passed then his mother murmured “Thank you and I will.”

Opening the door and walking out, tetíncho snorted “Yeah, we’ll see.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')


	101. Chapter 100

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> If we don't count the prologue, today is the hundredth chpt. So milestone! Again :)
> 
> Thank you to all of my amazing readers for reading and being here with me thru this extremely long ass journey. I love all of y'all, like seriously. Special thanks to those taking the time to give me their thoughts and making my day!  
> Also thanks to the awesome peeps who hit the kudos button the past few weeks.
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> _“Poke me and I’ll break your finger.”_

“You ready for school?” Emilio asked as they sat in the grass, waiting for dinner.

Shrugging as he lay on his stomach with head pillowed on his arms, Joseph replied “Eh. I don’t really care. It at least gives me something to do.” He missed the days where school was something he loved. “Summer is so boring.” He rolled over and stared at the sky. The clouds were pretty and the weather was actually decent for an August evening. Not too stifling.

Shaking his head as he laughed, Emilio snorted “You’re probably the only kid I know that says summer is boring. People die for summer vacation when it comes, you know.”

“Maybe if we actually went on vacation,” he hummed after a yawn. “I mean we do stuff but a real vacation with like a hotel or something would be cool.”

Stretching out beside Joseph, Emilio said “Man, that’d be the coolest. You’d probably do it before I ever did though. We be broke, my dude.”

“We’ll take you guys with us.”

“Aw man I wish,” Emilio laughed. “Can you imagine how awesome a vacation together would be? God, that’d be the coolest ever. I’m down; let’s go tell your dad to get his checkbook ready. Or debit card. Whatever he uses.”

Falling into a bout of laughter, Joseph replied “We’ll tell him over dinner. That way your parents can have their heart attack reaction in front of him and then he’ll convince them or something.”

“Utterly brilliant.”

Turning his head to look at his friend, Joseph said “That was the worst British accent I have ever heard.”

Stretching as he laughed, Emilio mumbled “Puhlease. I’d like to see you do better.”

“I can’t. That’s why I don’t bother trying.”

“I have a sudden urge to smother you,” Emilio said, still in his terrible accent.

“What?” he laughed only to let out a startled squeal as he was suddenly squished down by Emilio’s weight.

His friend’s face was an inch from his and man did Joseph wish he could close that distance between them. Those lips were sooo close.

He bet that they tasted delicious. A thousand times better than Ivet could ever be.

No offense to her and all.

Joseph could have sworn that Emilio’s eyes flicked down to his own lips. But his imagination when it came to his friend was huge and he probably just wished that was what he saw.

“You gonna smother or just stare,” Joseph said after a minute when he realized that if they stayed like this, he probably wouldn’t be able to stop himself from stealing a kiss from that amazing looking mouth.

Emilio’s cheeks flushed a heavy red as he rolled back onto the grass. Clearing his throat, he muttered “I need a pillow to smother you. Remind me later.”

“Gotchya.”

“Yo, weirdos!” Linda shouted from the screen door of the house. “Food’s ready!”

“We should smother her instead,” Joseph laughed.

“Agreed,” Emilio joked as he stood. He was about to step over Joseph, when Joseph grabbed his leg and made him trip to the floor. “Oof! Jerk!” he laughed as he rolled back up and bounced to his feet. “Terrible friend.”

“Nah, man,” Joseph said as he bounced to his feet. “I am thee epic broseph.”

“Totally,” Emilio snorted as they went up the deck stairs and into the house.

He was surprised that Mr. Vidal hadn’t showed up yet. It wasn’t like him to be late. Usually, it was Joseph’s father who was the late one, not the other way around. Regardless, they sat down at the table, Joseph and Emilio bringing up stools from the island so everyone could fit.

“Where’s papa?” Emilio asked as he sat down.

“He hasn’t called,” Mrs. Vidal answered as she settled Alondra in her lap, “But he should be here anytime now.”

Taking Joseph’s plate, his mother put some food in it and was nice enough not to fill it up. Eating would forever be an issue for him. Maybe that was why he wasn’t growing so well. Emilio, on the other hand, always finished his plate. He had a good metabolism because it never showed how much he ate. It was something that Linda always harped about.

His father took a seat in his usual spot, finishing a text on his phone before putting it away. “This looks delicious.”

“Smells it too,” Maria added as she put in her own plate. “Me and Alicia made the dessert today, by the way.”

“I bet it’s fantastic,” Joseph mumbled around a bite of food.

It something normal he’d usually say to anyone but Alicia looked extra appreciative to the comment. That was good; for the past few months, Joseph had been subtly dropping compliments here and there and she seemed to be eating them up gladly. He was thinking of taking the dive of asking her out soon. The bracelet was in his closet and he figured he’d give it to her when he asked her out.

And then everything would work out just fine. No more gay Joseph.

One less problem in his life.

“It’s great!” Alicia exclaimed with a slight tinge of pink on her cheeks. “We made a two layer cake. Bonus chocolate frosting.”

“Damn that sounds good,” his father remarked. “Anything chocolate is always good.”

“Besides those chocolates that taste like oranges,” Linda said.

Pointing his fork at her, his father agreed. “Those are fucking nasty. Like what the hell people. If I want fruit, I’ll eat a piece of fucking fruit.” He took an angry bite of fish.

“Very passionate on the subject,” Emilio laughed. “Who woulda thought chocolate would get you all worked up?”

“Hey, if someone insulted or messed around with flan, you’d have a fit.”

“Flan’s an art,” Emilio said defensively. “No one should mess with it. You must respect the amazing art that it is.”

“Yes, of course,” Joseph’s mother laughed. “You sound like Joseph and cheesecake.”

“Hey,” Joseph began.

They were interrupted by Mrs. Vidal’s phone ringing. “That’s probably Raul,” she murmured as she stood to grab it from where she left it in the kitchen, handing Alondra and her abused slice of tomato to Maria.

“Cheesecake should be eaten the plain classic way,” Joseph continued. “It doesn’t need fancy frills or flavors or all that other atrocious stuff they do to it.”

Emilio opened his mouth to say something only to fall silent when Mrs. Vidal’s worried voice said “Is he okay? What happened?”

The Vidal siblings shared an alarmed confused glance before staring at their mother, waiting for whatever to be revealed. Alondra remained focused on her mess of a tomato.

Mrs. Vidal was playing nervously with her hair as she listened to whoever was on the other line of the call. “Okay. Thank you, Kehaulani.” She anxiously worried her lip between her teeth. “I’ll be right there.”

She closed the phone but continued to stare at it in her hand, clenching it tight. The house was silent but Joseph couldn’t take the waiting any longer. “Mrs. Vidal?” His voice broke her concentration as she looked up, her face distraught.

“Mama, what’s wrong?” Maria asked, her fingers tapping nervously on the table. “Is papi, okay?”

Taking in a deep breath, Mrs. Vidal said in a strong voice that Joseph wasn’t expecting “He’s in the hospital, mija.”

The Vidal siblings all froze their eyes going wide. His father broke into the silence, his voice tinged with concern. “Is he alright?”

Getting a handle on herself and putting her phone into her pocket, she grabbed her purse and replied “He was shot. Twice.”

“Jesus fuck. How bad?”

“Kehaulani says the doctor removed the bullet – the other went through – and he should be alright. Nothing critical, thankfully.”

Emilio jumped off his stool. “I’m coming with you.”

But Mrs. Vidal shook her head. “I’ll go and when everything is settled you guys can come.”

“But-”

“Sit, mijo.”

He looked like he was going to protest again as he bounced a leg in his frustration but eventually he huffed and sat sullenly back on his stool.

“But that won’t take long, right?” Alicia asked while biting her nail. “We’ll see him today?”

“Promise. I’ll call when you guys can come, okay?”

“We’ll bring them,” his mother interrupted. “Don’t worry. Go on. The faster you get there, the faster they can go.”

Breathing deep, Mrs. Vidal nodded and left. The table was silent now as no one wanted to talk about anything anymore. Their minds were too preoccupied at the moment for worthless conversation. They resumed eating but no one was into it. After a few more silent minutes passed, his father threw his fork on his plate with a clang and took out his phone, dialing someone.

They all watched and waited with him until the other person answered. A smile grew on his father’s face as he fit into whatever version of himself this person was used to. “Detective! How are you?”

Joseph’s gaze caught with Linda’s who made a questioning face but he just shrugged. He didn’t know either.

“No I.D?”

“Huh.”

“Where?”

“Okay, thank you.”

His father hung up and called someone else. This person happened to be Asen and his father spoke with him in quick Bulgarian.

“Asen, dig me whatever shit you can get on a detective that was shot on the corner of tenth and Clinton. I needed it ten minutes ago. Fast as you can, please.”

Asen probably replied with a ‘yes, my lord’ before his father closed the phone and started typing something.

Emilio nudged him and nodded in the direction of Joseph’s father. Joseph wasn’t sure if he was allowed to repeat it; if his father had wanted to speak in English, he would have.

Before Joseph could say something though, his mother spoke up her own curiosities. “Soo…”

Holding up a ‘one sec’ finger, his father finished typing and then put his phone when he finished. “Working on it.”

“Who was the detective?”

“Savelio.”

His mother hummed and said “I like her. I should be friends with her.”

“You talk to Ms. Savelio?” Alicia asked his father in surprise. “I thought she didn’t like you.”

Snorting, his father laughed “She doesn’t. Well, maybe. I more think she doesn’t like me based on principle and less on personality but whatever.”

“What’d she say?” Emilio inquired. He wasn’t even bothering with his food anymore.

Looking like he didn’t want to answer, his father eventually sighed and gave in. “They don’t know who the shooter is yet. He and Savelio were working on a case and were following a lead when he was shot. They obviously weren’t expecting anyone because he wasn’t wearing a vest. She gave a minor chase but didn’t want to leave your father so she decided to stay with him instead.”

“Is it bad? Like bad places to get shot?” Linda said quietly.

“Technically speaking, everywhere is bad to get shot. He took two in his chest. Thankfully, it was a low caliber gun, so smaller bullets. Savelio said one went through and the other lodged in; they had to remove it. Nothing vital hit but he has a lot of tissue damage.”

“That’s…that’s pretty good, isn’t it?

Smiling in reassurance, his father replied “That’s really good. Big time lucky.”

Maria looked a little relieved. “That’s good. Right? That’s good?”

“Fo sure, homegirl.”

That earned some laughter all around although Joseph noticed that the sound that came out of Emilio definitely wasn’t a laugh. Looking closely at his friend who had his face turned down and partially covered by his arm, Joseph realized his friend was crying.

Joseph had never seen him cry before.

Noticing as well, Maria stood from her chair but Emilio shook his head while wiping his eyes. “I’m fine.”

Everyone else on the table caught on and his mother jumped from her chair and smothered Emilio into a hug when she reached him. “It’s okay, sweetheart, it’ll be fine.” She placed kisses on his hair, resting her head on his.

He was feeling like a pretty crappy friend right now. What did people do when someone was crying? Hug them but his mother already took care of that part. So what could he do?

When Joseph cried, he enjoyed privacy. Maybe he could give Emilio that much.

Tapping his mother to move, he took his friend’s hand and jumped off his stool. Emilio following suit as he slid of his own. Firmly grasping his hand, Joseph led him upstairs to his room and shut the door behind them. Emilio plopped on the bed and tried to hide his tears. “I-I’m fine, really.”

Getting on the bed beside him, Joseph yanked him into a hug and murmured “Don’t make me smother you. There’s lots of pillows here.”

His heart fluttered when Emilio laughed through his pain. Rubbing his face into Joseph shoulder, he whispered “I’m just worried.”

“I’d expect you to be. It’s okay to be worried, stupid.”

“You didn’t cry when your dad was in the hospital.”

“Actually, I did. After your dad told us and said get ready, I went to the bathroom, remember?” Emilio nodded against his shoulder. “I turned on the water so you guys wouldn’t hear me and then I cried my eyes out. There’s nothing wrong with crying. It makes you feel pretty good afterwards, actually.”

“Yeah… I guess it does,” Emilio sniffled, his tears subsiding a bit. “Your dad said he’d be okay. He wouldn’t lie about it would he? To make sure we wouldn’t worry?”

Shaking his head, Joseph replied “No, he doesn’t like hiding truths like that. If he thought that your dad might not be okay, then he would have said so.”

“Okay…” His friend sounded a little more hopeful. “He’s gonna be fine then.”

“Yup. No worries, bromilio.”

Clutching him tighter, Emilio whispered “You’re the bestest friend ever, you know that?”

“Really? Thank you. But honestly I think you fit that title way better than me.”

Emilio giggled a little then said “Thanks, broseph. You’re the best.” Letting out another giggle, he added “Thanks for donating your shirt to my boogers. Much appreciated.”

Snorting, Joseph pulled himself away from his friend and stripped of his shirt, handing it to him. “Enjoy. You can keep it.”

Now Emilio was full on laughing to Joseph’s delight as he took the shirt. “Thank you. I always wanted a snot covered shirt.”

“Hey, hey, it’s your snot.”

Smiling, Emilio took the shirt and blew his nose into it, humor fighting with the worry and fear in his eyes. Making sure he wiped his nose really well, Emilio handed him back the shirt. “It has now served its purpose.”

Taking the shirt with two fingers, Joseph snorted “Well, gee thanks, but you were supposed to keep that.” He tossed the shirt into some random corner. “Gross.”

“You’re gonna have to pick that up later, you know.”

“Nope. Ima make my mom. I won’t tell her what’s all over it.”

There was a knock on the door and his mother stuck her head in. “Everything okay?” They both laughed at the irony of her showing up. She smiled and added “So, okay is my guess.”

Wiping the last of his puffy eyes, Emilio said “Yes, thank you, Mrs. Kavinsky.”

“No problem,” she answered. “Always here when you need me. Just one question.”

“Yeah?”

“Why is Joseph not wearing a shirt?”

“It went to donations, mayko,” Joseph laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')


	102. Chapter 101

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> Eid Mubarak to any fellow Muslims! My gift to all of my amazing readers is THREE CHPTS IN A ROW.  
> WHAT  
> Yeah, I know I'm awesome  
> So update today, tomorrow, and Tuesday! Also our regular Thursday update! Woot!
> 
> So the only actual important thing in this chpt is the ending. The rest is just storytelling but I don't figure it boring just because I like that sort of stuff. But if some of you do, I totally get it
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> _“Soo, bad handwriting huh?”_

Mrs. Vidal had a finger to her mouth, silently telling them to keep quiet as they walked into the room. Because she was a nurse, she had managed to get them all in without anyone voicing their disproval. Joseph was having déjà vu moments of when he came to see his father for the first time and the only sound was careful breathing and the beep of the heart monitor.

He and Emilio stood on one side of the bed and watched Mr. Vidal sleep. He seemed kind of pale and had a variety of tubes, much like his father had had. Emilio stretched out a hand and brushed a stray hair from his father’s forehead. Leaning over, he also placed a kissed there.

“When is he supposed to wake up?” Maria whispered from where she stood across from them, leaning over Mr. Vidal the way Emilio had.

“Any time now,” her mother replied quietly. “The drugs from surgery should have worn off; he’s just got to get himself up.”

“What if I poke him?” His father joked as he leaned against a wall by the door. “Get him moving.”

“Poke me and I’ll break your finger,” Mr. Vidal groaned as his eyes blinked rapidly, trying to adjust to awakening. Once they opened, he shut them again and gave himself a few more seconds before fully opening them once more. “Oh, Jesus, I hurt.”

“Welcome to the world of the living,” his father laughed over the Vidal siblings’ exclamations of happiness. “You were jealous of my banging bullet scars, weren’t you?”

There was a snort of painful sounding laughter before Mr. Vidal said “Oh Christ, fuck you.”

“Raul!” Mrs. Vidal exclaimed while everyone gaped at him in shock. “Language?”

With a huge smile on his face, Joseph’s father chimed “He’s in pain causing gangbanger Raul to resurface. It’s okay, leave him be. I always wanted to meet this version.”

Joseph felt his eyes go huge as he turned to look at Mr. Vidal. “You were a gangster?”

“I hate telling you things, Ivo, I really do.”

“So you were seriously a gangster then?” Joseph asked in shock. He couldn’t believe it; he’d believe Mrs. Vidal was a gangster before he’d believe that Detective Raul Vidal was. “Insane…”

“I’m too tired for this conversation,” Mr. Vidal mumbled. “Come back later.”

That wasn’t cool. Looking critically at Emilio, he asked “How come you never told me?”

Shrugging, Emilio replied “You never asked.”

“How was I supposed know that I should ask if your dad was a gangbanger?”

“Dunno,” his friend shrugged again. “It never occurred to me to mention it, I guess.”

His mother looked as surprised as he did. “I’m so offended I didn’t know. Is that what the tattoo is? I always wanted to ask about it but I didn’t want to…seem weird about it.”

“That’s the tattoo,” Mr. Vidal muttered. “And again, I’m too tired for this conversation.”

“Me and mayko will come back next week,” Joseph informed. “You should be up to storytelling by then.”

A small smile came on Mr. Vidal’s face as he replied “Fair enough, I suppose.”

“Do you feel okay?” Alicia asked, her voice and face filled with concern.

“Mmm, I’m on a decent enough amount of drugs. I’ll survive.”

“Can’t you get an infection or something?”

“Technically, yes, but I wouldn’t worry too much about that, mija. I have a fantastic personal nurse.”

Laughing, Mrs. Vidal said “Well, aren’t you lucky.”

Adjusting himself in bed, Mr. Vidal yawned “Well, minus getting shot today, I’d say yeah, pretty lucky.”

“Have you been shot before?” Joseph asked curiously. He knew his own father had taken bullets quite a few times, not to mention knives, fists, and kicks. Some cars too. There was also the floor; cement hurts even though it doesn’t move.

“Not recently. Once in Connecticut and twice in Puerto Rico. It was nice feeling of not being shot for a good amount of years.”

“Yeah…” his father trailed, “Getting shot is such a bitch. Jesus Christ, I’m getting like fucking phantom pain or something just talking about it.” He messaged his chest as he continued “I think my closest call was when I took a bullet for Timotei. I was a few months from… eighteen? Yeah, eighteen. I only ever was hit once before that and it was only a graze so it didn’t really count.”

“God, I remember that,” his mother shivered. “Freaking terrifying.”

“It sounds like a story I really want to hear,” Emilio piped up. “Like really really.”

Nodding, Mr. Vidal added tiredly “It’s a story I want to hear too.” Despite his pain and exhaustion, curiosity glowed in his eyes.

Rolling his eyes, his father muttered “I don’t even remember shit. There’s a dude, a gun, Timotei. Then I’m dying on the floor thinking ‘fuck, my mother won’t think to look for her birthday present taped on the inside of my dresser.’”

They all laughed although Mr. Vidal tried his best not to so he wouldn’t jostle so much. His father always enjoyed telling Joseph stories about bába Emiliya; much more than dyádo Yosef. Initially, he had thought it was because his father found it hard to talk about the man who was murdered before his eyes. While this was an aspect of it, apparently it wasn’t really all of it. According to his mother, his father and dyádo had had a bad relationship. He had always been closer to his mother.

“You didn’t die, so I guess you got to give it to her?” Mrs. Vidal asked as she settled herself down in a chair.

“Months late but yeah. I told her where it was when I had marginal brain functions in case I’d end up dying but she said she’d wait until I gave it to her. And that I better get my ass moving to give it to her.”

Maria looked like she was really enjoying the bits she got to hear. “How long were you in the hospital?”

Looking at her incredulously, his father answered “I wasn’t.”

“Buut you said it was near death. Plus, you were shot; everyone has to go to a hospital when they’re shot.”

“I was in the country illegally. Can’t exactly go to a hospital when you’re not supposed to be here. Hospitals are required by law to call the police and report gsw’s. I didn’t need cops looking too close at my forged crap.”

“How do you get in a country without people knowing?”

“Through a whole lot of shit,” his father muttered with disgust. “Security then wasn’t as tight as it is now but it was still complete hell. Cleaned me out of whatever money I had left too. And the reason I fucking hate boats.”

“Shipping crates?” Mr. Vidal asked.

“Among other things.”

Mr. Vidal hummed and then looked expectantly at Joseph’s father when he stayed silent. “Keep going. You’re distracting me from my pain. Keep being useful.”

Snorting, his father laughed “I didn’t see you distracting me from my pain last year.”

“You kidding me? I spent an entire day with your whining ass, not to mention I’d visit every couple days.”

“Pfft, I’m entitled to whine when I’m in a million pieces.”

“As am I”

“Nah, you’re in one nice piece. Not even a broken bone. I’m so offended.”

“Whenever you guys are finished…?” Linda interrupted while raising her brows in exasperation. “I’m enjoying a story here.”

“Whatever,” his father muttered while rolling his eyes. “Anyways, I spent four months in bed. Timotei’s doctor would stop by like five times a day and he had gotten me a nurse too but my mom threw her out. Said she didn’t need anyone to tell her how to take care of her child.”

Joseph laughed at the look his mother and Emilio’s shared. “I wouldn’t either,” his mother explained. “I’d know best how to take care of my baby. I would take advice but I don’t need someone doing it for me.” Hoisting herself onto the top of the nook in the wall, she sat on the countertop. “Emiliya, on the other hand,” she added, “Did not like advice.”

“Not true,” his father protested. “She’d take advice. Why wouldn’t she?”

“I went to visit you and she was putting you food and I suggested that maybe you shouldn’t eat whatever the hell it was – I don’t even remember – and she blew on me and said she didn’t need the words of Timotei’s spawn and then she threw me out.”

Looking horribly offended, his father said “No she didn’t.”

“Yes she did,” his mother nodded, “School had finished early that day and I stopped to see you. And she threw me out. I was too afraid to go back the next day by myself which is why I took Nikol with me.”

“No way. She wouldn’t.”

“Why not?” Mrs. Vidal laughed. “Is it such an out there scenario?”

“Yes!” His father exclaimed. “She wouldn’t have done that because it would have been completely counterproductive.”

“To what?” Alicia questioned in confusion.

He gestured to himself emphatically. “To me!”

“Do elaborate. Flustered Ivo is something I enjoy watching,” Mr. Vidal smirked.

Huffing, his father muttered “My mother would not throw out the girl I was in love with. It kinda loses me points with the girl.”

“Aw that’s so cute!” Linda exclaimed. “Your mom was helping you out?”

Slapping a hand on his face while closing his eyes and groaning, his father replied “How did I get into this conversation…” Removing his hand and opening his eyes, he added “I think we’re done now.”

“No!” Alicia protested. “It was getting to the good stuff! I love romance stories.”

“Cheeeesy,” Emilio laughed. “I’d prefer to hear more about him dying. Blood and violence always make the best stories.”

“No more stories. I’m done. I’ve got nothing for you people.”

“Mrs. Kavinsky?” Maria asked in hope.

Laughing, she winked and said “I got you. His momma knew and was helping him. I mean, I didn’t know that ‘till after we married but yeah. Seems she was giving him pointers all those years to the hopeless romantic. But hey, they were good pointers because they worked.”

“Please shut up,” his father groaned with fingers pressed between his closed eyes.

Ignoring him, she added “I totally ate up all the shit he’d say.” She snorted “I still do.”

“Well, gee, sorry for calling you beautiful every morning.”

“Uhuh, whatevs, husband mine. Anyways, Emiliya was always super nice to me, it seems, because of Ivo.”

“You make it sound so weirdly one-sided,” his father interrupted, “I was in love, you were inflicted with a crush.”

“Don’t make it sound like a disease,” Linda laughed. “What’s wrong with a crush?”

“Nothing. She just made it sound like I was some weird guy hitting on a freaking preteen with the help of his mother.”

“No I didn’t,” his mother protested.

“When you put it like that it sounds really bad,” Mr. Vidal interrupted. “You were…seventeen and she was?”

“Thirteen when we met. Turned fourteen like five months later.”

“Jesus, Ivo.”

“What?”

“I was shocked when I found out he had eyes for me. I had barely hit puberty and didn’t think I was anything to look at,” his mother chimed in. “Nikol was pissed when she found out. We both had a crush on the tall brooding foreign guy.”

“Tall brooding…what?” His father muttered while shaking his head.

Shrugging, she answered “You’re tall, generally broody – to this day – and you were born in Bulgaria. That makes you foreign to a couple Jersey girls. Plus, you could barely speak English – foreign.”

Emilio looked so confused, with his face scrunched tight in all his thinking. “There’s no way Ms. Nikol had a crush on him.”

Joseph definitely couldn’t help but agree.

Choking on his laughter, his father snorted “Shock of all shocks, I know. Luckily she turned her eyes to something blonder.”

“Yulian is fiiinee,” his mother mumbled while looking at her nails. His father turned to look at her, eyes narrowed to which she simply smiled. “He is. But don’t worry; he’s fine but your very fine.”

“Thanks,” his father muttered while rolling his eyes.

“If Grandma Kavinsky was extra sweet to you…” Emilio noted, “Why would she throw you out?”

“Thank you,” his father agreed.

“She was mad at us when she threw me out. When they brought Ivo after he’d been shot, she spent three hours yelling at tate. She cursed him to hell and back saying that Ivo was all she had left and no one was going to take him from her. She’d murder tate herself if he ever put Ivo in harm again. I wasn’t there but tate told me and Nikol over dinner.”

Everyone laughed at his father’s confused face. “Wait, what?”

“You were busy not bleeding out in your bed, you don’t remember.”

His father scratched along his jaw, “I’d call bull on that one too except it’s a lot more plausible… She’d totally do that. She’d probably piss on his grave too after killing him.”

“I wish I got to meet her,” Mr. Vidal snorted “She seems so interesting.”

A soft smile came on his father’s face, one that rarely ever made an appearance. “I wish you guys got to meet her too.”

 

 

Joseph stood in front of the vending machine, trying to decide what he wanted. His father wanted a KitKat and Mr. Vidal a Snickers. He offered himself as the retreater/deliverer of snacks. For Emilio, he had gotten Skittles and now Joseph was at a dilemma for himself.

He jumped out of his skin when someone tapped his shoulder. Giggles were what greeted his surprise as he turned to face Alicia. “People say hello.”

“I didn’t actually think I’d get you,” she laughed. “I thought you got lost in the vending machine so I came looking for you.”

Rolling his eyes, he muttered “I’m not so tiny where I’d get lost in it.”

Her look of humor changed immediately. “Oh no! That’s not what I meant! I just meant that you were taking forever. Sorry.”

Feeling a little guilty about being a minor jerk, Joseph said “Nah, my fault. I took your joke wrong. My bad.”

“It’s cool,” she smiled while playing with a strand of her hair and nervously biting her lip. “Soo obviously you didn’t get lost.”

Giving her a smile, Joseph replied “No, I just can’t decide what I want.” Turning back the machine, he continued to contemplate his choices as Alicia sat on the chair beside them. An idea sparked in his brain. Maybe it was a stretch…but it couldn’t be that bad. It was time he made a move anyways. “You like M&M’s?”

“Yeah, they’re good.” She titled her head curiously as she crossed her legs. “Why?”

Punching in the number, he grabbed his chocolate when it fell into the bin. Ripping it open, he smiled and said “Because I’m sharing.” His heart was beating miles a second as he decided to commit to his insane stupidity of an idea.

“Oh, thanks?”

Grinning, he replied “’Welcome,” while dropping a candy on his tongue, winking before he dove in for a kiss. Alicia made a tiny noise of surprise when their lips connected. She stopped breathing entirely when he pushed her mouth open with his tongue and slid the M&M in a second later.

He didn’t give her a chance to do anything back before he pulled away and kissed her flushed cheek. “Enjoy,” he whispered before he walked away, not turning back once. If he did, she’d see how incredibly red his face was at the moment. He was practically on the verge of a heart attack right now.

Was that smooth? He thought so.

Joseph hoped so.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')


	103. Chapter 102

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> Confusion, heartbreak, happiness  
> That's pretty much it
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> _"Maybe you’re one of those crazy lover people who go on murder sprees or something.”_

Alicia stared up at the ceiling from Maria’s bed. She had the bottom level of a bunk bed and needed a ceiling to stare at so she commandeered her sister’s bed for that specific purpose.

Deep thinking required a ceiling.

She didn’t know what to do. The boy she was obsessed with kissed her and yet instead of being excited and happy and screaming like a freaking maniac like she should be, she was worried instead.

Because she didn’t want to hurt her brother.

It wasn’t her fault though, was it? Joseph had made the move, not her. She wasn’t crazy Ivet to just kiss him. Alicia still thought that Ivet did it on purpose because she knew that she liked Joseph.

What she needed right now was advice.

Hopefully her dad wasn’t asleep yet as she grabbed the house phone off the floor and dialed his number.

  

* * *

 

Joseph was on his way to his room when he realized that maybe he should get some input on his current endeavor. Was it smarter to ask a guy or a lady, though? His mother could possibly make it all awkward…

Turning back around in the hall and walking back down the stairs, Joseph went to his father’s office and knocked. Walking in after he was invited, he quietly shut the door behind himself. He didn’t want his mother by chance hearing their conversation. Maybe he’d get her opinion later.

His father gave a nod of acknowledgement in his direction but was fully focused in something on his phone as he copied it down on a sheet of paper. “What’s up.”

“Uh,” Joseph stuttered, now thinking that maybe he could do without advice. “Actually-”

“Don’t say nevermind. You already made it here. Let’s hear it.”

Sighing, he walked closer and leaned on the back of his father’s chair. “I was kinda…gonna ask for some advice, I guess. Or maybe just some opinion.”

“Do I need complete brain functions for this?” He asked, still focused on his writing.

“Yes, please.”

“Then gimme a minute.”

His father continued to write whatever it was as he scrolled down the page on his phone. Joseph squinted to try to make out the words that were written but his father’s handwriting was horrible on a good day on official papers, not to beautiful on quick scribbled notes. Not to mention that it was written in Bulgarian and while Joseph could read and write his mother tongue, no one in the world could read his father’s ugly scrawl. He had tried once and ended up mixing up all the letters because somehow he’d made one look like the other. Joseph may have his own slanted ugly scribbles but his father’s were in another league entirely.

“Can I ask a question that doesn’t require major thinking while I wait?” His father hummed his agreement. “How in the world did your teachers ever read your handwriting?”

Shaking his head as he laughed, his father replied “Sometimes I’d get lucky. Other times they’d make me read it to them. I had this one teacher once who made me rewrite everything I ever wrote in his class; everyday, after school. This same guy also failed me on one of my tests saying he couldn’t read it. I had to go home and tell your dyádo that I’d failed and he beat the crap outta me even though I know I passed that exam.”

Despite how much Joseph really didn’t want to interrupt the one time his father spoke of dyádo, he had to ask. “Dyádo used to hit?” His father had to get it from somewhere, didn’t he?

The pen in his hand froze and Joseph could imagine his father biting his lip as he thought of what to say. After a minute, he murmured “Hit would be an understatement.”

He wasn’t quite sure what to say; he didn’t want to push because Joseph knew that his father would just close up. “Oh.”

Waving Joseph off quickly with his hand, his father said “Don’t worry about it. It’s not a big deal. I probably deserved half those beatings anyways.”

It was on the tip of his tongue to say ‘well, what about the ones you didn’t deserve?’ but Joseph remained silent. If his father wanted to talk about it, then he would. “Soo, bad handwriting huh?”

Joseph could actually see the tension in his father’s shoulders disappear as the conversation moved away from dyádo Yosef. “Completely shitty. After that exam, your bába made me spend an hour every morning copying from newspapers or magazines. It didn’t matter what it was, as long as it had lots of words for me to jot down. Then she’d check them and if she could read it without squinting, I got to go.”

“If not?”

“Then I had to do it again. Twice.”

“I gotta thank you and mayko for never making me do that.”

A laugh escaped his father’s lips as he finished up his notes on whatever. “Hey, I can’t end up a hypocrite. Can’t judge you when my own writing is utter shit.”

“Suppose not,” he yawned while resting his head on the back of the chair. “You finished yet?”

Tossing his pen onto the desk, his father turned his head to face Joseph. “All yours.”

Scratching his head nervously, he muttered “Okay…uh…”

“Does this topic that requires full brain functions and advice slash opinion have possibly anything to do with girls?”

“How’d you know?”

“You walk in only to change your mind and you also shut the door, meaning you don’t want mayko to hear. You’re also slightly nervous and embarrassed. My conclusion is girls.”

Tapping his fingers on the back of the chair, Joseph asked “How do you ask a girl out?”

His father’s face filled with surprise. “Is there a girl you like? I’m slightly annoyed I didn’t get that piece of info. Not cool.”

There was absolutely no way in the universe that Joseph could explain to his father that there would never be a girl he ‘liked.’ “Um well…I like her and she’s really sweet and stuff…pretty too…”

“Buuut…”

Rubbing his arm from his nerves, Joseph replied “I mean, I don’t know if I… like like her, you know? But I figured that I’d figure it out if maybe we were together.”

“Does she like you?”

Nodding slowly because he knew what was coming, Joseph murmured “It’s Alicia.”

“Ah,” his father replied while also giving his own nods. “Alicia.”

“Yeah.”

“I thought we talked about of how much of a complete jackass you’d be for taking advantage of how she feels about you?”

“Well, we did but I’m not taking advantage.” _Not exactly…_ “I’m just trying to figure out my own feelings. It’s not like I found out she has a crush and then immediately went for it. I’ve been thinking about it a lot. Like really really good thought.”

“So?”

“So I wanna ask her out. And I’m asking you how to do it.”

“Uhuh.”

Silence stretched and Joseph had no clue where this conversation was going to go. “So you gonna help me?”

Leaning an elbow on the armrest, his father rested his head in his hand and sighed. “I don’t think you like her.”

“I like her. There’s nothing wrong with her.”

“You like her as a friend but not more than that,” his father countered with something that was too true. “And I am highly uncomfortable with helping you take advantage of her crush. It’s wrong on so many levels and quite frankly, I’m disappointed in you that you’d stoop to that.”

Looking down at his fidgeting hands, Joseph replied “I don’t know that I don’t like her. I think it’s worth figuring out. And plus, it’s too late to back up now anyways.”

Raising his head, his father looked at him with narrowed eyes. “Too late?”

“Kinda already kissed her sooo…”

“Jesus Christ, Joseph,” he muttered. “When exactly?”

Placing his chin on the top of the chair, Joseph revealed “Today. Tonight to be more specific. The hospital to be even more specific. And we can go even more specific than that and say at the vending machine.”

“Christ,” his father mumbled while rubbing his forehead. “What the hell is romantic about a vending machine?”

Shrugging, Joseph said “It wasn’t supposed to be romantic, it was just…opportunity. She came to see why I was taking awhile then sat down in the chair and then I…I shared my M&M’s.” He shrugged again and added “I’m assuming she liked it because she sounded pretty happy.”

The smile that grew on his face was something that couldn’t be helped as his father started to laugh. “Share your M&M’s…Jesus fuck. In any other situation, I’d say that was pretty smooth for a quick thinking opportunity moment-”

“I thought so.”

Rolling his eyes at the interruption, his father continued “But I still think it’s wrong what you’re doing.”

“You gonna help or not,” Joseph sighed, “Because even if you don’t, I’m still probably going to try.”

“You don’t seem like you need help.”

“Oh…you think so?”

Getting out of his chair and stretching, his father replied “You seem to be doing alright so far.”

Biting his lip, Joseph mumbled mostly to himself “Huh…okay then.” Focusing back on his father, he asked “So me having a girlfriend is okay?”

“Sure,” he shrugged. “No problem here. Of course, if you’re a shitty boyfriend, then we’ve got problems.”

“I think I’d be a pretty awesome one, thank you.”

Putting his hands up in surrender, his father said “Didn’t say you wouldn’t. I just said if it turns out otherwise, then issues.”

  

* * *

 

Emilio called a ‘come in’ to whoever knocked. Alicia walked in with a nervous smile.

_Why nervous?_

Throwing herself on their abuela’s bed – she was coming tomorrow after she found out about his dad – Alicia murmured “Hi.”

Putting his Gameboy down on the bed beside him, Emilio replied slowly “Hiiii.” He narrowed his eyes, “What’s wrong?”

Playing with her hair, Alicia started “I-I want your permission.”

His eyebrows rose into his hair that needed a trim. This wasn’t at all weird. When did his sisters ever ask him permission for anything? Even when they were using his own things. “Permission for what?”

She stared down at her hands before she said quietly “Um…I want to…” She let out a little huff and said “Promise you won’t be mad?”

Now he was getting a lot curious and a little worried as he sat up, staring intently at his favorite sister. “Promise, I guess.”

Raising her head, she mumbled “I want your permission to go out with Joseph.”

He blinked at his sister, the words not exactly running through his brain. “What?”

“Joseph,” Alicia said stronger, “I want your okay to go out with him. To be his girlfriend.”

Emilio could literally feel his heart constricting as he stuttered “D-Did he ask you out or something?”

“Not exactly buuuttt I don’t think it’ll be long.”

“Because?”

“He kissed me.”

“Oh,” he whispered as he felt all his hurt ready to boil over. Staring down into his lap, he asked “Today?”

“Yeah. But…if you don’t want me to…I won’t. Promise. I’ll say no if he asks.”

With tears welling in his eyes, Emilio shook his head. “That’s not fair to you. If he likes you, I’m not gonna be a jerk and take that away from you. I-If he asks, then say yes. It’s okay.”

He could hear the happiness in her voice despite that she was trying to hide it. “Are you sure? Really, Emilio, if you don’t want me to, I won’t.”

“I’m sure,” he whispered with his silent tears falling. Thankfully, she hadn’t noticed them yet. “It’s okay.” Wiping his face, he said stronger “It’s okay, really.”

Seconds later he heard her get up from the bed and found himself in her tight embrace. “Thank you,” she whispered. “Thank you. Thank you. But…if you ever change your mind before then…just say so.”

Nodding into her, he replied “I won’t be but thanks.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')


	104. Chapter 103

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> More heartbreak and some kisses
> 
> Enjoy :)
> 
> _“When was the last time you and I held civil small talk?”_

Emilio sat on the chair besides his father’s bed, telling him about how he finally beat the last level of Avatar on his Gameboy. But from the way his father had been watching him since his mother had brought him, Emilio knew he was waiting for a moment to cut in.

Sighing and giving in to the inevitable, Emilio mumbled “What?”

“Are you okay? And don’t give me the whole thing where you act like you don’t know what I’m talking about.”

Shrugging, he drew his knees up into his chest and set his chin on them, looking at the wall across from him. “I’m okay, I guess. Feel like my heart was ripped out but no big deal, huh.” He laughed and added “Ripped out, thrown on the floor, and smashed a hundred times over. Guess this is heartbreak.”

“That it would be. It’s a bitch.”

“Yeah,” he snorted, not bothering to chastise his father for the language. “So awesome.”

His father fell quiet before he murmured “You could have said no.”

Shaking his head, Emilio replied “I wouldn’t do that to her. It was his move, not hers. He kissed her, meaning that he’s gotta feel something for her. So if I said no, then I’d be stopping two people who are important to me and that’s just messed up.”

“That’s very good of you, mijo. Incredibly kind.”

“I don’t want to stop them if they have feelings for each other. And…as mean as this may come out…childhood dating doesn’t generally work out. I kinda figure they won’t last.”

Laughing albeit not his usual amazing sounding one, his father asked “Kinda figure or kinda hope?”

“Both. No offense to them and all. I still want my shot, you know.”

“But you won’t do anything to mess with them, would you? To get your shot?”

His head quickly swiveled to look at his father. “No! You seriously think I’d do that, papi?”

Shrugging only slightly on account of his wounds, his father said “Just making sure. Maybe you’re one of those crazy lover people who go on murder sprees or something.”

Laughter broke through the haze of pain he had been feeling since yesterday night. “No, no murder sprees or sabotage. I’ll let them play it out. I mean, I don’t want either of them to get hurt but I’m not going to just give up like that. Soo I kinda hope one of them screws up.”

“Or maybe a mutual breakup. Those exist without people hurting.”

“Oh, they can do that too.”

“And you’ll be able to handle seeing them?”

“Why can’t I see them?”

“Seeing them together,” his dad explained. “Say you saw one give a kiss to the other or walked in on them doing something that better not extend past kissing or I will probably murder Joseph, how will you handle it?”

“Oh,” he muttered while he thought. “As long as they don’t like explicitly flaunt it in my face, I should be fine. They can kiss or whatever else. Just don’t rub it in. But Alicia wouldn’t do that anyways so I’m not worried.”

Nodding as he sighed, his dad murmured “I’m so sorry, papi.”

Giving his own sigh while resting his forehead on his knees, Emilio replied “You shouldn’t be. It’s expected. Boys don’t look at boys that often. Makes sense he’d go for the girl first. I’m just a friend, not a love interest.”

“You don’t know.”

“Think so?” There was a little flutter of hope in his chest that he wasn’t sure if he should make room for. No doubt, he really wanted to but he didn’t want to give in to fruitless desire. He’d just end up even more hurt.

“Truly anything is possible, Emilio. As you put it, relationships at this age take a lot to be able to last. Not that I’m wanting Alicia to end up hurt but it’ll be amazing if they make it.”

“Okay but let’s say they don’t make it. How am I supposed to get Joseph to see me as more than just a friend? Boys probably aren’t even his thing.”

“Maybe he just doesn’t realize that boys are an option. Maybe you need to make him see that.” His father groaned a little as he tried to get a little more comfortable. “They don’t pan out? Don’t be afraid to make the leap. What’s the worst that could happen?”

Deciding to give in to the soothing feeling of hope, Emilio smiled. His dad was right. How bad could it possibly go?

No offense to them but he really hoped Joseph and Alicia wouldn’t work out.

  

* * *

 

Throwing a ball at the ceiling, Joseph was ready to die of boredom. He couldn’t take it anymore. There was no urge in him to play with his toys or games and no desire to focus his mind on reading. He could maybe play outside or take a walk but he wasn’t feeling those options either.

Boredom sucked.

He didn’t bother moving to get the door when the bell rang until he remembered that his mother wasn’t home. His tetíncho’s words did nothing besides for make her more cautious. Joseph almost wanted to tell his uncle so he could come back and yell at her some more. Maybe after enough screaming and shouting, she’d realize just how stupid she was being.

“Coming,” he called as he bounded down the stairs. “Who?”

“Um, Alicia.”

Halting in his tracks, Joseph contemplated this development. Maybe her coming to him was even better than him going to her. Taking up his pace again, he unlocked the door and opened wide, smiling as he did. “Hi.”

“Hey,” she smiled back, her face already filling with some color. “Uh, can I come in?”

“Duh,” he laughed while letting her in and shutting the door. “Sorry, forgot my manners while I was looking at your pretty face.”

Her face was officially red now as she curled a stray hair behind her ear and murmured “Thank you.” Fiddling with her fingers and biting the corner of her lip, she said “I, uh, wanted to talk to you about, um…”

Joseph knew exactly what she wanted to talk about but he was going to let her say it. “About?”

Glancing around the house, Alicia asked “No one’s home?”

“Just me,” he shrugged nonchalantly. “Do you wanna talk in my room instead of us just standing here all weird?” Easier access to the bracelet that way. Something told him that today was the day.

“Sure, yeah.”

Taking her hand in his, they walked upstairs and to his room together. They sat upon the bed and Joseph made a questioning face while still holding her hand. “So?”

She flicked a glance to their hands then closed hers tighter around his own. Looking back to him, she whispered “So.”

Raising a brow, he noted “You said we needed to talk?”

Her eyes lowered to his lips; he wouldn’t mind just skipping the talking part. Less room for embarrassment or awkwardness. Also, he didn’t really get a chance to see if he liked kissing her yesterday. The kiss had been too quick for proper analyzation.

Lowering his own gaze to her pretty mouth, Joseph realized that unless he moved, nothing was going to happen. He leaned forward and pressed his mouth softly to hers and kept it there. If she wanted this, then she’d have to make the next leap.

And leap she sure did.

Her mouth opened and once he was given that green light, Joseph went for it. He figured he should at least thank Ivet one of these days for giving him a quick practice session as he slid his tongue against Alicia’s and explored her mouth.

She tasted good.

Joseph didn’t know if that was because he liked girls or just because people could taste good. How was he supposed to discern it all? Why did it have to always be so complicated?

His next thought bounced to the fact that he hoped he tasted as good as Ivet said he did. The last thing he wanted was to be the boy whose kiss was actually disappointing.

And he should really just stop thinking so much as Alicia practically mauled his mouth. She was way better at this than Ivet was.

Turning his brain off, he focused on kissing the wonderful mouth before him. There was a lot of sliding, sucking, and nipping.

This was pretty good.

Alicia must agree because she was practically out of breath as they continued. Every moment or so, they’d take a second to catch their breath before diving in once more.

For how long they kept at it, Joseph had no idea. The only thing that occurred to his brain was the contact between them. Eventually, he had no idea when he had done it, but Alicia was lying down as he followed her down, kissing her with everything he had.

They were so engrossed in each other that they both jolted apart in shock and fear when a humored voice said “Enjoying yourselves?”

Joseph scratched his head in embarrassment while licking his bruised lips as Alicia quickly sat up and tried to fix her mess of hair. “Uh…” he couldn’t help but laugh as he answered “Yeah, actually.”

Alicia was so red that Joseph was amazed she didn’t explode or something as she looked down at the messy blanket and mumbled “Extremely.”

There was a ginormous smirk on his father’s face as he leaned in the doorway. “Extremely, huh? Interesting. Anywaays, couple pointers? You probably want to lock the front door if you don’t want anyone catching you.”

“Noted,” Joseph laughed. “Definitely noted.”

Shaking his head as he walked away while chuckling, his father called “You should offer her a brush!”

Looking to Alicia who was still trying to fix her frizz, Joseph asked “Uh, did you want a brush?”

Halting her fingers, Alicia looked at him and said quietly “Is he leaving?”

“Yeah. He probably forgot something. The man somehow functions to all of our amazements.”

“Oh, then,” she smiled suggestively, “I won’t need it yet.”

It was his turn to become red. “Riiight. Right, okay then.”

There was a rhythm of knocking on the wall of the hallway as his father’s head popped into the doorway. “I wanted to give you guys warning. See how awesome I am?”

“Totally, Mr. Kavinsky,” Alicia laughed. “Thanks.”

He pointed at each of them. “Important, listen up. In no way or how are those clothes to come off. Hands stay on top of said clothes and Joseph if your mouth goes anywhere lower than her collarbone, you won’t have a mouth anymore. Got it?”

Putting a hand to his mouth, he asked “Seriously?”

“Damn straight. Are we all clear?”

Alicia nodded quickly, “All clear. Clothes stay, hands on clothes only, and no lower than collarbone. Totally got it.” She was talking fast and Joseph was sure that it was because she was trying to get his father out of the house.

From his face, Joseph could tell his father knew exactly that. “Jesus, I don’t know if I’m ready for this. In a few months, I’ll be back with the ‘if there’s sex, Joseph won’t have a dick anymore’ talk.”

Cupping himself because he didn’t appreciate having his penis threatened, Joseph exclaimed “Seriously?”

“Yes.”

“I’m twelve. No sex will be happening anytime soon. For years, even.”

“Good. Keep it that way.”

With a face on fire, Alicia muttered “I think you’re taking this way too far ahead for the moment.”

Raising his hands defensively while clutching whatever the box he forgot was, his father replied “I like to cover my bases early. Crazier things happen than a twelve year old deciding to have sex with his sixteen year old girlfriend. It’s not as farfetched as you guys may think.” Once again pointing at them, he repeated “I’m serious though. No sex. That includes any sexual act; not just limited to what you guys are thinking of.”

Joseph liked to think of himself as pretty educated but he was obviously missing something. By the face Alicia was making, she knew whatever these ‘acts’ were. Probably from that class she took or something. “There are different kinds of sex?”

Clenching a fist of success, his father cheered “My child is still a little innocent. Thank you.”

“So you’re not going to tell me?”

“No. Ask your girlfriend. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind saying all the things she could with her tongue.”

“Mr. Kavinsky!”

“Hey, we both know it’s true. And for that matter, you won’t have a tongue to use if it is used in that manner.”

“Tatko!”

Rolling his eyes, he replied “We all know Raul is going to give the same exact words that I did except probably not as crude. It’ll still include threats, though.” Smiling, he added “Anyways, I’ll lock the door with my key so you lovebirds don’t have to get up and you guys can resume eating each other’s faces.”

“You’re so embarrassing,” Joseph muttered into the cup of his hands while shaking his head as his father walked off laughing.

Giving a noise of agreement, Alicia mumbled “I can’t wait to hear papa’s version of that conversation.”

“Me too, actually. Tell me about it afterwards,” his father said as he popped back in. Looking to Joseph, he asked “Where’s mayko?”

He shrugged and replied “Out. Shopping.”

“Out shopping,” his father repeated while nodding his head. He tapped his fingers on the wood where he clenched the doorframe. “Out shopping.”

“Yeah.” Joseph’s heart wasn’t quite beating as his father was contemplating the answer for way too long. “She’ll be back soon and you’re kinda using mine and Alicia’s time soo…”

The blank look disappeared as the smile turned back on. “Of course. Shame on me. Enjoy yourselves and I’m serious about what I said.”

Once they heard the door close, they looked back at each other. Joseph pecked her on the lips but got off the bed to her distress. “I have something for you,” he explained while opening his closet. “I hope you like it.”

“I’m sure I will,” she said excitedly.

“Technically, you don’t know that,” Joseph mumbled as he took out the box and walked back to her. “Um, I feel like I should have wrapped it or something,” he said, handing it to her. “Sorry.”

Shaking her head as she accepted the jewelry box, Alicia replied “It’s fine.” He bit his lip as he watched her open the box and take out the bracelet. “It’s so pretty!” Smiling at him with sparkling eyes, she added “Thank you! I love it!”

Blowing out a sigh of relief, he laughed “Okay good. I was a bit worri-” He was stopped when her lips pressed to his, stealing a kiss from his mouth.

“Thank you,” she whispered against his mouth.

Figuring that she’d love a kiss more than a you’re welcome, Joseph cupped her face and pulled her in, kissing his girlfriend deep.

Girlfriend.

Holy crap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')


	105. Chapter 104

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> Sooo all this romance stuff? It's pretty necessary. One, it's pretty normal for preteens with crushes/first time relationships and two, Joseph has serious issues with his sexuality by the time we reach The Raven Cycle. Not only that but his life is sex, drugs, and cars. You don't just magically become sexual prowess dude one morning. So those two things are what all this romance and stuff ends up leading to - internal/external homophobia and sex god (no way he doesn't call himself that).
> 
> This chpt is a monster in size. I was going to divide it into two or make the second part a snapshot but then I decided not to. It's a giving week, might as well finish it out.  
> NOTE: If any formatting or anything looks or seems weird/wonky, my bad. The editor was acting super weird and turning all my quotations into special characters and I had to do some long manual pain in the ass fixings.
> 
> Enjoy today and I'll see y'all Sunday!
> 
> _“You know whose this is? I’ve never seen it before.”_

Throwing a pillow at a very quiet Emilio, Joseph said from where he was on abuela’s bed “Can you just yell at me or something instead of this silence? I’d like that better.” He had talked to Emilio about him and Alicia over the phone the same day they got together but he hadn’t been able to come over to talk it out in person.

Three days later, here he was.

It was pretty uncomfortable.

Sighing from where he was lying on his bed after putting the pillow under his head, Emilio replied “People yell at people when they’re mad. I’m not mad.”

“You’re something. I’m not an idiot.”

“You’re dating my sister.”

“Yes.”

“It wasn’t a question. That was the answer.”

Eyebrows drawing in at his confusion, Joseph admitted “I don’t get it.”

Huffing out a breath, Emilio sat up and turned to look at Joseph. “You’re dating my sister and I didn’t even know that you liked her. I would’ve never guessed in a million years because not once did it ever seem like you were interested in her. So… I guess I’m more…confused than anything else.”

“Oh,” he mumbled. No one would have ever guessed because Joseph _wasn’t_ interested in her. Making out had been awesome but that was because he was a hormonal boy, nothing else. He still hadn’t gotten that sparkly feeling. “I’m not exactly the obvious sort of person.”

“I mean, I guess, but still. As your friend of practically five freakin years, I’d like to think that not only would I be able to tell if you were interested in someone but that you’d have the decency to tell me. Especially because she’s my sister.” He huffed a laugh, “Okay so yeah, I am a bit mad.”

“Saying sorry sounds kinda stupid so can you just like smother me or something and we’ll call it good?”

Shaking his head as he laughed, Emilio replied “We’ll just call it good. I’m too lazy to drag my butt over there to suffocate you with a pillow. I’ll get to you later.”

“That’s what you said almost a week ago,” Joseph snorted. “You ain’t getting nowhere.”

“I’m just waiting to surprise you is all. Don’t be hasty.”

He sat up and looked intently at his friend. “So you’re not mad? Like for reals, we’re okay?”

Emilio shrugged and sighed “We’re okay. Hurt my sister and I’ll kick your butt.”

“Sounds good,” Joseph laughed. “I’m not a jerk, you know.”

“I’m just saying. Giving you fair warning because I’m such an awesome bromilio.” Emilio fell into a silence that Joseph found a little odd. It was like the stifling uncomfortable kind – something that never passed between them. “Joseph?”

“Emilio.”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Uh, okay…” This was getting slightly worrisome.

Scratching his head and then smoothing down the hair he stuck up, Emilio said quietly “The day my dad got shot, you gave me your shirt.”

Joseph’s heart stopped. Something told him he knew exactly where this was going. He was so stupid to completely forget about it when he had removed his shirt. “Yeah…”

“Why do you have a huge scar? It’s fresh, meaning it hasn’t been that long.”

He unconsciously touched his chest where Diana had cut him open. Ever since then, she was always in his dreams whether he liked it or not. The creepy part was that they were an odd form of friends; they’d talk about whatever and act like she had never attacked him.

It was odd and scary but way better than her hurting him so he dealed.

Gnawing on his lip because he was at a complete loss for an excuse, Joseph eventually murmured “Do you remember when you said you’d rather hear ‘I don’t want to talk about it’ than ‘nothing’?”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Okay,” Emilio nodded slowly, “Okay. Just know that I’m always here for you.”

Getting up, he walked over to his friend and hugged him tight. “Thanks.”

They both looked in the direction of the door when they heard the front door open and shut. The voices of abuela carried with that of Linda and Alicia. Alondra had also gone with them so she must be asleep or something. They had been visiting Mr. Vidal; Emilio had wanted to go but it seems he had been hogging all the visiting time.

So he didn’t get to go.

“Hola,” abuela said as she walked in, placing her purse on the dresser. “How are the trouble twins today?”

“Eh, decent enough,” Joseph replied, sitting next to Emilio on the bed.

Alicia’s head popped up behind her grandmother, a huge smile on it. “Hi, Joseph!” She edged around abuela and came bouncing to him, throwing herself on the bed next to him.

He was about to say hi and give her kiss when abuela said “No kisses.”

“Abuela!” Alicia exclaimed, face flush.

“Why no kisses?” Joseph asked while intertwining his fingers with Alicia’s. He may still be gay and not get that amazing suffocating feeling you were supposed to get from kissing someone you felt for but Joseph really enjoyed kissing.

Really really enjoyed it.

“I can survive without seeing lovey doveys.”

“Aw, abuela, leave the room then,” Alicia laughed. “I kinda wanna kiss my boyfriend.”

Grabbing the house phone off her nightstand, abuela snorted “Oh I’m leaving, no worries.”

Once she walked out, Joseph leaned in and placed a kiss on Alicia’s sweet mouth. That’s all he was going to do in the beginning anyways. He wasn’t going to devour her mouth in front of her brother. That’d be weird. Still holding Alicia’s hand tight, he shoved Emilio with the other. “You wanna play outside?”

Blinking at him, Emilio asked “Aren’t you going to eat your girl’s face?”

Slapping her face with her free hand, Alicia muttered “Oh my God…” while Joseph laughed “Not that I’m aware of, no. I came to play with you if you recall. Seeing her is my extra bonus of being here.” Winking, he added “I’ll kiss her senseless next time.”

Rolling his eyes while laughing, Emilio snorted “Ohkaayyy. You do that.” Getting up, he dug through his closet and pulled out a soccer ball, raising it to Joseph. “Good?”

“Yeah, sure. My arm doesn’t enjoy throwing still, so kicking is good.”

“Does it still bother you?” Alicia asked in concern, stretching herself behind him to feel his arm. She prodded gently at his shoulder, “Maybe you should see a doctor.”

Shaking his head, he said “It aches but it’s not worth it. It’ll heal with some rest.” The last thing he wanted to see was a doctor. His mother had never actually forced him to see one after their fight – she had been more worried about the discovery of her affair.

Joseph had expected her to yell at him or something for telling tetíncho but she never did. All she did was act like the whole thing never even happened. He didn’t know if that was a good thing or not.

“You’ve been resting it for almost three months,” Alicia noted, “If it still aches ‘till now, it could be serious.”

“She’s got a point. I’ve been telling you for weeks to let mama take a look at it. She can at least make sure you don’t have swelling or something,” Emilio added while pulling on his shoes. “I don’t see why you keep saying no.”

 _Because if anyone looked a little too hard at my arms, they’d see some really faint scars that they don’t need to know about. Especially your mom._ He shrugged, “Seriously, I’m fine.”

Sighing, Alicia rested her head on his shoulder. “You’re an idiot.”

He clucked his tongue, “You make it sound like you expected different.”

“Fair enough,” she laughed, once again holding his hand tight.

Once Emilio had his shoes all laced up, he jumped to his feet and asked “Ready?”

“After you, good sir,” Joseph replied as he stood, unlatching himself from Alicia. “You ready to lose?”

“Pfffttt, you fool. I’m Latino. Soccer is in my blood.”

 

 

Brushing grit off the side of his leg carefully, Joseph said “I’m sorry for insulting your soccer prowess but I don’t think I deserved this.”

Emilio was standing over him, full concern covering his handsome face. “Sorry. We’ll wash it; you should be alright. There’s a reason they don’t play soccer on the street, huh?”

“Definitely,” Joseph laughed as he used Emilio’s arm to stand up, wobbling a little on his aching, bleeding leg. “It’s cool. I’ll survive from a scrape.”

“Pretty big scrape,” his friend noted as he helped Joseph limp back to the apartment building. “My bad, broseph.”

Hopping up the stupid stairs, Joseph replied “Don’t worry about it. It’s okay to be a violent soccer player, I guess. Very passionate, you are.”

Laughing as they went up the stairs, Emilio opened the door and said “Alicia’s probs gonna kill me.”

Dragging himself in and making his way to the bathroom, Joseph snorted “Probably.” Reaching the restroom, he closed the toilet lid and plopped down onto it, stretching his injured leg out.

“What happened?” Alicia asked with wide eyes as she was suddenly in the doorway. “Are you okay?” She crouched next to him, looking at his leg carefully.

Emilio walked in with a couple napkins and soaked one in the sink, squeezing out the excess moisture and handing it to Joseph. But before he could grab it, Alicia reached for it and began carefully dabbing his leg clean.

“Thanks,” Joseph hissed through gritted teeth from the pain. It stung like crazy. “And yeah, I’m fine.”

“You guys are too rough,” she muttered while continuing her administrations.

“Eh,” Emilio shrugged, “We’re boys; we’re supposed to be.”

“That’s sexist. Girls can be rough too. Just ‘cause you’re a boy, doesn’t mean you are naturally entitled to being rough.”

Joseph’s leg twitched back when she started pressing a little harder to get the finer grit and dirt out. “She’s got a point.”

Leaning against the sink and watching Alicia, Emilio said “You’re her boyfriend, you have to agree with her.”

“He doesn’t.”

“Would you prefer he disagrees with everything?”

“I’d prefer that he sticks to what he believes in and not change anything because of me. I like him how he is.”

The heat of embarrassment filled his cheeks. God, did he hope he’d end up liking her more than as a friend. He’d feel so guilty at the end of this all if he ended up still feeling the same. Joseph didn’t want her hurt.

Once she cleaned him up nicely, Alicia looked up at him and asked “Okay?”

Smiling, he leaned down and caught her mouth in a kiss. A really nice one that let him taste her. Separating but an inch, he whispered “Thank you. I feel a lot better.”

Alicia was brighter than a tomato as she whispered back “’Welcome,” and pressed her mouth to his.

“Sigh.”

Falling into laughter, Joseph looked to Emilio still leaning there. “You did not seriously just say ‘sigh.’”

Grinning and then falling into his own beautiful laughter, he replied “I totally just sighed.”

“No, no, I said ‘say sigh.’ Not if you sighed, you fool,” Joseph laughed while shaking his head.

“Same difference, amigo,” Emilio grinned. “All the same.”

Rolling his eyes after pecking Alicia with one last kiss and standing, Joseph said “You’re such a dork.”

“The best ever.”

“But of course.”

 

  

* * *

 

Nikol walked into the restaurant, looking around for the one she was surprisingly having lunch with today. She had gotten the text in the morning and had nearly had a heart attack from her shock. Not only was it from someone she didn’t expect but it used manners.

Something was definitely up.

Worried was an understatement to what she was brewing with right now.

Spotting her party, she walked over and sat down in the seat opposite. Luckily, she had been able to get their neighbor to watch the kids for her. Andrey was old enough for himself and Anka but she didn’t want to force Albena onto him. A two year old was too much for a thirteen year old to handle.

“Hey,” she smiled. Nikol would start with her own manners and see where they went. If she found that she wasn’t receiving any, then she would just drop her own entirely. Being nasty came to her quite naturally when it was required.

“Hi,” Ivo breathed what sounded to be tiredly while giving her this weird half smile. Something was bugging him, she could easily tell. “I haven’t ordered; figured I’d wait for you.”

“Thank you,” Nikol replied while opening the menu and checking out what they had. Her stomach hadn’t been agreeing with a lot of things lately. She hadn’t checked yet but she had an inkling as to why. “I had to get Albena settled with the neighbor; that girl’s a handful.”

“No problem,” he shrugged, not opening his own menu. Either he already looked or he wasn’t hungry. “No rush, really.”

“No pressing mob things?” She asked curiously. How it all worked she never really knew; she figured it was like a business if anything. “You can just disappear for lunch?”

Ivo smiled. “Technically, I should be allowed to do what I want. Reality and a group of old men say that is foolish thinking which makes no sense to me. Of course, I’ve never cared what reality and old men have to say to me.”

She couldn’t help the snort that escaped her as she waited for the waiter to come by. “So you disappeared.”

“Well, I told Yulian that I’d be out. That should count for something. I need a competent person in charge while I’m gone.”

The relationship between her husband and Ivo was something that would always confuse her. There seemed to be no one Ivo trusted more but then…they hated each other? Only they didn’t. They may say it but to her eyes, they seemed more like a weird form of brothers or friends.

Men were such headaches.

After they placed their orders, Nikol prompted “So what’s up? Don’t say you missed me or something stupid like that. You and me doing lunch is so unnatural, I thought the world was ending.”

Giving her another half smile, he tapped his fingers on the tabletop and said “After lunch.”

He was nervous. That was definitely odd. When was the last time she had seen him nervous? _Joseph’s birth probably. But that was nerves and terror…_ “So what do we talk about during lunch? Sitting in silence is a bit weird.” She’d die of suspense during lunch, so she’d make sure to eat as fast as possible.

“Small talk, I guess.”

Raising a brow, she muttered “When was the last time you and I held civil small talk?” _Before you beat my sister for carrying your child._

Her inner monologue was always so helpful.

A small laugh escaped his lips. “Fair enough but we’re grown ass adults, I’m sure we can manage it just once.”

Rolling her eyes and taking a sip of her water, she replied “I guess. So how’s my adorable nephew?”

His face lit into a genuine smile. She remembered the days when the mention of Joseph would piss him off. “Your adorable nephew has a girlfriend.”

She practically choked on her spit. “No. Way.”

“Yup,” he laughed. “Older girlfriend. Sixteen to be exact.”

“What?” She exclaimed in shock. “No freaking way.”

“Swear to God. I mean, I wasn’t all for it at first buuttt they’re damn adorable. You can’t help but root for them.”

“Holy crap.”

Nodding while laughing, Ivo replied “Exactly. Catching my twelve year old making out with his girlfriend on his bed was definitely something I’ll never forget.”

“Joseph? Innocent adorable Joseph?”

“Innocent no more, Nikol. I’m pretty sure he was trying to see just how far in he could get his tongue.” He took a sip of his own water and added “Pretty sure she was encouraging him too.”

Running a hand through her hair, Nikol mumbled “Damn. Andrey’s gonna be jealous.”

“Nothing’s stopping him.”

“From what I understand from the very little I’m allowed to know, the girl doesn’t seem interested.” And that was what she had managed to pry from Yulian. Andrey wouldn’t talk to her about it at all. She asked Yulian if he knew who the girl was and he had said no but he had a hunch.

Not that he’d share, that ass.

“Bummer.”

“Incredibly,” she sighed after taking another sip. “So who’s the girl?”

Amusement flickered through his eyes. “Ready for a shocker?”

“Aw man, I know her, huh?” She thought for a minute before adding “The only two girls who are around that age are Ivet and Alicia. Ivet’s only fifteen though.” She knew she had her answer when Ivo’s brow raised. “Alicia? Damn, Joseph. Nice.”

“He agrees,” Ivo snorted as the food came.

They kept up their talk until their plates were clean. They had made sure to keep to the subject of the kids; things were easier that way. But once the plates were empty, Nikol took a deep breath and murmured “Soo…”

Sighing and once more tapping with his fingers, Ivo looked down at the table. It had to be something huge; Ivo wasn’t like this often. “Um…I-I wanna ask you something.”

He was stuttering. Jesus Christ. Her heart was beating fast from her worry. Whatever was going on had him frazzled. “Okaaayyy.”

Still staring down at the table, he murmured so quietly that she almost missed it “D-Do you…do you think Vesela is cheating on me again?”

The amount of shock that came with hearing that question froze her completely. No words articulated in neither her brain or mouth. Finally shaking herself back into the moment, Nikol said “What?”

Letting out a deep shaky breath, Ivo lifted his head and pillowed it in the palm of his hand, leaning on the weight of his elbow. “I think Vesela is cheating on me again. But I also think that maybe I’m just paranoid so…so I thought I’d get your opinion. You’ve always been good at noticing things.”

“Ivo,” she laughed nervously because while he may be paranoid, he didn’t see things that weren’t there. Vesela couldn’t be that stupid, could she? “Don’t be ridiculous.”

Biting his lip, he murmured “That’s what I keep telling myself. But…it’s just… dammit, I don’t know. I just don’t fucking know and it’s driving me insane.”

God, did she pray her sister wasn’t that much of an idiot. There were days where she just didn’t understand Vesela. It was like she was a complete foreign stranger to her instead of her little sister that she’d grown up with. “Okay, let’s break it down. Why do you think she’s cheating again?” She hated how the word ‘again’ was there.

Sitting up and leaning back in his chair, Ivo replied “She’s almost always out when I come home in the middle of the day. Which I guess isn’t weird but everytime it’s always ‘where’s mayko’ and Joseph says ‘shopping’ or ‘just out.’ It’s just…I don’t know… And then there’s the things she suddenly has which also really isn’t that suspect because she could easily buy them for herself with all this ‘shopping’ but…” He huffed while shaking his head, staring down into his lap.

“What kind of things?”

“Jewelry. That bracelet she always wears? Did you ever ask where she got it?”

Nikol leaned back in her own chair, thinking. “You mean the leaf one?” He nodded. “I did actually because it’s so pretty. She said she was…out…shopping.” That line was suddenly very suspect. “Maybe she bought it.”

“That’s what I figured at first,” Ivo said while crossing his arms. “But that thing is real and expensive as fuck. Neither of the accounts that we use for everyday stuff have a purchase that would suffice for that. It wouldn’t make any sense for her to take out cash and pay for it that way, either.”

Her stomach started bubbling from her worry. His reasoning was good. But then, he was Ivo. It was always good. The bastard was fucking brilliant. “Maybe one of the other accounts?”

He shook his head, “Those are used for huge things like my cars or stuff for the house. We don’t pull from those unless we have to. And anyways, I did check them. Nothing. I even checked the ones that are just holding accounts even though we’ve never used them. Nothing.”

She couldn’t help but bite her thumbnail nervously. Damn that habit; she never got to grow her nails because of it. “Shit.”

“Shit,” Ivo agreed. “Look, I know that I’m not the most fucking amazing husband to ever exist and I even know that I’m shittier than Yulian is at it but I don’t think I’m that bad. I try. I fucking try every goddamn day to give her everything she fucking wants. To make her feel special and to know that I’m always thinking about her. I don’t fucking get it.”

Yulian was definitely a better husband than Ivo could be for obvious reasons but even her amazing husband didn’t do all that. He didn’t have to give her the goddamn world; she knew he loved her. It wasn’t a husband’s job to treat his wife like a freaking queen. Yes, he had to be an actual decent human being but, Jesus, spoiling was kind of ridiculous. Vesela had a good life minus her abusive piece of shit. There was nothing he denied her; she wanted it, then she got it. He never stopped her or told her no about anything. Even when he had barely had anything, he’d make debts to give her what she wanted.

He took her silence as a push to continue. “She swore to me the first time that it was because I wasn’t giving her enough. Enough of me, enough time, enough things. I give her every goddamn fucking thing now. What am I missing?”

Blinking at him, Nikol realized that what she thought and worried was anger at Vesela was actually the opposite.

Ivo was mad at himself.

“If you know, I’d appreciate the help so I can fix it. That way she’ll leave whoever this cunt is.” Huffing as he covered his face with his hand, he mumbled “I don’t know who he is or why he’s so fucking special and I don’t fucking care, I just want my wife back. That’s it.”

“You’re assuming she’s cheating.”

“So are you.” Blowing out a frustrated huff, Ivo muttered while still hiding in his hand “I love her so fucking much, Nikol. I can’t imagine not having her or-or not waking up to her beautiful face every morning. Just…tell me what I’m missing.”

It was on the tip of her tongue to say that maybe skip out on the condescending remarks or hurtful words but she kept her mouth closed. Nikol knew that those didn’t matter to Vesela. That wasn’t what made her look to another man. But what was?

She had no clue.

“I don’t know.”

Removing his hand from his face which now looked horribly depressed, he kept his gaze away from hers and whispered “I don’t either. I know I’ve got…issues but I’d think she’d at least realize how much I love her if nothing else. Love is what makes a relationship, not things.”

“I don’t think it’s about the things, Ivo.”

Anger flashed in his eyes but was gone as quickly as it came when he turned to her. “Then what the fuck is it,” he mumbled in defeat. “I just don’t get it.”

“Hey, maybe were both stretching threads here. Maybe we’re just getting way ahead of ourselves. We don’t know.”

Nikol knew that he could tell that she didn’t believe they were stretching it but he let it go. “Yeah.”

“Can I ask for a promise?” She always wondered why Ivo believed so strongly in promises. What made him commit to them so readily and fiercely? All she ever came up with that made sense was that someone never kept promises to him. Someone always broke whatever words they swore to him and he wanted to be different.

She’d never ask though. Despite their years of knowing each other, his life was a mystery to her besides for major things like his father and brother’s murders, his escape from Bulgaria, and his time on the streets. One time she had actually asked Vesela if Ivo talked much about his life and the answer had been no. When her sister lied, Nikol could always tell.

Vesela hadn’t been lying.

His eyes glowed with curiosity. “Of course.”

“If…if Vesela is cheating…please don’t hurt her. Please.”

His cheeks flushed – something she hadn’t seen in years – and while looking down into his lap, Ivo murmured “I really try not to. I swear. It’s just…I snap I guess. I didn’t want to hurt her, it just…happened.”

 _Twice._ “Whatever it may be, just please. Get angry, yell, scream, break things for fuck sake, but please don’t touch my sister. Please, Ivo. I don’t like seeing her in tears while covered in bruises.”

“I don’t either,” he whispered ever softly. “I promise it won’t happen. I swear to fucking God.”

Whether his promise would hold, Nikol had no idea. He had only ever broken one promise ever in his life since she knew him.

Hopefully it wouldn’t become two.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')


	106. Chapter 105

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> See you Tuesday! Enjoy!
> 
> _"Promise he’s really awesome at listening."_

“Why are you wasting your time?” Diana asked curiously while munching on a poor songbird. It had been alive five minutes ago.

Joseph shrugged while trying not to look at the bloody mass in her hand. “I like her. I don’t love her and probably never will but I like her and…kissing is totally awesome.”

“Why don’t you make someone who you’ll love? Why search in that stupid world you hate? No one is what you need.” She licked her fingers once she devoured the entire bird, bones and all. “Just make your version of perfect.”

Tilting his head in curiosity, Joseph wondered about this. He had always wondered if he could take out animals but never people. How would he explain the sudden appearance of a person? For that matter, what did he do with the ones that came out wrong? They were a dream object regardless if they were alive or not; they didn’t always come out perfect. It took repeated practice and attempts.

What the heck would he do with stock piled bodies?

“Make something to get rid of them, silly.” He hated how she just knew what he was thinking. Sighing as she stretched out and laid upon the grass, Diana said “You’re so smart and yet you’re not. So weird.”

“Huh…it’s a thought…” he murmured. “But I don’t need to make myself a perfect person. My perfect already exists.”

“But you know you can’t have him.” Shrugging like it was no big deal, she added “Make a girl version of him or something.”

He shook his head, “I want the real thing not a knockoff. A girl Emilio wouldn’t be the same as the actual amazing bromilio. Practicing dreaming people is a good idea but I don’t need to make a perfect person. I don’t want one anyways.”

“So what? You’ll bounce from one girl to the other until you’ve used them all up?”

Feeling slightly annoyed, Joseph muttered “I’m not ‘using them all up.’ I just have to find a girl that I can stick with.”

Sitting up with a sigh and shaking out twigs from her long hair, Diana noted “You’re never going to find that, Joseph. You don’t want a girl.”

“I can change.”

“You haven’t yet. All Alicia has done has made you a horny preteen.”

Blushing, he muttered “Gee, thanks for pointing out the obvious.”

“I’m here to remind you of things you forget, ‘member?”

“I thought you were here when you were needed.”

“Exactly! I am always needed now to remind you of where you are in life. And to make sure you do not steal so much. The forest does not appreciate thieves.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Joseph sighed, “If anyone had bothered to tell me before, I wouldn’t have been stealing. But since I didn’t know, it doesn’t count.”

She curled a piece of hair into her mouth and spoke around it. “How is it said…whatever floats your boat?”

“That’s it. Anyways, maybe I should practice with animals before people.”

Diana shrugged like she didn’t care as she slid out one claw and cleaned her teeth. He had been grossed out the first time but now it was so normal it didn’t matter. “As you wish.”

The dream started to get fuzzy and there was an echo of his name. Someone was waking him up. Saluting to Diana, he thrust himself into wakefulness.

Something he wished he knew how to do when he was trapped in a nightmare.

Blinking open his bleary eyes, Joseph came face to face with his father. Yawning, he stretched and mumbled while closing his eyes “Hmm.”

“I, uh, need help finding something. I don’t know where I put it.”

A small laugh escaped his tired body. “One day you’re gonna lose yourself.”

“Whatever,” his father muttered while nudging him again. “C’mon, I wouldn’t have woken you if I didn’t need to. Jesus, I wish I could take a nap at four in the afternoon.”

Stretching again, Joseph opened his eyes and yawned. “’Kay,” he mumbled sleepily, “I’m up.”

“Thanks. I’m trying to find a silver lockbox. I thought it was in my office but no cigar.”

Getting out of bed without jostling Peanut, Joseph rubbed the sleep from his eyes. “Should we check your room?”

Walking out while expecting Joseph to follow – which he did – his father said “I checked my closet and found nothing, so I’m thinking under the bed maybe?”

“Can’t you check that without me?” he yawned as he loosened the last of his tired limbs.

“You check one side, I get the other. I’m late as fuck; figured two people would find faster than one.”

“Okay, okay,” Joseph replied while dropping to the floor on his father’s side of the bed. He lay himself down and began pushing all the junk under the bed around. “Silver lockbox you said?”

He was on the other side, lying on the floor checking. “Yup.”

“Why’s there so much junk,” he muttered mainly to himself although from his father’s laugh, his guess was that he heard. “We should do spring cleaning or something. We missed out already on winter cleaning. Too bad.”

“People go on vacation during winter vacation, not cleaning sprees.”

“Well, we didn’t do that either.” He shoved what looked like one of Peanut’s toys out from under the bed. _Wonder how that got there._ “We did nothing, kinda per usual.”

“Sorry. Work is not the easiest thing to get away from. And plus, you spent it with Alicia in your lap. What the hell you complaining for?”

Rolling his eyes, Joseph mumbled “Not all the time. Sheesh. We’re not clingy.” Granted, they had spent _a lot_ of time in each other’s company. Most of it spent kissing, groping, and, more recently, grinding.

Joseph may not love her but God did he love the stuff they did. If stuff was this good with clothes still on, it must be insane with them off.

Man, he couldn’t wait.

Screw Diana.

Being a horny preteen was pretty awesome for the time being.

“What the hell?” Joseph heard his father mutter as something sounding like tape ripped. “Whose is this?”

“Whose is what,” he asked as he stood and rolled over the bed to the other side, sitting on the edge. Blood stopped flowing and time froze as he saw what his father was holding. “Oh…”

It was his mother’s second phone.

Johnny’s.

“Oh?” his father repeated with a raised brow. “You know whose this is? I’ve never seen it before.” Biting his lip hard, Joseph stayed silent. He was angry and mad at his mother for her continued affair but he’d never sell her out. “Joseph.”

He shook his head quickly as he heard the front door open and his mother call out “Hello! I’m home!” Joseph sent a thousand prayers to God that thankfully today was one of the days where she actually was out shopping and not with Johnny. Groceries had needed replenishing.

“Joseph,” his father said with a harder voice, annoyed for not getting a proper answer. He flipped the phone open and turned it on, waiting for it to boot up. “Hello, I’m talking to you.”

Biting harder to where he tasted blood, Joseph just shook his head again. He was on the verge of panicked tears when his mother turned up in the doorway with a smile and a cheery voice. “People say hello, my men.” She faltered when she realized what was in her husband’s hand.

Standing, his father waved the phone at her. “Whose is this? Your son doesn’t seem to have an answer for me.”

Face turning slightly pale, she whispered “Ivo.”

Clenching the phone to the point of having white knuckles, his father said steadily “The passcode.”

“Ivo, I-”

“Passcode,” he interrupted. “Give me the fucking code, Vesela.”

Tears welling in her eyes and crossing her arms protectively, she mumbled “9821.”

Typing it in and, Joseph guessed, going straight to messages, his father began reading in an animated voice mixed with anger and hysterics. “Johnny to Vesela - Can’t wait to see you Tuesday, babe. I love you. Vesela to Johnny – love you too, miss you and seriously cant wait. Johnny to Vesela – I got you something special, hope you love it. Vesela to Johnny – If it’s like the last one, I’ll love wearing for it for you, you know that.” Clenching the phone even tighter than Joseph thought possible, his father let out a laugh.

“Ivo,” his mother tried again, attempting to keep the fear out of her voice. She wasn’t entirely successful. “Listen for a min-”

“Shut up. Just shut the fuck up,” he hissed through clenched teeth. “I fucking knew it.” Joseph felt his eyebrows raise. “I knew it, I knew it, I FUCKING KNEW IT!” he shouted as he flung the phone into the wall, shattering it into pieces. “I CAN’T FUCKING BELIEVE YOU!

His father shouting wasn’t something Joseph was accustomed to, it rarely happened. It was so freaking terrifying and he wasn’t even the one on the receiving end. He couldn’t even think of a time when he was in the same room as his shouting father. He kind of wished he could just walk out right now.

“WHAT DON’T I FUCKING GIVE YOU, YOU STUPID FUCKING WHORE! WHAT!” His father grabbed the lamp off the nightstand and smashed it against the wall behind him, resting his head on it afterwards while clenching a tight fist against it. The fist was shaking from how hard he was restraining himself from lashing out.

“I give you fucking everything,” he whispered in what Joseph swore was tears. He couldn’t catch a glimpse of his father’s face but he could hear the brokenness of his voice. “Every goddamn thing and it’s not good enough. Then what the fuck is, I don’t understand. I just don’t.” His father shook his head while still resting it on the wall, “I just don’t.”

“Ivo.”

“Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Just shut the fuck up. I can’t. I can’t fucking deal with this all over again.” Silence followed as both parents sniffled on their tears, the pain suffocating the room. Joseph sure as hell felt like crying with them as his life was crashing down around them. “How long.”

“Four years,” she whispered. Somehow, Joseph wasn’t even close to surprised.

“Four years. Four fucking years,” his father laughed hysterically. “Four fucking years, my wife – the woman I love so god fucking much – has been with another man.” He shook his head against the wall and murmured “I think I’d be less upset if it was just sex. But no, an entire fucking relationship. Four years.”

“I’m sorry.”

“The fuck am I supposed to do with an apology, Vesela. The fuck…” It amazed Joseph that his father didn’t even sound angry anymore. Just broken. There was some sniffles and a huff of a broken breath before he added “I can’t do this again.”

Wringing her hands, she walked a step closer then stopped from her fear. He hadn’t lashed out yet but it didn’t mean that he wouldn’t. “Ivo-”

“Give it to me,” his father interrupted, halting whatever it was she had to say.

“Give you what?” his mother mumbled around her tears, wiping them as she spoke.

Turning and facing her – he didn’t bother wiping his own tears – his father snapped “My mother’s ring. Give it to me, you don’t deserve it.”

Nearing his own heart attack, clenched his jaw tight as he prayed he didn’t understand what he just heard. His mother’s hand flew to her chest as she covered her wedding ring with the other. “You gave it to me. You can’t-”

“I can and I will. I’ll be the fucking asshole who takes back what he gifts. Give me my mother’s ring, you stupid fucking whore.” His voice cracked as he continued “You’re not the woman I married and being that you aren’t her, you don’t get to keep the ring I asked her to spend her life with me with. Give it to me.”

Joseph choked on his tears as he cried into his hands as his mother shakily slipped off the ring he had never seen her remove. Her own tears were steadily running down her face but she was silent. Hand shaking, she held it out to his father. Grabbing it from her, he removed his own ring – what was his own father’s – and squeezed both rings tight in his fist. “Now if you don’t mind, I’d appreciate it if you packed your shit and got the hell out of my house. I can’t look at you anymore.” He shoved past her and out the room, “I just fucking can’t.”

Joseph sat on the edge of the bed trying his best to stop crying but he couldn’t manage it. Everything just hurt too much as his family was falling into shambles. They were all he had and now they were broken.

Lucky him.

He didn’t know when his mother had come to him but he was grateful for her tight embrace. “Y-You’re s-so s-stupid,” he hiccupped.

Rubbing his back, she whispered “Trust me, I know.” She crouched down to his level and held his face in her hands. Tears were a mess over her face but her voice was strong. “I’m not gonna put you in a position where you have to pick me or him. That’s not fair. Just…promise you’ll call me everyday?”

Nodding his head fiercely, he wrapped his arms around her neck, hugging her as tight as he possibly could. “P-Promise.”

She held him close, pressing kisses to his head and brushing her fingers through his bedhead. “I love you, don’t ever question that, okay? I love you,” she punctuated each with a kiss, “I love you. I love you.”

Pressing his own kiss to her cheek, he cried “L-Love you too.”

Hugging him with one last fierce embrace, she stood and yanked her suitcase out of her closet. She grabbed another bag from his father’s closet too so she could pack everything.

And out dropped a silver lockbox.

Joseph had never hated a box so much in his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather   
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')


	107. Chapter 106

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> Happy 4th! Well if, you know, you live in the US like mwaa and it's Independence Day. Or maybe I'm just wishing you guys to have a happy 4th regardless of why. Try not to be so depressed that it's Kavinsky's anniversary, yeah?
> 
> So I'm sure y'all thought Sunday's update was odd. No note from the epic rambler, no preview, not even the dictionary was put in (It's all fixed and pretty now, if you read it after noon Pacific time you wouldn't have noticed anything). Truth is...I had a really bad weekend. Like epically bad and I'm not gonna lie, I wasn't even gonna bother posting on Sunday. I was just that...out of it is a good way to put it I guess. But I, like Joseph, really hate disappointing ppl and disappointing y'all by not posting without warning wasn't something I could do. So I threw the chpt up and yeah... I'm better but not the best
> 
> I know there's probably some of you who think I just say the stuff about commenters brightening my day and whatever for the hell of it but I really don't. Hatty, Saffooo, and Goldfish taking their time to even write just a sentence made me feel worlds better. Maybe that sounds sentimental or stupid or like I'm super sensitive or whatever but it's true. So really thank you guys. It means a lot to me when you take the time out of your day to just let me know your thoughts.
> 
> So let's get out of all that sappy explanatory stuff and get back to the story yes? I hope you guys liked last chpt; it's actually one of my favs. I think it was written well. It was supposed to have an awesome note and stuff but, you know, see above lol
> 
> For today? Well if there are any Yulian fans out there (any?) or just dudes wondering about him, you'll like this chpt  
> Enjoy!
> 
> _“So how are you really feeling?”_

He wasn’t sure where his father was or if he was even still in the house. Truth was, he didn’t care. After seeing his mother to the door, he dragged himself and his tears to his room, slamming the door shut and burrowing under his blankets. Peanut kindly joined him minutes later.

When he was aware again, he realized he must have cried himself to sleep. His head was now out from underneath the blankets and there was a warm body sharing his bed. He didn’t need to turn his head to know it was his father clutching him tight. His cologne was pretty distinct.

In a good way.

Turning, Joseph looked at the man’s face as he was asleep. It was puffy and red still from his own cries. The day he never thought he’d see was his father broken by tears. He had seen it only once but that was after coming off a mental breakdown. This was just pure straight up sadness.

It didn’t look good on his father. It made who Joseph believed to be the strongest man in the world incredibly vulnerable. If this man couldn’t handle the world, Joseph wondered how he was supposed to.

Brushing the hair out of his father’s face caused an eye to slit open. Once he realized Joseph was awake, both eyes opened, still full of pain and sadness. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, his voice still cracking.

Blinking at him in surprise, Joseph asked “Because?”

“I took your mother from you.”

“Oh.” After a silent minute, he replied “I’m sorry too.”

“Because?”

“Your wife’s been cheating on you.”

“Oh.”

He felt a prick in his leg and then scrambling movement as Peanut shoved herself up from under the blanket, forcing herself between them. “Ouch, Peanut.”

Stretching out a hand, his father rubbed her head as she purred in content. “You’re interrupting a heartfelt moment, cat. Fucking rude.” Peanut simply continued to purr, used to his father’s words as her tongue slid out in happiness.

“Guess you’re really late now, huh?”

Sighing as he flipped onto his back, his father murmured “Asen came and picked it up while you were sleeping. He also very kindly brought me two six packs that I plan on enjoying tonight. I mean, I could have said a twelve pack but there’s something satisfying about holding two packs than just one.”

“Like beer you mean?” His father hummed in agreement. Joseph didn’t really like that his father was going to drink but he understood. “You should invite tetíncho.”

A snort came from his father. “You seriously didn’t just say that.”

“He’s great for conversations and he likes beer. He’s your guy until you’re ready to talk to Mr. Vidal. I figured you aren’t yet soo…tetíncho. Promise he’s really awesome at listening. I’ve tried him out before.”

“I know all that,” his father huffed, still staring at the ceiling. “But the man always manages to give me a headache somehow.”

“Probs because he’s always right.”

“That bastard.”

Rolling himself onto his back and staring along at the ceiling, Joseph murmured “I don’t think I’m allowed to agree with that statement.” His father gave a laugh but there was no feeling to it. “He knows, you know.”

His father’s tapping fingers froze on his stomach only to continue seconds later. “He would, wouldn’t he… You knew.”

It wasn’t an accusation like Joseph expected it to come out as. It was just a statement. “Suspected for awhile and knew for sure almost a year ago.”

“Out shopping, huh?”

Biting his lip in his discomfort, Joseph whispered “I couldn’t sell her out like that. I…I didn’t know what you’d do.”

Silence fell but was broken not a minute later. “I don’t blame you. I don’t know what I would have done either.”

“You said you knew it.”

“I’ve been suspecting…for awhile I guess, like you. But I didn’t want to believe it. I kept telling myself that I was seeing shit that wasn’t there. But I guess I’m not delusional yet. Too bad.” Turning to look at Joseph, he asked “How do you know Yulian knows?”

Sighing, he muttered “He found me in Jersey City yelling at the guy. I don’t exactly know what he heard but he put it together in two seconds. Dude’s smart that way.”

“If I was up to it,” his father sighed, “I’d ask but I don’t think I feel like it. I don’t care.”

“When we got home, tetíncho yelled at her a bit but obviously it didn’t do anything.” Remembering that day, Joseph added “I never thought it but he can be terrifying. His voice is like a booming canon or something. Sheesh.” _Not as terrifying as yours though._

“Oh yeah, he can yell if wants to. He could rip a person to pieces with his voice and words. Shocking, huh?”

“That quiet mannered tetíncho has a nasty mouth like you? Yes. It’s weird.”

“Hey,” his father laughed slightly. He sounded a little more like himself but Joseph just figured it was because they were talking away from touchy subjects. “I’m not that bad.”

Yawning and stretching out his body, Joseph mumbled tiredly “So you gonna invite him or no? You’re trying to get off topic here.”

Huffing and rolling onto his stomach, his father muttered into the pillow “Fiiiine. He only gets one beer though. I don’t wanna share with him.”

Joseph didn’t know about alcohol tolerance levels but his father drinking eleven didn’t sound good. “He gets two and you can’t have more than five or I’m hiding them.”

“Jesus, party ruiner.”

“Pooper but same thing, I guess. And you should let him sleep here. He shouldn’t drive after drinking.”

Mumbling something into the pillow that Joseph didn’t catch, his father said louder “Fine, although he wouldn’t have anyways. He’s done that once already and look where that got him.”

A spark of curiosity ignited in Joseph. This sounded like a possible good story and right now he’d take anything to distract him from his current situation. “Do tell.”

His father turned his head sideways and put his arms around the pillow. “That’s how he became a mobster. I’m surprised you don’t know this. Somehow, you always seem to know everything.”

Raising a brow and rolling his eyes as he sat up and looked down at his father, he repeated “How he became a mobster?”

“Yeah. Drunk frat boy got behind the wheel of his fancy Mercedes after a party and hit the brother of one of your dyádo’s advisors. The man died on impact. Obviously, your tetíncho was arrested and all that lovely shit that goes with stuff like that. I had been working for your dyádo for little more than a year by then.”

“Wait, tetíncho hit a guy? And was arrested? Are we talking about the same man?” Shocked was the least he could describe himself as right now.

Nodding and making himself more comfortable, his father continued “When your dyádo and the advisors found out he was Bulgarian, they pulled some strings and got him out of the holding cell while also clearing his name of any criminal case. There was no civil suit filed as the only family the man had was his brother the advisor. Timotei got into contact with Yulian’s parents saying he wanted a moment to speak with their son. Set up a meeting at home base and told him how he was now in their debt.”

“Whoa…” Joseph said in awe. “Dyádo totally played him.”

“Sure did,” his father snorted, “Sunk him in without an alternative. He had no choice but to join up after they worked and cleared his name. Also there was the obvious debt of the life taken. His parents had actually come with him to the meeting and tried every which way to convince Timotei and the advisors otherwise. Didn’t work obviously.”

Peanut curled into his lap, making herself comfortable. “Were you there?”

“I came like half way into the meeting. I hadn’t been here long so my English was still complete shit and I figured that sense everyone in the room was Bulgarian, we wouldn’t have language issues.” He started laughing as the memory came to mind. “Turns out your tetíncho was Bulgarian in blood only; he didn’t understand a word I said. Okay, maybe like a couple but those were words that babies know.”

“Tatko,” Joseph rolled his eyes, “He speaks Bulgarian just fine.”

“Now he does. Sure as fuck didn’t before. When I realized he didn’t understand me, I started mocking him and made the jokes worse and worse when his parents started getting angry. Why they didn’t teach their son, I’ve no clue, but they understood every word I said. They were super pissed,” he laughed. “Good times.”

That’d probably explain why whenever they came for a visit to tetíncho they didn’t seem happy seeing his father.

“Who taught him then?” Joseph couldn’t say he’d ever noticed a flaw in his tetíncho’s speech.

“I did.”

Scrunching his brows, Joseph pointed out “But you enjoyed mocking him. Why teach him?”

Giving another yawn as he rolled back to his back, his father replied “Necessity. Your dyádo figured that sense he was only a little older than me, we’d work good together.”

“Oh boy.”

“Exactly. We couldn’t stand each other but when we had something we had to do, we needed a way to actually speak to each other. So I taught him Bulgarian and he taught me English. Granted it started as us constantly giving each other nasty words but hey, it worked. We’re both fast learners.” He pointed at Joseph and added “Another reason your dyádo wanted him. Valedictorian and all that shit. He had a full scholarship for Yale and was going to be a lawyer. Man had a future.”

His mouth hung open in his shock. “Full scholarship…”

“Full,” his father nodded. “When I say your tetíncho’s smart, I’m not just blowing up his huge ass ego. He’s beyond fucking brilliant. Your dyádo wanted the genius boy to be on his side.”

“What happened to his scholarship?”

“Once the school found out what happened, they took it back. He had already done two years of schooling and they made him pay it all back. His family couldn’t pay everything so what they couldn’t cover-”

“Dyádo payed for, putting tetíncho even more into his debt,” Joseph finished. “Dyádo’s a freakin’ mastermind.”

“Damn straight,” his father agreed as he sat up, ruffling a hand through his hair. “Your dyádo was more than just a sweet looking old man. He wasn’t the creator of the mob for nothing.”

“I miss him,” Joseph murmured when the image of his wonderful grandfather came to mind. “I miss him a lot.”

Dragging him into a hug, his father rested his head upon Joseph’s. “Me too,” he sighed after a deep breath. “Me too. God…what I’d do to have him back.”

He knew he was toeing a dangerous line but Joseph wanted to give it a chance. “If you could have him or dyádo Yosef, who would you take back?”

His father stopped breathing for a minute before he whispered “Timotei. No thinking necessary.”

It’d been awhile since Joseph and his grandfather had had an appointment. And now that Diana was always in the forest, he didn’t think it was safe enough to bring him around. Joseph had no clue what Diana might do or how she’d react.

He kind of wished he could get his father an appointment though. Just so he could hear dyádo’s voice. _Wait a sec…_

“Um…I wanna ask something buuuttt…”

“Just ask.”

“Do, uh…”

 

  

* * *

 

“…you hear your dad the way you here dyádo?”

Blinking in surprise, Ivo separated from Joseph and stared at his child before him. It was one thing for Yulian to know about his fucked up mind but he didn’t like the fact that Joseph knew. It made him a bit uncomfortable.

Scratching his head, he replied “Uh…” Should he be truthful? They had had enough of lies today, hadn’t they? “Sometimes. Buutt…uh…he’s…not as welcome as Timotei. I…don’t appreciate when he offers his thoughts.”

Joseph just nodded like it was completely okay for a person to hear voices in their head. After a moment, he said “You should call tetíncho.”

 

 

“Door’s open,” he replied from the kitchen to the knock. Yulian opened it a minute later, nodding a hello and slipping off his coat. “Outside ‘cause I’ve got a very talented eavesdropper.”

A smile formed on the other man’s face. “I’m aware. He’s good.” He backtracked and grabbed his coat back. “I have no intention of getting sick today,” he explained when Ivo raised a brow.

“Don’t be such a sensitive soul.”

“Hey, you wanna freeze in January weather, knock yourself out. I, on the other hand, don’t really want to.” He leaned on the island and watched Ivo while he pulled the beer out of the fridge. “No whiskey today?”

“I thought about it,” Ivo admitted, “But then I realized I need a lot of alcohol in my system right now and I don’t really want to go through my whole cabinet.”

Yulian hummed and nodded. “Joseph?”

“Fell asleep although I doubt that it’ll last,” he paused a minute before adding “I thought I’d have to fight Vesela for him. I’m surprised she didn’t try.”

“Said she didn’t want to have to make him choose. Wanted him comfortable in his own home.”

Ivo turned and stared. “You…talked to her?”

“Stopped home for dinner,” Yulian nodded, “Didn’t think you were gonna feed me.”

He actually hadn’t been planning to, mostly because it hadn’t occurred to him more than anything else. Looking back into the open fridge, he pointed at his and Joseph’s leftover spaghetti. “Your only chance.”

Laughing, Yulian shook his head. “I’m good. Just gimme my beer.”

Taking out the second pack and placing it on the countertop, he shut the fridge and notified “You only get two.”

“Don’t be fucking stingy,” Yulian snorted while grabbing the first pack.

Raising his free hand in his defense as they walked to the backyard, Ivo said “Hey, not my rules. Joseph says you get two and I get five. We go over, he stashes the beer somewhere.” He hit the switches for the lights of the backyard, opened the door, and walked out. “Also, he says sleep here because drinking and driving is a no no.”

His brother-in-law followed him out, shutting the door behind them. “You motherfucker.”

“What?” Ivo couldn’t help but laugh as he walked down the stairs and out to the chairs they had in the grass. He knew what was coming.

“You fucking told him, that’s what.”

Settling himself into one of the wicker benches while putting his feet up after slipping off his shoes, Ivo replied “Nooo idea what you spout.”

Throwing himself into the bench across from Ivo after placing the six pack on the floor, Yulian snorted “You’re such a jackass.”

Grabbing a beer and opening it, Ivo raised it up. “I’ll toast to that.”

Taking his own drink, Yulian opened it and tipped it to Ivo. “To your jackassery.”

“A-fucking-men,” Ivo cheered before he swigged down the biggest gulp he could manage. “Amen.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')


	108. Chapter 107

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)  
>     
> 1000 dudes. 1000 hits! That's so awesome! I have interested at least 1000 ppl to at least click on my story and hopefully I haven't disappointed anyone in my storytelling.
> 
> So two things. One is there's a new snapshot! My bro wanted to see when Vesela shows up at Nikol's so that's been posted. Pretty much coincides with chpt 105/6. It's got a touch of yelling, some stupidity on Vesela's part, and quite a bit of 'I told you so' from Yulian. Even a tidbit of Andrey.  
> Two is that to celebrate 1000 hits (I like celebrating things) I've thrown in an extra snapshot! It's fun stuff - watching game one of the World Series at Ivo's. Includes Ivo, Yulian, Raul, and eventually Joseph, Emilio, and Andrey.  
> Here's an excerpt to catch some unwillings' interest.
> 
>  
> 
> “Maybe you should just take them off.”  
> “What?” Yulian asked, blinking boredly at Raul.  
> “Your shorts,” Raul snorted, “I mean they aren’t really doing much anyways. Also, I didn’t know boxers come that low.”  
> Rolling his eyes with a smile, Yulian pulled up his shorts slightly. “I mean, if you’re looking for a show…?”  
> “Oh Jesus,” Ivo said with disgust, “Don’t you dare. I will legitimately murder you both today.”  
> “Eh,” Yulian laughed, “I don’t think he can afford my price anyways.”
> 
>    
> Today's chpt is pretty long and has a variety of lovely ppl - Joseph (obvs), Ivo, Yulian, Emilio, and Raul. Star studded line up lol  
> Enjoy!
> 
> _“I could do without the hate, thanks.”_

Blinking, Joseph stared down at what he thought he must be dreaming of because this wasn’t typical. Like at all. It had never happened in Joseph’s twelve and a half years.

Peanut came from behind him and stood on two paws, using the other two to balance herself, leaning over Joseph’s side. Hell, even the cat was surprised. He quietly and carefully pushed her down and slid out of bed, making sure to keep his feet close to the edge of the bed.

Successfully navigating himself out of his room without causing any sort of damage, Joseph quietly shut the door behind himself and made his way downstairs, using the bathroom there. Once he was all fresh and more or less ready to face the day, he followed the tantalizing scent of food to the kitchen.

“Morning,” his tetíncho said, catching sight of Joseph as he dropped an omelet on a plate. Putting the plate on the island, he grabbed a cup and poured some juice. Poured some coffee too. “You want breakfast? I’m willing to put the effort for you.”

Joseph laughed as he sat up on a stool across from his uncle. “So I feel that implies tatko’s gotta make his own breakfast?”

“Yes,” he smiled while pointing to the cooling pan. “Making you something?”

Flicking his eyes to his tetíncho’s plate, Joseph decided it looked pretty delicious. “Might as well test your skills. They seem to pass the ‘looks good’ exam.” Still lost in the fantastic smell, he added “The ‘smells good’ test too.”

Rolling his eyes while placing the pan back on the stove, he grabbed a couple eggs from the fridge and began the process once more. “Just eat mine and I’ll have this one.”

“I don’t mind waiting.”

“I imagine not but it’ll get cold and won’t be up to standards anymore.”

“Good point,” Joseph replied, dragging the plate over to himself along with the glass of orange juice. “I’m stealing your juice too.”

“Enjoy.”

A comfortable hush fell over them as Joseph ate and tetíncho Yulian finished cooking another omelet and sat himself down across from Joseph. “So?” Mouth full of food, Joseph merely hummed. “Does it pass the ‘tastes good’ test?”

Swallowing, Joseph nodded. “Really good. I’m shocked. I thought frat boys just buy food or eat anything they don’t have to cook.”

“Your father’s an ass,” tetíncho muttered around a bite of egg. “Such a complete ass.”

“Hey, hey, he gave you beer without charge. Give the man some credit.”

“Wow, I’m so honored,” the older man laughed, “So freakin’ honored you have no clue that after all these years, he had the decency to allow me a couple beers.”

Scratching his hair that he forgot to brush, Joseph said “He’s sleeping on my floor.”

Tetíncho Yulian nodded. “Said he didn’t want to sleep in the room alone.”

Joseph nodded slowly while picking at the last few bites of food. “Makes sense I guess,” he murmured after a moment. “Must be lonely.”

“I guess it would be.” Joseph looked up when his tetíncho reached over and tapped his head to get his attention. “Are you okay?”

His feelings were something he didn’t want to talk about. Not really because of who he was talking with, it was just that he didn’t want to have to admit to them and have any sort of contact. That made the entire situation too real. He settled for a shrug which didn’t seem to satisfy the man. “Joseph.”

Shrugging again, he looked down at his food and whispered “It’s not home without her here. Feels too big and empty and I don’t like it.” Biting his lip to halt his prickle of tears, he added “But I can’t even blame him for kicking her out. What she was doing was wrong.”

He wasn’t sure how his uncle took those words because Joseph never bothered to look up and the man was completely silent. The sat in silence as they finished their breakfast. The quiet was starting to get to him so he said “Lawyer, huh?” His tetíncho just grunted in what Joseph figured was the affirmative. “How come a lawyer? You like that sort of stuff?”

“Something I was good at, I guess. Can’t say it was exactly what I wanted but what I wanted was stupid in my parents’ eyes. I enjoyed doing debates and stuff so lawyer seemed like a decent segue.”

“What did you want?”

“Math.”

Joseph glanced up from his empty plate, narrowing his eyes at the man before him. “How exactly is math stupid?”

He shrugged a shoulder and replied “To them it was. What was I supposed to do with math? So I figured lawyer which they were more than happy to support.”

“Tatko said you had a scholarship.”

A look of melancholy fell. “I did,” he sighed. “Definitely screwed that up.”

Taking a gup of juice, Joseph asked “Do you regret it all?”

His tetíncho was quiet as he thought, what Joseph figured to be, carefully. After some time, he finally said “I regret that I took a man’s life. But I can’t regret more than that.”

Taking peoples’ lives was probably so commonplace to him now that it probably didn’t really bother his uncle anymore. “Nothing else? Your scholarship, I don’t know…parents’ disappointment? Being a mobster?”

“Obviously losing my scholarship was extremely depressing and facing my entire family was complete hell but…if I didn’t become who I am now, I would have missed out on things that I’d never regret in any lifetime.”

“What’s that?” Joseph inquired curiously.

“My kids. Meeting your tétka. If I never got behind the wheel that day, I would have never met her and would have never been blessed with my beautiful children. So I can’t regret what happened. Because then I wouldn’t have the most important people to me in my life.”

“Oh,” he murmured. He liked that answer a lot. It was so meaningful and thoughtful. He wondered… “Do…do you think…do you think my parents regret having me?”

The size of his tetíncho’s eyes from this question was huger than huge. More ginormous than ginormous. “Joseph, don’t ever think that.”

“I’m not stupid,” Joseph said quietly, “I know they never wanted me in the first place.”

“Whether or not they were ready in the first place isn’t the question. They love you, Joseph. I know that maybe sometimes it may be hard to tell or there might be doubt but they do love you.”

Shaking his head, he pointed out “I didn’t ask if they love me. I know they do. I said do you think they regret. There’s a difference.”

The sea of his eyes became intent and sharp. Resting his arms on the island, tetíncho asked “If I were to ask you your opinion on that, how would you answer. In all honesty.”

“I’m asking you.”

“And I you.”

Huffing, Joseph mumbled “I don’t know. I’d obviously like to believe there’s no regret but sometimes… sometimes I’m not so sure. Sometimes I can’t tell. Like…like times like now. Maybe if it was just them… maybe they’d be better than they are.”

“Joseph, their problems are their own. They exist because of themselves; not because of you. Don’t put that blame on yourself. Not ever. If you were to ask your father whose fault this current mess is, do you know how he will answer?”

“Duh, mayko.”

Surprise filled him when his aunt’s husband shook his head. “He’ll blame himself like the last time. He’ll come up with some excuse to wipe away any blame she should hold. Not once would it ever occur in his mind to blame you. Not now, not ever. Does he say things he shouldn’t sometimes? Yes, I imagine he does. Are they hurtful and put these doubts in your head? I’m sure they do. But you will never find him blaming you. So don’t blame yourself.”

Joseph was going to respond when the toilet upstairs flushed. They waited patiently and after a few minutes, his father and Peanut came from the stairs. “Morning,” he muttered, rubbing his head and looking all around not that great. “Jesus fuck, hangovers are a bitch.”

“Shouldn’t have drank so much,” tetíncho Yulian replied as he pulled out a water bottle and the bottle of ibuprofen, setting them on the island.

“I needed it,” his father mumbled, taking two pills from the bottle and downing them with his water. He chugged the entire bottle in a matter of seconds and stood blinking for a minute before taking a deep breath. Looking down at Joseph, he smiled crookedly “I may have gone over my five limit.”

Pursing his lips in displeasure, Joseph asked with narrowed eyes “How much is ‘over’?”

“Uh…two extra. They were necessary.”

“Tsk,” Joseph shamed, “Tsk, tsk, Lord Kavinsky.”

“Sarcastic brat,” his father snorted. Flicking his gaze to tetíncho, he asked “So where’s my breakfast?”

Clucking his tongue as he stood, he replied “Don’t know. Suppose you gotta make it, eh Lord Kavinsky?”

“Ha. Ha. You’re sooo funny.”

 

 

After cleaning his room, Joseph had sat down and called Emilio. Alicia dropped in whenever and Joseph felt that it would be wrong if she knew before he told his best friend.

His friend hadn’t taken the news well and decided that instead of the day that he and his dad had planned together, they were coming over.

Joseph was secretly excited at having his friend come here for support but also felt guilty that he had ruined Mr. Vidal’s day off. He didn’t get them often and couldn’t even use them often either for him to use it for Joseph and his father.

His father had taken the news of them coming well. Whatever had been the heaviest on his chest had been unloaded on tetíncho Yulian – who had left earlier to act as head for the next few days – and now he was ready to let off another load to his friend.

Jumping off his bed when the doorbell rang, he and Peanut made their way downstairs to the door. “Emilio?”

“Yup!” Came the call from the other side of the door.

Opening up, he gave the best smile he could before he was strangled into a tight hug from his bromilio. He was more than happy to return said hug because despite the ones he had shared with his father and even the one he had accepted from his uncle, Joseph needed another.

Mr. Vidal walked in behind Emilio and shut the door behind them all, locking it all up. He crouched to Joseph’s height and pulled Emilio out of the way, who laughed at the forced separation. Giving Joseph a concerned once over, Mr. Vidal asked “Are you okay?”

Scratching his head and remembering that he still hadn’t brushed his bedhead, Joseph mumbled “Not too bad, considering. We had tetíncho over and he’s pretty helpful when he wants to be.”

Giving a small laugh, Mr. Vidal said “You need to give the man some more credit, you know.”

“You’re right,” Joseph nodded, “He makes a mean omelet. He gets props for that.”

“Why didn’t I get one of these mean omelets?” His father asked as he came in from the garage. “I’m hurt.”

“You only gave him two beers. He should have got more.”

Pointing at him as he walked over, his father said indignantly “Hey. Hey. That was your call.”

“Yeah but if you got two extra then he should have got two extra,” Joseph pointed out. “Unfair.”

Rolling his eyes, his father muttered “I was the one who needed to get drunk, not him. He was just my drinking buddy. He had to stay mildly sober.”

“Two beers isn’t what I’d call sober,” Mr. Vidal informed as he stood.

“That’s ‘cause you a po-po.”

Emilio choked on his laughter. “Guess that’s a way to put it.”

Grabbing Joseph’s arm, he dragged him upstairs to leave the adults to their own conversation. Once they reached Joseph’s room, Emilio let go and shut the door. He paused as he stared at the blankets still on the floor. “Slept here?”

“Yeah,” Joseph sighed as he got up on his bed. “Didn’t want to be in his room alone. I could have joined him, so I’m thinking he just didn’t want to be in the room at all.”

He walked over as he nodded, sitting up besides Joseph. “So how are you really feeling?”

Tugging on his long sleeves nervously, Joseph stared down into his lap. “Not…not so fantastic…” Emilio was silent as he waited for him to continue. “It’s not the same without her here. I-It happened once before…she came back after two weeks.”

“She came back or your dad let her back?”

This was something he had never thought about before. He shook his head, “I don’t know. I was only seven, I didn’t really know much or pay too much attention outside of the fact that she was gone.” _And that she left me just sitting there, crying for her._ “But…but that time he didn’t take the ring back. M-Maybe he doesn’t want her back because…”

“He took it this time?” Emilio finished.

“Yeah…” Joseph whispered. “He said she didn’t deserve it. I-I’m just hoping he’s just super upset and that’s all. I don’t think I’d like my parents not being together. I mean, she deserves it but…I don’t want them to be apart.”

“Did you talk to him about it?” His friend asked while looking deep in thought. “I think you should.”

Biting his lip, he replied “We kinda just…go around it or avoid it entirely. That way we both don’t end up hurting. It’s easier.”

Scrunching his eyebrows as he thought even harder, Emilio said “Joseph, hard conversations are hard for a reason. They’re important and sometimes they hurt or make you uncomfortable but they need to be done and said. They need to be talked about, not around, and that’s what makes them easier.”

Sighing in all his depression, Joseph murmured “Why do you always have to be so freaking smart.”

A smile cracked on Emilio’s face. “Because I’m that freaking amazing, homeboy. Duh.”

  

* * *

 

Letting out a sigh, Raul said “Ivo, I didn’t ruin my day off with my _only_ _son_ to sit here in silence for the past half hour. Speak, fucker.”

That managed to earn a small smile from the man lying on the other couch. “I don’t know what to say,” he murmured finally. “I…I feel like my heart was just ripped out and cut up and shat on. With like diarrhea.”

“I know that feeling,” he sighed while ignoring a mental image he didn’t want. “But cooping it all up inside isn’t the answer or solution.”

“Four fucking years.” Raul was in as much as shock as he knew Ivo had to have been in from this news. “Four long fucking years she has been screwing someone behind my back. Not just screwing but doing things like gifts and dates and…” he let out a ragged breath, “A whole fucking relationship and I was too stupid to even notice. I was just happy to get her smile and that’d always be enough for me. I never seem to be enough for her though…”

“Is this the part where you try to blame yourself again? Because I will once more tell you how much bull that is.”

Staring up at the ceiling, Ivo replied “It’s the only thing that makes sense. If I were enough, then she wouldn’t try to find whatever was missing in someone else. So yes, it’s my fault.”

Toeing off his shoes, Raul stretched himself on his couch and put his feet up, joining Ivo in the game of ceiling staring. “Ivo, I’m not gonna do the whole crap where I try to convince you. You’re a smart man, don’t be stupid for her. She broke the trust between you two; twice. Stop covering for her.”

Silence followed his words until it was broken by a whisper. “I love her too much not to.”

“So?” Raul knew exactly what that sentence implied. He genuinely loved Vesela like a sister but he didn’t agree with what Ivo was going to do.

“So I want her back. I couldn’t even last a night alone; I crashed in Joseph’s room. I couldn’t stand the fact that she wasn’t there.”

“This has happened before though if I remember right.”

He shrugged a shoulder and answered “Yeah but it…it was different. She left, I didn’t throw her out and…there were other…issues.” Raul wondered what those were. “Plus, Timotei was alive and it helped having old man wisdom. Now all I’ve got is frat boy and you.”

Snorting, Raul asked “Anything wrong with us?”

What he expected was a trademark comeback or some kind of sarcasm. All Raul got was utter defeat. He didn’t like. “No, but having Timotei around would be nice. And help. And…and then I was trying to prove a point so I didn’t have much energy left to think too hard on her being gone. Also, I was pissed then; now I’m just…aching. Hurting.”

“Point?”

“What?” Ivo asked as he turned his head to stare at him with a raised brow.

Turning his own head, Raul pointed out “You said you were trying to prove a point. What was it?”

Ivo suddenly looked uncomfortable. After a minute of nothing, he answered “I was trying to prove to everyone that I cared about Joseph.”

That was interesting. Was there a time when this was questioned? Ivo had mentioned before that he thought he was a bad father. “Did you?”

“You’re asking me if I care about my son?”

“I’m asking you if at that time you cared. Past tense, dear mobster.”

Averting his gaze down to his fiddling fingers, Ivo mumbled “I cared. I just wasn’t showing it very well – I didn’t know how to show it. But I’m better now. Joseph says I’m a lot better and he’s not typically a liar so I’m taking his word for it. It’s something I’d like to believe.” He fell silent only to sigh a second later and add “I…I wasn’t ready when he was born. Like…at all. I didn’t want kids at the time so it was really hard for me to handle.”

Raul could understand this a bit; he definitely wasn’t ready when Laticia turned out to be pregnant. “I used the pregnancy months to get myself ready. I mean, I spent a couple months of that time in the hospital after getting out of the life but I prepped then too.”

Running his lower lip between his teeth, Ivo murmured “I spent that time trying to get my wife back.”

He sat up in his surprise. “What?”

Ivo just shook his head. “Nothing. Forget it.”

“Ivo-”

“No.”

Once Ivo decided to shut down, no one could get him to open again. Whatever moment they had had was long gone now. Raul sighed in defeat as he lay back down. “So taking her back then?”

“Joseph deserves his mother.”

“Even if you guys are divorced, he’d get his mother through custody. And looking at this in a police way, she’d probably get full custody anyways. Even though you’ve never been arrested and technically don’t have an official record, a court would give the mother before the mobster father.”

“Well, fuck, thank you for depressing me more that I’m already feeling.”

He just shrugged. “There’s no way you’d ever divorce her and I don’t think she’ll be leaving you either so don’t worry so much about it. Can I offer my thoughts on what to do? What I’d do?”

“Please.”

“Don’t take her back yet.”

“Raul-”

“Just listen,” he interrupted, “Four years is a long fucking time to be cheating. For four years, she’s had the two men she wanted. If she loves you and seriously wants to be in this marriage, then she needs to understand what life would be without you. Don’t take her back yet. She’s probably betting on you taking her back any day now. Don’t do it.”

“I tell you that I literally cannot survive without her, you fucking fucker, and you’re telling me not to take her back. The fuck is wrong with you?”

Sitting up and facing the stupid idiot in front of him, Raul said firmly “Ivo. If she doesn’t see what life is without you then she’s never going to learn. She’ll just do it again and again because nothing would have changed. She knows that you’ll just take her back no matter what she does.”

Sitting up himself, albeit slowly, Ivo rubbed his face before asking “What about Joseph?”

“Unless you are going to deny him seeing or speaking with his mother, then he can go to her everyday. That’s not a problem. He’s very smart, he’ll understand.”

“Do you do that with Maria?”

The change of topic slowed down his brain. “Huh?”

“Do you deny Maria her mother?” Ivo explained. “I don’t think she’s ever been mentioned once besides for the talks between me and you.”

“I’d never deny Maria her right to speak and see her mother. Not in a million years; I have absolutely no right to. If she wants to get in touch with her, she knows that option is always open. But she doesn’t want to. Maybe that has changed recently or will eventually but as of now, she says she has no reason to reach out to the woman who she was never important enough to. I’d never ever tell her she can’t.”

Nodding slowly, Ivo whispered “So…taking her back is a no?”

“Your decision is your own, Ivo,” Raul sighed, “I can only offer my advice.”

He bit his lip and revealed “Yulian says I should make her wait too. But that before I make any final choice, I should talk to Joseph about it.”

“Good advice,” he nodded. “Use it.”

Blowing out another huff of air, Ivo nodded with his head in his hands. “Okay.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')


	109. Chapter 108

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sambamart
> 
> Some angry Joseph anyone?  
> P.S. Did y'all like the snapshots? I don't get feedback on those usually sooo I'll just assume they were good?  
> P.P.S. See you Thursday
> 
> _“I thought sex was in a few years.”_

Joseph and his father were laying on the floor in the living room, staring at the ceiling. It was something so natural now – ceiling staring – that it was like breathing. There wasn’t a day that went by that didn’t include looking up at the ceiling. It was the best way to think.

They had moved the coffee table and laid out on the carpet. “So…” Joseph started.

“So,” his father sighed. “So, so, so…”

“Uhuh.”

His father was silent before murmuring “If…if I were to pose this whole situation to you…what would you do?”

Thinking for a second, he replied “If I was you?” His father made a noise of agreement. “If I’m thinking like Ivo and not Joseph then…then I’d be angry. Well, angrier because Joseph happens to be angry.”

“Talking in third person is weird as fuck,” his father interrupted with a murmur.

Ignoring him like he hadn’t spoken, Joseph continued “As Ivo, I…I don’t think I’d handle seeing her right now. I’d be really hurt and upset and I’d want her to feel that too. As Joseph… I’m dying to hear her voice.”

He turned his head to look at him. “As Ivo, I am hurt and pissed and upset. As a father, I feel like a complete piece of shit for being the reason you two are apart.”

Shaking his head, Joseph pointed out “You’re not stopping me from going.”

“But I’m the reason she’s gone.”

“She’s the reason she’s not here,” Joseph said. “She made this whole stupid mess by herself.”

Turning his gaze back to the ceiling, his father asked “You don’t think I had a hand in it?”

“Tetíncho said you’d try to blame yourself. Now you have further proved that the man is never wrong. Well done.”

His father simply sighed instead of picking up the banter. “I was going to tell her to come back today.” Joseph’s heart skipped in happiness but dampened only seconds later when he realized there was a ‘but’ coming. “Both Yulian and Raul say that’s a bad idea. What do you think?”

Taking a minute to think about this, Joseph realized that maybe they had a point. “I don’t think they’re wrong,” he whispered “But I really want her back.”

Fingers tapping on his stomach, his father replied “I think they’re right too. And I think if two smart men are giving me advice, then I should take it. I know that it’s far from easy for you but…I think she needs to get in her head what it’ll be like without me.”

Heart constricting, Joseph murmured “So no mayko?”

“No mayko for me. For you, you can talk and visit and sleep whenever. I would never stop you.”

“So no mayko here?”

“No.”

Joseph nodded sullenly. He understood, he really did, but it didn’t mean he was happy. “Okay.”

Looking to Joseph again, his father whispered “Okay?”

“Okay,” he reassured. “Um…can I go see her now?”

“Of course. Do you want me to drive you or you’ll walk?”

Getting up, Joseph answered “No, I’ll walk. I could use the air, I think.”

Nodding himself as he stood up, his father replied “Okay. Make sure you call when you get there. When you’re ready to come home, call and I’ll get you. Or if you decide you want to sleep there, still call so I know.”

“’Kay,” he agreed as he walked to the stairs and up to his room to fix himself for a walk.

 

 

As he stood at his tétka’s porch after ringing the bell, he wished he had a dog. They would have been fantastic company for walks. Peanut wasn’t exactly the type. He had tried; he had gotten her that special harness and everything. She much preferred to sit her butt on the floor. Joseph ended up having to carry her back to the house.

That lazy bum.

He was about to ring again when the door was opened by Andrey. “Uh, hi.”

“Hey,” Andrey said quietly, letting him in and shutting the door. He stood awkwardly for a second before he surprised Joseph by yanking him into a hug. “You okay?”

Hugging back and feeling extremely grateful for the hug, Joseph mumbled “No but there’s not much to do about it.”

“Guess not.” Pulling apart, Andrey asked “Walked?”

Nodding as he looked around the house, he replied “He offered to drop me but I needed the walk. Good for thinking and stuff.” His eyes caught on his tétka carefully coming down the stairs, her belly sticking out in front of her. A sad smile birthed on her face when she saw him.

Walking over, she pulled him into yet another hug. “Hey you.”

“Hi,” he whispered, rubbing his face into her.

Kissing his hair, she revealed “Upstairs guest room.”

Nodding, he broke their hug and trudged to where his mother was. The door was ajar but he knocked before he pushed it all the way open. His mother was sitting on the bed with her legs drawn up to her chest, head resting on her knees. She didn’t even look up as he walked in, probably thinking it was his tétka.

“Hi,” he whispered, halting at the foot of the bed.

Her head quickly flew up, a smile growing on her puffy red face. “Hi!” She crawled across the bed to him and sat on the edge, dragging him into a tight embrace. “Hi,” she laughed while smothering him. She kept smoothing her hand over his hair as if she was trying to be sure he was real.

Resting his head on her shoulder, Joseph murmured “I miss you already.”

Pressing a kiss to his head, she whispered with a broken voice “Me too. Me too, baby.” She dragged him to sit beside her, breaking their hug. “How you doing?”

He shrugged a shoulder and replied “Eh, I guess. House is pretty empty without you. Really empty.”

Running her fingers through his hair, his mother said “There are lots of people here but it sure is empty without having you around.” She fell silent as she bit her nail before murmuring “And your bashtá. How…how is he doing? Is he okay?”

Joseph wondered how she could actually bring herself to ask. Of course he wasn’t okay. She had hurt him so bad, he couldn’t even walk into their room. Not only did he sleep in Joseph’s room but he had brought some clothes and his things too. He didn’t want her hurting but for God’s sake. “Do you actually care?”

She flinched before staring down into her lap. “I love him, Joseph. I’ve loved him for more than half my life. I love him to the moon and back and always will.”

“And yet you didn’t love him enough to not find some other guy to love too.”

“I don’t know what you expect me to say.” She curled her hair around her ear, “I love your bashtá and yeah, I love Johnny. Is that a problem? Yeah, I guess it is. But you can’t help who you love. It’s not that simple.”

The point of his visit was to get his fill of his mother, not to get angry. And yet here he was. “It is. You don’t see tétka going and loving some other guy over tetíncho. Because she already has someone special not to go find someone else. You don’t see tatko going and finding some woman even though you’ve done it to him twice now.”

“I could do without the hate, thanks.”

He couldn’t help but clench his fists from her. She just didn’t get anything, did she? “Mayko, for God’s sake, just stopping being stupid!” Her head flew to look at him in surprise. Standing up, he snapped “I hate to break it to you, but you’re not the victim here. You’re the reason our life is a mess because you needed to get some on the side. Maybe you should just learn to keep your fucking legs closed!”

Eyes like saucers, his mother was speechless at his words. Joseph had come here to be with her because he horribly missed her but now all he could think and feel was deep hate and anger. Maybe it was just the release of everything right now. He’d never curse or yell at her otherwise.

He loved her.

Pointing at her, he notified “You’re the reason your husband had to get drunk last night so he didn’t have to think about his whore wife. You’re the reason that he can’t even bring himself to go into his room!” Yanking down his sleeve, he showed her the fresh wounds he had added to his stock. “You’re the reason your son slices his arms just so he can feel like he has some fucking control in his shit life!”

Seeing his arm, she made to grab him to look closer but he didn’t want that. He needed to just be far away from her and everyone. Just be himself away from his stupid toxic existence. Yanking his arm out of her reach, he hissed “Don’t touch me. I came because I miss you but you piss me off acting like the world is against you. You deserve to have everyone against you. This is all your fault.”

Tears were welling in her eyes as she whispered “I know.”

“Huh, well acknowledgement is always the first step. Congratulations on reaching that point. Maybe when you actually realize how stupid you are, he’ll take you back. He doesn’t want you,” he lied. His father wanted her bad but she didn’t need to know that yet. “He doesn’t even like thinking about you from how angry and disgusted he is. So congrats on ruining your life for Johnny. I really hope he’s worth it.”

With streaming tears, she stood and tried to reach for him again but he wouldn’t let her. He couldn’t do this. “No.”

“Joseph.”

“No,” he snapped as he walked out of the room, leaving her crying in his wake.

He just couldn’t right now.

  

* * *

 

Both she and Andrey had gone silent when they started to hear yelling. She never expected that of Joseph.

And the words that came out of his mouth?

Jesus Christ. No wonder Vesela was generally a mess of nerves; she had two men yelling at her. Her child for God’s sake. Nikol just couldn’t believe it. She never expected words like those to come out of her nephew’s mouth. Not just out of his mouth but directed at his mother.

They looked to the stairs when there were angry feet coming down. Joseph’s face was filled with black anger as he yanked his shoes on. He even looked like Ivo when he was pissed. Her nephew made his way to the door to leave but fuck the world if he thought he was getting away before she talked to him.

“Joseph,” she called as she rushed to him before he bolted out the door. “Wait.”

She could see the tension in him in the way he clenched the doorknob. “What.”

“I mean, the least is a goodbye when you leave someone’s house,” she tried to laugh. His body was strung with so much strain that she was actually afraid he’d blow on her next. _Jesus, I’m afraid of my nephew…What the fuck?_ “Maybe I could convince you to have dinner with us?”

Clenching his fist even tighter on the knob, he took a few breaths before replying carefully “Sorry. Bye and no thank you.”

Crouching besides him even though he refused to look in her direction, she said quietly “You’re not gonna disappoint a pregnant lady are you? I might start bawling on you with all these hormones screwing with my feelings.”

Some of the strain in his strung body released. She could tell he was trying for a laugh to make her feel better but even Andrey sitting in the living room could hear how horribly he failed. “Yeah, don’t want that. Hormones are a bi- pain, huh?”

“That they can be,” ignoring how he almost dropped yet another swear word for his day. “Soo dinner?”

Shaking his head, he replied “I don’t want tatko to be alone.” He was quiet before adding “I completely forgot to call. Oops.”

He probably had forgotten but it sure didn’t sound like he cared. Nikol didn’t think he cared about much anymore. “No problem, I’m sure he figured that much anyways. So no dinner?”

“No but thank you. Appreciate it.” Relaxing a little more, he sighed “Can I leave now? I really…I really can’t be here right now.”

Nodding reluctantly, Nikol answered “Yeah. Be safe, okay?”

Finally turning to her, he nodded and murmured “I will. Thanks.”

Sighing as she rested her head on the door once he had gone, Nikol muttered to herself “Jesus fuck, it was like trying to talk to Ivo.”

She jumped a bit when Andrey’s voice was suddenly beside her. Baby brain really screwed with her. “So what now? I was gonna follow him but…I feel like I might get jumped or something. He’s smaller than me but anger does wonders.”

“That it does,” she sighed, needing to get off her aching feet. She’d make Yulian carry their next child if there was to be one. Jesus Christ, she ached. “Couch and get me the phone, please.”

“Sure thing,” her son replied, helping her over to a couch. “Why phone?”

“Calling Ivo. I don’t think Joseph’s headed home and he should know as much before he worries.”

Nodding, Andrey retrieved the phone for her and then headed up to either his room or to his tétka. Yes, her son could be mildly bratty and a pain but he didn’t like seeing people hurting. He enjoyed making people feel better.

Dialing Ivo’s cell as she put her feet up, she waited for him to answer. He must have been expecting Joseph because he said “Made it?”

“Made it, exploded, and left,” she answered with a sigh. This was the first time she had talked to him since Vesela showed up in tears on her doorstep. He had kept his promise; not a single mark on her. Nikol had practically strip searched her to make sure her sister wasn’t trying to cover up anything.

After their lunch months ago, she expected things to change. They had both pretty much come to the conclusion that Vesela was cheating. But nothing had happened; everything stayed the same. She didn’t know if it was because Ivo was in denial or he wanted firm proof.

The phone had been firm enough.

Ivo was silent before asking “Exploded?”

She wasn’t actually sure if she wanted to tell him. Would he get mad at Joseph? It would be right if he did because he had been horribly rude and disrespectful but she didn’t want her nephew dealing with more than he already had to. “Don’t worry about it. Anyways, he just left but honestly, I don’t think he’s headed home.”

“’Kay, thanks.” He was silent like he wanted to say something but his mouth ended up staying closed.

“Where do you think he’s headed?” Nikol asked when it was obvious that whatever Ivo wanted to say wasn’t coming out.

With a sigh, he replied “Either just walking or Emilio’s. Hopefully he won’t be long.”

She hummed to his answer. He was probably wondering why she wasn’t trying to hang up yet. “Ivo?”

“Yeah,” he murmured.

“Ivo, he’s not okay.”

Her words were met with silence. Nikol wasn’t sure if she should repeat herself or just let it go. But neither were necessary, it seemed.

“I know. Trust me…I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')


	110. Chapter 109

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> Hola, y'all
> 
> ^.^
> 
> That's all I have to say
> 
> Enjoy some abuse (okay that sounded kinda bad...)
> 
> _“I-I don’t know where this if from.”_

He tapped his fingers along Alicia’s collarbone as she lay on her back atop him. They were on his bed and he hadn’t said a word since she came besides for a hello because he wasn’t that rude. She had smiled and lay herself between his legs, resting her head on his chest, joining him in the quiet.

It was now a week since his life came to a shitty crash landing. This was the first day his father had bothered going to work saying that he couldn’t just spend his days moping around doing nothing. He still stayed with Joseph in his room and as far as he knew, his father not once had gone to his own room. Even his gun stayed here when he was home.

_Joseph glanced up from his focus on a book when his father called his name. Well, glanced down because his father now had a makeshift ‘room’ on the floor. He was struck with shock when he saw what his father was holding. If there was one thing he never ever flaunted around, it was his gun._

_“This? Is going under my pillow,” he emphasized ‘this’ by shaking his gun a little, “This? In no way, shape, form, or how ever gets touched by you. Understood?”_

_Nodding, he started “I wouldn’t-”_

_“I know you wouldn’t,” his father cut in. “But I need to say it and remind you. The gun does not get touched at all. Fuck, don’t even look at it. I’m putting trust that you won’t. Okay? I’m serious as fuck right now. This can kill you in seconds; it’s not a toy, it’s not a joke.”_

The simplest option was just to avoid his father’s side of the room entirely.

Alicia shifted a bit and finally whispered “Joseph.” Raising his head a little and flicking his gaze down to her, he waited for her to say whatever was worth breaking the stillness. Catching his gaze when she tilted her head up, she just sighed and shook her head. “Nothing.”

Plopping his head back into the pillow, Joseph muttered “I don’t want to think.”

“Then don’t.”

“My brain doesn’t magically turn off.”

She scooted up his body, flipping to her stomach. Holding his face, she kissed him soft and slow. Her idea seemed like a brilliant one right now. Breaking the kiss off, she left a hairwidth between their faces and whispered “I can help with that.”

At least an hour later and Joseph definitely couldn’t feel his mouth anymore. His dick felt like it was probably going to explode, straining in his sweats.

And yet she just kept kissing. Her mission to turn off his brain worked fantastically. The only thoughts that existed were ones of her and lust.

Sounded pretty good to him.

His eyes fluttered shut as she began kissing down his neck, stopping just above his collarbone. Latching onto a spot on his neck, she sucked and bit greedily.

He wasn’t quite sure he knew how to breathe right anymore.

When she finished with that spot, Alicia licked it soothingly and then started up again above it. By the time she was done, Joseph knew he had a line of bruises from her eager mouth.

Not that he was complaining.

Alicia kissed along his jaw and ended at his mouth, sucking his bottom lip into her amazing mouth. But as awesome as this was, there was something way more pressing on his mind right now. “Alicia.” His girlfriend hummed in response but continued her enjoyment of his mouth. “Alicia.”

Huffing with a laugh, she stopped and smiled “Yes? It better be important. I was getting a nice rhythm going.”

Giving her a crooked smile and squashing the part of him that was going to feel like a jerk later, Joseph asked “Can you maybe get a nice rhythm going…elsewhere?”

Curiosity flickered in her eyes. “Else…where…”

“Yeah,” he tried to explain what he meant with a simple grind of his hips. “Elsewhere.”

Blinking for a few, her face filled with color. “Elsewhere.”

He nodded encouragingly and gave another slight thrust. “Elsewhere.” He kissed her full of tongue and whispered after “Please.”

Biting the edge of her lip as she thought, Joseph realized that while he’d never fall in love with a girl, he was down for anything with one.

Anything at all.

Maybe it was the hormones talking?

That was cool with him.

Giving yet another thrust because she was taking way too long to think, Joseph added “It’s okay if you don’t wanna.” Her gaze flicked to his face and then down their bodies, thinking. “You obviously don’t have to.”

“I want to,” she whispered as she nodded. “I want to.”

Her hand trailed down his body and rested on his crotch. Above clothes or under them, Joseph wasn’t picky. He just really needed pressure or friction or something. When she didn’t do anything except rest her hand lightly there, he raised his hips a little in hopes of getting her moving. “Please.”

Waking up, she pressed down.

Fucking hard.

Joseph practically keened and made a noise that he didn’t even know he could.

It was definitely warranted.

And the pressure was _amazing_.

  

* * *

 

Ivo stared at the sight in front of him.

His kid was growing up way too fast for him.

Neither of them seemed to have noticed or heard him come in. They did seem pretty busy though. Guess he couldn’t exactly blame them.

Alicia was multitasking – her mouth was mauling her boyfriend’s while her hand worked him somewhere where it shouldn’t be. Joseph was definitely enjoying it; that was easily evident from his little noises and thrusts.

“I thought sex was in a few years.”

In literally seconds, Alicia separated herself and fell to the floor. It was almost comical if Ivo was feeling like it right now. He wasn’t so it wasn’t. His son sat up while running a hand through his hair, a huge smile on his face. “Oh hi.”

Ignoring the idiot in front of him, he turned to Alicia who was trying to make herself seem a little more presentable. “Someone picking you up or am I driving you? It’s too dark to walk.”

Rubbing her fingers on her incredibly swollen lips, she stretched up and looked out the window above Joseph’s bed. “I hadn’t realized it’s so late.”

“Happens when you’re a bit busy.”

Blushing, she pushed her hair behind her ear as she stood. “Um, I’ll call. If no one can come then…”

“I’ll take you.”

Nodding her thanks as she walked past him and out the room, Alicia looked about ready to die of embarrassment. Good. Ivo now turned to the boy on the bed. “You seemed to have been enjoying yourself.”

“Do you know of any boys who wouldn’t have in that situation?” He was still wearing his smile although he looked slightly distressed. Ivo knew the feeling; an unattended boner was a pain in the ass. “Can I help you?”

His eyebrows rose from the disrespect. “Excuse me?”

“You interrupted. Something important?”

He stayed silent as he heard Alicia come back up the stairs, coming up behind him seconds later. “My mom was already on her way. So any minute now.”

Nodding where he leaned against the doorframe with arms crossed, Ivo replied “Probably should make yourself presentable?” He didn’t need to look at her to know she was blushing as she went to Joseph’s bathroom and shut the door.

“You’re being rude,” Joseph noted with a raised brow.

“You and me both apparently. Which we will talk about after our guest leaves.”

His son simply shrugged and stared at Ivo as if he was waiting for something. When he realized that he wasn’t moving, Joseph gestured to his crotch. “Kinda would like to take care of something if you don’t mind.”

“Not while she’s in the room, no you aren’t.”

Rolling his eyes, Joseph muttered “You’re being ridiculous.”

Ivo was about to reply when Alicia stepped out looking much more put together than she had been earlier. She smiled to Ivo, to which he smiled back, then walked over to Joseph and kissed him. “Bye,” she whispered before placing another kiss to his mouth.

For some reason, Ivo felt like if he hadn’t been standing, Joseph wouldn’t have done it. It was like his son wanted to push the limits or something. He kissed her passionately back and gave her butt a hard squeeze.

He grabbed her fucking ass.

Alicia was redder than red when they separated as she made her way out of the room with a ‘bye.’ He called out his own farewells and waited until her heard the door close. Before he could speak, though, Joseph raised his brows and said “If you’ll go away now?”

Feeling more than slightly pissed now at the continued rudeness, Ivo snorted “Not a chance. And if you recall, we’re currently sharing rooms. So I’m actually in my room.” Joseph just rolled his eyes with a huff. “What I saw right now should not have been happening.”

“You said hands above clothes. Hands were above clothes.” He gestured to the line of hickeys on his neck. “Above the collarbone. Your rules were followed.”

“No sexual acts seems to have been skipped.”

“Hands above clothes.”

“She was giving you a handjob through your sweats. I consider that a sexual act.”

“So we found a loophole. Big whoop.”

Joseph slid off the bed and was about to go into the bathroom but Ivo sure as hell wasn’t finished with the disrespectful brat. “Not done yet. Sit.”

Another eyeroll.

And that’s when Ivo reached his limit.

He had had enough shit to last him a lifetime this week. He sure as fuck didn’t need more.

Striding over, he yanked Joseph back with a firm grasp in his hair. His son yelped and froze, hands hovering over Ivo’s. “Tatko,” he whispered with an emotion that Ivo couldn’t quite place.

Crouching to where his mouth was level to Joseph’s ear, he hissed “I get that life isn’t the best right now and I even get that you think you can get away with shit because you think you’re older and because you have a girl. News flash, brat, you don’t get to get away with being a disrespectful piece of shit.” He emphasized this with a yank of Joseph’s hair. “What did you understand?”

Lowering his hands, Joseph whispered “I don’t get away with being disrespectful. Sorry.”

“That was the shittiest apology I’ve ever heard,” Ivo snapped with another yank of hair. Joseph whimpered in pain but did nothing. “You don’t get to be a piece of shit to me, understand?”

Joseph nodded despite the grasp on his hair and tried again with his apology. “I’m really sorry for being rude and disrespectful.”

It was a decent apology that he was willing to accept. Generally, decent wasn’t good enough but he knew with the current mess they were in, everyone’s tempers and feelings were flaring up.

Obviously, his included.

“Tatko, please let go,” Joseph whispered with a crack in his voice. “Please.”

Obviously.

“So now you’re going to tell me what to do?” He asked curiously with another pull of hair. His brat shook his head quickly. Pulling again, he asked once more “You’re going to tell me what to do?”

“No! Just let go, please!” Joseph tried yanking off Ivo’s hands to which Ivo just pulled harder. Who the fuck did he think he was? There was a frustrated noise from his child and the next thing Ivo knew, he was clutching his crotch in pain.

Joseph hit him.

His piece of shit hit him.

When he stared up at Joseph, he was on the verge of tears while clutching his head where Ivo had been pulling. Straightening while ignoring his pain, Ivo hissed “You have the fucking nerve to hit me, you piece of shit?” Eyes going wide, Joseph’s breaths started to get shallow. “You hit me?”

“T-Tatko, I-I-”

“You fucking what!” Joseph flinched hard like he had been struck when Ivo raised his voice. He had never raised it on him before but like fuck if he was gonna get away with hitting him. If he had ever dared to hit his own father? Ivo wouldn’t even be fucking alive. “You have the fucking nerve to hit me, you stupid bitch! Go ahead! Do it again!”

Tears falling fast with his hands shaking, Joseph tried explaining. “I-I j-just wanted you t-to let go! I-I’m sorry, I’m sorry!”

“You’re sorry? Are you going to be your whore of a mother now and think that by saying sorry for shit that already happened, everything will be just fucking fine?” Fully crying now, Joseph just shook his head in reply.

Ivo knew that he was going to end up regretting something today. His frustration and anger were boiling harshly and while it wasn’t Joseph’s fault per say, the fucking brat had been the one to stretch whatever control he had left in him.

Stretch and snap.

Reaching over, he yanked Joseph’s hair again, even harder than before. His son screamed and cried in pain but it just passed over Ivo.

He just didn’t fucking care.

Twisting his fingers tight into the bits of hair he held, Ivo hissed “Are you going to hit me again? Tell me what I should and shouldn’t do? Go ahead; I’m giving you the fucking opportunity.”

Not moving even a centimeter, Joseph cried “I-I’m s-sorry, s-s-sorry, s-sorry…”

The tears were pissing him off, he couldn’t help it. He clenched even tighter and used Joseph’s hair as a way to slam him into the wall, only letting go at the last minute. Joseph slid down to the floor, crying and clutching his head.

“All you ever do is fucking cry,” Ivo seethed, “Cry and bitch and whine. I can’t even believe that you’re my child. I just can’t. I’m so fucking disgusted with you to the point where you can’t even fucking imagine.”

  

* * *

 

Joseph watched through his blur of tears as his father walked out of the room. He listened through his ringing ears to the sound of the connecting door slamming, followed by the sound of a car and the garage.

Somebody had a temper today.

He had been stupid enough to push those buttons.

His father hadn’t hurt him in more than year. Well, hadn’t hurt him physically. Mentally was a different story. But the point was that Joseph had gotten comfortable in the fact that he didn’t have to worry about his father blowing on him or serving some kind of punishment for something.

The man had definitely blown.

Granted, he wasn’t entirely to blame. Joseph was being a complete asshole.

But he just couldn’t help it.

Because he just didn’t care anymore.

He cared now after some extreme hair pulling and getting slammed into the wall but really, the only reason he cared was because of the abuse he suffered.

Not the damage of hurting someone.

Sniffling, he shakily got to his feet and dragged himself into his bathroom. Flicking on the light, he looked at his puffy gross-looking face with a large amount of hate.

Fuck, he hated his entire existence.

Washing his face after a few more seconds of staring, Joseph gingerly touched his scalp where his father had pulled. When he felt wetness, he drew back his fingers and looked at the speckles of blood on them. Sighing, he carefully shook out all the hairs that had come loose during his abuse and threw them in the trash.

Wasn’t like he needed them anyways.

Dampening a small towel, he pressed it on his head with a slight hiss of pain and stumbled back to his bed. Rolling on, he pressed his face into the pillow and just wished he could suffocate on it.

Being dead seemed so much more simple than living.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')


	111. Chapter 110

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> HAPPY BIRTHDAY  
> To me ^.^ lol I am now an officially fully legal adult of the US  
> So I had originally planned this mini comic about what it takes for this crazy to write a chapter but I never got a chance to do it. Bummer really, thought it'd be fun. It was gonna be like an interlude or something. Who knows, maybe I'll still do it.
> 
> There was the question of how/why Joseph got aroused from being with Alicia when she's a girl. If anyone's curious of my reasoning/decision on said subject, check out my reply to Hatty's comment on last chpt.
> 
> Anyways, enjoy today's chpt!  
> Also see you Tuesday!
> 
> _“Said he wanted to go down in history as the best older brother ever.”_

When he opened his eyes again, it was morning.

Joseph had to admit, he was shocked. When was the last time he had actually slept that much? He didn’t know but he was still a little tired so he closed his eyes once more. There was no rush since he had nothing important to do.

“The fuck, Joseph?”

He wasn’t fully awake yet and he didn’t really feel like talking to the bastard that was his father right now, so he simply ignored. The hands of said bastard were on him a second later, flipping him from his stomach to his back. “The fuck did you do?” The emotion running through those words were something that passed over his head; it was too early for analyzation.

“What?” he muttered sleepily, feeling the entire world’s worth of confusion. What did he do? His mind was still a little slow from actually pulling off all that sleep. He was a touch sluggish right now. Nothing was what he did; well, he slept which was totally awesome.

There were tentative fingers touching him and while he was curious, he was just too out of it to care. It did hurt a little but he’d had worse than prodding fingers. “The…the fuck did you…why?”

“What,” Joseph mumbled again, with a touch more curiosity sparking within him.

His father’s voice sounded worried. “How can you say ‘what?’”

Deciding that he should probably open his heavy eyes to see what the hell was up, Joseph did so with a yawn, not really expecting much. The first thing he noticed was his father’s pale face and the worry etched all over it. _Why so worried?_

The next thing he noticed was all the blood.

“Blood?” he murmured in confusion, touching his grey shirt. He sat up and looked at the sheet below him. Blood was smeared and dried within the threads. His sleeves were brown with dried blood. “What?”

“What do you mean ‘what?’” His father questioned, his voice not only having a tinge of worry but panic too.

“I…” Joseph stared down at himself in confusion. “I-I don’t know where this if from.”

“How can you not know?” There was even a hint of hysterics now. From the amount of concern his father was expressing, you could completely forget that just last night they had been fighting.

“I don’t…” Biting his lip, Joseph was starting to fill with panic.

Because he didn’t know.

Carefully, he yanked off his shirt, wondering what he’d find. The amount of blood seemed like a lot but he was feeling fine. A bit sluggish but he figured that was because he had actually slept more than a couple hours. Maybe it was actually from the blood loss.

“Jesus fuck…” his father whispered with wide eyes; the same eyes Joseph was making down at his body. You couldn’t even see the scars Diana had left on him. “Joseph, why…” He halted, lost for words.

Joseph’s entire torso was filled with cut after cut, none of them seemingly too deep. There were a lot though. His arms were the same.

Slash after slash.

When had he done this? Hadn’t he been asleep? “I don’t remember this.”

“You don’t remember?” his father laughed hysterically. “You don’t remember cutting yourself into millions of slices?”

Joseph shook his head.

Because he really didn’t. When this had happened, he had absolutely no idea.

Crouching down by the bed slowly, his father’s hands ghosted over the wounds, still trying to comprehend that these were all real. Joseph wasn’t hovering his hands but he sure as fuck was trying to understand the fact that he was actually awake.

“This is gonna sound weird but… Joseph, am I awake?”

He blinked at his father in surprise at such a question. “Yeah, yeah, you are. Uh, we are.”

Frantic eyes flicked from Joseph’s face to his body, back and forth. “What the fuck… Why’d you do this to yourself?”

“I seriously don’t remember anything. I was excited by the thought that I slept all night.”

“Obviously you weren’t!” His father exclaimed while gesturing to Joseph’s slashed torso. “This isn’t sleeping!”

Looking down at himself, Joseph carefully prodded between two cuts. It ached a little but they were closed, no fresh blood seeped through the scab. “I don’t know.”

Seemingly a little frustrated with all his other mix of emotions, his father took a deep breath and spoke once more except now his voice was steady. “Okay. Okay. No problem.” Joseph couldn’t tell if he was talking to himself or him. “No…nooo fucking problem.” His father’s gaze flicked to Joseph, “Can I clean you up?”

Glancing back down at his chest and then at his arms, Joseph nodded. He could probably use the help.

He followed his father to the bathroom and settled himself on the floor as his father copied once he had the first aid kit in hand. He started with soft administrations of just cleaning up all the dried blood. They were quiet, Joseph focused on trying to think of what the hell happened and his father on his work.

“When did you come home?” He asked. Maybe if he pieced together some sort of timeline, he could figure out what had happened.

“Maybe twelve. But I didn’t come up for another three hours maybe.”

The last time he had looked at the clock, it was barely eleven-thirty. And he had no knowledge of what had happened after that. “I was already sleeping then.”

“Sleeping,” his father snorted quietly while shaking his head.

“Supposedly, I guess,” he replied. “Did you check on me when you came up?”

A nod came in response. “I changed, washed up and shit, then sat next to you for almost an hour. Sure as fuck no blood then.”

Joseph was going to ask what he did staring at him for an hour but he had more pressing matters to think about right now. Something told him that he technically didn’t do this to himself. Well, maybe he had but not in the world of the living.

“Did it take you awhile to sleep?”

“I would’ve noticed if you got up to slice yourself open. You didn’t get up the entire time I was awake.”

Getting up wouldn’t have been necessary. For dream stuff to happen, Joseph didn’t need to move an inch. It hadn’t been a nightmare, that much had to be true. If it had been, there would have been fear and sweat and terror.

And the obvious screams. No way his father would have missed those.

Biting his lip as he thought, Joseph asked “No noises at all?”

“Nope.”

His eyes caught on the way his father’s hand shook as he cleaned the wounds across Joseph’s wrist. Realization struck him on the amount of alarm that his father was expressing. “Tatko, I wasn’t trying to kill myself.”

The hands froze only to continue their work as his father whispered “Coulda fooled me.”

“I swear. I don’t even know where all these came from. I don’t remember anything. I wasn’t trying to do suicide, I promise.”

Freezing again, his father let out a shaky breath before looking up at Joseph. “I’m sorry for last night. I was…It’s just…”

“It’s been a shitty week.”

“For the lack of a better way to say it, yeah…it’s been a load of fucking shit.” His father sighed and added “Everything was just built up and strung tight and I guess I just…snapped. I’m sorry, brat. I know I hurt you and I’m fucking sorry.”

Letting silence pass between them for a minute, Joseph finally said “Two things. First, I’m sorry for being rude.”

“It’s been a shitty week,” his father interrupted with a small smile.

“Right,” he smiled. “Also…I really wasn’t trying to kill myself. I know you think I was because of last night but, I swear to God, that’s not it. I really don’t know what happened or how it happened but you’re not at fault. So don’t blame yourself.”

“Can you blame me for thinking that way?”

“No, I totally get it which is why I am explaining it to you.” Grabbing his father’s face between his hands, Joseph repeated “It’s. Not. Your. Fault.”

“Can I have my face back?”

Letting go with a smile, Joseph replied “Yes you may.”

Shaking his head with some humor, his father finished the first arm and moved to the next. “So if this wasn’t purposeful, what the hell is it?”

“IIIII…don’t know…”

“Jesus...” his father huffed. “How can you not know, Joseph? This damage is fucking extreme. What the fuck kinda lie can we come up with if anyone sees this mess? Thank our lucky asses that it’s winter, huh?”

He couldn’t help but agree. Definitely no removal of shirt around anyone whatsoever. Especially not around Emilio or Alicia. There was nothing in the world that he could say that would convince them not to worry and tell their parents. “Sooo…what do we do?”

“We avoid people for a couple months.”

The laugh that erupted from him was something he didn’t expect. “Yeah, okay. ‘Sorry, Emilio, but you can’t come in and we can’t talk for the next few months.’”

“Hey, hey, I said a couple not a few,” his father corrected with a smile as he started on Joseph’s chest.

“Right. And how do you think that’ll work with Alicia? She’d probably be worse than Emilio.”

Nerves buzzed a little when his father didn’t continue on with the jokes. He was probably thinking about last night. “I think we should try talking again about what I saw yesterday.”

“I’m down as long as, you know, just talking.”

It was a day where his hands would freeze a lot. After a breath, his father continued his care and murmured “Just talking.”

“’Kay then.”

With a sigh, his father said “Handjobs? Those are a no. Doesn’t matter if it’s on top of your pants or not. Got it?” Joseph nodded. “Disrespect? Doesn’t happen no matter how much you’re feeling pissed. I will listen to your opinions but I will not accept rudeness. Got that one?” Another nod. “Hitting me?”

“I wanted you to let go,” Joseph interrupted with a whisper. “You wouldn’t and it hurt.”

“Hitting me,” his father repeated, “Does not ever fucking happen again. Got it? I will break every fucking bone in your hands if you ever hit me again. I’m your father, not some trash in front of you. Understood?”

Nodding hurriedly, Joseph was almost tempted to say ‘aren’t I your son? Not some trash?’ but something inside him said that’d be a horribly stupid idea. “I get it. I really do but you wouldn’t let go. I asked and asked and begged and you wouldn’t.” He couldn’t help but touch the scabbing on his scalp. “It hurt.”

A hand joined his own and carefully felt the wound. His father was working a hole in his lip before he finally whispered “Sorry.”

It was a pretty crappy apology or acceptance of why Joseph had to hit him but it would do. The apology was actually more than he was expecting anyways. “’S’okay. I’m sorry too.”

Removing his hand, his father focused back on the job before him. “So keep thinking.”

Sighing, Joseph mumbled “I don’t know…Ima need a few hours maybe. Just to try and think it through. Hopefully something will spark.”

“God fuck, I hope so.”

Once they had finished, Joseph went back to his bed, staring at the smears. "Tatko? How much blood can a person lose before they die?"

“I really don’t like that question,” his father muttered as he came over and yanked the sheets off the bed. “Not something I want to answer for a suicidal person.”

Rolling his eyes, Joseph mumbled “I told you, it wasn’t an attempt. I promise.”

His father sighed heavily and sat down on the edge of the bed. “I know, I just… Jesus, Joseph, you freaked the shit out of me. There was blood and it didn’t look like you were breathing…” He rested his elbows on his knees and placed his head in his hands. “Jesus Christ… I thought I’d lost you.”

Joseph pressed a kiss to the side of his father’s head. “Still here. Not going anywhere anytime soon. Or at least, not by my hand.” He squawked when he was yanked into a fierce hug. “Maybe I’ll die from you squeezing out all my air.”

“I love you,” his father mumbled into Joseph’s hair. “And I’m fucking sorry for yesterday.”

“You’re already forgiven,” Joseph replied. Apologies from this man were so rare, Joseph was flattered to have received one. He felt honored, really. “And I love you too.”

Kissing his hair, his father let go and stood, glancing down at the sheets. “I’ll shove those in the washer with a gallon of bleach and I’m thinking breakfast out would be good for both of us. So wash up and change.”

“Sounds good,” he nodded. “Um, are you gonna answer my question?”

“Fine,” he sighed reluctantly. “I could give you a science-y answer but honestly? I find that whether you live or die always boils down to one thing.”

“Which is?”

“How fucking lucky you are.”

 

 

They sat in the diner, each of them enjoying their breakfast. That weird sluggish feeling Joseph had been feeling had subsided and now he was almost convinced that it was originally because of the loss of blood. It’d make sense.

Getting dressed to go out had been an odd minute; he had no clue how to hide a line of hickeys. He ended up having to just going with them flaunting themselves. When they had walked into the diner, an old lady had given him a look that said she didn’t approve of his activities.

“So.”

“So,” Joseph replied after realizing that his father was talking to him.

“I think you need to break up with Alicia.”

The bite of French toast froze in his mouth. “Why?”

Taking a sip of coffee, his father said “Being completely honest with me and yourself, why do you think?”

His heart stopped beating and his blood went cold for a second before it occurred to him that his father couldn’t possibly mean that because he was gay. There was no way he knew something like that. He went for the next best answer. “Because I don’t actually love her?”

“Because you don’t love her,” his father nodded. “You’re using her and both of us know it. Probably even mayko knows it. That’s fucked up, brat.”

Sighing because he was well aware how fucked up it was, Joseph mumbled “So I have to?”

“How would you feel if you were being used?”

After a gup of milk, Joseph sighed “Really hurt… I get it, I do.”

“But?”

A tinge of heat filled his face. “I really like the, uh, physical aspect of a relationship.”

Smile growing on his face, his father snorted “Generally, everyone does. But you can’t stay with her for that reason alone. Then? You a piece of shit.”

“Yeah, I know…” He poured more syrup on his French toast. “I really tried to love her but…” _I don’t love girls. I don’t want girls._ “It didn’t work out.”

Swallowing and chugging the rest of his coffee, his breakfast companion noted “Can’t force yourself. Love is love; it just sorta happens.”

“Mayko did say that to me. But if it ‘just happens’ how can you have just fallen in love with mayko when all you did was see her smile? Makes no sense.”

“Love at first sight,” his father shrugged.

“I don’t believe in that.”

Clucking his tongue as he raised his fingers for the waitress to bring the check, his father said “To each his own. The important point here right now is just don’t rush anything. You’re only twelve-”

“Almost thirteen.”

“You have another 4ish months for that. Anyways, you have sooo much time to worry about shit like this. There’s no deadline where you have to love someone or that there’s a requirement where you have to have a girlfriend. Take your time.”

“So…how do you break up with a girl without making her cry?”

With a snort, his father took out his wallet and grabbed a few bills. “That, I have no clue. Never had the opportunity. I was only with one other girl besides for your mother. She broke my heart, not the other way around.” He slipped the money into the bill sleeve and nodded to Joseph, “Let’s go?”

He nodded and took one last sip of his milk before he stood, putting on his jacket. Hopefully his talk with Alicia would turn out alright.

The last thing that he wanted was to hurt her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')


	112. Chapter 111

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> My bro was asking about Vesela and it's nice to know someone is missing her lol. She makes an appearance on Thursday along with Johnny.  
> Johnny?  
> Yeah Johnny  
> Poor Johnny
> 
> For today, please enjoy some Joseph, Ivo, dogs, Ivet and a touch of baba. The stuff about Venc is from the Snapshot about him and Daniel. Snapshots are supplemental and while you don't have to read them to read this story, they add some nice details
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> _When you’re done, lemme know because I already told him that I’m breaking his balls today.”_

His father was about to start the car when he slammed the steering wheel and swore. Joseph stared at the man beside him and wondered what was up. “Uh…”

Shutting his eyes and leaning his head on the steering wheel, his father muttered “Tell me what day it is.”

Joseph raised a brow and thought for a second. Not being in school screwed with his schedule. “The ninth. Three days from Alicia’s birthday,” Joseph wondered if he should still get her a present even though they were breaking up, “Seventeen days ‘till Emilio’s. Why?” The best way to keep track of everything was to always do countdowns. He didn’t have to worry about birthdays in February but March included his father, Andrey, and his new cousin was due then.

It was also the month of Venc’s death anniversary.

Venc.

_Oh shit._

“We forgot Ivet’s birthday. Fuck.” He slapped a hand on his mouth when the word slipped out unbidden. Flicking a worried glance in his father’s direction, Joseph waited for the threat of punishment.

Head still resting on the wheel but now staring at Joseph, his father said “I want you to know how incredibly exhausted and done I am with everything. That is the only reason you are getting away with that right now.” Joseph nodded hurriedly. “But yeah, Ivet’s birthday. Two fucking days ago; I can’t believe we forgot.”

Venc would be pissed. It had always gone unspoken that if something ever happened, his family would fall on Joseph’s to care for. They had been doing a lot in making sure Ivet and bába were cared for and never needed anything since he had passed but forgetting Ivet’s sixteenth?

Shame on them. Didn’t matter how bad their week was going, they should have remembered.

“I feel so guilty right about now,” Joseph mumbled. “She probably wondered why no one called or went over.”

Sighing, his father started the car and began driving. “We’re probably going to get yelled at by bába right about now. Well, I’m probably going to get yelled at. Ivet will give you words and I’ll get my usual silence.” It ate at his father that Ivet wouldn’t talk to him. Drove him nearly insane.

“What do we get her? Sixteen is special.”

“I already have something for her. Venc actually got it for her the year before he…died.” That wound was still very open for his father. “So we’ll take that.”

“Oh, sounds good,” Joseph nodded as he realized what streets they were driving. “Uh…why are we going to your warehouse?”

“Because what do you get to do when you’re sixteen?”

“Duh, drive. I’m counting the years, trust me.” His eyes went wide as he flashed a look at his father. “He got her a car?”

Nodding, his father replied “He and Daniel had gone drag racing and won it. Said he wanted to save it for her.” His voice faltered as he whispered “Said he wanted to go down in history as the best older brother ever.”

“Well, he did because he was. He was amazing to everyone.” Thoughts of Venc didn’t hurt him the way they still did to his father. Joseph thought about the positive and the wonderful person Venc had always been. That was what the older boy would have wanted and Joseph wanted to keep that memory alive.

“Fucking bastard sure was,” his father sighed. “He sure was.”

Turning into the lot of the warehouse after the guards pulled the gates open, they parked and got out. The dogs came running to greet their master with eager jumps and barks. Bull was about to lick Joseph’s face off but his father grasped her collar tight. That’s when Joseph realized that someone was missing.

“Tatko, where’s Dama?” The lovable rottie was always the first to greet Joseph and the fact that she wasn’t here worried him.

“Good question…” his father trailed as he looked around the lot. “Philip!” The guard named came running over. “Dama?”

“She’s not well, my lord,” Philip sighed sadly. “The past few days she has been okay but today she didn’t even want to get out of bed. I was able to get her to drink water, though, which Boris and I took as a good sign.”

“And I was not told because…?”

Philip paled a little in the face of the disdain but he said strongly “Had she been worse tomorrow, we were going to notify you, my lord. We did not want to rest the burden on you. We thought we could handle it.”

Joseph could read the annoyance in his father’s stance but he had bigger worries than some dude named Philip getting in trouble. He had a dog to check on. He trotted off, leaving the men to themselves. “I’ll go check on her while you get the car.”

He whistled as he walked to her house, letting her know that he was coming. Her head rose from where she was lying down and gave a small noise of happiness but she didn’t get up. Reaching her, he sat beside the lovely dog and rubbed her all over. Her tail wagged in happiness but that was all she could manage. She was thinner and seemed to be having trouble breathing.

The voice behind him caused him to jump. A person would think that Joseph would be used to his father’s silent steps by now. “How’s she?”

“She doesn’t look very good,” he mumbled. All he needed was for her to die on him to make this week even better. Hell, this stupid month.

Reaching out and rubbing her head, his father talked soothingly to her in Bulgarian. He checked her teeth despite all the drool rolling down, along with her eyes and nose.

“Why’d you check her mouth?”

Continuing his soothing rubs, his father replied “She’s having trouble breathing. If her gums or tongue were bluish, then we would have needed to get her to the vet right this second.”

Putting his hand that close to her huge jaw wasn’t something he had done before but if Joseph was going to be a vet, then he better learn. Very slowly, he reached his hand out and pushed up her jowl and looked at her gums the way his father had. “Their pink. That means she’s not dying right?” He wiped the drool on his pants.

“Not exactly. Just means that oxygen is getting through her system, which is a good thing.”

“Soo, she could still die?”

His father let out a sigh that he definitely didn’t like. “I’ll have someone take her to a vet today and we’ll hope for the best.”

“We can do that,” Joseph said hopefully. “Right?” They both quickly turned to Dama when she started to cough. The poor girl rested her head tiredly on the floor. “Tatko? We can take her?”

Softly petting her thinning hair, his father murmured “Joseph, I don’t think she’s gonna make it. I’d personally prefer that you weren’t there if she doesn’t.”

“Oh…” he whispered, trying his best to not let out tears. “You should fire your guards then. They should have told you or someone so they could take her to a doctor. They don’t deserve their jobs.”

A small laugh escaped his father’s lips as he dragged Joseph into his side for a hug. Kissing his head, he replied “Think so?”

“Yes,” Joseph nodded full of surety. “Just watching her suffer. Fire them both and whoever else was working this week.”

“That’s seven people who need the money.”

“Yeah well I need Dama and she needed life so not everyone gets what they want. They can go find their money somewhere else where they don’t let my dog die.”

Another kiss was placed on his head before his father stood, reaching his hand out and dragging Joseph up. “I’ll let Asen know tonight. All seven will be cleared out, my tiny lord.”

“Good,” he nodded. Joseph ignored the slight guilt he was feeling at having seven people fired just for a dog. Maybe it wasn’t fair to them but then Dama suffering wasn’t fair either. Plus, since when was life ever fair to anyone?

They’d just have to find new jobs. Not his problem.

Glancing back down to the Rottweiler, Joseph stooped down and gave her a few more rubs. Who knew? Maybe she’d get lucky and her visit to the vet today would be successful. Maybe she’d come out okay and get back to her normal self. “If she ends up living, you can give them their jobs back. So like put them on suspension or something.”

“Thank you for the permission,” his father snorted in amusement. “Suspension generally isn’t something we do though.”

“I’m sure you can think of something,” Joseph replied as he stood after placing a kiss on Dama’s head. Turning to his father, he said “Let’s go give Ivet the best present ever.”

 

 

They parked on the street in front of Ivet's apartment building but they didn’t get out of the car. His father was busy trying to relax and prep himself for bába Mateev’s words. The old lady could be nasty.

The car was beautiful. Joseph had loved it the instant he saw it and knew exactly what he wanted for his first car. The purple color was also awesome but he’d personally like some other color. “Tatko?”

“Hmm,” his father hummed with his eyes closed and head resting on the steering wheel. _Is he really that nervous?_

“When I can drive, I want a car like this one. Except not purple and whatever is the new version.”

An eye flicked open. “You want an Evo?” Joseph nodded in his surety. He didn’t think his opinion would change in three years. This car was just too awesome. “Then done. You’re first car? An Evo.”

Joseph’s face grew with the size of his excited smile. “Totally awesome.” His gaze flicked to the looming building in front of them. “Soo…”

His father sighed and muttered “I know, I know. I’m getting out. Don’t rush me.” The door was thrown open and his father got out while nodding. Joseph was pretty sure he was psyching himself up or something. “You go knock, tell her to come downstairs. I’ll wait here.”

“’No probs, scaredy cat,” Joseph laughed as he jogged to the building door. “Prepare yourself for some bába style chewing out.”

Ivet lived on the second floor but there was no elevator, much like Emilio’s building. Luckily though, Ivet’s stairs didn’t feel as exhausting or as steep. Reaching her floor, he walked down the hall to the door and knocked, waiting patiently. It didn’t take long; bába pulled the door open only seconds later.

“Hiya, bába,” he smiled. “Can you and Ivet come downstairs, please?”

The old woman raised a brow and leaned on the door. “Your coward father too scared to come ask us himself?” she asked in Bulgarian, voice half condescending and amused.

“Come on, bába,” he laughed while switching himself to his mother tongue, “You’re naturally terrifying, you know that. You can’t blame him.”

She pursed her lips in disdain. “I hope you both know how upset she was that not a single one of you remembered. Not one simple phone call. She is not asking for much.”

His guilt from earlier returned. “I know,” Joseph sighed, “And we’re really sorry, I swear. It’s just…”

“Oh, don’t you start trying to make excuses. I expect better of you.”

Heat filled his face. “I’m not trying to make excuses, bába. We’ve…we’ve had a really bad week. Everyone. All of us. It’s been really hard.”

The pain must have come through his voice because her face softened along with her tone. “Ah, Joseph, my dear beautiful child,” she murmured, pulling him into a hug, “I’m sorry.”

“Me too,” he mumbled, “And I really am sorry that we forgot. Sixteen is important and we’re all jerks for forgetting.”

“Damn straight you guys are.” Joseph peeked around bába Mateev and looked at the angry face of Ivet, her arms crossed tight. “It hurt a lot, you know. I even cried.”

Unlatching himself from one woman, Joseph went and hugged the other tight. “Really sorry. Go ahead, you can punch me after my awesome hug.”

Ivet laughed as she returned his embrace. “Deal. I’m so gonna bruise that pretty face of yours.”

“I think you’re taking my offer a little to the extreme,” he muttered. Getting his face bruised was in the realm of definitely not cool. Separating from the violent being, Joseph asked “So can you guys come downstairs?”

Her arms crossed once more. “Is your dad there?”

“Obviously. But he wants to give you something special. He’s been taking care of it for the past two years for you.”

Curiosity crossed her face. “Is it an animal?”

Joseph shook his head. “I’m not giving you anymore hints though. But it’s extra special. Venc picked it for you and it’s been waiting especially for your sixteenth.”

The gusto of her now natural anger and annoyance faded into how Ivet used to be at this revelation. “Venc picked it?”

“Yup,” Joseph nodded with a smile. “He wanted to go down as the best bro ever when he got it. I think you’re gonna love it. I think it’s totally awesome.”

She blinked at him while biting a fingernail. “Downstairs?”

“Outside.”

Running to her room, she came back with her sweatshirt and a pair of shoes which she slipped on quickly. “Let’s go, bába.”

Smiling, bába grabbed her own sweater and slipped on some slippers that Joseph did not approve of for the current weather. “Let’s go,” she laughed in English.

  

* * *

 

Ivo kicked a pebble that was beside his foot on the sidewalk as he continued to wait for Joseph to show up. Maybe sending him into the den of two angry women was a bad idea.

Too late now.

He lifted his head to look at the door of the apartment building when he heard voices. Joseph came out with a smile and a thumbs up. He also looked to be in one piece meaning Ivet didn’t try to murder him.

Thank God for small blessings.

The girl in question showed up a second later behind his son with bába Mateev behind her. If anyone asked if he was nervous to face the cold shoulder of a teenage girl, he’d say no in a heartbeat. In reality though?

Yeah, he was fucking nervous. He hated rejection.

“Ivo,” bába said with a raised brow. The woman knew how to make someone squirm just from the looks she gave out.

She was older than his mother would be if she had lived but not by too much. For some reason though, Ivo couldn’t bring himself to see her as an aunt or something. She was always ‘bába’ no matter what. Probably because of Venc.

“Bába, how are you? Well I hope?” There was nothing he found more comforting than speaking in Bulgarian. It made him think of home.

“Not dead yet. I promised Ivet I’d keep fighting until she at least gives me a baby to spoil.”

“Not anytime soon I hope,” Joseph muttered. Ivo wasn’t sure if he meant bába dying or Ivet having a baby. Either way, he agreed.

“Joseph said you have something special for me from Venc?” Ivet cut in, hope glistening in her sparkling eyes. His heart jumped a little at actually having the right to be spoken to.

“I do. He got it a few years ago and asked me to take care of it for you until it was time to hand it over. Now it’s time to hand it.”

Her eyes flicked around, searching and waiting. It probably never occurred to her that she was standing right in front of it. “Okay?”

With a smile on his face, Ivo stepped to stand beside her and gestured to the car. “Happy sixteenth, Ivet. Many more to come, I hope.”

She blinked at him with wide eyes then turned to stare at the car then back at him. “The car?” She asked incredulously. “He got me a car?”

“All yours,” he affirmed. “Well, it will be officially yours once you have a license and I can put it in your name. For now, it’ll stay under mine and the insurance too. Don’t worry about that though. I’ll deal with it.”

Ivet turned back to stare at the Evo. “He got me a car,” she whispered. “A freakin’ car.” Turning back to look at him, she stated “I’ve no clue how to drive. Ima crash.”

“Please don’t abuse this beauty,” Joseph begged. “She’s too pretty. Be nice.”

Laughing, Ivet replied “I’m not gonna ruin _it_ , just gotta learn to drive it is all.” Looking to Ivo, she asked “You’ll teach me?”

Did she actually want him to? He could easily get her a teacher to avoid all the awkwardness between them. “Me and not an instructor? If you’d like then yes, I’d love to.”

Nodding excitedly, Ivet said “Venc said you’re the best driver he knows. I don’t need no garbage instructor when I got you.”

“If you’re sure?”

“Stop discouraging the girl,” bába snorted in her condescending Bulgarian, “Grow a goddamn pair and stop being afraid of her rejection. She is giving you a chance; goddamn it you fool, use it.”

He felt his face actually fill with the heat of his embarrassment from her words while Joseph and Ivet laughed. “Gosh tatko,” Joseph laughed, “Grow a pair for God’s sake.”

“Anywaaaysss,” he interrupted the laughter, “I’d be more than happy to teach you. Also there’s something special in the glove compartment, go check it out.”

“Yeah?” Ivet said curiously. She walked to the car and got in, stretching to open the glove box and pulling out the envelope.

“What is it?” Joseph whispered in wonder. “You didn’t mention anything.”

“I didn’t know it was there until you went up and I was going through the car.” He had been surprised by the envelope; the handwriting on the front was something he had recognized in an instant though.

“And it is?” bába inquired as they watched Ivet shakily pull out a paper from it.

“A letter from Venc.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')


	113. Chapter 112

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> Couple ppl are looking to know what was in the letter so... Snapshot? Lemme know. I wasn't originally going to say what Venc wrote; thought I'd leave that to your imaginations but if y'all want, I guess I could.
> 
> I happen to like this chpt (ok I like a lot of chpts, shoot me) An important conversation happens and then something inevitable that really everyone who knows Ivo was expecting (I have a feeling you peeps might want a Snapshot stemming from this)  
> Please enjoy! Make sure you send Johnny some flowers/chocolates/prayers when you're done
> 
> _"I’ll tell him not to murder you.”_

Sighing as he walked to his tétka’s house, Joseph prayed that this visit would go better than the last. He hadn’t spoken to his mother since that first day and he did feel guilty but he knew that if he had tried, he would have just blown on her again. It’d been two weeks without her now and he figured that he was a bit more ready to face her.

Or rather, he thought he was until he saw Johnny standing on the porch.

“The fuck are you doing here?” Joseph hissed angrily as he stood at the foot of the stairs leading up to the door.

Johnny turned and gave a small smile to Joseph. “Waiting for someone to answer the door. You?”

“Really?” He huffed while throwing his hands in the air. “Are you fucking serious?”

“Your mother asked me to. Said we needed to talk. Quite frankly, I’m as shocked as you.”

Sighing as he walked up the stairs, Joseph muttered “Do you know what happened?”

“I kind of assumed since none of my messages were answered and I haven’t seen her. Also, since we’re talking here.”

Joseph nodded as he rang the bell again and again and again. He felt like bothering someone right now and his tétka’s family would do just fine. “Johnny?”

“Yup?”

“I’m giving you warning now that I’m probably going to punch you when you’re done talking to mayko. Probably your balls.”

“Best place for a hit,” Johnny snorted as the locks were undone and Anka opened the door.

“Hey, Joseph,” she smiled then flicked a glance to Johnny. Her face visibly darkened, “And you.”

“And him,” Joseph muttered as he walked in with Johnny following. “Where’s mayko?”

He heard hurried steps on the stairs and his mother appearing at the foot of them seconds later. Her face glowed when she caught sight of him. His voice must have carried to her ears.

But she was too nervous to come to him. Probably afraid of rejection. He had no intentions to hate on her today so her worry was unwarranted but a little fear was always good. Never hurt no one.

“Hi,” she smiled bright. She was visibly thinner and looked exhausted.

Taking off his jacket, he smiled back and walked over to her. “Hi,” he murmured into her side once they were wrapped in a hug. “You’re probably gonna think ‘liar’ but I missed you.”

“Why would I think of you as a liar?”

“Because I have neither called nor shown up?”

She crouched down and kissed his nose. “Trust me, I understand more than you give me credit for. I get it, baby, I really do.”

“Good to know,” he breathed, “Good to know.” His gaze flicked over to Johnny who was standing awkwardly by the door. “So why’s he here?”

Standing with a sigh, his mother replied “Because he deserves to be spoken to in person about my decision.”

“Ah,” Joseph nodded even though he had no clue what the decision was. Hopefully it was what he wanted it to be. “Okay then. You do that. When you’re done, lemme know because I already told him that I’m breaking his balls today.”

“Ah,” his mother laughed. “Fair enough. Andrey is upstairs if you’re looking for some company ‘til then.”

Company wasn’t exactly what he wanted but he could deal. He wanted to ask his cousin a question anyways. Once he made his way upstairs and to Andrey’s door, he knocked and said “Can I open?”

“Knock yourself out.”

Opening the door, Joseph walked in and shut the door behind himself. Andrey was sitting on his bed, playing his DS. “Hey.” His cousin gave a grunt in reply, his focus on whatever he was playing. Joseph set himself on the edge of the bed and said “Andrey?”

“Yo.”

“How do you break up with a girl without making her upset? Preferably no crying.” He may have resolved to break up with Alicia but he still hadn’t done it. Joseph had been worried about ruining her birthday so he waited until after. This week was what he was thinking. Hopefully the flute he had bought her for her birthday would soothe over any hurt.

“Dumping Alicia?”

“Breaking up, not dumping. Dumping makes it sound so…harsh.”

Sighing, Andrey replied “I guess.”

“What’s up with you? You sound kinda bummed.”

Closing his game and stretching out, Andrey muttered “I don’t think the girl I like is ever going to like me back.”

Joseph shrugged. “Ivet’s just not in the headspace right now. But she’s been a bit better since her birthday. Did you get her something? A gift would be helpful.” His cousin’s eyes were huge causing Joseph to snort. “C’mon, besides for your mom, probably everyone can tell that you like her.”

Slightly blushing while rubbing his freshly buzzed hair, Andrey mumbled “You think she can tell?”

“Dunno. Like I said, her head hasn’t really been here for awhile now. But give her time; I think she’ll come around.”

“Man I hope so,” Andrey muttered while rubbing his ears. “You don’t think maybe it’s the ears? Maybe they’re deal breakers for people.”

A huge laugh burst from him. “C’mon, seriously? Your ears are not deal breakers. I know I make fun of them but I promise, they’re not that bad.”

Andrey actually looked hopeful. “Really? You think so?”

“I think so,” Joseph laughed as he laid down. “You’re a catch.”

Looking thoughtful while still rubbing his ears, Andrey said “Well, I guess you would know. I’ll trust your word.”

His entire being froze – heart, blood, brain, and finger spasms. “I-I would know?” He gave a nervous laugh, “What do you mean?”

Blinking blankly at him, Andrey replied “’Cause you like guys.”

Eyes wide and heart ready to burst out of his chest, Joseph stuttered “D-Don’t be stupid. Guys…guys don’t like guys.” Being on the verge of a heart attack was not the coolest feeling. It was pure torture.

Scooting closer, Andrey lowered his voice and murmured “Joseph, you don’t have to hide it from me. It’s okay.”

Sitting up quickly, Joseph shook his head vehemently. “I don’t know what you think but whatever it is, you’re wrong and that’s sick. I’m not like that, don’t be stupid.”

Concern covered his older cousin’s face. “Joseph, seriously, it’s okay around me. It’s totally cool. I-”

“Just shut the fuck up,” Joseph snapped. “You’re a delusional idiot. You have no idea what you think you see.”

Scratching his head, Andrey sighed and leaned back on his headboard. “I’m not telling anyone and I don’t think anyone can tell anyways if that’s what you’re worried about. I keep secrets, dude, and I’m more than happy to keep yours. I just thought that maybe it’d take some weight off your shoulders knowing that someone else knows.”

Gnawing on his lip, Joseph whispered “Let’s entertain the thought for a minute that you’re right, even though you definitely aren’t, you…you don’t think it’s wrong?”

Raising an eyebrow, Andrey replied “Do you?”

“Of course,” Joseph replied in all honesty. How many times did he wish he wasn’t like this? “It’s not just disgusting, it’s a sin. How could I possibly think it’s right?”

Some type of emotion that Joseph couldn’t name overshadowed Andrey’s face. “If we’re still entertaining the thought that I’m right, I’d tell you that you shouldn’t hate yourself like that. There’s nothing wrong with you.”

He laughed all the sick disbelief he was feeling. “If we’re still entertaining the thought, I’d tell you that you’re an idiot and I’m the most disgusting thing to exist on this stupid planet.” Andrey’s eyes flew open and he looked like he was about to protest but Joseph didn’t need to hear it. No amount of protesting was going to make him see himself any different. He wasn’t stupid. “No,” he said with a raised hand. “We’re done.”

His cousin didn’t look happy about that but Joseph didn’t care. He was seriously done with this topic. How Andrey found out his secret, Joseph didn’t know but what he did know was that he was going to have to cover his heart even more now.

Shaking his head as he let out a huge sigh, Andrey murmured “So dumping Alicia?”

 

 

Anka had eventually joined them and was sitting on the floor painting. Andrey had been annoyed with his sister because he didn’t want accidents on his carpet but she pointed out that she wasn’t the one who was covering a juice stain with a carpet.

He shut up after that.

“You guys ready for baby Timotei?” Joseph asked as he continued to wait for his mother to call him down. His tétka had found out she was having a boy last month and decided that she was going to name her boy after her father. Joseph thought that was brilliant although the name Timotei didn’t exactly fit in with Andrey, Anka, and Albena.

“I’m so sick of babies,” Andrey groaned into his pillow where he lay. “No more, I can’t take it.”

Laughing, Anka added “I love babies but I’m gonna have to agree. No more siblings after Timotei; especially if he ends up insane like Albena.”

“Oh God,” Andrey muttered in worry. “Don’t say that. Then we’re doomed.”

It was true his youngest cousin seemed to be insane but she was nothing compared to someone else.

“Maybe she’ll be like Alondra,” Joseph laughed, “Then you guys are really screwed. Mr. Vidal swears if one of his kids ever gets arrested, it’ll be her.”

“Totally agree,” Anka mused. “She’d probably assault someone or something.”

They all turned their heads when there was a knock and his tétka poked her head in. “Johnny’s all yours.”

“Nice,” Joseph said as he bounced off the bed, mindful of the paint supplies on the floor.

He followed his aunt downstairs and went to Johnny who was standing once more by the door. “Outside?” The older man asked.

“Sounds good.” Once outside and with the door shut behind them, they sat down on the stairs. “So?”

“She dumped me.”

“Ah.”

“Yeah, I wasn’t expecting sympathy,” Johnny snorted in his amused sadness. “Definitely not from you.”

“Good. That means you’re smart at least in some aspects.”

“Guess so, huh? She said the past two weeks made her realize what’s important and that’s her husband not me.”

Looking to the other man in questioning, Joseph asked “Did she make it sound that harsh?”

“No but it sure felt that way.” Johnny let out a sigh and stretched out his legs. “I get it, I swear, but it doesn’t stop me from hurting.”

Leaning back on his hands, Joseph replied “No, it wouldn’t. Hurt is hurt. Understanding will never change the pain. It just helps you see.”

“You’re too smart, kid.”

“Sadly.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Good.”

“Heard you’re like your father?”

Joseph stared at the man beside him. “So?”

“I’m terrified to run into him if he’s a grown version of you. You’re a force to be reckoned with.”

“Ah, thank you,” Joseph smiled smugly. “But if you were to ever meet him, you wouldn’t live long enough to be terrified. Or maybe he’ll come off as pleasant and then you’re like ‘Damn, I like this dude’ before he beats the shit out of you.”

“Don’t scare me with stories, Joseph. I’ll have nightmares for the next week now.”

“That’s better than actually being dead, don’t you think?”

  

* * *

 

Johnny walked into the café across the street from his work. He was still hurting like a bitch from Vesela dumping him but he understood, he really did. She had a life and well, he just wasn’t going to be a part of it.

Coming back to Hoboken had been his first mistake all those years ago. Coming back to work in Hoboken and walking into the mall on a bored impulse only to crash into the girl he had fallen for in high school. She hadn’t recognized him at first but God did he know her.

Vesela was as beautiful as ever.

And married.

With a kid.

Disappointment had hit him like nothing else. He had known that she was with that guy who came around the school sometimes but Johnny had placed his future in hope that they wouldn’t last. But they had and even had a child together.

He and Vesela had exchanged numbers regardless and he noticed that whenever he flirted, she’d give it back twice as hard. Hope had reignited within him and he decided to play it all out.

Years later, here they were. Johnny had thought he’d be able to convince her to leave Ivo but it hadn’t worked. He would have gladly taken in Joseph and everything.

But no luck.

Sighing as he waited in line to order a coffee with extra shots of espresso because fuck this headache, he turned his gaze to the door when the bell chimed and two men walked in speaking in a language he didn’t know. Nothing new; there were many immigrants in the city.

Turning his focus back on taking his turn once it came, he ordered then went and sat at one of the small tables in the corner. The foreign man with the darker hair sat in a table against the wall near him, using his phone as the blonde ordered. Once he had, he joined the other man at the table.

For some reason, Johnny felt like he had seen the blonde before. But where? He racked his brain as he sat waiting for his order. What were the chances that the man maybe lived in Jersey City like him? Commute for work maybe?

Jersey City.

Joseph.

_Fuck._

That man had been the one who had interrupted them.

But who was he? Johnny had no clue but if he knew Joseph and had seen Johnny that day, maybe the blonde knew who he was. The other man with the black hair glanced around for a minute, taking in the café as their conversation fell silent. Their eyes locked and Johnny’s heart sped up when he realized who he was staring at.

Joseph definitely was his father’s son.

Also there was the fact that the bastard still looked really good. Like he hadn’t aged much. Johnny hadn’t seen him in twenty years and hadn’t really spoken to him much before anyways but he could tell who he was.

The man who must be Ivo blinked at Johnny for a few and when he cocked his head in thought, Johnny wondered if he should just skip the coffee and book it out of here. They stared long enough where the blonde got curious enough to turn around and see who or what Ivo was staring at.

Now he had two men looking at him and he was nervous because recognition flashed briefly in the blonde’s face.

Something told him he might actually take a hit today. Joseph had been kind enough to just let him go with balls intact.

He didn’t think Ivo would have the same mindset.

“Johnny!” The barista called with his order. He could feel himself visibly cringing as his identity was made explicitly known.

Oh yeah, he was fucked today.

Standing nervously with Ivo’s stare still hot on his back, Johnny made his way to the counter and got his coffee with a thank you. Breathing carefully, he made his way to the door, doing his utmost best to ignore the horribly heavy stare as he walked out.

Thinking he had made it free when no one followed him out, he froze when a voice called out his name. How had he not heard the door or footsteps? Steadying himself, he turned slowly and came face to face with Ivo.

And dear God was he terrified.

He knew what type of ‘business’ Ivo was in.

The other man smiled to him. “Hello.”

Remaining calm seemed to be a good game plan, so Johnny went with it. “Hi.”

“You know, I think we’ve met before. Many years ago if I recall.”

Nodding carefully because he had no clue why the other man just didn’t break his face already, Johnny replied “We did. A couple times. Softball games, few times during lunch hour when you’d stop by.” That always pissed him off; seeing the girl of his dreams laughing for some strange guy.

“Ah, so you know who I am?” Ivo probably thought Johnny wouldn’t remember him. To be honest, he wouldn’t have if he hadn’t just been sitting with Joseph.

“Joseph is your mini me.”

A brow raised as Ivo replied “That’s right, he mentioned something about Jersey City. I kinda regret not asking now.” He shrugged with another smile and added “Oh well. Makes no difference really.”

“I suppose not,” he sighed as he waited for punishment to come. “Before you horribly beat the shit out of me, I just wanna say that she dumped my ass. Also I’d like to put my coffee somewhere because I asked for extra shots and that shit is expensive.”

Ivo clucked his tongue. “You know? I think if you hadn’t been fucking my wife, I might actually like you. Such a shame.” He gestured out to the floor. “Go ahead and save the coffee. Even if it wasn’t expensive, no coffee should ever be wasted. It’s such a gift.”

_Fuck, why did Joseph have to be right?_

Now that they were talking, Johnny realized that yeah, he might actually like the guy. Him and his friends were all about the sarcastic banter and Ivo would’ve fit right in. Fuck.

Walking a little ways off, he placed his cup atop someone’s car. Resigned to his inevitable fate, Johnny let out one last sigh because it would probably be the only one that wouldn’t be painful for the next few weeks. “It really is. Keeps people going.”

“Agreed,” Ivo laughed as he was suddenly behind Johnny. “I hope you have good health insurance by the way. This is gonna hurt.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')


	114. Chapter 113

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> Emilio hums when he's happy. Did you know this?
> 
> See y'all Tuesday ^.^  
> P.S. You're probably going to be as unsatisfied/confused as Joseph on what the hell happened to him. No one ever said a magical forest was good at explaining itself  
> P.P.S Go read about Johnny getting the shit beaten out of him. Fighting is still something I need to get better at writing (this is actually a very one sided fight but whatever) but I hope you guys like
> 
> _"I can’t do this anymore. I can’t live like this.”_

“I knew this was coming,” she whispered while staring down at her hands in her lap. “I even tried like preparing myself and stuff.” She let out a small sniffle and now Joseph was feeling even worse. “I knew it and it still hurts like crazy.”

“I’m really really sorry,” Joseph murmured, “It’s just…” He fell silent trying to think of a way to put what he wanted to say into words that didn’t sound so harsh. Covering his face when he realized that there was no easy way to do this, he muttered into his hands “I’m so bad at this.”

They were sitting on the steps to her building. Joseph had finally worked up his nerve to break up with her.

About a month later but that was besides the point.

He had wanted to wait until after Emilio’s birthday, so he did. But then Valentine’s had been coming and he felt guilty if he broke up with her then, so he waited even longer. Now it was almost March and he knew that if he didn’t do it right this second, he’d keep finding excuses to push it back.

“It’s okay,” Alicia sighed with all her sadness, “It’s okay.”

“You said you knew?” Was he really that obvious with his feelings? Joseph kind of always figured that hiding his emotions was something he had down to a tee.

“Yeah,” she murmured as she stared out at the street. “Past few months haven’t exactly been your best. Even before…you know…your parents. You were always a little off around me. I figured if I kissed you enough it’d be like before but it didn’t seem to work.”

Now he was feeling extremely guilty. “If I keep saying sorry will it actually make a difference? I’m sorry for breaking up with you. I’m sorry for hurting you and I’m sorry for being a crappy boyfriend.”

She turned and looked at him in surprise. “Nah, Joseph, you were a totally awesome boyfriend. Like seriously, whoever gets your heart next will be the luckiest ever.”

“You think so?” He couldn’t help but think it was interesting how she said ‘whoever’ and not ‘the next girl’ or something like that.

“Definitely,” she smiled although it didn’t quite reach her eyes.

“So, um, we still get to be friends, right? Like…we’re okay? Things aren’t gonna get all weird are they?” That’s the last thing he wanted; she was such a fantastic person. He didn’t think he’d like it if things got awkward between them.

Yanking him into a hug, she replied “Still friends!”

“Good,” he laughed. “Also, I, uh, haven’t hurt you too bad, right? Emilio threatened me sooo…”

Alicia burst out into laughter. “We’re good, Joseph. I’ll tell him not to murder you.”

“Good. Very good.”

Eventually, they had made their way back upstairs into the apartment. Alicia had gone to her room and Joseph joined Emilio and abuela in theirs. Emilio knew why Joseph had originally come but mentioned nothing about it; no questions or anything. He simply asked if Joseph wanted to play Monopoly and hummed as he set it up.

He couldn’t help but wonder why Emilio was humming.

“Cómo estás tu madre?” Abuela asked from where she sat on her bed finishing a hat she had promised Linda. She seemed intent on making Joseph fluent in Spanish; she claimed it was good for him.

So she always tested him.

Shrugging, Joseph replied as he rolled the dice to take his turn “Eh.”

“Eh? No es una repuesta.”

He knew it wasn’t an answer but it was what he had. Trying again, Joseph added “She’s okay, I guess. I visited a couple days ago and she seemed alright.” They were better but he still was afraid of himself. What if he exploded again? He was trying to avoid that. “She’s not as thin which I take as a good thing. She smiles more too.”

Abuela hummed as Emilio took his turn, rolling the dice and not only getting a double but reaching the last property he needed for a monopoly. His friend let out a noise of triumph with a smile as abuela asked “And your father?”

Joseph gave another shrug. “We still share a room, he drinks a few days a week, and he doesn’t talk much. I’d call that not good.” The drinking worried him; his father hated alcohol and yet he made sure to get his glasses in every couple days. It was a new habit and Joseph did not approve.

“I thought you said he was gonna go back to his room last week?” Emilio asked in concern, pausing his buying of houses.

“That’s what he said but then he never did it. I didn’t wanna mention it though; I’m worried he’ll think I’m trying to kick him out or something.”

Sharing a room had become complicated nowadays. He had woken up the other day with an unbidden dream object in his hand and had to stow it away before his father wondered where in the world a watch with a stun gun came from. Reading Case Closed before bed had been a bad idea.

After he had awoken with all the cuts on his body, Joseph had been nervous to go back into his forest. He didn’t bother trying to get there but after a few weeks, the forest must have got annoyed or something because it dragged him in whether he liked it or not.

_Nerves buzzing as he shakily stood, Joseph prayed and prayed and prayed that there would be no pain occurring today. He glanced around the silent forest, not even a breeze coming through._

_“Hi, Joseph.”_

_Nearly jumping out of his skin as he yelped from his surprise, Joseph turned and came face to face with Diana. “Maybe make some noise or something?”_

_Cocking her head to the side, she asked “Why haven’t you been visiting? We missed you.” Her hair was to her shoulders now; was that because she wanted it that way or was there some part of his subconscious that said she needed short hair?_

_“I didn’t appreciate all the tangles,” Diana smiled, “I’ve found short to be easier.”_

_“Makes sense,” he replied nervously._

_“So?”_

_“Uh…so…”_

_“Why haven’t you been visiting? We missed you.” The dragon girl actually looked slightly hurt. But who was ‘we’?_

_Biting his lip, Joseph whispered “I was afraid. I was really hurt last time and I didn’t want that to happen again.”_

_Taken aback with utter shock, Diana said “You weren’t hurt.”_

_He didn’t think he had been sleep walking. “Yes I was. I was all cut up when I woke up weeks ago.”_

_“But you wanted that.”_

_Blinking blankly, Joseph contemplated this. It didn’t make any sense to him though. “Why would I want it?”_

_“Why are you being silly,” Diana snorted in contempt. “You fell asleep wishing you were dead. We gave you exactly what you wanted. Well, we were going to but we sensed that maybe you didn’t want it entirely so we gave you the next best thing. You asked, we gave. You should be thankful.”_

_Had he? It had been after the fight with his father and he had been upset but wishing to be dead wasn’t something he remembered. “So if I want something…you guys give it to me?”_

_“If we like you and think you deserve it. If you think you deserve it.”_

_“Huh?” This got more confusing by the second._

_Shrugging, Diana replied “Joseph, we are merely you.”_

What that meant, to this day Joseph had no idea. He had tried deciphering it, looking at it every which way but nothing made sense. Something told him it really never would.

“And you’re doing well, nieto?” Joseph loved how abuela just accepted him like one of her grandkids. It was nice having a grandma. Obviously there was bába but having abuela was totally awesome. _She_ was totally awesome.

“Not bad, I suppose. I kinda wish tatko would hurry up and take her back but he hasn’t even mentioned doing that in weeks. Kinda worries me. What if he changed his mind?”

“Aye, Joseph, he loves her too much to not want her back. He just needs time; the pain from infidelity is a powerful one.”

“Such a bitch,” Maria muttered, catching the words as she passed the room.

“Told you he was never good enough for you!” Emilio called after her. “I sense these things!” Turning to Joseph, Emilio narrowed his eyes and asked “You didn’t dump Alicia for some other girl, did you? Then I’m really gonna beat you up.”

Snorting from his laughter, Joseph replied “No, you idiot. We just both felt it wasn’t working. No other person in my sights for the time being.” _Except for you._

Eyes still narrowed, Emilio leaned closer then leaned back when a smile broke through and he started laughing. “Okay, just checking. I offered to Maria to beat up her ex but she said no. Said that I’d probably lose but she appreciates the gesture.”

“Huh, maybe we should take him together. Better chances that way.”

There was a scream and all three of the occupants of the room waited for patiently for the screamer to show up in the doorway. Seconds later, Alondra came barging in, face red and fists clenched by her sides. “Emilio!”

Her brother laughed in the face of her anger. “Why you always yelling, girl? Take a chill pill, sheesh.”

Huffing, she ran in and tackled Emilio to the floor, sitting herself on his chest. “Linda! She took my-my pulsera!”

Still laughing, Emilio replied “And why are you yelling at me? I didn’t do it.”

“Cuz she be savage,” Joseph snorted only to realize his mistake a second later when Alondra took him to the floor. His head hurt a little from how hard she shoved him down onto the floor. Maybe they should send an apology note to the downstairs neighbors later.

“I’m NICE.”

“Dios mío, Alondra,” abuela laughed while shaking her head. “Nice people do not tackle the other to the floor. Get off poor Joseph.”

He could just shove her off but that opened the door for wrestling with the preschooler. She always cheated by biting.

Sighing, Alondra leaned down and gave him a really gross slobbery kiss. “Sorry. Now help me.”

The slobber was just plain gross but he couldn’t wipe it off in front of her – she’d be so offended. “You could have just said that from the beginning instead of getting all violent on us. Jesus.”

“You’re not supposed to say that,” Alondra noted as she rolled off him to the floor. “That’s not a good word unless you’re actually talking about God. And you’re not.”

“She got you,” Emilio snorted as he sat up. “For shame on your language, Joseph, for shame.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he muttered because to him it just didn’t matter anymore. He’s said far worse than Jesus. All he had to do was be careful in front of whom he was speaking. “We should go get the bracelet back so we can finish our game before I gotta go.”

 

  

* * *

 

“…because you’re an idiot?” Raul supplied helpfully while laughing at Savelio as they walked back into the precinct. “That’s the only thing that would make sense.”

His partner shoved him nearly into a wall in not entirely good humor. “You’re an ass, I hope you know.”

“I’ve been told a few times, yes,” he continued laughing. Actually _many times_ but whatever. “But I’m not the wor- what the hell?” He halted in his tracks near his desk and stared at the man sitting in his chair, typing on his phone. “Ivo?”

The man’s head raised at his name and he smiled. “Oh hi.”

“Oh hi?” Savelio snorted as she took her seat in her desk across from Raul’s. “How’d you even get in here?”

Ivo blinked at her. “There’s this thing called a door. It is typically on a pair of hinges and it opens in a certain direction although there are some that go in both directions. I happened to have used the front door in case you were curious.”

Leaning on his desk because Ivo didn’t seem like he was getting up, Raul pointed out “They check I.D. at the front.”

Shrugging without a care, Ivo replied “And I showed mine. I haven’t got a warrant to my name, detective. I am simply a citizen of this country according to my file. There is nothing in it that they can legally stop me with.”

It was true; no one had ever been able to pin anything on Ivo. Not even Raul, no matter how hard he tried to get him for the murder of Dr. Castillo. The case had gone cold with only dead ends in every direction. Ivo’s file listed a whole ton of ‘allegedlys’ and ‘possible person of interest’ but nothing had ever stuck. It drove gang unit insane when they knew for sure that Ivo was the head of the notorious Bulgarian mob but they couldn’t do a thing about it.

“What do I owe your lovely presence with? It better be good.”

Leaning and relaxing into the chair, Ivo said “Me and you? We’re going dog shopping today.”

Sighing while rubbing the bridge of his nose and closing his eyes, Raul muttered “You came here, into a police precinct, to tell me that we’re going to look at dogs.”

“Yup. I was gonna call but then I was in the neighborhood and I’m like ‘fuck it, I always wanted to see what he decorates his desk with.’ I approve by the way,” Ivo pointed at the various pictures on Raul’s desk, two of which included Joseph. Holding up one of the ones including his son, Ivo said “I don’t have this one so I’m stealing it.”

Grabbing the picture from Emilio’s thirteenth birthday, Raul put it back on his desk. “I like that one, you can’t have it. I like all of them so you can’t have any. No touching.”

“Also, you shouldn’t voice your intent to steal in a place full of police,” Savelio snorted while filling out some of her paperwork. Maybe he could convince her to do his too. “Stupid way to get arrested.”

“You’re always full of such wisdom, dear detective,” Ivo laughed. He nudged Raul with his foot which wore a very expensive looking shoe. Ivo had bought Raul the most beautiful pair of Testoni’s for his birthday last year. He loved ankle boots and dammit, they were too nice to refuse despite that they were so expensive. They were hidden in the back of his closet; he was a little afraid Claudia would ask him what the hell he needed with two thousand dollar boots. “Dogs. When do you finish?”

Fully sitting on his desk now, Raul sighed “Why are we going to see dogs? Ready to replace Dama?” The poor dog had died a couple weeks ago to sickness. It was a shame; she was Raul’s favorite next to Doug.

Running a hand through his hair, the other man said “It’s not replacing; she’s irreplaceable.”

“Break into Beyoncé right now,” Savelio murmured after a sip of coffee.

“The whole point of the song was to point out that the asshole is replaceable. That’s different than what I said,” Ivo corrected with a roll of his eyes.

“You’re a Beyoncé person?” Savelio laughed, “Never woulda guessed.”

“I’m a well-rounded person. I listen to a lot of things although Beyoncé is not someone I really enjoy that much. Woman thinks too much of herself like Mariah Carey.”

“Don’t let Beyoncé fans hear you, they get nasty sometimes,” Raul laughed. “We had a case once of someone murdering their neighbor because they hated on Beyoncé multiple times and they couldn’t take it anymore.”

Ivo’s eyes turned round. “You serious? The fuck people…” Shaking his head, he said “Anyways, not replacing, just finding a new family member. Maybe two, we’ll see when we get there.”

“Don’t you think Joseph should go? Dama’s death hit him the hardest out of anyone.”

“I’m thinking a surprise is a good idea? That’s why I’m thinking two – one for the warehouse and one for the house. Joseph walks a lot so maybe he’d like a friend or something?”

Nodding, Raul said “Actually yeah, good idea. That’d be good.” The child definitely needed a mood brightener or something; he was too…bitter. Too much like Ivo and yet he was just a child.

Looking happy at the approval, Ivo replied “I know, I’m a genius.” Savelio snorted from where she sat. “Love you too, detective.”

“My, my! My eyes must be deceiving me!”

Raul inwardly groaned as Detective Finn O’Brien came over to them. Not only was the man a pain in the ass to everyone – especially Raul – he was head of the team that specifically focused on one particular major group in Hoboken.

The Bulgarians.

‘Lord Kavinsky’ emerged in Ivo in seconds when he noticed who was talking to them. Gone was the easy-going man who had just been talking about Beyoncé. “My,” he drawled, “Detective O’Brien. Why hello.”

The Irishman smirked as he stood beside Raul, blue eyes sparkling with contempt. “Lord Kavinsky. I have to say, I’m quite surprised to see you willingly sitting in a precinct. My precinct to be exact.” He flicked glances to Raul and Savelio who had stood. “I should have been told that the Lord was in the building.”

Both he and O’Brien had the same amount of years under their belts and yet the other man always seemed to think he was superior. He came from an entire family of law enforcement and always looked down on Raul because of his past. “I don’t see why.”

“Maybe I.A. needs to take another look into you, eh Vidal?”

He could feel the anger boil in his veins. When Internal Affairs had caught wind that Raul was friends with one of the hugest criminals, they had investigated him for months.

Saying it was unpleasant would be the hugest understatement of the century.

“Oh Detective,” Ivo interrupted in his accented condensing voice filled with disgust, “Don’t piss me off with your stupidity. I could buy you before I could ever buy him. Everyone has a price and yet I can’t seem to find his. Yours I already know.”

Curiosity sparked in him and he could tell from Savelio’s face that she was also wondering. O’Brien looked pissed as he hissed “I have no price.”

“You tell yourself that,” Ivo smiled. Shooing him away with his hand, he added “Go on and be an idiot elsewhere, if you will. Just your ugly mug pisses me off.” Clenching a fist, O’Brien gave all three of them nasty hate filled glances and stalked off. It was over for now but Raul knew he and his partner would be catching heat later from some people. Once he had disappeared, Ivo asked curiously “Why was I.A. looking into you?”

“Because of your handsome face,” he snorted in reply. “But that was years ago. They’ve left me alone for now.”

“Huh,” Ivo murmured, “My bad, I guess.”

“Thanks. So dogs?”

“Yes!” Ivo exclaimed as he stood, looking excited. Raul wondered if maybe the man had different personalities or something. “Dogs. I like dogs. Let’s go?”

“Still working, mobster,” Raul pointed out as he pushed Ivo away from his chair and sat down. God, did his feet hurt. Maybe he should wear those boots instead of being afraid of ruining them. “But after, yeah, dogs. Go entertain yourself until like nine and come back.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')


	115. Chapter 114

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> I totally forgot to put a mini Spanish dict in on Sunday. Hopefully the Spanish wasn't trouble for anyone? Or too much trouble? My bad dudes. Spanish is super commonplace where I live in California so it's typical for me. I forgot that it isn't for everyone
> 
> So ultimately I decided that I'm not gonna write Venc's letter. I thought about it a lot and realized that I want your guy's imagination to fill it in. More powerful that way I think (maybe that's just me). Just imagine all the things that an older bro would say to his sister that he practically raised and then some. Heart wrenching, humorous, and full of affection. All done in Venc style.
> 
> Enjoy today my bruhs
> 
> _“I found them on my door about ten minutes ago. No time for a warning.”_

The bell rang but she paid it no heed; it wasn’t her house so whoever was visiting wasn’t her problem unless it was Joseph. Sighing, Vesela laid down on ‘her’ bed and closed her eyes.

Contemplating the fuckup she had made of her life.

Two months. Two long fucking months she had neither seen nor heard from Ivo and it was driving her insane. She had been so sure that he’d take her back and yet nothing.

Fucking nothing.

But then, there were no divorce papers yet either. That had to count for something, didn’t it? It meant that their marriage still had a chance. A chance she had no intentions of ruining.

If only he’d just give her that chance already.

She asked Joseph about him whenever she was privileged enough to earn his visits – luckily, much more frequently now – but he’d always change the subject. Not even a hint would he give her on how Ivo was doing. Hell, she barely was able to get out of him how he himself was doing. He’d talk about everything except himself and his father.

Vesela worried for him – what he was going through wasn’t easy. But he didn’t seem to be losing any weight so he must be eating. She was usually able to tell when he hit a low because he’d stop eating. His voice was pretty chipper the past few days too.

_“Hiya, mayko,” he smiled as he walked into the room, quietly shutting the door behind himself. “How are you?”_

_“Not too shabby I suppose,” she smiled in response as he got onto the bed and curled into her side. She couldn’t believe that he was actually getting a little big for them to sit like this anymore._

_He was growing up._

_“You seem happy today?” The glow in his eyes hadn’t faded yet. Usually, he’d brighten on first seeing her but the light didn’t generally last._

_Smiling, Joseph replied “Well, I did make the baseball team again.”_

_“That’s great!” Vesela exclaimed. Baseball also seemed to be something that kept Joseph going. If they kept him in it, Vesela felt like he’d hit less low points by having something driving him._

_“Oh, oh, we got a new dog who’s gonna take Dama’s place. Tatko’s been looking the past two weeks and he got her a couple days ago. She’s a German Shepherd. I named her Lyubov ‘cuz she’s super sweet. She’s still a puppy, obviously, because tatko’s gotta train her and stuff but she gets along really good with everyone else.”_

_It had surprised her when she actually was sad that Dama had passed. She loved dogs but Ivo’s? God, did she hate them. They scared the shit out of her. Too much news had crossed her path where someone got mauled, especially by pit bulls. Whenever Joseph went, she couldn’t help but panic a little. But the dogs seemed to love him and Ivo was always with him and she knew he’d never let one of the dogs hurt Joseph._

_“That name is adorable.” Vesela wondered if the dog was actually suited to being called Love because her job was technically to maul people. “She a faster learner, you think?”_

_“So far so good,” he nodded. “She picks up commands and the language fast.”_

_“That’s good,” Vesela nodded while making herself more comfortable beside him. “Anymore news for me? How’s Peanut doing?”_

_If there was one thing besides cars and random animals Joseph loved talking about, it was Peanut. “Fantastic! She had a vet visit a couple days ago and the vet let me do the checkup with her which was really cool. All nice and healthy!”_

_That was a relief. Every single person would be upset if something happened to the wonderful legume._

_“Oh and,” Joseph suddenly exclaimed, “She’s a foster mom.”_

_“What?” She laughed, “Did she take in some lost kitten?”_

_Shaking his head with a small laugh of his own, Joseph replied “No. When tatko went and picked out Lyubov, he got another puppy too. He’s this really funky basset hound mix but, mayko, he’s sooo cute. Probably because he’s funky. Tatko said he wanted to pick me a dog of my own and one of the guys he visted was telling him how nobody would pick this puppy because he has terminal cancer but because he wasn’t suffering yet, they didn’t want to put him down.”_

_Was giving a depressed child a dying dog a good idea? She had no clue but it was too late to question that choice anyways. “So your bashtá took him?”_

_“Yup,” he nodded with a smile, “We’re gonna give him an awesome life until, you know, it’s his time. I’ll be sad when he dies but at least I’ll know I gave him a happy last year. Peanut loves him lots. She’s always licking and purring for him.”_

_A dog in her house was something she wasn’t too excited about but maybe fostering one was a good idea. It seemed to have Joseph in a brighter mood. “What’s this funky pup’s name?”_

_Another beautiful laugh erupted from Joseph. “Waddle.”_

_Snorting on her laughs, Vesela said “You named the poor thing Waddle?”_

_“What? He waddles. You should see the poor guy trying to use the stairs.”_

“Come in,” she sighed to whoever knocked, not bothering to open her eyes. It was either Nikol or Andrey. Anka knew how to hold grudges like her father; she was him in more than just looks.

Whoever it was was silent as their feet quietly walked on the carpet until they stopped beside her. She could practically feel them looming over her. She was about to open her eyes to see who her loomer was when Vesela froze from the press of a kiss on her lips.

God did she know this mouth.

Her eyes flew open and she quickly sat up when the mouth moved away and found herself staring at the man she loved more than the entire world. “Ivo.”

He cocked his head and stared at her for a minute before sitting on the edge of the bed beside her. “Vesela.” His hair was a mess and he was in a raggedy shirt and pair of jeans. Either he just came from working on his cars or he was going now.

There were a thousand things she wanted to say, had been wanting to say for the past months and yet they were all stuck in her throat. Nothing important would manage itself from her mouth. “How are you?” She whispered. Joseph had told her a thousand times over that it was a stupid question to ask – she should know how horrible she made her husband feel.

Letting out a deep breath and staring down at the floor, he muttered “Decent.”

Was she supposed to talk or drag out every word? Why’d he come if he wouldn’t talk? “Ivo.”

“Vesela,” he whispered. Biting his lip and fiddling with his fingers, he asked “How are you? Okay?”

“Decent,” she smiled nervously. Either she was about to get dumped or he was taking her back. Obviously, she was praying for the latter. “Heard about the new dogs.” Ivo nodded but said nothing. “And the baseball team. All good news.”

“Heard you dumped your football player.”

Straight to business then. “That was a month and a half ago but yeah, I did.” Did he know from Joseph? Or maybe Yulian? Even from Nikol was possible.

“I know it was. He told me so.”

Blinking at Ivo in surprise, Vesela asked “He told you? You mean like Johnny told you?” She was a little worried now that the man could quite possibly be dead.

Finally looking at her but with not a single emotion showing on his face, Ivo replied “Yes. About a minute before he suffered a beating that kept him in the ICU for two weeks.”

Alive then. That was good. “Oh.”

“No opinion on that?”

Yes but she wasn’t sure what kind of opinion Ivo would approve of. Was this some sort of test? Failing was the last thing she wanted to happen. “Hope he has good health insurance.”

Nodding slowly, he blinked at her in silence for a moment before saying “Now what’s your real opinion?”

“Hope he gets better,” Vesela mumbled meekly. “Nothing more.”

Sighing and staring at his hands in his lap, Ivo murmured “Vesela, I can’t go through this again. I really can’t. I think I’ve drank more alcohol the past two months than I have in years. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t live like this.”

This was it. He didn’t want her anymore. He was dumping her and she deserved it. She deserved it because she was such a stupid idiot. Tears welled in her eyes at her realization; there was no life without him in it. He’d been in it so long, she wouldn’t know how to handle it without him. “Ivo-”

“Lemme finish,” he interrupted.

No way in hell. Dropping to the floor on her knees in front of him, she begged with her tears streaming “Ivo, please, please, please, no. I’m sorry, I’m sooo fucking sorry.” Grasping his leg, she rested her head on his knee and cried “Please don’t leave me. I’m s-sorry. I-I swear, I swear, I swear never again. I’ll swear on a fucking Bible or something. You can check my phone, my things, I don’t care, just please don’t leave me. Please…”

He was stiff and wasn’t moving and that worried her. What if her pleas weren’t good enough? What would be? What could she possibly say that would change his mind? That _could_ change his mind? “Please no…” she whispered, her eyes shut tight and tears still streaming. “Please.”

Arms pulled her between his legs, flush against his chest. The same arms wrapped around her, squeezing her tight and he rested his forehead on hers, their noses touching and less than an inch between their mouths. “Vesela,” he whispered, “Vesela, all I was going to say was please don’t do it to me again.”

Eyes wide and lost in the dark abyss of her husband’s, she whispered incredulously “What?”

Wiping away her tears with his thumb, Ivo replied “I came to bring my beautiful wife home if she’d do me the honor.” His hand disappeared only to return a second later holding something up.

Her ring.

“Will you?”

“Y-You really still want me?” Her heart was beating furiously with fear that this was all just some cruel way for him to give her hope only to dump her later. He’d totally do that.

Closing his eyes and pecking a soft kiss on her lips, he murmured “I don’t have a life without you in it.”

Happy tears now brimmed from her eyes and she laughed while nodding her head against his. “I’ll do you that honor.”

  

* * *

 

Joseph, Peanut, and Waddle paced back and forth in waiting.

_He watched as his father hung his clothes back into his closet while Joseph shoved others back into his drawers. Messy but whatever. “So this is it?”_

_Letting out a little ‘pep huff’, his father turned and nodded to Joseph. “This is it.”_

_Nodding himself while trying to make a pair of sweats fit into a drawer, Joseph asked “Are you sure you’re ready?”_

_“I think so. Lot of thinking and talking the past two months. I think that yeah, I’m ready.”_

_“You forgot the ‘lot of drinking’ part.” Joseph noticed that for the past week though, his father hadn’t touched any alcohol. Maybe he really was ready. Joseph knew that he definitely was._

_“That too,” his father snorted as he grabbed the sweats from Joseph, folded them correctly, and easily placed them into the drawer. “Are you ready?”_

_“Been ready for awhile now.”_

_And he had. Joseph was no longer worried about exploding on his mother; he’d visit almost everyday and he had even slept over a few days ago. He was ready to have his mother home again._

_“Good, good,” his father said quietly while nodding and glancing around the room. “You think I should dust or something? It’s like a museum in here.”_

_Running a finger on the dresser, Joseph couldn’t help but agree when his finger came up dust covered. “I’ll dust and you go get her.”_

_“Faster that way, huh?”_

_“Yup, get moving.”_

From how long it was taking, something told Joseph that his father hadn’t gone straight to his tétka’s to get his mother. He had been wearing the clothes he generally fixed cars in so maybe he stopped there first.

Get his nerves set maybe.

The three of them froze when the noise of the garage door opening sounded. Body buzzing, Joseph waited for the woman who hadn’t set foot here in months to enter.

She came in with a huge smile that Joseph couldn’t help but smile to. “Hi.”

“Hi!” She exclaimed as she rushed to him and they embraced each other tight. “Hi!”

His father walked in a second later carrying her bags. Dropping them on the floor and shutting the door, he noted “You guys just saw each other yesterday.”

“That was yesterday,” Joseph’s muffled reply answered. “And that wasn’t here in this house.”

“Fair enough, I suppose.”

When they broke apart, his mother crouched down and gave Peanut a rub down to which she splayed herself on the floor to and waited for more. Laughing, his mother gave the needy cat a belly rub then turned to look at the little basset mix looking on. “Aw, this is Waddle! Hey there! You’re so freaking adorable!”

“Told you,” Joseph laughed as he softly pushed Waddle closer. “Say hi to bába.”

The dog sniffed his mother’s hand carefully with his cute droopy face. He seemed happy with what he smelled because he waddled closer and began to lick her hand in hello. Rubbing his head and scratching behind his ears, his mother smiled “Hello to you too.”

Crouching beside them, his father pet Peanut then Waddle. Nobody was allowed to pet one without the other; it was a sacred rule. “Hey yous.”

“So,” Joseph started, “Uh, I don’t know if you guys are up to the point of makeup sex and whatever but if you are, I’m sleeping at Emilio’s. Tell me now so I can pack myself and these two. They don’t need to hear you people.”

His father broke into a laugh Joseph hadn’t heard in so long while his mother’s face went scarlet. Joseph would bet money that she was too afraid to voice her opinion on the matter because she probably had no clue where the relationship currently stood.

Sitting down fully onto the floor with one leg bent to his chest and being used as an arm rest, his father replied with a huge smile “You should probably start packing.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')


	116. Chapter 115

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> I tried to think of something to say today but couldn't think of nothing lol  
> Oh well ^.^
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> _“I mean, sure, they’re cool but you tell me birds or tigers, I’m gonna pick tigers.”_

To celebrate the fact that Ivo and Vesela were back together, they had decided that a big breakfast would be a great idea. Breakfast happened to be almost everyone’s favorite meal so it worked nicely. The mentioned couple and son were to come to his house because it was a lot easier to pack over three people than it was to pack five and a half.

The half was the soon to be born baby, of course.

Really, it was a good idea. They were all in good moods, everyone happy with the other.

It had been a good idea.

That is, it was until the doorbell rang and Yulian went to see who was at his door on an early Saturday morning.

“Until…the…baby is born…” Yulian trailed in reply to the words.

The people at his door happened to be his parents.

They wanted to surprise them.

Surprise.

“Yes!” his mother – Mila – exclaimed. “And a few weeks after is what we’re thinking. It’s been awhile since we’ve visited and you rarely bother to make the effort yourself. The occasion of another grandchild is a wonderful reason for us to spend a month with you. Maybe more, we’ll see.”

God, did he want to laugh right now as he sat on the couch across from them. Scratching along his jaw, he replied “That’s nice.” It wasn’t but there was nothing he could do about it. If he voiced any sort of displeasure then not only would they spend a month.

They’d spend two.

His parents may come off as easy going cheery people but they were stubborn. Difficult. Anal. Constantly spent time reminding their kids that no matter how old they were, they were still kids.

So they had the final word in everything.

No matter what.

Yulian generally got a little more leniency than his four siblings because his parents thought that would help them stomach the fact of their son being a mobster. They tried very hard to ignore that part of his life.

“Isn’t it?” his father smiled. “Family is really all people have in life. We must always stick together, you know that.”

Stefan was a firm believer in family. Family and family values and family morals and…

This month was going to be so hard.

God help him. Spending a month with his mother would be hard, yes, as she’d subtly hate on him for the entire month and all his life choices. Those words always stung despite all the years he’s heard them.

But his father was not a subtle man.

It was going to be a long month.

“Where’s Nikol?” his mother asked curiously, glancing around the seemingly empty house. There were a few things that Nikol was jealous of Vesela for.

Not having a mother-in-law was one of them.

Actually, just not having any in-laws in general.

And Yulian didn’t blame her. His mother was not easy to put up with. She criticized everything and everyone.

Especially Nikol.

She hadn’t been happy when he said he wanted to marry his boss’ eldest daughter. His parents had always believed that Yulian would be able to get out of the life. They never understood that there was no out of the mob, especially for someone who was trapped from a debt.

So the blame of him still being a mobster was placed on his wife. Supposedly, if he hadn’t married her, he would have gotten out.

Load of bull but they never liked listening.

“Shower. Kids are either still sleeping or one of them will show up any minute now.” How sad was it that he was too afraid to tell them that his sister-in-law’s family was joining them for breakfast.

His parents didn’t believe in hate.

But they hated Ivo.

And he them.

_Oh Jesus…_

“How many times have I told you not to take the Lord’s name in vain?” His father asked with distaste. He was a religious man and when he found that Timotei was as well, his father warmed a lot to the other man. “And what exactly is it you’re complaining about?”

Of course he had said it out loud.

Should he just tell them? They could have the annoyance filled heart attack now or later… “Uh…well, we’re actually having a breakfast today with Vesela and them. They’re coming here.”

“Them being…”

“Ivo and Joseph.” Who exactly was ‘them’ supposed to be?

“Oh,” his mother started, trying to not show her displeasure, “That’s good…”

“Family is really all people have in life,” he smiled, using his father’s words to his advantage.

About to reply with some sort of retort, his father was interrupted by the ring of the bell. “That must be them.” Early but oh well; maybe it was better that way.

Going to the door, he opened to a very happy looking Joseph holding a very odd looking puppy. “Hi, tetíncho!” He raised the dog up, “I brought Waddle!”

He couldn’t help but smile from the delight emitted off the boy in front of him. It’d been a long while that he had seen this kind of joy on him. “So this is Waddle, huh? You’re right, he’s adorable.”

“Duh,” Joseph laughed as he walked in and placed the dog on the floor. Ivo and Vesela came in a second later and Yulian shut the door after them. He waited for the inevitable.

“Oh Jesus,” Ivo muttered. “Warning would have been nice.”

“I found them on my door about ten minutes ago. No time for a warning.”

Rolling her eyes at both of them, Vesela walked over to his parents to say hello, with he and Ivo trailing behind. Waddle and Joseph joined them too.

The dog actually waddled. Huh.

“Hello, Joseph,” his mother smiled. “How are you, dear?”

“Good,” he replied after sitting on the floor and rubbing Waddle. “Thank you.”

His formality used to bother Yulian. His parents were obviously his kids’ grandparents and because Joseph had none besides Timotei, he kind of just figured his parents could fill that role. But it never seemed to work; his parents were too stiff with Joseph and he returned the favor. They weren’t comfortable with one another, though he had no idea why.

But then, Joseph had bába and abuela and they seemed to enjoy filling their roles as grandmothers.

So Yulian stopped caring.

“That’s good. I see you’ve got a friend there?”

Face finally breaking from a freeze, Joseph grinned. “Yup. This is Waddle. Albena’s been wanting to meet him so I brought him for breakfast with us. I didn’t think tétka would mind.” Joseph turned curiously to him. “You don’t mind?”

Yulian shook his head, “House trained hopefully?”

“Uh, kinda? If it makes you feel better, he hasn’t had any accidents at home yet.”

“He’d face an earlier death then,” Ivo muttered from the chair in which he sat, doing whatever on his phone. Joseph simply rolled his eyes in good humor.

The fact didn’t make him feel any better but he wasn’t going to bother. “Cleaning stuff’s in the closet in the hall.”

Laughing, Joseph replied “Noted.”

“Nikol?” Vesela asked.

“Upstairs.” Nodding, Vesela stood and went to her sister. He knew his mother would complain about that later but then, what didn’t she complain about.

Joseph was rubbing Waddle’s belly when he said “Oh, so tetíncho, we’re planning to go to the zoo soon and you guys are invited. Although either Timotei will be born or tétka’s gonna be way too exhausted.”

Before he could speak, his father cut in. “That sounds fun. Which zoo will you guys go to?”

It almost sounded like his father just declined his invitation for him. He may not be a zoo person but fuck if he wasn’t going to go now, Nikol or no Nikol. “We’d love to join you. Your tétka can just stay home.” Ivo snorted because he knew exactly why Yulian agreed but otherwise kept his silence.

“Awesome! Emilio’s family is coming too and we’re taking bába and Ivet too.” Turning to Yulian’s father, Joseph answered “And we’re gonna go to the Bronx Zoo. Did you know they have snow leopards? That’s so cool. Snow leopards are actually more closely related to tigers than leopards. Also, even though they’re a big cat, they can’t actually roar.”

“Really?” Ivo asked, looking genuinely curious. “Why not?”

“Because their vocals chords are different. Kind of like they’re underdeveloped. Also, they have really big paws and nasal cavities. And-”

“Because the elevation they live in, isn’t it?” Yulian interrupted. If no one stopped him now, Joseph would never stop.

“Exactly,” he smiled. “The paws because of needing to maneuver and walk over all the rocky outcrops and stuff and their noses because of the lack of oxygen up there. Having deeper cavities lets them take in more air.”

“Why are we talking about big noses?” Anka asked as she came down with Albena and set her younger sister down. His youngest was still hesitant around his parents and didn’t want to come to them.

“Snow leopards,” Joseph replied. “We’re gonna go to the Bronx Zoo and they have some.”

His daughter’s eyes lit up with excitement as she bounded over. “Today?”

“No,” Ivo answered. “Couple weeks from now. We’re waiting for Raul’s day off. Ivet and bába are coming too.”

“Great!” Anka jumped in excitement. “It’ll be sooo much fun! We even have an animal expert!”

“I know, I’m awesome,” Joseph nodded solemnly.

“Dork,” Anka laughed as she hugged her grandparents. “We’re not gonna have to drag mayko around are we? She’s gonna slow us down.”

“Anka!” his mother chastised as she sat her granddaughter down beside her. “Don’t be rude!”

“Well she is,” she muttered as Ivo laughed in what Yulian believed to be agreement.

“Your daughter says you’re a slow ass,” Ivo called when Nikol and Vesela appeared at the foot of the stairs. Nikol was trying to grab Albena to come say hello.

Nikol – beyond exhausted already – simply mumbled as she walked over after giving up with Albena “Honestly, she’s not even wrong. This pregnancy is just too hard.”

“Maybe you should have just stayed in bed?” Yulian voiced his concern. They could deal with their own breakfast. “Rest more?”

“It’s fine,” she sighed as she slowly sat beside him on the couch. Giving his parents a tired smile, she rested her head on his shoulder and said “This is a surprise.”

“You look exhausted,” his mother said in almost shock. What was she expecting exactly? “Are you taking care of yourself?”

Ivo and Nikol had an odd relationship that really Yulian could only classify as mortal enemy brother and sister. He could diss her as much as he liked in his mind, but no one else was allowed to. “Oh no,” his brother-in-law said with a voice full of sarcasm, “She eats loads of shit, spends her day in front of the tv, smoking, and let’s not forget the drinking.”

“Thank you, Ivo,” his father said stiffly.

“I was not implying that she wasn’t,” his mother added, “She just looks like a mess is all.”

“I imagine being nine months pregnant does that to you,” Joseph snorted quietly as Waddle tried to eat his hand.

The disrespect was apparent and while Yulian didn’t approve, he appreciated the defense of Nikol. “What he means is that-”

His mother hardly wanted to hear it though. “Forget it. I’m sorry for voicing my concern for my soon to be born grandchild.”

“Not for your daughter-in-law, huh?”

“That’s not what I meant, Yulian.”

Rubbing his face into his hand, Yulian knew one thing for certain.

This was going to be one long ass month.

 

 

“Hey mayko?” Joseph asked after a bite of hash brown. Vesela looked from her plate in questioning. “If I were to get a tattoo, would you get mad?”

“Yes,” Ivo replied. “I would.”

“I think that was my question,” Vesela muttered. “But yes, I would too. Why?”

Shrugging, Joseph revealed “I think when I’m older, Ima gets lots of them.”

Nikol’s eyebrows rose into her newly cut bangs. He’d never tell her but he didn’t really like. She said it was to cover her huge forehead although what her definition of a huge forehead was, he had no clue because she definitely didn’t have one. “Lots of them?”

“Yeah,” he nodded with a sip of milk, “They’re way cool.”

“They are for ghetto trash and are far from respectable,” his father input with a look of distaste written all over him. Typical. “Why would you mark yourself like that?”

“Because they’re cool,” Joseph repeated. “Plus, tatko _and_ tetíncho have one.”

“Pft,” Yulian blew, “Those are brands of ownership. Big difference.” His parents had had heart attacks when he showed them his mark after a month with the mob. He didn’t really have anything against tattoos but they weren’t his thing. Nobody had a choice when you were owned though.

“I wish you would just have that removed,” his mother griped. “I hate every time I catch eyes with it on your wrist.”

Ivo turned to Yulian. “I hadn’t realized you were no longer working for me?”

With a roll of his eyes, Yulian muttered “Don’t be an idiot more than you are.” He looked to his mother, “And I’m not removing it.”

“He doesn’t have the right to,” Ivo added. “I haven’t given him my approval to leave. Unless, of course, he becomes a traitor, then I’ll burn it off his arm myself before I murder him.”

“Thank you for that,” Yulian snorted. “Really.” No one reacted to the words except his parents because they all knew that it’d never happen. They had nothing to worry about.

“Anyways,” Joseph cut in, bringing the conversation back to his point, “I’ve got a whole canvas to use. And I’m gonna use it.”

“Canvas?” Anka asked.

Her cousin gestured down his chest. “All this, plus my back, and plus my arms and legs.”

“Going all the way, huh?” Nikol laughed. “My rebel nephew wants to give his family heart attacks.”

“I don’t see why it’s a problem,” Joseph said. “Mr. Vidal has tattoos. Lots of them. He’s got his gang ones, Puerto Rico ones, and all his kids names, plus Mrs. Vidal and abuela, and their birthdays. Oh and the blue bands around his upper arm. And he’s not ghetto trash.”

“Used to be,” Ivo laughed.

“Whatever. Point is, I’m going to get tons. I’ll look so awesome.”

“Yeah but think about it,” Andrey started, “My animal is sick and I take him to the vet. No offense, but I wouldn’t trust if I went into the office and my vet was some fully tattooed dude.”

“That’s a stupid way to judge people,” Joseph responded, “Tattoos don’t make you a bad person. Hello? Mr. Vidal?”

His father decided it was his turn to try and ruin Joseph’s parade. “I’ve never met this Mr. Vidal but I will say that people will judge regardless. How you present yourself is incredibly important and tattoos do nothing but make you seem like a fool off the street.”

Joseph simply shrugged because he could care less what Yulian’s father had to say. “I’m gonna get piercings too.”

“Oh, Jesus Christ,” Ivo mumbled into his hands as Vesela laughed. “Where did I go wrong…”

“What? Mr. Vidal has one in his ear. He doesn’t wear the earring but he has the hole for it. I’ll get my ear and my lip too. Maybe my tongue even.”

“Oh Raul, you’re so dead today…” Ivo muttered with a bite of omelet.

“Why don’t you add a nipple bar while you’re at it,” Yulian snorted to Joseph. He regretted it only a second later because he knew Joseph wouldn’t take it as a joke.

“Is that a thing?” his nephew asked with wide eyes. “Then I want one of those too.” He wondered if he told Joseph that there were people that pierced their dicks if he’d want that too.

“I think I want a belly button piercing.”

Yulian and Nikol both turned their heads to glare at Anka. “No way in hell. Not happening.”

“Definitely not,” his mother added to his words, “That is hardly appropriate for a young lady.”

Anka, being more him than Nikol, wasn’t fazed. Stubbornness ran firm through her veins. “It’s social standards that put restrictions on young ladies. A young lady should be as free as her mind calls for, not restricted by foolish standards that were originally put into place by men.”

She had a point but that wasn’t why Yulian didn’t want her getting one. He didn’t want tattoos or piercings for any of his kids; boy or girl. If it was up to him, he’d find a way to make sure Joseph never got any either.

His mother, of course, was going to strike back with some firm words but Joseph interrupted first. “Go Anka,” he laughed. “It’s cool. Me and you will go to the same piercing place and we can do matching tattoos too.”

“We’re gonna be so cool,” Anka laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')


	117. Chapter 116

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> I always wanted to go to the Bronx Zoo. These lucky bastards
> 
> See yous Tuesday, my dudes
> 
> _“Oh my Jesus. I think I just lost a few years.”_

As Joseph stood staring at the huge Bison practically before him, he knew that the longer than an hour drive was totally worth it. “Whoa…”

The amazing bromilio stood beside him and was also in awe. “Totally… Let it rip.”

“Bulls can reach six feet tall and two thousand pounds. Cows go four to five feet and one thousand pounds. They’re super strong swimmers, can run up to thirty-five miles per hour, and are pretty agile. They’re North America’s largest land animal and fun fact,” Joseph paused for emphasis, “Their fur is so insulated that when snow lands on it, it doesn’t melt.”

“Like at all?” Anka asked curiously beside him.

“Nope.”

“Where to next?” Linda asked while looking at the map. “Birds or…” she trailed off as she read, “Tigers.”

“Tigers, duh,” his father snorted from behind them. “Birds are boring.”

“I like birds,” Ivet called from where she stood reading the plaque for the bison. “I would think you’d like animals like vultures or something, my lord.”

Adjusting the cap on his head, his father shrugged “I mean, sure, they’re cool but you tell me birds or tigers, I’m gonna pick tigers.”

“Me too,” Mr. Vidal agreed while trying to convince Alondra to keep the hat on her head. Abuela sighed when Alondra yet again yanked it off her head and threw it.

“Aye, Raul, five children and yet you cannot get a little girl to keep a hat on her head?” Shaking her head, she stooped down and grabbed the little sun hat from the floor.

“My four previous children combined are not as difficult as this one.”

“Not difficult,” Alondra muttered.

“Yes, yes, you are,” her father sighed as he crouched down to her level. “If I said ‘please’ would that be enough?”

Clucking her tongue, abuela once more shook her head. “Amateur.”

“What if I said please?” Emilio chimed from where he and Joseph still stood admiring the bison. “Please? You’re gonna end up getting all burned and then it’s gonna hurt and it’ll be all itchy-”

“And all your skin will fall off,” Joseph added helpfully.

Alondra blinked at the pair of them suspiciously. “No.”

His father nodded. “It will. Then no more Alondra.” He pointed to his hat, “See? I have a hat so that way there will always be Ivo in this world.” Pointing to Joseph and Emilio, he added “Hats.” Continuing, he pointed to everyone else with them – tetíncho Yulian, Linda, Anka, Ivet, Andrey, Albena, and Mrs. Simeonov. “Hats.”

Abuela touched the brim of her own sun hat and then slammed her hand down hard on Mr. Vidal’s head atop his baseball hat who flinched away with a frown of annoyance. “Hats, nieta. Now you’re going to wear it and that is that. I will hear no more of this.” She held out Alondra’s hat to her. “Huh, Alondra, how’s this going to go? Should papa take you home for not listening?”

Yanking the hat from abuela, Alondra shoved it on her head with a frown. “I wanna see the animals.”

“Then listen and don’t argue such silly things.”

Sighing as he shook his head and stood, Mr. Vidal muttered “My life is run by women.” He let out a very undignified yelp when abuela clapped him one on the back of his head. “Ow,” he said in annoyance while rubbing his head.

“You are lucky to have so many wonderful women in your life.”

“I didn’t say I wasn’t,” Mr. Vidal grumbled as Joseph’s father laughed at him. “Just said they seem to run me.”

“It’s good for you,” Anka snorted. “Men always need a woman to put them in their place. Once, tétka told me that it’s within every Dobrev woman to have some snark in her because she has to put her man into his place.”

“Hardly such a thing to say,” Mrs. Simeonov said with a voice filled with distaste.

“Nah,” tetíncho joined in, “There’s nothing wrong with it.” Joseph had noticed that in the beginning, he hadn’t really been into the zoo but once he started seeing the animals, he seemed to be enjoying it more.

“Really?”

“Yes. I’d like to know that my daughter was raised as a strong independent woman who doesn’t need a man in her life. But if she’d like one, then she knows that she doesn’t exist for him to walk all over.”

“I’ll kick every man’s ass,” Ivet muttered with arms crossed. Andrey blushed a little and now Joseph couldn’t help but be worried for his lovesick cousin.

“Even one who likes you?” Joseph asked for Andrey’s blushing benefit.

“If he’s a jackass, then yeah.”

“What if he’s real sweet?” He didn’t know how his cousin would be as a boyfriend but Joseph had high hopes in him.

Ivet thought for a minute before replying “Then I don’t kick his ass because he’s an awesome dude.”

“That’s a relief,” tetíncho Yulian muttered so low, Joseph was sure he was the only one who caught it. “I want my child in one piece.”

“Yo, peeps,” Linda called out, “Still wanna go see tigers, you know.”

They continued their walk to the tigers, everyone chitchatting and glancing around. His tétka and his mother hadn’t come because baby Timotei had been born last week. Tétka Nikol wanted rest and his mother was more than happy to watch over Timotei. Mr. Simeonov had also stayed at his tetíncho’s because apparently not liking zoos was actually something someone could manage. Mrs. Vidal had a shift at the hospital while Alicia had already made plans for a friend’s birthday party. Maria had ended up going with her because she didn’t want to come to the zoo and Mr. Vidal wouldn’t let her stay home alone because he knew she’d bring her new boyfriend around. Bába had decided she wanted to stay at his tetíncho’s because she wanted to enjoy the new baby.

As for why Mrs. Simeonov was with them?

_Tetíncho Yulian’s eyes lit with surprise when Mrs. Simeonov came down dressed and ready. “Uh…”_

_Blinking at him and making sure her fancy hat was straight, she notified “I’m coming with you all.”_

_“Oh Jesus fuck,” his father muttered while shaking his head. Joseph couldn’t help but agree. She was a nice woman and all but…just…no._

_Scratching his hair under the Mets hat on his head, his uncle replied “Coming with us.”_

_“Yes,” she smiled. “I haven’t been to a zoo in years and quite frankly, I don’t trust three men to be able to watch all the children. I have yet to meet this Raul but if he’s like the pair of yous, I can’t help but worry.”_

_Rubbing his forehead what seemed to be tiredly, tetíncho Yulian said “You don’t trust us to watch our own children…”_

_“We’re all practically teenagers besides for Alondra and Albena,” Joseph snorted. “It’s not like we’re babies who’ll give them a hard time. Plus, abuela is coming too with Mr. Vidal so there’s actually a grown lady with us.”_

_“I understand that,” Mrs. Simeonov said with strained patience, “But I’d still prefer to keep my own eye. Albena is only two-”_

_“Almost three,” Andrey cut in._

_“Only two,” his cousins’ grandmother emphasized, “I imagine she can be a handful sometimes.”_

_“She can but I, as her father, am more than capable of handling such ‘handfullness,’” tetíncho said, his voice filling with slight annoyance. “If you’d like to come with us, you’re more than welcome to but please do not express your disbelief in three grown-ass mens’ capabilities in watching their children.”_

_Rolling her eyes with an irritated huff, Mrs. Simeonov started “Yulian, I am not saying-”_

_“If you’d like to come with us,” he repeated, “You’re more than welcome to if you’re are looking for some family enjoyment. Any other reason will keep you home.”_

His father whistle appraisingly as they stood in front of the tiger exhibit. “Damn…”

“Agreed,” Mr. Vidal said as they stared at the beautiful cat lying in a patch of sun on the other side of the glass. “Beautiful.”

Linda stood almost with her face pressed to the glass. “Got anything on this one, Joseph?”

Foolish question. “Of course. Tigers are the largest cat species and can reach lengths of eleven feet-”

“Fucking shit,” his father whispered as he stared fully enraptured by the lounging beast.

“Language, please, Ivo,” Mrs. Simeonov reprimanded with a scrunched nose.

“Fucking shit,” he repeated to bother her more. Gesturing to Joseph, he mumbled “Keep going.”

Continuing, Joseph added “They’re actually blind for the first week of their lives and a lot of times, cubs don’t survive. Oh, oh, really cool fact? Their saliva is actually antiseptic so when they lick their wounds, they’re disinfecting them.”

Andrey was about to speak when a man beside them spoke up. “My, we’ve got quite the wildlife expert here! You seem to know your stuff.”

“Uh, thanks,” Joseph smiled at the man, “I just read a lot.”

“A lot,” Ivet emphasized with a nod, “He’s cool like that.”

“Way cool,” Emilio added in all seriousness. “He’s our animal expert.”

“Nice! You thinking a career in animals, kid? You definitely should.”

Joseph was about to answer when fingers grazed his back and his father was suddenly beside him. “Whether he is or isn’t doesn’t happen to be any of your business.”

The man looked unfazed by his father’s dismissing tone. “Curious question is all. He’s got the right stuff for it. Zookeeper, maybe? Veterinarian?”

“How about you do me the favor and fuck off, yeah?”

Mrs. Simeonov looked horribly offended on the behalf of the stranger. “Ivo.”

“Asshole much?” The man snorted, “Take a breath, man, or you’ll have an aneurism or something.”

“Enough,” Mr. Vidal interrupted because he knew how Joseph’s father could get if this kept going. “I’m sorry, sir, but if you could just give a little space. Obviously, you aren’t required to ‘fuck off’ as the zoo is welcome to anyone but if you could just not speak with the children against any parents’ wishes.”

Rolling his eyes, the man shrugged and said “Whatever makes you happy, beaner.” Joseph had no clue what that word meant but he could actually see the anger in the way Mr. Vidal tensed. He wasn’t the type of man to get angry often; Joseph wondered what he was like when he was really pissed.

“Such an ignorant man,” abuela suddenly snorted, “A stupid ignorant man you are. Why don’t you run off somewhere where you’d stand a chance in the fight you seem to be looking for. Although I don’t think you’ll find it anywhere; you probably can’t even win a size contest, you’re so pathetic.” She did a dismissive wave, “Shoo shoo and go find a dick before you challenge an actual man.”

Joseph’s jaw dropped and his father broke into huge laughs. The man stared with wide eyes at abuela, probably not expecting the old lady to know how to use her words. “Excuse me?”

“Adios,” she said firmly.

The man continued to stare before he shook his head and walked off, muttering before he did “Crazy bitch.”

“Go find a dick?” His father questioned, his voice still filled with his laughter. “What the hell?”

Shrugging and walking back to hold onto Alondra’s stroller, abuela said “Ivo, I have three boys, one who decided that being a gangster was a good idea. I know very well how to speak.”

Mr. Vidal rolled his eyes, “Well, gee, just drag me down why don’t you.”

“Mothers are good at that,” tetíncho snorted. “ _Very_ good at that.”

“When do I ever drag you down, Yulian?” Mrs. Simeonov asked in surprise. “When exactly?”

He didn’t think eyebrows can go that high. “You’re joking, right? Do you want examples? Specifics?”

Something told Joseph this might take a while as he and Emilio glanced between his uncle and Mrs. Simeonov. Hashing stuff out at the zoo wasn’t the best idea but maybe some stuff needed to be taken off their chests. It’d been a long month, Joseph guessed. As long as they didn’t take forever, it was cool.

“Yes.”

Blinking at her for a few more seconds in shock, tetíncho Yulian finally said “Okay, how about we start simple with just a couple hours ago? I apparently don’t know how to take of my kids despite that I’m a freakin’ forty-one year old man. Or yesterday when I came home exhausted and put a sip of vodka and you started going off on me-”

“It is alcohol’s fault that your life is the way it is,” she interrupted with a hard voice. “Alcohol, Yulian, is the reason your future was stripped. A very good future.”

Two decades later and she still rubbed in it? Sheesh. No wonder his uncle didn’t like when they visited. “What is wrong with my life? What? Is it something I never imagined? Yeah, maybe it is. But I have a damn good life filled with my wife and kids where I don’t have to worry because they are well taken care of because of what my life is.”

“What you do is not something to be proud of.” Andrey had told him once that the words ‘gangster’ or ‘mobster’ never crossed her lips. It was like saying it aloud made it too real for her.

“What I do is what I do. I’m a mobster; that’s my life. There is no out, there never was. This is my life and it’s not changing. And you know what? I am damn good at what I do and yes, I’m proud of that.”

“He’s really fucking good,” his father added with a nod. “Piece of shit but damn fucking brilliant.”

Shaking his head, tetíncho muttered “Thank you, asshat.”

“You’re welcome.”

Mrs. Simeonov’s face was firm and blank. She was much like his father in that she always hid her emotions. “Proud he says. Proud of the horrible things he does.” Shaking her head, she looked to Linda who held the map. “Where are we going next, dear? Wherever it is, make sure you relay it to _Lord_ Simeonov because I have no desire to speak with him myself.”

“Oh for…” his aunt’s husband huffed in annoyance with a very frustrated looking face. “Mom-” Joseph had always found it weird that his uncle said that; he hadn’t grown up using the Bulgarian words in his household.

“Mrs. Simeonov,” she interrupted sternly, “I am not your mother. My second child was a respectable genius young man. You aren’t him; you are whatever the hell you are.”

Anger that Joseph had never seen flared in his uncle’s eyes. He swore there was some hurt hidden beneath it too. Grinding his jaw side to side, he replied “Being that my home is not a hotel, _Mrs. Simeonov,_ I’d advise that you pack your shit and husband and get the hell out of my home when we get back. You wanna do this again? Then we’ll do it again. Except this time, I won’t be the one begging to hear your voice.”

“Damn,” his father whispered, eyes wide with surprise. Joseph very much agreed. Probably, everyone actually.

“I am staying with my grandchildren.”

“If I am not your son, then they are not your grandkids.” Andrey and Anka looked between each other, eyes wide. “You’re just a stranger.”

Face still firm and emotionless, Mrs. Simeonov asked “You’d deny me my grandkids, Yulian?”

“Lord Simeonov and yes. Isn’t that what you want? I’m not your son, remember? I’m whatever the hell I am. My kids don’t talk to strangers.”

“I think this is something that needs thought and honesty,” abuela interrupted before things could get uglier than they already were. “It needs time and talk and this is hardly the place to have it. For that matter, the audience of children here do not need to hear it.”

Looking to abuela, Mrs. Simeonov asked “Did you keep him?”

“Keep who?”

She pointed at Mr. Vidal who cocked his head in confusion. “Him. He was a…a gangster, wasn’t he? Did you keep him when you found out?”

“I would never disown any of my children. I did not suffer through pregnancy and labor just to give up on them. Has he made choices that made me angry? Yes, many many choices. Choices that made me hate the sight of him, choices that made me grind my teeth and want to beat him for his stupidity. But not a single day did I give up on him because I knew one day, he would wake up and see what he was doing with his life. One day, my son would see his mess and fix his mistakes.”

Mr. Vidal simply stared at the floor as he stood with his arms crossed as abuela continued. “His father, on the other hand, wanted nothing to do with him. Tried to be rid of him, throw him out, but I stood in his way. To this day, he prefers not speaking to Raul. I am not my husband. People make mistakes and it is wrong to hold it against them for a lifetime. Forgiveness is something that exists.”

Joseph wasn’t surprised by this; he had asked Emilio once about his other grandparents. His mother’s parents were still in Puerto Rico and had visited once when they lived in Connecticut. His grandfather apparently, as abuela said, wanted nothing to do with them. It was like he didn’t care – erased the fact that he had another son.

“But Raul is not like Yulian,” abuela continued, “He was a stupid child, a boy of twelve, when he thought being a gangster was the most amazing thing he could possibly be. Yulian was a grown man who got stuck in a very bad situation. Was it his fault? Yes, but that does not mean to hate on him for the rest of his life. He has made the best of his situation, marrying, having a beautiful family that you should be proud of. A family he keeps safe and separated from what he does. You should be proud that he teaches his kids to strive for something different than what he does. Even el diablo does that. They may be mobsters, señora, but they are good men. Well, Yulian is a good man.”

“Wow…” his father muttered while shaking his head, “Thanks a ton, really.”

“I see you as you are even if no one else does, amor.”

Mrs. Simeonov’s face still hadn’t changed. His tetíncho’s face was also blank as he stood grinding his jaw and arms crossed. Joseph was all for people fixing their problems but he still had a zoo to see. Lots and lots of ground to cover and animals to admire.

Clearing his throat nervously, he smiled his charming smile and said “Uh, we, uh, still have lots of animals to see and I’ve still got tons of animal facts to dish out and impress you guys with…so…uh…”

A corner of his tetíncho’s mouth upturned, giving him the smallest smile in the world on his blank face. “Very good point, Mr. Kavinsky. I, for one, will admit that I’ve been incredibly impressed with your unending information.” He looked to Linda and said with a deep sigh, “Where to next?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')


	118. Chapter 117

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> Couple things today.
> 
> 1) If I ask you guys to give suggestions, will you actually do it besides for my usual awesome dudes (nothing wrong with you guys, I'm just trying to get more people talking/involved)? When you reach the end notes, you'll see the question. It's not a huge deal but I like to get opinions and I'm sure y'all got some. It's a little thing, not some drastic heavy decision (we're saving that ques for later on, y'all better say something when that time comes)
> 
> 2) You guys are in need of a temp dict for this chpt. It's the 'explicit stuff in other languages Dictionary'
> 
> Puñeta - (Spanish) wanker/masturbator/ dude who please himself using his fist/ jerking off. Don't go around saying it in Puerto Rico to random strangers  
> Ruska Putka - (Bulgarian) Russian pussy/cunt. Definitely DO NOT go around calling ppl that  
> Pederast - (Bulgarian) Faggot. DON'T  
> Ebi Se V Guza - (Bulgarian) Fuck yourself in the ass. Do I really need to say it?
> 
> And I think that's the important stuff! Enjoy today and I'll see you guys Thursday
> 
> _“I always love when he yells. It’s so awesome.”_

“Uh…I can’t see,” Joseph complained, standing on the tip of his toes, face pressed to the glass, and just trying to glimpse the baby gorilla who everyone in the Congo exhibit seemed to be awe-ing and pointing at. It was supposedly on the big huge tree arch thing but Joseph _couldn’t see._

Not cool.

He was obviously taller than he used to be but not tall enough.

Moving away from beside Ivet and walking to his father who was looking from a spot where tall people could see everything, Joseph decided that desperate times called for desperate measures.

Tapping his father’s arm to get his attention, Joseph asked “Can you lift me? I can’t see nothing.” He hadn’t been carried in years and hated the fact that he needed to be lifted but dammit, he wanted to see the baby ape. “Please?”

Smiling, his father bent down and wrapped an arm around Joseph’s legs, hoisting him up. Placing an arm around his father’s shoulders to steady himself, Joseph peered around the exhibit but still saw nothing. “Where?”

“Right between those branches,” his father pointed. “See or no?”

Joseph leaned forward a little and squinted when he finally saw a black thing moving. “I see!” Turning its face to them, Joseph marveled at the baby. “It’s so cute.”

“Eh,” his father mumbled.

“Why eh? Look at it.”

“I am. It’s okay. Tell me baby lions, bears, or whatever are cute and I’ll agree. Monkeys aren’t really cute.”

His shook his head in mock shame of his father. “Tatko, these are apes, not monkeys. There’s a difference.”

“Whatever. The point is, those things, once they’re grown, can rip a person into two.” They both watched as one of the adult gorillas ambled closer to the glass. So far, none of the many animals they had seen had come close to the exhibit glass. The gorilla was the closest Joseph had been to any of them.

Putting him down when the gorilla literally stood at the glass staring at them, his father crouched down to really look at it. Joseph stood by him and watched as man and ape examined one another in silence of noise and movement. Their company came over from the far side of the exhibit to come see.

“That thing is freakishly muscled,” Andrey muttered from behind Joseph.

“No kidding,” Linda agreed quietly.

The gorilla didn’t move until finally it slammed the glass hard causing them all to jump, not the least his father who jumped to his feet in seconds, backing up a few steps. Clutching his heart, his voice was almost breathless “Jesus fucks of all fucking fucks. Scared the shit out of me you angry fucking fucker of fuckers.” He laughed while still clutching his chest, “Oh my Jesus. I think I just lost a few years.”

Mr. Vidal, who had Alondra up on his shoulders, was cracking up. “Y-Your f-face! I wish I had recorded that!”

“Missed opportunities,” Emilio laughed, although he like Joseph, had also freaked out. “But that? That was scary.”

Tetíncho Yulian, who hadn’t spoken much since his fight with Mrs. Simeonov, smiled and patted Joseph’s father on the shoulder. “It’s gonna be okay, old man. Don’t you worry.”

“Shut the fuck up,” his father laughed, shoving off his hand. “Don’t act like it didn’t freak the shit out of you either.”

“Nah, I was prepared.”

“I saw you jump, tatko,” Anka grinned, “The only one who didn’t was Miss Iron Lady abuela over there.”

Smiling at Anka and throwing a wink at Joseph, she replied “I’m not scared of some monkey.”

“Ape!” Joseph huffed, throwing his arms into the air. She was the fourth person already to say monkey and something told him they were all doing it on purpose now. “A gorilla is an ape. An ape, people.”

“Ape!” Albena shouted with excitement from her stroller that tetíncho was now pushing. He had taken her from Mrs. Simeonov once she was officially labeled ‘stranger’ in his mind. He never knew his uncle could get that mean. “Ape not mokey!”

“Monkey but yes! Thank you!”

“You are too passionate about this,” Ivet laughed while shaking her head. “I worry for you, dear Joseph.”

“I’m correcting you people,” he rolled his eyes as he spoke. “So y’all don’t seem stupid.”

“Wow…” his father snorted “Now I understand why you people hate me when I say that. It sounds so horribly condescending to ‘us people.’”

“I learned from the best.”

With a snort of amusement, Mr. Vidal said as they walked on “Ain’t that the truth.”

Going to exhibit after exhibit, they all could say that they were officially exhausted. The zoo was huge and there was tons to see. They were at their last exhibit – the sea lions – when Joseph paused in front of one of those huge maps and realized he had missed something.

Camels.

Camel _rides_.

He had the chance to ride a freaking camel.

A camel.

“Tatko!” Joseph called to his father who was watching the sea lions swimming by. He waved him over when his father glanced over. He pointed on the map at the camels. “Camel rides.”

His father glanced from the map to Joseph’s face, back and forth. “Camel rides.”

“Please?”

“Joseph, it’s across the whole fucking park. You should have said something when we were over there.”

“I didn’t notice.”

Shrugging and beginning to walk away, his father replied “Well then too bad. I’m not willing to walk a fucking mile back so you can ride a camel.”

Following him back to their party, Joseph tried again. “Please, tatko, please?”

“No, Joseph.”

“No what?” Mr. Vidal asked curiously.

“Camel ride,” Joseph said full of hope, thinking that maybe his savior was his friend’s father. “Please? When am I ever gonna get to ride a camel?”

Looking to Joseph’s father, Mr. Vidal made a questioning face. “Because,” his father began, “It’s across the entire fucking park. I am not walking back just for a camel. He should’ve been paying attention.”

“But-”

“No,” his father affirmed, “That’s it.”

“It is a long way back,” Mr. Vidal tried to explain when he saw how down the refusal made Joseph. “I mean, we’re all exhausted. And I’m sure there’s a next time.”

“Me and Emilio can go by ourselves,” he offered in hope.

“Not a chance. That’s way too far for you guys to go alone.”

Deciding to give it one last shot, Joseph started “Okay but-”

“Joseph, enough,” his father interrupted with that tone of voice that made his blood turn cold. The voice that he hated more than anything, that terrified him beyond anything else. “No is no. Pay attention next time and push again and we’re done. We go home; no gift shop, no lunch. Go ahead, push.”

“Sorry,” he mumbled while staring at the floor, trying his best to avoid his father’s hard stare. Not enjoying the feeling of everyone looking at him in his depression, he moved to the exhibit and stared at the sea lions. They all went back to their own conversations and when someone stood next to him, he already knew who it was. “Did you know sea lions can hold their breath for twenty minutes.”

“Way longer than me, that’s for sure,” Emilio smiled.

“You can’t swim.” They had spent years trying to teach him but it didn’t seem to be working. Maybe they needed to try harder. Just throw him in or something.

“Exactly!”

“Lunch or gift shop first?” tetíncho Yulian called to everyone. “I’m freakin’ starving.”

“You and me both,” Ivet muttered. “I could eat this whole sea lion. Probably all of them.”

Joseph gave a small laugh and said “They’re endangered, don’t do that.”

“I’m endangered when I’m hungry.”

“Stupid,” Linda snorted with humor.

“Lunch it is then before Ivet eats everyone,” tetíncho Yulian laughed. “Although I can almost guarantee that most of us don’t taste that great.”

His father rolled his eyes and muttered “Hey, speak for yourself.”

About to follow everyone out of the exhibit, his father waited for him by the door. They followed a little ways behind the group and Joseph waited for the older man to speak. “When I say no, it means no. Don’t argue with it next time, especially in front of people.”

“’Kay,” Joseph whispered.

Sighing, his father said “Joseph, you know I’d take you without a second thought. But it’s across this freaking huge ass park, brat. I’m fucking exhausted. Aren’t you?”

“Yes but it’s a camel ride. I’ve never ridden a camel or even touched one.” He’d fight through years of exhaustion for something he’s never gotten to do before.

“Next time.”

“Yeah.”

His father pushed him to the side with a shove to his shoulder. “C’mon, stop being so fucking depressing.”

“Sorry.”

“C’mon, Joseph,” he shoved him again. “C’mon.”

Huffing and rubbing his arm, he huffed “I’m fine.”

“No you’re not.” Poking him, his father said “Smile, child.”

“Stop,” Joseph complained, trying to shoo away his father’s sharp fingers. “I’m good.”

“No you fucking ain’t. Smile or I’m gonna do something drastic.”

What could he possibly do that was drastic? Might as well find out. “Nope.” A startled yelp escaped him when suddenly he was literally slung upside down by his legs from his father’s shoulder. “Hey!” he couldn’t help but laugh as he hung from his father’s back.

“I warned you. Try not to die until we get to the sustenance area.”

Laughing despite the difficulty, Joseph replied “Sustenance area?”

“You know, where they put the food and stuff.”

“You’ve never ever called it that. What even?”

He could feel the laugh vibrating through his father’s body as they caught up with everyone. “I am a man filled with much vocabulary and phrases. Very wise, I am.”

“I mean if that’s what you want to call your idiocy,” tetíncho snorted as he walked beside Anka who was pushing her sleeping sister. He used finger quotes, “Wise.”

With a laugh as he placed Joseph back on the floor, his father poked fun at his favorite frat dude. “Aw, Chase, you sound jealous.”

“Generic white boy name. Wow, so original Mr. Wise who also happens to be a white boy.” Tetíncho rolled his eyes and added “Even I know you can do better than that.”

“Freakin’ white boys,” Mr. Vidal snorted with a shake of his head.

“Shut it,” his father smirked, “Or I’m gonna pull out my Hispanic insults on you.”

With a smirk of his own, Mr. Vidal replied “You do and your mouth will not be working for a very long time, puñeta.” Abuela laughed while Emilio tried to choke his down. He got a slap on the back of his head a second later from Mr. Vidal causing his friend to yelp. “Why do you know what that means?”

“Do tell what I was just called ‘cuz I ain’t got no clue…” his father trailed. “I know Spanish but…”

Rubbing his head, Emilio replied “It’s not my fault! Maria uses it when she talks about her ex!”

“Good word choice,” abuela nodded. She looked to Joseph’s father and said “It is not for children’s ears. Suffer in your ignorance.”

“Yeah, suffer in your ignorance, ruska putka,” tetíncho snorted after his gup from the water bottle. “Suffer and stew.”

Mrs. Simeonov’s jaw was practically to the floor from whatever his tetíncho had said. Joseph had no clue; insults in his mother language were something he wasn’t allowed to know. All he knew was that one word meant Russian. “Yulian, there are kids.”

Shrugging, he replied “The kids don’t know what I said, Mrs. Simeonov. You needn’t worry.”

Lost in thought, his father said “If I wasn’t so hung up on what the hell Raul just called me, I’d come back at you for that.” Waving a hand at his brother-in-law, he added “Later, pederast.”

Joseph would have to look that up too.

 

 

They had been talking about random cities and countries when the question came up. “Hey, Mr. Kavinsky,” Linda asked as she sat beside Ivet, eating her lunch.

Taking a bite of his burger, he replied “Yup.”

“How come you never visit Bulgaria? Don’t you miss home?”

His father froze with his cup almost to his mouth as Mr. Vidal chastised his daughter’s curiosity. Joseph knew his father had to flee but he was never allowed actual details. He’d love to hear the answer why he never had the chance to go visit his homeland. It was somewhere Joseph had dreams of seeing.

Emilio had tried this question before but hadn’t gotten much. Maybe Linda would be different.

After a minute and placing his cup back on the table, his father said “I miss home. A lot.”

“Ivo, you don’t have to answer,” Mr. Vidal reminded.

Taking off his hat and airing his hair, he bit his lip in thought. “I don’t think I can go back. Like legally, sure, I can. Although, the Bureau will have tons of red flags going if Lord Kavinsky travels to Bulgaria.”

“Tons would be such an understatement,” tetíncho jumped in while putting a bite of food into Albena’s mouth. “It’d be like billions.”

Emilio raised a brow, “If you can go legally then why don’t you?”

“My uncle,” his father murmured after a minute. Joseph interest piqued even more at the mention of possible family on his father’s side. “My uncle is the problem.”

He could tell Mr. Vidal was dying from his curiosity but his mouth stayed closed. Joseph decided to take over, “Like dyádo Yosef’s brother or bába Emiliya’s?” He prayed and prayed his father wouldn’t shut down right now.

The hat was placed back on his head. “Dyádo’s.” His face took a nasty black look. “Damyan,” his father spit with venom as stood up abruptly. “Excuse me,” he muttered as he walked off. He always seemed to prefer taking his thoughts and anger somewhere where he could be alone.

Narrowing his eyes at his tetíncho, Joseph asked “You got anything else?”

With a shake of his head, his uncle replied “That’s all I’ve been told. And the coup. You’re smart; you’ll put it together.”

“Coup?” Emilio asked, “Like overthrow sort of thing?” Tetíncho Yulian nodded. Turning to Joseph, Emilio asked “Wasn’t your grandfather the head over in Bulgaria?”

“Yeah so…” he thought for a minute before thinking aloud, “Damyan is dyádo’s brother…brother overthrew brother? And they do bloodline heirs there meaning…” His father had to flee because he was heir. How many books had he read where when a coup was attempted all heirs had to be removed?

His great uncle had tried removing everyone.

“Damyan needed to clean house. After dyádo would have come tatko and then chícho after him.”

Ivet was also thinking along with him. “So he needs to take out the bloodline. He took out your dyádo but maybe wasn’t fast enough for my lord? Or something like that because your dad was fast enough to get out before they killed him.”

Mr. Vidal knew something they didn’t from the look on his face but he wasn’t sharing whatever it was. All he said was “They caught up in Greece.”

 _Greece…chícho…_ “Greece is where chícho died.”

“And where your father got him and your bába smuggled out of Europe,” tetíncho added. “You have your outline, just no details.”

“I don’t really like the outline,” Linda muttered, “Shoulda kept my mouth shut.”

“Lessons,” abuela replied after managing to get a bite past Alondra’s locked mouth. The little girl didn’t look happy but she kept the food in.

“His mother was quite the woman,” Mrs. Simeonov murmured, finally joining the conversation. “Very, very strong woman. I have the utmost respect for her.”

“I don’t remember her at all,” Joseph shook his head sadly. “I was…”

“Almost four months,” his father sighed as he sat back down with them, the black look having disappeared to one of nostalgia. “Andrey a year and a halfish.”

“Don’t remember either,” Andrey mumbled around the last bite of his sandwich. “Did she make fun of my ears like everyone else?” Everyone at the table laughed, the mood turning up from the sadness it had been parked at.

“No,” his father snorted. “I said you have huge ass ears and then she slapped me and said some pretty girl will appreciate them when he’s older because he’ll be the best sort of listener.”

Looking thoughtful, Ivet murmured “He’s not too bad at listening actually.” His cousin tried to hide his hopeful face by looking away.

“So I’ve got a fantabulous idea,” Emilio interrupted with a change of subject.

“Fully fantabulous or just partially?” Anka asked with amusement.

“Double decker fantabulizism.”

“Where do you even come up with words like those?” Joseph laughed.

With a huge grin, Emilio responded in a horrible mocking Bulgarian accent “I am a man filled with much vocabulary and phrases. Very wise, I am.”

His father started to choke on his drink, his face red from his coughs. Tetíncho reached over and slammed him on the back a few times and in a voice of mock concern asked “Okay, dear?”

“Ebi se v guza,” his father choked out. Tetíncho Yulian responded with a laugh and a few more ‘pats’ on the back. Shoving away the arm, his father cleared his throat and muttered “I hate all of you.”

“Except me, of course,” Joseph smiled. “I’m too awesome to be the subject of anyone’s hate.”

Trademark eye roll. “Yes, of course.”

“Anyways,” Emilio began, “My idea is actually one me and Joseph thought of a while back. We think we should all do a vacation. Like using an airplane to get there.”

His father’s face filled with consideration. “I’ve never been in an airplane.”

“I hate them,” Mr. Vidal muttered, “Cramped and just exhausting.”

“It could be fun!” Joseph encouraged. “We should go somewhere cool like…” He trailed off in thought, trying to think of somewhere good.

“Los Angeles!” Anka exclaimed, filling in the blank. “Somewhere in California!”

“I ain’t going to no La La Land,” his father disdained. “California, she says.”

“Puerto Rico,” Linda laughed, “Pay for me to go see my home, Mr. Kavinsky.”

Tetíncho seemed to like that idea. “I’d love to go to Puerto Rico. It looks beautiful. Plus, their rum is supposed to be the best.” Mrs. Simeonov’s eyes flashed at the mention of alcohol.

Smiling with memories flashing in his eyes, Mr. Vidal said “It’s both beautiful and has the best damn rum. I can’t drink rum here, it’s nothing compared to there.”

“If we can’t go there,” Andrey cut in, “How about Miami? That’d be cool.”

The thoughtful look was still on his father’s face as he murmured “Vacation…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> QUESTION/SUGGESTION TIME
> 
> Anywhere in the U.S (including territories and stuff), name a city/place that they should visit. The vacation is guaranteed and while I have an idea of where I'm sending them, I'd like to see what you guys think and I might go with that. Let's hear it  
> DON'T BE SHY
> 
>  
> 
> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')


	119. Chapter 118

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> I totally thought giving the option of vacation places would get y'all talking (thank you to Hatty and Goldfish) but...I guess not?  
> *sigh*
> 
> Anyways, I had set the date of this story finishing on Sept 3 but I realize that I'm not going to make my date. I can't type fast enough and gang war ended with a lot more chpts than I had originally planned. Which takes me to the next point of being worried that y'all won't like how I wrote that arc... It was pretty hard because there are so much players and it bounces a lot from pov to pov because I wanted to touch in with different ppl. And then there was factoring in Joseph because he's obvs a child and how does a child fit into a gang war... Sooo...there is Joseph pov but not a whole lot which is what worries me? Maybe you guys wont like that?  
> I love how it came out but I just don't know if you guys will which is why I'm worried. Guess we'll find out in a couple weeks...
> 
> Done with the worrying, we move on! To today. Enjoy some angry Yulian
> 
> _“I think we’re fucked.”_

He couldn’t help himself. Where did everyone think his son had gotten his unending curiosity? From him of course. The only thing was that he did it in a quiet way. Because of his inquisitiveness, he had invited himself and his kids to Yulian’s house. His mother too, of course.

Because why not?

Raul really wanted to see how the whole ‘disowning’ and ‘my house isn’t a hotel’ thing was going to go down. Was it nosy? Yeah, kind of.

But what the hell.

Friends got to be nosy once in a while.

“Tadaaaa!” Alondra shouted while holding up the bear Ivo had bought her as they walked into the house. Raul had tried to pay for his kids’ stuff from the gift shop himself but Ivo ended up winning. It was stupid really; Joseph had distracted him by striking up conversation while Ivo went to his kids, grabbed their things, and payed for them.

Father and son had played him.

Those bastards.

Vesela held out her hands from where she sat on one of the couches. “Lemme see.”

Alondra ran over excitedly, handing Vesela the grizzly. “Joseph said it’s a grizzly bear.”

The boy mentioned, along with Emilio, walked over to the couches and threw themselves onto the carpet. “I’m dead. Don’t ask me to do nothing.”

“Me either,” Emilio yawned while closing his eyes. “I think I’ll just sleep here on the floor.” Raul wanted to agree; he was exhausted and his feet ached. The zoo was huge.

Everyone settled themselves either on the floor or the couches. Ms. Mateev and Nikol were also sitting along with Vesela. Baby Timotei they had missed by about ten minutes as he was put down for some rest.

Mr. Simeonov came down the stairs, smiling a greeting to the exhausted party. “How was it?”

Not sure what exactly they were supposed to mention, they stayed silent to the confusion of those who hadn’t gone. Mrs. Simeonov finally spoke up, filling the silence. “It was very lovely. Quite large; I’m glad I wore my walking shoes. Definitely required for such a huge zoo.”

Yulian walked in from the garage where he had been putting Albena’s stroller away. Eyes catching on his mother sitting, he said “Why are you sitting?”

This was going to be interesting.

Nikol looked confused as she pulled Albena and her own new plush into her lap. The formerly youngest Simeonov picked a penguin. “Is she supposed to be doing something?” It was said with a touch of humor, making it a joke.

Walking over while nodding, her husband replied “Yes, yes, she is. She’s-”

“Let it go, Yulian,” Raul’s mother interrupted. She had ridden back with the blonde to try and speak to him. She and Yulian got along well and his mother was very good at breaking down problems. Maybe she hadn’t been able to get through on this one. It had taken a few months for Raul to learn and came as a surprise when he realized that Yulian was as stubborn as Ivo. Maybe even more depending on the situation.

“No,” he retorted with anger flashing, “Isn’t this what she wanted? Then she gets to have it.” Both Nikol and Vesela were staring at him like he was crazy. Mr. Simeonov had come and sat beside his wife, trying to understand the situation. Pointing at his mother, Yulian said “Start packing. You’re not staying here.”

Now Nikol was really lost as she looked between mother and son. Her father-in-law was doing the same but a touch of anger was tinging his eyes. “Where is your respect? Watch your tone; this is your mother, not-”

“She’s not my mother,” Yulian interrupted with a hiss, looking angrier than Raul had ever seen him. “I’m whatever the hell I am, not her son. Because of that-”

“Stop,” Mr. Simeonov said firmly with a raised hand and calm demeanor. “Stop, calm down, and then speak. Explain it to me.”

The mobster’s hand clenched tight into a fist as he ground out “I am calm. But the longer she stays in _my house_ the sooner that I won’t be anymore. I don’t want her here.”

“Stop speaking about me as if I am not sitting or that I’m a child,” Mrs. Simeonov cut in, her voice smooth to the rough anger of her son. “And as I said before, I am staying with my grandchildren which I have every right to do.”

“They’re not your grandkids!” Yulian blew from where he stood behind the couch Nikol occupied. “If I’m not your FUCKING SON then they’re not yours! Now just get the FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE!”

The kids’ eyes were wide as the stared at who seemed like a stranger to them. Surprisingly, Joseph just seemed incredibly interested rather than shocked by the yelling. Ivo’s face was simply blank as he watched the exchange while Vesela and Nikol stared with a mixture of confusion and surprise in their looks. Like Joseph, both his mother and Ms. Mateev watched carefully in interest.

With fury flashing, Mr. Simeonov rose to his feet and hissed “Your language and your shouting need to stop. You have absolutely no right to speak to your moth-”

“SHE’S NOT MY FUCKING MOTHER!” Pointing at Mrs. Simeonov, Yulian snarled “She doesn’t want me so why the fuck would I want her? I refuse to put up with this shit all over again.” Raul’s guess was that the first time must have been around when Yulian had to join up.

“Okay,” Nikol sighed, finally understanding the situation, as she stood after handing Albena to her sister. She softly grabbed her husband’s tense arms and whispered something Raul didn’t catch. It probably wasn’t in English anyways. The anger remained as he ground his jaw, listening to her words. Nikol was trying to tug him away and finally after much reluctance, Yulian let her pull him to one of the rooms, the door shutting behind them.

After a minute of silence, Ivo laughed “I always love when he yells. It’s so awesome.”

Yulian’s father turned a look of disgust to Ivo as he sat back down. “Yelling is for people who cannot express themselves in a mature nature and with words.”

“Pft,” Ivo blew with a roll of his eyes. “Yelling is for when you’re so incredibly fucking pissed and hurt and angry when no one will understand or listen and the only way to reach them is by being loud.” Raul happened to like that analyzation; it was good.

“So…” Vesela started, “For those of us who didn’t go…what the hell?”

“Nothing,” Mrs. Simeonov answered although Raul had to incredibly disagree. “It will be worked out between family.”

With brows raised, Vesela pointed out “He’s my sister’s husband and the father of my nephews and nieces. He’s part of my family.”

“If he had not married your sister then his life wouldn’t be the horrid thing it is,” she replied with venom. “My son would have a life beyond being a disgusting mobster.”

He didn’t know if she forgot that her grandkids were sitting or not but that was something they definitely should not have to hear. Raul was just about ready to cut in and stop the shit show when Ivo beat him to it. “If you think that whether he’s a mobster or not is decided by who he married then you’re incredibly wrong. He could’ve married the fucking princess of England and it wouldn’t have made a difference.”

“There’s no princess of England,” Joseph whispered while staring down at his hands. He must have felt Ivo’s stare on him but the boy simply ignored.

Turning back to Yulian’s parents, Ivo explained “There is no ‘out.’ It doesn’t exist. Especially for someone who didn’t come in by choice.”

“His debt is plenty paid by now,” Mrs. Simeonov noted, seemingly frustrated. “Years ago. More than enough has been done.”

“There is no out,” Ivo repeated in a calm relaxed tone. “Not for anyone. Especially for Yulian. His debt is not only money, it’s a debt of life. Those don’t ever end. You’re upset your son is a mobster, I get it, but it’s his life. Whether he married Nikol or not, this would be his life. There’s no changing it and there never will be. Just God fucking accept it already. Disowning him will never make a difference. But know that if you walk out of that door today without fixing this shit? He’ll never talk to you again. He won’t bother.”

“Because you think you know my son better than me?”

Rolling his eyes as he leaned into the chair he was sitting in, Ivo replied “I know your son as well as I know myself. I know him better than you ever will. I spend twenty-four seven with that man, Mila; if I didn’t know him then that’d just be sad. No one holds grudges better than him except maybe Anka.”

Laughing, Anka snorted “Thanks tetíncho.”

“Hey, hey,” Ivet jumped in, “I can hold grudges too.”

“Don’t I know it,” Ivo muttered. Looking to Raul, he asked “Do you wanna stay for dinner? The show you came for has now finished for the time being.”

“No clue what you’re talking about,” he muttered in reply to which Ivo snorted in disbelief. “And can you just invite me to a home that isn’t yours?”

“Of course,” Ivo laughed. “They won’t mind. We’ll just order in or something. I’m too tired to drive home.”

With his own laugh, Andrey pointed out “Tetíncho, you live like five minutes away. And driving is not exhausting, you’re sitting the whole time. How hard can it be?”

“It’s more than sitting,” Joseph interrupted in his own tired voice. “You gotta focus and pay attention and your foot gets tired from stressing on the pedals and-”

“You don’t even drive yet,” Linda teased, “What do you even know about it?”

“I don’t drive but I know how and what it takes.” Looking to his father, Joseph asked “When are you gonna teach me? Soon right?”

“In a hypothetical situation, I’m putting you behind the wheel at fourteen.”

“Yes!”

“Excuse you?” Raul said with his brows raised. “I hope I heard wrong.”

Rolling his eyes, Ivo replied “I said in a hypothetical situation, Raul. Relax.”

“Ivo, you and I know that when the word ‘hypothetical’ or ‘alleged’ comes up, it’s because you’re covering for actual things. That way if I were to arrest you for them, you have plausible deniability.” Ivo just smirked because he knew what Raul said was true.

“Mr. Kavinsky?” Emilio piped in, “I still get my car, right?”

“Your car?” Raul asked curiously.

“I promised you,” Ivo replied. “I don’t break my promises.”

“Your car?” he tried again.

Emilio smiled and answered “When Mr. Kavinsky bought Venc his car, he promised me one when I hit eighteen.” Turning back to Ivo, he added “I want a Mustang, okay?”

“Done.”

Something in him was completely opposed to the idea. Sure it was cool and awesome and whatever but an entire car? That was twenty thousand at least. And knowing Ivo, he’d spring for extra fancy. Raul would make it an issue when the time came; Emilio still had a good five years for that anyways.

“Awesome!” Emilio exclaimed in excitement. “I’d say you’re the best but there’s two problems. The first is that, obviously, my dad takes that title-” Raul couldn’t help the laugh that escaped from him. “Aaand,” Emilio continued with a huge grin, “You’d just say ‘duh’ and I’d inflate your ginormous ego more.”

“We try our best not to do that,” Joseph laughed, “It’s bad for you.”

They all looked to the room Nikol and Yulian had disappeared into when the door opened. Only Nikol came out though, shutting the door behind herself. Coming to where they sat in the living room, she leaned on the couch that Vesela and Ms. Mateev sat upon and sighed before she notified “So, you’re more than welcome to stay if you’d still like to.”

“But?” Mrs. Simeonov said with a tone that was tinged with a touch of annoyance. It reminded Raul of the way his father would talk to him when they actually still talked. “What is the requirement of such an arrangement?”

“You don’t talk to Yulian. His exact words were ‘fucking fine but if the bitch tries to speak to me, she’s out the door in seconds whether she has her shit or not.’”

“Damn,” Ivo snorted while his eyes glistened with amusement. “I love when he gets mean too.”

Yulian’s mother’s face was blank but Raul swore he saw a glisten of pain in her eyes. She didn’t speak, simply rose and made her way to and up the stairs. The father huffed and asked “Am I also not to speak to him?”

“No mention of you,” Nikol shrugged, “Unless, of course, you plan on going in there and yelling at him or criticizing. Then he’ll probably write you out too. He’s pissed and I don’t blame him.”

“I don’t either,” Raul muttered despite it not being his conversation, “Nothing’s worse than when a parent writes you off like your nothing.”

“Or when they dump you like garbage,” Ivet added with angry arms crossed. “They didn’t even have a chance to know if I was annoying or not.”

“You do not need them,” his mother chimed in from her silence. “It doesn’t matter how annoying you are, they have no right to leave like they did.”

“If I were to ever see my son again, I’d beat him,” Ms. Mateev swore. Raul had always wondered if she faked not knowing English and had found his answer a year ago when she struck up conversation with him at some random moment. He figured the only reason she was speaking English now was for his family’s benefit. “I’d beat him so bad, he wouldn’t even know who he was.”

Ivet looked excited by the prospect. “Do I get to hit him with you, bába?”

“Of course!”

 

 

Throwing his paper plate into the trash, Raul went to the bathroom to wash his hands from the pizza grease. Nothing was better than Jersey pizza. Maybe some places in New York but that was it.

There was an extremely tentative peace in the house. Mrs. Simeonov kept throwing glances to Yulian like she wanted to say something but she kept her silence, the fear of being thrown out hanging over her head. Yulian literally acted like she didn’t exist.

He was good at this.

Ivo was in the bathroom washing his hands as Raul walked in. “Share the sink.”

“Or just wait,” his friend replied as he slowed down the process to annoy Raul.

“You ever look for them?”

Ivo blinked at him in confusion. “Who?”

“Ivet and Venc’s parents.” It was something Raul always wanted to do but wouldn’t unless he had permission. It wasn’t his place.

“Ah,” the mobster snorted while still painstakingly washing his hands. “Milan and Sofia Mateev. I’ve looked them up. I have an address too.”

His eyes went wide in shock. “What the hell do you mean ‘I have an address?’ You have an address and Ivet doesn’t know? Bába doesn’t know? Are you crazy?” Those two women could murder and not care.

Still not finishing his stupid hands, Ivo sighed “I only found it a few years ago. I had first looked when I first met Venc and then I never told anyone to stop looking. So when I got an address a few years ago, I was surprised because I had completely forgot that they were still checking them out.”

“Okay…and they don’t know because…”

“Venc knew. I told him and even gave him the address. I told him it was up to him what he wanted to do and who to tell. He took the paper, ripped it up, and threw it away. I never brought it up after that.”

“You need to tell them Ivo. That way they can make their own choice like Vencislav did.”

Sighing and finally finishing, Ivo muttered while drying his hands “I’m worried to. What if they want them and not me?”

He stared at him through the mirror in surprise as he scrubbed his hands. “Do you actually believe that? Ivo, they’d never do that. Even if they maybe want to do a relationship with them, they’d never dump you guys. Ever.”

Looking like he was mulling over the answer, Ivo finally replied “I guess…” He shook his head, “Anyways they moved so I’ve got nothing to give.”

“Don’t hold it back from them,” he replied, shutting off the faucet. “They won’t forgive you for that.”

Leaning against the wall and sighing, the Bulgarian said “I don’t have the new address-”

“You can get it in two seconds. Get it. Give it.”

“Fine…” There was a thought still in Ivo’s mind but he wasn’t sharing. All he added was “You might bump into them anyways now that they’re back in the city.”

“What?” Shock vibrated through him. _Bump into them?_

“Just saying.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')


	120. Chapter 119

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> I watched a video once where these adorable little kids were playing ball and then out of no where, a pit bull comes running and tackles then drags around the tiniest little boy. Luckily, the boy's injuries weren't too bad.
> 
> See you guys Tuesday!
> 
> _"Always there to catch a fall but, damn, is he shit at it.”_

“Why do you always get the lazy ones?” Emilio laughed as he waited for Waddle to catch up.

“Aw, that’s not fair!” Joseph snorted in his own laughter while holding Lyubov’s leash. They were tasked with walking her today and decided Waddle could use the exercise too. “His legs are so tiny compared to Lyubov’s! Twenty steps for the poor thing are like five of hers.”

Emilio paused and waited for the basset hound to catch up, giving him a rub when he did. “Yeah, I guess you got a point. Only Peanut is the lazy bum.”

“Thee laziest,” Joseph agreed as they continued their walk. They had come with his father to the warehouse – dragging Waddle along with them so he could meet some role models – to enjoy some dog style company. His father was back at the warehouse – seeing to some things – and then they were supposed to get lunch afterwards.

Pausing as Lyubov peed on a bush, Emilio whispered “Joseph.”

“What up.”

“There’s a dog over there. And it’s staring at us.”

Joseph focused his gaze on the end of the street. There was what looked to be a pit bull standing between some of the other warehouses on the street. He couldn’t help but wonder if they were for legitimate businesses or not.

Taking his mind back to where it should be, he murmured “That would be a dog.” Like Emilio, he didn’t appreciate the way it was looking at them.

“What are the chances he’s nice?”

Also like Emilio, this was something he was worried about. As an animal lover, Joseph loved them all. But as a smart person, he was cautious around animals that were either wild or weren’t his.

This dog was very much not his.

Lyubov looked between them curiously, wondering why the walk wasn’t being continued, while Waddle took the chance to take a rest. “I’d say kinda slim…and that I don’t want to find out either way.”

“We should go back,” Emilio said quietly. “Just in case and stuff.”

Yeah, Joseph was down with that. The foreign pit was still staring and now his stomach was bubbling with worry. “I don’t know if I’m comfortable with putting it to our backs.”

Picking up Waddle very slowly, Emilio replied “Me neither but unless you have a better idea?”

He definitely didn’t. If they ran, the dog would give chase and there was no way they could out run it. Especially not while Emilio carried stubby Waddle. “Back up slowly maybe?”

“How are you gonna convince Lyubov to back up exactly? Don’t think that’s a command she knows.” It wasn’t and the dog in question was very confused why they were still standing. Glancing around, she caught sight of the pit bull and let out a low growl. The other dog’s ears perked up. “Joseph, tell her to shut up.”

About to do just that, Joseph froze when the dog at the end of the street began to tense. “I think we’re fucked.”

“Bad language but yeah, I’m thinking that too. So…run or…” The fear was starting to drip out of his friend’s voice and man, was Joseph feeling it. “Do you think you can sic Lyubov on it? She’s had like five months of training, she’s gotta know something.

“She probably does but I don’t.” Commanding them wasn’t something Joseph generally did. He had no clue what specific words they were taught. “I mean, I can try guessing stuff but what if it just ends up confusing her?”

“Oh,” Emilio whispered, eyes glued to the pit bull. “Then I guess we can just run. Waddle will slow me down but I ain’t leaving him to be eaten. And, you know, Lyubov can probably give us a few seconds before she gets eaten too.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Joseph whispered back, “But don’t worry, I won’t leave you to be eaten either. Even if I gotta leave Waddle behind.” His friend was way more important than his dog.

No offense to the amazing Waddle.

“Thanks. I won’t leave you either,” Emilio nervously laughed. “Screaming for your dad would be a good idea too.”

“Yeah, yeah it would be. On three?” He dropped Lyubov’s leash to the floor; she had teeth and claws to fight with, she should use them. There were thousands of butterflies in his stomach because someone was going to get hurt today and that scared the crap out of him.

Hopefully it was him and not Emilio.

“Gimme Waddle,” Joseph murmured, holding out his hands. He’d go down for his dog if there was to be any going down.

Emilio clutched the dog closer. “I’m faster than you. This way we’ll be even.”

“Don’t make me curse at you, just give me the stubbster. I’m not gonna let you get hurt because his legs are tiny like mine. Give me.”

“Not a chance. One, two…” His body was tense to start running from the slowly advancing dog. Lyubov was also tensed up, ready to play defense.

Being that it was obvious Emilio wasn’t going to give in, Joseph braced himself to run too. “Three.”

And they broke off into a run, back in the direction they had come. There was barking, snarling, and growling coming from behind them. Not to mention a couple yelps he hoped weren’t from Lyubov. He was too afraid to look back to see where the pit was but was relieved that Emilio and Waddle were keeping pace with him. Calling for his father would probably be a good idea right about now.

“Tatko!” he yelled as best he could with whatever breath he had. The snarls had stopped but something told him it wasn’t because Lyubov had won.

They ran like hell was at their heels.

  

* * *

 

“My lord!” Some guard called. Ivo didn’t pay too much mind. They’d come to him if it was important. He needed to sort through some of the paperwork before a shipment tomorrow. Boring ass shit that he hated but it had to get done.

He had brought Joseph and Emilio along with the promise of dogs and lunch. Even Waddle joined them. The basset had surprisingly gotten along well with the other dogs. Ivo had been worried he’d have to save the poor thing from being mauled.

He froze when he swore he heard Joseph’s voice. Maybe a scream too. He glanced to the opening of the warehouse as a guard came running and then he heard it again.

“TATKO!”

“My lord! Your son!”

His son? Ivo’s heart stopped for a second before his brain forced him into action as he took off running, out the warehouse and the gates.

There had been fear in his child’s voice.

And as he stared down the street, he understood why as fear filed him as well. Reaching back to pull out his gun, Ivo realized with a panic that he didn’t have it on him. The guard came up beside him holding out a pistol, knowing what Ivo was going for. Cocking it, he shouted “JOSEPH, MOVE!”

Joseph jumped back from where he was trying to get some dog to let go of Emilio’s leg and in milliseconds, Ivo fired off three shots into the animal. Thank God for his good aim.

The dog yelped the first time but was silent as it dropped from the other bullets. Ivo ran over as Joseph shoved the dead beast off his friend. He wanted to calm the tears streaming down Joseph’s face but he had bigger worries right now as he slid down onto the sidewalk – despite that he was wearing shorts – beside the injured child. “Emilio.”

Face down and covering his head with body shaking, the boy didn’t answer but Ivo wasn’t going to sit here like an idiot and wait for one while the poor thing’s back and legs were bleeding. Stripping off his shirt, Ivo tried his best to tie the worst of Emilio’s wounds on one of his legs. Pulling him into his arms, Ivo stood and gave the best comfort he could to the crying child as he rushed back to the warehouse with Joseph behind him. He had no idea what happened to Lyubov and Waddle but that was the least of his worries right now.

“My keys!” Ivo yelled to one of the guards who rushed off in record time. Carefully lying Emilio down in the back seat with his head pillowed in Joseph’s lap, Ivo kissed his forehead and whispered “I’m taking you to a hospital, no worries, okay? No one drives as fast as I do.” Emilio simply hiccupped on his tears as he wrapped his arms around Joseph’s waist and cried into his stomach. His son responded with a careful hug around his friend’s upper body, murmuring soothing words.

Yanking the keys from the guard, Ivo jumped into the front seat and was already backing out before he had even shut the door. He took off, tires screeching on the asphalt.

  

* * *

 

Blinking slowly, Emilio stared confusedly at a room he didn’t recognize. Where was he? Everything in his brain was incredibly jumbled, memories mixing together.

_“What happened?” his mother said in a panicked voice. That was right, she had a shift today. She had been able to grab it last minute because one of the E.R. nurses didn’t show._

_He was in someone’s arms but through the haze of pain, Emilio couldn’t figure out who it was until the person spoke in an accent he knew. He wasn’t used to the sound of panic in it though. “Dog. Ten minutes tops. Got here as fast as I could.”_

_Dog._

_That was right._

“Emilio,” came a soft whisper. “Emilio, you awake?”

Blinking some more to just get his sight working right, he focused on the voice while realizing he was in a hospital room.

Not as a visitor though.

As a patient.

His body realized that he was awake and the pain came flooding in at a horrible rush. Sucking in a pained breath, he turned his head slowly and blinked at the worried boy beside him. “I hurt.” He hurt a lot.

Getting out of his chair and carefully sitting on the edge of the bed, Joseph whispered “I’d push the medicine button for you but the nurse said only adults can touch it.”

The nurse? So it wasn’t his mother then. “My mom,” he slurred. His voice didn’t seem up to cooperating at the moment.

“Trying to pull strings to be your nurse. Seems she’s kinda used up the favors she had saved up. But she’s here in the hospital, don’t worry. Your dad’s on his way, just so you know.” Joseph’s face looked so horribly worried, “Besides the obvious hurt, are you okay? Even just a little?”

“I never want to see another dog again, I don’t care what kind it is.” Just saying the word ‘dog’ made his heart jump. “Never ever.”

Leaning over Emilio, Joseph very carefully hugged him close. Emilio kind of wished Joseph would throw in a kiss or something. That’d definitely cheer him up. “Never ever,” Joseph whispered. “Don’t even think about ‘em. Think about other things like how gross and sweaty I smell. That’ll definitely distract you.”

Letting out a pain laugh as he hugged tighter, Emilio replied “I can do that.” He blinked some more and realized that it was only them in the room. “Where’s your dad?” Just leaving wasn’t something Emilio expected of Mr. Kavinsky.

Unlatching from their embrace but staying on the bed, Joseph bit his lip and murmured “Sitting outside.”

That made no sense. “Why doesn’t he come in?”

“He...I think he feels guilty or something.”

Also something that didn’t make sense. “Why? It’s not like it was one of…one of your guys’…” _Dogs._

Joseph shrugged and said “Don’t know. We haven’t talked much so I’m assuming that’s why he’s outside. Maybe I’m wrong. I was too worried about you to do much talking before. But…you’re looking much better than before.”

His heart couldn’t help but flutter a little from Joseph’s concern. “Think so?” He had no clue how he looked; what he knew was how bad he was hurting though. “Um, so diagnosis?”

“Nurse said I can’t say nothing. That’s for adults to do too.”

Rolling his eyes, Emilio muttered “I don’t know if I like my nurse.” They both turned to look at the door when there was a quick knock and it was opened in seconds by his very worried looking father. Emilio felt a thousand times better just seeing the man who rushed to the bed and pulled him into a hug. “Hi.”

Rubbing his hair and pressing kisses to Emilio’s head, his father whispered “Hola, mijo.” He kissed him again then leaned back to look at Emilio’s face. “Okay?”

“Alive,” he half-heartedly laughed. “Joseph said the nurse told him only adults can push the medicine button. Can you push it, please?”

“Of course,” his father murmured as he leaned over Emilio to the other side of the bed and gave the painkiller button a push. Pressing yet another kiss to his forehead, his father asked “Anything besides for hurting? Need anything?”

Looking at the bandages on his arms and thinking about the ones on his legs and back, Emilio replied “Um, a ‘how bad’ would be nice. Some water too and telling Mr. Kavinsky to get his butt in here and stop feeling guilty.”

A small smile grew on his dad’s face as he stood and put Emilio some water. “The ‘how bad’ part, we’ll wait for mama but I can drag the mobster in if you’d like.”

“Yes please,” Emilio smiled after a gulp of water; his throat felt horribly dry. “That’d be nice.”

  

* * *

 

Sitting himself down on the horribly uncomfortable bench beside his unlikely friend, Raul sighed heavily just to be annoying. When Ivo didn’t budge from his sprawled position, Raul sighed again. He let out yet another sigh when the other man simply continued to stare up at the ceiling of the hospital.

Raul had eventually found Ivo sitting in some empty room a little ways off from Emilio’s room. He hadn’t acknowledged Raul as he walked in but it was obvious he knew he was here.

Especially after all the sighing.

“Siiigghhhh…” Raul drawled as he stared at Ivo’s profile. A small smile was growing on the Bulgarian’s face. “Sigh.”

“I swear if you do that again, I will hit you.”

“Assaulting an officer? Not the smartest thing you’ve ever done.”

Ivo was silent as the smile slid off his face. Raul was about to break the silence when Ivo murmured “I’m sorry.”

He knew what he was apologizing for but Raul played dumb. “For threatening me? Thank you.”

Sighing himself, his companion whispered “For Emilio, you idiot.”

“I know, although, I don’t know why you’re apologizing. There’s nothing to apologize for.”

This managed to get Ivo to look at him as he turned his head which still rested on the back of the bench. “He got hurt on my watch. He’s in a hospital on my watch. That sounds like my fault. For fuck’s sake, he was almost mauled by a dog. How is it not my fault?”

 _Thank you God for not letting be worse than it is._ “Was it yours?” He already knew it wasn’t.

“Well, no but-”

Raising his hand to interrupt Ivo, Raul explained “It wasn’t your dog and you saved him. And yet you want me to blame you. How does that make any sense?”

“Because it happened when he was with me. You expect me to keep your kid safe when he’s with me just like I expect the same of you. I didn’t keep him safe.”

“Things happen, Ivo. You could not have accounted for some stray to show up. The minute you knew they were in trouble, you protected them. You did what you could in those circumstances which is what saved my son. Thank you.”

Turning back to the ceiling while shaking his head, he replied “I still can’t help but feel guilty. Rationally, yeah, I know it wasn’t my fault but…Jesus, I’m fucking sorry.”

“You saved his life. That’s all I see; no fault. I just hope that gun was legal or things are going to get very complicated.”

Sinking deeper into the chair, Ivo said “All the guards have a legal pistol in their names. All the paperwork to prove it too. That way should shit happen, we generally have some ground to stand on. Hypothetically, I didn’t shoot the dog, Michael did as it was his gun that was used.”

Raul nodded at this explanation. He knew exactly what it meant – the gun had already been wiped clean and the guard would make sure only his prints were on the piece. Stories would be corroborated and should the police want to ask Joseph any questions, he’d say he was busy with the dog and that he didn’t know who fired the gun.

And he was fine with that. Ivo had saved his child; Raul wasn’t going to throw his ass in prison for it.

He’d eventually find something else to do it with.

“Good to know. Anyway, get your sorry ass up because you’re bugging Emilio and right now and probably for the next month, I’m spoiling that boy with whatever he wants. So get up.”

Small smile resting on his face, Ivo replied “I’m not there to be bugging him.”

“And that there is what’s bothering him,” Raul notified, “So let’s go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')


	121. Chapter 120

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> Can you believe school is two weeks away? (For me anyways, idk about y'all)
> 
> So we're starting to kind of set the stage for our next (really) huge arc which is the gang war which'll start on Sunday. Hopefully you guys will end up liking it. It's more of a 'past catching up w/you' with kidnappings, torture, explosions, and mutilated people. There's our 'good guys' (Ivo's ppl obvs), a certain German dude makes an appearance, a very happy Irish dude who likes to blow up stuff (this guy is lotsa fun; I'm gonna need to find more places to put him in), a specific Puerto Rican gang, some Italians, and the head honcho bastard who started all this who's been named exactly once in the story. I think I've given enough hints for you to guess who. There's also bonus cops; some good, some not so good.
> 
> Did I sell that well? I hope so. There's also some dream stuff included like dead squirrels if that makes anyone happy.
> 
> Enjoy today's hospital time, the woes of puberty, and Raul and his hunches
> 
> _“Work with me you fucking stubbster.”_

“So,” Mrs. Vidal said as she sat by Emilio on the hospital bed, brushing his hair with her fingers, “It could have been way worse.”

Despite that he had practically faced death today, Emilio still wore a smile on his tired and slightly paled face. “Well then, we should count our blessings! I always knew I was lucky.” Joseph couldn’t help but agree. Luck was kind of what kept Emilio alive today.

“I mean if this is what you call lucky,” his father muttered. He had joined them after Mr. Vidal dragged him in but Joseph could still read the guilt in his face.

“It is,” Emilio replied, “Because I’m okay. That’s called lucky.”

With an eyeroll, his father mumbled “You’re too happy for me sometimes.”

Emilio simply laughed as Mrs. Vidal continued “Your arms are just scrapes that were cleaned up-”

“The sidewalk,” his friend nodded. “Such a pain that guy.”

That managed to earn a smile from Joseph’s father along with everyone else as he agreed. “No kidding. Always there to catch a fall but, damn, is he shit at it.”

“That’s a way to look at it,” Mr. Vidal snorted from where he sat on a chair beside the bed.

“Your back is a littering of shallow puncture wounds-”

“That’s why they don’t hurt as much, I guess,” Emilio interrupted once more while nodding. “They kinda just sting.”

Mrs. Vidal kissed the side of her son’s head before adding “The worst is your legs. Specifically, the right one.”

Paling slightly more than he already was and shrinking into his pillow, Emilio whispered “That’s because it kept pulling.”

_Joseph had no clue what was the smartest decision right now. All he knew was that he couldn’t think straight as he froze and stared at the pit bull trying to get a good grasp on Emilio’s leg. Once it had accomplished that while managing a horrible scream from his friend, the dog began dragging._

_What would happen if he hit the dog? Or should he just keep going and get his father? Multi-task maybe? Scream for his father and try to get the dog off?_

_He realized that he was still standing like an idiot doing nothing while his friend was being dragged on the sidewalk._

_Gathering his resolve, Joseph rushed to the dog and tried pushing, pulling, and hitting. He expected the animal to turn on him but it was firmly engrossed in keeping Emilio._

_Not on his watch._

His father also looked uncomfortable with the thought of the dog dragging Emilio on the sidewalk. Joseph forgot that he had seen it happening too. His mind only registered his father when the shouting and gunshots occurred.

Way too loud for his liking.

“But I’m good now!” Emilio quickly piped in, turning suddenly very cheery. “Because there’s no…no…no animal here.”

“Well, that depends on what you classify tatko as,” Joseph joked, trying his best to cheer up his friend. “Because people have called him a lot of things similar to that.”

“Wow, brat, thank you,” his father replied with a hint of amusement in his voice while Emilio and his parents laughed. “I appreciate it, really.”

“I know you do.”

Looking a little better, Emilio looked at his mother and asked “So I’m all stitched up and good to go?”

“While I’m happy you’re eager to get going,” Emilio’s mom laughed, “I have to say no. We didn’t close up the bites and we’re keeping you here for the next couple days to watch for infection.”

“Why aren’t they closed?” Emilio inquired in confusion, “Isn’t that bad?”

“Less chance of infection that way. It won’t look as pretty when it heals but I want to know you’re healed; scars are nothing.”

“They give character,” Joseph added. “You’ll look totally awesome; don’t worry about it.”

His friend hardly looked worried as he grinned huge and replied “What about badass? Will I look totally badass? I think I’d like that.”

“You’re so lucky you’re in a hospital bed,” Mr. Vidal grumbled from the language use. “So lucky.”

“You’d look so completely badass that no one would even think twice about it,” Joseph laughed. “Cooler than anyone at all. Even our dads with all their fancy battle scars.”

“Fancy?” Mr. Vidal laughed while shaking his head. “There is nothing fancy about gunshot or knife wounds.”

“Or, you know, a variety of other things used as weapons,” his father joined in. “Like metal pipes that take out knees and make you ache like an old man for the rest of your life.”

“Glass hurts too.”

“Cars.”

“Elbows and knees.”

“Fists.”

“Chains.”

“Windows.”

They stared at his father. “Windows, tatko?”

“Yeah,” he emphasized, “Crashing through a window hurts like fucking hell. And then slamming onto the cement right after the fucking two story drop hurts even more. So yeah, windows.”

“Oh-kay,” Mrs. Vidal laughed, “I think I’m stopping you two there.”

Emilio’s face took on one of worry as something came to mind. “What happened to Lyubov and Waddle? Are they okay?”

Sighing, his father took a seat in one of the chairs. “Lyubov suffered some serious wounds; guards took her to an emergency clinic. They’re still looking for Waddle though.”

Joseph looked at his father in concern. “They can’t find him? The d- animal,” Joseph corrected quickly for his friend’s benefit, “didn’t get him, so he should be fine.”

_The gateway was so close._

_But not close enough._

_A shriek erupted from Emilio as suddenly the dog tackled him down. His friend practically threw Waddle out of his arms before he slammed into the sidewalk. Joseph stumbled to a halt and watched in horror as the huge dog had Emilio pinned down with his heavy paws. Where Waddle had disappeared to, he had no idea, but that wasn’t his problem right now._

_The ginormous dog was._

Looking sad at having to share the news, his father replied “Nothing yet but they’re still looking. We’re thinking he went and hid because he was afraid. He should turn up, don’t worry too much.”

He couldn’t help but worry. Waddle missing? That wasn’t good. The poor thing had a short life left, he didn’t need to spend it lost and hungry. “Hopefully they’ll find him before dark…”

“I’m sure they’ll find him,” Emilio added helpfully and full of surety. “I mean, how far could he go on those stubby legs of his?”

Giving a small smile, Joseph murmured “Yeah, I guess.”

Come nightfall and there was still no sign of his dog. His father swore that he’d go looking himself tomorrow morning in hopes of cheering him up. They were in Joseph’s room as he got ready for a depressing night worrying about both his best friend and dog when his father put Mr. Cat out on the dresser. Joseph no longer slept with his animals but they were always readily available in his closet if he needed them.

That happened every so often. But not _too_ often.

“In need of cuddling?” Joseph asked as he got under his light sheet. August was just too hot and Joseph sent a thank you to the inventor of air condition.

Snorting as he sat on the bed, his father replied “I took it out for Emilio. I happen to know from personal experience that Lord Hideous really helps in hospital stays.”

“Oh, good idea,” Joseph nodded, “I’ll take him with me toMORrow.” Joseph froze from his voice.

Oh, puberty was such a bitch.

His father was staring at him blankly before erupting into raucous laughter. Joseph wanted to say ‘stop laughing’ but he was too afraid how his stupid voice would come out.

The laughter was loud enough for his mother to pop into the doorway with an amused curious look on her face. “What’d I miss?”

“Nothing,” Joseph quickly said but his voice cracked between the syllables of the word. This only caused his father to laugh harder while his mother’s face turned bright with humor.

“My baby’s growing up!” She exclaimed as she walked over and squished him into a hug. “I was hoping you’d stay little for awhile longer.”

“I’m sick of being little,” he muttered. Luckily, his voice cooperated with him on that sentence. The next couple months were not going to be cool. When Andrey’s voice had begun changing, Joseph had spent the ‘transitional time’ mocking his squeaking cracks.

Now it was his turn. He was going to end up eating his own medicine.

Finally halting his stupid laughs, his father reminded “You’ve been growing, you know. Just two months ago, we bought that shoe and what did you do this morning? Complain that it was tight. I have high hopes in all those prayers we’ve been doing for years.”

Sighing and plopping down onto his pillows, Joseph replied with a stupid crack here and there “You think I’ve actually got a shot at being tall? I feel like Emilio’s gonna beat me in the height department.”

“Fingers crossed he gets Raul’s genes and not Claudia’s.”

“Rude, Ivo,” his mother laughed, “Raul’s not short, anyways. Five-nine is good.”

“Compared to my awesome six-three, I’m gonna have to disagree. I mean, Jesus, Andrey’s only fourteen and he’s almost Raul’s height.”

“He got tetíncho’s genes, that lucky jerk,” Joseph muttered while rolling his eyes.

“Hey, hey, my genes are totally awesome. Maybe you’re just a late bloomer is all.”

“Maybe,” he sighed. His shoes did feel tighter and if his feet were growing then the rest of him had to be too. It just needed to catch up was all.

If it would just hurry up already.

 

* * *

 

Glancing from his computer when he heard his name called, Raul groaned as he realized who it was.

Fucking O’Brien.

“Well, our morning is already screwed,” Savelio muttered from across their desks where she sat at her own.

“Typical,” he griped. He really wasn’t in the mood; Emilio was okay and there were no signs of infection yet but Raul couldn’t help but leave his brain and patience back in the hospital. Definitely none of that patience was available for the asshole making his way over.

“Hello my fellow detectives,” O’Brien smiled. “How’s everyone this fine morning?”

“Good enough,” Savelio replied civil enough. “What’s up?”

Looking to Raul, O’Brien said “First, I wanna say I heard about your kid and I hope he’s doing alright-”

“Thank you,” Raul interrupted, hoping he could stop this line of conversation because he had a feeling he knew where this was going and he didn’t feel like it. “He’s good. Still in the hospital for observation but looking good.”

“That’s good,” the fellow detective nodded, “Very good. I heard that it happened near one of Kavinsky’s warehouses. Shots fired?”

Fantastic. “That’s right. Emilio and his friend were walking dogs and a stray pit gave chase. The dog tackled Emilio and his friend tried to get the dog off-”

“Joseph,” O’Brien cut in. “You mean Joseph Kavinsky, right?”

If there was one thing Ivo hated more than anything, it was when people who had no right mentioned Joseph. Even his own men weren’t allowed besides for Yulian and that was because he was the boy’s uncle. So Raul never went against Ivo’s wishes.

“His friend,” Raul repeated, “Worked on trying to get the dog off while calling out for help.”

“Calling for his father.”

Steadying his annoyance, Raul said once more “Calling out for help in which a guard heard the distress-”

“Vidal, stop messing with me. We both know who he was calling for.”

His partner jumped in with her help. “None of us were there so we don’t know who Emilio’s friend called for. Report says he was calling for anyone.”

Starting to look his own version of annoyed, O’Brien replied “Shots were fired within the vicinity of one of the warehouses of one of the largest criminals in the city. Why the hell are you people acting like it was nothing? It could be a way to actually nail this guy. Get him for something.”

That was obviously something he knew. But if there were to be any arresting of Ivo, Raul would do it himself. It’d look really good on his record too. “Shots were fired by a guard of the warehouse at an aggressive dog that was attacking my son. Doesn’t sound like any nailing is going to occur.”

“The man should get a medal,” Savelio added. “Saving a child’s life is a big deal.”

“It definitely is,” came an approaching voice from across the room. Turning to it, they found their sergeant walking towards them with a woman by his side.

It was normal for a cop to be suspicious of a lot of things. Paranoia wasn’t always a bad thing. Kept you aware and on your toes.

So was he paranoid or what?

Because the woman walking towards them looked very similar to Ivet.

_“You might bump into them anyways…”_

What were the chances?

Their sergeant was a slighter man but nobody ever dared questioning his strength – the man had served seven years in the military. Seen action. And despite his lanky frame, the man’s voice was booming. “Detectives, I’d like to introduce you to ADA Sofia Popov.”

Raul stuck out his hand to the woman who could very possibly be Venc and Ivet’s mother. “Detective Raul Vidal, ma’am. Pleasure to meet you.” Savelio and O’Brien each gave their own introductions.

“The pleasure is mine,” she replied to each with a smile on her face.

“Ms. Popov recently joined the district attorney’s office,” his sergeant began. “She’s assigned to work with gang unit; specifically, those units focused on our Eastern Europeans.”

 _Irony much?_ “Welcome to the city. I hope you’ll enjoy it between the amount of overtime you’re going to have to put in.”

The assistant district attorney laughed. “Thank you. My husband and I actually lived here years ago. We decided that maybe we should do some good in our hometown instead of other cities, so we came back.”

 _Why leave in the first place? Leave your kids behind?_ Granted, he could just be jumping the gun but Raul didn’t think so. His hunches always proved to be good ones.

“You and I will be seeing much of each other,” O’Brien smiled. “My unit is focused on the Bulgarians of the city. They’re very prominent here unlike most places.”

“I’ve read,” she nodded, “They seem to be the major players around this area.”

“Incredibly,” Savelio jumped in, adding her own thoughts. “If you don’t mind, I can’t help but notice that your name is of European descent?”

“Caught me,” Ms. Popov laughed. “Yes, actually. I’m mixed though; Bulgarian and Russian. My husband is full Bulgarian, however. But no worries, we’ve passed all security checks.”

He wondered if Ivet would be upset knowing she was part Russian. Hell, who was he kidding? She’d be so pissed and in denial for the rest of her life. “I’m sure you have,” Raul grinned, showing her that there was no suspicion here. “You probably won’t see much of Savelio and I, though, we’re just regular old homicide.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Vidal,” the annoying Irishman snorted. “As Ivo Kavinsky’s best friend, she’ll be seeing quite a lot of you.”

His sergeant of course knew about this part of his life. He hadn’t been happy but unlike IA and a few other cops, he trusted Raul. All he had said was to not be stupid and know what he was doing. He had a good career and he didn’t need to screw it up.

The ADA, on the other hand, was of course surprised by the news. “That’s quite…unconventional? Detective and mobster?”

“Already started your homework?” Raul asked.

“Just the basics,” she replied, “A list of the heads of the Eastern European groups. I have the advisors as well but haven’t gotten to it yet. How on earth are you friends with him? Why on earth?”

 _Because somehow the asshole is a charmer. He’s annoying, childish, and a pain in the ass. He has an actual human being hidden in there._ “Our sons became friends and then we just sort of did, I guess.”

“I heard about Emilio,” his sergeant cut in, “Stable.”

“Yes,” he replied. Relief always filled him that things hadn’t been worse. “Going home tomorrow or the day after depending on how he’s doing. He can’t wait. Says the hospital is the most boring thing in the world.”

“Having been there,” his sergeant chuckled, “I’m going to have to agree. Send him my well wishes.”

“Of course, thank you.”

His sergeant walked off after telling them all to get along and, with pointed looks at Raul and O’Brien, to behave. Raul had to explain the story of the dog to Ms. Popov after she inquired and then she and, thankfully, O’Brien walked off to go check in with the rest of gang unit. The minute they were gone, Raul jumped back onto his computer.

“What?” Savelio asked as she came over to him, already being able to tell that something was up. She glanced at the name he was typing in and said “Why are you looking her up?”

Waiting for her file to load, Raul replied “Because I need to know if my hunch is right.”

“Typically they are,” his partner murmured as she glanced at the screen. She read the information that came up in a quiet voice, just in case the ADA came back. “Sofia Popov. Formerly Sofia Mateev and married…” his partner trailed off as she realized what she said. “Mateev.”

“Changed back to her maiden name, which her husband Special Agent Milan Popov adopted as well.” No wonder Ivo said they might bump into one another. They were law enforcement.

“What the hell,” she whispered.

“My thoughts exactly. They left their kids, changed their names, and continued on with their lives. Made it high up too.” He was relieved to find that they had no more kids; not that Venc and Ivet were listed anyways. But he didn’t want Ivet to find out she had another sibling who her parents thought was worth their time while she never was.

“Things are about to get interesting, aren’t they?”

Closing down the page and clearing his search, Raul replied “They already have.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')


	122. Chapter 121

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> It's been awhile since I've said thank you to all of you lovely readers - new and old. If your one of my newer ppl, welcome! And enjoy the ride ^.^ If you're one of my older dudes, thank you for sticking with me!  
> And thanks to all who take the time to comment and to those who hit the kudos
> 
> That's all I got for today. Enjoy!
> 
> _“Welcome detectives who aren’t playing detectives today."_

“Stupid fucking dog,” Ivo grumbled as he checked under a parked car for Waddle. He wasn’t stupid, he knew he wasn’t going to be there but fuck, he was running out of places to check. Now, his worry was mostly that maybe someone stole the poor thing.

It was August and hot. Obviously, that was typical but when you’ve spent the past half hour checking for a fucking basset, hoping to just fucking _find it_ …

The heat felt a million times hotter. Stuffier. Suffocating.

Jesus fuck.

Getting off his aching knee, Ivo stood and let out a frustrated huff. His men hadn’t been joking when they said the stupid thing was nowhere to be found. But he had promised Joseph he’d find Waddle and he had no intention of breaking his promise. He’d never broken one with Joseph before and he wasn’t going to start today because of a dog.

“C’mon, Waddle,” he groaned as he walked further down the street. “Work with me you fucking stubbster.” His button up was starting to stick to him and he felt incredibly gross. A shower was needed but if he didn’t find Waddle soon there wouldn’t be time for one before he had to rush to a meeting.

Either he showed up late or he smelled like shit.

Both sounded bad to him; it was an important meeting. They had driven more than an hour to come talk with him.

“Waddle!” Ivo called after checking his watch. Yeah, he really had to hurry. “Fucking dog! C’mon! Have mercy on me in all this fucking heat!”

Rolling up his sleeves, he sighed as he trudged along. Giving up was something he hated but he really had to get going if he wanted a chance to shower. “Another walk around and then that’s it,” he muttered to himself. He’d try his search again after he finished from his meeting.

Pausing as he passed yet another alleyway, Ivo glanced in and decided this would be his last one to check. He was literally two miles away from his warehouse; could Waddle actually waddle that far?

Letting out a whistle, he called “Waddle! You here?” He glanced around various garbage – must not be trash day for them yet – and let out another whistle. “Please?”

He crouched down beside a dumpster and peered under.

And found the stupid bastard.

Relief rushed over him as he softly murmured “Hey there. I can’t reach unless I get on my knees and dude, my knee has no feeling left in it. Do me the favor please?” He stretched out his hand a little, “Waddle.”

There was no room for the dog to stand even though he was so stubby. Waddle blinked at him for a little while before Ivo swore it seemed like the dog’s eyes lit up in happiness. Could dogs do that?

Contemplation of this wasn’t possible as the basset squeezed out and starting yipping in happiness, butting his head against Ivo. Rubbing him all over, Ivo replied “Yeah, good to see you too. I know the guards are scary but Jesus, you should have gone to them when they were looking. You made us all worry you fucker.”

With tail wagging thousands of miles per hour, Waddle just continued on with his happy moment. The dog didn’t look hurt or anything which was good; he probably had just been terrified.

But damn, did he smell nasty. It was probably because of the dumpster.

“Looks like we both need showers, huh?” Ivo laughed as he hoisted the basset into his arms and stood. He was going to be late, there was no way around it. Yulian would cover for him which was fine but it wasn’t exactly the impression he had wanted to make.

When he reached home, he parked on the street not wanting to waste any time on going in and out of the garage. Waddle followed him, albeit much slower on the stairs. Unlocking the door and going in with Waddle rushing in after him, Ivo called “Joseph!”

Then remembered that he and Vesela had gone to see Emilio.

Staring at the dog happily running around the house, Ivo wondered if he could shower himself and Waddle fast enough. He didn’t want to leave him all dirty to get on the furniture.

Gross.

Would it be weird to share a shower with the dog?

Fuck yeah. That was a stupid thought. He didn’t want Waddle staring at his dick or something.

Definitely no sharing.

He could just leave him in the backyard…but that seemed cruel when the basset was so happy just to be home…

And he was wasting precious time just standing here thinking.

Pulling out his phone when it started ringing, Ivo answered the pain in the ass. “Hmm.”

“Where are you?” Yulian trailed in a tone that didn’t even make it sound like he cared or that it was a question. Obviously, he actually cared but he wasn’t showing it. He was speaking in Bulgarian which meant their guests were probably already there.

Sighing as he slipped his shoes off and went upstairs to shower – hopefully leaving Waddle unbathed wasn’t a bad idea – he replied “Getting into the shower.”

There was silence on the other end until finally “The shower.” Ivo hummed the affirmative. “Ivo, why the fuck are you barely getting into the shower? You should have been here twenty minutes ago. Before they even got here.”

“I know,” he muttered, trying his best not to get annoyed. Quickly stripping off his clothes, he grabbed his towel and walked into the bathroom. He placed his towel on the bar and turned on the water. Putting his phone on speaker as he went into the shower, he didn’t bother closing the door. Hopefully he wouldn’t make too much of a puddle on the floor. “I’ll be fast.”

“You’ll be fast. What does that even mean.”

“I had to go find Waddle and got drenched in sweat from my searching. It was either be late but smell nice and fresh or be on time but smell like complete shit.”

Imagining that Yulian probably was grasping the bridge of his nose with two fingers with eyes closed, Ivo washed off the last of the soap and shut off the water from the fastest shower in the world as Yulian replied “Okay. Just hurry up. I can fill in but I think it’d be better if we just started with you from the beginning. And when you get here, apologize and tell them about Waddle.”

Pausing as he dried himself off, Ivo asked “Tell them about Waddle?”

“Yeah. Since he got here, all the maximum leader has talked about is his new beautiful grandson. Give him something personal.”

Shit. He hated doing personal, especially if it involved Joseph or Vesela. “Okay, I guess,” he muttered while getting dressed as he walked back downstairs. His hair was still a little messy but it would do. “But just Waddle and I’m not saying Joseph’s name.”

“Waddle should be enough. Just hurry your ass up before he starts asking me about my life.”

Hanging up, Ivo pointed to Waddle and Peanut. “Clean up your foster child, cat. And don’t make my furniture smell or you’re both dead.” He received blinks in response and Ivo accepted that as plenty from two animals as he walked out.

  

* * *

 

Emilio had burst out laughing at the sound of Joseph’s cracking voice the minute he heard it. Now every time his voice would change pitch, Emilio would smile.

Typically, Joseph would be slightly annoyed. But because it was Emilio and because his friend happened to be in the hospital, he had been much more forgiving if it meant he put a smile on the other boy’s face.

His friend had loved getting Mr. Cat to keep him company and kept the cat clutched close to him. He was excited to try out the infamous cuddling abilities of the plush.

“Did your dad find Waddle?” Emilio asked as they shared his lunch. The hospital food was decent enough to eat but definitely not something to be excited about. Although, Joseph had to admit that their cheesecake was pretty good for a hospital one.

“I know he went to check but I don’t know if he found him or not,” Joseph replied, trying to keep his worry for his dog down. He really hoped that the stubbster was okay. He turned to his mother who was sitting in a chair reading a book. “Mayko?”

“He hasn’t texted me or anything,” she replied. “But if anyone is going to find him, it’s him. Try not to worry too much, sweetheart.”

“I know,” he sighed, “But I can’t help it.”

“Lyubov is doing good though. All patched up is what he said this morning before he left. Looking at a full recovery.”

“That’s good!” Emilio exclaimed. “Will she be like me with badass scars? We can match with our battle wounds.”

Both he and his mother laughed in reply as someone knocked and walked in. “Hello!” his tétka chimed with a smile. The entire brood of his cousins came in after her with Andrey holding his brother in his arms and Anka a flower basket.

“Hi, Ms. Nikol,” Emilio grinned back. “Hi guys.”

Albena came walking over and held up a small box of chocolates. “Fo you.”

“Aw, thanks!” Emilio reached out and took the box, settling it in his lap as Anka placed the flowers on a shelf. “You guys didn’t have to but thank you!”

“Course we did,” Anka replied as she sat on the edge of the bed by Joseph. “We’d be horrible friends if we didn’t bring nothin’.”

Andrey handed Timotei – who actually looked like a baby version of his grandfather – to Joseph’s mother before he took a seat beside her. “You doing okay?”

Emilio shrugged and replied “Not bad. Medicine makes sure I don’t hurt much and I’ve always got awesome company. Sounds good to me.”

“What about other than physically?”

Looking a little hesitant at answering the question, Emilio sunk into his pillow a bit. When Joseph had first arrived, his friend had told him how horrible the night had been. There was no sleep because every time he closed his eyes, all he’d hear was the barking and snarls. Emilio had even sworn that he could feel the teeth all over again.

So sleep had been dumped in the trash and his friend had spent the night talking with abuela until exhaustion had taken him. It had only granted him a couple hours but it was better than fitful sleep.

“That…that needs a bit of work,” Emilio mumbled. He scratched his head in his nerves and corrected “A lot of work.”

His elder cousin looked worried from the answer. “Did you get any sleep? You look terrible.”

“Who needs sleep,” Emilio tried to laugh. Not a single person in the room believed that laugh.

“Maybe like sleeping drugs or something could help?” Anka asked.

Shaking his head, Emilio replied “It’s not worth it. I’ll be fine.”

“It’s worth it,” Joseph snorted. He didn’t understand why the room suddenly went quiet as he glanced at his family. Emilio was wearing that small smile whenever Joseph’s voice…

Oh.

With a huge smile on her face, his tétka laughed “Aw, look at you! Growing up, huh?”

“It’s worth it,” Andrey mocked in his laughter, copying Joseph’s stupid cracking voice. “God punishes, foo.”

“Whatever,” he muttered while rolling his eyes. “Please shut up.”

“No way, dude. You’re so gonna suffer what you did to me.” With a laugh, Andrey added “And more.”

“Now we’re just waiting on Emilio,” Anka chimed in. “Hurry up.”

With a smile on his face, his friend replied “Maybe I’ll be the lucky kind who just one day wakes up with a deep voice. No suffering that way.”

“I’d be so jealous if you got that lucky,” Joseph said while trying to attempt to keep his voice steady. It obviously didn’t work but he had to try.

“It was just yesterday that we agreed that I’m a lucky sorta guy.”

“I think all of us are pretty lucky,” his mother noted. “We seem to all have decent records in everything.”

“That’s true,” Anka agreed. “I mean, tetíncho gets up from being pulverized with a stupid smile on his face.” Joseph let out a laugh with that observation. “Mr. Vidal too. Got shot and wanted to be up and moving in just a couple days.” She gestured to Emilio, “Attacked by an animal,” they all avoided saying ‘dog’ for his sake, “and look at him with also his stupid smile.”

Face bright and smiling, Emilio asked “What’s wrong with my smile? I think it’s a real awesome smile.”

Joseph agreed.

“Nothing,” Anka shrugged, “It’s just whenever you guys get hurt, you smile.”

Hugging Timotei close to her, his mother informed “Your tetíncho says that’s the best way to get better. Just smile and already you’re feeling less like crap.”

“So philosophical that man,” his tétka snorted with an eyeroll.

“If anyone’s lucky,” Emilio interrupted, “It’s Mr. Yulian. All these years I’ve known you guys and he’s the one who never gets hurt.”

“God, keep it that way,” his tétka murmured.

Stretching his stupid long legs out, Andrey replied “Physically maybe. But there was that whole fight with bába Mila.”

The relationship between parent Simeonovs and his uncle was shaky at best. Before they had left, Mrs. Simeonov had made amends. Tetíncho accepted them but it seemed like he only did it because she bothered to try. He didn’t even seem to care. Joseph knew that his tetíncho called his parents once a week but now they were lucky if they heard from him once a month.

“True but no one is lucky in that sort of stuff.” Getting more comfortable and opening the box of chocolates, Emilio popped one into his mouth. “I’m just saying that I bet Mr. Kavinsky will get hurt again before Mr. Yulian ever does. He’s got like a shield or something.”

The thought of anyone getting hurt wasn’t cool with Joseph but he understood what Emilio meant.

Hopefully everyone’s shields would hold up for as long as possible.

Forever if that was even possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')


	123. Chapter 122

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> And it begins! I really hope this won't end up being disappointing or something. Idk why I'm so worried honestly but I can't help it.  
> So the update schedule is gonna change a bit (only for this arc) because it's so large. My bro says giving only three updates a week will kill it for him (it'll be boring waiting or something) and whether that applies to you guys, idk, but this is how it'll go. We keep our normal S/T/Th but then we also add Wednesday and Friday. So five a week. S/T/W/Th/F. Sound good?
> 
> Enjoy a mini tour of Ivo's casino, mobsters, detectives, and shit getting broken.  
> See y'all Tuesday
> 
> _“Okay now that is really gross…”_

To say he wasn’t on edge would be a lie.

He was nervous.

It happened.

That sort of thing was normal.

But he was also feeling guilty. Like he was about to do something wrong.

Was it wrong though?

Possibly, yeah, it could be.

“We doing this or not?” Savelio asked from the passenger seat beside him. Her stare was a powerful one; it made criminals have the sudden urge to confess.

At the moment, it made him squirm.

“Do you think we should?” Raul had asked her this question a million times over already.

Sighing, she put her now empty coffee cup that she had been shaking in hopes of magically creating more coffee into the cup holder and replied “If you want to do this, then I’m with you. You know that.”

“I know, but is it wrong to do this? Am I being stupid? That’s what I need you to tell me.”

“I understand why you want to do this. I get it, I swear. As a friend, what you’re thinking isn’t a big deal.”

“As a cop,” he sighed, sinking into his chair.

She was silent before saying “As a cop…it’s a little questionable. You’re giving a criminal information that maybe you shouldn’t. Depends really on what the info would be used for.”

He knew that. He knew all of this.

And yet here he was, a file in his hand, sitting in his car in front of a casino used as a front for a mob.

 _What are you doing, Raul…_ “So…”

“You wanna do this, then let’s get moving. My ass hurts from sitting here and people are looking at us weird.” She stuck out her tongue at a woman who gave a funny stare as she passed.

Nodding slowly, Raul sighed and got out of the car. “Let’s do this.”

They walked into the bustling noise of the casino after getting the clear from the security just inside the door. The place was perfect really. Pure class and beautifully done. And why wouldn’t it be? Timotei had been a man of the highest pedigree. The man always held himself well.

Black and white, crystal chandeliers, expensive everything. People couldn’t even get in unless they were dressed black tie. It wasn’t your average ‘let’s go have fun’ casino. It wasn’t your shady one down in Atlantic City.

_“Why the Black Sea Rose?” The name had always made Raul think._

_Focused on sniping someone’s head off in Call of Duty, Ivo replied “Reminded Timotei of home, he said. Burgas – his hometown – is on the coast of the Black Sea. Rose is our national flower. ‘We need to keep our identity, Ivo.’”_

_The impersonation was a good one. “Makes sense. Nikolai was also from Burgas?” The man had created the mob with Timotei; did he have input?_

_Ivo answered with a nod as he popped off three heads in quick succession. Raul wondered if he could do that in real life or not. “They came to America together along with their wives. It’s a beautiful city; my mother used to take me and my brother every year for a few days if we did good in school.”_

Walking towards the back, Raul took some time to ‘sight see.’ Yeah, his jaw could probably drop from the grandeur of this place. Maybe he’d ask Ivo to take him to the restaurant here to try the food; it had to be good. The drinks at the bar were probably better than anything he’d ever tasted.

Minus the rum. Puerto Rico had the best out of anywhere and always would.

Both he and Savelio paused for a minute to watch a game of Texas Hold ‘Em. Poker wasn’t something he was good at but he knew his partner cleaned out some of their fellow detectives sometimes when they’d have a game.

“High rollers, you think?” Savelio asked as they walked on, pointing to a room beside the area they needed. There was a guard in front of it who checked the I.D’s of the highly dressed people walking in. Once someone passed inspection, the velvet rope would be unhooked and they were allowed passage.

“Probably. I wonder how much goes into the pot in there…”

“Millions,” his partner snorted. “Them the extra rich people.”

The first time he came here, he hadn’t paid attention to anything so he was using his opportunity now. This was only his second time coming – his first time was spent on a crime scene.

Not a memory he wanted right now.

There were two guards before the double doors that they wanted. Raul wasn’t here in his capacity of a detective but he knew that was the easiest way to get in so he flashed his badge. The men’s faces remained blank as they examined both his and Savelio’s I.D’s. Once they were satisfied, one nodded and opened the door, gesturing his head for them to enter.

It almost felt like a death sentence when the door shut and the noise of the casino was shut out.

“Let’s do this,” Savelio breathed into the quiet as they walked down the hall. At the end of it, there were, of course, more guards. One checked out their badges again and then nodded before leading them up a staircase that Raul had followed before.

Finally reaching the door they wanted, the guard passed them with a nod to Asen. “Hello, detectives,” he smiled politely.

“Just Raul and Kehaulani at the moment, actually.”

Curiosity flickered briefly in the other man’s eyes before a real smile grew on his face. It was no longer business. “Welcome then, Raul and Kehaulani. My lord is expecting you?”

Calling or going to the house had occurred to him a lot on the drive here. But it was something he considered urgent and it couldn’t be said over a phone call. “No actually. Hopefully he’s not busy?”

“At the current time, he is meeting with the advisors. But this is a typical daily meeting and truthfully, I’m sure he’d love the interruption.”

Raul couldn’t help the smirk that grew on his face. Even Kehaulani had one. They all knew that Ivo would die for the interruption. “Do you think you can get me in then?”

“My pleasure.” Asen knocked and then stuck his head through a crack when he opened the door. Words were said in Bulgarian – you’d think Raul would catch on by now – and then he heard his and his partner’s names. The door was opened fully and Asen bowed them in. “Welcome again.”

Walking into a room filled with men who had once held guns on him – minus Ivo – Raul and Savelio stood by the door until he was invited to move. Ivo smiled to them and leaned into his chair, flicking a finger at them to ‘come on.’

They gave their greetings to the men seated. Two men got up from their seats to stand and the rest moved a chair over to make room for them. Seated across from Yulian and beside Ivo who sat at the head of the table, Raul knew whose chair this used to be.

His heart ached a touch from the realization.

“Welcome detectives who aren’t playing detectives today,” Ivo smirked. “What do I owe the pleasure?”

While he wasn’t here as ‘detective,’ Raul knew he had to play carefully because he definitely didn’t have the upper hand or even equal footing in this room.

This was Lord Kavinsky’s show.

“I truly hope you’ll still think it’s a pleasure once we’re done talking,” Raul replied while placing his file on the table. “Something tells me you’ll disagree, however.”

That earned him a flicker of something in Ivo’s eyes that he couldn’t read. “Very well. I suppose we’ll just have to wait and see, no?”

“We do,” he nodded, “But first, are you going to offer me something to drink?” Hospitality was ingrained in all the Bulgarians he knew, especially Ivo. He didn’t know if it was a culture thing or just because all the Bulgarians he knew were from the same mob and they were trained the same.

With a grin, Ivo exclaimed “Of course!” He nodded to one of the men who had given up his chair. “Coffee, Petar.”

Pissing off anyone in the room wasn’t something he wanted but he had to ask. “Do advisors generally serve?”

Yulian laughed at that one. “Technically, if Ivo told them to go eat their shit, they’d have to.”

Well, at least it was Yulian and not him who pissed off everyone. Ivo was loving the answer as he broke into laughter. “Power’s so fun.”

“As long as there is no abuse of power,” snorted one older man. Raul remembered that he was Asen’s father.

“Of course not,” Ivo replied with his own snort and a roll of his eyes.

The coffee was placed before them and Raul wanted to laugh at his partner as she stared down at the blackness of hers. Looking away from her mug, she said to Ivo “Is cream and sugar foreign in this place? Does the coffee have to be as black as your soul?”

With a huge grin, Ivo replied “I actually think we’re out of sugar but you’re right, Petar should have inquired about your preference. My apologies.” He turned to the man who had poured the coffee. “Looks like you’re going on a sugar run for the undetective. Off you go.”

Looking a bit annoyed, Petar walked out and shut the door a little too hard behind himself. “I didn’t have to drink any,” Savelio said, probably wondering like him if they just lowered a man’s status or something.

“Petar gets to make himself useful today, Kehaulani. It’s good for a fuckup.”

“In the doghouse, is he?”

Taking a sip of his own coffee, Ivo simply nodded, not elaborating on anything. “So what do I owe this impromptu meeting to?”

Feeling a little nervous because he still wasn’t sure if what he was doing was right, Raul gulped his coffee. He knew he was being silent for too long and that was proven true when Ivo spoke again with a little more concern in his voice. “Is something wrong? Do you need help with anything?”

Sighing and leaning back, Raul responded “No, everything with me is fine. Kehaulani too.”

“Then?”

“I…I came to…” His words just weren’t working right. It was still in his head that maybe this was the wrong thing to do. Bad for his career even.

It was too late though.

He was already here.

“I came to deliver some intel that I think you should know about. Maybe you already know it but, to be honest, I doubt it because I don’t think you’d be your normal charming self if you did.” He could tell Ivo was both surprised and confused just from the tilt of his mouth.

“So you’re telling me…” Ivo trailed, “That Detective Raul ‘I’m not your free ride/I’ll arrest you in a minute if I could’ Vidal is here to give me intel. Not Ivo but Lord Kavinsky, the head of a criminal organization.”

“Shocking, I know. But the intel can be considered slightly personal.”

Rubbing along his jaw as he thought about this, Ivo asked “And this intel is?”

Raul tapped the folder. “In here. I was visiting gang unit for a case a few days ago and it happened to have caught my eye. And after a couple of days of thinking on what to do, I decided that it’s something you need to know.”

Really needed to know.

“So you essentially stole from gang unit?” Yulian asked in a shocked voice. Yeah, Raul was surprised by his actions to.

And yet he had done it.

“I…yeah, I essentially stole from gang unit. Thank you for reminding me.” If he wasn’t feeling like a dirty cop before, he was now after the mobster so helpfully pointed it out.

Ivo actually looked slightly worried. “If it’s something that I can find on my own, I don’t want it-”

The mobster was worried for the detective’s career. Who would’ve thought? “I don’t want you finding out too late. You really need to know.”

“I really need to know?”

Sighing, he pushed the paperwork that he had taken from Sofia Popov’s liaison desk and made copies of. “Just look.”

The folder remained closed under Ivo’s tapping fingers. “If I open this-”

 _You could lose everything._ “I know. Just do it.”

He gave one last long look to Raul before he flipped the manila folder open. Ivo was silent as he read a copy of ADA Popov’s typed up summary of her watch on organized crime while taking occasional sips of his coffee. Everyone in the room waited for whatever it was that was so important. It was a long report and really there was nothing in it but boring observations. The only thing that had caught his eye was at the very end, which Ivo hadn’t reached yet. While he was reading in the silence, Petar had come back with the sugar and gave Savelio a fresh mug of coffee sweetened with sugar and cream. It was nice when a bodega was at the end of the street, he guessed.

When Ivo reached what Raul wanted him to see, everyone in the room knew.

Because the coffee mug froze in his hand on the way to his mouth.

And he blinked repeatedly as though he couldn’t believe what he was reading. His eyebrows scrunched and his eyes narrowed as he focused even harder. The coffee mug shook in his hand as he set it back down on the table. “How accurate is this?” Ivo whispered. “Can it be wrong?”

That was something that had crossed his mind so like the good detective he was, Raul did his research. “Look at the other stuff.”

Fear was never something he had seen on Ivo and it was something he definitely didn’t like seeing as the mobster held a personnel record in his still shaking hand. The record had been large when Raul searched the name so he only printed the main page – name, age, photograph. All the basics.

And then some.

Like the person’s most recent whereabouts that gang unit had collected.

Sofia Popov’s report was accurate.

Ivo’s hand was clenched tight on the paper, wrinkling it where it was held. “Why are you giving this to me?”

“You need to know. I don’t know how he passed your radar but…”

The paper was crumpled entirely before Ivo stood abruptly – his chair making a horrible noise, still staring down at the file. His fists were clenched tight and rested on the tabletop. Everyone in the room was dying to know what was up, not the least Yulian as his gaze flicked from Ivo to Raul and back.

The Bulgarian lord was biting so hard into his lip that Raul was just waiting for blood to start dripping. One fist slowly unclenched and a finger rubbed along the handle of his coffee mug before it was yanked up and thrown.

Smashing into a wall, shattering into hundreds of pieces with coffee dripping down the wall.

“FUCK!”

Now Yulian looked like he was about to grasp the file for himself. Raul wasn’t sure if it was some sort of protocol thing where they weren’t allowed certain information without permission. But that thought erased quickly as his attention went back to the raging red faced shouting man in the room.

“FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!” His chair was lifted and slammed into the same wall, the chair not breaking but making an ugly dent in the wall while knocking over a glass vase which exploded into pieces upon hitting the floor.

Something told him if no one did anything, there wouldn’t be much left of the room. Asen’s head had popped in when the shouting started but he was still. Raul was about to get up himself when no one moved but Yulian beat him to it when yet another object was shattered into the wall.

Raul felt kind of bad for that abused wall.

Ivo had grabbed some glass paperweight thing and was about to fling that too but Yulian grabbed his arms tight and was trying to wrench it from his hand. “Stop.” Being that he was a stubborn man, Ivo had no intentions of stopping as he tried to yank himself free. “Stop!” Yulian yelled as he shoved Ivo hard into the wall. Grabbing the hand that held the glass orb, the blonde repeatedly slammed it against the wall until the orb was dropped.

No shattering because the damn thing was so heavy.

“Stop,” Yulian said firmly, “Stop and calm down.” The tension and anger lessened in Ivo’s body as he hung his head and gave up trying to take his arms back which Yulian still held tight at the wrists. “Tell me what’s wrong.” The other man remained silent as he rested his forehead on Yulian’s shoulder. “Ivo, tell me what’s wrong,” he repeated.

“I’m so fucked,” Ivo whispered, “So fucked.”

“Okay,” Yulian replied softly, “Now tell me why.” The other man’s fists clenched again for a second before he released them in defeat. “Tell me why.”

“He’s here,” Ivo mumbled miserably. Raul was feeling a mixture of ‘I made the right choice in telling’ and ‘I’m such an asshole for breaking this man.’

Not really an awesome feeling.

“He’s here,” Yulian repeated in an understanding voice though Raul didn’t think he knew who they were talking about. The way that man spoke made Raul decide that he should have been a therapist. “And because he’s here, you’re fucked.” Ivo nodded. “Okay. Now I need to know who is here.”

Silence followed that. A very long silence but Yulian didn’t push Ivo to speak; he simply waited him out, giving him his time. The longtime advisors watched carefully, waiting for the answer. The newer ones were also but there was a hint of shock in their gazes. He wasn’t sure if it was because they had never seen Ivo blow – Raul hadn’t either but he had been expecting it – or because they were surprised by his breaking down.

Eventually a small whisper came from the mobster but Yulian didn’t catch it as he asked “Can you repeat that, please?”

Another moment of silence passed before Ivo finally mumbled in pure defeat a single name.

“Damyan.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')


	124. Chapter 123

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> Enjoy ^.^  
> I know talking and stories and dialog aren't everyone's jazz and some find it boring. No worries, I get it. Everyone has different tastes in reading. I like those sort of things which is probs why I write so much of it.
> 
> _“Guess family relations aren’t the best, my lord?”_

What was up, Joseph had no clue. But for the past few days, something had been making both his father and tetíncho act weird. Well, more his father and his tetíncho was carefully looking after his father.

He had asked his mother if maybe she knew what was going on but it turned out that she was as confused as he was.

Weird.

It was like his father was on his toes or something. Paranoid.

Afraid.

That wasn’t normal.

Something big was going on.

Besides, you know, what Joseph had been working on for a week.

Another sigh escaped him as he thought about his continued failures. Something was missing but he just couldn’t figure out what it was.

Every time he tried to dream up an animal, it came out horribly wrong.

_Blinking his eyes open, Joseph quietly sat up in his bed and glanced beside him when he noticed his hands were empty. Sometimes, dream objects would end up somewhere around him instead of in his grasp. He wasn’t sure why, but whatever. It wasn’t worth the effort of thinking about unlike what was currently next to him._

_No one said it would be perfect the first time._

_“That’s so gross,” he whispered into the quiet night as he flashed his dim flashlight on the dead body of the squirrel beside him. It looked so…_

_Flat. Smooshed._

_Like it had no insides._

_Weird._

_Sliding off his bed, he crouched to the floor and pulled out a box from under his bed. It wasn’t his special box, although, this was a dream object._

_It was a vet kit. Like a super professional looking surgery one that had tons of stuff._

_Like a scalpel._

_He needed to see if his squirrel had insides or not. Because it sure didn’t look like it._

_Taking out the scalpel and a mini plastic sheet which he set on the floor, Joseph slipped on a pair of latex gloves and then stood. Carefully, he picked up the dead dream squirrel and then set it on the sheet._

_Dissecting his first animal in the middle of the night on the floor of his bedroom._

_Yeah, he was cool._

_A snort of laughter erupted from him at the thought. “Yeah, so cool. Not weird at all.”_

_Flipping the squirrel onto its back, he spread its limbs wide with one hand while he cut from its neck down. Taking some dissecting pins, he used them to fold back what he had cut so he could look inside._

_And yeah._

_It was empty._

_“Huh…” The animal had been alive in his dream and yet it wasn’t here. It didn’t even have its organs._

_What was up with that?_

Since then, he had been working on figuring out how to take out the animal so it could be alive. So far no luck but Joseph wasn’t giving up yet. He had gotten animal anatomy books from the library and started studying his heart out. Figuring this out was something he needed and he felt like these books would probably help. And they had.

Kind of.

_“Okay now that is really gross…” Joseph trailed. No way was he keeping his sheet; it didn’t matter how many times he washed it. There was no way in the world he’d ever sleep on it again after a pile of organs beside a dead rabbit was on it._

_Just no._

_After putting on a pair of gloves, he poked the pile and picked up one of the masses. Liver maybe? It looked it. Squishing it in his hand while he thought, Joseph murmured “So how do I get all of this inside…”_

He was still working on that.

What had worried him at the beginning of his experiment was what to do with the bodies. But it seemed the forest had planned for that by leaving a bottle of something by his feet when he first arrived. He didn’t know what the stuff was but somehow, he knew he was supposed to pour it over the body.

_Placing the squirrel on the floor of his shower once he was done with his dissection, Joseph screwed off the lid of the mysterious liquid. He was on the verge of throwing up when he smelled it. “Nasty,” he muttered with a scrunched nose._

_How much was he supposed to use? There were no instructions on this thing. Shrugging, he poured the entire bottle onto the body and waited. Nothing seemed like it was happening besides for the nasty stench becoming stronger._

_Crouching down, he stared and felt a bit of excitement when he realized that there were bubbles erupting on the squirrel. Some type of reaction was occurring._

_Best science lesson ever._

_His eyes went wide when the carcass started to dissolve._

_Literally dissolve._

_Fur, skin, and even bones._

_In a matter of seconds._

_“Holy shit…” he whispered into the night when there was nothing left except the smell of whatever the hell that acid was. There wasn’t even a puddle of evidence to show that something had just been there._

_Damn._

Looking up from his focus on the anatomy of a hamster when there was a knock on the door, Joseph called “Open!” The head that poked in wasn’t one he was expecting. Joseph didn’t even know that he was here. “Hi, tetíncho.”

“Joseph,” he smiled. “Mind if I join you?”

Shaking his head, Joseph patted the bed. “You wanna read about hamsters?”

“No, I’m good. I don’t like them,” his uncle replied as he sat down, pulling up his legs onto the bed. “They remind me of rats and as someone who grew up here, rats are the utter enemy.”

It was true. You didn’t find bigger rats than the ones in Jersey or New York.

They were forces to be reckoned with.

“Fair point, I suppose,” he noted as he shut his book and set it on the floor. “So…what’s up?”

Leaning on the headboard, tetíncho Yulian said “Well, I don’t think you’re going to like the news but…for the next month, you guys are coming to live with me.”

Joseph blinked at the man in front of him, not understanding. “Huh? Living with you?”

“That’s right. I’ll help you guys pack whatever you need and then we leave today. We have to lock up the house too.”

Scratching his head in confusion, Joseph repeated “Living with you.” Tetíncho Yulian nodded. “Uh…can you maybe explain?” This was all news to him; no one had mentioned anything about them staying at his aunt’s house. “Is tatko coming too?”

“Yup. All three of you.”

“Okay but why?” The house didn’t need any sort of fixing that he knew of.

The older man was silent before he asked “Have you noticed that something’s been going on?”

“Duh. Give me more credit, please.”

A smile grew on his uncle’s face as he said “That’s why.”

Peanut jumped onto the bed beside him and curled into his lap. “Tetíncho, that makes no sense.”

“We think you guys might be in danger. We’re taking precautions against that.”

Danger? His heart stopped for a second before he asked carefully “What kind of danger? Like mobster business stuff?”

He couldn’t say that he was happy when his uncle nodded. “Mobster business stuff. Someone’s in the state who…most likely harbors ill will towards your father. That ill will can extend to you and your mom and we need to prevent anything from happening.”

Now this was really not making sense. His father was one of the biggest mobsters in the state; of course he had people who didn’t like him. Why was this person different? “Instead of lies of omission, can you please just tell me?”

Sighing because he probably thought he’d get away with what little he had given, tetíncho Yulian asked “You remember Damyan?”

His father’s uncle. The man who ruined his father’s life. Yeah, he definitely remembered. “’Course.”

“Seems he’s in the states looking to expand his empire internationally. His latest stop is Elizabeth where he’s hoping to get some sponsoring from one of the Italian families. You’re going to act like I’m telling you the bare minimum should anyone ask, but I think that he had no idea about your father when he got here. However, now that he’s in Elizabeth, there’s no way someone hasn’t asked why he has the same last name as the infamous Bulgarian lord of Hoboken.”

Joseph appreciated the fact that his uncle was going the extra stride to explain everything to him. Being in the dark was something he hated. Probably something that everyone hated. “Who’s in Elizabeth?”

“DeCavalcante’s. Latest intel says they’re seriously considering being a sponsor for the Bulgarians back home.”

That happened to be a name he remembered.

Those were the bastards who had had his grandfather killed.

“So let’s say that Damyan has now officially found out his nephew is only a half hour away…what happens?”

Helping Waddle onto the bed, his tetíncho thought for a minute before replying “A few things.”

“Elaborate.”

“Damyan has been under the impression that your father was dead for more than two decades now. He had no clue they made it out of Greece. Now he finds out that he’s very much alive and runs an entire city with influence covering multiple others. You tell me.”

Typical tetíncho style.

Make people answer their own questions.

Giving some serious thought to the whole situation, Joseph finally murmured “Tatko still has a legitimate claim back home. He’s still heir, isn’t he? Because of that, Damyan’s leadership is now standing on shaky grounds, if it hadn’t been already for whatever reason. Which means…”

It meant his father was in big trouble.

But it meant something else too.

“It’s not just tatko who’s on the list because he’s not the only one left from Yosef Kavinsky’s bloodline.” He looked into his uncle’s face, beginning to feel a touch of fear. “There’s me.”

  

* * *

 

“My guards are more than capable, Raul,” Ivo muttered for the fiftieth time in five minutes.

“Yes, I know. But it’s not just your life that’s on the line right now.” He’d trust Ivo’s guards to watch over the idiot but when there was a legitimate hit on a thirteen year-old boy? Yeah, Raul was definitely going to get a police detail in on that.

He just had to convince his sergeant.

Which was why both he and Ivo were sitting in his car in the parking lot of the precinct. They had been working on building up their nerve to go in there.

Actually, Raul was working up his nerve. Ivo was busy trying to humble himself to ask for help to protect his child from a psychopath willing to murder family.

“I know,” he whispered, rubbing his face in frustration. “I fucking know.”

“Yulian’s moving them, right?” It was the option they had decided upon yesterday. They’d go live with Yulian until there was no longer a threat. Guards would be posted around the clock and if Raul was able to convince his sergeant, cops would be too. He planned on vying on getting him and Savelio in as the leads.

Fingers crossed.

“Yeah. Asen will head the guards while also being Joseph’s personal guard.”

Sounded good. Asen was probably the only other person that Ivo trusted to be around his son. “Alright, good. Let’s go and stop sitting here like idiots.”

Nodding quickly, Ivo let out a huge huff before getting out of the car. Even Ivo had personal guards once the mob realized the high threat against their head. His friend hated them but he knew it was necessary. The only reason they weren’t around now was because he was with Raul.

“Savelio’s already here?” Ivo asked as they walked to the door.

“Waiting for us and been sending texts filled with curses saying we’re taking too long.”

That managed to earn a tiny laugh from the highly-strung man beside him. “Okay.”

Walking in and after getting a visitor’s pass for Ivo accompanied by a few looks, they went to meet Savelio at their desks. “Ivo,” she nodded.

“Detective,” he sighed without any of his usual vigor.

She spoke to both of them. “Sarge just stepped out; should be back in ten.”

“Guess we can practice our speech then,” Raul sighed as he sat down. Nerves fizzled in his stomach as he bounced his leg up and down. This needed to go well.

Like really well. Beyond fucking well.

“We just need to explain everything,” his partner said confidently. “Sarge will understand as long as we’re honest and don’t bullshit him.” She pointed at Ivo, “No bullshit.”

Ivo nodded, “No bullshit.”

Leaning on the edge of Raul’s desk, Savelio pointed out “We’ve protected criminals before. This shouldn’t be a problem.”

“Joseph’s not a criminal,” Ivo muttered in slight annoyance. He was tense; hell, had been since he found out that there was no longer an ocean separating him and his uncle.

“You know what I mean.”

Tilting his head to stare at the ceiling and letting out another huff of air, Ivo replied “I do. It’s just…”

“Nothing will happen,” Raul said in full assurance. He wouldn’t promise because there was no way he knew that they could keep Joseph safe but they’d sure as hell try their best.

Their best was good.

“Detective Vidal!” A woman’s voice called. Turning to see who it was, Raul watched as ADA Popov walked over with O’Brien and some other man.

Fuck.

Ivo turned even tenser than he already was. Raul couldn’t decide if it was because he was facing O’Brien or Venc’s parents.

“ADA Popov,” Raul smiled as he stood while sticking his hand out in greeting to her and her husband who he had yet to meet until now. “How are you?”

She accepted and shook his hand but lost her words when she realized who was standing. Special Agent Popov also did the same. He didn’t think they yet knew who their son was and had worked for – they hadn’t dug that deep into the mob yet – but they definitely knew who Ivo was. “Hello.”

Giving a stiff nod, Ivo held out his hand for a handshake. “Hello. Ivo Kavinsky.”

Taking the hand, albeit hesitantly, Sofia Popov answered “Yes, I’m aware. Sofia Popov.”

“As I am aware.” He stuck out his hand to Milan Popov. “The pleasure is mine.”

“If you can call it a pleasure,” O’Brien snorted when he wasn’t offered a handshake. “How do you do, Lord Kavinsky?”

“Well enough,” Ivo replied stiffly.

“Something bothering you?”

Raul’s eyes caught on the form of his sergeant walking to his office. “Let’s go. He’s back.”

“Where to?” Special Agent Popov inquired. “I was actually hoping to speak with you.”

“Please do not think of me as rude, but something urgent needs to be spoken about with Sergeant Donnelly. If you would excuse us.” He was about to walk away but he saw someone enter the sarge’s office. Looks like they’d have to wait. “Dammit,” he muttered.

“Is something wrong?” Ms. Popov inquired curiously.

“We just need to speak with the sergeant,” Savelio answered. “Looks like someone beat us though.”

Ivo looked just about ready to explode from how strained he was. Hopefully, he wouldn’t blow on someone. On him or even Savelio was okay but if he started yelling at some other cop, they’d use it as an excuse to arrest him. Raul dragged the man into his chair, “Sit.”

“Coffee will help,” his partner said as she walked off to go retrieve some for the mobster.

He turned back to his new company. “How can I help you?”

Special Agent Popov turned his gaze from Ivo to him. “I was hoping to speak with you about your past.”

“My past?” he repeated in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“Your time with the Ñetas, detective.”

“Why do you care about that?” Savelio asked in his defense as she came back with a mug of black coffee. Their desks were in prime position – right next to the small break room. They had considered that lucky. Savelio handed the mug to Ivo, who took it like it was a life saver, and stood in front of the mobster like she had to protect him. Any other day, Ivo would make a joke about it. Today, he simply sipped his coffee in silence.

O’Brien noticed the difference and noted it with a single raised brow.

“I’m not trying to sound accusing,” Popov quickly added. “I’m curious because it seems they’re thinking of working in the city.”

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

“Are they?” he said steadily. He knew they had a faction over in Trenton but he never had worried about it because it was really just an offshoot. No one he knew was there.

“Yes. The maximum leader was here a few months ago; all the way from Puerto Rico. He brought some men too. They spent a month in Trenton but paid a visit to this fine city. Problem is, we don’t know who they visited. I was hoping maybe you might have an insight on what type of partner they’d be looking for.”

Savelio must be thinking what he was because her face was all scrunched in confusion as she asked “Why are you guys looking at a Latin group? I thought your focus was Eastern Europeans?” There came a snort from behind her.

Flicking a quick glance to Ivo, ADA Popov replied “Yes, but I like to look at all angles because really everyone ends up working with everyone.”

“What do you know?”

“That the maximum leader, Miguel Rivera, was here in August for a meeting with someone in the city. Along with him came four advisors and eight guards. The advisors are his brother Marcos Rivera, old friends Frankie and Tommy Santiago, and a recent appointee, his son-in-law Antonio de los Reyes.”

All names he knew. Raul had kind of been hoping that Miguel would have died by now. He wasn’t that old but maybe someone would have killed him or he would have had a heart attack.

No such luck.

The maximum leader was a terrifying man that had put Raul through a lot of hell. The advisors too. They were names you didn’t want to hear; people you didn’t want to talk to.

Except Antonio.

He and Raul had grown up together. Been friends since they were nine. They had done everything together.

Including joining up.

But Antonio hadn’t wanted to get out. He had never understood why Raul had made that choice. And when the time had come for the beating that would decide his fate?

Antonio had hit him the hardest.

No one expected Raul to get up from that beating. Hell, _he_ didn’t expect himself to get up from that beating.

It was simple. You want out?

Then survive the beating of a lifetime.

You against whoever showed up. Whoever had been dying to throw a couple hits. Or for many, whoever just enjoyed hurting people.

Somehow, by the grace of God, he had lived.

And here he was.

Fuck all of them.

“Names you know, Vidal?” O’Brien asked.

“Sadly,” he muttered while running a hand through his hair. Not really that easy of a task since he wore gel but he still tried. “They still in Jersey?”

ADA Popov shook her head. “No. But I’ve been catching some chatter that they’re coming back any day now for another meeting with whoever it is they came for the first time.”

“We were hoping you can help us determine who this new partner may be,” her husband added.

His eyes caught on the person leaving Donnelly’s office. “Can I get back to you guys? I need this meeting right now.” He dragged Ivo to his feet. “Let’s go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')


	125. Chapter 124

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sambamart
> 
> Did y'all know that the east coast (US east coast) doesn't have Carl's Jr? I spent ten days in New Jersey visiting family back in Dec/Jan and I was shocked and appalled. They have thee best burgers ever. Sadly they're expensive so I can only afford it once in a while or if I've got coupons. But yeah...seriously depressing that discovery.  
> What's that have to with anything?  
> Absolutely nothing at all. I'm craving a burger is all
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> _“It’ll fall under that ‘otherwise’ category.”_

It was awkward, to say the least.

And they hadn’t even spoken yet.

Taking in a deep breath, Ivo decided that he should start. He needed to tread carefully; he needed the help and he definitely didn’t want to fuck up Raul or Kehaulani’s jobs. They were damn good cops – some of the best really – and he didn’t want to be the one to ruin that for them.

He happened to like them.

As he was about to speak to the man who you wouldn’t think was so imposing just by looking at him, Savelio beat him to it.

Thank God, because really?

He still had no clue what to say to the sergeant who looked to have at least ten years on him.

“Sarge, we wanted to gain clearance to run a special police detail.”

“We?”

“Vidal and I, sir.”

The man nodded while rubbing along his cleanly shaven jaw. How this man made him nervous, he had no clue. The sergeant had a slim frame and was shorter than Ivo and yet you could practically feel the power residing in him. “What’s this detail? And how does it involve bringing the Lord of the Bulgarians into my office?”

A laugh wanted to erupt from him at his and Raul’s meekness and allowing Savelio to do all the talk. Yeah, what tough guys they were, was all he could think as she replied “It would be a protective detail, sir, and we’d be protecting the family of Lord Kavinsky. Specifically, a thirteen year-old boy who has a mark against his name for simply living.”

His stomach jittered a little. Joseph had a hit against him and he hadn’t done anything except be born. All because he was his son.

Some great father he was. Just his name fucked everything over.

“A thirteen year-old,” Sergeant Donnelly repeated slowly with a nod of thought. He looked to Ivo, “Your son, my lord?”

Now he had to speak whether he liked it or not. “Yes.” It was ingrained in him to never speak personal to anyone but he realized he had no choice when Raul nudged his foot with his own. “Joseph,” he continued. “Intel came to me a few days ago that both he and I could very much be on someone’s hit list. I, of course, have unending guards of my own that can be used and while I am using some, I…” _Need some fucking legal help._ “I think it’d be best if I had assistance from a…legal stand point.”

Nodding for a third time, Donnelly asked “Who is this someone?”

Irony time. “My uncle.”

“Guess family relations aren’t the best, my lord?”

It was a little sarcastic and Ivo felt his blood boil. But that wasn’t going to get him anywhere so he stamped it down as he got even more personal. Yeah, he really wasn’t liking this. “My uncle has hard feelings against my family for the simple fact that when my grandfather passed, he signed over his empire to his younger son – my father – instead of passing it down to the oldest.”

“Your uncle.”

“Yes.”

“Continue.”

Jesus fuck, legal help was expensive. “I imagine that my uncle harbored ill feelings for a long time until he finally decided that he was going to take what he believed was his. I think what pushed him into action was the fact that my father wanted to start bringing me in-”

“To prepare you for the position,” the sergeant interrupted.

Ivo nodded. “Exactly. The first day my father took me was the day he…” Fuck. Why did it still hurt so much? For God’s sake, how bad would he feel if he and his father had actually been close? “The day he died. Was killed, specifically. I didn’t know it at the time but my uncle had found those in the mob who would back him up in a coup. My father was sniped and I was to be next but…” _I slammed through the fucking window and ran like hell._

The sergeant nodded even though Ivo didn’t finish his sentence. He understood enough. “Fleeing happened, I imagine.”

“My mother must have been expecting something because she always had go bags ready for us and when I got home, she didn’t even bat an eye.” _Even though I was covered in her husband’s blood._

“So the uncle is now in the states hunting you down?”

“No. Well, maybe. Technically speaking, I am still heir back home. All I’d have to do is prove relations to my father and the empire is mine.” _Not that I want it._

He didn’t need that extra stress. Gray hairs and blood pressure and wrinkles and yeah.

Didn’t need that shit.

“And should something happen to you, technically speaking…”

“Joseph is heir.”

Yet another nod. The sergeant looked incredibly thoughtful as he contemplated all this in silence. “He needs to erase the bloodline which includes both you and your son.”

“Yes.”

“But you don’t know if he actually came here with that intent.”

Yulian had told him what he thought and Ivo figured it made sense. “A conclusion that has been come to is that he came here hoping to expand. His most recent location that we know of is Elizabeth to speak with the DeCavalcante’s. We believe that there is a very good chance that my name came up simply out of curiosity.”

Leaning back into his leather chair, Sergeant Donnelly stared at Ivo carefully, pure wisdom written in the man’s huge brown eyes. “A good conclusion. Now that he knows his potential competition is nearby, he’d need to eliminate any and all threats to his rule.”

“What we believe, yes.”

The heavy stare turned to Raul and Savelio. “Where do you fit in, detectives?”

The friends shared a glance before Raul straightened and replied “When I knew that Joseph’s life was in danger, I offered to Ivo a protection detail if he’d like. He agreed and I ran the idea by Savelio who also agreed to the thought. And we came to you for approval.”

Ivo was getting sick of all these nods and the little amount of words. “You went to a known criminal and offered him protection before asking for approval.”

He resented that. His record was nice and clean. Technically speaking, he wasn’t a criminal in the eyes of the law.

“A friend said his child is in danger and as an officer of the law, I see it as my duty to protect said child.”

The gaze flicked back to Ivo. “I’m going to be honest with you because you have been incredibly so with me.” In all irony, Ivo gave his own nod. “If you have a hit on your name, that is your problem. You have hundreds of men at your disposal, take care of yourself.”

He felt his heart drop thousands of feet. Yeah, he did have his own men but dammit, he needed the help. It wasn’t just Damyan who was after him; it was whoever he had brought with him and probably the fucking Italians too. They’d jump at the opportunity to get at his people after the shit show they made of themselves when they thought it was a brilliant idea to kill Timotei.

Two mafias was one too many for him to handle.

Sure, he had allies and alliances but the more people he brought in?

The messier this was going to get. Ivo was hoping for the absolute minimal damage with few lives lost.

The only one who was supposed to die was Damyan.

Him dying was definitely something that had to happen.

Without a doubt.

Plus, he wanted people he knew and trusted without a doubt around Joseph. Ivo had faith in the guards he had picked in that they couldn’t be bought off but having the detectives would be even better.

About to give one last plea, Ivo was interrupted before he could as the sergeant continued. “However, there is a child’s life on the line. And a child being harmed in my city is something that I try my best to never let happen.” Roving his gaze to all three of them, he notified “You have my approval. I’ll allow a detail.”

“Of how many, sir?” Raul inquired, looking as relieved as Ivo felt.

“You two and if you can convince anyone to join you. I will not force anyone.”

“Convince…” His friend let out a laugh, “This will be fun.”

“Good luck,” Sergeant Donnelly smiled in dismissal. He knew as well as everyone in this room how hard it was going to be to convince a couple of cops to want to protect a criminal they all wished hell upon. It didn’t matter that it was about Joseph.

His name was still attached.

Fuck.

  

* * *

 

“Anything else?” tetíncho asked him as he helped pack the last of Joseph’s stuff. They weren’t allowed to come to the house at all once they left so Joseph wanted to make sure he got everything he thought he might want or need.

“Uh…” He glanced around his room in it’s almost emptiness. Without some of his junk, it had no personality to it. “I think that’s it.”

“So you got everything you need?” Joseph nodded. “Everything Peanut needs?” Another nod. “Waddle?” A third. “Okay, good.” Tetíncho pulled the suitcase off the bed, sliding it to the floor beside the others.

Five others.

Joseph had a lot of junk. A month was a long time and that was even if the threat was taken out in a matter of a month.

Fingers crossed.

His mother had packed only two bags for herself and two for his father. But only his personal things; he’d do anything work related himself.

Maybe Joseph was excessive with six bags? But then, he did have to put in stuff for Peanut and Waddle and they took up space. And then there was his school stuff too. _Wait a minute…_ “I still get to go to school, right?”

“I wouldn’t have let you waste time packing school work if you didn’t.”

“Couldn’t it be dangerous though?”

Sighing as he sat down, tetíncho Yulian replied “If I said ‘can this wait until your father explains it’ would you listen?”

“Nope,” he answered as he sat beside his uncle. “Let’s hear it.”

“You’re going to have a guard.”

Whoa. “Like my own personal guard?”

“Yes. Your father decided on Asen even though the man generally doesn’t have ‘guard’ on his list of things he supposed to be or do.”

“Then why pick him?” Asen seemed nice the one time Joseph had talked with him. The man always smiled too. Joseph liked smiley people.

“He’s the only one he trusts to be around you twenty-four seven besides for myself.”

“Ah.”

“Yup.”

He wasn’t exactly opposed to a guard but… “Won’t I be a weirdo at school for having a guard?” He had enough issues as it was.

His tetíncho actually rolled his eyes. “Do you want to be safe or weird.”

“Obviously safe but…I don’t want people thinking I’m odder than I already am.”

“I hadn’t realized there was anything wrong with you.”

“Most people at school seem to think so.”

With a snort and another eyeroll, his uncle replied “They can go screw themselves.”

A laugh burst from his chest. “Okay then, I guess. Thanks.”

“No problem.” Standing, he reached for one of the bags. “Let’s load these up and get moving.”

Packing up everything into the SUV was exhausting. Packing Peanut and Waddle into their carriers and then the car was exhausting. Closing up everything in the house and shutting down the lights was exhausting.

Leaving home was depressing.

It wasn’t permanent but it still felt that way.

The work things, his tetíncho had ended up packing up while talking to Joseph’s father to determine what needed to be taken and what could be left behind.

Eight bags worth of things.

One? Joseph didn’t know they even had that many bags after all the ones he and his mother had used.

Two? He was shocked from the things that were packed. How in the world did his father hide them so well? Where had he even hidden them?

Arriving at his tétka’s was also depressing. Mainly because he already missed his house. She had, of course, been full of cheer at housing them and had even given an entire guest room to him with free rein to make it however he wanted. Decorate, move furniture, whatever.

Andrey dragged in the last bag and shut the door behind himself while Joseph opened his pets’ carriers to let them explore the room. “Should we start unpacking?” his cousin asked after he hoisted a bag onto the bed.

“I guess,” he sighed as he went to drag another bag up. Unpacking made it even more permanent. Adjusting would not be easy. “I like staying at your house but I think by the end of this month, I’ll be insane.”

“A little craziness never hurt no one,” Andrey joked while taking out some clothes from the bag. “I seem to be alright.”

“You sure?” he laughed. Apparently, ever since his voice had officially changed from ugly squeaks and cracks to deep stuff, his laugh was sexy.

Yeah, him. Joseph Kavinsky.

Sexy.

According to Anka, Ivet, and Alicia at least.

It’d be cool if Emilio thought so too.

Emilio had been lucky; he woke up one morning with a deeper voice just like he had wished. The jerk was incredibly fortunate because Joseph had been saving up lots of special hell for him. It wasn’t as deep as Joseph’s and definitely not even close to Andrey’s bass but to Joseph, he sounded perfect.

Just the way an Emilio should sound.

“Yes, I’m sure, jerk,” Andrey replied with a smile and a shove as there was a knock on the door and Anka came in.

She bounced over and gave him a tight hug. “Hola, Joseph.”

“Wattup, homegirl?” He hugged back with a smile.

“You sure you’re not crazy already?” Andrey snorted.

Rolling her eyes, Anka said “You guys are supposed to come downstairs. Your dad’s here and some other people we’re supposed to meet.”

Guards probably. “Let’s go then.”

Reaching the first floor, Joseph walked over with his cousins to where everyone stood. He only knew a few people – the obvious Mr. Vidal and Ms. Savelio, and Asen. Everyone else were foreign faces although he felt like he probably saw them at his grandfather’s and Venc’s funerals.

His father was leaning on the island and still looked like the mess he had been for the past few days. “Listen close all three of yous, alright?” They nodded. Straightening, his father said “This house will be under twenty-four hour surveillance. Meaning there will be guards outside and also inside. These faces,” his father gestured to the men he didn’t know, “are faces you need to memorize because these are the only faces you should be seeing. These men are the only men being assigned here. If you see a different face?”

“They’re a bad guy?” Anka supplied helpfully.

“You run the other fucking way and find one of these,” he pointed to the men again, “men who are going to help you. Understood?” They nodded. “Good. Next? If you don’t know these two faces by now,” he pointed to the two detectives, “then there’s something wrong with your brains. They are very obviously…”

“Friendly,” Anka finished with a sure voice. She laughed then added “Duh.”

A small smile grew on his father’s face as he nodded. “Duh.” He grabbed another man who had piercing blue eyes by the shoulder; something the man did not seem to appreciate as he made a slight face. “This here is Detective Finn O’Brien. Also a friendly. You trust his word like it’s any of ours.”

Joseph looked to Mr. Vidal who most likely had the answer. “How do you know he’s not a bad cop?”

The detective didn’t look happy at having his integrity questioned while Mr. Vidal replied “He’s a huge pain but he’s clean. I’ll swear if you’d like.”

Turning his gaze to the blue-eyed detective, Joseph asked “Why do you want to help? What do you get out of it?”

“To be honest-”

“That’d be a good idea seeing that I’m supposed to trust you with my life.”

That earned him smiles all around, even from Detective O’Brien. “I’ve known you’re father for a long while, kid. At least a decade, if not more. My actual job is to find a way to throw his ass in jail-”

“You’re bad at your job then,” Anka snorted.

“I should have guessed the kids would be like their fathers,” Detective O’Brien laughed while shaking his head. “My job in gang unit is to focus on the Bulgarians. But I’m an officer of the law who swore to serve and protect. Everyone. That’s my job. You guys are included in ‘everyone.’ Especially you because you’re an innocent child. I come from a long line of law enforcement, kid, and I do right by that.”

Arms crossed across his chest, Joseph shrugged. “Good answer.” He nodded to his father, “You can keep going now.”

“Thank you,” his father said in amusement. “Anyways, his word is as good as ours. These three cops are the only ones who you should be seeing around the house. Any others have no reason to be here and unless these detectives say they’re cleared, don’t trust them.”

“But you guys have always taught us to trust police,” Andrey pointed out in confusion. “Are we not supposed to now?”

His tetíncho took this question from where he was sitting on the kitchen counter. “Always trust the police, that’s not in question. But there is a high chance that that would be taken into account-”

“And the bad guys could be dressed as cops,” Anka murmured.

“Exactly.”

Joseph scanned his gaze over the men standing, plus Ms. Savelio. “So these are the absolute only people we should be seeing?”

“Besides for my own personal guard who you’ll be meeting later, yes,” his father answered. “Which brings me to the next point,” he pulled Asen over to him, “Asen is going to be your personal guard. Everywhere you go, he goes. Inside the house or outside it; doesn’t matter. You ditch him? You’re grounded for fucking life. Got it?”

As cool as the concept of a personal guard seemed, the actuality seemed to suck. “What about like the bathroom or shower? How’s that work?”

His father rolled his eyes because he knew Joseph knew exactly how it worked but Asen replied nonetheless “I’ll stand outside the door. I won’t invade your privacy in any way.”

Another thought occurred to Joseph. “In a hypothetical situation where I do something that my parents would not approve of, do you have to tell them?”

Asen scratched his head as he thought with the weight of his parents’ stares on him. “I suppose if it’s dangerous then yes. Otherwise, no. Your privacy is your own.”

“What counts as otherwise, Asen?” His father asked with a raised brow.

“Uh…”

“Do I call you ‘Asen’ or ‘Mr. something’ or…” Joseph interrupted to save the poor man.

Relieved with the change of topic, he replied “Just Asen is fine.”

“’Just Asen’ or ‘Asen,’” Andrey smirked with his eyes sparkling in humor.

“Asen,” the man laughed. “I was going to say ‘simply Asen’ but something tells me you’d all come up with something to say to that.”

“Good call,” Joseph laughed. He stuck out his hand for a proper introduction which Asen gladly took. “Nice to be working with you, Asen.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')


	126. Chapter 125

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> Dream stuff is always a complicated/confusing topic to work with. It literally never makes any sense and yet I b.s. it acting like I got it all figured out lol. Can you tell? I try making it seem like I totally got it
> 
> _"Because I’ve already laid into place our next move."_

_“You need to tell him.”_

Yeah, he knew that.

But it wasn’t the easiest thing in the world to tell his friend and current member of his personal guard that he was about to see people he hadn’t seen in years. People the man definitely _did not_ want to see.

Like twenty minutes before he was going to see them.

Unless they showed early.

Then even less.

Parking the car in his spot in the casino’s parking garage, Ivo didn’t immediately get out after turning it off. Raul already had a brow raised, knowing something was up. Yulian had told him two days ago that he needed to tell the former gangster about the Ñetas.

Damn Yulian and always being right.

“Spit it out.”

“Okay but you can’t get mad.”

“Oh dear God,” Raul muttered, “What’d you do that probably has just made my job a thousand times harder?”

“For the record, I resent that.”

“That’s nice; you resent a lot of stuff. Now what’d you do?”

Sighing and leaning back into the comfort of the racing seats of his Viper, Ivo replied “You remember when the Popov shits asked about-”

“Oh you bastard,” Raul interrupted with a groan into his hand, easily catching on. “You fucking bastard.”

“They’re good business,” he mumbled in his defense even though he really didn’t have to defend his actions against anything.

Groaning in some mix of annoyance and something else, Raul rested his head on the dash and muttered “I’m seeing them today, aren’t I?”

“Yeaahh…”

His friend groaned again in response while shaking his head where it rested. “I hate you.”

“Yeaahh…”

“You should have at least told me this morning and Savelio could have taken your detail today.”

“Yeaahh…”

“Don’t make me hit you.”

A laugh escaped his lips. “Pretty sure that’s in violation of your current job. Also, being that my life is a very hot commodity currently, you’d get into big shit.”

“Uhhhhh…fuck you…”

“So, let’s get moving before we’re late. I was late last time and I don’t think dear Rivera would appreciate that I do it a second time.” It had blown over well last time once the maximum leader heard the story of lost Waddle. He commended Ivo’s devotion to his child.

“Why were you late,” Raul sighed as he got out before Ivo did and checked the surrounding area. Once he decided it was clear, he gestured for Ivo to get out.

“Looking for Waddle.”

“It was that day?”

Walking to the side entrance of the building, Ivo replied “Yessir.” He couldn’t help but smile when there was yet another groan. “Stop whining and get yourself ready for some familiar faces, my dear detective.”

 

  

* * *

 

Was he considering murdering Ivo right now?

Definitely.

“They’re early,” Yulian notified as he met up with them upstairs on their way to the meeting room. His gaze flicked to Raul and he raised his brows.

“Yes, he told me. Five minutes ago.”

“Good,” the other man nodded.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Yulian shrugged. “Not my place.”

“Puhlease…” Raul rolled his eyes. “Excuses.”

“Stop whining,” Ivo laughed while Yulian opened the door for him. “Brace yourself now.”

Walking into the room behind the two men, Raul flicked his gaze over the five men he hadn’t seen in more than a decade and yet knew so well. His gaze caught with Antonio’s whose eyes went wide at the realization of who he was looking at.

“Raul?”

The maximum leader – Miguel Rivera – turned, along with the other men who were with him. The smile that Raul always hated came onto the man’s face as Raul took his position by the door. “Oh my, it is!” The stupid laugh erupted from the man. “What a surprise!”

He kept his silence and only raised a brow in response as Ivo took his seat at the head of the table, Yulian beside him. “Gentlemen,” Ivo said in lieu of greeting.

When Raul had offered a protective detail, the first thing Ivo had asked about was how he was supposed to work. Wasn’t Raul obligated to report what he heard?

After the sergeant gave his approval, Raul had asked as much. The answer was simple.

We do nothing.

_“Unless he is going to harm or kill someone, we don’t act. We are a protective guard, not an informant. We’ll respect that.”_

Any and all information that either he, Savelio, or O’Brien heard were to be kept to themselves – not written, not said. Ivo didn’t trust O’Brien entirely in that aspect so he only ever took Raul or Savelio with him to the casino and business was never conducted at home anyways.

“My Lord Kavinsky,” Miguel bowed his head in greeting. “I hope it’s not a problem that we’re early.”

“Not at all. Since we are not to officially start for another fifteen, perhaps a mug of coffee? I’m not good at small talk but I’m sure Lord Simeonov can manage something.”

He knew that Yulian would love to roll his eyes or make a face at Ivo but he simply smiled. Miguel also smiled and replied “Coffee would be appreciated. Thank you.”

“My pleasure.” He nodded to a man who Raul had learned was named Boyan. Pretty low down on the totem pole but useful.

Boyan replied with his own nod as he walked over to the mini makeshift kitchen behind Ivo. It housed a sink, mini fridge, and a coffee maker. Cabinets had various dishes and foods. The man took out mugs and began pouring, “All black, my lords?”

“That’ll do nicely, thank you,” Marcos Rivera – the maximum leader’s brother and highest advisor replied.

Bringing the cups over, he served first to the guests then to the rest who were seated. Boyan looked to Raul by the door. “Coffee?”

“Please. It’s the only thing that keeps me running.” He wanted to add that Ivo had already exhausted him but he wasn’t sure if that was being disrespectful in front of guests.

“I’m still trying to grasp that I’m looking at Raul Vidal,” Antonio said over the rim of his mug. His ex-friend looked the same, if just older.

“Grasp it,” he replied curtly while taking his mug from Boyan. He wasn’t down for any small talk with these people.

“Last I saw, you were in a hospital. Last I heard, you were in the police academy.”

“That is true, isn’t it?” Tommy Santiago said curiously. “Police work not work out for you? No longer wanting to ‘do the right thing?’ Be the better man?”

Amazing how they made that sound belittling. Taking a sip of coffee, Raul answered “First off, last you saw, I was bleeding out on the fucking floor where you left me. You didn’t visit the hospital and even if you had tried, mama would have thrown your ass out in less than a second.” That clarification was important. “Second, police work does me fine being that I am Detective First Grade Raul Vidal. Detective works just fine should you like to address me.”

Eyes were wide as they stared at him before Miguel’s head swiveled quickly to Ivo. He could see the anger written in his shoulders. “If I may inquire, my lord, why is there a pig in this room?”

God did he hate that name for cops.

Ivo was unfazed as he leaned into his chair and sipped his coffee. “Detective Vidal is currently part of my protective detail. A thing that will be talked about once our fifteen minutes of small talk have finished. Something incredibly important has changed since we last met. But have no fear, everything said here is in the dark and ends at the door. The detective’s mouth will not open.”

Miguel still looked unhappy but he nodded. “I have been told by many that if there is one thing that should be trusted from you, it is your word. And I will trust it now. I truly hope I will not be proved wrong.”

“You will not.”

“Very well then.” Miguel turned his focus back to Raul. “How has life been for you, _detective_?”

“I believe the small talk was to be taken with Lord Simeonov.” He wanted laugh at the quick annoyed look Yulian shot him.

“I’m more interested in what has been up with my old friend,” Antonio chimed.

A smirk broke onto his face; he couldn’t help it. “Ex friend.”

“Fine; ex friend. You still with the barista?”

It was weird but then expected that they had kept tabs on him after he got out. Probably just the first few months out of the hospital to see if he’d talk to the police. “Claudia and yes.”

“Claudia was a barista?” Ivo said in surprise. “Huh…the more you know.”

“She worked while going to school. That’s how we met. I went to buy a coffee and fell in love with the beautiful woman behind the counter.”

“So fucking cheesy,” Ivo snorted.

“You’re one to talk,” he muttered with a roll of his eyes. Only a second later did he realize how disrespectful it came out. This wasn’t Ivo he was talking to, it was Lord Kavinsky in front of these people. “My apologies.”

But even that came out in a mutter. He couldn’t help it; it was just how he and Ivo talked to each other.

There was a smirk on the mobsters face because this was all just so amusing to him. “Apology accepted, dear detective.”

Jesus Christ this was going to be a long day.

 

  

* * *

 

“…and this is my grandfather,” his mother pointed to a man in the photo. “Dyádo’s dad. He visited us twice here in America and brought the coolest gifts ever.” She turned to his tétka, “You remember, Nikol?”

They were going through some old photo albums that had been in the garage, spreading themselves out on the floor in the living room. A lot of them were from his grandfather’s house. The house was still theirs – the money of it to be split between his mother and tétka – but it was empty besides for the furniture. All the personal belongings of his grandfather had been put away into storage. His mother had once talked about renting the house out to someone but then they had decided against it.

Joseph agreed. He didn’t want strangers living in his grandfather’s house.

“They were amazing,” his tétka nodded from where she laid on her stomach on the couch near them. “We could never figure out how in the world they worked. It literally made no sense at all.”

“How would they not make sense?” Anka asked with a mouth full of donut.

“Swallow first next time and because we just couldn’t figure out how they’d function. Some things had no batteries but still worked or they’d do weird things that you wouldn’t even imagine.”

He started to choke on his own donut when he realized something.

This was her father’s father.

Hello?

His prádyádo.

The one who was just like him.

Who apparently gave out gifts that functioned in a way that no one understood. Understanding would have come to him though.

Because those things had to be dream objects.

“Do you guys have any of those anymore?” he asked in hope. He’d love to see some other dreamer’s work.

Depressingly, his mother shook her head. “Sorry, baby, nothing that I know of.”

“Too bad…” he trailed with a sigh. So close to maybe getting some understanding.

 _Wait…_ Couldn’t he still get that understanding? All that was needed was research. Digging into his great grandfather’s life. He couldn’t manage that on his own but…he had an idea of who could help.

Joseph would ask him later.

“Twice he visited?” Joseph asked while looking at the man in the picture. Too bad he wasn’t still alive. That would have been the most awesome thing ever. Meeting another dreamer? Someone who actually understood the struggles that came with that power?

That’d be a dream come true.

His tétka nodded. “Before mayko died and once after. I was…thirteen maybe? He died that year too. He’s actually buried here in the States. We all thought he’d want to be taken back to Bulgaria to be buried in the family plot but nope.” It seemed all his ancestors on his mother’s side had a huge plot of their own in Burgas.

 _Not at all odd_ … _why not be buried back home with family?_ “Where’s he buried?”

“In a totally weird place,” his mother snorted, “He made tate promise to bury him in a state park up north.”

“That’s…not at all shady.” His grandfather would have had to take the body in and then bury it at night.

Kind of freaky.

“Agreed,” his tétka laughed, “But that’s what he wanted. When he was dying, he was a little delirious and all he’d ever say was ‘I want home’ and ‘the real Kalina.’ Never made any sense.”

 _Home…state park…_ “Who’s Kalina?”

“His wife; your great grandmother. We never knew why he kept saying the ‘real’ Kalina when she was alive and by his side the whole time. Ironically, she actually fell into a coma about a month after he died. Super weird. They were meant to go together, I guess.”

Joseph was silent as he thought about this information while his family continued on through the pictures.

The real Kalina.

The real one.

Because the alive one wasn’t her? _But why…_ “What happened to her?” They stared at him in confusion, having already moved on from the topic. “Kalina.”

“Duh,” Andrey replied, “Coma. She just said that.”

“Okay but that was years ago. Is she still in a coma?” _Alive? Someone I can visit?_

His mother and tétka shared a glance. “I have no idea,” his mother responded in confusion. “I asked about a year after my dyádo died but tate told me I needn’t worry…”

“Now that I think about it…” his tétka muttered in thought, “Anytime we’d ask, tate would just write her off.”

Now that was definitely interesting.

Research time. But he needed two important things. “What are their full names? Prádyádo and prábaba.”

“Atanas Timotei Dobrev and Kalina Misho Goranov Dobrev. Why?” Joseph should have guessed his prádyádo’s name. It was basic tradition to name sons after family or grandparents. Hell, he was Joseph after Yosef. English spelling for some odd reason but his grandfather’s name regardless.

“Just wondering.”

 

 

Joseph flicked a glance to Asen seated in the bean bag on the floor, reading a book.

Yeah, Joseph had brought his bean bag. So what?

So far, the whole surveillance thing wasn’t too bad. It was a little weird having people around all the time and having to act like it was normal but little by little, a person got used to it.

Plus, Asen was actually a really awesome dude. Joseph didn’t mind having him around all the time. The only time the man went to his own home was when Joseph’s father came home. Then he’d say his goodnights and go check on his own family unless he still had something to do here.

They had also decided against Joseph going to school. Too much chance of danger, Mr. Vidal had advised. So his parents had somehow managed with the school that someone picks up his work for him and he does it at home.

Not such a bad thing, really. They really didn’t want him losing yet another grade.

“Hey, Asen?” Eyes flicked up from the book that was being read. “Can I ask a favor sort of thing?”

Looking curious, his guard replied “I suppose. Depends what it is, of course.”

“It’ll fall under that ‘otherwise’ category.”

“Oh boy,” the man sighed. “I knew you’d find a way to get me in trouble.”

Rolling his eyes with a laugh, Joseph replied “I’m not gonna get you in trouble. I just want you to check some stuff out for me. I can’t do it myself; no resources like you.”

“Resources that do not include the library?” Joseph nodded. The older man sighed again and finally said “Let’s hear it. But I make no promises.”

That was fine. He had another person he could try too should he need. “I want you to look up two people for me. Like everything. Records and all. I have full names.”

Now the flame of curiosity was really bright in his grey eyes. “Alright. Doesn’t sound like an issue.”

“Cool, cool. But you can’t tell no one.”

“Are you going to do something to these people?”

“Huh? Uh, no. They’re already dead.”

Asen looked relieved. Joseph would love to know what in the world he thought Joseph would or could do. “Oh, then no problem. I see no harm in it.”

 _Yesss…_ “Great! You’re awesome, you know that?” Asen rolled his eyes with a smile. “Okay. I need any and everything on Atanas Timotei Dobrev and Kalina Misho Goranov Dobrev. Please and as soon as possible.”

A brow raised. “Would those possibly be family on my lord Dobrev’s side?”

Joseph affirmed with a nod. “His parents. My great grandparents.”

Nodding, Asen said “No problem. I’ll see what I can dig up, my miniature lord.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')  
> Стринка (strínka) – a father’s brother’s wife


	127. Chapter 126

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> Anyone ready to be introduced to the big ass family of Damyan Kavinsky? Try to keep everyone straight lol. I had to write an index card of them in order and ages to keep them all right. Seven kids is a lot to keep track of
> 
> Enjoy and I'll see you guys Sunday. I know how much you guys are gonna miss me on Saturday ;)
> 
> Oh duh. So you guys probs noticed that there are two chpts up today. That's because the second one is super short. It's supposed to add suspense and stuff. Hopefully it works (even just a little)?
> 
> _“Have you checked in with our guest?”_

“So what are we going to do, tate?” Ilarion asked in his careful considering tone. Out of all his children, his eldest was the smartest. The thinker.

“Very good question,” he replied before a bite of his dinner. Talking business at the table was normal. What they did was a family business and was always treated as such. It even applied to his daughters; they were to marry within the mob or whoever they loved had to join.

Whoever they loved had to be Bulgarian, of course. He’d never allow for the blood of his family to be tainted by garbage.

“What are we supposed to do?” Rumen asked curiously. Out of all of his children, this one was the stupidest. The idiot. “Who cares that he’s alive?”

“We care, you moron,” Nayden snorted at his brother’s foolery. The second youngest, Nayden was bright but lazy.

At least he was bright.

“You know how much trouble it is that he’s alive?” Nayden continued. “Alive and beyond well, apparently.”

Lazar kept his mouth closed besides for when he’d slip a bite of food in. This one was as bright as Ilarion but the troublemaker growing up. Troublemaker but for the right reasons; Lazar always believed in helping and defending those who couldn’t themselves. _Shame he could hardly be called a man._ When the troublemaking wasn’t for a good cause, it was stupid pranks or stunts or ideas invented by a certain idiot.

Ever since he had found out Ivo was alive, his second oldest did not speak much. Damyan allowed him that much; he understood what his son was going through. Lazar and Ivo were the same age with only a few months between them. They had done literally everything together growing up. Their relationship suffered a bump, however, when Raina cheated with his son. Eventually, hard feelings had been buried and they had moved on.

“Who would have thought,” Raina murmured. She, like her husband, had taken more towards silence since the discovery of Ivo had occurred.

“Those men lied to us, tatko, when they said they had killed him,” Ilarion pointed out. “We were told that both he and Pavell had been taken out. Pavell was true but not Ivo it seems.”

So it seemed. He had been in quite the shock when Cesare – the current head of the DeCavalcante’s – had asked him why he shared the same surname as the Bulgarian lord in Hoboken. Confused as well.

_“What?” he asked in confusion. What other Kavinsky was there?_

_“The Bulgarian head in Hoboken. Ivo Kavinsky. Are you related?”_

_Ivo Kavinsky? No that couldn’t be right. Ivo had been killed; his men had made sure of it. “Ivo, you say?”_

_The Italian nodded. “Yes. Quite the bastard that man. It was our mistake though.”_

_“What was your mistake?” Ilarion inquired, looking as confused and curious as Damyan felt at hearing Ivo’s name. Could it truly be?_

_“Taking out Timotei Dobrev, the previous head and his father-in-law. We had hoped turmoil would occur, possibly a coup and Ivo would not hold power; that we’d take over. We underestimated him and the amount of power he has. Not to mention the loyalty he can apparently inspire. We didn’t see it coming.”_

_Another Italian – Fedele – added “We should have kept Lord Dobrev. At least then, we did not worry about having a psychopath on our doorstep.”_

_“Psychopath?” Damyan couldn’t help but ask. That wasn’t something he had ever thought his nephew could be described as. Annoying maybe. Brilliant, for sure. Angry, without a doubt._

_If he was a lord of a mob, he must have learned to cool that anger. No one would stand for a man who blew every second._

_Fedele snorted in a very large amount of contempt. “We told you of the Russian turmoil across the river?” Damyan nodded. They had been teaching him the players in the surrounding areas and wanted him to know of the weak Russians who, for years, were trapped in a civil war after the loss of their head. “We’ve come to realize that Aiken never stole a penny from Yakovlev. Never harmed a hair on his lord’s head even.”_

_“Then?” He had seen the photos of the Russian head Yakovlev. It was quite the artistry that he couldn’t help but admire. It sent a message._

_“The Bulgarian lord payed a visit to the Brighton bastards. Carved their lord up into pieces. Later, he killed Aiken which is why no one can find him. Cleaners probably. It’d explain why he spent time in the hospital around that time. Took a beating while fighting to the death.”_

_Ivo took out Yakovlev? What had been done to the Russian lord was not something he ever thought Ivo could manage. His nephew had fought tooth and nail with Yosef to not become a mobster. He had lost but he still had fought hard._

_“Interesting…” Ilarion murmured while leaning back into his chair. “How much power would you say he has?”_

_“Runs Hoboken like he owns it. His influence runs through practically every city in the state; fingers in all the pies. Even has one of the largest German businesses in New York on his side. Kavinsky is a force to be reckoned with, my lords.”_

_“Now we ask once more, what are the relations?” Cesare questioned. “Are there relations?”_

_Oh yes, there were. His dead nephew it seems wasn’t dead at all. “The son of my deceased younger brother.”_

_Eyebrow raising, Cesare nodded. “And how well are the relations with your nephew?”_

_Their future sponsor wanted to know whose side they were on. “I thought I killed him more than twenty years ago. It seems I was mistaken.”_

After that meeting, Damyan had started focusing his efforts on knowing everything possible about his nephew. He got his hands on every piece of information he could, down to his marriage certificate.

Damyan wanted everything.

“I know you guys made the choice already but…” Magdalina trailed off nervously, not making eye contact, “Do you guys really have to-”

“Yes,” Ilarion cut off his sister. “They threaten our legitimacy.”

Malina, unlike her twin, understood how important it was to have Ivo taken out. “We could lose everything, Dali, if they stay alive. Everything.”

Frustration filtered onto the older twin’s face as she glared at Lina. “I understand that. I understand that Ivo can’t stay alive but for God’s sake, you’re all talking about killing a child like it’s nothing. He’s but a little boy.”

Joseph.

That had been an interesting discovery.

What had been even more interesting was that the boy wasn’t to be groomed to take over.

Ivo was giving his son everything he had wanted.

His youngest, Ognyana, nodded her head. “I mean, what threat does a thirteen year-old have on us?”

Nayden shook his head at them. “His blood, you idiots. He carries on the line of chícho. That strikes against the legitimacy of our leadership. Duh.”

“So you’re all okay with killing a baby?” Dali asked in annoyance. She turned to him. “Seriously, tatko? A little boy? Practically a grandchild to you? The age of one of your grandchildren, for that matter.”

Children were something he did not often strike against. As his eldest daughter put it, they were just babies that presented no harm. But this one did.

Because he was an heir.

And the only heirs that should exist were his own children and grandchildren.

Not those of Yosef.

“We do what we must. Joseph presents a threat – threats are always removed. You know that.” A huff came from Lazar; Damyan looked to him. “Problem?” Clenching his jaw, his son shook his head. “Are you sure? Speak up now or forever hold your peace.”

“Nothing,” he answered although everyone could tell it wasn’t ‘nothing.’

“It’s the right thing, Lazar,” Ilarion spoke in, using a soft tone. He also understood his brother’s feelings. “They make us stand on shaky grounds; I know you get that.”

“I get it,” he murmured while staring at his plate of food. “I get it.”

“Very good,” Damyan nodded. He could tell he was going to need to speak with his son later, to help him really see how it was. How much of a threat Ivo and his spawn were. “Because I’ve already laid into place our next move. I think it’s one Ivo will not expect.”

  

* * *

 

In a matter of just one day, Asen had managed to get Joseph every piece of information he wanted. The man deserved something like a raise or a promotion because he was damn good at his job.

Joseph flipped through the papers he had on Kalina, his great grandmother. There was some weird inkling in his head that just maybe something was up with her.

That just maybe?

Maybe.

She was actually a dream object.

Well, dream person but same difference.

He just knew he had to be onto something.

“That’s all the records I could find,” Asen said as he sat down in ‘his’ beanbag chair. “Scrounged up everything I could on the pair. Some papers are in Bulgarian but I didn’t think that would be an issue?”

“Nope,” Joseph replied while looking at the papers. “I can read but if get stuck on a word, I’ll ask. Thank you.”

“If I asked what this is all for, would you tell me?”

Yeah that wasn’t happening. If anyone was ever going to learn about his dreaming power, it would be Emilio or even Andrey. Maybe even his tetíncho. But no one else. “I can lie to you if you’d like.”

“Figured as much,” Asen murmured while opening up his new book. The man liked reading as much as Joseph did. “Enjoy your research then.”

“I will, thank you…” he trailed while he read about his prábaba. Seems she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in her early forties.

Terminal.

And yet…she had lived longer than his healthy great grandfather before he had his stroke that left him bedridden. His prádyádo was… Joseph flipped through the papers he had on Atanas …sixty-seven when he had died.

She had survived with stage four ovarian cancer for twenty-one years? Was that even possible?

Time for more research. Thank God for the internet, right?

Jumping off the bed, Asen stood the minute Joseph started to walk to the door. “I’m just going to get tatko’s laptop from downstairs.”

“You know the rules,” Asen shrugged, “Unless of course you want to be grounded for life.”

He sure did love rubbing that one in. “Fine. Let’s go.”

Walking out of the room and downstairs, Joseph checked the room his parents were using as their own for the computer but found nothing. His mother was in the kitchen helping make dinner so he went to her to ask. “Mayko? Where’s tatko’s laptop? I need to borrow it, please.”

“Took it with him today,” she replied as she mixed a pot of something on the stove. “Sorry. Can it wait ‘til he comes home?”

“I guess,” he muttered. Research was on pause then. Sitting on one of the chairs at the island, he rested his head on the countertop while Asen sat down beside him. “Hey, Asen?”

“Yes,” he yawned while rubbing one of his eyes. Man, he looked tired.

“You can go sleep if you need it, you know. We’re home and the other guards are here.”

Placing his own head on the island atop his crossed arms, Asen murmured “I don’t sleep on the job. Good way to get fired, really.”

“Then take a nap while we sit here. I won’t move.”

The older man looked at him skeptically. “Really.”

“Swear.”

“Lies,” Asen snorted in a humored voice. “You can’t sit still doing nothing. It’s not in your nature.”

“Ain’t that the truth,” his mother laughed. “He’s always gotta be doing something to stay busy.”

Joseph rolled his eyes at the pair of them causing his tétka to laugh. “Ganging up on me like that? Shame on both of you.” Sighing, he straightened and asked “Can we sit outside? I think I’d like some air or something.”

“No,” Ms. Savelio called from where she stood by the door to the backyard. “Not a chance at night.”

Groaning because these were the parts of protection he hated, Joseph muttered “I’m going to die.”

“If you walk out the door, yeah maybe.”

“Detective!” his tétka said in a shocked voice. “Seriously?”

Ms. Savelio shrugged. “He’s not stupid and he knows the risks. Why hide from him the truth? It’s better that he understands.”

“You don’t tell a child that.”

Looking to his tétka, he pointed out “Technically, I’m a teenager.” He appreciated when they told him what was going on.

“A child,” she reiterated while crossing her arms. “You do not say those things to a little boy.”

“Teenager,” Joseph muttered under his breath as the front door opened to reveal his father, tetíncho, and Mr. Vidal. “Hi, guys,” he called to them. Maybe he could convince his father to let him out for some air. Being cooped up was craziness.

His father walked over and kissed the top of his head, placing his laptop bag on the island. “Hello. How was your day?”

“Boring. Can I go outside?”

“No.”

He rested his forehead on the countertop as he groaned again. “I don’t like being cooped up…”

“You won’t like being dead, either.” His father looked at his tétka curiously when she let out a frustrated huff as she turned back to the food. “What?”

“You’re not supposed to say those things to a little boy,” Joseph notified. “According to tétka and against what Ms. Savelio believes.”

“Ah.”

“Yeah,” he sighed. “I hate all this waiting and…waiting.”

His tetíncho grabbed a tomato from the salad and dropped it into his mouth. “Waiting is good. It gives us time to work out stuff.”

“Like?” Andrey asked as he came walking over.

“Alliances for one.” Joseph was surprised when Mr. Vidal made a face. “This is much more than a simple hit. Your father is a head of a mob-”

“It becomes a gang war,” Joseph finished.

Grabbing another vegetable causing his tétka to slap his uncle’s hand, tetíncho Yulian nodded. “Exactly. More players, much more messy.”

Andrey leaned on the back of Joseph’s chair. The stupid jerk towered over him like the giant he was. “So who’s on our side?”

“Technically, many but we don’t want to tap into everyone.”

“Way too messy,” Asen mumbled with his eyes closed, probably going for that nap now that Joseph’s father was home. “Uses too much resources that we don’t want to waste.”

Nodding and leaning on his forearms on the island, tetíncho continued. “Our players for this are, of course, ourselves and also the Ñetas. We’re-”

His head popped up as he interrupted “Hold up. The Ñetas?” Joseph turned to Mr. Vidal, “Like your Ñetas?”

“Sadly,” his friend’s father grumbled.

“Whoa, irony,” Andrey noted.

“We’re also looking into someone else should we need them,” his tetíncho continued from the interruption.

“What would cause you to need them?”

His father took this one. “Depends who Damyan brings in. Right now, it’s his people and the Italians in Elizabeth. But that family is attached to the five in New York and should they think it’s necessary, they’ll come in on it too.”

That answer wasn’t something Joseph liked. “That sounds like a lot of people.”

“Exactly,” his father nodded with a sigh. “So should we need it, Daniel will bring in the Irish who he works closely with. And should we really need it, I’ve got a Triad across the river who owes me one. And should we really really need it? I got some others both here and in New York.”

“So you’re connected.”

“Of course. But I’d prefer that I didn’t have to use all these connections. Gang wars are nasty, messy, and dangerous. Keeping it as small as possible is what we need. It can kill business and, obviously, people. It can put an entire city on lockdown.”

“So…” Andrey trailed, “If it got really bad, people can’t leave their houses? Innocent people start dying?”

“We’re hopefully not going to reach that point,” Mr. Vidal replied from where he was sitting on the couch. “Because if we do, I’m going to start arresting lots of people. Innocent people are not going to die on my watch.”

“Just criminals, huh?” His father asked.

“If I see someone harm or kill someone, I will arrest. Whether it’s you or Yulian or anyone in this room. I’ll do my job.”

“Hopefully no one in this room will get harmed,” his tetíncho murmured before another stolen vegetable was eaten. “Say your prayers.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')  
> Стринка (strínka) – a father’s brother’s wife


	128. Chapter 127

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> Can anyone guess the guest? You won't know for sure until Sunday. I hope you don't die in wondering. If someone guesses right off the bat, it means my suspense venture has failed lol. I'd need more practice
> 
> P.S. Next chpt there's a new Bulgarian word. It's been added to the dictionary already if anyone had noticed.
> 
> _“We don’t want him dead already."_

He opened his eyes.

And closed them back up.

The nausea was not welcome.

Breathing steadily through his nose to calm his churning stomach, he opened his eyes again very very slowly.

A bit better.

Blinking around the room, he knew one thing besides for the horrible pain in his wrists.

He was fucked.

  

* * *

 

“Have you checked in with our guest?” Damyan asked his eldest after Ilarion finished the phone call with his wife. She was pregnant and they hadn’t wanted her to travel so she remained back home in Sofia.

“Not since we brought him in,” Ilarion replied. “I’m sorry. Ella is not feeling too well, she was where my focus was.”

Damyan shook his head. “Don’t apologize. That’s where your focus should be if she is not well.”

Nodding while looking at the phone, Ilarion sighed and put it away while standing up. “Mayko took her to the doctor and they sent her home with medicine. As long as she takes it, she should be fine.”

“Very good.” He didn’t have time to worry about his daughter-in-law as of now. It was a good thing he had decided that his wife should stay home; she could look after her and the grandchildren. Bringing the entire family with him was important – it showed their strength and lineage. Their devotion to one another. Lazar and Ilarion were the only two married so only Raina had come. Damyan wouldn’t drag around boyfriends or girlfriends; they weren’t family before marriage.

Having all his kids here was a good choice. A show of strength was important.

Especially after their discovery of a certain someone. The last person in the world that Damyan thought he’d ever see again after the death of Yosef.

_Ivo’s eyes were huge as he stared down at the body of his father, head practically exploded all over the boy. Damyan waited for the second shot to ring out._

_It did only a second later but there was no second body drop._

_In the millisecond between shots, Ivo had already dropped to the floor beside his father’s body. He looked as though he was removing something before he did something Damyan had not accounted for._

_But then, he should have because his nephew was always the reckless one out of both he and Yosef’s kids. If someone got in trouble from his kids – especially Lazar – it was usually because of some stupid idea of Ivo’s._

_Standing quickly, Ivo used all his force and slammed through the window, glass flinging everywhere from the impact of his body. Damyan quickly stood and rushed to the window, thinking that at least a leg was broken or something from the drop._

_But no._

_He watched as his nephew ran as though hell lapped at his heels while quick shots rang out, the sniper not having time for proper aim._

_It was no problem; how far could a boy of sixteen get before they caught up?_

He shook his head, clearing himself from the memory. Far, apparently.

Very far.

  

* * *

 

He hummed in the silence. Sometimes humming helped him calm down and forget his surroundings. What he needed to forget was both his surroundings and the pain he was in. His head was throbbing, his stomach on the verge of throwing up what little it had in it, and his wrists were on fire.

Horrible, horrible fire.

Not to mention the ache in his arms.

_Just keep humming…_ People liked to laugh at the way he hummed. The way he used it as a way to cope. People were always good at attacking the way a person survived.

“Screw them,” he whispered into the silence. He had no clue where the hell he was but he didn’t like it regardless.

It seemed like a place where screams were lost to the world.

A place where he might never be found.

Somewhere in which the pain of hell was inflicted in the waking world.

Oh yeah.

So fucked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather   
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')  
> Стринка (strínka) – a father’s brother’s wife


	129. Chapter 128

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> Did anyone guess that this dude is the guest?
> 
> _"He was probably tortured until he died from his abuse."_

“Oh my,” Lina admired as she walked into the room behind him. “My, oh, my.”

Lazar ignored his younger sister as he stared at their guest.

He felt bad. Guilty.

It was eating him alive.

Four years after it happened did he actually learn the truth about chícho Yosef’s death. About Ivo, Pavell, and strínka Emiliya. For four years, his family had been lying to him about the truth.

That it was their fault that they were dead.

The day it happened, he remembered Ilarion relaying to him the news that some rival had taken out their family.

No survivors.

He had spent a month bedridden from the news; the first two weeks were filled with constant tears. It was crazy – his family had been murdered. Ivo was his partner in crime; they had done everything together. Even after the shit with Raina had happened they had been close.

And then he was gone.

Dead.

Never to be seen again.

And then four years later, Ilarion tells him the truth. That they did what had to be done.

Lazar had never felt so disgusted in his life. But it was too late; the past was the past.

Except now here they were. Ivo was alive and well. He had a family.

A child.

Now his family wanted to take everything away from his cousin all over again.

Except this time, Lazar knew before hand.

So what was he going to do about it?

That?

He had no clue.

“Right?” Ilarion replied to Lina.

“Can we keep him? I really like,” she laughed as she walked up to the man named Yulian. Ivo’s brother-in-law is what they had learned. Some form of advisor as well.

Extremely expensive in worth.

Yulian simply glared at her from where he hung from his wrists from a metal rod. There was less than a foot between the man’s feet and the floor but it wasn’t enough for him to stretch and touch down to relieve the stress his hands and arms must be feeling. Every couple minutes, he would use whatever strength he had and lift himself to keep his arms from going stiff and the blood flow going.

They – probably Ilarion or Nayden – had stripped him of his shirt, ‘prepping’ him for whatever torture they planned for the man. With eyes like ice, Yulian watched as Lina stood with only a few inches between them.

His sister was single and she liked the world knowing.

She placed her hands on his sides and started to press with her fingers, like she was massaging. “I think I really like what I see.” Lina had a thing for blondes, if Lazar remembered right even though Yulian’s hair was a little darker than her usual type. “And I think I’d really like to taste what I see.” Starting from below his navel – right at the start of his underwear from where they peeked out from his jeans, Lina licked her way up in one stripe, as far as she could on the tall man. “Yum,” she smiled to Yulian.

Cocking his head to the side, Yulian gave her a charming half smile.

Then slammed his knee into her stomach.

Yanking his bent over coughing sister to him – a safe distance away from the hanging man – Lazar watched as Ilarion punched him in the gut, driving out all of the other man’s air. Now both his sister and Yulian were practically wheezing, trying to catch what they had lost.

“Don’t touch my sister, you filth,” Ilarion snarled as he slammed another fist into him.

Coughing and trying to catch his breath, Yulian said his first words since they had brought him this morning. For some reason, Lazar hadn’t expected such a deep voice or the heavy Jersey accent. “Your sister is the filth, beotch.”

Those words pissed him off but Lazar did nothing besides for keep Lina close. Ilarion, on the other hand, was more than happy to slam one into Yulian’s junk. The man groaned in pain and tried to lift his legs in a way to cover himself but had little strength after the punches.

“Enough,” his father called as he walked in with Nayden. “We don’t want him dead already. He needs to make himself useful first.” Walking up to Yulian much like Lina had, his father asked “You know who I am?”

Yulian’s answer was simple.

He spit on Lazar’s father.

This dude had balls despite them currently being bruised.

His father held up his hand to stop Ilarion from throwing another punch while Yulian lifted himself for a few seconds to relieve his pain. Wiping the spit off with his sleeve, his father smiled then struck Yulian with his own punch.

“Take down our guest,” his father said as he sat himself down in a chair across from another. “Give him a chance to breathe.”

Ilarion followed his father’s words in a heartbeat. _Doesn’t he always?_ Nayden joined him to help take down the bruised mobster and they dragged him to the chair opposite to their father, tying him down. Yulian breathed heavily but his eyes were still hard and defiant.

Lazar liked this guy.

“Now my dear Yulian…or do you prefer Lord Simeonov? Which is it?” The only reply was a glare. “Very well, Yulian it is. My dear Yulian, you’re going to be my pretty bait. What do you think about that?”

The other man was silent as he continued to catch his breath, rubbing his wrists as best as he could while he did. Finally and still a little breathless, he replied “I think you’re the stupidest man to ever exist.”

“Do tell why,” his father snorted. “Educate me, Yale boy.”

“Why? I thought you credit yourself as a genius, Damyan.”

“Perhaps I’m curious of why you think.”

The blonde nodded as he glanced at the occupants of the room. His gaze landed on Lazar and Yulian contemplated him carefully with those abysses of his. Eventually he turned back to his father, “You’re messing with someone you really don’t want to be messing with.”

That caused his father to laugh. “If you mean my nephew, I’m not even close to worried.”

“No?”

Lazar was. He had been doing as much as research as his father and Ilarion had been. What he was finding out about his cousin wasn’t stuff he liked. Stuff he never imagined Ivo would do.

“No. I know my nephew; I know who he is and what he’s like. He does not worry me.”

“Then you’re as stupid as I give you credit for. And the DeCavalcante’s are even stupider than I already know they are. Stupid people deserve stupid people, I suppose.”

He could get behind that. It didn’t make any sense why his father wasn’t worried. Hadn’t he read the same stuff Lazar had?

“There will never be a day that I will be afraid of a man half my age. A man who is insane to the point that he hears voices in his head. Do you know that your brother-in-law is a crazy man?”

Yulian’s face was completely blank from this revelation and question. It was definitely news to Lazar; Ivo heard voices? This wasn’t something he ever knew. But now that he thought about it…

_Ivo was massaging his temples as he sat beside Lazar on his bed. His cousin had come over because he needed help with his homework but for the past ten minutes, this was literally all he had been doing._

_“Do you want like medicine or something?” When Ivo had first walked in, he had complained of a headache. Maybe that was the problem._

_Shaking his head, Ivo huffed and turned back to his work. “It’s nothing. Just too loud.”_

_“Loud…” Lazar trailed in confusion. There wasn’t a sound through the whole house. Everyone was out today besides him mother and she was sleeping after having put Nayden down for a nap. “Ivo, there’s no noise.”_

_His cousin turned to look at him, then glanced around the room while biting his lip. His gaze rested on the little tv Lazar had in the corner. “It’s off…”_

_“Yeah, it’s off. Has been the whole time. Are you okay?”_

_Eyebrows scrunching in confusion, Ivo looked from him to the television and back. He rubbed his temple again and whispered “I think I’m gonna go home.”_

_“You barely got here. And we haven’t done our homework yet.” Something weird was up, that was for sure._

_Shaking his head, Ivo began to quickly pack up his things. “I need to go home. I need…I just have to go. It’s too loud here.”_

_Why did he keep saying that? “There’s no sound. What are you talking about?”_

_“Nothing,” Ivo answered quickly as he got off the bed and grabbed his backpack. “I-I just have to go.”_

“Oh, so you do know?” His father smiled as Yulian continued to hold his silence. “What’s it like working for a deranged retard?”

“I suppose you would have to ask your kids that question, don’t you think?”

Seconds later, Yulian was choking on his breath when his father slammed him another one. “You think this is all some funny joke, don’t you?” his father hissed while yanking Yulian forward by his hair. “This is funny to you? Do you get that you are going to die? Not today, I will make you that promise, but soon. Very soon.”

Smiling in his father’s grasp, Yulian replied “Do _you_ get that you are going to die? Not just die; you’re going to suffer so horribly. Worse than Yakovlev. You took away Ivo’s life and now you’re trying to do it again. Threatening people that mean more to him than anything at all. You’ll be begging for mercy before he even starts with you. You’ll be screaming and crying and all he did was smile. You think you know your nephew, Damyan, and you couldn’t be more wrong. I hope you’re ready to face him.”

His father yanked harder and snarled into Yulian’s ear “I beg mercy from no one. You, however, will be groveling for some by the time I’m finished with you. No one is coming to save you, Lord Simeonov.”

“Wrong,” Yulian laughed. “So fucking wrong.”

“Oh? And who do you think is going to come for you?”

“He doesn’t need to come. He just needs to play the game you started. Ivo is very good at games.”

Laughing, Ilarion snorted “This isn’t a game, Yulian.”

“Isn’t it? There is always bait in games. Aren’t I the bait?”

For some reason, Lazar felt like Yulian wasn’t worried in the slightest. It was like he knew something they didn’t. Or maybe the man just had that much faith in Ivo?

“I suppose I said that, didn’t I?” his father noted while releasing Yulian with a shove.

“Yes, yes, you did. So now you get what you want. Because by kidnapping me? You just unleashed it.”

Lazar stared hard at the man before him. “Unleashed what?” The piercing gaze turned on him, a smile accompanying it.

“The raging monster.”

 

* * *

 

Voicemail.

Again.

Again.

And fucking again.

Something was horribly wrong. So horribly, horribly wrong.

“Raul,” Ivo murmured to the man seated beside him in the meeting room. They were alone today.

Well, they weren’t supposed to be.

Yulian was supposed to be here hours ago.

Ivo hadn’t wanted to give in to his worry. He kept telling himself that his brother-in-law would pick up this time. And then the next time.

The time after that.

And the one after that one.

Over the course of hours, not a single call had been returned.

He was officially worried now. Something was telling him that the idiot didn’t just forget his phone somewhere.

“Hmm,” his friend hummed in response while reading the newspaper.

“Yulian’s still not answering. Something’s wrong. Something happened to him; it’s the only thing that makes sense.”

Raul nodded slowly as he set the newspaper on the table. “We can try tracking his phone.”

“Why aren’t you panicking like I am?”

A small smile came upon the detective’s face. “My job is to not panic so I can help those who are. We’ll track his phone and go from there. I’ll call Savelio too, so she can make sure they have extra tight security on the house. Sound good?”

Ivo nodded. It’d have to be good enough.

 

 

The storm they had been expecting for the past few days had finally broke and the downpour was making searching difficult. They had a basic location for Yulian’s phone but searching in this rain was ridiculous.

But Ivo wasn’t leaving until he found it.

Fuck pneumonia.

“Anything?” Raul called over the roaring of the rain from where he was checking across the street. They had found Yulian’s car but it was empty. The phone must have died because now it wouldn’t ring when Ivo called.

Fucking fucks.

He was soaked down to his fucking bones, cold as fuck, but he wasn’t leaving. “No!” he called back while checking the floor and under cars. “C’mon…”

Raul came jogging over and said “Let’s look at it differently.”

“How so?” he asked in frustration. He was losing what little patience he had since the discovery of his uncle. Yulian was like a fucking lifeline for him.

He God fucking needed that stupid piece of shit.

“Let’s go beyond assumption and say for sure that he was taken-”

“He’s a fucking grown ass fucking man!” Ivo shouted. Yeah, that patience was long gone. “You can’t just snatch him off the street like he’s two!”

A hand was placed on his shoulder, grasping him firmly. “Stop and calm down. You need your head about you right now and this isn’t going to help. You’re upset, you’re frustrated, you’re angry. I get it. But. You. Need. To. Calm. Down.”

Clenching his fist because, dammit, he needed to hit something, Ivo breathed through clenched teeth. _Stop, calm down; it doesn’t help._

_“When you stop yelling, I will listen,” his mother replied as she walked past him to their little kitchen in their miniscule thing you couldn’t even call an apartment. Could barely even call a fucking room. “I do not waste time listening to useless noise.”_

_“If you would listen, I wouldn’t be yelling!” he shouted after her retreating form. “Just LISTEN!” She continued to ignore him and even starting humming as she took out the little bits of leftovers they had from the fridge. “I’M TALKING!”_

_“You are not talking, you are yelling. When you are calm, when you can speak in a dignified manner, I will gladly listen to everything you have to say. But not until then.”_

_Ivo blew an angry frustrated breath before he slammed a clenched fist in the paper thin wall, the force of it making a hole. His breaths were heavy as he shut his eyes and tried to settle his frustration and anger. When he opened his eyes and removed his fist, he turned to look at the now angry form of his mother._

_“And where, Ivo, are we to get money to pay for that? Do you feel better? Did it take away your anger?” No, it didn’t and she knew that but was asking to rub it into his face. “You need to learn to control your anger. Control it and calm yourself.” She walked over and grasped his hands in hers, holding them tight with her voice going soft. “Calm yourself, my beautiful child. You needn’t be so hateful and angry at this world.”_

“Calm yourself,” he whispered after he shut his eyes tight, his fists clenched at his side as he struggled to control his anger. His frustrations.

His fear.

He was afraid. Had been since he had learned Damyan was here. Not just Damyan but the whole family.

People he used to love.

People who helped ruin his life.

And now they were trying to do it all over again.

They hadn’t gone anywhere where he expected them too. Never in their minds did they imagine that Yulian would be a target. So they hadn’t taken any precautions.

How fucking stupid was he? He should have known; should have guessed. How was he supposed to go home to the man’s house and tell Nikol that he could very possibly be dead? How was he supposed to tell his nephews and nieces that he had lost their father?

“If they took him, they would have either have had to threaten him or they doused him with something, right?” Raul was trying to get Ivo’s brain on track. “Right, Ivo?” He nodded quickly. “Okay. Now they didn’t take the phone with them which means they threw it somewhere. High chances that somewhere is here. Let’s look again a little harder, okay?”

“Okay,” he breathed carefully, trying to steady his furiously beating heart. “Okay.”

Ivo would save his stupid bastard.

He could do this.

  

* * *

 

Was he worried?

Yeah, maybe a bit.

Dying was incredibly unfavorable.

Scratch that.

Extremely unfavorable.

But Yulian had faith. Not faith in God although he did believe in Him.

Faith in Ivo.

He’d save him. He wouldn’t let him die.

No way.

Even if it was just to prove that he wouldn’t let Yulian die, Ivo would see it done.

They hadn’t wanted an entire war to happen.

But fuck if Ivo wasn’t going to start one now.

And after having spent hours being beaten, tased, and burned?

Yulian was sure as fuck down for one.

He hoped Ivo killed every single one of these bastards.

Make way for the Lord.

 

 

Lord Kavinsky that is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')  
> Стринка (strínka) – a father’s brother’s wife


	130. Chapter 129

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> We switch like four povs in this one. Sorry? idk. Keep up lol  
> Also?  
> Body drop numero uno
> 
> _"I want you to watch as I cut your testicles out. Don’t worry, you won’t miss them.”_

Joseph didn’t know what was going on but he knew one thing for certain.

It was something bad.

Very bad.

Because the minute his father and Mr. Vidal had come home soaking wet from the storm, they had been _ordered_ to get their asses upstairs.

Actually ordered.

He and his cousins had gone upstairs while glancing weary looks at his very angry looking father. Anka had grabbed Timotei while Andrey somehow managed Albena.

“What do you think is wrong?” Anka whispered with Timotei sitting in her lap. They had huddled into Joseph’s room. They had been planning on shutting the door anyways but a guard came, shut the door, and literally stood like a police warden outside the door so they wouldn’t leave.

No eavesdropping that way. Although, they all swore they heard something that could have been yelling.

The whispering was technically unnecessary but for some odd reason, they were too afraid to speak up. “Something really really bad,” Joseph murmured in response, the rain a backdrop for his voice.

It hadn’t escaped his notice that his tetincho hadn’t come in with his father. He didn’t think it had escaped his cousins’ notice either.

“Do…do you think someone got hurt?” Andrey asked hesitantly while trying to fix Albena’s mess of hair. He didn’t do an entirely good job but it was better than before. The girl was like a tornado. “I hope not.”

“You and me both.”

Eventually after what felt like hours, there was a knock at the door and Mr. Vidal came walking in. Shutting the door behind himself, he gave a small smile to them and asked “Can I sit with you guys?”

Something definitely happened if they sent the cop to come and explain the situation to them.

Anka nodded but she looked worried. Joseph was sure that they all did as Mr. Vidal sat down on the edge of the big bed. “I-”

“Have some bad news,” Andrey interrupted, “Yeah, we can tell. Please just get to it.”

Mr. Vidal nodded slowly while gazing around their faces. Finally, he said “First, understand that everything is being done-”

Andrey was looking annoyed. Maybe he was like Joseph and was wondering where his father was and why he was the only one who hadn’t come home today. “Mr. Vidal.”

Sighing while shaking his head, Mr. Vidal murmured “Yulian’s missing and we’re ninety-nine percent sure that Damyan has him.”

The three of them stared at the detective before them. Albena was too little, she didn’t understand and obviously Timotei was way too small.

But they understood.

His uncle was in a lot of deep shit right now.

And that was if he was even still alive.

“H-He was kidnapped?” Anka whispered in fear, her eyes wide and the beginning of tears forming. “Taken?”

Mr. Vidal nodded. “Sometime this morning.”

Practically ripping his thumbnail apart, Andrey questioned in a shaking voice “Kidnapped means he’s alive though, right? Alive, Mr. Vidal?”

“As far as we can deduce, yes, we believe he’s alive.”

“But…” Joseph murmured, “You don’t actually know.”

“For sure, no we do not. But we have very high hopes and reasonings to back up these hopes.”

Wiping tears from her face, Anka asked “Is mayko okay? And are we going to tell dyádo and bába?”

Crossing his legs up on the bed, his friend’s father replied “Your mom’s going to need some time but your tétka is with her and she’ll help her out. And, of course, all the adults here are here for you guys should you need anything, even just a shoulder to cry on. As for your grandparents, that’s up to Ivo. This isn’t a police matter anymore. Savelio, O’Brien, and I have officially been removed as of tonight.”

Joseph stared at him in surprise. “What do you mean removed?”

“Exactly as I said.”

  

* * *

 

_“This isn’t your business anymore,” Ivo said quickly as he cleaned off the dining room table. “You and your detectives are done.”_

_“What the hell do you mean ‘are done?’” That made absolutely no sense. They had officially come to the conclusion that Damyan had Yulian. Raul had been surprised that Ivo didn’t break something right then and there._

_Maybe it was because there were no breakables within sight._

_“Exactly as it sounds,” he replied, putting a box of whatever on the table. “Start packing and get the hell out.”_

_“Ivo, you need me now more than ever. Yulian is missing-”_

_“I FUCKING KNOW! I’M FUCKING AWARE, OH GREAT DETECTIVE!” Ivo shouted while slamming another box onto the table. The guards in the room were trying their best not to stare but weren’t entirely successful. From the corner of his eye, he noticed Savelio had moved a little closer to him along with O’Brien. Raul knew he wouldn’t need it but it was nice knowing they’d back him up in case something happened. “I fucking know,” Ivo seethed._

_Raul wasn’t giving up that easy. “Then let me help.”_

_Anger was flashing through his eyes, his still wet hair plastered to his forehead. “You can’t help me the way I need it. This is no longer your game, detective. I am forever grateful for what you three have done for the past weeks but it’s over now. Pack up, go home.”_

_He knew exactly what this meant as he watched Ivo and Asen roll out two maps. One of Hoboken, one of Elizabeth._

_Damyan had touched what he shouldn’t have._

_And now Ivo was going to make him regret it._

_The time for waiting was over._

“Detective!” Milan Popov called as Raul walked passed him, entering the precinct. He preferred avoiding the Popovs as best he could. They gave him headaches and he just didn’t like them anyways. He had hoped he had walked fast enough. Apparently not, it seemed as Milan came after him.

“What.” He didn’t have time for bullshit parents right now, especially before morning coffee. A gang war was going to erupt and he may not be gang unit but he wasn’t going to sit idly by when innocents could get caught in the crossfire.

Special Agent Popov grabbed his arm to slow him down. Whipping around and yanking his arm away, Raul questioned “What?” He didn’t have any patience either.

“I wanted to ask you something about the Ñetas-”

“You have a computer, go use it. I have not been with them for decades.” Obviously, he wasn’t going to mention that he had seen them a few times in the last few weeks. “You’ll get far more information from records than from me. Now if you’ll excuse me.” He began to walk off but Popov darted in front of him.

_Why are you stalling me?_

Stalling.

Flicking a quick glance around the tall man, Raul looked towards his and Savelio’s desks. There was no one but seconds later, ADA Popov appeared next to her husband with a smile.

Raul always trusted his hunches.

And as of this moment, he had a new one.

These bitches were dirty.

Did they work with Damyan? Or maybe just for the highest bidders which could be Damyan or the DeCavalcante’s?

As if his headache didn’t have enough to deal with.

“Vidal!” His sergeant called as he walked over to them. Why did everyone need him today? “Got something for you and Savelio. Bring in O’Brien too.”

If they had to bring in O’Brien, then it was gang related. And the only reason they would want a co-investigation between them and gang unit was because of one group.

The Bulgarians.

“Body drop?”

His sergeant nodded. “Fedele Palermo.”

Oh damn.

Ivo hit hard.

“Who’d be stupid enough to go after Fedele?” Special Agent Popov asked in shock. “That’s the underboss. It’ll cause utter mutiny.”

Not stupid enough.

Angry enough.

Sergeant Donnelly focused on Raul. “Round them up. Get going.”

 

 

Raul stared up at the body hanging from the lamppost in front of Dino’s. That was if you even wanted to call it that.

The body was such a mess, you could barely even tell that it was actually a person and not a really good Halloween prop. He was almost entirely skinned except in some choice places. The only reason they had known it was Palermo before DNA or teeth records was because his telltale tattoo over his heart was very much intact and his I.D. was on him.

Also the huge gold cross necklace that the man had been proud of more than anything. Everyone who worked around or with gangs knew it was his. It was what was currently hanging him along with a rope for, what he guessed to be, extra support.

Palermo was stripped down to how he came into this world. Except when he came into this world, his genitals weren’t a pile of almost mush underneath his suspended body. It was like someone stepped on them or something.

He actually cringed from that mental image.

The other half of his torso – the right – was completely skinned to the shoulder, his ribs on display for the world to view. Inside, it looked like it was just an empty cavity from what Raul could see. _I wonder where the organs went…_

The Italian underboss’ face was hardly even a face. Palermo had been scalped by the looks of it and his eyes were gone along with the ears and nose. There was also the obvious half his head having been blown off by some type of gun. The mouth looked untouched and Raul wondered if it was because Ivo had wanted to hear the man beg for his life.

As for the location, it was largely symbolic.

It was where Timotei had been killed.

“My question is,” Savelio started, “why bother to blow off his head when you hang the guy? What is it that killed him? He’s such a mess, I can’t even tell.”

The medical examiner who was waiting for the techs to finish taking pictures so they can take the body down replied “I want to say the trauma. He was probably tortured until he died from his abuse. There was no ‘killing blow’ exactly. His body just couldn’t take anymore. So, he didn’t even die from the hanging or the bullet. Those are just decorations.”

His partner nodded but asked “Okay, makes sense but then why the hanging, why the bullet to the head? Why the need to ‘decorate?’”

“The hanging is to put him on display,” O’Brien answered. “He gets found easy and he’s a message. As for the blasting of the head-”

“It’s to make sure they know who did it,” Raul interrupted. “The location, the mess of his head.”

“Kavinsky,” O’Brien nodded.

“Kavinsky,” Raul murmured with a nod. Ivo wanted to make sure they knew exactly who was coming for them. Combined, the DeCavalcante’s and Damyan had taken away two very important people from him in a distinct way that was similar.

They wouldn’t mistake this hit to be from anyone else.

  

* * *

 

“I have a dead man!” Cesare shouted with a pound of his fist onto the beautiful cherry wood table. “While your brood is untouched!”

That had confused them all. Ivo had made a move but it wasn’t against him. Damyan didn’t understand it; why kill Fedele? “I am blessed that my children are unharmed and as I said many times over, I’m sorry for your loss. None of us expected it.”

“You said you wanted to take care of him and all I see is that you set him off in some way. What did you do, Damyan?”

It bothered him that they refused to call him Lord Kavinsky. To them, that was Ivo. So all he got to be was ‘Damyan.’ It was incredibly disrespectful for someone of his status.

“We made a move,” Ilarion replied in his meticulous tone. “We may have miscalculated in what he’d do in response.”

Cesare looked furious. “Miscalculated, he says. And what idiotic move did you make?”

It wasn’t idiotic; it was smart. Bait Ivo with Yulian then take them both out.

Then the child was an easy target with no one in the way.

“We have Lord Simeonov in our custody,” Nayden answered.

The Italian did not like that answer if his flaring nostrils were anything to go by. “You kidnapped an advisor? You kidnapped a man of his position? Are you idiots mad! Do rules mean nothing to you!”

Rules.

Damyan didn’t like rules.

So he made his own.

Codes of honor and conduct and all that other garbage was a waste of time. Hindered everything.

“Not only is he a respectable man of high position but he is his brother-in-law you fools!” Cesare shook his head in utter disgust, “You broke the laws and you have turned against his family. This is different than putting a hit on his name you imbeciles. You have turned this personal. The last ones who did that are dead; half of them tortured beforehand.”

They had never told the Italians that they planned on killing Ivo’s child as well. And after this reaction, Damyan didn’t think they ever would. He didn’t think they’d take to that idea kindly.

“Tell me, Damyan, that you were not stupid enough to harm the man. I have already paid for it with a life.”

“Of course I haven’t touched him,” he smiled in his lie. “He’s my esteemed guest.

  

* * *

 

He was allowed to sit on the floor now.

That was how much of a mess he was.

Everything hurt and no matter how many times he tried to get up, he just couldn’t manage it. They didn’t even bother with restraints because they knew that he wasn’t going anywhere.

Especially not after they broke his leg for his first attempt.

There was a noise and then the door opened. Yulian was too tired to care, so he kept his eyes shut. A toe nudged him and then he felt someone crouch down beside him. “Water if you want it.”

Flicking his eyes open, Yulian glared at the face of Lazar. Maybe he really wanted that water but he was too damn stubborn to say so. “Fuck you.”

Sighing as he sat down, Lazar opened the bottle and while grabbing Yulian’s chin, poured some into his mouth. “You’re going to die if you don’t stay hydrated.”

Swallowing down the most amazing sip of water he probably ever had, Yulian rasped “Like you give a fuck.”

Lazar blinked at him for a minute before murmuring “I’m trying to help you. I’m probably the only one who’s going to help you. You should take help where you can get it.”

“You want to help me,” Yulian heaved in pain, “You tell Ivo where I am.” He didn’t know if he could turn someone on his side but he knew if anyone would do it, it’d be this one.

“The game started,” Lazar notified, ignoring what Yulian said. “Fedele Palermo was found hanging from a lamppost in front of some place called Dino’s or something.” Yulian couldn’t help the laugh that erupted from him; Ivo knew exactly how to hit. Lazar raised a brow at him, “Amusing?”

“Oh yes. His first move is a very good one.” Symbolic too. Ivo always thought these things through. “I can’t wait for the next one.”

“You’re not worried about what will happen to your people?”

Of course he was. Hopefully the retaliation wouldn’t be too harsh. But saying he wasn’t happy that Ivo took someone out for him would be the biggest lie in the world.

He hoped he took them all out.

  

* * *

 

“Put them up tonight,” Joseph heard his father murmur to some man he didn’t know and for that matter, couldn’t see from where he stood.

For the first time since he had been born, business was now conducted at home. Albeit it was tetíncho Yulian’s home but same difference really.

That’s how extreme the situation was.

They weren’t allowed downstairs anymore. If they wanted something from the kitchen, they had to ask a guard and they’d do it for them.

Joseph felt like he was in a prison or something. His freedom had been constricted before but now he was really feeling it. Before, ‘house arrest’ had felt like some weird extended sleepover at his tétka’s. They all acted normal and everything was fine.

Now they rarely talked or even smiled.

He hadn’t seen his tétka at all. She stayed cooped up in her room with his mother who would check on them once in a while during the day. His cousins stayed in his room with him besides for Timotei who stayed with his tétka. It was a good thing the bed was huge because they all shared it; they wanted to stay close with each other.

He hadn’t seen Emilio since this whole mess had started because he wasn’t allowed to come over but they talked on the phone a lot.

It was a sad substitute to seeing his friend but it would have to do.

“Here, here, and here. One more here too.” Joseph could imagine his father pointing on a map for the locations of whatever they were putting up.

“And the last one?” The man asked.

“The last one we put into a special someone’s car. I’ll do that one myself.”

 _Wonder who the special someone is…and what in the world they’re putting._ He was standing at the top of the staircase, hiding himself from view in the hallway. All the guards were downstairs and Joseph was keeping his ears focused in case someone decided to come up.

His gaze turned to their shared bedroom as Andrey came out, shutting the door behind himself. He practically tiptoed over to Joseph and stood beside him. “Anything?” he whispered so low that Joseph had to lean into his cousin to hear.

They had been trying to figure out news on his tetíncho but everyone’s mouths were staying closed.

So they resorted to eavesdropping.

Shaking his head, Joseph whispered back “They’re just talking about putting up something. Don’t know what though.”

Andrey nodded and pulled Joseph with him back to the room. Once they walked in and closed the door, Anka looked up from her drawing and asked “So?”

“They’re surprising someone with something but I don’t know what it is.”

  

* * *

 

Jersey weather was okay but he was missing home. This place didn’t really suit him. Not to mention the constant threat of death now that ‘the game’ had started. He had wanted to throw up just from seeing a picture of the dead Italian guy yesterday.

He didn’t like this kind of game.

Walking to his car because he needed to go buy some damn milk for his breakfast because Dali always finished everything, he pressed the button to unlock it. He wrote a quick text to Lazar to tell him where he was going so that way someone knew.

His brother had taken it upon himself to keep their guest alive and spent most of his free time with him so was rarely home. He didn’t know why but didn’t argue with it. This whole Ivo thing was making his older sibling a little odd, if he was being honest.

Getting in and dropping his phone into the cup holder, he was about to turn on the car when his eye caught on the passenger seat. Turning to look fully, he felt his eyes go wide. “Oh Jesus. Oh Jesus. Oh Jesus Christ. Dear God, please help me.”

Whoever this poor fellow was, he didn’t know and couldn’t even tell because his face had been carved off. All you saw was his skeletal structure as the dead body stared back at him with unseeing eyes. Seeing eyeballs in a skeleton was just freaky. He was very much on the verge of throwing up right now. The jaw was wrenched open and inside his mouth was… “What the fuck is that? Is that… Oh my God.”

Yeah, he really needed to throw up while staring at a corpse choking on its own penis. He was starting to realize that the whole car smelled gross. How long had this been here? Last time he used his car was last night. Sometime after that?

What he wanted to do was look closer to see what else had been done to the man but he was just too disgusted to give a closer eye.

He wasn’t made for this business. All he had wanted in life was to be a chef.

That was it.

Shouldn’t he call someone? One of his siblings would be best. His father wasn’t someone he enjoyed chatting with. “Oh Jesus this is so disgusting…”

Reaching for his phone in the cup holder, he realized something else.

Besides for himself and the corpse, he wasn’t alone.

With heavy – he’ll admit it – terrified breaths, he turned his head and gazed at the man in the backseat, sitting like he didn’t have a care in the world. Who knew how long _he_ had been sitting there. No words escaped his mouth as he realized who was sitting in the rental with him. It had been years that he’d seen him in person but he recognized him from the photos they had been looking at.

A smile lit the man’s face in seconds.

“Hullooo Rumen!”

Gasping now because he was so scared and ready to piss on himself, Rumen smiled shakily “H-Hi, I-Ivo.”

Leaning forward, Ivo rested a hand on his shoulder. The older cousin he had always admired now utterly terrified him. “Long time no see. You and me? We’re going to take a bit of a trip. Turn on the car, start driving.”

“Ivo-”

“Don’t speak,” he said while still wearing his smile. “Just drive. I’ll direct you where.”

“I don’t want to die,” Rumen whispered, practically already in tears. He didn’t want to end up like the poor soul beside him.

Patting Rumen’s neck softly, Ivo replied “You needn’t worry such little things. Just drive, dear cousin mine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')  
> Стринка (strínka) – a father’s brother’s wife


	131. Chapter 130

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> Don't forget that ideas for Snapshots are always welcome and there's a 99% chance that ill write it. If you've asked for something and I haven't written it or mentioned it, it means I forgot and you should remind me. My memory sucks, guys.  
> Hope y'all are enjoying so far!
> 
> _“You look like crap.”_

A file slammed down on his desk.

Raul stared up at the face of his sergeant. “Five bodies dropped last night,” Sergeant Donnelly started. Flipping the folder open, his sarge pulled out five photos, laying them out on the desk for good viewing. Savelio stood from her desk and came behind Raul so she could see. “All done exactly the same way.”

Pulling a photo over with his finger, Raul stared down at a picture of a man posed on a sidewalk bench. His face was skinned off, leaving nothing there except his eyes sitting in their cavities. The mouth was open with something inside of it. He pointed at it. “What’s that?”

“His penis.”

“Oh.”

His partner grabbed the other photos. One man was seated at a bus stop, one on the steps to some building, another sitting on a curb while leaning on a tree, and one seated in a car. All with their faces removed, penises in their mouths, eyes staring into the void.

“Where were they found? Addresses.”

“All in Elizabeth,” the sergeant answered. “Surrounding the restaurant that the DeCavalcante’s operate from. I was alerted to it because our gang units are trading info about our respective big gangsters. The car is a rental registered under some alias that we can’t connect to anyone as of yet. Every single camera on the block was disabled for two hours, playing loops of old footage so no one would wonder anything.”

“So nothing.”

“Nope.”

Raul turned back to the photos. The longer Ivo was denied Yulian, the more this would escalate. The Italians hadn’t made their own move yet as far as he knew. “Have they identified the men?”

More files dropped on his desk. “The entire protective detail of Cesare.”

The murders planned out a specific path. “You think whoever this is, is going for Cesare next.”

Sarge blew a huff of air as he shook his head. “Raul, both me and you know that your buddy is the one behind this.” The way he said ‘buddy’ made him uncomfortable. Yeah, he knew it was Ivo but he didn’t appreciate the way the sergeant was making it seem like Raul was letting him get away with it. “We need to figure out how to stop this before it turns into random drive bys and explosions and innocent people start dying. Figure out how to stop him. Today.”

That felt a lot like a threat. Waiting until the sergeant went back to his office, Savelio muttered “Just figure it out. As if that’s the easiest thing in the world.”

What they needed was a miracle.

  

* * *

 

“What’s the news today,” Yulian somehow managed to smile through all the pain he must be feeling when Lazar walked in. His father was giving the blonde a few hours of rest before the beatings resumed.

For some reason, he enjoyed conversations with this man. Sitting himself down beside him, Lazar replied “Five dead. Faces skinned, cocks shoved in their mouths. All seated around Cesare’s restaurant. His entire personal guard.” _Still technically guarding him._

In a sick twisted way.

It was disgusting. He had been on the verge of throwing up when he saw the images. Thank God he didn’t have to see them in person. _Jesus Christ, Ivo._

Delight shown in the blue eyes of the bruised and bloodied man. “You got pictures?”

“You a sadist?”

“No but I’d love to see what Ivo’s doing on my behalf.”

Lazar shook his head; he had deleted those pictures the minute he had gotten them. “Sorry but no. Got rid of them. Fucking disgusting is what they were.” Yulian shrugged as well as someone who was lying down on their back could. “You got kids?”

His head turned back to Lazar from the ceiling. “You?”

Sadness struck him. “No but I’ve always wanted. Me and my wife have tried for years but it seems I’m not baby-making material.” His father had laughed at him when Lazar had told them that it wasn’t Raina’s fault that there were no kids. Told him that he wasn’t a man if he couldn’t even make a child.

That had hurt.

“Bummer.”

He could tell that Yulian didn’t really care but it didn’t matter. No one else would have this conversation with him. Not mentioning it at all around his family was usually best. “Yeah. Extreme bummer. We’ve tried a lot of things; nothing seems to work.” Sighing and shaking his head to clear his feelings, he repeated “You got kids?” He had done his research on Ivo, not the brother-in-law.

“Normally I’d say ‘go fuck yourself’ but you just shared something super personal so…” Yulian looked like he was mulling it over before he finally answered “I’ve got four.”

Lucky bastard. “Quite the brood.”

A soft smile came on the blonde’s face at the thought of his children. “Definitely. I’d love more but my wife would probably cut off my dick if I suggested. I enjoy children and she does too but she said she’s done. Too exhausted.”

Now he was jealous of this guy for more than being close to Ivo. He was about to keep their conversation going but stopped short when the door opened. Turning, he looked into the furious face of Nayden. _Furious?_

“It was Rumen’s!” He shouted as he strode in. Lazar was definitely confused. What was Rumen’s? He jumped to his feet when Nayden dragged up Yulian. “This is your fault!”

“Hold on,” Lazar said, trying to calm his brother before he damaged the man more than he already was. Lazar was convinced that Yulian would probably limp for the rest of his life. He grabbed his brother’s shoulder and asked “What’s Rumen’s? Tell me what’s up.”

Dropping the mobster to the floor causing the abused man to cringe in pain, Nayden turned on him. “The fucking car! The one with the body in it! It’s Rumen’s! It’s the rental he put under his alias!”

Lazar froze. Rumen’s car? His mind flew back to hours ago, the text he had received.

_gonna get milk, Dalis such a pig_

Hours ago.

And Lazar hadn’t even thought twice that Rumen had never said he was back. Granted, his younger brother was thirty-four and should know how to care for himself but still.

Lazar should have known something was up.

“Okay,” he said steadily because he needed to keep his youngest brother calm. “Since you found out about the car, have you tried contacting him?”

Nayden blinked then swore. Rubbing his short curls, he muttered “No. That kind of passed my mind.”

“Okay,” Lazar nodded while pulling out his phone. “That’s okay; you were worried. Let’s call together.” Calling his brother, he put the phone on speaker and they listened – along with Yulian – to the ringing. His heart was falling farther down when the ringing continued when finally, the line opened. “Rumen?”

The voice on the line was definitely not Rumen’s. It was deep, having the same heavy accent as them on their English and it seemed like the person was smiling. “Hello.”

A laugh erupted from Yulian when he heard the voice, full of relief and delight.

Then this could only be one person.

Ivo.

He didn’t even recognize his cousin’s voice.

“Ivo,” Lazar said steadily despite the pounding in his heart. His murderous cousin had his hands on his brother; he wasn’t cool with that. “Long time no talk.”

The voice was silent before it replied “I suppose it would be, wouldn’t it? But frankly, I’m not looking to talk to any of you right now. Yulian?”

“Piece of shit,” Yulian replied with a smirk on his face. Lazar was shocked that they talked to each other like that.

“Still alive?”

“Broken but yeah. It takes more than your psychotic uncle to kill me.”

“You always were a stubborn bastard,” Ivo mused over the line. “How broken?”

“My face is still pretty,” Yulian laughed from the floor. “I count my blessings.”

There was a cluck of a tongue and then Ivo replied “As long as the important parts are still there, I suppose.”

“All good besides my leg.”

His cousin hummed but said nothing. After what felt like years, Ivo turned his attention back to them. “So, no milk is coming as you should have guessed by now.”

Nayden looked confused because he didn’t know about the text but Lazar snorted “You actually have the nerve to act like this is all some funny joke? Seriously?”

“I like jokes. I like games. You all are playing a very dangerous game right now.”

“I think we already knew that,” Nayden said with a roll of his eyes. “It has one end – you dead.”

Another cluck of tongue. “You shouldn’t be so disrespectful, Nayden, to a lord in a much higher position than even your father. Watch your tongue now or you might end up losing it.”

Staring at the phone, Nayden asked incredulously “How do you know it’s me? I was barely six the last time I saw you.”

A laugh came over the speaker. “Dear Nayden, I know everything! There is nothing that passes under my nose. I know about you, your very sweet looking girlfriend, the mistress you cheat on her with, and the whore you pay every other Saturday to do all your darkest desires that you can’t convince the other two to do.”

Lazar stared at his brother in a new light. God, he hoped none of that was true. He happened to like Nayden’s girlfriend; she didn’t deserve that. Lazar always figured she’d be the one to settle his youngest brother. But his brother’s eyes were wide and still glued to the phone. “He’s not lying,” Lazar said in disbelief.

“Of course not,” Ivo snorted, “I’m many things but a liar isn’t one of them. Anyways, deal with your family crisis later. Rumen is alive and currently well besides for being tied to a chair and being all cried out. That’s what you called for, no?”

“Yes,” Lazar whispered, putting his focus where it needed to be right now. “That’s why. Lemme talk to him, Ivo. Please.” Rumen always had trouble as a kid and Lazar was always there to back him up. Except now he had lost him.

A minute went by before Ivo murmured “I suppose I could because you asked oh so nicely.” There was quiet until it sounded like a door opened. “Afternoon, Rumen!”

“Hi,” came a very soft whisper.

“Say hello to Lazar and Nayden.”

When his younger brother spoke again, there was some hope in his voice. “Hey, guys.”

“Hey,” Lazar couldn’t help but laugh in relief. “You good?”

“Um… so far, yeah. He keeps saying he’s not gonna kill me so I’m going to hold hope to those words. I threw up a few times from the dead body in my car though. That was really gross to sit next to.”

“I bet,” he laughed to give his brother some comfort in his voice. “Don’t worry about nothin’, alright? I’ll fix all this.”

“And how are you going to do that, Lazar?” came Ivo’s voice. “How do you think you’re going to fix this?”

“The typical way. One for one, right? Yulian for Rumen.” Nayden stared at him like he was crazy and right now, yeah he was. If his father or even Ilarion knew that he was doing a trade off without permission?

Yeah, he was fucked big time.

Laughing, Ivo replied “I appreciate the gesture but you don’t have the authority to make that choice. But we’ll keep this simple. If Yulian is hurt more than he already is, Rumen starts getting hurt. Deal?”

He flicked a glance to Nayden who nodded. Sounded good. “Okay, deal. Nobody touches your man and you don’t touch my brother.”

“Good! Very good. I won’t touch him more than what I’m about to do. Farewell, cousins, and take good care of my brother-in-law. I very much want him back.”

And the line shut.

“What the hell does ‘more than what I’m about to do’ mean?” Nayden whispered as they both still stared at the phone in Lazar’s hand.

He didn’t know.

And prayed that Rumen didn’t suffer too much.

There wasn’t much else Lazar could do at this point.

  

* * *

 

“Strip him,” Ivo said to the guard by the door as he pocketed the phone and took off his suit jacket. “Leave nothing.”

Rumen started to breath heavily and his already ruddy skin – his namesake – became even redder. “I-Ivo-”

“Hold your tongue, Rumen, or I’ll remove it,” he replied while rolling up his sleeves.

The guard untied his cousin but the man didn’t even move until he realized that the guard was trying to get him out of his clothes. “I can do it,” he whispered shakily. Ivo gestured ‘go ahead’ with his hand as he walked over to a table and slipped on some gloves. “’Kay, done,” came another whisper.

“Take a seat for now,” he murmured while getting his tools ready. “Because I’m such a nice guy,” Ivo said while making sure his scalpel was nice and sharp, “and because, really, none of this mess is your fault, I’ll give you some anesthetic. No pain.”

He could tell from the silence that Rumen couldn’t decide if he should thank him or not. Eventually, he mumbled “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” he smiled while turning around to face his cousin. “You will be awake though. I want you to watch as I cut your testicles out. Don’t worry, you won’t miss them.”

  

* * *

 

“You’re not worried,” Lazar whispered in disbelief, “Do you even care?”

His father blinked at him briefly before turning back to some paper. He had been at the Italians planning something for hours. What, Lazar didn’t know. He wasn’t Ilarion to be privileged the information. “I always told Rumen to be aware of his surroundings. If he’s too stupid to do so and got himself captured, that is his problem. He’s always been an idiot, that will never change.”

Nayden looked as shocked as he felt. “Are you serious?”

They had come to tell his father but the man didn’t even seem to care. What he cared about was that they had talked to Ivo with neither his permission or knowing.

The bastard didn’t care about his son in this whole equation.

“Yes. Now instead of standing around like a load of idiots, do something to make yourselves useful. Rumen will be fine. Maybe some torture will toughen him up.”

Lazar clenched his fists by his sides and walked out. He wasn’t going to listen to this crap. If it had been any of his other siblings, especially Ilarion, his father would be throwing fits and screaming bloody murder.

Rumen mattered to him even if he didn’t to his father.

And now he knew exactly what he was going to do.

Family never meant anything to his father. He killed chícho Yosef, hunted down Pavell, and almost had Ivo. But family meant something to Lazar. He was going to rewrite the wrong that had been done against his cousin all those years ago.

Walking into the bedroom he shared with Raina, he shut the door and went to his closet. His wife watched in confusion as he started to shove his stuff into his duffel. Without looking to her, he said quietly “Start packing.”

“What?”

“Packing, Raina. We’re leaving.” Grabbing his leather jacket, he slipped it on his shoulders before taking his gun out from under his pillow and tucking it into his waistband. He looked to her when she still wouldn’t move. “Packing.”

Nodding, she got off the bed and did the same as him, throwing everything in without a care how messy it was. “Why packing,” she whispered.

“Not now. When we get out.”

Opening his window, he looked down to the street. Not too far. He tossed his bag out first then Raina’s when she handed it over. After dropping hers, he went out feet first and dropped down beside their bags. He held his arms out even though he was sure she could manage it. “C’mon.”

He watched her take a breath then slip out like him. Panic hit him when her coat caught on the windowsill but luckily it unhooked from the force of her dropping out. Taking her hand and grabbing their bags, he dragged his wife behind him.

Once they had walked a good couple miles, he flagged down a cab and gave the cabbie an address.

They had someone to pick up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')  
> Стринка (strínka) – a father’s brother’s wife


	132. Chapter 131

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> Am I doing a good job in including Joseph enough?
> 
> _“You look like shit.”_

The entire city felt it.

Okay maybe not the _entirety_ of Hoboken.

But Joseph definitely did.

Everyone in the house did.

  

* * *

 

He felt the ground shake and a distant noise echoing throughout the precinct.

“Explosion,” Raul murmured as he stood and glanced out a window like anyone else who was currently in the station. Smoke rose from somewhere in the city up into the clouds.

“Something tells me the Italians just took their first hit,” Savelio replied quietly as she stood beside him.

“Yeah,” he nodded, still looking at the rising smoke, “Something tells me that too.”

“You think things will get uglier?”

Turning away and opening his drawer to grab his gun and badge, Raul answered “Things have barely started. The body drops were just the opening act, Savelio. Now we get to the real stuff.”

His partner went to her own desk to grab her stuff. “Mutilated people are an opening act?”

“Mutilated people are nothing to these people,” he muttered as they walked out and to their car. He knew how these things went; they started simple and then escalated. Raul had worked for years for gang unit back in Connecticut.

“Nothing…” she echoed while shaking her head as they got in the car. “Opening act.”

“Things are just beginning, partner.”

  

* * *

 

“The fuck was that?” Yulian muttered as he tried to lift his head. He had this huge headache and the world was spinning just a bit.

Ilarion had been so sweet and had paid him a visit.

It ended with him having some more bruises for his life, a huge headache, and his wrist throbbing.

The piece of shit had literally burned off his tattoo.

Literally.

After the oldest of the psychotic man’s children had left him, another one came in not too long after.

_Blinking and trying to tell who his visitor was, Yulian actually let out a sigh of relief when he noticed it was Lazar. This one never seemed to actually ever want to hurt him, only have conversation._

_He was down for that._

_A woman came in after him and shut the door. He wasn’t sure who she was but she seemed nervous and was constantly wringing her hands. Lazar crouched down next to him and murmured “I need you to trust me.”_

_“Trust you,” Yulian echoed tiredly. His wrist was on fire, his leg was just sort of there, and his head was throbbing. Thinking was too much work. “For?”_

_“I’m getting you out of here.”_

_Okay, he definitely had to be imagining things. “Repeat that?” Maybe he’d pull an Ivo and ask if he was awake or not. His head was swimming; maybe he was actually stuck in there._

_Yulian was being pulled to his feet. “Use me as a crutch and whatever strength you have, use it. We need to leave fast before someone might come.”_

_Maybe he really was getting out. He stumbled a little because he hadn’t used his legs in a few days – not to mention that one of them wasn’t exactly working right now. “Already came.”_

_The woman opened the door and walked before them, making sure the coast was clear. “Who?” she asked quietly as they walked on. Yulian wanted to take in his surroundings but he was too exhausted and all of his senses were blurred from the abuse. He hadn’t been anywhere in the building besides ‘his’ room and he had been drugged when they had brought him in._

_“’Larion,” Yulian mumbled. He shakily raised his wrist so they could see the horrid burn that still made itself known with a fiery fury. “See?”_

_Lazar’s jaw clenched and he swore under his breath as they made it out to the street. “We’ll get it cleaned, no worries.” They walked to a cab and the woman – it had to be the wife – opened up the door and helped Lazar put him in. “Give the driver an address in Hoboken. I don’t know any.”_

_Home. Jesus Christ did he want to go home and see his family so bad. “109 Grand St, Hoboken.”_

_The cabbie looked at him in the rearview mirror. “That’s an expensive drive.”_

_Lazar got in beside him and his wife after, shutting the door. “We know. I’ll pay, just get us there as fast as possible, please.”_

_The driver eyed them for a bit, focusing on the mess that he was and then shrugged. “No problem.” His guess was that the man didn’t care as long as he got paid._

_“Good,” Yulian mumbled as he shut his eyes and rested his head on Lazar’s shoulder. Home was getting closer._

“Don’t know,” Lazar said quietly as he peered out the window. “Sounded like an explosion.”

Yeah, Yulian thought so too. And explosions in his city were not something he liked. Explosions in his city meant that someone had made a move and because it was in his city and not Elizabeth?

It meant the Italians had struck against them.

He prayed there weren’t too many casualties. Hopefully whatever location they had hit wasn’t full of people.

Or his family.

“Explosion, huh?” the cabbie said as he drove. “Not good. I heard there’s some gangsters in this city but never seen no trouble when I come.” He paused at a red light. “Five minutes.”

“Five minutes,” he couldn’t help but laugh. In five minutes, he got to see his wife and kids. A thought ticked in his mind. “You’re going to have to park at the end of the street. Don’t bother going in.” Security was keeping everything tight coming in and out of his street.

The driver nodded. “Sure thing.”

Once they had reached his street and paid the driver, he rested his weight on Lazar while Raina carried their bags. “Nice houses,” she murmured as they walked. “Nice neighborhood, really.”

“I’m not going to live in a shitty one,” he muttered in reply even though he knew she was just trying to fill in the silence.

He could see a couple of the guards standing outside as they walked on. They were strung, he could tell. Probably from the explosion where none of them knew where it was yet. Or just hadn’t been told. Asen was always kept in the loop; he had to know. One of the guards caught sight of them – Deyan – and Yulian couldn’t help but wave with a smile on his face.

Yeah, he was definitely happy to be home.

“My Lord Simeonov!” Deyan exclaimed in apparent happiness. The other guards glanced over and smiles also overtook their faces. Deyan rushed over and looked like he was dying to hug him. Being that they hadn’t ever talked much before and weren’t what you’d call anything besides ‘coworkers,’ Yulian was shocked.

He didn’t know he inspired that kind of loyalty.

It was awesome.

  

* * *

 

Joseph had been watching from a window upstairs as smoke rose into the air. No one had determined what had blown but he had a feeling it wasn’t some sort of accidental thing.

Not at a time of war.

His father wasn’t home so the first place anyone’s mind had gone was that he had been harmed. Luckily, they found this to be otherwise but other than that small piece of information, they knew nothing else.

And because he had been in the window, he had heard the shout. He didn’t believe it but he was willing to risk getting in trouble to find out if he heard right.

Asen was seated on the bed of the guest room they had commandeered for Joseph’s ‘sightseeing,’ but Joseph didn’t think he had heard the call. Not wanting his guard to get in trouble, Joseph said quickly “Keep up!” before he dashed off. He heard Asen shout something but he didn’t have time as he ran down the stairs and yanked open the front door before anyone stopped him.

And was greeted with the mess of his uncle.

Tetíncho Yulian blinked a few times before a smile grew on his face when he realized who he was looking at. “Hi.”

Grinning huge, Joseph hugged him tight around his waist but loosened his embrace when he could feel a cringe. He was worried what damage would be revealed under the clothing. “Welcome home.”

“My Lord Simeonov?” Asen said in surprise from behind him. Seconds later, he shouted “My Lady Nikol! My lady, come quick!”

Looking up into his uncle’s face, Joseph murmured “You look like crap.”

The man holding his tetíncho up laughed while his tetíncho settled for a smirk. His face changed seconds later to a huge smile when his eyes caught on someone behind Joseph. Turning, Joseph looked at the tear-filled face of his tétka, standing at the base of the stairs. “Look who’s home!”

Stepping to the side to give his tétka the space she needed, Joseph watched her run to her husband, embracing him tight. Even though his uncle must be in horrible pain from that hug, he looked to be enjoying every second. Tétka Nikol didn’t say anything, simply pressed her face into his chest. Pressing kisses to her head, tetíncho Yulian whispered “I’m home. I missed you so much.”

“Don’t keep him at the door,” his mother laughed as she walked over and placed a kiss on his uncle’s cheek. “Welcome home, jackass.”

“Don’t keep him standing either,” the man added, “He needs to get off his-”

“Oh Jesus,” his tetíncho cut in as his eyes settled on Joseph’s cousin’s rushing downstairs. “C’mere.”

Anka literally pushed his tétka out of the way to which tétka Nikol laughed to hug her father. “Hi, tatko,” she cried into him. “Hi.”

Starting to look like he was putting all of his weight on the unknown man, tetíncho Yulian stooped a little and kissed Anka’s head. “Hello my beautiful headache.” Anka laughed and pressed harder into him. Joseph didn’t miss the way he winced.

“You’re taking forever,” Andrey griped as he stood holding Timotei. Albena had weaseled her way into Anka’s hug and was enjoying being squished between her sister and father. “Freakin’ move.”

“Ill-mannered children,” tetíncho Yulian laughed as he dragged Andrey over into a side hug, giving a kiss to each of his sons. “Jesus Christ, I missed all of you.”

“Me too, right?” Joseph asked with a raised brow and a smile.

Rolling his eyes as they broke their group hug, tetíncho replied “All of you kind of included everyone. I’m too tired to list every single name.”

“Just checking,” he laughed as they made their way to the couches, his tetíncho and the man at a much slower pace. There was some woman too who came in with two bags.

Settling themselves down – his uncle with a severe grimace and groan – Asen came to them and said “I’ve called a doctor, my lord. I’ve also been trying to reach my Lord Kavinsky but he’s otherwise occupied I suppose. He’ll get back to me soon, I imagine.”

The man and the woman both looked nervous at the mention of his father but said nothing. His tetíncho tried to make himself comfortable with the man on one side and Joseph’s tétka on the other. He was practically falling into her. “Thank you. What news?”

Giving a quick glance to everyone then shrugging, Asen replied “Two warehouses blown. The two on River Street. Count so far is thirteen dead and also many with injuries; some minor, some severe.”

He was shocked when his tetíncho actually swore in front of his kids. Rubbing his face then running his fingers through his hair, surprisingly, with his left hand, he muttered “Around twenty-four men are posted in total for those locations. More than half are dead, millions of dollars in loss. Fucking Italians.”

“My Lord Kavinsky is there now checking both damage and losses. Death notices will be given by my father and later today, my lord will visit each family personally.”

Joseph stared accusingly at Asen. “How come when I asked if you know anything, you told me no? Obviously, you know a whole lot.”

Rolling his eyes – he had been doing that a lot more since Joseph became his charge – his guard replied “Joseph, you ask so many questions in a day, I can’t keep up anymore. Lord help me when my son is your age.”

“Hey!” he laughed, “Rude, Asen.”

Sighing as he shook his head, Asen turned back to his uncle. “Italians are more or less guaranteed on this. And we, obviously, believe Damyan and his lot have a hand in this. My lord, however, has not detailed what his next move may be.”

His tetíncho nodded in thought. Finally, he asked curiously “Where are our detectives? I don’t think I saw them?”

“Tatko threw them out,” Joseph answered from where he was sitting by his mother’s feet. “The day you disappeared. I’m pretty sure I heard yelling but not for sure. We were sent upstairs.”

“My lord removed them,” Asen corrected, “Because he didn’t not want the strings to tangle in legality and illegality.”

“Same thing I said.” He looked closely at the man and woman sitting. “So who are you guys?”

The man blinked at him then his uncle who just shrugged. “My name’s Lazar-” Everyone froze when there was a sound of a click.

A gun had been drawn. Joseph stared in shock at Asen.

“Wait,” his tetíncho said with raised hands. “He’s with us.”

“Was he even searched before you let him in?” Asen asked in anger to Deyan who paled slightly.

“I-”

“Enough,” tetíncho Yulian said sternly. “I said he’s with us. Lower the weapon.”

Still looking angry – Joseph didn’t even know the man could be – Asen clicked back the safety and returned his gun to his waistband. “Explain, please, how one of Damyan’s children is ‘with us.’”

“Whoa,” Joseph said in surprise and now stared even harder at his father’s cousin. “You’re tatko’s cousin?”

Taking a steady breath, Lazar replied “I am. Nice to meet you.” Turning to Asen, he continued “I’m with you being that I just brought back one of your men very much alive. I made my choice and, hopefully, it wasn’t the wrong one.”

“Definitely wasn’t,” his tétka murmured while taking tetíncho’s hand in hers. “Thank you.”

Lazar smiled to his tétka. “My pleasure. I actually happen to like this guy. Good conversation partner.”

“Agree,” Joseph laughed. “Really good.”

His father’s cousin gave him a smile and turned back to Asen. “I’m not going to lie, I mostly did it for my brother. My father seems to think it’s not a concern that he was taken this morning.” Joseph wondered what was going to happen to the guy. “I happen to disagree. I’m sick of following into a line that seems to say that family is worth nothing.” He gave a bitter laugh then added “Unless your name is Ilarion.”

“Fucking piece of shit,” his tetíncho snarled in pure hatred while rubbing above his wrist. Joseph leaned closer and caught sight of some wound.

“Who’s that?” Andrey asked with Timotei sitting in his lap.

Sighing, Lazar answered “My older brother. I’m the second oldest and then there are five more siblings. Ilarion is my father’s favorite.”

“Piece of shit,” his uncle reiterated. “The pair of them.”

Pulling her feet up on the couch, his mother asked the woman “And you’re…”

“Raina,” the woman smiled, “Lazar’s wife. We kind of just…left. Out a window, actually.”

“Nobody has called yet, so my guess is that they think I’m still brooding in my room. When they check it or where we were keeping Yulian, then we’re screwed,” Lazar muttered. “So screwed.”

Asen came back from a phone call. “If you truly are with us and my lord sees that, then you’ll have our protection. You needn’t worry.”

Lazar paled a little instead of looking relieved. “How does he…determine such a thing?”

“He listens and decides from there.” Looking to tetíncho, Asen asked “Can we move you to a bedroom? The doctor will be here shortly as well as my lord whom I’ve managed to reach.”

Nodding tiredly, tetíncho Yulian rested his head on tétka’s shoulder and muttered “Someone has to carry me. I can’t move.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')  
> Стринка (strínka) – a father’s brother’s wife


	133. Chapter 132

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> Uhhhhhhhhhh, I can't think of anything. This happens when you update frequently lol
> 
> _"Oh my Jesus, I could get hard from my excitement.”_

Looking down at the mess of Yulian on the bed, Ivo had to admit that he was incredibly relieved at having him back. One less worry on his mind.

He definitely had enough to deal with right now.

“You look like shit.”

Rolling his eyes and then grimacing when the doctor poked too hard, Yulian replied “You and your son have an interesting way in expressing your relief at having me back.”

Ivo turned his head to blink at Joseph who was standing by the wall next to his cousins. His son smiled and shrugged, “For the record, I said crap not the other word.”

“You should have said neither.”

“Not now, Ivo,” Vesela muttered as she came in with a bowl of water and a towel, handing them to the doctor. “Not worth it.”

“I thought you were the one who said language is a big deal. Now I agree and ‘it’s not worth it.’” It wasn’t worth it but he felt like bugging her. He loved when her eyes flashed and screamed bloody murder.

“Ignoring you,” she replied while sitting on the floor besides the bed in case the doctor needed assistance. Nikol was too latched to Yulian’s side to be of any use.

“Pretty sure you just said two words to me,” he couldn’t help but smirk.

“Fuck,” Yulian hissed while biting a finger as the doctor cleaned the various burns and abuses.

“Language,” Ivo sang. Yeah, he was definitely happy to have his frat boy back. “For shame, Spencer.”

Yulian groaned from both his annoyance at Ivo and his pain. “Shut up. You’re so freaking annoying.”

“I thought you missed everyone, tetíncho,” Joseph laughed.

Shutting his eyes while shaking his head, Yulian replied “I’m changing my mind on him.” He itched his head and that’s when Ivo saw it.

“What the fuck happened to your hand?” he asked as he stepped closer, nearly tripping on Vesela. “Lemme see.”

His brother-in-law held out his hand for inspection. Grasping it softly, Ivo stared down at the ruins of what used to be Yulian’s tattoo. The skin was a mess to say the least. Well, Mila got her wish in a wrong twisted way. “Who am I killing for this?”

“Ilarion.”

He never quite liked that cousin. Ilarion always thought he was some amazing hotshot and because he was the oldest out of everyone, thought he was entitled in every single damn thing. Now, Ivo had even more reason to hate his guts. Setting down Yulian’s arm gently, he said “I’ll get him for you.”

“Please do. I don’t think I’ve ever hated someone as much as I hate him.” He paused then added “Except maybe Damyan.”

“Agreed,” Ivo muttered with hate.

A smile suddenly grew on Yulian’s face as he revealed “I totally spit on him. It was awesome; nice big ass loogie.”

“Ew, tatko,” Anka laughed along with everyone else. “That’s so nasty.”

“Right on his face.”

Despite some of the longest weeks of his life weighing down on him, Ivo couldn’t help the laughter that escaped him. “Very well aimed.”

“It was,” Lazar nodded, “Right between the eyes.”

Ivo had spent since he walked in ignoring his cousin and his wife. They may have brought him Yulian but it didn’t mean he was feeling welcoming. When Asen had told him over the phone that his cousin was here, Ivo was convinced he’d commit murder the minute he walked in.

Obviously he hadn’t but it had been a struggle.

He turned to look at the door of the room when Asen knocked on the doorframe and stuck his head in. “My lord, Detectives Vidal and Savelio are here.”

“Course they are,” he muttered. Nodding mostly to himself, he nudged Yulian in the shoulder and said “Get well, asshole.”

Walking out while completely acting like Lazar and Raina didn’t exist, Ivo went over to where Raul and Savelio stood. “Detectives.”

“My lord,” Raul nodded. “I heard the good news. When we’re done talking, I’d like to say my greetings if you don’t mind.”

“Of course,” Ivo nodded and gestured out to the couches for them to sit. “What’s this visit about?”

Taking her seat, Savelio answered “The explosions.”

It was cute that these detectives seemed to constantly stick themselves in when they weren’t even gang unit. Leaning into the couch and putting one foot on his knee, Ivo said “Hardly your business.” Raul was about to speak but Ivo stopped him. “Should gang unit have questions, they’re welcome to ask themselves. But I’ve got nothing to say.”

“People are dying-”

“I’m aware,” he said stiffly. God was he aware. “I lost fourteen good men today, detectives. I lost more than half the men employed at the places blown. The rest of them each have more than scratches. I have to go to eleven different homes today to notify people that they lost their loved ones. I have to go to two of those houses and tell them that they didn’t just lose one person.”

“I’m sorry for your losses,” Raul said carefully, “I truly am. But more people are going to die if this doesn’t end now.”

Idiots. “This doesn’t end until one thing happens.” He knew they knew what had to happen.

Damyan had to die.

The Italians weren’t a problem. They’d eventually come to treaties and a tentative peace.

There was no peace with Damyan.

He needed to be dead.

Ilarion too.

“My lord,” Raul tried again.

Sitting up and setting his foot back on the floor, Ivo raised his hand. “Stop. I told you all I have to say; that’s it. Now I’m very busy so if you’d like to give your well wishes to Lord Simeonov, do so before you must leave.”

Looking a touch frustrated, Raul gave in with a sigh. “I’m sorry for your losses, Ivo. Really.” Standing with Savelio following suit, he said before going to Yulian “This needs to end sooner rather than later. As your friend, I’m going to say get this done. Quickly.”

Killing Damyan couldn’t be done ‘quickly.’ Ivo couldn’t even find him; the man had hidden his location incredibly well. Even though they were staying at Yulian’s house, Ivo had done the same. He wouldn’t be surprised if Damyan tried to hit them at home.

“You have a thread now,” Timotei reminded in his head.

Nodding, Ivo turned and called to Asen who came in less than a second. “Bring me my guests, please.”

Going off to fetch them, Ivo thought about what had changed in the whole situation. The Italians had just blown two of his locations, damaging both business and lives. Ivo was going to need to make a similar hit and while he had some very good demolitions people, he remembered a detail in a conversation he had recently.

_“Anything you need,” Daniel said easily over the phone. “We’ll back you up, my lord.”_

_He didn’t think he’d need much but you never knew. “Thank you, I appreciate it. And the Irish are on board?”_

_“Fully. In truth, they’re quite eager to join in. They hope you’ll make use of them and their skills. I have a friend whose more than ecstatic to get a chance to work with you.”_

_That sounded promising. “Any specialties this friend?”_

_Ivo could literally hear the smile on Daniel. “He likes things that go boom.”_

His mind focused back to the present when Lazar and Raina took a seat across from him. Before he started with them, he said to Asen “Get in touch with King Daniel. Tell him that I need him and that ecstatic friend of his. Preferably, I’d like to meet with them today no matter the time. I can’t go across the river during these times so press for him to come here.”

“Of course, my lord. Right away.” Asen pulled out his phone and was about to walk away before Ivo called him back. “Yes?”

“Stand by the room Yulian is in. I don’t want my eavesdropper coming out.”

A smile grew on Asen’s face as he laughed, saying before he walked off “I will say, my lord, your son has made me fear mine. Lord help me is all I can say.”

With a smile on his face, Ivo rolled his eyes and stretched his legs out and turned his focus where it should be. “Guys.”

“Ivo,” Lazar replied with a raised brow. Raina just gave him a small smile. She was still nervous around him and had been since he found her sucking Lazar’s cock and blew up on both of them. She had never seen his anger before that. They had made peace but they’d never be friendly like they had been unlike how him and Lazar had gotten over it. “Do I do the talking first or…”

Crossing his arms and getting comfortable because he was damn tired, he said “I haven’t decided yet. I’ve barely come to the conclusion that I’m not going to kill you.”

“Wonderful,” his cousin muttered under his breath. “Guess I should be thankful for that much.”

“You should. I don’t know what you’re expecting. A hug? I barely hug the people I like not to hug you.” Emilio still forced him to do their hug a month.

That kid.

Sighing and leaning his head on the back of the couch to look up at the ceiling, Lazar murmured “I’m trying to do the right thing here.”

“The right thing?” Ivo couldn’t help but laugh as he sat up. “The right thing? You’ve all already taken away my family and now you’re trying to do it again. What exactly does ‘the right thing’ mean in your mind?”

Staring back at him now, Lazar said “I didn’t know. I didn’t know anything until years later. Fuck, Ivo, I spent a month in bed because of how upset I was. I didn’t know. Don’t blame me.”

Tilting his head as he contemplated this, Ivo realized it could actually be possible. Damyan wouldn’t have told anyone besides Ilarion the truth in the beginning. “Fine. You didn’t know anything but how about now? You know everything. What are you going to do about it?”

“I…” His cousin fell silent as he stared down at his hands in his lap. “I don’t want people to die-”

“People have already died,” he interrupted. “People are dying; it’s too late for that. People are going to die, Lazar. If you actually believe that I’m going to let your father and Ilarion walk away before I kill them, then you’re completely stupid. Now whether or not I torture them is up in the air because that depends on the situation in which I see them. I don’t care if I only get to put a bullet in each of their heads; I’m going to kill them.”

A shadow crossed his cousin’s face. “I understand why but-”

“Don’t,” he hissed, his anger rising back to the surface. “You don’t understand. You don’t understand what it is to be terrified out of your fucking mind and leaving home. You will never understand what it’s like to watch your brother being fed alive to dogs and you will never be able to comprehend the fear and uncertainty that comes with showing up in a country where you don’t even speak the language, broke as fuck, and with no one to help you. You will _never_ understand. Don’t insult me by trying to act like you have any sort of understanding.”

Silence fell and no one was going to break it anytime soon. Eventually after what felt like years, Raina said in a soft tone while playing with her fingers “Your son’s a beautiful young man.”

The boiling feeling of committing murder that had reignited when Lazar opened his stupid mouth came to a simmer at the mention of Joseph. “Thank you. I, of course, fully agree. He’s absolutely brilliant as well.” _And you people want to take him away from me._

“I bet he is,” she smiled, “He looks a lot like you; I imagine the similarities go past just looks.”

“He’s not taking credit for Joseph’s brain, is he?” came Vesela’s voice from behind him. “Pretty sure that’s my claim being a valedictorian and all.” Placing a bowl in the sink, she came and sat beside Ivo to his surprise. When she noticed him staring with questioning eyes, Vesela smiled “Yes?”

He couldn’t help but smile when he was blessed with hers. “Can I help you?”

“Nope,” she replied while getting comfortable and pulling her feet up and under her. “Are you supposed to?”

“Rhetorical question, Vesela.”

She fixed her hair into a bun atop her head instead of the messy braid it had been in. Ivo personally preferred the mess. “No duh.”

When she didn’t explain, he said “Did you need something?”

“No.”

Rolling his eyes and gaining a laugh from Lazar, Ivo tried again. “Business meeting, my lady.”

“Mmm… I’m pretty sure I heard something about my baby. He’s not business.”

“We’re taking a minor break so I don’t commit murder.”

Her eyes sparkled as she said “Yeah, we don’t want that. Nikol would never forgive you for getting blood into her couches.”

Getting comfortable again, Ivo pointed out “Nikol’s otherwise occupied right now with her P.O.S.”

“Let’s not forget that the detectives are still here,” Raul called as he walked over. “Gimme a good reason to arrest you. I dare you.”

“The fact that you get boners from the thought of arresting me is concerning,” Ivo laughed. Looking to Savelio, he asked “Do you get we-” He choked on his words when Vesela wacked him in the stomach.

Smiling at him as he tried to get his air back, Vesela said “I’m sorry, were you going to say something incredibly stupid?”

“You’re the only one who gets away with that in a house full of guards,” Raul laughed while shaking his head. “I tried that and had guns pointed on me and a bloody nose.”

Coughing a few more times, Ivo muttered “Ow.”

“Love you too, my bastard,” Vesela murmured before she pressed a kiss to his lips then stood. “I think you were in the middle of a business meeting before you tried to say some stupid sexual joke?”

“Ha. Ha,” he replied with a roll of his eyes. “You mean before you interrupted?”

“No,” she laughed as she walked away. “Before your joke is exactly what I mean.”

“We’re going,” Raul notified. “But I’m serious, Ivo, this needs to end before it gets worse.” With that, he and Savelio left.

“Things always get worse before they get better,” Ivo murmured mostly to himself. Turning back to his guests with a plan forming, he asked “You want to prove yourself? We’ll start easy; simple.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')  
> Стринка (strínka) – a father’s brother’s wife


	134. Chapter 133

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> Meet Casey and if you can think of a way or situations where I can write more of this amazing dude, do let me know. I like him a lot.  
> And, you know, other important things happen. You're saying bye to another person (sorry Saffooo)
> 
> _“Someone’s not happy today.”_

“Joseph!” he heard his mother call and suddenly she was in his room with a smile on her face. The mood of the house had become far brighter than it had been now that his uncle was back. Even the security was better than it had been because they were able to move a bit more freely through the house.

“Yeah,” he murmured as he read about the anatomy of squirrel for the hundredth time. He hadn’t tried anything since he had got here because of the obvious risks but it didn’t mean he hadn’t been doing his homework.

The next time he tried, he wanted it to be perfect.

“Look!” she exclaimed while bouncing onto the bed beside him. “We found one!”

Too focused on the digestive system, Joseph didn’t look but replied “Found what.”

“One of dyádo’s cool things! It’s not one of the toys he brought us but something he brought for tate once. It was in one of the boxes in the garage.”

“That’s nice,” he mumbled before he actually processed what she said. “Wait, what?” Joseph asked quickly while turning to look. It was some small box; etched with lines and brown. “Lemme see.”

Handing it to him, she said “I don’t know what it is though and neither does your tétka. We just figured maybe it was some decoration thing.”

Examining the box in his hand, Joseph couldn’t tell what it was either. But he could tell just by holding it that it was a dream object. It just…felt different. “Do you guys mind if I have it?” He needed to figure out what he held in his hand.

With a shrug, his mother answered “No, it’s fine. We wouldn’t know what to do with it anyways.”

“Thanks,” he murmured, now putting his focus on the box, putting his book to the side. The grooves were all over, covering every inch. “There’s no opening or anything.”

“Nope,” she said as she laid down on the bed and yawned. “Nothing besides the grooves. You can’t even tell what the top or bottom is.”

Interesting. Joseph flipped it every which way, trying to get a feel for the thing. It had to do something or at least have some type of purpose. The grooves were there for a reason but what was it? “Is tetíncho awake?”

With eyes closed and already looking more than asleep, his mother shrugged and mumbled “No clue.”

Then he’d just have to check. Sliding off the bed, he said “I’ll be back,” before he walked out of the room. He nearly crashed into Asen coming back from the bathroom. “I’m going to sit with tetíncho.”

“Fair enough,” the man nodded. “I’ll be downstairs.”

Joseph nodded as he continued on to his aunt’s room. They had moved his uncle upstairs because he said he needed to feel like he was home, not in some random room. Getting him up the stairs hadn’t been easy but they had managed at an incredibly slow pace. Knocking on the door, he waited until he was invited to come in then entered with a smile. “Hi.”

Looking a complete exhausted mess, his tetíncho mumbled “Hi.” Anka was sitting next to him and looked to be mid speech with her mouth still open until she closed it.

“I need your brain, my good sir,” Joseph notified as he walked over and stood next to his uncle. He held out the box, “I want to see what you think of this.”

Taking the object, tetíncho Yulian flipped it around like Joseph had, taking a close look at each side. He rubbed his fingers along the grooves, following their paths. “Makes me think of a map.”

It was a thought. The grooves were the outlines or something? “Think so?”

Tetíncho Yulian nodded “It’s almost like it leads you somewhere…” He shrugged and handed it back to Joseph. “No clue where though. Although,” he took the box back and flipped to a specific side and pointed at a pack of grooves that were raised a bit more than others, “This seems important. Mountain maybe? And then there’s these…” His uncle trailed off as his finger dipped into two small oddly shaped depressions.

_Lakes._

Joseph blinked in surprise at himself and the sudden epiphany. How did he know that? “So map.”

He nodded as he handed the box back. “I’d say so. What is it?”

“Just some box I found…” Joseph murmured as he examined what was in his hand again. This map lead someone somewhere.

_He wanted to go home…_

Maybe more than objects came out of dreams. More than animals, more than people.

Maybe entire worlds.

  

* * *

 

Casey was bouncing from excitement as they sat in the mob’s meeting room. Well, they sat and the crazy guy was standing. “Any minute now! Man, I wish I could see it in person! My best work!”

“Dude, if you don’t stop, I’ll legit throw my mug at you,” Daniel snorted from where he sat in Yulian’s usual chair. The boy had matured much more in his attitudes and the way he saw things. He looked it too with his clean and precisely done facial hair and shorter hair. The suit helped his image as well.

But every now and then, you’d remember he was only twenty-five. _Venc would be twenty-three in a couple weeks…_

Like when he said ‘dude’ or ‘legit.’

“I can’t,” Casey laughed almost manically, “This is like theee biggest moment of my life! My career! Oh my Jesus, I could get hard from my excitement!”

“Oh _my_ Jesus,” Ivo muttered as he rubbed his forehead. “Jesus Christ.” This guy had enough energy to run twenty others. If Ivo didn’t know better, he’d say he was high or something.

The only thing the stupid idiot got high on was life.

“Aren’t you guys excited?” Casey asked as he bounced over to them, leaning on Daniel’s chair. “This is just so fucking exciting!”

The Irishman was Daniel’s ecstatic friend who liked things that went boom. He was, from what Ivo had determined, one of the best people when it came to explosives. Casey knew all the ins and outs and in betweens.

Everything.

_“It’s so awesome to meet you, my lord!” A man that looked to be Daniel’s age with sparkling brown eyes exclaimed. “God this is so cool!”_

_“The pleasure is mine,” he smiled as the shook hands. Ivo wasn’t sure what he had been expecting but this guy wasn’t it. This man seemed so incredibly happy and…happy._

_Too happy._

_Maybe he was high? But his pupils looked fine to him._

_“My lord,” Daniel grinned as they shook hands, “Good to see you.”_

_“It’s good to see you,” Ivo replied as he led them to the couches so they could sit. “You need to visit more often.”_

_Taking a seat with his high friend beside him, Daniel replied “I barely have time to take a shit nowadays.”_

_“Invest in diapers,” the red head snorted with laughter. “Even the football players wear them. You know, in case of leakage and whatever.”_

_Probably used to the constant delight of the weirdo, Daniel just rolled his eyes and said “If you like them so much, get them for yourself.” The man was about to open his mouth before Daniel interrupted by saying “My lord, this is the man I was talking about. Casey O’Neil, one of the best explosive experts I know.”_

_“At your service!” Casey saluted with a wild grin. “I blow like nobody else.” A laugh erupted from him as he added “I blow things up not blow dicks, L-O-L.”_

_Ivo blinked at the man sitting across from him in really all he could say was surprise and disbelief. He actually wished he could think of stronger adjectives; this dude was weird. “You just said l-o-l out loud. In a conversation.”_

_“I know!”_

_He blinked for a few more seconds before he turned to Daniel with raised brows, waiting for proof that this idiot actually knew how to make things explode. With a smile, Daniel said “He’s out there but I swear, my lord, he’s the best. And before you ask, he’s sober.”_

_Casey held up his hands in a form of defense. “I don’t put no drugs in this system. Can’t properly calculate all the shit I need to. And that shit is extremely important.”_

_“Okay, then,” Ivo nodded to Daniel, “I’ll trust your judgement.” Turning his focus to the crazy man in the room, he said “I need to blow a building and a whole lot of shipping crates. Lots of damage, got it?”_

_“Easy peasy, my lord.” Casey relaxed into the couch and asked “Did you know you’re like my fucking role model?”_

Lazar had provided them with detailed schematics of one of the Italians shipping docks. If there was one thing that his cousin had always been better than Ivo at when they were kids, it was breaking into places without any one knowing. His cousin wouldn’t give him Damyan’s address but Ivo wasn’t too worried about that right now. He had, however, been willing to break in and get every file he could get his hands on.

The amount of info he had had increased two-fold

In return, he got to visit and hang out with Rumen whenever he liked. Lazar had had a fit when he found out what Ivo did to his brother but it didn’t matter. Eventually he got over it; mostly because of the threat of dying and Rumen begging him to.

Ivo planned on using Rumen for one last thing today before he would leave the poor man alone.

“Three! Two! One!” Casey shouted while staring at his watch as he jumped up and down and came running to stand behind Ivo to watch on his laptop the camera they had cut into to view their masterpiece. “Fucking boom!”

“Fucking boom,” Ivo murmured in awe as the warehouse and shipping dock off Newark Bay exploded. “Holy shit.”

It didn’t just explode; it was like it had imploded on itself as it caught in flames and crashed down to the ground. When the bombs went off, debris had flown in every direction. If he didn’t know it, he’d say he was watching a movie with really awesome affects.

Holy shit.

“Damn, Casey,” Daniel said in admiration. “That was fucking insane.”

“I know!” He nudged Ivo in the shoulder. “My lord?”

Nodding as he stared at the screen, he replied “That. Was. Fucking. Awesome.” Casey let out a huge whoop of happiness. “Fucking awesome,” Ivo murmured in complete amazement.

  

* * *

 

Twiddling his thumbs, Rumen thought about what he was doing. It seemed so wrong and yet here he was.

Ready to sell out his brother.

Ilarion had never been a good brother to him. Not like Lazar who’d beat up all the bullies or even like Nayden with his quiet concerns every now and then. Even his sisters were better to him than Ilarion. The oldest and yet he didn’t act like it when it came to protecting and caring for all of his siblings.

Rumen was never good enough for that care in his eldest brother’s eyes.

Maybe that was why he was willing to give him up so easily.

Ivo hadn’t even asked him for the address of their home. All he said was to hang out with Ilarion.

That was it.

He didn’t know when his father’s time was coming but it wasn’t it yet.

It was going to be Ilarion’s first it seemed.

The streets were empty because of the massive explosion that had gone off here in Elizabeth. Ivo had told him not to worry about it; it was them and he would be perfectly safe.

_“Just sit on a bench and have a chat with your older brother.”_

Why he trusted his cousin so much, Rumen didn’t know but he did. Even after Ivo had taken out his junk, he trusted him. When they were younger, his cousin was a lot like Lazar to Rumen; always willing protect him against the meanness of the world.

It had been weird watching and then seeing his testicles being placed in a box but no pain had occurred. Just like his cousin promised.

And Rumen seemed to be functioning just fine.

_Ivo held out the box to him. “Did you want them?”_

_Blinking down into a small wooden chest and staring at his balls just sitting there, Rumen whispered “Um…no I’m good. Not much I can do with them.”_

_Shrugging as he shut the lid and placed it on the table, Ivo replied while stripping off his gloves “Freeze ‘em or something. I don’t know, don’t care.” He tossed the gloves into the trash and slipped on a fresh pair, beginning to clean his tools. “Keep your stitches clean and you’ll be fine.”_

_Looking down, Rumen nodded silently. Probably no sex for the rest of his life; he could deal. At least, he got to keep his penis._

Kids weren’t something he had ever wanted anyways. He didn’t want them to end up stupid like him and then have to go through the horrors of growing up like he had.

At first, he had been a little worried about not telling Lazar what he was helping Ivo with but Rumen wanted to make a choice by himself. Lazar could have his heart attack later.

Turning to look at Ilarion with his clean cut facial hair and charming smile as he sat down beside him, Rumen stamped down the little bit of guilt and smiled. “Hi.”

“Hey,” his brother replied while giving him a once over, his stupid perfect hair not moving an inch. “You look okay.”

“I’m good,” he nodded. “Only missing my balls.”

His brother’s face went blank, his brown eyes wide. “What?”

Wasn’t he supposed to be the dumb one? “You know…testicles? Ivo took them out. Did a nice job if I’m one to judge; really clean and no infection or anything.”

“I’m sure my lord would appreciate the compliment,” came some voice that Ivo had told him would come. A gun was cocked and pressed to Ilarion’s head. “Hello there.”

Not moving and breathing steadily like he always did, Ilarion replied “Hello.”

“If you would come with me, good sir,” the Hispanic man said with a smile.

Once his brother stood, Rumen reached over and took his brother’s gun from his waistband. “Rumen,” Ilarion said, “What have you done?”

“Take your gun away.”

“You sold me out.” There was a tinge of anger coming into his brother’s voice. Rumen always feared that anger and Lazar would always protect him from it but there was no Lazar here. Just the Hispanic guy. But he was Ivo’s Hispanic guy and Ivo had told him that he wouldn’t get hurt.

So he wasn’t going to.

“I made a choice, just like Lazar-”

“Don’t speak that filth’s name!” Ilarion interrupted with fury and hate, eyes flashing with his handsome features turning ugly. They hadn’t taken Lazar’s leaving well. When they had finally realized that he was missing, Lazar had told him that the calls were unending and that he answered with a simple phrase.

Fuck you all.

“Lazar is the best person I’ve ever known. He’s not filth to me. If he believes that it was right to leave family, then I believe it to. I’m not sorry to a brother who never liked me.”

“Now let’s get moving, gentlemen,” the gunman said, “We’ve got to get back to Hoboken before the streets start closing.”

  

* * *

 

Damyan called his eldest again but still found no answer. He wasn’t worried but a little concerned maybe. He didn’t know whether or not he had been visiting the Italians warehouse and it’d been an hour since the explosion.

One hell of an explosion, that was for sure.

Pacing, Cesare cursed Ivo a thousand times over. Finally, he pointed at Damyan. “It is your war and yet I am constantly getting hit! This has gone to ridiculousness. Do you know how much money I just lost?”

His guess was more than they had calculated Ivo would lose when they blew his warehouses. “I-”

“Silence, please. This must end, Damyan. I am losing much and I have nothing to benefit from. I have suffered great losses and all that has happened to you is that a child went rogue.”

 _Traitor._ He had known Lazar was feeling conflicted but for him to turn? That was something he hadn’t seen. When Dali had said she couldn’t find him, he had thought that his second child had gone to brood somewhere. He enjoyed the peace of being alone. But then Raina was also gone and the worst was when Nayden called and said Yulian was missing.

Then he knew.

 _All for the bumbling idiot that his brother is._ Rumen was not worth betrayal in his mind.

“We lost Rumen,” Nayden said quietly. He had also been upset like Lazar but he at least wasn’t a traitor.

Cesare nodded as he sat down. “You are correct. I am sorry for overlooking that. Personal loss is not an easy one.” He paused when Damyan’s phone rang.

Relief flooded him – he didn’t even know he had been that worried. “Ilarion,” he said as he answered. “Where are you?”

“Alive and fine for the moment,” his son answered. He sounded fine which was a complete relief. “Can you put me on speaker, please?”

“Of course,” he replied as he hit the button. His son probably had news that Cesare needed to hear. Nayden by default since he was here. “Go ahead.”

“Why thank you,” a new voice laughed, “So polite.”

This wasn’t a voice he knew but by the scrunched look of Cesare and the panicked one of Nayden, Damyan had a hunch.

He was finally on the line with Ivo.

And if Ivo was with Ilarion…

A small ounce of worry hit his stomach. Damyan still didn’t know what happened to Rumen.

“Nothing to say, dear uncle?” Ivo questioned in humor. “That’s okay, don’t speak, just listen.”

“Ivo, please don’t hurt him,” Nayden said quickly in a scared voice, “Please. You already took Rumen.”

No son of his begged or spoke in fear. Especially to the shit on the other end of the line. “Silence, Nayden.”

“Hello again, Nayden! How are you? You should have left with Lazar and Raina.”

Fury bristled through him. He had known where Lazar would go but now that it was confirmed, he was even angrier. Nayden just looked troubled. “Lazar’s there?”

“Not the immediate vicinity, no, but he’s here. Safe and sound along with Rumen.”

Delight overtook his son’s troubles. “Rumen’s okay?”

“Oh, yes. Besides for not having any testicles, the man is perfectly okay.”

“You castrated my son?” Damyan hissed in utter hate. How dare he? What even gave him that right?

A laugh erupted from the phone. “Oh, Damyan, I thought Rumen wasn’t worth your time? Remember? You didn’t care that he was gone. And he doesn’t care for you. In fact, he was kind enough to get me Ilarion. Such a good man, isn’t he?”

Silence fell upon him and Nayden before his son whispered “Rumen sold out Ilarion?”

“Fucking filth,” came a snarl from Ilarion. The phone must also be on speaker.

“Now gentlemen, listen up,” Ivo said. “What’s going to happen is very simple. I’m going to ask a question and you’re going to answer. Okay? Okay.” The insanity that stemmed through his nephew truly amazed him. To Damyan, the boy literally sounded insane; he hadn’t been like this.

Maybe the voices in his head were worse.

_Damyan paused by the entrance to the kitchen in his brother’s house when he heard Emiliya talking. He was on his toes, always needing to know if anyone suspected anything yet. Because if they did, he was ruined. Yosef would see him dead._

_“But we don’t listen to them, right?” She asked whoever was with her._

_“But they’re not always bad,” came Ivo’s quiet whisper. You didn’t know he had an explosive temper unless you saw it. His nephew had anger issues that Yosef thought were hilarious and Emiliya worked hard to relax. “Sometimes, it’s just conversation.”_

_What were they talking about? It made no sense to him._

_There was the sound of some dishes and then his sister-in-law said “Do you carry this conversation with them?”_

_“Sometimes. Like I said, it’s good voices too, mamo. Nice ones.”_

_Voices? Was his nephew crazy in his mind?_

_“Then you can listen and chat with the nice ones. Ignore the bad ones; you don’t need them.”_

_There was silence before Ivo whispered “The bad ones are sometimes the loudest. Can’t you make them go away? They weren’t there before. None of them were. That means they can go away doesn’t it?”_

_Emiliya didn’t answer as she continued with dishes. Voices just didn’t magically go away._

“Okay,” Nayden said quickly with a nod even though Ivo couldn’t see it.

“Good boy. Now, how did Pavell die?”

Why was that even important? He had told his men to kill them however they wanted and he didn’t ask for details. He just wanted to know the job was done. “I don’t know.”

Ivo made an ‘incorrect’ noise. “Wrong. Try again.”

“I do not know, Ivo. I didn’t ask. I didn’t and still don’t care. What does this have to do with Ilarion?”

“Oh boy,” Ivo laughed, “Really wrong answer. But because I’m in a rush and have lots of things to do, I’ll just cut to the chase. My _eleven year-old_ brother was killed by being cut up into pieces which were then thrown to dogs. All while he was very very alive.”

Nayden’s eyes became huge and his skin turned sickly. “Oh Jesus.” Cesare’s reaction was something similar to a lesser degree but quickly hidden behind a mask of nothingness. The man, however, said nothing. Damyan’s guess was that it was Pavell’s age that bothered the Italian.

“What is your point?” Damyan snarled from his impatience. “I thought you were getting to it.”

Another sick laugh that reminded him too much of Yosef and then “My point, dear Damyan, is that I’m going to do the same exact thing to Ilarion while you sit there and listen to his screams.”

His heart didn’t just drop to a pit in his stomach; it fell out of his entire body. “Ivo-”

“Don’t hang up now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')  
> Стринка (strínka) – a father’s brother’s wife


	135. Chapter 134

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http//www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> I'm not gonna lie, this chpt and the next aren't my favorites out of the gang war arc. They aren't bad but they're kinda just...eh. They're more just like setting stuff up for the ending. I don't think they're boring but they aren't, you know, exciting I guess.
> 
> _"Family doesn’t have to be who you’re born with."_

“The explosion was retaliation,” O’Brien called as he walked over. “One of the Italian’s shipyards.”

Savelio nodded from where she leaned beside Raul, reading over his shoulder. “We figured as much.”

This needed to end.

Raul just had no idea how to get it to end. He knew what the hoped end result was for both sides – either Ivo and Joseph dead or Damyan.

Personally, he’d prefer Damyan but as an officer of the law, he wasn’t going to say that out loud.

“This is getting uglier by the second,” O’Brien sighed with a shake of his head. “No one is going to stop until they get what they want.”

“And that could take a while,” Raul muttered in his frustration. Soon, it wasn’t going to be just criminals dying. Innocents would end up getting stuck in between and that was the last thing they wanted to happen.

Sitting on the edge of Raul’s desk to his slight annoyance, O’Brien asked “You try talking to Kavinsky?”

“No cigar,” Savelio replied. “He’s not going to stop until he sees what he wants done.”

Nodding in thought, O’Brien said “Tonight, meet me at the Basement Bar. Eightish.”

Raul and Savelio stared at their colleague in surprise. Sure, they had been friendly since they had worked together on the protective detail but going out for drinks? “Uh, particular reason?”

The Irishman nodded. “Important info I wanna pass on and you guys are the ones I trust most with this. There’s too many ears here; I don’t want to say it.”

Now this had Raul worried. What couldn’t be said in a precinct? Unless…

Maybe like Raul, O’Brien had figured that a certain couple weren’t all that law abiding as they liked to project.

“We’ll be there.”

  

* * *

 

“You’re still mad at me?”

Lazar ignored Rumen who had come to stand beside the couch he was sitting on. He was fucking pissed right now. Picking up a paper at random from the ones he had taken from his father, he tried to make it seem like he was busy.

“Lazar?”

He continued ignoring his younger brother who had been stupid enough to make such a huge decision by himself. A decision that had lost them a brother two days ago. Ilarion was a piece of shit sometimes, yeah, but for fucking sakes, he didn’t deserve what had been done to him.

_Neither did Pavell._

His cousin was eleven when the same exact thing had been done to him. He hadn’t even had a life yet.

Why the hell was his family so sick?

“Fine, don’t talk. But I know I made the right choice even if you don’t agree. Do I feel guilty? Yeah, kind of, but that’s because I’m a good guy. Ilarion and tatko didn’t care that I was gone. I’m lucky that Ivo hadn’t wanted to kill me but what if he had? Do you think they would have missed the shame of the family?”

“You’re not-”

“Oh look, he talks,” Rumen snorted in mild disdain. “And to them, I am. I’m stupid and barely know right from left and wanted to be a chef. Nothing winning about me.”

Things his father constantly hung on Rumen’s head. “I think you’re awesome.”

They glanced to the door of the small apartment Ivo had put them in when it opened. In came Ivo and whoever his guard was today. Lazar had a difficult time looking at his cousin when he knew that only a couple days ago he fed his brother to dogs. “Gentlemen.”

“Ivo.”

“And lady,” he smiled when Raina came out from the room. “Anything interesting in the pile of garbage you obtained?”

Sighing, Lazar melted into the couch and covered his face with the paper he still held. Reading all this was ridiculous and driving him insane. Why did mobsters document every single mundane detail? “No.” He felt the couch dip beside him and could tell it was Rumen just from the way the person sat. “I hate both of you right now.”

“That’s nice,” Ivo replied in a bored tone while there was the sound of papers moving. He must be checking out whatever was strewn on the table. “Now make yourself useful.”

“Fucking sigh,” he groaned as he yanked the paper off his face and sat up. “This is all bullshit, Ivo. There’s nothing important in these papers; I don’t know what you expect me to find.”

Picking up some page of something, Ivo replied while focused on reading “There’s always something hidden. You just have to find it. Sometimes they’re in plain sight and you just don’t know it.”

“Or maybe you don’t think it’s important but it actually is,” Rumen added in a helpful tone. Lazar noticed his brother liked to kiss up to Ivo. But then, he always had.

“Exactly.”

Rolling his eyes, Lazar actually really looked at the paper he had been holding. “This is…” He looked harder. This was his first time being in America so he didn’t know for sure but this paper looked pretty damn official. “I think this is an official police paper.”

“There are corrupt cops here just like in Bulgaria,” Ivo noted as he continued reading whatever he had.

True. “This one lists uh…officers I guess.” _Officers assigned on special assignment? Protective detail…109 Grand Street-_

Lazar knew that address.

_“Give the driver an address in Hoboken. I don’t know any.”_

_“109 Grand St, Hoboken.”_

_“Where are our detectives? I don’t think I saw them?”_

He focused harder on what he was reading. The paper listed Yulian’s address and the three detectives assigned – Raul Luis Vidal, Kehaulani Mele Savelio, and Finn Aidan O’Brien. It was signed off by a sergeant at the bottom. _But who sent it?_ “Ivo.”

“Hmm…”

“Ivo, you need to see this.” Someone had written in pencil the date in the top corner; it reminded him of his father’s handwriting. Maybe the day he received it? His father always liked to make sure he kept everything straight and organized.

The date was only a few days ago. Maybe the day Lazar broke in.

His cousin looked up from his reading. “What?”

Getting off the couch, he sat beside him and pointed out the names and address. “This. Ivo, they have Yulian’s address.”

Yanking the paper from him, Ivo stared down at it. “How did they get this.”

“Dirty cop?” Rumen supplied but Ivo shook his head.

“Only a few people knew about this. The detectives listed, the sergeant, and maybe two others. That’s it. We kept it quiet.”

Lazar’s mind went to the amazing children he had met in that house. Vesela and Nikol. He liked everyone he had come to know. “We need to move them. Today. Now would be fantastic.

Nodding quickly, Ivo stood abruptly while taking out his phone. “I need to get to the bottom of this and find out who leaked it. Go to the house, tell Asen and Yulian. Whatever they ask you guys to do, do it.”

Jumping to his feet, Lazar nodded. “Don’t worry, we’ll handle it.”

 

* * *

 

“Raul!”

“Someone’s not happy today,” Savelio muttered as they both stared at the angry form of Ivo coming over to them. He was alone, probably having ditched the guards outside. Many of their fellow officers stared at the furious figure making his way over in surprise. A touch of contempt too as the Bulgarian lord seemed to come in frequently without anyone being able to stop him.

He was about to stand because he hated when people towered over him but then Ivo slammed a paper down on his desk, halting him in his chair. “Why the fuck did Damyan have this?”

Taking his glance from the raging Bulgarian to the paper, Raul focused on what he had. “This is the approval form.”

“I know what the fuck it is. Why. Did. Damyan. Have. It.”

That was something he had no idea about. Only a handful of people knew about the protective detail. They had made sure not to spread the word.

And yet it was leaked out.

“I don’t know…” Raul murmured in confusion while still staring at the paper in his hand. The entire family was very possibly in danger if Damyan had the address. “Have you moved them?”

“In the process,” Ivo replied with a tone still tinged with violent ferocity. “I shouldn’t have had to though. This wasn’t supposed to be common knowledge, detective.”

Savelio spoke up from her desk. “It wasn’t, Ivo. The only ones who knew were us, O’Brien, the sarge, and the other detective we spoke to in gang unit. Oh, and the ADA.”

The ADA.

Sofia Popov.

“We need to talk to O’Brien,” Raul said as he quickly stood.

Ivo stared at him in confusion. “He’s a pain in the ass but even I know he’s not dirty.”

“I didn’t say he was. But he knows what I’ve had a hunch about for a while now. Something tells me he might have the proof I don’t.”

  

* * *

 

One would think being in his grandfather’s house would be comforting.

It wasn’t.

All it did was remind Joseph of the wonderful man they had lost.

Placing his pets’ carriers on the floor, Joseph took a deep breath. Through this whole thing, he hadn’t been scared once.

Now he was.

Really, he shouldn’t be because they had the best guards ever but Joseph didn’t like the fact that Damyan had found them.

He looked at his mother when she stopped beside him and set down their bags. They had only packed one each this time. There wasn’t time for much else. “Mayko?”

The look of worry she had on her face quickly disappeared into a smile. “Yes, baby?”

Grating his lip between his teeth, he asked “C-Can we share a room?” Being alone wasn’t something he was down for.

She blinked in surprise at him then replied “Of course. We’ll throw your bashtá on the floor and we can share the bed.”

“Sounds good,” he couldn’t help but laugh with a shake of his head. “We should go do first pick of a room before anyone else.”

“Hey,” his tetíncho griped as he ‘walked’ over to them. You couldn’t really call the way he hopped along on crutches walking. “I’m the injured party here; I get first dibs.”

“Your choices are limited to downstairs rooms. No one feels like dragging your butt up.”

“Rude,” his uncle snorted, actually sounding a little offended as he hobbled over to a couch to rest. Maybe Joseph had crossed the line a bit with that one. Albena bounced over to her father and threw herself on him causing him to groan and practically cry in pain. She kissed him in a form of apology and curled into his side. “Such abusive children.”

“Rude,” Joseph mocked as he opened up Peanut’s carrier. The old cat was hesitant at her new surroundings but relaxed a bit when the people surrounding her were her typicals. She waited patiently for Waddle to be freed.

Joseph was a bit worried about the dog. The basset was slowing down and Joseph had a feeling he knew why. He just wasn’t sure if he was ready for it yet. True, he had said in the beginning he’d be fine and understanding when Waddle passed but…

Yeah, he wasn’t too sure now.

Waddling out of his own carrier, the hound pressed his nose into Peanut’s fur and they both walked over to the carpet in the dining room to take a seat.

They were adorable.

Sighing as he stood and shook his head, he walked over to his uncle who had been joined by the rest of his kids. “Tetíncho, what are the chances of Damyan finding us here?”

“You don’t need to worry about it. We’ll handle it.”

“I need to worry about it being that I’m very much on the ‘needs to die’ list before any of the rest of you.” Okay, maybe he was little more than scared. Damyan was getting closer and Joseph was terrified. How did moving to a different house really change anything? “He could find this place just as easy.”

“But he won’t,” Lazar said as he walked over and took a seat. “He found the house because of some paper he got from a corrupt cop who found out about the detail. The leak is already being determined meaning that this location can’t be leaked out.”

“Also, there are no detectives here,” Asen added, “Besides for Detectives Vidal and Savelio and maybe even O’Brien, there is no official paperwork listing this place; no one knows it. We’ll keep you all safe, Joseph. Have faith in how well we do our jobs.”

He did have faith. Really. Joseph trusted all of them and their skills.

But that didn’t stop the insistent fear crowding him.

  

* * *

 

Nayden shut the door behind himself as he left his father alone in his mourning in his office. He was taking Ilarion’s death hard and Nayden couldn’t even blame him.

Those screams were something that were on loop in his brain. Ilarion hadn’t screamed at first – he had taken the pain with pained grunts like he was gritting his mouth shut to make sure he wouldn’t give Ivo the satisfaction of earning a cry.

That hadn’t lasted long. The screams arrived not soon after the horror started. He hadn’t stayed for the entire duration of the call; he couldn’t listen to his brother being tortured any longer.

Then there was the video.

Only two minutes in and Nayden was rushing to throw up in the bathroom.

He never watched the rest. There would never be a day that he’d watch the rest. No way in hell.

His father on the other hand had watched the entire thing, needing to see what they did to his favorite pride and joy. What had really grated his father was when broken and bruised Yulian on crutches had showed. Apparently, the man didn’t have the strength to torture but he was given one of Ilarion’s hands that Ivo had removed after the fingers had been taken off and threw it to the savage dogs.

Karma is what the blonde had laughed is what he was told. What his father constantly repeated in a hateful rage under his breath.

Going to his room, he thought about the horrible mess they were now. They had come to America in hopes of expanding internationally. And what did they have to show from their trip?

One dead, two gone with one joining the other in becoming sterile. Three gone if you counted Raina.

And angry Italians.

Cesare was sick of being stuck in this. Four of his men had been jumped by some Hispanic group from Puerto Rico.

No survivors.

The next day, two other men were found hanging from streetlights on the intersection near their restaurant, the group’s signature carved into the men’s stomachs.

The Italian head definitely wasn’t in a happy mood for the time being.

Nayden was worried that Cesare would take out his father himself. The man was losing too much in all this and there was no longer profit to see.

But weren’t they losing a lot too? Was this all even worth it? If Ivo had wanted to stake a claim back home, wouldn’t he have done it by now?

Maybe his cousin had never wanted anything to do with Bulgaria in the first place.

“Come in,” he sighed when there was a knock on his door. His youngest sibling’s round face showed up through the crack in the door. “What.”

Slipping fully in and shutting the door, Ognyana sat softly beside him on the bed. At twenty-three, should could care less for all the garbage of a mob. She hated it more than anything and wanted to have a seemingly normal life. “Nayden, I want to say something but promise you won’t be mad and tell tatko.”

That was easy; Nayden didn’t even want to look at his father. This whole shit show was his fault, he just realized with his musings. “Go ahead.”

“I want to go to Lazar, Raina, and Rumen.”

He froze as these words processed in his brain. Finally, Nayden looked to his sister and whispered “Leave?” She nodded, her pretty blue eyes sparkling with worry. “Are you crazy?”

“Nayden, this whole thing is a stupid mess and you know it. At least in Bulgaria, we were all alive and happy. We come here and look at us. Tatko is ruining us, Nayden. He says ‘family’ and ‘family’ but look how much family he’s sacrificed so easily. The only one that hurts him is Ilarion. No one else. Not Rumen or Lazar or even when he killed chícho. For God’s sake, he killed Pavell. Maybe I didn’t know him because I was barely even born when he died but he killed my cousin. A child.”

These were thoughts that had passed a lot through his mind since Ilarion had been killed. But it hadn’t occurred to him to go to his older brothers. That was treason; he’d be a traitor.

“Listen to me, Nayden. I know it sounds bad but I want to leave. Leave with me. This is ridiculous. I know you know it.”

Did he trust his murderous cousin more than he trusted his murderous father?

Surprisingly, the answer was yes. He trusted Ivo to be welcoming and not hurt them. Maybe he’d get hit a few times on Yulian’s behalf but that wasn’t so bad was it?

“Did you bring anything important?” he asked quietly. They’d leave now; no packing necessary. He didn’t need his clothes. His sister shook her head. “Okay, let’s go then. Just like we’re taking a walk. No big deal.”

His sister nodded, looking hopeful at the prospect of freedom.

When did being around his father feel like prison?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')  
> Стринка (strínka) – a father’s brother’s wife


	136. Chapter 135

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> Enjoy ^.^
> 
> _“We got places to be, things to do, dear child.”_

Milan and Sofia Popov were dirty; it was that simple.

O’Brien had proved that much to him, Savelio, and Ivo. Raul and his partner were going to take it to the sarge while O’Brien checked out a few more things.

Then they lost contact with the good pain in the ass detective.

And when they had finally found him, his colleague was quite the mess.

The good that had come of it all was that they had caught the Popovs in the act. Evidence was a damning bastard.

_“NJSP! Freeze and hands in the air!” Raul shouted as he broke into a basement of a house that they had managed to track down._

_“Drop the knife!” Savelio joined as she came in behind him, gun pointed at weapon-wielding Milan. “Now!”_

_Sofia who had been holding down O’Brien’s head so they could…what Raul didn’t know… Cut his ear off? froze and flicked a quick glance to her husband to see what they were going to do. Her husband glanced between Raul and his partner before throwing the knife to the floor in frustration. “Go ahead, arrest me. No one will believe the words of a detective who’s friends with Ivo Kavinsky.”_

_“They’ll believe me,” O’Brien coughed. His face was blackened and bloodied but the fierce detective smiled to Raul and said “Knew you’d find me, gangster.”_

The Irish detective was taken to a hospital and declared stable despite his wounds.

With both ears intact.

“Probably should have just killed him instead of going for torture,” Raul said as he took a seat across from them in an interrogation room. “Really wasn’t your smartest choice. Complete waste of your time.”

“We won’t speak until our lawyer arrives,” Milan reiterated for the thousandth time since he and Sofia had been dragged in.

“I have no idea what you think a lawyer is going to do for you, Mr. Mateev, when I caught you in the act of torturing a NJSP detective. Again, not your smartest move.”

Milan stared at him in a mixture of emotions before saying “So you know my given surname, big deal. Anyone can get that off my file, detective.”

Raul shrugged. “I didn’t say I triumphed in finding it, Milan, I simply used it.” He looked to Sofia sitting beside her husband, “Can I call you Mrs. Mateev?”

“No,” she said coldly. “It’s not a name we go by.”

“Mmm, but why?” Raul inquired though he really didn’t care. At least when they didn’t use it, they didn’t disrespect Venc’s name. The boy may have been a criminal but he was the class of them all.

One of the most amazing people that kid.

“Though it is none of your business,” Milan took charge of the question, “It is because I did not get along well with my family and preferred not to be reminded of them.”

“Ah,” Raul said as if it all made sense. “I mean, look, I know bába can be a little anal sometimes but really, she’s such a wonderful woman. She couldn’t have been that bad to live with.”

The Popovs looked at him in confusion. “Excuse me?” Sofia said incredulously. “Who are you even talking about?”

“Duh, bába Zornitsa Mateev. Your mother-in-law,” Raul reminded with a smile. “I love that woman, to be honest. Truly wonderful and amazing and a fantastic role model for Ivet. Hell, she reminds me a lot of my mother.”

With every word he said, the couple’s eyes grew. Raul wasn’t originally going to bring this all up but he realized that he wanted to bring some hell for those kids before he threw their shit parents in jail.

Or, you know, they got assassinated by one of the groups they helped because they might open their mouths and sell them out.

Not something he was opposed to, honestly.

“I-I don’t know an Ivet,” Sofia stammered with a glance to her husband.

He agreed; she had absolutely no idea who her daughter was. “You know the name but you don’t know the actual person. The smart independent grown woman she’s becoming. You missed out on watching Vencislav grow. When I met him, he was seventeen but he was one of the most mannered smart young men I have ever met. He worked hard to give his sister and grandmother the proper life they deserved. The life you both cheated them of. And for what? To be corrupt law enforcement? Sounds pretty stupid to me.”

“Worked hard as a mobster, you mean,” Milan said in disgust, not bothering to act like he didn’t know who they were talking about. They must have read about Venc in the stuff they had on the Bulgarians.

“I mean, don’t act like you suddenly care,” Raul almost laughed. Was this idiot serious? “You’re a dirty cop and you’re going to hate on Venc for being a mobster? What’s sad is that mobsters have more honor and respect than pigs who like to roll too much in the mud.”

Milan’s nose flared at the insult. “Being a mobster is what got him killed.”

Sighing and shaking his head, Raul replied “Seriously, stop acting like you suddenly care. You’re insulting his wonderful memory. You left them and that’s that.”

“Kids are more hassle than they are worth, detective,” Sofia joined the conversation. “They got in the way of work. We have a reputation to uphold. We knew they’d be fine with the bitch.”

He couldn’t help the snort that escaped him before he said “Contraception is a thing, guys. You should probably think about using it. And for the record, bába isn’t a bitch.” He paused when there was a knock at the door and it was opened.

And in walked Ivet and bába.

Huh.

Ivo and Savelio came in after them and his partner shut the door. When they caught eyes, she shrugged and pointed at Ivo, mouthing _he did it_.

Okay then.

Smiling to bába and Ivet, he offered his chair to the older woman; she didn’t need to stand. Taking his seat, bába stared at the two before her. Ivet stood close to Ivo with her arms crossed tight, defiance and hate deep in her hazel eyes. Flicking a glance to Raul, she said “Hiya, Mr. Vidal.”

“Hi, Ivet,” he smiled. “It’s a school night, shouldn’t you be sleeping?”

She rolled her eyes but a touch of humor and happiness lit her eyes. “In my defense, I was sleeping until my lord came knocking.” She gave a quick smile to Ivo, “Rude.”

Taking a slight bow with his head, Ivo smirked “My apologies, my dear lady.”

“You knew,” Sofia said accusingly to Ivo. “You knew the entire time.” She looked between Raul and Savelio, “You guys too.”

“Of course,” Ivo snorted, “What I didn’t know was that you pair are a load of dirty shits. You’re very lucky Detective Vidal has you; I don’t take kindly to people who sell out my family.”

“Is that a threat?”

“Take it as you wish, Sofia. I could care less really. I have bigger worries than a pair of amateurs who don’t even know how to cover a trail. How you haven’t been caught working for random Eastern European groups, I’ve no clue. Maybe the detectives suck in those cities. The two mistakes you made here was getting under Vidal and Savelio’s noses. They’re a pair of bright ones, these two. Even the fucker O’Brien.”

Special Agent Milan was looking incredibly annoyed having to listen to Ivo. “And the second mistake, oh great lord?”

“Getting under my nose,” he smiled. “I simply ignored you before as you traveled around. Not worth my headache especially after Venc wanted nothing to do with you two. But then you come here, to my city, and start playing in a game that you shouldn’t have. Selling your services to Damyan was a very bad idea.”

The Popovs fell silent because they were probably agreeing now that they had been caught. When everyone realized that they weren’t going to say anything, bába finally took her turn.

Luckily in English so Raul knew what the hell was being said. Savelio too. He knew bába changed languages for their benefits alone.

“I swore I would beat you the day I saw you again. I swore it and yet as I sit here I realize that you aren’t even worth my breath. My effort. You left two of the most beautiful children behind. Beautiful children that I love more than anyone in this world and would do anything for. Your son became a better man than you ever were and your daughter a powerful wonderful young lady. They weren’t the ones who lost out, you were.”

And she spit on him.

Literally spit on him. Raul wanted to laugh but he felt that it was unprofessional of him to do so.

But man, did he want to.

It was Ivet’s turn now that bába was finished. The girl didn’t move from beside Ivo though; if anything, she moved closer. She was a little scared at facing them, he could tell. Not because they were scary but because these were people’s rejection she had faced without even knowing them. She aimed at not showing her fear though.

Chin raised in defiance and eyes flashing, she said “I thought a lot over the years what I would say to you guys. Like a lot a lot. Curses, hate, everything. But then we were driving over here and I realized that really, I have one thing to say. And that? That would be thank you.”

Everyone except bába seemed confused. “Thank you?” Sofia said carefully. Was she stupid enough to actually believe that Ivet liked her? Forgave her?

“Yes,” Ivet nodded. “Thank you. And you know what I’m thanking you for? I’m thanking you for leaving. By leaving you made me stronger, made Venc, and even bába stronger. If you hadn’t left, Venc would have never met my lord. And I have every single good thing in my life to thank him for. He and Lady Vesela are for us what you guys should have been. I love them almost as much as bába.” She laughed then and shook her head, turning to Ivo. “Only almost, my lord.”

Another eyeroll and a smile. “I’ll take what I can get.”

“Anyways,” she continued, “thank you. Like truly and honestly. Family doesn’t have to be who you’re born with. My family grew three times as big from knowing my lord and Lord Simeonov. Their families are my family and it doesn’t get better than that. Although, I will say I wish I knew how to spit like bába because then I’d throw one in just for Venc.”

Now he had to laugh; he couldn’t help it. Bába smiled to her granddaughter then stood and hugged her tight. “I will take care of it.”

With that, the old woman very gladly spit on ADA Popov.

  

* * *

 

They were so lost. Coming to a city they had never even been in and not having an address or anyone to call was just plain stupid. He had Lazar’s number but he hadn’t taken anyone’s calls in days and definitely wasn’t taking his today. _Maybe just leave a message._

“What are you doing?” Ognyana asked as he sat down on a bench on some stupid random street and pulled out his phone. It was dark and them spending the night on the street sounded like a bad idea.

He wondered if his father had noticed they were gone. If not him, maybe Dali or Lani? Would they hold hard feelings?

Probably.

“Leaving Lazar a message and hoping for the best,” Nayden muttered as he waited to be connected to voicemail. He was surprised when the line actually opened. “Uh, hello?”

“This better be fucking good. You better be fucking dying or someone else is,” Lazar answered in an incredibly annoyed voice.

“Um, no dying,” he laughed nervously. If he didn’t get Lazar on their side, then he and his sister were screwed. His father would never welcome them back. “I, uh, we actually, were hoping to…join you…?”

Silence fell on the other end of the line before Lazar asked carefully “We?”

“Me and Ognyana. We made it to Hoboken but we’ve no idea where we are or where to go. And we don’t have anything either; didn’t bring anything. Just left.”

The silence came again but instead of a stifling one, it was thoughtful. “You’d never lie to me, right?”

He knew what his brother was asking. Was he trying to get him caught? “I swear, Lazar. Just me and Ognyana. We left but we don’t know where we’re supposed to go. We wanted to be with you and Rumen. I swear on everything.”

More silence was what he was expecting but it didn’t come. “Okay.” Nayden could imagine his brother nodding. “Okay. Someone will come get you guys, alright? Do whatever they say, okay?”

“Okay,” Nayden nodded and then relayed the name of the cross streets they were on before they hung up. Turning to his sister, he mumbled “I hope this isn’t a mistake.”

Shaking her head, she replied “I don’t think so. If Lazar felt it was right, then I’m trusting him. He always knows what’s best.”

  

* * *

 

“Do you know a park or something that has a mountain and two lakes near the base?” Joseph asked his father. They didn’t get to spend much time together anymore and probably wouldn’t be able to until this whole mess was over. So, their quiet time was late at night, before Joseph went to bed.

Because, obviously, his father never slept.

His father was lying on the bed that Joseph and his mother were sharing. They had told him he could squish himself on with them, but his father had refused saying that his sleep was often restless and to just make themselves comfortable.

Rubbing his forehead in a tired movement, his father yawned “Mountain and two lakes?”

“Yup,” he replied as he curled into his father’s side as they lay down. It wasn’t easy anymore, Joseph realized in delight. He was getting too tall for certain cuddling ways. Mildly depressing but he’d deal since he got to have some height now.

“State park maybe,” his father mumbled with his eyes closed. “Up north there’s two if I remember right. I think we have a couple high mountains there. Look at a map, maybe it’ll help.”

Joseph was surprised that his father didn’t ask why. _Probably too tired._ “Like a map of Jersey?” His father hummed in agreement.

 _Guess I can do that._ It was an angle he actually forgot about. Well, hadn’t thought about because he didn’t think the dream map box would lead them somewhere here. What was there to see here that someone needed a dream map to find it?

“State park,” Joseph whispered in sudden realization. “Up north.”

“That’s what I said,” his father murmured in exhaustion, his eyes still closed.

_“He made tate promise to bury him in a state park up north.”_

Maybe the map lead his grandfather to a specific burial site? Told him where to bury his prádyádo? _He had wanted to go home…_

Was it possible that whichever park this was…was similar to his great grandfather’s dream place? Maybe he had a forest like Joseph? He didn’t have any mountains in his but maybe that’s because he had never thought of it. What if dream places were malleable and could be worked to be exactly as the dreamer wanted if they knew how to take control and work it?

Control wasn’t something he knew how to exert. It was more like the forest ran him instead of the other way around. But maybe he just had to learn?

What if his prádyádo had so much control over his dreams that he was able to create his own paradise? The man had obviously had enough command to take out an entire functioning human being so maybe he could manifest huge inanimate places?

 _But the state parks are old; been there for years before prádyádo was even born…_ Okay, maybe not an entire forest of that size but what about a certain part of it? Maybe his ‘home’ was somewhere between the mountain and lakes? Like it manifested itself in between dream and reality.

Its own sort of limbo.

A knock came at their bedroom door and the knocker – who turned out to be Asen – called through “My lord, Lazar and them are here. Two more have joined him it seems.”

His father jumped to his feet in seconds, striding to the door, and opening it. “Repeat that.”

“Lazar says he was called by his two youngest siblings. They had come here but were lost and wanted to join him, his wife, and Rumen. He sent the guard we keep at their apartment to get them, checked out their stories, and brought them here. He says they are clean and genuine in their intentions.”

Tapping his fingers on the door, his father nodded as he comprehended this new development. He wasn’t looking like intimidating Lord Kavinsky at the moment with his hair a mess and in a black long sleeve and black sweats but Joseph didn’t doubt his father’s imposing presence. Even looking like he was half asleep, the man knew how spark fear. He’d need it to make sure he didn’t have a of couple rats in his home.

“Very well,” he finally nodded. “Let’s go have a chat.” He pointed at Joseph, “Stay put.”

“Tatko-”

“Nope.”

“Please? You know I’m just going to try and listen in. I like seeing you all ‘Lord Kavinsky’ on people’s asses. C’mon.”

Asen was trying to hide his smile while his father shook his head and rolled his eyes. “First, you don’t get to say ass. I’ll have mayko put soap in your mouth.” Joseph just smiled his expert charmer smile. “Second, you should be sleeping being that it’s practically midnight.”

“We were talking,” Joseph reminded. “C’mon, please? Do you actually think Asen would have let them in if they were a threat? Please?”

Huffing, his father replied “Fine, but go call your tetíncho first. Even if he’s sleeping. Tell him it’s important and who’s here.”

“No problemo!” Joseph exclaimed in happiness at winning. Bouncing off the bed, he rushed past his father and Asen and down two doors to the room his tetíncho and tétka were using. He knocked twice, “Knock, knock. This is an urgent message brought to you by Joseph Kavinsky saying Lord Simeonov is very much needed by the supreme ruler dude. We have nonviolent nonthreatening visitors.”

“Supreme ruler dude,” his father snorted as he shook his head and began walking away while fixing his hair. “Such a flattering title.”

“I think I should use that once in a while for him,” Asen joked as he followed and his tetíncho finally opened the door after the sound of some fumbling.

Messier than even his father, tetíncho Yulian dragged himself out, hobbling on his crutches and shutting the door after himself. Joseph smiled to him and revealed “I get to sit in with you guys.”

His uncle’s eyes lit in surprise as they slowly made their way to the living room. “Really? Interesting.”

“And awesome,” he smiled. He knew that if it was such a super important meeting, his father would have never let him but it didn’t matter. Any meeting was cool with him.

Smiling to Lazar – who Joseph had come to like, Joseph sat on the floor next his father’s feet as tetíncho Yulian very slowly lowered himself down onto the couch with a minor grimace. He gave smiles to Raina and Rumen too. Staring closely at the newcomers, Joseph asked “So which ones are you guys?”

The man blinked before replying “The youngest ones. Nayden and Ognyana.”

“Ah,” he nodded. “Nice to meet you guys.” Joseph looked to Lazar, “I think I have two more to go now?” Technically three but from what he’d heard, the oldest had been killed.

“Magdalina and Malina. The twins,” his father’s cousin nodded. “They come after Rumen, before Nayden.”

“They gonna turn good guys like you guys? You should tell them to.”

Nayden cocked his head in thought. “How do you determine who’s a good guy and who isn’t?”

“Duh,” Joseph snorted, “The good guys are the ones who don’t want to kill me just because my last name. I don’t want your stupid empire anyways; I’ve got my own unique future planned already.” He made an arc with his hands like he had seen Spongebob do for ‘imagination’ “Mechanical engineering veterinarian Joseph Kavinsky.” Pointing at Nayden, he smiled “I fix your pet on weekdays and on weekends, I fix your car.”

A huge smile came on the man’s face while Lazar, Rumen, and Raina laughed. He felt his father’s leg shaking and turned to see him quietly laughing into his hands. “What? It’s a genius business model. Anka will do all the designing and decorating ‘cuz she likes that stuff, mayko will be my receptionist, Andrey will be my assistant, and Albena can clean everything.”

“Why’s Albena have to clean everything?” tetíncho Yulian asked with a laugh. “Doesn’t sound like a great job.”

“Because,” Joseph emphasized, “She spends her life making messes, so she can spend her career cleaning them.”

“Brilliant,” his father laughed with a shake of his head.

“Anyways,” he continued on to Nayden, “Good guys are whoever are on my side. Are you on my side?”

Face falling from his humor, Nayden replied “I just want all this to stop. I’ve lost too much already.”

“And you’re going to lose more,” his father said, taking over the conversation now. “This is going to end the minute I murder your father. That’s the only way this is going to stop. I’m not going to ask you to give him up because quite frankly, I enjoy finding people. But he’s going to die, Nayden; it’s as simple as that.”

His father’s cousin turned to look at Lazar who was now officially the oldest. “And you’re sitting here okay with that?”

Quiet fell as Lazar thought of his answer carefully. At last, he finally answered “I’d rather that a sick horrible man die than a little boy. And that’s all I’m going to say.”

More than enough for Joseph. He’d rather that happened too.

Nodding, the youngest brother turned back to Joseph’s father and said “I’m not on my father’s side and I’m only on yours by default. You ask me to do something against my family, I’ll refuse but I won’t give you or your family up.”

“Fair enough,” his father nodded. “But since that is the case and I can’t test you for your loyalty, a guard will be assigned to you. Everywhere you go, he goes. Should you leave him, I will immediately assume you’ve turned against me. Fill in the blank on what’ll happen. I’m sure you remember the phone call.”

Joseph was surprised when literally all of them turned a little pale. Looked a little sick. Except, surprisingly, Rumen. He didn’t even seem bothered. Maybe a little guilty because of the expressions his siblings wore but that was all.

“I won’t do anything,” Nayden said quickly. “But please, just…just finish this mess. I want to go home. I’ve never hated a place as much as I hate this one.”

“Maybe you should have come with better intentions,” tetíncho snorted. “Maybe then things would have been different.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')  
> Стринка (strínka) – a father’s brother’s wife


	137. Chapter 136

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> I like this one.  
> A lot.  
> Hopefully, y'all will too.  
> Senseless death happens today. Poor girl barely had like six lines too.  
> Oh and uh, send some flowers to the hospital for Asen. He's also a big fan of cheese danishes altho idk if his stomach will handle them.
> 
> P.S. I just realized this chpt has exactly 3500 words. Is that a nice number or what?  
> P.P.S. For anyone who's lost track of ages and didn't read the comment I answered for Goldfish, here you go.
> 
> Joseph/Emilio: 13 1/2ish (Emilio is older)  
> Vesela: 36 (freshly)  
> Ivo: 39 (few months till 40)  
> Nikol: 38 1/2ish  
> Yulian: 42 (also freshish)  
> Andrey: 14 (almost 15)  
> Anka: 12 (freshish like Yulian cuz they both in Sept)  
> Albena: 3 1/2  
> Timotei: almost a year  
> Raul: 38 (almost 39)  
> Claudia: 40 1/2ish  
> Maria: 20 (almost 21)  
> Alicia: 17 (couple months from 18)  
> Linda: 15 (almost 16)  
> Alondra: 5 (fresh)  
> Ivet: 16 (couple from 17)
> 
> Damyan: 64  
> Ilarion: 42  
> Lazar: 39  
> Rumen: 34  
> Magdalina /Malina: 31  
> Nayden: 28  
> Ognyana: 23
> 
> _“I hadn’t realized you deserve any respect."_

“I have nothing to lose!” Damyan shouted at Cesare, feeling his blood smoldering deep inside him. This was it; he was done with all of this shit. He’d reached his final straw in finding that his last son had left him. There was no legacy left for him besides for the hope he placed in Ilarion’s boys. “If you will not assist me, I do not care! I will do it myself! There is nothing to lose!”

It was true; he had nothing left to lose. His wife and grandchildren were out of reach being that they were back in Bulgaria. At least he wouldn’t lose them. Not that they were any use to him like his children were supposed to be. He had his twins but that was it.

And truthfully? What the hell was he going to get out of two twin girls? He didn’t have a son left to his name. The only true one had been tortured to death. One was no longer a man with his castration although he was never one in the first place and the one he had high hopes in deserted him last night.

And then there was Lazar, the one who couldn’t even make a child.

Pathetic.

Damyan blamed it all on that one. If he hadn’t left, the others would have never left. It wouldn’t have entered Nayden and Ognyana’s minds that leaving was something that was to be done.

Yes, Lazar was the reason his family had fallen to pieces.

He was going to die alongside the cousin he loved so much.

“You have truly gone mad, Damyan,” Cesare said with a touch of pity in his voice. Pity that made his hate and anger flare even further. “You have lost much and it has driven you to complete madness.”

“Madness?” Damyan hissed in anger. “No, this is revenge. Madness is what Ivo Kavinsky is with the voices he hears in his mind. That is what a mad person looks like.”

Cesare looked to be contemplating this new revelation but the Italian said nothing of it. “If Lord Kavinsky is what mad is, then you are fifty times more mad than him. Never in a thousand years would he suggest what you suggest to be done. It is something that serves no purpose in any sort of advancement of territory or assets or money. It’s pointless, Damyan. It is petty. If anything, it’ll just cause things to turn worse.”

Fury ignited even brighter than before. Flames were going to catch the boiling gasoline within him. And he hadn’t even told the man the entirety of his plan. Nor did he plan to; the Italian would see him dead if he knew the extent of what he was going to do. “You dare compare me to that filth? You dare?”

Standing to his full height, Cesare replied in a stern tone “Remember your place and the way you speak to me. You are my guest, not the other way around. However, I have come to realize that ever working with you was one of my worst ideas yet. Whatever plans and promises we have shared are officially terminated, Damyan. Leave my city.”

A laugh erupted from him. “Oh, I’m leaving. I’m leaving and I’m going to make sure that Ivo Kavinsky never existed.”

“An endeavor you will surely fail at.”

 

* * *

 

Dali stared at her father as he threw things into a bag. He had stormed into the house and said nothing; simply rushed to his room and started to gather some of his things. When he noticed her standing, he snarled “Can I help you.”

She blinked in surprise at his harshness. After Ilarion of course, she was her father’s favorite. She and Lazar were the quiet ones and while her father hated that in Lazar, he always loved it in her. She was his quiet sweet Dali; she never faced his anger. “Um, no. Is everything okay?” Obviously, it wasn’t but she went with it regardless.

Turning back to the bag he was fixing, her father replied in a cooler tone “Make a choice, Dali. I’m going to go kill Ivo and Lazar. Now whose side will you take? Your father or two traitors to the Kavinsky name?”

To her, a traitor to the name would be the one who started the family strife. That would be her father, the minute he had chícho killed. The father who now wanted to kill his son. Like Lani, she was bitter about Ilarion being killed. She was bitter about Rumen selling him out and bitter about Lazar and Raina leaving them.

But then Nayden and Ognyana left.

That was when she had come to the conclusion that maybe her father’s side was the wrong one. If Nayden – the one who idolized Ilarion and their father above anyone – decided that being with Ivo was better, then something was incredibly wrong with her father.

“Then I’ll be a third traitor to the name if that’s what trying to keep family together is,” Dali replied in a firm tone. If her siblings could make the right choice, then so could she.

Freezing in place, her father eventually turned very slowly towards her. “So I have another traitor? I raised and wasted my time and years on filth? Very well then, Magdalina. Very well.”

 

* * *

 

Lina jumped when there was a loud bang.

It sounded like a gunshot.

And that was not a good thing.

Rushing out of the kitchen, she ran to her father’s room, thinking someone had killed him. She halted to an abrupt stop when she nearly stepped on her sister’s body.

_Wait…what?_

Malina stared down at the body of her twin, a pool of blood underneath her head and a hole between her eyes. Slowly raising her head, she stared at the gun her father still had raised. “Tate…”

He blinked harshly at her, looking like a complete madman. “Are you a traitor like the rest of your siblings? It seems the only true child I had was Ilarion. The rest of you are satan in disguise.”

Her heart was about to leap through her throat from her panic. Traitor? What was he even talking about? Why in the world would he kill Dali? When she realized he was still waiting for an answer, Lina said carefully “I’m always with you, tatko. Always have been.”

His eyes narrowed as he thought over these words. They were blatant lies as her sister’s blood soaked into the floor and her socks but she wasn’t going to die today. She’d wait until he left and find what was left of her actual family.

She had no idea who this man was.

But he wasn’t her father.

The gun was lowered as he nodded. “You’re right, Lina. You have always been true. Ilarion would be incredibly proud of you.” She doubted that; she didn’t think even her eldest brother would agree with what had just happened. “There are some things I must attend to. I will see you later tonight; be packed and ready to leave then.”

Nodding hurriedly, Lina followed him out to the door, trying her best not to stare at her poor sister. “Be safe, tate.”

Kissing her softly on the forehead, he murmured “Thank you. You do the same. I will see you soon.”

Once she was sure he was gone and after waiting an extra ten minutes for good measure, Malina rushed to her room while stripping off her socks. She wanted to sit and sob for her sister but there was no time.

There was only one place where her father had to ‘attend to business.’

She had people to save.

  

 

The cabbie stopped her at the Hoboken terminal because she didn’t have an address. Hell, she didn’t even have someone she could call. She hadn’t noticed that she had forgotten her phone until she was half way here.

Such a stupid idiot.

What she did remember though, was that Ivo ran a casino. The name passed over her but maybe she could just ask around? “You know any good casinos here?” she asked her driver after paying him. “Something original, not like your normal chain place?”

“Couple places. Depends what kind of place you going for though, sweetheart. High class, something lower down…?”

Ivo was rich, wasn’t he? “High class. Way up there on the scale.”

The driver nodded. “There’s one that I hear is extremely fancy. Never been because I can’t afford anything of it; high stakes and all. Shame because I hear it’s amazing. But I do want to take my girlfriend to the restaurant one day. Try the Black Sea Rose, love.”

Lina was dying to punch this guy and his stupid pet names. And he had a girlfriend? Flirting jackass. “Okay, thank you so much.”

Walking across the street, she asked a couple different people for directions until she found someone who knew the place. The woman, it seemed, spent her day there every weekend with her husband and was more than happy to show someone ‘the light.’

Once she got to her destination, the woman had smiled and gave her a wish of fun. Lina smiled and acted like she wasn’t here to talk to mobsters.

“Whoa, whoa,” a bouncer stopped her at the door. “Can’t come in.”

Blinking at him in confusion and checking to make sure that, yes, the place was open, she asked “Why the hell not?”

The big guy and his stupid tight black shirt over those stupid muscles laughed and replied “Lady, you look like some bum off the street compared to who comes in here.”

Glancing down to her sweatshirt, jeans, and sneakers then peeking inside, Lina realized that she was way underdressed. “Okay, I totally get that but please, this is an emergency. I need to speak with Lord Kavinsky. Please, sir.”

Looking at her in a new light at the mention of Ivo, the bouncer thought a minute while rubbing his chin and finally said “Not everyone goes around throwing out that name. Barely anyone even knows who runs this place when they come to indulge.” Lina nodded in hope that her cousin’s name was her ticket in. “Tell you what. I’ll pass your name on. Someone clears it, you can come in.”

That was probably the best she’d get. “Okay, sure. Malina Kavinsky. I’m his cousin.”

“Damn,” the man whispered in surprise. “You show me I.D. with that last name and I’ll just let you in.”

“Great!” she exclaimed in relief as she yanked out her passport. No driver’s license in this country and hers wasn’t in the English alphabet, so she always carried her passport with her just in case. Flipping it open, she showed him her name and picture. “Good?”

Reading it carefully with scrunched brows, the man finally nodded to her delight. “Go all the way to the back and show those guards. They’ll take you where you need to go.”

God, she could kiss this man right now. “Thank you so much.”

Practically running towards the back while trying not to bump into people and ruin their pretty clothes, Malina kept her eyes open for the guards and finally found them by a pair of double doors. Rushing over to them, she said in quick Bulgarian “I need to speak with my Lord Kavinsky. Please hurry.”

She wondered if they were so good at showing no emotion and that was why they didn’t even have a flash of surprise at her request. They simply looked at her passport and once they were satisfied, opened the door for her and she rushed in. She let out a noise of surprise when an arm yanked her back when she reached the end of the hallway and found herself in the grasp of another guard. “I need to speak with Lord Kavinsky,” she said quickly

The guard stared at her, not an emotion on his face. She was about to repeat her request when a familiar voice hit her ears.

Very familiar.

Her head scanned her surroundings quickly and then she caught sight of her brother. She wanted to break down into tears at seeing his familiar form. “Lazar!”

Her brother’s head snapped to her direction when he heard her. He was walking with who she guessed to be Ivo – the bastard was even more handsome in person – and Malina swore the guy on crutches was hotstuff blonde. “Lina?”

  

* * *

 

She continued to fiddle with her hands in her nerves. The last time Ivo had seen this one, she had been maybe nine. She was scared, worried, and full of grief.

The only thing that caught his curiosity was why she was grieving. It couldn’t still be for Ilarion, could it?

Thinking she had stewed enough in the silence, Ivo finally said “Why are you sad?”

Blinking at him in surprise because she probably didn’t expect that to be his first question, Malina whispered “You have to hear the story from the beginning, not the climax.”

Lazar looked ready to strangle the story out of her but held his quiet while Yulian on the other hand said in annoyance “Then get on with it. We can’t sit here forever.”

Ivo hadn’t want the idiot to come today but he had insisted. Said he needed some fresh air. So the deal was he got to stay for an hour and then had to go home. No exceptions.

Sighing, she said quietly “I think tatko’s here in the city. He came home from the Italians really angry today and…” she bit her lip as tears welled in her eyes, turning to Lazar, “He shot Dali, Lazar. Killed her.”

Now that was something he hadn’t expected. Hadn’t even accounted for. Lazar’s eyes turned huge as it was something he couldn’t have ever imagined either. “What?”

Sobbing into her hands, she cried “I-I d-don’t even know why. I was in the kitchen and then there was a b-bang and then-” Falling into heavy cries, she didn’t finish her words.

“I’m sorry for both your losses,” Ivo murmured softly as Lazar held his sister close. Losing a sibling was the hardest thing in the world. He hadn’t given condolences for Ilarion though, because no idiot would ever do that. “But I need you to finish.”

Heaving and trying to calm down, she sniffled “He asked if I was going to be a traitor like everyone else and I lied and said no. He said he had ‘business’ that he needed to see to. My guess is it has to do with you guys. When he was gone, I came here.”

Leaning into his chair, Ivo thought about this carefully. Damyan was here meaning this was coming to a close. He was coming for them but where? He flicked a glance to Yulian to see if he had any thoughts but the man was also deep in his considerings.

“I don’t want any more family to die,” Malina continued. “After all this, I don’t care if tatko dies because we obviously mean nothing to him. He says you’re the crazy one with those voices or whatever in your head but it must be genetic because he’s gone insane. I don’t recognize that man anymore.”

Ivo froze, staring at Malina. “What did you just say?” The only people that he had ever told were his mother and eventually Yulian. Joseph had found out on his own and Ivo was convinced that Vesela and Raul also knew.

How the fuck did Damyan know?

“That you’re the crazy…one…” Malina trailed, probably realizing she shouldn’t have mentioned it. “Sorry…?”

“Not important now,” Yulian interrupted quickly, “We need to figure out where he’s going to hit-”

“You,” Ivo cut into the sentence, “Need to go home. You’re no use to me right now while hobbling like an old man.” Yulian looked furious but Ivo kept going. “Yulian, you can barely move as it is. Go home. If he really is here, I can’t be spending my time making sure you don’t end up worse than you already are. Go. Home.”

“I don’t need you to worry-”

Getting frustrated because his nerves were starting to buzz, Ivo said firmly “Yulian. Go. Home. I worry; it’s a natural part of being a fucking human being. Go home, help keep them safe. Having you here will only hinder things.” When Yulian was still looking like a stubborn jackass, Ivo added softly “Please. I’d really prefer that you weren’t dead.”

Huffing in annoyance, he finally muttered with crossed arms “Fine.”

“Thank you,” he breathed with relief. “I don’t know how much time we have so leave now and we’ll get started in figuring this shit out.”

Fingers crossed they’d figure it out in time.

  

* * *

 

He had to admit, he was impressed by Asen’s pitching skills.

They weren’t as good as his but definitely impressive.

After weeks of pestering, Asen had finally agreed to let him go into the backyard for some air. If Joseph had to be shoved into another house for another minute, he was going to die. Suffocate.

The not really fresh Jersey air wasn’t fantastic but hell, it was outside air.

“You ever play baseball, Asen?” Joseph asked as they practiced basic catching.

Throwing the ball, Asen replied “For fun. However, I’ve never been on a team like you.”

“You should come watch one of my games this coming season.” He technically had to make the team first, but Joseph trusted his skills now.

“I’d love to! I heard you’re an amazing pitcher. My eldest daughter likes sports, you should coach her in baseball.”

Snorting with a roll of his eyes, Joseph said “C’mon, Asen. I just showed you some of my best work and you’ve only ‘heard’? And I’d love to. I don’t know if I’m coach material but I’ll try.”

“Thank you.” With a laugh and catching the ball, the guard added “I heard you’re even better than the mini show you gave me.”

“There you go,” he nodded with his own laugh. Catching the ball, he quickly threw it back, sailing it passed the guard. “Ha! Got you.”

Shaking his head in humor, Asen snorted as he walked towards the fence they shared with the behind neighbor “Whatever. The point is catching, not making poor Asen walk to get the ball.”

“I mean you could run if you wanted,” Joseph joked as he waited. He stared hard at the fence when he thought he saw a hand grip the top of it. _Huh?_ He was about to say something when suddenly a person jumped over and rolled to his feet. He opened his mouth to call to Asen who had barely turned around when the man grabbed Joseph’s guard by the throat and started…

Stabbing.

Someone was stabbing Asen.

Repeatedly.

Joseph couldn’t bring himself to breath or even move from his terror. In what felt like less than a second, the man dropped a bleeding Asen to the floor and took his gun.

Pointing it at Joseph.

Memories flashed before his eyes of things he had thought he had finally buried. Anton’s disgusting laugh, the knife, the dark, the pain…

The sound of gunshots and bodies dropping.

Practically hyperventilating, Joseph knew subconsciously that he needed to scream or run or _just do something_ but his body wouldn’t cooperate.

He hadn’t had a panic attack in so long and now he was about to have one when Asen’s life depended on him.

“Hello,” the man whispered as he walked closer, ever so silently. Joseph barely even heard the word over the roaring of blood echoing in his ears.

Terrified wasn’t even close to what he could say he was feeling.

The man crouched down and pressed the muzzle of the gun to Joseph’s throat. “Cooperate, Joseph, and everything will be just fine. Don’t scream, don’t do anything stupid. The faster we go, the higher chance someone might be able to save your man there.”

“S-Save,” he whispered so soft. The words weren’t making sense in his mind. Everything was shutting down fast as his breathing was so shallow and his body shaking. He was nauseous and lightheaded and he was so horribly scared.

Petrified.

“That’s right,” the man nodded. “Save. Now come with me very quietly and no one else gets hurt.”

Tears welled in his eyes and his whole world was crashing down on him. He had no control over himself anymore; all he felt was the impending doom and the churning hurricane in his stomach.

And then he threw up.

All over the man.

The man looked horribly disgusted but said nothing. He simply pressed his hand on Joseph’s mouth to keep him from making more noise while hauling him up and over his shoulder. “I don’t have time for this, Joseph,” the man whispered as he literally threw Joseph back over the fence whence he came and jumped over after him. “We got places to be, things to do, dear child.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')  
> Стринка (strínka) – a father’s brother’s wife


	138. Chapter 137

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> Eid Mubarak guys! Hope you have a blessed one.
> 
> Hatty, your Snapshot is still happening, just late. Sorry :/ It's just I want it to fit in the timeline in a nice neat way so its got to wait a little.
> 
> You can tell this is wrapping up right? We've got I think three more chpts for the arc.
> 
> Enjoy some yelling Ivo and a little mouthy Joseph.
> 
> _“How much do you want to bet your father did this?”_

“Andrey, call Joseph and Asen to come have lunch.” They had decided that the backyard couldn’t hurt. Being cooped up was driving her baby insane so they had agreed to his pleadings.

Her nephew blinked up at her from his mac and cheese as he sat at the bar/counter. Shoving a bite in his mouth, he mumbled “I’m already eating.”

Rolling her eyes, she put the pan in the sink and said as she walked to the sliding door of the backyard “Okay, I see how it is.”

“Love you tétka!” Andrey called after her.

Shaking her head with a smile playing on her face, she stuck her head out and called “Guys, come…eat…” She blinked harder at the backyard, stepping out when she was convinced she was seeing things. Walking down the deck stairs and out onto the grass, Vesela slowly made her way to… _a body?_ Heart beating fast, she poked the body and then rolled-

“Asen,” she whispered in panic. Blood was everywhere, the man’s white button up a new color entirely, not to mention the grass. “Asen.” With a shaky hand, Vesela reached out to his neck, checking for a pulse. She found one but it was thready at best. _Thank you God._

Whipping her head around to take stock of the backyard, she realized someone was missing. Tears were streaming down her face as panic took over. This couldn’t be happening again; it just couldn’t.

She had no words to use but she sure as hell had noise.

Vesela screamed loud enough for the entire world to hear.

  

* * *

 

Lazar watched Ivo carefully as he slammed the car door shut and strode to the door of the home they had moved everyone to. He got out and rushed after him, Malina quickly following.

_“What are you doing right this second?” Yulian said over the phone on speaker._

_“Driving,” Ivo replied in confusion. “I’m thinking-”_

_“Pull over.”_

_His cousin’s face took on a look of puzzlement as he flashed a glance to the phone sitting in the cup holder. “What?”_

_“Ivo, pull the fuck over. I need to tell you something but I need you to pull over first.”_

_Maybe it was Yulian’s tone but the car filled with an air of worry, stemming from all of them. It didn’t show on Ivo’s face but Lazar could read it in the way he clutched the wheel, pulling over to the edge of the street. “Okay, pulled over. What the fuck is going on?”_

_Quiet came over the line before Yulian finally said “Joseph, Ivo. Someone took Joseph.”_

Storming into the house, Ivo looked ready to commit multiple homicides. Lazar took quick stock of who was sitting. He didn’t know where Vesela was but he could only imagine how much of a mess she must be. Andrey was peeking out from a hallway with his sister at his shoulder. What he wanted to do was tell them to go to a room or something because Lazar knew Ivo was going to blow. He knew his cousin as well as he knew himself. Personality didn’t change that much over time. Ivo’s temper was a nasty thing.

He didn’t want the kids to have to see it.

Yulian probably couldn’t see his kids from where he was sitting on one of the couches or else he would have sent them upstairs. Instead he was looking horribly angry at his crutches and how they made him practically worthless. There was a shade of worry covering his features as well.

About to tell Malina to drag the kids away, Lazar lost his chance when his cousin glanced at the guards standing in a mix of fear and worry and began to tear into them with his nasty condescending voice and words.

“I’m sorry,” Ivo hissed with his fists clenched tight, “I thought your jobs were as guards? Do any of you know what the definition of a guard is?” Silence fell; the guards were probably wondering if the question was rhetorical or not.

Or maybe they were just too afraid to speak.

Lazar didn’t blame them; he grew up with Ivo. He knew exactly how explosive his anger was. It was more under control than it used to be but Lazar didn’t think this was one of those times that his cousin would be able to control himself.

And he didn’t blame _him._

“Well? Do any of you FUCKING INEPT IDIOTS KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IT MEANS!” Ivo shouted, fury blazing in his eyes as he grabbed a beautiful glass vase off a side table and flung it at a wall by a guard’s ear. The vase exploded and the guard flinched while trying to cover his face from the flying glass. “OR DO I JUST HAVE A LOAD OF FUCKING BUMBLING INCOMPETENT FOOLS!”

A cup this time that someone had been drinking from and left sitting.

A different guard though and there was no wall behind him. The cup sailed over the man’s shoulder as he sidestepped quickly and hit the floor with an ear-splitting shatter.

“My lord,” one of them began quietly.

That was a very bad idea.

Because now Ivo had a focus for his rage.

Turning to the one who spoke, Ivo stepped over to the man, the clipping of his shoes on the tile the only noise heard in the dead quiet of the home. The guard was shorter by a few inches and, remarkably, refrained from flinching back when they were practically nose to nose. “Did you have anything to say, Ivaylo?”

The fact that Ivo knew the name of practically everyone amazed him. He knew for a fact that his father didn’t know the names of half the people employed under him.

For the simple reason of him believing that they were too low down to be acknowledged.

Changing his mind which was probably the smart move, Ivaylo shook his head and replied softly “No, my lord.”

“Do you even understand what is going to be done to my child? Do you get that my child – my son – is going to be tortured to death? Do you fucking understand that? I fed that filth’s son to dogs, can you imagine what he’s going to do to mine?”

His stomach churned with the memory and the thought that Joseph might face the same sort of fate. Lazar liked the kid a lot and the fact that he might be dead by the end of the day by pure torture made him horribly nauseas.

And by the look on Ivaylo’s face, it made him just as sick. “My-” He broke off into a choking noise when Ivo wrapped his hand around the man’s throat, slamming him up against a wall. Lazar didn’t know if he was supposed to intervene or not and it didn’t seem like the other men knew this either.

He couldn’t see Ivo’s face but he could see the amount of exertion he was putting on the man’s neck. Ivaylo was scrabbling at his lord’s hand, trying to grasp some air for his deprived lungs. If someone didn’t do something, Ivaylo’s windpipe would be collapsed soon from all the pressure.

Flicking a glance to Yulian, Lazar was hoping for some direction on what to do. The blonde was staring at Ivo, the confliction apparent in his eyes. Finally, he looked to Lazar and gave a slight nod in Ivo’s direction.

When they were younger and Ivo would blow, Lazar would either hit or constrain him if he couldn’t find strínka Emiliya. She was the only one who ever seemed to get through to him by using just words. Obviously, the woman was dead so Lazar only had one option.

It was going to end up hurting.

“Ivo,” Lazar said firmly as he strode over to him and grasped his cousin’s arms which were extremely tense under his touch. “Ivo, let him go. You need to calm-”

Ivo turned from Ivaylo to Lazar in seconds, quite literally upper cutting him with an incredibly painful fist. Clutching his stomach and heaving, Lazar barely had time to straighten up before Ivo flipped him onto the dining table, flicking out a knife against his neck.

The hand was shaking and Lazar knew it was because Ivo was restraining himself from slicing his neck open. Very slowly, Lazar softly grasped his cousin’s wrist. Breathing shakily from the trauma his poor lungs had suffered, he whispered “Ivo, I’m trying to help you.”

“Your father is going to murder my son,” Ivo replied in a voice so soft, even Lazar almost missed what was said despite their proximity. Biting his lip and with small tears beginning to form in the corners of his eyes, Ivo whispered “My baby. Do you get it?”

“I get it; I really really do. But this doesn’t help. We’re wasting precious time, Ivo. We need every minute we can get and this is wasting those precious minutes.” Grasping a little tighter on the hand, Lazar very carefully pushed it away and Ivo let him. “I’m here to help you all the way. Just like old times.”

He blinked at him for a few more seconds before taking in a deep shaking breath and putting the knife away. Fists clenched by his sides, Ivo stared at the floor while trying to calm himself. Finally, he said in a tone that sounded much more like controlled him “How’s Asen?”

Getting to his feet with a grimace and his crutches, Yulian hopped his way over to stand beside Ivo. “Critical. He took at least twelve stabs to his abdomen; lots of surgery work to do. Whether he makes it or not isn’t known for certain yet. Lubomir is there with him.”

Nodding, his cousin took a deep breath before looking around the house. “I need to see Vesela.”

 

* * *

 

The blindfold was removed from his eyes and Joseph blinked at the sudden brightness he was revealed to. Blinking a little harder as he glanced around some room, Joseph thanked God that at least the lights were on.

He was tied to a chair – arms behind the back and legs strapped to the chair’s. Panic and fear were his central emotions right now as he watched who he guessed was Damyan drag over a chair and then sit in front of Joseph. When the man had changed from his vomit covered clothes, Joseph’s guess would be while he was trapped in a trunk of a car.

Besides for watching poor Asen getting stabbed, that was the worst part so far. Being trapped while his hands were tied behind his back and a blindfold on his eyes.

Nothing but him and the small confined place. Some nasty smell too.

“Hello, Joseph,” Damyan smiled while crossing his arms and getting comfortable in a chair Joseph didn’t even think a person could get comfortable in. “How is my grandchild?”

Despite how terrified he was, despite how ready he was to fall into another attack, he didn’t want to show it. Joseph wanted to be something similar to what he imagined his father or any of the strong men he knew would do.

_“I totally spit on him.”_

Emilio and him had spitting contests _all the time._

Joseph knew how to spit like a champ.

So that’s exactly what he did. It probably wasn’t as big as tetíncho Yulian’s ‘big ass loogie’ but it was still awesome.

Wiping off his face in revulsion, Damyan said in a tone that was so control that Joseph knew the man was trying to keep his temper “When Yulian did that, I punched him. What should I do to a disrespectful child do you think?”

“I hadn’t realized you deserve any respect,” he snorted while wondering where in the hell he was getting his courage from. He was scared out of his mind, on the verge of tears and throwing up, and yet here he was mouthing off like an idiot.

“The little boy has balls, does he?” Damyan mused in a sort of interest. “You sound a lot like your father in your speech.”

“Fantastic role model, that man.”

Shaking his head, the older man replied “I’m going to have to disagree. Tell me, Yosef-”

“Joseph,” he corrected, “Not Yosef.”

“Don’t be foolish even if your parents are. You were named after my brother. His name is Yosef not Joseph and that is how I’ve decided to address you. We are not American people, we will not be like them.” Damyan was quiet a minute before adding “In fact, let us not tarnish our heritage by speaking this hideous language.”

That was fine although Joseph didn’t really think that English was hideous. And there was nothing wrong with him being Bulgarian American and there sure as hell was nothing wrong with his name. He liked it just the way it was.

But it definitely wasn’t worth arguing about.

“Fine,” he shrugged, switching to Bulgarian. “No problem.”

Damyan nodded with a fake smile on his ugly face. The man actually wasn’t bad looking for someone who Joseph thought was at least mid-sixties but the mix of the man’s brain and his disgusting emotions was enough to make the man hideous.

It was like Lord of the Rings. When you became evil, your appearance got twisted into nastiness. Gollum became all gnarled and ugly, orcs were plain hideous, and what about Sauron? After so much lies and deception and misdeeds for ‘the benefit of the world,’ the maia couldn’t take a nice form anymore.

So that was Damyan now.

Just plain ugly.

“Very good, Yosef. Now, what I was going to say before you interrupted, was a question. Do you know that your father is a lunatic? A crazy man who hears people talking in his head?”

What Damyan’s angle was with this line of questioning, Joseph didn’t know but he didn’t appreciate him insulting his father. Like tetíncho Yulian had said years ago, mentally ill people weren’t crazy. Just because his father was mentally ill didn’t mean that he was a lunatic. But if Damyan wanted to play like that, Joseph felt like he might be able to.

“Must be genetic then, huh?” Joseph asked, making sure his face was as blank as he could make it. “Cuz, you know, you be totally coo coo, Damyan.”

It turns out that the man had a limit for disrespect as he slapped Joseph one, flat palmed against his cheek. Now his face was a mix of stinging and throbbing and he was almost sure that he’d have a hand-shaped bruise. “I am at the status of your grandfather!” Damyan roared in anger, “Mind that mouth!”

Pricks of tears were in his eyes from the continued throb of his cheek but regardless, Joseph replied in a shaky voice “My grandfather, Timotei Dobrev, was the best man to ever live. He has a higher status than anyone in the world in my eyes. You and your stupid brother – my other grandfather – are a load of garbage. I know that Yosef was a horrible father and after all your kids left you, I bet you’re just as terrible. That means the pair of you suck as granddads.”

His words earned him blazing eyes and another slap to the face. The tears ran down his face while he stared at his lap despite how much he didn’t want to show how scared he was. Biting his lip to stop any noise from escaping him, Joseph took in a deep shaky breath. No matter how much he gored into his lip, it did nothing to stop the escape of a cry when Damyan yanked him by his hair to face him.

An extremely satisfied smirk took shape on the man’s lips when he saw Joseph’s tears. “No big words now, little boy? No harsh words? Go ahead.” Joseph held the disgusting man’s gaze but said nothing. “No, I didn’t think so. Do you know that your father fed my son to dogs?”

Knowing the finer details of what his father did to people was something Joseph liked to ignore. It was much better that way. “Ilarion,” he whispered to be sure. No one else was dead that he knew of anyways.

“Ilarion,” Damyan nodded, “The only child of mine who was ever worth while was taken away from me. Cut up and fed to dogs. Now I’m going to make sure Ivo Kavinsky feels that pain by losing his _only child. His son._ Then I’m going to kill him. How’s that sound, Yosef?”

Joseph thought it sounded absolutely horrible. He loved dogs, not to have to die by them. _Get eaten_. He was definitely sick now.

So he threw up on Damyan again. At least watching the disgust on the man’s face was satisfying before his hair was yanked a thousand times harder. _Bald patch here I come._

“You disgusting little filth,” Damyan snarled, “I’m going to so enjoy listening to you scream as the dogs tear you apart. Ivo cut up Ilarion first but I’m just going to let the dogs do all the hard work.” Pulling a switchblade from his pocket, the horrible man flicked it open and held it to Joseph’s neck, pressing ever so softly. “I have to go set some things up first so I want you to be good and wait for me. Don’t move an inch until I come back.”

He was actually going to nod for the man but the bite of metal against his neck was too scary for him to move against. “’Kay,” Joseph whispered with his tears streaming down his burning hot cheeks. “No moving.”

“Good,” Damyan smiled. “But let me just prove a point, okay? Now if you move, we might cut something important. So?”

“Don’t move,” Joseph whispered through his shaky breaths as the knife pressed a thousand times harder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')  
> Стринка (strínka) – a father’s brother’s wife


	139. Chapter 138

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> First off, HAPPY ANNIVERSARY! To us, to this story. It's our one year anniversary! Can you believe it? Whether you've been with me from the beginning or merely joined yesterday, thank you so much for being with me. I really hope you all have been enjoying this journey with me! Can you believe it's almost over?
> 
> Anyone guess that this would happen? If you say yes, I don't believe you.  
> Also...it was really that easy. Why do ppl make things complicated? Anticlimactic I know. Bet none of y'all saw this death happening this way. I actually didn't either but then I'm like 'eh let's try it' as I was typing.
> 
> Enjoy ;)
> 
> _“Can’t say I’ve ever wanted to see your dick.”_

Sitting in a café a block away, Damyan waited.

He wanted to see the damage first hand.

Then he’d get back to sicing a couple of dogs on his very honorable guest. He wasn’t rushing that one; he had stowed Joseph away in an old shipyard warehouse. The place was somewhere Damyan had scoped out when he first got here in case he needed a safe house.

No one ever went in. People rarely even walked that street.

But just in case somehow Joseph had an explosive scream that people could hear should the boy call for help, Damyan had used the blindfold as a gag.

Taking a sip of his coffee, he glanced to his watch and counted down the last minute with it. He was smiling in glee by the time it was five seconds. _Four, three, two, aannddd one-_

Cue explosion.

What Cesare had gotten so ridiculously pissy about was that Damyan had wanted to set up explosives in the parking garage right under Ivo’s prized business.

The Black Sea Rose.

Currently, the place was open for business at these hours, having at least a hundred people within, not even counting staff or the mobsters who operated through it.

Hundreds of innocents.

Good riddance.

Damyan wasn’t exactly an explosives expert but he was better than decent. And really that was all he needed.

Screams echoed through the streets. Such beautiful satisfying screams.

Now that chaos had officially fallen, Damyan stood and walked out of the café, making his way to see how much havoc he had wreaked. When he reached the casino, only one thought entered his mind as he smiled.

Beautiful.

Flames licked the clouds above them and smoke billowed high into the atmosphere. Half the building had caught in the flames but Damyan had no doubt that the rest would follow soon. The roof was in the process of sinking lower and lower, with the building itself on shaky ground because of the explosion stemming from the garage below.

Stunning.

There were people running, some away and some towards. The ones who ran towards were probably foolish enough to think there was anyone to save. _Idiots._

Damyan was suddenly jostled as a man bumped into him, shoving him into another. “Watch yourselves,” he hissed in annoyance, turning to glare at each man in turn. One of them shrugged as he walked off while the other rested his hand on Damyan’s neck and whispered “My apologies, my lord.”

It was only then that he registered the prick.

  

* * *

 

He wasn’t exactly sure how he was feeling right now. Part of him wanted to yell and scream and break shit. The other part of him wanted to just sit on the street and cry as he watched Timotei’s entire legacy burn to the ground.

All because of him.

“Jesus,” Lazar whispered beside him in all the shock Ivo was feeling. They had been coming to look over the rest of the files that Lazar had taken from Damyan. It was the half they hadn’t touched yet because the amount of paperwork was insane. Not that they had finished the others but they wanted to grab them all. Their hope was placed in that there was some kind of address here in Hoboken that might be where Joseph was.

Looked like they were never going to touch them. Ivo prayed that whatever break they may have in finding Joseph didn’t just burn in the ruins of his livelihood.

Two firetrucks were already here with the sound of a third on its way. Ambulances were also here, some leaving with critically wounded people and others trying to patch up whoever they could. Bodies were lined up on the asphalt of those who didn’t quite make it. The body count would only grow once the flames were put out and the firefighters could actually easily go into the building.

Ivo’s entire body filled with guilt. Probably at least close to a hundred people would have died; hopefully it’d stop at that. Innocent people who came to enjoy their day not get caught between something bigger than themselves. And what about the people he employed? Not even his mobsters but the other people? He was relieved that Tanner’s father didn’t work until the night; that was one less person to worry about at least.

There was also the relief in knowing that Asen’s father was with him in the hospital, that Yulian was home, and that three of his advisors had family time today.

But he knew nothing on the whereabouts of anyone else besides for the guards at home.

Not that they did any good. Some guards they were.

Taking a deep breath because letting his anger flare up proved to be not worth the effort and a complete waste of time, Ivo said “How much do you want to bet your father did this?”

Lazar let out a snort. “Nothing. I don’t want to lose my money, thank you.”

It was going to take months if not at least an entire year to get this place back up on its feet. Then there was getting people back; stigma gets attached to a place when people start dying.

“Jesus fuck,” he whispered with a shake of his head. With a heavy sigh, he looked around and nodded in thought. “I’ll deal with this later. We’ve got something more important to take care of right now.”

“Sounds good,” his cousin agreed with a nod, still staring at the inferno. They could feel the heat of the flames from where they stood and Ivo could only imagine what it felt like to be trapped in there.

God help all those people.

  

* * *

 

When they reached the scene of the fire, Raul couldn’t believe his eyes. Not long ago he had been inside the beautiful building.

Now it was a complete wreck as the firefighters tried to put out the sky-licking flames.

Eyes catching on the row of bodies lining up on the street, his heart ached for all those people and their families. He wondered if he knew anyone. Or at least recognized a face of one of Ivo’s men.

Jesus Christ.

The scene was more controlled than what he imagined it was like when the blast first happened. Other cops had secured the area well enough although there were still a few stragglers here and there. Not to mention news organizations dying for their big story.

“Vidal,” Savelio said with a nod in the direction of some woman leaning over the prone form of a man. “Check that?”

“Yeah, we should,” he replied as they walked over. Smoke inhalation maybe?

The woman looked up at them when they got closer as she rolled the man over. “I think he’s dead.”

 _What’s one more…_ “Let’s have a look,” he murmured as he crouched down beside her, ready to check for a pulse. His hand was more than halfway there but he froze when he looked harder at the face. “Savelio.”

Crouching down, his partner was silent as she looked at the face before whispering in shock “It’s Damyan.”

“Do you know him, officers?” the woman asked with scrunched brows.

Nodding slowly as he looked at the corpse of the man who had caused hell for the past month, Raul answered “We know him. We’ll take care of everything. Thank you for finding him.”

Once the woman was escorted away by a uniformed cop, Raul slipped on a pair of gloves and tried his best to examine what he could, looking for what killed the bastard. What was he even doing here?

Why was he dead? Did Ivo even know?

“Should I call or you?” Savelio asked, still crouched down beside him. “I think this is something he really really needs to know. Like immediately.”

“Definitely,” he murmured while still trying to find some sort of wound. Just _something._

But there was nothing he could see.

 _What killed you, piece of shit?_ “But I think we need to tell him in person. Not something to be said over the phone.”

“Okay but where do we find him? I don’t think he’s here and I can’t believe I’m saying this but I really hope he wasn’t in the blast.”

Somehow, Raul didn’t think he was. He didn’t know why but it was a gut feeling. “We’ll try home first and go from there.”

  

 

“Somethings up,” Savelio whispered as they got out of the car from where they parked across the street from Timotei’s house – Raul missed the wonderful old man. Hopefully the people’s house they parked in front of wouldn’t have an issue by them taking a parking space. It’d be hilariously in a weird not-funny way if they got towed or a ticket.

“I can see that,” Raul murmured in reply as they walked to the door. A guard was incredibly tense and looked…

Guilty. _But why guilty?_

“Deyan,” Raul smiled, “Ivo’s here? Bit of an emergency.”

“Everything’s an emergency today,” the young man said in defeat with a shake of his head. “This day is just a load of complete shit.”

 _Okay then…_ “So…”

“Come in,” Deyan whispered while reaching for the door. Before he opened though, he added “Tread carefully with him, detectives.”

Savelio looked in confusion at Deyan then turned her look to Raul. He was feeling the same but there was no time to think about it. “Okay,” he nodded before they walked in. “Thank you.”

Something was definitely up; that much was evident by the weight resting in the house. He didn’t know how to describe it but something was very wrong. The air was incredibly heavy and there was an odd stillness in it. A couple guards were stationed in their usual spots with Yulian, Lazar, his siblings, and wife seated in the living room, shuffling through a huge pile of papers. There was no sign of Ivo though.

Yulian flicked a quick glance to them before turning back to the papers. “Be quick and this better be worth our time.”

Raul blinked in surprise at the curt way Yulian spoke. He was used to that sometimes from Ivo but not Yulian. Coming to a stop by the couch on which Lazar sat, he said “It’s worth it. I can guarantee that. If I may-”

“You may not,” Yulian interrupted, “Make it quick, Raul, we don’t have time for the usual back and forth.”

 _Something’s really not right._ “Ivo needs to hear this.”

“If it’s about the explosion, we already know and have nothing to say. That’s the least of our priorities right now.”

His partner was as confused as he was, “The least? The fact that your guys’ entire business front just went up in flames sounds like a huge priority to me.”

Starting to look annoyed for whatever reason, Yulian replied while tossing the paper that Raul guessed was useless onto the table “Good thing it’s not about you then.”

They were wasting time and getting nowhere. “Look, it’s not about the explosion. We have news that Ivo needs to hear firsthand or else I would have just called.”

“Then let’s hear it,” came Ivo’s deep voice from behind him, coming down the winding stairs and walking towards them. “Make it fast, detective, I don’t have the time.”

“Damyan,” he started, not wasting anymore time because, apparently, there was none of it. “We found him dead, lying on the street in front of the casino. No wounds, no sign of trauma. I asked for a rush on his autopsy but with all the dead today, who knows how fast that order will get in.”

All the occupants of the room stared at him like he was insane, all eyes having gone wide. He knew the news would be shocking but this reaction seemed…odd.

“He’s dead?” Ivo whispered as he stood by the couch where Yulian sat, across from Raul. His expression was completely stunned.

And panicked.

Nodding, Savelio replied “I don’t think it was anything to do with the blast. Maybe a heart attack, who knows. I know you wanted to do it yourself but at least he’s dead, right?”

The panic was eclipsing any other emotion that Ivo wore and he started to pace while shaking his head, hands running nervously through his hair. “No, no, no, no. This is bad, bad, bad. He can’t-” Cutting himself off, he paced some more, fists clenched by his sides. Raul had seen this before; it was a way of restraining himself from lashing out. Words were being whispered under his breath and Raul would bet that they were ‘calm yourself.’ The phrase meant something to Ivo and seemed to have some relaxing qualities.

“You’re sure?” Lazar asked in worry. Thing was, Raul was sure that it had anything to do with the fact that his father was dead.

“Positive,” Savelio nodded. “Now what the hell is the problem? Isn’t this supposed to be a good thing?”

Ivo sat down beside Yulian, his head in his hands. “This is bad,” came his muffled voice. “Very bad.”

“Okay, explain.”

The Bulgarian head kept his silence but eventually Yulian let out an unsettled sigh. “Damyan hit the house this morning.”

_“This day is just a load of complete shit.”_

“Anyone hurt?” Raul asked, although he knew someone had to be. The guilt on the guards’ faces, everyone’s curt tones…

“He took Joseph, Raul.”

Now it was his turn to have the eyes the size of the moon. Bubbling worry began to emerge inside him and now he understood why everyone was on their last nerves. “How?”

“They had decided that letting Joseph play in the backyard would be okay, so he and Asen were playing catch. We don’t know exactly how it went down but it ended with Vesela going to call them for lunch and finding Asen bleeding out into the grass and Joseph gone.”

“Fuck,” he muttered under his breath, his brain trying to break down the possibilities of the situation as fast as possible. “There were no noises? No one heard anything?”

A guard – Ivalyo? – spoke up although he looked terrified to be doing so. Raul’s guess was that it had something to do with the ugly finger shaped bruises on his neck. “There were no noises, detective. Not until Lady Vesela went out and screamed.”

Looking somewhat confused, Savelio said “If Joseph saw Asen getting stabbed, saw a stranger when he knows the current situation, why didn’t he run or scream or something? That doesn’t make any sense. He isn’t stupid.”

_Because he’s been kidnapped before and he was probably having flashbacks of some sort._

Joining the conversation but keeping his head in his hands, Ivo replied “He threw up.”

“Meaning…”

Lifting his head up to stare at her and looking horribly defeated, he answered “He was having a panic attack. Joseph has chronic panic attacks, detective; he wouldn’t have been able to function properly. Probably was barely even able to remember how to breathe.”

That wasn’t something he had known about Joseph and he’d known him for what would be six years in a few months. He had suspected that he had some type of issue from the way he acted in the beginning but he never imagined an anxiety disorder.

“If tatko is dead, we have a huge problem,” Lazar murmured. “Really huge.”

Rumen looked like he was thinking really hard, trying to find the answer. When he couldn’t, he asked “What is it?”

“Finding Joseph. With tatko dead, we don’t have any sort of connection to finding out where he is. Because the only one who knew took that knowledge to the grave.”

  

* * *

 

He was tired, felt like there was a huge fog over his head, and ached.

And he was so thirsty.

The cloth shoved in his mouth had taken whatever moisture he had had in his mouth and made sure that breathing was the hardest thing in the world. Joseph knew if he started to panic or cry, breathing would get even harder so he made sure to focus all his efforts on staying calm and breathing through his nose.

And not throwing up. Then he’d just end up dying on his own vomit and that was just a sad way to go.

He liked to think he was tougher than that.

The amount of time that had passed since he had been taken was a mystery to him. How long it’d been since Damyan left him was also a conundrum. Joseph was sure that it was still the same day but other than that, he had no sense of time.

Which really sucked big time.

Breathing in heavily, Joseph didn’t know what he wanted more – Damyan’s continued disappearance or his return. On one hand, at least the gag would be taken out. But on the other, it meant him being dinner for some dogs would be imminent.

Dying wasn’t something he wanted.

Hopefully, someone would find him soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')  
> Стринка (strínka) – a father’s brother’s wife


	140. Chapter 139

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> So even though the gang war ends tmrw, we'll keep the five post schedule until Sunday and then on Sunday, I'll let you guys know if we're changing the schedule or not. I thought the whole thing came out nice but idk about the rest of y'all. I was told it was boring but I mean, I put tortured ppl, mutilated ppl, kidnappings and explosions. And Asen getting all stabbed up. *shrug* idk where else I could have gone with this.
> 
> Enjoy ^.^
> 
> _“Can we get some scones and cannoli? Those are his favorites.”_

Consciousness wasn’t something he felt like bothering with anymore. It was just too much work. He was exhausted, dizzy, and barely even remembering to keep breathing through his nose.

Maybe sleep would just be the better option.

Because obviously, he had been forgotten about.

  

* * *

 

Come nightfall and everyone was on the very end of their very last nerves.

It was past midnight and the temperature had dropped to match the lack of sun. Typically not a problem being that they were in a heated house but everyone’s mind had turned to whether or not Joseph had been wearing more than the thin long sleeve he usually did in the house.

They had all crossed their fingers in the hope that he was at least warm wherever he was.

“A full autopsy hasn’t been conducted yet but the M.E. did a quick look over Damyan and found something interesting,” Raul said as he walked into the house. Ivo wondered if Emilio knew his best friend was missing.

“What do you have,” he mumbled in defeat. They still had another pile of papers to go through but it was such a small pile and Ivo was losing what little hope he had. Damyan had no contacts here in Hoboken so there was no one he could even threaten to give him information.

He already had all the kids here. Well, whoever was still alive.

Not that they were doing him any good.

Going out and searching random locations had occurred to him a lot but everyone kept telling him it would be a fruitless endeavor. Where would he look exactly? Wouldn’t it be better if he were here helping go through everything?

Yeah but it was getting him nowhere. Even with his now police investigation, Raul and Savelio couldn’t scrounge up anything. There was nothing to trace.

What he was dying to do was hold Vesela until her tears would stop but every time he went up, she’d throw him out. He was supposed to be looking for her baby, not wasting his time with her.

_He took a few more deep breaths to make sure he was relaxed enough to talk to Vesela before he knocked and went into the room. Luckily, he hadn’t killed anyone but he knew Ivalyo was going to end up with nasty bruises on his neck and maybe even Lazar where he had been punched and hit the table._

_Vesela was sitting on the edge of the bed, feet held up by the edge of the bed frame, elbows resting on her knees as she cried into her hands. Nikol sat beside her, hugging her sister tight, and soothing her with her quiet steady presence. The kids – besides Timotei – stared at him in a weird way. He felt like he was seeing a touch of fear in Andrey’s eyes and Ivo didn’t want to think that maybe his nephew had been eavesdropping at a very bad time._

_Walking silently over to the love of his life, Ivo crouched down in front of her and slowly removed her hands from her face. He didn’t like seeing the tears flowing down her beautiful face as pulled it to his and kissed her slowly and softly. Leaving their foreheads touching, he whispered “I promise on everything, Vesela, I’m going to get him back. I swear to fucking God.”_

_She looked…angry. At him? “Ivo,” she said firmly despite her pain, “I swear to God, on my father, on everything, that if you do not bring back my baby, I’m done with you. I don’t want you anymore. I’m not going to put up with all this shit.”_

_Ivo could literally feel his eyes go wide as he recoiled away from her in his shock. Just from her words his heart ached beyond any sort of comprehension. “What?”_

_Removing his hands from her face, she said while tightly grasping them “If something happens to my beautiful little boy, I’m finished. Because then it’d be all your fault.”_

It was his fault. He already knew that since this whole shit show started.

And if something happened to Joseph? It wasn’t just Vesela who’d never forgive him.

He’d never forgive himself.

“Small insertion in the back of his neck-”

Yulian was shaking his head in disbelief as he finished “Poisoned.”

“I obviously have no toxicology reports yet,” Raul replied, “But I’d imagine that that’s it.”

Sighing as he slid down from the couch to the floor, Ivo muttered “He should have suffered. Probably just felt like a heart attack.”

“Probably,” his friend sighed as he sat down on the floor beside him. “My theory? I think-”

“Italians,” Yulian snorted. Sometimes it was annoying how often the man finished people’s thoughts.

Raul nodded. “Maybe, yeah. But why?”

Her eyebrows stooped low as Malina murmured “He was mad after meeting with them. That’s when all the packing and stuff came. He told me we were supposed to leave tonight.”

“Got in a fight then?” Ivo thought out loud. “So, Italians cut their losses. That could be it.” A thought suddenly occurred to him. Looking to Lazar, he asked “What are the chances the Italians know any sort of safe house he might have?”

What little hope he had just been feeling, disappeared in seconds when his cousin shook his head. “He wouldn’t have. He would’ve thought of the safe house as somewhere to go if things with the Italians didn’t work.”

Dropping his head onto the cushion of the couch behind him, Ivo was literally ready to break. Not snap, but break. He wanted to just…he didn’t know what but this day – technically yesterday now – had ruined all his emotions. He wanted to say that he was just done with all this shit. Over it.

But he couldn’t.

Because he had his child to save.

_Where are you, brat?_

  

* * *

 

Ever since Ivo had dropped the ‘safe house,’ Rumen’s mind had ticked on something. The problem was that he couldn’t determine why his mind was ticking. Why was the word important in his head?

The logical thing he had come to was that it meant something. He had some sort of information in his brain that could possibly be useful.

He just wished he knew what it was. Or at least how to get to it.

Being a hero would be cool; that was something Rumen had never even been close to. All he ever was was that fucking idiot.

He wanted to earn people’s respect and appreciation. He wanted to know how wonderful it felt to save someone.

All Rumen had to do was think. And, dammit, was that something he sucked at. _Think, Rumen. Figure it out. A little boy depends on you._

Everyone stared at him when he suddenly stood. “I have to see to something,” he said quickly in response to the questions in their eyes. “I’ll be back soon.”

Lazar looked confused but he nodded. “Okay. Be safe. Take your phone.”

Nodding quickly as he almost ran to the door, Rumen knew what types of thoughts were going through the heads of the people he left in his wake. _Rumen? Seeing to something? What could he possibly need to ‘see to’?_

Not exactly sure himself, Rumen got into the car Lazar was borrowing from Ivo and decided the best place to start was ‘home’ back in Elizabeth. He hadn’t been there since Ivo had taken him but for some reason, Rumen felt like his answer was there.

With Ilarion.

If there was one person in the world who was allowed to know about secret places in Hoboken, it’d have been his older brother. When Lazar had stolen the files, he had taken only what was in the office. Maybe Ilarion had stuff in his room?

It was worth a try.

Rumen would be a hero today.

He’d be more than just an idiot.

  

* * *

 

Yulian felt like he’d be completely blind if he had to look at another stupid paper. No one wanted to admit that they had nothing and no one wanted to give up. But really?

They all knew there was nothing in these papers. Nothing of use for their current situation, at least. There was interesting stuff just not what they needed right now.

Flicking a quick glance to Ivo sitting on the floor beside him, Yulian knew his brother-in-law was ready to give in to his despair. With the continued ‘nothings,’ Ivo’s hopes were crashing faster and faster. Nudging him, Yulian murmured “Help me to the bathroom.”

Ivo cocked a brow at him because he knew Yulian didn’t need help with his crutches but he gave in nonetheless. Standing and then helping Yulian to his feet, they trudged along to the restroom. Once they reached it, Yulian dragged Ivo in behind him and shut the door.

“Can’t say I’ve ever wanted to see your dick,” Ivo muttered as leaned on the door with his arms crossed.

Shutting the toilet lid and sitting down on it, he replied “Worried it’s bigger than yours? I already know it is without doing a comparison. Now go cry in a corner.”

That earned him a small smile as Ivo said “Mine is superior than yours in every single way; don’t get ahead of yourself now.”

Smiling himself now, Yulian changed the subject to what he actual had wanted to say. “Ivo, we’re going to find him.”

The smile slid off his face as he sighed and slid down to the floor. “I’m running out of hope on that.”

“Don’t. We’re going to find him.”

“We don’t even know if he’s alive,” Ivo whispered while staring at his hands sitting in his lap.

Something he had also worried about but he’d never say it. “He’s alive. Maybe a little hurt, maybe even tied up, but, Ivo, he’s alive and we’re going to find him. Today. I promise.”

“You know better than to make promises you can’t keep.”

“I’m keeping this one,” Yulian replied as he stood and flipped the lid open. Turned out he actually did need to take a piss. “Now either look somewhere else or leave. I don’t want you staring at me like some weird pervert.”

  

* * *

 

Leaning on the wall outside the bathroom as he waited for Yulian to finish so he could help him back, Ivo repeated in a whisper “I’m keeping this one.” He was going to hold to those words and put all his hope and trust into them.

They’d find him.

Today.

All they needed to do was focus and look a little harder.

They could do this.

After the flush and the sink running, Yulian fumbled the door open and hobbled out. “Ew, pervert, you were listening to me pee?”

A laugh actually escaped his aching heart as he shook his head and bounced off the wall. “Did you not piss at all today? Jesus, sounded like fucking river.”

Shaking his head as he laughed and hopped away, Yulian replied “Per-vert.” He nodded at Raul as they made it back to the couches. “Arrest him, he’s a pervert.”

Eyes glowing with laughter as he shook his head at them, he snorted “You pressing charges? Because if you are, then I’m totally ready.”

“Asshole,” Ivo muttered as he sat back down on the floor. He could have sat on the seat Rumen had vacated but the floor seemed comfortable right about now.

His thoughts flew to his younger cousin. _See to something?_ They had all acted like it wasn’t weird when he left an hour ago, but it was definitely fucking weird.

What was weirder was that now he was calling him.

Opening the phone and putting on speaker so everyone could hear, Ivo placed it on the table and said “Shoot, Rumen.”

The man on the other end was Rumen but then it wasn’t. This man was confident sounding.

And incredibly excited.

“I did it, Ivo! I did it!”

If it wasn’t such a depressing day – days – Ivo would let himself get caught up in Rumen’s happiness just to make the guy feel a little better about himself. “Did what?”

“I found the papers! The addresses! I found them! I did something!”

Everyone came to a standstill as they stared at the phone. “You found what?” Ivo asked in surprise. Did he hear what he thought he did?

“The addresses, Ivo. When you said safe house, something clicked in my head but I couldn’t remember it. I didn’t want to say anything in case it was nothing. But I remember now! I found the addresses for the three places that tatko scoped out as safe houses!”

It was too soon to give in to happiness and excitement but Ivo was down with giving in to hope. “Safe houses? Here in Hoboken?”

“Yes! The addresses were in Ilarion’s room! He always had this thing where he’d hide money by cutting a slit in his mattress! I found the paper there! It’s just a small scrap but it has three addresses on it! I did it!”

“You fucking did it,” Ivo couldn’t help but smile and laugh at the same time. Rumen, of all people, found them the best lead. Their _only lead_. Grabbing a paper and pen, he said “Tell me what you got.”

 

 

Getting out of his car, Ivo was pure nerves. The three addresses were all relatively close to each other which made sense because this street was filled with empty buildings. It wasn’t the best neighborhood in the world but that was what made it a great place to hide.

Or hide someone.

Raul had told him they should split up, people checking each location at one time. Ivo had told him to go fuck himself if he thought that he wasn’t going to at least be in the building should they find Joseph. Sure, his kid would love to see a friendly face but he’d definitely prefer to have his father around above anyone else.

Except maybe Vesela.

He tried not to be jealous about that.

By having to go to all the places himself, it meant finding Joseph might take a little longer but Ivo figured it should be alright. He hadn’t told Vesela that he might be onto something before they left and he made Yulian swear not to open his mouth. That way if this was fruitless, they wouldn’t disappoint her. And if they did find Joseph?

Then Ivo would give her the best surprise in all existence.

Because this was all technically a police investigation, Ivo couldn’t actually go in guns blazing. Raul and Savelio had to go first and then he and Lazar were allowed to follow. Without any weapons, of course.

Some bullshit there.

They started with the address closest to the house. It wasn’t actually that close but it was the closest out of the three. It looked to be some old factory plant thing in the midst of a maze of old factory plant things.

Kind of reminded him of the place he fought Aiken in when he walked in after the detectives cleared the front.

And then cleared the entire building.

His hope had deterred a little but Raul looked like it wasn’t such a big deal. The man lived and breathed hope like it was nothing. “Next address?”

Fishing out the paper he had written on, he said “Either the one on the Hudson or that other factoryish one.”

“Hudson,” Lazar answered. “It’s a shipyard, right? That’s where I’d put someone.”

Ivo would put someone anywhere he determined to be fit. But maybe his uncle had a thing for shipyards? Why did it even matter? “Okay, shipyard then.”

Reaching the shipyard, he had the sudden worry that Damyan might have put Joseph in one of those huge shipping crates. Searching those would take forever. He crossed his fingers that that wasn’t the situation as they walked into the next building.

He couldn’t hold himself any longer as Raul and Savelio started clearing the area. “Joseph!”

Flicking him an annoyed glance, Raul muttered “You realize how dangerous that is? What if someone is here with him?”

“Then I get to enjoy murdering someone,” he replied in quick Bulgarian as he started picking up his pace. This was taking way too long. If this wasn’t the place, then they needed to hit the last address. “Joseph!”

  

* * *

 

Somewhere deep in his mind, Joseph felt like he heard his name.

Was it his mind or was it real?

He didn’t know.

What he did know was that he was almost guaranteed dehydrated. And that there was a huge headache accompanying it.

Everything hurt like hell.

“Joseph!”

It was difficult but he managed to flick his eyes open. Picking up his head was a hell of an effort but he managed that one too. Not that the actions lasted before he was too tired and had to close his eyes again. The shout sure didn’t sound like it was in his head. It sounded like it was his father.

“Joseph!”

And it was getting louder. Louder? Louder meant closer.

His father was here. In the building.

 _Oh God, thank you._ Hopefully, this wasn’t him being delirious or something. He’d be beyond depressed then. Might as well just die on his puke.

“Oh Jesus fucking Christ…” came a whisper. Then there was a noise of…sliding? and then hands touching him. He couldn’t be imagining all of this, could he? “Joseph?”

And then the nasty rag was taken out of his mouth. Eyes heavily opening, Joseph came face to face with the relieved face of his father. And it was probably the most beautiful thing he had seen in days.

“Detectives!” came a call and Joseph felt like the man standing at the door was Lazar. Everything was too fuzzy for him right now as his father untied his hands and legs and yanked him into a hug.

Despite how much his arms ached, Joseph threw his arms around his father as tight as he could and buried his face into the man’s neck. It was weird to say this but he smelled like home.

And safety.

He wasn’t sure when he started crying but Joseph let all the pain he had been saving for hours flood out of him. His father was kissing his head and rubbing his back in soothing circles. “Hey, brat,” he whispered ever so softly. “It’s okay.” Thankfully, his father lifted him because Joseph knew his legs were pure jelly right now. “It’s over, Joseph, all over.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')  
> Стринка (strínka) – a father’s brother’s wife


	141. Chapter 140

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> So...the end of the gang war! I know I kinda rushed the ending (or at least I feel I did) but it was getting way too long. Like really really too long. Plus I feel like we're all ready to get moving anyways. Back to you know regular programming and whatever.
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> P.S. The whole 'Claudia implied it once' is from the Snapshot with Daniel going to Ivo for an alliance
> 
> _“How do people get squirrels out of their houses?”_

“And this one too,” Joseph said as he grabbed another book off the shelf. It seemed like a good choice to join the five others he had already picked. Maybe he should get four more? Go for an even ten?

Taking the book from his hand, his mother read the back while Joseph continued to browse the section. It was full of mysteries and detective stories. Fantastic genre, that was for sure.

“Okay, seems interesting,” she murmured and added it to the basket she carried. “I think these are plenty, baby.”

Shaking his head, Joseph replied “Four more.”

“Four?”

“Yes please,” he said while reading the back of a book that had a catchy cover. They always say don’t judge a book by its cover but you couldn’t help it. If the cover art sucked, sometimes the book actually sucked too. “Make it ten.”

“That’s a lot of books,” she noted as she followed behind him in the bookstore. She was making it a big deal and trying to say no but Joseph knew she wouldn’t. It’d been exactly two weeks since Damyan had snatched him from the backyard and if Joseph asked for a pony right now – not that he would; he’d pick something way cooler – his parents would get him it.

Was he taking advantage of the situation?

A little.

But he deserved to. And if his smile and pleading and bruised face didn’t work, he’d turn his head in that perfect angle to flash his eventual scar.

_Making sure to not even breathe, Joseph closed his eyes and focused on ignoring the pain. It wasn’t the easiest thing in the world because it hurt like hell but he tried his best as tears streamed down his face._

_“Finished,” Damyan said as Joseph felt the man lean back and away from Joseph, probably admiring his handiwork. Joseph could feel the blood trickling down his neck. “You should say ‘thank you, dyádo Damyan.’”_

_The word ‘dyádo’ and the name ‘Damyan’ did not belong in the same sentence. The phrase made him want to barf. Flicking his eyes open with difficulty from his stickily wet lashes, Joseph whispered “Thank you, piece of shit.” He knew the slit wasn’t that deep but he didn’t like the way his skin pulled when he spoke._

_Damyan nodded and was surprisingly wearing a smile. “You still have that fight in you, huh Yosef?” He got a clap on his back, “You are truly of Kavinsky blood. Such a shame you must die.”_

_“If you cared so much, you wouldn’t kill me,” he replied softly. But Joseph wasn’t stupid; there was no reasoning with this man._

_“Mmm…” Damyan hummed as he nodded. “If it makes you feel any better, I did consider simply kidnapping you and taking you back to Bulgaria with me. You’ve got a brilliant mind and as I’ve seen, a feisty spirit. You’d be quite the asset, really, once you grow a bit more. But then I remembered Ilarion’s screams and I knew I wanted to hear the same from your mouth.”_

_Yeah, no negotiations here._

It had been a shock to learn that Damyan had died. Joseph knew something had to have happened and that was why the horrid man had never come back. It had been an even more of a shock when he found out his father’s entire business had gone up in flames from an explosion caused by Damyan.

The death toll was currently at 173 and seemed like it would stay that way with whoever was in the hospital now on the road to recovering. Some roads, however, were going to be longer than others. Joseph had felt like the toll was huge but his father said that they had gotten incredibly lucky to stop at that much.

His father’s days used to be spent morning until night working on whatever it was that mobsters did on a day to day basis. Now his days were focused on seeing the mess of the casino cleaned up and, eventually, rebuilt. The day after Joseph had been brought home, his father had gone out and began getting a list of everyone who was dead or injured. The news reported the explosion as some freak accident but his father said it was only a matter of time before the investigative firefighters found evidence of the bombs.

Then more shit shows.

But for now, his father focused on the families of the dead and those who were injured that were employed for him – mobster all the way down to a janitor for the casino. Those who were guests just trying to win themselves some money and enjoy their time that day were also on his father’s list but they were after his people. He would pay for funerals and hospital bills for everyone.

In short, the past two weeks had been long, hell, and incredibly expensive. Daniel had, surprisingly, offered to help pay, willing to do half the funerals of those who had died and some of the construction expenses.

While the war had come to an end with Damyan’s death and Joseph’s return, his father harbored ill feelings for the Italians. As of now, he had said, he wouldn’t do anything; he had more important things to see to. But it didn’t mean he wouldn’t at all; he wanted full retaliation on the bastards who had helped create this entire mess.

And he apparently had an Irishman who was on a constant high who really wanted to help out.

“This one too,” Joseph murmured as he put the book in the basket. “It’s a series so we have to get the other three books. That’ll make us ten.” Shaking her head but keeping her silence, his mother simply stood as he set the last three books in the now heavy basket. “Can we get some scones and cannoli? Those are his favorites.”

With a smile as they walked over to the indoor café, his mother sighed “Should I get sick so you could make me a fancy gift?”

“I’ll make you a fancy gift for nothing, mayko,” he replied while checking out the scones in the glass display. "Do you want me to make you one?”

The books, despite how much he’d love some new ones, weren’t for him. Neither were the scones or the cannoli or the iced latte he’d make his mother stop for on their way over so it’d be fresh.

They were for Asen.

Though he was no longer his guard, Joseph still thought of him in that way. The man had quite nearly died for him a couple weeks ago. He was still in the hospital and would be for another week. Joseph had visited him only once a few days after getting home.

_“Asen,” he whispered to the pale form in the hospital bed. The heart monitor was beeping steadily and he sure had a lot of tubes connected to him. They told him he was in and out of consciousness most of the time and today was the first day he was fully aware. Asen’s parents were here – outside to give Joseph privacy – and once they left, his wife was supposed to come. They had to alternate so someone could watch the kids. “Asen.”_

_The man’s eyelids flickered a little before a small groan erupted from him. Once his eyes fully opened, he blinked heavily for a time before turning his head to Joseph. A smile erupted on Asen’s face in seconds. “You’re okay.”_

_“Gimme some credit,” he smiled, “I’m tougher than that.”_

_“Thank God that you are,” Asen said slowly, his words taking time to process from his groggy brain. “I already said this to your father but I’m truly sorry, Joseph.”_

_Joseph recoiled slightly in shock. “What? For what?”_

_“For failing at my job. I-”_

_“Don’t be stupid, Asen. You failed nothing and if tatko blames you for anything, tell me so I can go yell at him for you.” None of it was Asen’s fault. If anything, Joseph felt guilty that he hadn’t even been able to get out a scream from his throat. His parents had told him that he wasn’t at fault, they understood that panic attacks fucked with his functions. They said Asen would understand too._

_Didn’t mean Joseph felt any less guilty. What if the man had died?_

_Smiling again, his guard murmured “He says he does not…entirely blame me. Which I think is very gracious of him as it was my job to keep you safe and I didn’t do it.”_

_“You were stabbed repeatedly, stupid. You did plenty. Anyways,” he said, quickly changing the subject because they didn’t need to get stuck in this, “I’m bringing you a surprise next time I visit. It’s so awesome that you’re gonna love it.”_

_“Why thank you,” Asen laughed although it looked really painful. “I’m sure it is amazing although it’s not necessary.”_

_“It’s necessary,” Joseph snorted._

At the time, he hadn’t known what in the world this awesome present would be but then he thought about the things he had noticed Asen liked. Like books and scones and cannoli.

Sounded like a good gift to him.

He got lots of books because hospitals were horribly boring. He picked detective/mystery stuff because he had noticed those were Asen’s favorites next to science fiction.

“I do love me a surprise,” she smiled while paying for a box of pastries. “It couldn’t hurt.”

“Then your surprise gift basket is next on the list. Can I get a cookie?”

“Of course.” Turning back to the cashier, she asked “Can I add a cookie to that? Actually, make it two. I could use me something sweet.”

If there was one thing Joseph couldn’t be happier about in the end of all this, it was being home again. Actually in his house. His father had actually sent someone to clean it before they went back saying they were going home to relax, not dust and vacuum.

Not that the man had done any relaxing yet.

His father’s family had officially left back for Bulgaria yesterday with Lazar now the head back home. Joseph saw him as a new type of leadership. The good kind or at least as good as mobsters come. Like his grandfather and even his father.

To his surprise, it was Rumen who had found him. Well, found the possible locations of his captivity. He had been shocked to say the least. But the smile the man wore at seeing that he had had a hand in saving Joseph made his heart light for days.

So he got him a gift.

_“Here you go,” Joseph smiled, holding out a bag for Rumen to accept. “Besides for the hug I gave you, this is my thank you gift.”_

_Looking incredibly and very happily shocked, Rumen accepted the bag and said “You didn’t have to! Seeing you okay is more than enough for me. Earning everyone’s gratitude and feeling their pride in me is definitely plenty.”_

_“That’s all good and nice but I hope you like your gift.”_

_With a laugh and a shake of his head, Rumen set the bag on the floor and stretched his hand in, pulling out a briefcase. With scrunched brows, his father’s cousin undid the latches and opened it up._

_And a huge smile lit his entire face._

_“I don’t know exactly how to pick out chef quality knives but me and mayko tried our bests,” Joseph notified, his own happiness at the man liking his gift reflected on his face. “I remember hearing you want to be a chef? Lazar says he found a good school next to where you guys live at. So you need a good knife set to pass, right?”_

_Tears were building up in the older man’s eyes. “They’re beautiful, Joseph. Thank you so much.” Wiping his eyes with the back of his hand, Rumen murmured “Chef Rumen Kavinsky. Sounds darn good to me.”_

With Lazar now in power, the two mobs were going to work together and supply one another. Big business and lots of money to be made. What had struck Joseph and what he had wished he had known before was that Lazar’s wife was actually the girl that had broken his father’s heart. It sounded stupid but he wished he had known all those times he had talked with Raina. His father didn’t talk often about his childhood and he’d bet that Raina had some good dirt on the man.

_“So this is technically not my business,” Mr. Vidal said slowly._

_“That’s never a good way to start a conversation,” tetíncho Yulian laughed. They were sharing drinks before Lazar and them left. Technically, Joseph was supposed to be sleeping, not listening to conversations that weren’t his._

_It wasn’t his fault he needed water and paused at the stairs._

_Nope._

_“I’m curious, okay? Shut up,” Mr. Vidal snorted. “I’m talking to her.” Joseph’s guess was that he was either talking to Malina, Raina, or Ognyana. There was nothing that Joseph could think of that Mr. Vidal would start like that with his mother. “So…are you the cheater one? I’ve been dying to know.”_

_Cheater one?_

_“Whoa, Raul,” his father reprimanded with a laugh. “What I say to you in privacy is private, you know.”_

_“What? I told you I was a gangster in privacy and yet somehow Joseph seemed to have gotten the news.”_

_“The…cheater one?” came Raina’s voice. There was a hint of embarrassment in it and a nervous laugh followed. “The cheater one.”_

_There was a cluck of tongue and then Mr. Vidal said “Yup. The one who was on her knees…?”_

_“I can’t believe you go around telling people that,” Lazar groaned. “It happened. Move on.”_

_There was a snort that Joseph figured came from his father who then said “Oh I’ve moved on. I’m married to the sexiest woman alive, thank you. Trust me, definitely moved on. No offense, Raina, but you don’t have shit on Vesela.”_

_“I can’t even decide if I’m offended or not,” she muttered in response._

_Malina laughed with that distinct nasal tone of hers before she said “You should be. I think he just called you ugly.”_

_“No I didn’t.” Joseph could imagine his father rolling his eyes. “I said Vesela is the ultimate sexiest most amazing most b-e-a-utiful woman to ever exist on this entire fucking planet. That’s what I said. You’re just okay.”_

_“Please stop insulting my wife,” Lazar sighed._

_“I’m not. I said she was okay. Plus, I did ask her out so obviously she’s pretty.” There was a pause that Joseph guessed was his father taking a sip. “I’ve got the best taste in everything.”_

_“Such a cocky bastard,” his mother sighed as she came in from the garage with a cup of ice. Joseph shrunk into the wall just in case she looked his way. Luckily, she didn’t._

_“I mean, yeah,” his father snorted, “You’ve seen what I pack. I’m entitled to be cocky.”_

_“No one wants to hear about your dick, pervert,” tetíncho Yulian muttered, “Besides Vesela.”_

_“Hey,” she laughed, “I don’t need to hear about it, I get to see it whenever I like.”_

_Joseph’s face flamed up from his embarrassment at hearing that; he couldn’t help it. He preferred not to know the intimate details of his parents’ relationship. Like the really intimate stuff; basic sexual innuendo didn’t really kill him much. “Hey, hey, t.m.i.,” Mr. Vidal complained, “I don’t want to hear about it. Keep it to yourselves.”_

_“Friends know everything about each other, Raul,” his father reminded. “Like how I know that you’re totally kinky in bed.”_

_Now Joseph was really feeling this wasn’t his conversation as Mr. Vidal choked on his drink. “What?”_

_“Claudia implied it once. I have declared it true regardless if it is or isn’t.”_

_“Oh my God…”_

_“I know, I was shocked too,” his father laughed._

_“There isn’t anything wrong with having kinks or dirty sex,” Malina said, “It’s totally hot.”_

_“T-M-I,” Lazar’s muffled groan came out. Probably burying his head in his hands. “I don’t want to know that Lina.”_

_“Like licking up a dude hanging from the ceiling?” tetíncho Yulian asked in a condescending tone. “That kind of hot?”_

_“Ew, wait, what?” His father expressed the disbelief Joseph was in._

_“Pretty sure if I asked for a blow job, she would have gladly given it.”_

_“Walking away,” Lazar said as Raina and Ognyana started laughing. “I don’t want to hear any of this anymore.”_

_“Don’t hate what you haven’t tried,” Nayden called after his brother._

_Joseph was surprised by the amount of venom in Lazar’s voice when he shot back “With the girlfriend, the mistress, or the whore?”_

_“The what?” Rumen asked in surprise._

_“Drama out of my house, fuckshits,” his father snorted. “Fight about it when you’re not here.”_

Nightmares from his kidnapping had occurred which was something everyone had been expecting. What had shocked Joseph was how well he was actually doing after the whole ordeal. Really, everyone had been shocked at how well he was handling it all.

He felt okay and that was good enough for him.

Life was okay now. Things were on track to getting better, Joseph had finally gotten to see Emilio, and surprisingly, he had been happy to get back to school.

Routine was almost back and man, was it nice.

He had missed simple.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')  
> Стринка (strínka) – a father’s brother’s wife


	142. Chapter 141

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> Back to life as normal! Big stuff is coming guys. BIG STUFF FOR FRIDAY/SUNDAY  
> BIG  
> Some ppl I know won't be happy but...it was always going to happen since the beginning guys.
> 
> So today is more of a 'set the stage' thing. Enjoy!
> 
> _“Uh…are we not going back downstairs?”_

His head felt fuzzy as he opened his eyes.

“Holy shit,” he half whisper-screamed as he jumped from his bed and then slammed into his nightstand which then caused him to slam to the floor while being all tangled in his covers. Yeah that hurt.

Probably looked hilarious though.

Looking back at the bed, Joseph could feel his eyes stretch wide when he realized he wasn’t imagining it.

Staring down at him was a very real squirrel.

A live squirrel making that weird noise that squirrels make.

On his bed.

Staring down at him.

There was a knock at his door and Joseph’s heart went from freaking out to level two of freaking out as his mother’s voice murmured into the night “Joseph?” _Why’s this lady have such good timing?_ He didn’t answer which turned out to be the bad idea as his mother opened the door and peeked in.

“Mayko, close the door!” he exclaimed fast. All they needed was the squirrel escaping the closure of his room. At least here, they wouldn’t have to hunt the rodent down through a huge house.

Looking at him in surprise because he was on the floor and had just demanded her to shut the door in the middle of the night, she came in and closed the door.

Then the squirrel chattered.

“What. The. Hell,” she whispered haltingly. “Joseph, why the hell is there a squirrel on your bed?”

“Uhh…” he trailed as he stared at it as it jumped off and slowly walked past him, sniffing as it did. “No comment.”

“No comment?” she whisper-shouted much like he had before. “The window isn’t even open and it’s the middle of the night. And there’s a squirrel. There. Walking next to you.”

Yeah, that would be a squirrel. “We should lock it in the bathroom.”

His mother slapped her face in her exasperation. “Oh my God.”

“Hey, it’s a good idea,” he said as he slowly stood and followed the squirrel towards the bathroom. Once it made it in, Joseph very slowly and quietly shut the door. “Okay, now what?”

“I don’t know,” she huffed, throwing her arms in the air. “How do people get squirrels out of their houses?”

 

  

* * *

 

“Ivo.”

Someone was calling his name. Vesela?

“Ivo.”

Yup, Vesela. But it wasn’t sexy and sultry which was disappointing. He’d been too exhausted to do anything in his waking hours. That much had been proven to be true when they were warming up for sex a couple days ago and he had actually fallen asleep as Vesela kissed down his chest. Literally fallen asleep in two seconds. He’d been incredibly disappointed at himself but Vesela just laughed it off the next morning and said sleep was way more important.

But he felt like he could probably be awake enough for sex in a dream.

“Ivo.”

No dream sex. This was her ‘wake up’ voice.

Sigh.

“Babe. Ivo. Wake up.”

“Mmm…” he hummed. It couldn’t be morning already, could it? He felt like he had barely even slept.

“There’s a squirrel in Joseph’s bathroom.”

That’s funny, he could have sworn she just said squirrel. In Joseph’s bathroom. “No.”

“C’mon, I don’t know what to do with it. Get it out. Do something.”

Pulling the covers over his head and curling in on himself, he mumbled sleepily “No.”

“It could have rabies. Get it out or kill it, I don’t care but get rid of it.”

“There’s no squirrel.”

He could feel her mouth on his ear through the blanket. “Ivo,” she whispered softly, “There’s a fucking squirrel in my adorable boy’s room. Get it out, please.”

Groaning as he took the cover off his face, he stared groggily at Vesela then the clock. “Why the fuck is a squirrel in Joseph’s bathroom at two in the morning?”

“No clue,” she shrugged in her tank top while standing over him. “C’mon, I seriously have no clue what to do with it.”

Yawning as he sat up and stretched his exhausted muscles, he muttered “Can’t Joseph push it out the window or something? Use his magical animal speaking skills?”

“You want the magical animal whisperer to push a squirrel out of a third story window?” she laughed. “Seriously?”

“Good point,” he sighed as he stood and trudged to Joseph’s room. His son was sitting on his bed, giving Peanut a rubdown with an incredibly pleased look on his face. What was he pleased about? The fact that he had trapped a squirrel in his shit room?

“It awaits you, my good lord,” Joseph laughed. His momentary lapse in attention gave Peanut a chance to snag his finger with a sharp claw. “Ow, jerk.”

He didn’t know if animals could feel sadness but he felt like that ever since Waddle had passed – without suffering which was awesome – Peanut hadn’t been her usual annoying self. Ivo felt like she missed his company and was lonely. She had probably gotten used to having a companion.

An idea struck him. “How about we let Peanut eat it?”

“Tatko,” Joseph muttered with an eyeroll. “Seriously?”

“Yeah,” he shrugged, “Why not? She’s a cat. She should hunt. Make herself useful and shit.”

“She’s old and old ladies don’t have to make themselves useful. They get to do lots of resting.”

Sighing in defeat on that angle, he said “Okay, I need a box at least. Have any or do I have to trudge to the garage, disarm the alarm, and grab a box?”

“The latter.”

 

  

* * *

 

Joseph took a bite of his Poptart after he had dipped it in milk. He couldn’t believe it.

He had done it. An entire animal came out of his brain. Not just an entire animal but an entire _functioning_ animal.

Was he God or what?

Okay, so that was mildly blasphemous but _come on._ _He had created life._

And not by making a baby.

That sounded pretty godly to him.

It’d be cool if his grandfather was alive to see how much Joseph had developed his skills.

The dream squirrel had actually cooperated nicely and had been captured in the box, taken downstairs, and let out into the backyard. Joseph wondered if he saw another squirrel, would he be able to tell his squirrel from a normal one?

He looked up when he heard Peanut scratching at the screen door to the backyard. She had torn up the last one and his parents had definitely not been happy. “Wait.” Rushing over to her, he let her out for her daily ritual.

Sitting on Waddle’s grave.

Joseph didn’t know if it was because she had watched them put the box that had Waddle in it in the ground or somehow she had some weird intuition where she just knew her friend was there.

Whatever it was, it was kind of depressing.

When Waddle had passed, Joseph had found him dead, having been sleeping in his bed. He had cried and then went to get his mother. She had promised long ago that they’d give him a mini funeral when he passed and she held her promise, even digging the hole herself.

He was over the grief but every now and then, the sadness still touched him. And how could it not? The stubbster had been fucking awesome.

But life was better than where it had been months ago. Asen was working again and besides for some scars on his abdomen, he was in top condition. Even his smile seemed brighter. The casino was in the process of being rebuilt, the cleanup having finished up within the first month of the explosion. His father made sure that the crews were working fast; he wanted to be up and running as quickly as possible.

Besides for the obvious creation of the squirrel, Joseph had made progress on something else.

The map.

After looking at a map of New Jersey, he came to realize that the mountain and lakes kind of matched High Point mountain in High Point State Park. That had to be where his prádyádo had been buried.

And maybe where his limbo world was.

But he’d never find out. He had asked if maybe they could go but with the work on the casino, there was no time. It had occurred to him to ask tetíncho Yulian but the man was still using one of those canes with an arm support to get around.

Damyan had really fucked up his leg.

His uncle would be off it soon if his therapy kept going well but his leg would never be close to the same as it had been.

That bugged his tetíncho a lot.

So going was out of the question. Or at least it was for the current time being. But Joseph wasn’t even sure what he’d have to look for anyways. He hadn’t figured out if there was an exact location pinpointed on the thing or not. It’d probably end up being a waste of a trip. Aimless searching.

His prábaba, it seemed, had been under some sort of order thing where the nursing home she was in would pull the plug on her if his grandfather passed. That had obviously happened and the woman had been taken off life support when his dyádo had been murdered. In the hospital reports, however, it seemed that even after they pulled her off the machine, she had lived. It had apparently confused the nurses but they were under orders.

So they gave her that shot that can kill people with a large enough dosage. That had worked but it had taken longer than anyone had ever before.

The power of dreaming.

But it was a bummer really. He felt like she was his best lead.

What he knew for sure was that she was a dream object. He had confidently come to the conclusion through the use of all the paperwork from Asen that the woman had succumbed to her ovarian cancer.

Prádyádo Atanas had made her anew when he lost her. And dream Kalina had fallen into a coma when he died. Joseph figured that a dream object couldn’t live without their dreamer or some sort of dream power surrounding them. He didn’t know if another dreamer could take care of another’s living objects but he knew that anything living taken from dreams fell asleep once their maker was gone.

So if Joseph died, then his squirrel would sleep forever if it wasn’t hit by a car first.

The more you know.

And while all these awesome discoveries were great, there was something far more pressing on his mind. Because if there was something he currently was looking forward to immensely, it was his birthday.

In two more days, he’d be fourteen.

_Fourteen._

Even better than that?

He was officially taller than Emilio.

_“Oh my God,” Joseph said suddenly as he stood waiting for Emilio to put on his shoes so they could play outside._

_“What?” his best friend in the world with badass scars on his legs asked as he stood once his laces were tied._

_“I’m taller,” he whispered in amazement. How could this be?_

_Emilio actually looked at Joseph like he was crazy and for a second, Joseph totally thought that he was. “No you’re not.”_

_Nodding hurriedly, Joseph dragged Emilio to his side and turned him so his back was facing then pressed his back to his. Feeling a small space from his head to Emilio’s, Joseph exclaimed “I’m taller!”_

_“What?” Emilio replied in an almost worry. “No way. I’m always taller.” Joseph knew exactly how it felt to always be the shorter one so he was actually feeling some sympathy for his friend._

_Being the shortest sucked balls._

_Regardless, though, he was going to enjoy this moment._

_“I’m taller, fool!” Joseph shouted with a triumphant fist raised to the air. “Joseph Kavinsky has hit his growth spurt! Yes!” Pretty soon, he’d become even taller than now. And then, he’d be as tall as his father. Or at least his tetíncho. Andrey was already 5’ 11’’ and it drove Joseph insane at his 5’ 3’’. His cousin was less than two years older than him and he was a giant next to Joseph._

_His mother said Andrey was probably done growing though and his father kept saying for him not to worry. For all he knew, Andrey had a small package._

_His father had a weird obsession with size. If the man wasn’t well endowed, he’d probably die or would have killed himself._

_Joseph had no idea what to think about that information but whatever. He tried not to think about other guys’ packages because then his thoughts would turn…dirty. He couldn’t help it. But it was like a curious sort of thing, not a porno-ish thing. Mainly, there was always one thing he wondered about._

_Like how in the world did two guys have sex? He had learned about anal sex among the types of sex and then Joseph thought that maybe that was it? Guys obviously didn’t have vaginas like girls so maybe they had anal sex?_

_And then Joseph remembered that there was no gross mistake like him in the world. There weren’t guys who liked guys and, obviously, there was no guy on guy action._

_No gay sex existed._

_He was so stupid._

His birthday party was going to be here at home and everyone had been invited. He had actually been surprised that his father seemed very emphatic that _everyone_ came.

Did the man have something big planned? He had to if he needed _everyone._ Literally, he had said ‘make sure all of you come’ in a threatening tone.

Who knew what his birthday would bring.

Good stuff was what he was betting.

He couldn’t wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')  
> Стринка (strínka) – a father’s brother’s wife


	143. Chapter 142

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> Really the whole chapter is important as any other one.  
> But the last three lines?
> 
> That's how you know this story is close to ending. We have officially reached like the anticlimactic climax. The reason of this story and the reason of Joseph.  
> The big huge fall begins ;)
> 
> (ironically the big huge fall stays incredibly happy for awhile until the climax of the big huge fall)  
> ((then complete shit))
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> _“So…now you know.”_

“So when will you try to make some people?” Diana asked as they lounged on the soft grass of his haven, the dragon girl munching on the tip of a strand of her fiery hair. “You’ve done enough animal practice I think. The squirrel, that bird, that other kind of bird, the kitten that you still have no clue where it went-”

“Okay, okay,” Joseph interrupted. He still felt guilty about the poor thing. The plan had been to act like he had found it and then convince his parents to let him keep it. Peanut seemed so lonely and Joseph thought that maybe young blood would awaken her old soul.

But after putting the kitten outside and then going back in for what felt like barely even one second, it had disappeared. All Joseph could hope for was that it had found someone to take it in and it hadn’t been run over or something.

He was convinced the squashed squirrel he saw the other day down the road was his.

Sad but the way of life, he figured.

“I’m not comfortable making people,” Joseph said, finally answered her question. “That’s so weird, you know? Why do I need to make a human being?”

Turning her head to look at him from where she lay beside him, the redhead snorted “Because you can, stupid. Many people would kill to have your ability.”

They probably would but Joseph wasn’t them. Plus, as awesome as his gift was, sometimes he just wished he had a normal unmagical brain. People like that seemed to have simpler lives.

Easier.

Happier.

A touch of jealousy panged his heart from these people. If anything, they at least didn’t have the occasional wound from some freaky place that decided when you were taking too much.

It was explicitly obvious that Joseph wasn’t his prádyádo.

The forest ran him.

Not the other way around.

It didn’t matter how many times Diana kept saying ‘we are you,’ the fucking forest wasn’t his.

He was its.

And that was terrifying until he figured out how to turn the situation the other way around.

Turn it to where he became the God of this world.

“I don’t want to make people and I hope there will never be a day that I have to. Pull a person out of my brain? Freaky, Diana.”

“Powerful, Joseph,” she countered as she sat up to stare down at him with her slitted eyes. “Utter power. Control. That’s what you want more than anything in the world, isn’t it? Control?”

Grating his lip between his teeth as he too sat up, Joseph thought about this. Control was something he’d love more than anything. Just to have control, not only over his dream place, but some sort of control in his life. Granted, his life was better than it had been. Things were better – happier, brighter.

But he still wished he wasn’t a pawn between everyone. Because really, that’s all he was, wasn’t he? If his parents had issues, he was the bait or got stuck between them. The turns his life took were run by the people around him, not himself.

That was what was so satisfying about hurting himself. He controlled it. The amount of pain, the amount of blood, how deep, how long – those were all in his hands. Nothing happened without his direct hand and will in it.

So to exert enough control over his mind to be able to pull out an entire existing functioning human?

That type of control was powerful. Beyond the confines of reality. Beyond the world where people decided who you are and what you did.

Beyond the world where it was only what other people dreamed for you.

Reality would become what _he_ dreamed.

Then he’d truly be fucking God.

Joseph craved that. Craved control, craved the feeling of being more powerful than someone else. Not because he wanted to hurt anyone but because he just wanted to feel it. Feel if it made him more confident, if it made him stronger.

If it made him impenetrable when facing the cruel world.

God, he’d love that.

No pain, no suffering.

Hurting wouldn’t even exist anymore.

And if he was truly that powerful and contained that much control, if he really was a God…

Then any normal person was just a pawn beneath him.

He wouldn’t become a nasty cruel human being to them but he’d have the knowledge of knowing that he was better than them. He was superior and he could do whatever the hell he wanted.

Fuck rules, fuck laws, fuck religion.

Fuck social standards. Fuck society and their way of pressuring a person into making them believe that they’re utterly worthless or disgusting. Or both.

Fuck everyone who says that he can’t love a boy.

Because as much as he’d love control, if he had to choose only one?

He’d pick the chance of loving how he truly wanted to. Who he truly wanted to.

If he had to give up every ounce of the very little control he had in his life but got to love a boy and everyone around him accepted it and acted like it was normal, Joseph would do it in seconds.

“If only,” he sighed in sadness.

“You’d rather have a boy than be a God?” Diana said in shock. “Are you mad?”

Maybe. “I want to know what it’s like to have what my parents have. Love. I’m never going to feel that with a girl. No matter how hard I try, I already know.”

“If somehow I offered you complete understanding of this world and showed you the complete power, you would take a boy instead?”

“Yes,” Joseph replied full of conviction.

Diana nodded in thought while rubbing her chin. Finally, she shrugged and said “Okay. Too bad I can’t offer you anything, huh?’

She was such a jerk sometimes. A lot of times, actually. “Can’t you get into contact with Forest God and say ‘hey, dude, teach the kid some stuff’?

Snorting laughter erupted from Diana. “Joseph, silly boy, say that to yourself.”

“Huh?” he muttered in confusion as wakefulness caught up with him.

Blinking his eyes open at his sudden return to the waking reality, Joseph stared up at the ceiling as he thought on Diana’s final words echoing through his mind.

_You’re the forest God. And this? This is your paradise._

_You just need to bloom._

 

 

“Happy fourteenth!” his mother shouted as she yanked him into a hug after they sang for him. Joseph still stuck to his belief in not having candles; it was a stupid concept and teaching kids that their wishes would come true from just blowing out a stupid flame was cruel. Plain sick, really.

Hugging her tightly back, he smiled “Thank you, mayko. I think you’re getting old now, Mrs. Kavinsky, with having a fourteen year-old and all.”

That earned him a slap on the back of his head as they pulled apart. “I’m not old, nasty.”

“Oooolldddd,” he sang. “You’re turning thirty-seven, mayko. That’s old; don’t lie to yourself now. Don’t go around telling people you’re still in your twenties or something.”

“So rude,” she huffed with a big smile.

“Hey, hey,” Emilio laughed, joining the line of conversation, “What are you calling my mom then?” Mrs. Vidal started to laugh with a shake of her head. “She’s turning forty-one in a couple weeks. You calling this pretty lady old?”

“Thank you, mijo,” Mrs. Vidal snorted in amusement. “But it’s okay, I don’t mind being old. Old ladies are supposed to get relaxation time. I’m excited to reach mine.”

“Abuela doesn’t look like she’s relaxing when she’s chasing down Alondra with la chankla.”

Alondra was going to be six this year but she had the steeled gaze of a hard time criminal. Emilio’s younger sister shot her brother the death glare at revealing what she thought was a secret. _Everyone_ knew about it. “That never happens.”

“Does too,” Linda argued with a huge grin. “All theeeee time. You’re such a horrible child.”

“No!” Alondra shouted while slamming her fists on the table causing Albena to jump beside her. The younger girl looked at her usual companion like she was completely insane. She kind of was. “I’m-”

“Dios mío, Alondra,” Mr. Vidal reprimanded, cutting into whatever she had to say, “Where are your manners?”

Looking hurt at not having her side taken by her father, she replied “Papa, Linda said-”

“I heard,” he interrupted again, looking a little annoyed at her behavior. “But that does not mean to start yelling. She was joking, mija.”

“Oh,” Alondra muttered as she sunk into her chair. “I knew that.”

Shaking his head in mock disappointment, his father said “For shame, Alondra.” The little girl replied by sticking her tongue at him to which he more than happily did the same.

“I think the only one who doesn’t grow up is tatko,” Joseph laughed as he watched his mother cut up the cake. He had decided to go somewhat traditional this year and settled for a chocolate cake with whip cream in it and on it. Buttercream was kind of just eh; Joseph never really liked it that much. Too heavy and sweet which was kind of funny for him to say because he loved sweets more than anything.

But buttercream frosting was just _too sweet_. There was a line and buttercream crossed it.

“The man is stuck in his teenage years,” he continued, getting his slice of the delicious looking cake first. “I caught him yelling at the tv when he lost a match in Halo the other day. Forty and shouting at the game. Sheesh, Lord Kavinsky.” His father rarely took time away from fixing the casino and getting everything back in order but every now and then, Joseph’s mother forced him to relax.

Although getting angry at a game wasn’t exactly the most relaxing thing in the world. It could cause some serious blood pressure.

“Okay, that fucker fucking cheated, alright?” his father muttered in annoyance with crossed arms. “I had that one.”

“But you lost it,” Andrey laughed with his heavy bass. It was a nice laugh; not as nice as Emilio’s but still music to the ears. “Too bad.”

They all continued their laughs and stories and jokes as they enjoyed cake and Joseph opened his presents, loving everything he got. But then, that was typical. Everyone knew what sorts of things he liked and enjoyed, so he was pretty easy to shop for. His tastes didn’t really change over the years.

Stuffing the gifts into the variety of bags they had come in, Joseph grabbed a few in his hands to take up to his room to get them out of the way. Their guests were staying for dinner too, so as his mother loved to say ‘no messes allowed downstairs.’ It was a shame really because downstairs had more floor space for certain stuff than his room did. Also, downstairs happened to be when you reached the end of the stairs.

And sliding down the staircase was totally awesome.

_“Ready?” Emilio asked from behind him while Joseph sat on his sled at the top of the stairs._

_“Ready, bromilio. If I die, you get to have all my stuff. Make sure you take good care of Peanut.” The chances of actually dying from sledding down the stairs was slim but hey, you never knew._

_Laughing in the voice that Joseph loved, Emilio replied “Gee, thanks. I’d prefer I get to keep you instead of your stuff but I guess I shouldn’t be picky.” His friend’s hands rested on the back of the sled to give Joseph the nudge he’d need. “On three. One, two, three!”_

_The push from behind was all he needed as the sled lurched forward and he began sliding down full speed ahead on the smooth cardboard boxes they had laid down first. “Whoo!”_

_What they should have thought of was some kind of landing pad. Maybe a pillow pile? Because once he and his sled hit the bottom, he slid a little on the tile but then the sled caught on the floor and Joseph went flinging out._

_“Awesome!” he shouted as he rolled to his feet. He ached a little but what the hell, right? Fun was fun. “A little rough on the come down but A-MAAA-ZING!”_

_His friend let out a huge whoop of glee then said “Bring the sled back up. My turn!”_

Emilio grabbed the last remaining bags from the floor and followed Joseph up the stairs and to his room. They set the bags in the corner of the room; Joseph figured he’d put them away later. It wasn’t really a huge deal anyways, messes were messes in his laboratory of awesomeness. But never dirty. He didn’t stoop that low and his mother would kill him anyways if he got all gross on her. She tolerated toys or books lying around but laundry was a big no. He had a basket for a reason, she said, use it. Garbage was a definite hell no; that’s what wastebaskets were for.

He was about to go back downstairs because he was kind of the dude of the day and should be with everyone. What came as a surprise was when Emilio beat him to the door and shut it, leaning himself on it, hands fiddling in front of him, and with a nervous smile playing on his face.

Joseph had noticed that ever since his bromilio had come over, despite how well he was trying to hide it, he had been nervous. Acting a little off but only to the extent where Joseph and probably Mr. Vidal could notice. What this odd demeanor was about, Joseph hadn’t been able to figure out yet.

Maybe he was about to.

“Uh…are we not going back downstairs?” he joked, walking closer to his friend, leaving less than a foot between them. “It’d be weird for us to just disappear on everyone, you know.”

Tilting his head in thought for no more than a second before straightening it back up while standing straighter, Emilio took a deep breath. Like one of those breaths you take when you’re trying to calm a furiously beating heart.

_Huh…_

Then the impossible happened. The improbable, the unbelievable, the unreal, the inconceivable. Any and all those words all at once, at exactly the same moment in time.

Hands cupped his face.

And soft warm lips pressed onto his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')  
> Стринка (strínka) – a father’s brother’s wife


	144. Chapter 143

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> If you don't keep up with the convos in the comments, just a note in case anyone has been suspecting or already guessed like Goldfish, Diana is Joseph's dragon. You know, the dragon who did assisted suicide. There was a reason I made her a dragonlike girl ;)
> 
> Also if you don't keep up with the convos, you won't know that the story only has around 4 arcs left! We're that close peeps.
> 
> Next up to this semi long note, the update schedule. I have ultimately decided that it's best we switch back to Sun/Tue/Thurs. We give whoever needs a chance to catch up sometime and also it'll just help us breath I think. Later on maybe we'll switch back to five days but for now it's three.
> 
> And now? Enjoy! This chpt is a real good one full of feelings. See y'all Tuesday
> 
> _“It’s the most beautiful envelope I’ve ever seen!”_

Pulling away with his heart beating so freaking hard that he was sure it was just going to explode entirely from his chest, Emilio put his shaking hands down to his sides and watched his best friend in the world.

Who also happened to be the love of his life.

He had only gone in for a peck; the last thing he needed was to freak Joseph out with some tongue that maybe he didn’t want. And Emilio really wasn’t that skilled of a kisser anyways.

Joseph was his first.

For the last two weeks, Emilio had been on the fence on what to do. From since Joseph had been taken by Damyan, he had decided that he was at least going to tell his friend how he truly felt about him. What if something had happened to Joseph? What if he had died? Emilio would have never gotten over not being able to tell the most amazing boy in the world how much he loved him. Adored him.

Wanted him.

Last night, he had officially decided that he wasn’t going to just tell Joseph his feelings. He’d kiss him; ask him out.

And maybe, just maybe, they’d be boyfriends.

_He had been standing at his parent’s bedroom door for the past five minutes and Emilio knew he was being weird now. Finally gathering his courage, he knocked and hoped his dad wasn’t sleeping yet. When he got no answer, he knocked again._

_“Come in.”_

_Opening the door, Emilio happily noted that his father’s voice didn’t sound at all sleepy. He walked in and sat on the bed, smiling to his father who was tying the strings to his lounge pants. Emilio held his silence as he watched him open a drawer and pull out a shirt, slipping it over his muscled body._

_Emilio wanted to look that good one day. He wouldn’t just be the smartest cop, he’d be a damn sexy one too. He’d be good enough to join the sexy firefighter calendar. Did they do cop versions?_

_“You plan on saying anything?” his father asked, mussing up his gel-free hair after a shower while massaging his head as walked over and sat beside Emilio on the bed. “Something wrong, mijo?”_

_Words weren’t forming from all his nerves. All that came out was a groan as he covered his face with his hands and fell back onto the bed. He let out another groan for good measure._

_“Please don’t tell me your about to say you got a girl pregnant. There are plenty of pillows here; I will smother you and not feel guilty.”_

_“What?” he laughed, still hiding under his hands. “Seriously?”_

_“Hey, how should I know when you come in here all mopey and groan-y.”_

_Removing his hands and blinking at his father who actually looked serious at such a stupid thing, Emilio notified “Papi, I haven’t even kissed, not to have made a baby.”_

_Shrugging, he replied “You don’t need to kiss to have sex.”_

_Sighing as he sat up while shaking his head, Emilio assured “There are no babies and I have had no sex. And no kisses. I’ve gotten plenty of pretty smiles though.”_

_Chuckling, his father pointed out “It’s not pretty girl smiles you’re looking for.”_

_No, it wasn’t. “That’s kind of what I’m here to talk about.”_

_“Oh?”_

_Nodding and taking a deep breath, Emilio said “I’ve…I’ve decided that I’m going to tell Joseph how I feel. Tomorrow. On his birthday. Um…ask him out and all that.”_

_His father was studying him close but said nothing for a while until finally “You’re ready to?”_

_Playing with the shorter hairs on his neck, he murmured “I think so. I mean, I’m starting high school and then he’s going to after a year and we’re lucky ‘cause we’ll end up going to the same school. So we’ll be together and stuff. And…”_

_“And,” his dad prompted gently._

_“And…and I’m sure there’s lots of pretty girls who’ll like what they see and you know, he’ll like what he sees. I don’t want them to have what they can see. If we’re together before high school…”_

_“Then the charmer is already taken from all the big eyed pretty girls?”_

_Blushing, he mumbled “Exactly. The charmer will be my boyfriend and he won’t look at all those girls any more than I’d look at them or the guys.”_

_Nodding slowly, his father replied with a shrug “That’s some pretty good reasoning you have there.”_

_“Thanks,” he couldn’t help but laugh. “I’m just so worried. What if…what if he says no? Actually, I’ll understand if he says no. Maybe he just doesn’t like guys or I’m not his type beyond friendship but like… what if he doesn’t want to be my friend anymore? What if he thinks…” He faltered, not wanting to voice his worst fear. “What if he’s a homophobe or something and doesn’t want to be my friend anymore? I don’t want to lose my best friend and my love at the same time. I’d break.”_

_Getting off the bed, his dad crouched in front of him and took his hands in his own. So similar to the day that he told Emilio he loved him the way he was; bisexuality and all. “Emilio, if he does not accept you how you are, then, I’m sorry, but he is not a friend worth keeping. A friend is to be accepting and loving, not hateful. If he’s too stupid to accept the beauty of the way you are, then you need to tell him to go to hell.”_

Joseph’s eyes were wider than wide, huger than the entire moon. Hell, maybe Jupiter. His friend raised a hand to those lips that Emilio thought were so beautiful and touched them like they were the most fragile thing in the world.

Eyes still wide, full of emotions that Emilio couldn’t even begin to break down.

“Joseph,” he whispered when still nothing happened. He was getting more panicked by the minute as the silence continued to carry.

His friend blinked a few times before rubbing his lower lip a little, then returned his hands down to his sides, clutching the hem of his shirt tight. Emilio’s own had moved in front of him as he fiddled fearfully with his fingers. “You…” Joseph trailed ever so softly that Emilio barely heard. “You kissed me.”

“Um…” he said in a shaky voice. “Yeah, I-I did.” He really hoped he wasn’t about to tell his friend to go to hell. “Is that…okay?”

“You kissed me,” Joseph repeated with a whisper, touching his mouth again. “Kissed.”

“Yeah.”

Confusion mostly took over Joseph’s expression. “But…you’re a boy…and…I’m a boy.”

“Um…” Emilio mumbled nervously, biting on his lower lip. “Yeah. I…I like boys. I uh…I especially like you. I’ve kind of had a crush on you since we met. And I…I kinda wanted you to know.” The room felt unnervingly hot even though Emilio knew it wasn’t that bad. “So…now you know.”

He hadn’t thought it possible but Joseph’s eyes turned even wider and starting flooding with emotions so fast that Emilio couldn’t keep up to identify them all. “You…you like boys? B-But you always talk about girls and point out someone you think is pretty. All the time.” It almost sounded accusing. Slightly angry.

Shrugging and deciding to think on that reaction later, Emilio replied “I like both. Girls are pretty and boys are too. I never mentioned when I saw a cute boy because…because I didn’t know if that was okay with you, you know?” The fact that there was still literally no reaction to the confession of his feelings was really worrying him. All he was getting was questions.

“Both?”

“Yeah. I’m bisexual. Both genders are equally appealing to me. But…but right now, really all my attention has been on you. I was so jealous when you went out with Alicia but I didn’t want to get in the way.”

“Bisexual,” Joseph whispered with scrunched brows as if he had just made the greatest discovery. “You like boys. And you like girls…” Joseph’s breathing starting getting a little heavy which Emilio thought was weird but then he noticed something more important.

The tears.

“You like boys,” his friend whispered again. “But you’re perfect.”

“Huh?” he asked in confusion, his panic dying down a bit from this. “What do you mean?”

“You’re perfect, Emilio. But you like boys.”

“Okay…” He needed a better explanation than that.

Looking so horribly confused, Joseph wiped away some tears and explained “You can’t be a mistake because you’re perfect how you are. So if you’re not a mistake then…if you’re not a mistake then that means liking boys is okay.”

Emilio cocked his head as he tried to catch on to what was being said. “Nobody is a mistake, Joseph. And we’re all perfect the way we are. I think you’re the most amazing perfect in the entire world. And yeah, liking boys _is_ okay.”

Once more with wide eyes, Joseph asked “It’s okay?”

“Yeah,” Emilio smiled reassuringly. At least now he knew he’d at least still get to keep his friend even if he wouldn’t be his boyfriend. One worry at least off his heart. “Of course it’s okay. My dad says you have to listen to your heart and that God made everyone perfect the way they are. My heart has been telling me for years that I love you. And…and now I’m telling you.”

“Your dad?” Joseph said in complete shock. “H-He knows you like boys?”

“Of course. My mom, my sisters, my grandma. They all know.” His extended family didn’t know but since they were in Connecticut and Puerto Rico, that wasn’t his problem. He could care less.

Joseph hesitantly walked closer, an inch barely between them, his beautiful brown eyes staring into Emilio’s like he held the answer for everything. “I…Emilio, I’m…” Biting down hard on his beautiful lip, Joseph finally whispered “Emilio, I-I like boys too. I’m g-gay.”

His immediate response was excitement but then he thought about the way his friend just said it. The heaviness of it. And then there was something else. “But…you dated Alicia.”

“I didn’t love her,” he replied quickly. “Didn’t…didn’t really like her beyond friends actually. And I know that makes me sound like such an asshole b-but…I had to be with a girl.”

“But…you’re gay. You just said so. Why do you have to be with a girl?” He’d think on his friend using his sister later. Maybe trip him during soccer or something.

The tears welled even more and Joseph whispered shakily “Because I can’t be with a boy. It’s sick and gross and wrong. I’m a disgusting mistake.”

Emilio could literally feel himself jerk back in surprise from the words flowing from his friend’s mouth. “Joseph, don’t be silly.” Grabbing Joseph’s hands firmly in his, Emilio swore “You are not a disgusting nasty dirty mistake for liking boys. For being gay. That’s what makes you even more perfect than I already knew you were.”

With his tears running down his cheeks, Joseph replied “My mom said so.”

Now he was really in for a heart attack. Mrs. Kavinsky thought like that? Emilio always had a high opinion of her but right now it just went down by more than half. “She told you that you’re a nasty mistake?”

Shaking his head, Joseph said “She said gays are. That it’s wrong for boys to like boys or girls to like girls. I’ve never told her how I actually feel but I…I think she knows anyways. We don’t talk about it though. Never ever. But…but if your dad says it’s okay and…a-and you say it’s okay then…”

“Then it’s okay,” Emilio affirmed. “Joseph, it’s perfectly okay to like boys. It’s o-kay. You’re gay and that is a beautiful thing. Don’t be ashamed of it.”

“It’s okay,” Joseph said softly staring at the floor, sounding so horribly lost.

“Completely.”

Picking up his head, Joseph took a deep breath and stared with firm eyes at Emilio. “It’s okay. I’m gay and that’s okay. It’s o-fucking-kay.”

“Damn straight,” Emilio smiled.

“I’ve never said that out loud.”

Pulling Joseph into a hug, Emilio murmured “And now you have. You’re gay and it’s okay, Joseph. Don’t let anyone make you believe otherwise, you hear me? Those people are just gross homophobes.”

His friend pulled back a little but left his arms looped around Emilio. “I don’t know what that means.”

Surprise filled him because Joseph was a homophobe to himself but he explained “It’s a horrible person, a horrible stupid human being who thinks homosexuality is gross. They’re just intolerant disgusting people who like to judge.”

“So…my parents.”

“Uh…pretty much, yeah.” Emilio knew that if Mrs. Kavinsky felt it was gross, there was no way Mr. Kavinsky didn’t. “But don’t ever listen to them because they’re wrong.”

Joseph fell back into Emilio’s hug and sighed. They were like that for a few minutes before Joseph started to shake. That was concerning. “Joseph?”

Separating again, Emilio saw Joseph was crying again but…

He was laughing?

With the most beautiful smile Emilio had ever seen, tears streaming down his face, Joseph laughed “I feel like thousands of pounds just lifted off my shoulders. A-All these years I’ve b-been trying to smother away my feelings, lie to m-myself and say I wasn’t gay and s-swear I’d try again w-with another girl. All these h-horrible y-years, I’ve been trying to ungay myself. But I don’t h-have to anymore. B-Because it’s okay. I-I’m not one huge disgusting sin.”

“You sure as hell aren’t,” Emilio agreed with a soft smile on his face. “You’re perfect that way you are.”

Wiping his tears and smiling even bigger, Joseph proclaimed “I’m just Joseph Kavinsky. Joseph Kavinsky who loves boys. Joseph Kavinsky who loves his best friend more than anyone.”

His heart caught in his throat as he whispered hoarsely “Loves?”

Grabbing Emilio’s face firmly, Joseph repeated “Loves.” Then he kissed him.

And it was nothing like what Emilio had done. It was fierce and he could literally feel Joseph’s emotions through the way he moved his lips. Joseph sucked on Emilio’s bottom lip and his tongue started prodding, wanting more.

Very happily, Emilio opened his mouth and invited the most amazing person in.

A small little moan escaped Joseph’s lips and if that wasn’t a turn on, then nothing ever would be. Because holy hell, Emilio loved that sound and worked hard to earn another one as they kissed so harshly, they were out of breath in seconds.

Giving themselves a chance to breath, Emilio gasped out “So…you’ll go out with me? This whole thing was meant so I could ask you out.”

“Oh God fucking yes,” Joseph laughed as he pulled Emilio in again, mauling his mouth. Before Emilio could really focus his efforts again, Joseph moved away an inch and added “I’m Joseph Kavinsky with the most amazing boyfriend in the world.”

A huge grin erupted on his face despite not being able to feel his lips. “Guess you never thought you’d say that, huh?”

“Not in a million years. But I’m here saying it after tasting Emilio Vidal – the sexiest amazing guy in the world.” A huge laugh erupted and with eyes shining, Joseph smiled “I’m here saying it.”

His face dropped for a second causing Emilio to worry. “What?”

“We’re doing this and I’m definitely not going to regret it but…it needs to stay secret.”

Emilio didn’t like secrets. “Why secret?”

The face that Joseph wore when it was a ‘duh’ moment appeared. “My parents, Emilio. My mom would die from a heart attack and my dad would probably beat the shit out of me.”

“Beat the…” His heart stopped at a realization. The heavy implication in those words. “Joseph, does your dad hit you?” It wasn’t something he had noticed and he’d never seen bruises on his frie- _boyfriend_ but you never knew. There were times when they were still fresh friends where Emilio always swore Joseph was afraid of Mr. Kavinsky. And what about those times he got in trouble and seemed depressed?

Was someone Emilio thought was really cool actually an abuser?

Eyes going wide in seconds from dropping the hint, Joseph quickly said “No, no. I was just, you know, using a figure of speech. Don’t be stupid.”

The answer was far too quick. “He hits you. Why haven’t you ever told me?”

“Stop. You’re ruining our afterglow. Just let it go, please.”

“Joseph-”

“Please.”

It was against every bone in his body but he decided to let it go for now. “Okay but only for now.” Joseph looked slightly relieved. “I don’t wanna mess up our awesome afterglow.”

Smiling again, his boyfriend replied “I think it’s awesome too. I can’t even remember when I was this happy before.”

Emilio’s own smile grew from this revelation. He had made Joseph happier than he had ever been. “I know, I know, I’m amazing.” Leaning in for one last kiss before they went back downstairs, he whispered “I love you, Joseph.”

Eagerly accepting the kiss, Joseph pulled away less than an inch and whispered against Emilio’s lips “Goddammit, Emilio Vidal, I fucking love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')  
> Стринка (strínka) – a father’s brother’s wife


	145. Chapter 144

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> Why is Emilio so disliked? All these months and I still don't get it O.o  
> Anyways, we're coming up to vacation time on...Sunday (I think. Too lazy to check) It's got a nice mix of humor I think and some nasty hate speech. Hopefully it's interesting to y'all.
> 
> P.S. Hatty your Snapshot is still coming, no worries
> 
> Enjoy :)
> 
> _"Oh my God, I’m calling you pookie!”_

Raul watched carefully as first Joseph came down then Emilio after him. He knew exactly what had been happening when they both disappeared and he prayed a thousand times over in the twenty minutes they had been gone that it went okay. The last thing in the world he wanted was Emilio hurt.

Sadness on his child didn’t look good.

But that definitely wasn’t what Emilio wore. _You’re so freaking obvious…_

Joseph’s face was blank but he had always had a good poker face. Emilio, however, was practically glowing. In truth, Raul felt like maybe Joseph would agree; the boy hid himself well but Raul had always sensed something under there in his interactions with Emilio.

He must have said yes or Emilio wouldn’t look so sunshine-y.

Standing up like he was going to the bathroom, he passed Joseph and pushed Emilio back with him with a finger to the shoulder. No one was paying attention except probably Joseph because they were all lost in their laughter and conversations.

Pulling Emilio into the bathroom, he knew he had to make this quick so someone wouldn’t think it was weird. Mainly Ivo. “Wash your face. Cold water.”

“Huh?” his son said in confusion, flicking a quick glance in the mirror to see his face. “Pretty sure there’s nothing on it.”

“Besides for the fact that you look like someone who had sex for the first time?”

Flushing a heavy red, Emilio opened the faucet and set it to cold. “Yeah that didn’t happen.”

“Obviously,” he muttered. “But that’s how incredibly obvious you look right now. I take it that it went well?” A huge smile covered Emilio’s face as he washed it. “That’s a yes then.”

Shutting off the water and then drying his face, Emilio asked “Do my lips look obvious?”

“Should be fine,” Raul sighed as he gave them a once over. “So official then?”

The happiness was still there but it looked like Emilio’s general look so it would pass in front of everyone. “Yup. I got me a boyfriend, papa. And he is a hell of a kisser. No wonder Alicia liked it so much.”

Laughter escaped him. “Okay then. I’m happy for you, mijo.”

A tiny shadow crossed over Emilio’s face when he was about to open the door. “But…but no one could know, okay? Just you.”

“Reason?” He tried not to show his surprise. Emilio had been wanting this for years not to have to hide his happiness.

“Joseph said so. Um…he…he lives with homophobes, papi. He doesn’t want them to find out so telling no one at all is best.”

Homophobes. Wonderful. He had guessed that maybe Ivo was the type but he really hadn’t wanted it to be true. Vesela surprised him though. She always seemed incredibly open minded to everything. “Okay. Then this is a happy secret for the three of us.”

Smiling as he opened the door, Emilio nodded before he walked back out, Raul following him as they went to everyone sitting in the living room. His son sat beside his new boyfriend in the normal way they always would and Raul knew Emilio would keep the secret for a lifetime.

There was no worry there.

Pushing Alondra off the seat he had vacated, he stole his chair back to the shriek of his little girl. Typical. The girl would probably burn through her vocal cords one day. “It was mine first.”

Shoving herself into his lap, she replied “Still mine.”

“Sharing is nice, mija. We can share?”

Sinking herself into his chest, she mumbled “Share is good.”

Ivo came walking from wherever he had been with a yellow envelope in his hand. Stopping beside the couch which Nikol, Vesela, Anka, and Linda had shoved themselves on, he said “So, I have an announcement.”

“Please don’t say you guys’ are pregnant,” Yulian replied from where he sat beside Andrey on a couch and with Timotei laying on a blanket by his feet. His bad leg was stretched out but every so often he had to flex it a little to keep it from cramping. The youngest Simeonov enjoyed trying to catch his father’s leg. “You’re too old for babies.”

His friend actually looked horrified. “God fuck no.” Panic over took his features as he quickly looked to Vesela. “Fuck no?”

Rolling her eyes, she agreed “Fuck no. No bun in the oven.”

“For sure?”

“For sure, asshole,” Nikol sneered. They were rarely friendly but Raul had to admit that he was surprised by the amount of venom she expressed.

Looking incredibly relieved and ignoring Nikol’s wrath, he turned back to Yulian. “Why would you say that? Don’t jinx, fuckwad. And for that matter, I’m younger than you and if I wanted a baby, I could easily make one, thank you.”

“Please don’t,” Joseph laughed. “After fourteen years, I don’t want a sibling. I’m happy how we are.”

The happiness in the boy could easily be attributed to the fact that it was his birthday but Raul knew it was for something else. The laugh was lighter, the smile carefree.

In all the years he had known Joseph, Raul had never seen him so happy. So relaxed.

It was a beautiful look on the child. He felt a sense of pride in that Emilio was the reason Joseph had happiness written all over him.

“I don’t want another child, so we’re good,” Ivo snorted. “Anyways, announcement that has nothing to do with babies.” He held up his envelope. “This envelope.”

“It’s the most beautiful envelope I’ve ever seen!” Alicia joked, “Never ever have I seen a more stunning piece of paper than that one!”

“Ha, ha. So funny. Again, anyways, this here is a big deal.” He handed the envelope to Joseph. “Open it up and read it for everyone.”

Taking the envelope with a curious look on his face, Joseph undid the metal clasp and opened the flap. Sticking his hand in he pulled out a stack of papers.

Raul knew what those were.

“JFK to SAN? Oh wait… John F. Kennedy to San Diego International... These are plane tickets?” Joseph murmured as he fanned out the pile. A huge smile covered his face as he asked “Is this our vacation?”

“Yes!” Anka shouted jumping from her seat. “California, here I come!”

“Wait, seriously?” Andrey said as he slid off the couch and sat on the other side of Joseph, taking one of the tickets. “No way!”

“Happy birthday to you,” Ivo grinned, “And you’re welcome to everyone else.”

Yulian looked shocked. “You seriously bought everyone tickets to San Diego?”

Shrugging, Ivo replied “Yeah. I mean, I know money is a stretch right now because of the rebuilding but I think we all could use a vacation. Some relaxation. Lubomir and Asen will look after everything while we’re gone.”

“Everyone includes us, right?” Maria asked in hope. Every time Raul looked at her, he couldn’t believe this grown woman was his little girl. Currently, she was working and saving up for community college. Raul had told her they could do loans and he’d deal with it but she insisted she wanted to do it herself. A responsible beautiful young lady was more than he could have ever hoped for in his rearing skills.

The only thing that dug in him was her current boyfriend and the way she kept swearing he was the one.

Because while the man had looks, he was a deadbeat as far as deadbeats came.

“Yes,” Ivo snorted. “Duh. It’d be pretty shitty of me to rub it in and then say you guys don’t get to go.”

“You’d so do that,” Raul laughed. “Don’t deny it.”

“To you maybe. Not your kids.”

“I knew you were awesome,” Emilio said with a smile as he read one of the tickets. “There’s a mix of first class and coach. Lemme guess, adults get first class?”

Taking Andrey’s seat beside Yulian, Ivo responded “Duh. We are old exhausted people who shouldn’t have to suffer.”

First class? Damn. That was something Raul had never experienced. “You’ve never even experienced an airplane before.”

“Well, yeah, but you said it’s horrible and so did Yulian so why subject myself to it? First class seemed nice.”

“How much did you spend?” Those tickets had to be extremely expensive for the amount of people they were. “I want to pay for something.”

Exasperation covered Ivo’s face. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Let me-”

“No. Now shut up and accept my generosity.”

“I thought you didn’t want California?” Yulian asked curiously.

Shrugging, the mobster replied “I was gonna do Miami but then San Diego seemed nice. We could use some cross country, I guess. And they have-”

“Sea World!” Joseph interrupted with huge eyes. “And the San Diego Zoo and that aquarium!”

“There you go,” Ivo laughed. “That was why. The beach is close by too and there’s parks and museums and whatever. Seemed like a catch.”

Yulian’s eyes lit up in excitement. “We should drive down to Tijuana.”

That actually sounded really good. “It’s not too far I think.”

“Like a half hour maybe. Me, you, and this asshole,” he answered while shoving Ivo. “I always wanted to go drinking there. I actually had a spring break trip planned for the year I joined up but yeah… Obviously didn’t work out.”

“Mexico?” Ivo asked with a scrunched look on his face. “Doesn’t sound very exciting.”

“That’s because you’re an idiot who doesn’t know better.”

“I want to go,” Maria said in hope.

Claudia looked like she would suffocate Maria with a throw pillow. “To Mexico to go drinking?”

“I’m twenty-one and plus, the drinking age there is eighteen.”

“Not happening,” both he and Claudia said at the same time.

Maria looked depressed but stayed quiet. Emilio pulled out another sheet of paper and asked “How are we going to divide the hotel rooms? I claim one for me and Joseph; you guys deal with yourselves.”

Joseph’s eyes lit up in excitement but he remained focused on the paper he was looking at. Having a secret relationship wasn’t the easiest thing in the world and if they had their own room, they’d have all the privacy they wanted.

Maybe Raul would put in a word in their favor.

“I don’t know if kids having their own hotel room is a good idea,” Yulian said, slight worry crossing his features.

“They can handle themselves,” Raul shrugged nonchalantly while Emilio threw him a grateful glance. “Plus, they’d have more fun that way. The girls can divvy up rooms between each other too. Then us adults have no headaches of children. Except you.”

“Timotei is the quietest baby in the world, jerk,” Yulian laughed while the son in question chewed on a toy and drooled. He was probably the drooliest baby Raul had ever met. The boy wore a bib _all the time._ A bib that was changed at least three times a day, if not more. “And should there be the need of getting some, I’ll ship him to Vesela and Ivo.”

“No, you sure as hell won’t,” Ivo disdained while Nikol laughed. “You can be sex deprived. No one told you to keep making babies. Go get your balls removed or something.”

“I happen to like my balls, thank you.”

Cutting into the banter with a roll of her eyes, Vesela said “Okay people. Children.”

“It’s okay, mayko,” Joseph laughed as he put the tickets back into the envelope. “Us guys understand how much we happen to like our equipment. They’re important.”

Raul wanted to tell Emilio to stop goddamn blushing but there was no way he could. He knew exactly where his son’s mind had gone. Claudia had given Emilio the ‘sex talk’ although Raul had wanted to do it. It was easier for a boy to hear it from another guy, not his mother. She had very adamantly refused.

_“Who’s the nurse and who’s the detective here?”_

He hadn’t even been allowed in the room, that’s how much she wouldn’t let him do it. When he had gone in once she was finally finished from what was probably a very explicit informative lesson, Emilio’s face was beyond red.

_“I got both versions,” Emilio laughed as Raul got on the bed. “You know, girl/guy and guy/guy. Aren’t I lucky? The guy/guy version was very…detailed. And informative. Not that the other wasn’t but she went the extra mile about guys and…uh…anal sex.”_

_“Fantastic having a mother who’s a nurse, huh?” Raul snorted in amusement. His guess was that Claudia was thinking that since Emilio was currently obsessed with Joseph, gay sex would come first._

_Another laugh although his face was still as bright as a tomato, Emilio replied “Apparently, yeah.”_

“Men,” Nikol muttered.

Grabbing the paper that listed the hotel rooms, Ivet notified “Me and Alicia and Linda call a room for ourselves.

Anka looked annoyed. “Way to leave me out, jerk.”

Despite how much Andrey adored Ivet, he looked mad on behalf of his sister. “Messed up, Ivet.”

Surprisingly, Ivet actually looked embarrassed. The girl didn’t get embarrassed for anything.

And yet she was from Andrey’s disdain. Maybe she was finally noticing him? It had taken a lot for her to dig herself out of her grief but she had done it and closed the chapter with her parents. She looked forward to the future now.

“Me and you can share, Anka,” Maria offered while playing with the necklace the deadbeat had given her. “And we’ll take Alondra and Albena too.”

“Yes!” Alondra exclaimed happily from his lap. “I get to be with the big girls.” Titling her head to look up into Raul’s face, she said “Told you I was a big girl.”

“You did, didn’t you,” he laughed. “I was wrong to doubt your knowledge.

“Do I get my own room then?” Andrey asked in excitement and hope. “A whole one to myself?”

Yulian, typical Yulian, didn’t seem to like the idea. He looked, of course, worried. “You can just share with Joseph and Emilio.”

Emilio didn’t like that idea if his disappointed look was anything to go by. It disappeared in seconds but it had still been there. Joseph was still making sure to focus his looks on being blank but Raul knew that he probably wasn’t happy either. And he understood; how were they supposed to eat each other’s faces if Andrey was there?

But somehow, Andrey seemed to understand as well. Raul didn’t know how or why but Andrey seemed intent on making sure his cousin and Emilio had their own room. “I’d prefer to be alone. I don’t mind; I’ll get a whole room, bathroom, and tv to myself. Sounds good to me.”

“You sure?”

“Yup.”

“Okay I guess,” Yulian shrugged. “Whatever you want.”

“When do we leave?” Vesela asked, “You can’t just throw this on me out of nowhere.”

“It’s a surprise,” Ivo snorted, “Surprises get thrown out of nowhere. But we leave in two weeks and spend a month. More than enough time from now to get yourself ready and whatever.”

A thought struck him. Did he even have enough vacation days to spend a month? He’d have to check and cross his fingers. Raul didn’t use them often so he knew he had to have them saved up. From Claudia’s face, she was also thinking about her own days.

Fingers crossed they were both good.

California.

It had to be beautiful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')  
> Стринка (strínka) – a father’s brother’s wife


	146. Chapter 145

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> I want you all to remember the convo between Joseph and Ivo right now. Certain parts are important...well more foreshadowyish in a way. Foreboding?
> 
> Ain't got nothing to say except that I've hit writer's block for the past 2 weeks and I'm going insaaaannne. I've been working on the same chpt all this time... It's just like grrrr haha. That's all I can say. It's just not working out. Like at all. When you guys reach it, I'm sorry in advance because it probs won't be that great. The poor thing is so chewed up...
> 
> Enjoy and I'll see you guys Sunday!
> 
> _“Oh dang, dude, I heard that thing kills your balls.”_

Despite it being a constant longing, sleep wasn’t even close to being in his thoughts right now.

All he wanted to do was stare up at the ceiling and reflect on the insanity of his day. Fourteen had definitely turned out to be the best birthday yet.

Who knew? Maybe it’d be his best year yet.

Because now he had a boyfriend.

A fucking boyfriend.

Him. Joseph Kavinsky.

A boyfriend. And not just any guy but _Emilio_.

The ultimate bromilio was his.

How insane was that?

In-sane. Completely.

Alicia and Ivet were good kissers, that went without having to be said. Alicia was even a little better than Emilio although Joseph figured that his friend just needed a little more practice. But both Alicia and Ivet couldn’t do what Emilio could.

And that was give him the shivers. That sparkling feeling he had been searching for in a kiss.

Emilio held it.

_Shutting the door behind them, Joseph stepped over to his boyfriend and pressed a soft peck on his lips. “Helllooo.”_

_With a laugh, Emilio replied “Pretty sure I just saw you a second ago.”_

_Crowding closer and feeling lighter than he ever had, Joseph flushed their bodies together – happily noting that yes, he really was taller – and kissed the most amazing boy again. This time much more hungry but just as soft._

_Just as amazing._

_This was better than anything he could have ever dreamed._

_Pulling away, Emilio murmured with a smile on his face “I have to leave, remember?”_

_Humming as he kissed Emilio to shut him up, he reminded after a minute “You forgot something up here, remember? We can’t seem to find it though.”_

_“Riiight,” his boyfriend whispered back between kisses. “It seems to keep eluding us. We should keep looking.”_

_“Agreed,” Joseph breathed before mauling Emilio’s mouth._

How was this his life? Just this morning he had been wishing and now he had. Maybe he didn’t have the acceptance and no secrecy but he had the boyfriend. And not just any boyfriend. He had _Emilio_.

Emilio.

It was obvious that Mr. Vidal knew. How he knew, Joseph didn’t know but he was happy that at least someone got to share their happiness with them. When Emilio had said his dad knew that he liked boys, his entire mind had been blown. Raul Vidal, the former gangster, was okay with having a son who liked boys? And was happy for him?

More insanity.

Emilio admitting that he was bisexual even though Joseph didn’t even know that was a thing?

Mind. Blown.

The most perfect boy in the world and he liked boys? Joseph thought for sure that he was the only one with the gross sinful thoughts. _Former thoughts._ But that wasn’t it. Because those thoughts? Those wishes and yearnings?

They weren’t sinful. They weren’t gross. They weren’t a mistake.

 _He_ wasn’t a mistake.

It was okay. It was okay to have those thoughts, it was okay to be this way.

Loving a boy wasn’t wrong.

Never had he been this happy before. This relieved, this light.

The feeling was the most amazing one in the world.

Love was fucking awesome. He just felt like suffocating in it or something. And damn, sharing kisses with Emilio sure helped with that.

Definitely helped.

Joseph was a little worried though. What if someone found out? Actually, he should be more specific with himself.

What if his father found out?

Oh, he was so dead then. It hadn’t been a joke when he said he’d be beaten. Although he really wished he hadn’t dropped that line to Emilio. Just because he said he’d let it go for now didn’t mean his friend actually would. In typical Emilio style, his friend would be blunt and just straight up and ask again. Not only that but he’d analyze every interaction that Joseph and his father had.

“Come in,” he murmured when there was a knock at his door. His father poked his head in a second later and came in, shutting the door behind himself. Walking over, he plopped himself in bed beside Joseph. “Shouldn’t you be sleeping?”

“Likewise,” his father yawned as he made himself comfortable.

“Something up,” he yawned himself because those stupid things were contagious.

Closing his eyes and curling under the sheet, his father murmured “No.”

“Uh…okay…”

“Does something have to be up for me to hang out with you?”

“Obviously not but we did spend the entire day together and also it’s bedtime soooo…”

He stared in surprise as his father laced his fingers in his and held his hand tight. Eyes flicking open, his father murmured “I love you, Joseph.”

 _Not at all odd_ … Not the proclamation of love, just the situation in which it was said. “I love you too,” Joseph replied, clutching that hand tight. “You sure everything is okay?”

“Just fine,” his father smiled. “I just…needed to say it I guess.”

“You said it this morning.”

“Can I not say it more than once?”

Turning to his side so he wasn’t talking to the ceiling, Joseph replied “Of course you can. But you have to admit, this is a little weird.”

A small chuckle slipped from his father before he responded “I guess you have a point. But I just want you to always remember that. Me and my dad had a shitty relationship and I like that we have better than that. That we can just sit here and enjoy being in each other’s company. He and I never seemed to manage that well. It always started with him nitpicking about stupid shit and then ended with me blowing my top and getting my ass whooped.”

Joseph didn’t want to say that that was actually how his father was years ago when he was younger. Always saying Joseph was too weak or a little bitch. The only difference was that Joseph would end up crying instead of yelling but the end was the same.

He’d get his ass whooped.

“Was he like Damyan?” Joseph sometimes still got chills just from saying the stupid man’s name aloud.

His father thought for a minute before he murmured “Yes and no. It sort of just depended. Although, as surprising as this may seem, Damyan never hit his kids. I was always jealous of that. But he did love squashing dreams like my father, so there’s that.” He let out a snort and shook his head. “The last conversation I had with my father was the day before he died. And it wasn’t even conversation; it was pure yelling and screaming on how much I really didn’t want to be his heir. I told him how much I hated him and how horrible he was and swore I’d never speak to him again.” Silence followed before his father whispered “And I never did.”

“Do you regret it?”

Taking his hand back and running it through his hair, his father replied “I don’t know. Kind of. I mean, I didn’t want him to die but…my feelings are important just like his were. A parent isn’t an all-powerful person who knows everything and is always right. Kids sometimes know better and should always be able to give their opinion.” Looking to Joseph, he asked “I do that, right? Let you have your say?”

“Yeah,” Joseph shrugged. “You generally listen to what I have to say.”

The man looked relieved. “I don’t want to be him. I know I’m not perfect but I try. I want us to have a good relationship for the rest of the life God blesses us with. Father and son stick together, you know?”

That was something he’d really like too. But… “What if you get mad at me for something and never want to talk to me again?”

Laughter actually happened from the question to his surprise. “Don’t be stupid, Joseph. What the hell could you possibly do that would make me that mad at you to that sort of extent? Or even vice versa? Never talk to him, he says.”

He wished that there was a way where he could test the waters and see how his father felt about gay people. His mother had said never mention it so that meant the man was a homophobe but Joseph wanted to hear the words himself. _What if you knew that I was gay? What would you do?_ “Just…saying. It can happen. You never know. There are lots of people who have parents who won’t talk to them or, as you said, vice versa.”

“I hope to God me and you will never reach that point then. And we never will. Stop being so God fuck depressing.” Sitting up suddenly, his father asked “What do you want for your fifteenth?”

“Tatko, I literally just turned fourteen. We have a whole year for that.”

“I know but I want to make your fifteenth epic.”

“Why?” he laughed. “You can just save the epicness for my sixteenth. Get me my Evo.”

“Even better,” his father said in an excited voice, “I’ll get it for your fifteenth. That way when you practice for driving, you practice in your car.”

Eagerness flooded through him as he sat up to stare at his ecstatic father. “For reals?”

“For damn reals, homeboy. Promise.”

 

 

“So.”

“Soooo,” Joseph smiled as he tossed the ball.

“I think,” Emilio started after missing the baseball with his swing. “That you gave me a sucky pitch on purpose, jerk.”

Clutching his heart in mock shock, he replied “Baby, I’d never!”

Raucous laughter exploded from Emilio. They’d been boyfriend’s for exactly three days and they were the best three days of Joseph’s life even though this was the first day since his birthday that’d he’d seen his boyfriend. School always knew how to take time away from the important things.

He just felt so unimaginably happy. Like all the time.

Happy.

It was amazing.

“What,” Joseph laughed, not able to stop himself from catching the contagiousness of them. “You don’t like your pet name? What do you prefer? Babe, honeybun,” he caught on his laughs as he added “p-pookie! Oh my God, I’m calling you pookie!”

“No! Don’t you dare!” Emilio tried to say in a firm angry voice but it was so broken by laughs that it definitely didn’t work. “P-Please don’t! I’ll die of both embarrassment and a heart attack.”

“Just go get the ball,” he snorted in amusement while shaking his head. “Move it.”

“Wow, he’s one of those pushy ones, huh?” Emilio replied as he walked to grab the ball from between the grass. “There’s always one of those in a relationship.”

 _Yeah, my father._ “So you excited for our upcoming vacation?”

With a roll of his eyes and a toss of the ball – which Joseph of course caught, his boyfriend answered “Oh noooo, I’m hating just the thought of going on an airplane, traveling to California, exploring San Diego, and I absolutely abhor the thought of sharing a room with you. _Only_ you.”

“Okay, Mr. Sarcasm,” Joseph said in humor, getting ready to pitch another ball. Coming to the park was a brilliant idea. They were able to talk freely without worrying about being overheard. “ _Abhor_.”

“It was a stupid question and you know it. As if I wouldn’t absolutely love the thought of having an entire room with you for a month. Especially because you’re my amazing significant other. Stupid but amazing.”

Joseph made a face of sadness. Overly dramatic face of sadness. “Ouch, pookie. That hu-” He lost his words when Emilio suddenly slammed into him, knocking them both to the floor in laughter.

“Don’t make me murder you,” Emilio threatened even though there was a huge dorky smile on his face.

Breathing hard from more than just being knocked over, Joseph whispered “Depends how you’re gonna do it. Does it include suffocating me in kisses? I’m down with that one.”

The dorky smile became laughter as Emilio’s body shook above him from the force of his laughs and his head over Joseph’s shoulder, barely touching the grass. Which was nice, the laughter was fantastic because Joseph loved the way it sounded.

But the shaking was rubbing somewhere which was now doing something in a public place that Joseph didn’t want it to. “Emilio, get off, please.”

Either Emilio was getting hard too or he felt Joseph’s through their clothes because his friend bounced off in seconds, face flaming hotter than the sun. Clearing his throat, he said “Uh, sorry.” He blushed even harder and mumbled “Forgot that happens.”

He wasn’t sorry it happened; just that they were in public. It happened with Alicia and Joseph really liked what some friction did. Sitting up and tilting his head to the side with a cheeky smile while leaning on his arms, he noted “I love when that happens. I’m not one to skip out on a ‘session’ by myself. Bet they’re going to be fantastic with you. Me and Alicia only got as far as some over my clothes rubbing.”

Never in his life had Joseph seen someone turn that red. Even his mother, who blushed so easily, had never turned like that. Maybe because Joseph had grown up with him and his father having sex talks like it was natural conversation that talking like this wasn’t a problem for him.

Because obviously it was for Emilio.

Sitting down beside Joseph and fiddling with his fingers in nerves, Emilio mumbled “I’ve never done that.”

“You’ve never jerked off?” Maybe Joseph was an early bloomer in things except height. “Not once?” His boyfriend shook his head, still looking embarrassed. “Huh…how come?”

Eyes wide and looking around them, he replied “You really want to have this conversation in the middle of a park?”

“Well no one is around us and as far as I know, there’s no one lurking around trees. I’m not judging or anything; just curious.”

Shrugging, Emilio answered “Don’t know. Just never done it. I usually just think of something gross or take a cold shower. I hope you wash your hands regularly by the way.”

“You’re an idiot,” Joseph laughed. “No, Emilio, I touch my dick, finish, and then just wipe it on my shirt and move on with my day.” He raised his hand and wiped it on Emilio’s shoulder. “You have now been contaminated with Joseph dick germs and bodily fluids and now that the sentence left my mouth, I realize how idiotic it sounds.” Emilio snorted and fell into a fit of laughter, lying down on the grass. “Yeah, really stupid, I know.”

“Oh no, utterly brilliant,” Emilio continued to laugh.

Rolling his eyes in his amusement, Joseph checked around them to make sure they weren’t near any other park goers before he leaned over and grabbed that mouth for himself. It was probably the most delicious thing he had ever tasted.

Pulling away just a bit, Joseph whispered against Emilio’s lips “When we get our own room in San Diego, I’m going to maul your mouth to the point where you’re never going to talk again, bromilio.” He accentuated this with a lick over those amazing lips before fully pulling away and sitting up, acting like nothing just happened.

Following suit, albeit a little more breathless, Emilio murmured “And how do you know that that’s not what I’m going to do to you? Maybe I’m more stronger and pushier so I win? Don’t doubt me now, Mr. Kavinsky. I am a force to be reckoned with. I’ll take you down.”

“Pft, in your dreams maybe.”

“Who said that even more doesn’t happen in my dreams?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')  
> Стринка (strínka) – a father’s brother’s wife


	147. Chapter 146

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> Vacation time! There's a Snapshot that goes with this chpt. Read it afterwards if you want. It's actually the first Emilio Snapshot too. Poor kid get's stuck in the bathroom. It's short and sweet.  
> (Hatty, your Snapshot comes when they come back from vacation)
> 
> That's all I've got to say besides that writing block is still, well, blocking and I'm about ready to die from it. Hopefully some juices will get flowing this week. Writing the bathroom Snapshot kinda helped out.
> 
> See y'all Tuesday and enjoy!
> 
>    
>  _"Take your fairy asses back to your room and fuck each other until hell takes you both.”_

Joseph threw his backpack up onto the belt and quickly put his shoes and hat in the provided bin after his mother. He hadn’t bothered putting anything in his pockets before they came because then he would have just had to worry about emptying them out.

Walking into John F. Kennedy airport in New York had been an experience to say the least. He’d never actually been in an airport before; it was huge.

And security made him nervous.

He, personally, shouldn’t be because he had nothing on him or with him that would violate airline security rules. Joseph knew his father wasn’t stupid to carry anything with him but it was that stupid man that he was worried about.

The security guy gestured Joseph to walk forward through the machine after his mother went through. Going in then out without a beeping noise, Joseph breathed a sigh of relief as he walked to his stuff to slip them back on.

“One second, kid.”

Pushing reverse on that sigh, Joseph turned and nervously smiled. “Yeah?”

“You’re picked for search,” the man replied as he gestured Joseph’s father through the machine. At those words, his entire insides melted into a puddle of worry. “Random search.”

His father looked annoyed as he grabbed his shoes from the bin he had placed his own things in. “He’s a child. The fuck random search do you need to do?”

“Random,” the guy emphasized as he waited for tetíncho Yulian to limp through. His leg had been bothering him for the past week and he had taken to using his fancy walking stick/cane thing again despite how much he hated it. Obviously, the cane was metal so it couldn’t be used as he hopped through without a beep. “Stand to the side, please.”

Looking annoyed but complying, his father dragged Joseph to the side with him. His mother looked worried but Joseph felt like it more had to do with the fact that her husband might blow on someone. Grabbing his backpack, she handed it to him and placed a kiss on his head. Joseph wanted to roll his eyes because he wasn’t a baby who needed comfort but he let it go. “See you on the other side,” she winked with a smile.

Smiling back, he and his father waited until another security person showed up as his mother went off with the rest of their group. “Pat down or machine?” the lady asked his father.

One thing Joseph hated was when people touched him. “Machine,” he said quickly. “No touching, please.”

It sucked being a minor where people thought you couldn’t make your own decisions. The woman looked to his father, brows raised, asking for his approval. “Machine,” his father muttered, annoyed from the whole situation.

“Okay, follow me, please.” They walked a little ways to another metal detector looking thing. Except this one was bigger and Joseph knew was used more like an x-ray machine for clothes. “Shoes off and step in with your hands raised.”

Sighing and thankful that they had come early to the airport, Joseph slipped off his shoes with the opposite foot for each and took off his hat too. Stepping in, he raised his hands up and waited for this ridiculousness to end. As if he was hiding weapons or drugs on him.

Fucking ridiculous.

When she said he was finished, he and his father watched and waited as she searched his backpack. Finding nothing suspicious – _obviously_ – the woman sent them on their way. She wasn’t rude but she wasn’t polite either. Sheesh.

“Fucking stupid,” his father snorted as they walked to their gate to meet everyone else. “Random search, he says.”

“That should’ve been you,” Joseph laughed, taking in the scenery as they walked. There were little restaurants, cafés, and shops here and there. Never having been one who could say ‘oh my God, I’m starving,’ Joseph was suddenly just that.

Well, not starving but hungry. Maybe he was just eager for the chance of buying something from the fancy looking places that were probably freakishly expensive just because of their convenience.

“I’m surprised it wasn’t.” They paused in front of the restroom, “Use it now or hold it for six hours.”

“Don’t airplanes have bathrooms?”

His father actually looked disgusted. “Yeah, but do you really want to use that? Gross, brat.”

Did he have to go? “I think I’m good,” he decided. “I can hold it if I have to go.”

Shrugging and continuing on, his father said “Your loss. You use that airplane bathroom? Scrub yourself with fucking bleach wipes or something after. Or just don’t do it at all.”

Shaking his head in amusement from the dork beside him, Joseph replied “Yessir. Noted.”

Reaching their party and taking their seats, Joseph took off his shoes since they’d be sitting here for at least a half hour. Emilio turned his head to him and asked “Did you enjoy getting felt up?”

Breaking into laughter, he snorted “No. But I didn’t anyways. I went through the magical clothes removing machine.”

“Oh dang, dude, I heard that thing kills your balls. Bad choice.”

He was sure it was a joke but Emilio had said it so seriously that Joseph was actually believing it. The idiot wasn’t even smiling either. And he _always_ smiled. His poker face sucked horribly.

Huh…

Glancing down at his crotch and then back to his boyfriend, Joseph said incredulously “Seriously?” He’d really prefer to have all his junk in working order. As stupid as it sounded, he was proud of what he packed; it was some damn nice equipment for someone who was vertically challenged. It gave Joseph hope too; since his dick was big, didn’t that mean he’d get taller? Make everything even out?

These thoughts almost made him ask his father his opinion on the matter once but Joseph stopped himself. Maybe what Joseph considered big wasn’t actually big. What was considered big anyways? Who determined these things?

The world of ‘manliness’ was so stupidly confusing.

And pretty shallow, if he was honest.

“Yeah, seriously,” Emilio answered, still looking completely somber and sincere. “It-”

“Kills all your baby making juices and makes your balls shrivel up and die in their sack!” Ivet proclaimed dramatically, turning and popping up from her seat behind them. “Oh the woes! Joseph Kavinsky has become ball-less!”

He had lost his cool the minute she had shouted baby making juices like the idiot she was. Both he and Emilio were doubled over in laughter, especially after this woman gave them looks having have heard what Ivet said. Probably the entire room had heard her exclamation, she was so annoyingly loud sometimes.

“J-Jesus, Ivet,” his father laughed from where he sat beside tetíncho Yulian. “What the fuck?”

“It’s that machine, my lord,” she smiled. “It killed all of Joseph’s manhood.” She patted Joseph ‘soothingly’ on the shoulder. “It’s okay, dear, I’m sure someone will love you without getting to enjoy your general and his two colonels.”

Joseph literally couldn’t breathe from his laughs and it didn’t look like anyone else was faring that well either. Except maybe that lady giving them stares, looking horrified. “S-Stop, you idiot,” he choked out through his laughs. “I’m g-gonna die!”

“You people are so embarrassing,” tetíncho Yulian snorted, trying to act all ‘adult.’ It didn’t work because they could all see the smile on his face and the sparkling humor in his eyes. The man was mellowing with age, thank God. “At least have manners in public.”

“Yeah, good luck getting them to do that,” Mr. Vidal said in amusement.

“Manners aren’t fun,” Ivet replied with a snort of her own. “It shouldn’t be weird to make jokes.”

“But those are sexually charged jokes,” the formerly horrified and now angry woman interrupted. “Those are incredibly rude to say in public.”

“We’ve got it under control, but thank you ma’am,” his mother replied. “Ivet will watch her humor next time. We were simply enjoying my son’s luckiness of experiencing being the subject of random searching.”

“Sooo lucky,” Joseph snorted. Turning to his mother, he asked “But seriously, does it affect me? Me and my soldier would like to be in complete working order.”

Rolling her eyes, she answered “You’re fine. Nothing wrong with either you or your dangalang.”

“Just making sure,” he responded with a chorus of laughter around him. “I haven’t had sex yet. I’ve got to try that at least once, thank you.”

The words made him stop and think. He did want to experience sex at least once. But how was he going to? Before, he would have tried his best with a girl. But now he had Emilio as a boyfriend. Joseph would never cheat in a thousand lifetimes. He had seen exactly what that does to a relationship.

What if there really was gay sex? There had to be. Ever since he and Emilio got together, Joseph realized that there had to be more gay people than just him. It had to be normal; a way that lots of people felt.

So there had to be sex.

Who to ask though?

 _Duh_ .

Emilio had to know something. He knew more than Joseph did about all this homosexuality stuff. His boyfriend just had to know if gay sex existed.

A question for when they were alone then.

Eventually the time to board came. The adults boarded first because they were fancy ass first class. They had given Maria and Alicia command over the rest of them because they were the oldest. If any of them gave trouble on the plane, they were threatened with a very boring vacation of sitting doing nothing.

Very unappealing to all of them.

Taking his seat – he was between Emilio and Andrey – Joseph made sure his bag was under the chair in front of him. He was a little nervous but he focused on staying relaxed and calm. His comfort was having Emilio with him; even Andrey.

“It’s okay,” Andrey mumbled softly in Bulgarian. Joseph almost missed it from how quiet it was.

Figuring that he was talking about the plane, Joseph shrugged and replied in English “I’ll be fine.”

Remaining in their mother language, his cousin whispered “No, I mean…I mean if you wanna hold hands or whatever. I’m literally cover the entire view from the aisle. No one can anything unless they stand over us. No worries.”

Somehow, Andrey always seemed to know things. He was like tetíncho sometimes, even if he didn’t look like him. “Are we…obvious?” Joseph murmured back, switching to Bulgarian himself.

“No. But I’m your cousin and the only person who knows how you love. I just know. Don’t worry; no one can tell you guys are any different.”

The words calmed his stomach a little and Joseph realized that he was also feeling relief. Having someone who knew on his side, from his own family, was kind of nice. There was someone who would have his back. “Okay. Uh, thanks.”

“Yup,” Andrey replied in English, flipping open an old book he had brought to pass the hours.

Turning his gaze so he could look out the window, he came face to face with his amazing boyfriend who was flicking glances between Joseph and Andrey. “Done with private conversations?”

Smiling, Joseph intertwined their fingers and leaned over Emilio so he could see out the window, viewing the tarmac before liftoff. “Maybe you need to learn Bulgarian by now.”

Holding tightly onto Joseph’s hand, Emilio snorted with humor “Maybe if you had a grandma who would teach me, I could.” It was a point of the fact that abuela was Joseph’s Spanish teacher.

Fluency got closer every time he saw her. His Spanish was good enough now where he could hold entire conversations.

And he didn’t have his father’s accent to make the words sound funny either.

“Sorry that one had a heart attack and the other an aneurism,” Joseph laughed. “I shoulda told them to last it out for Emilio, huh?” He was leaning back to his seat when there was a brief brush of lips against the tip of his ear. Even just that miniscule contact made the sparkles arise. Turning to look at Emilio, he murmured “Don’t forget what I said a couple weeks ago.”

Joseph loved the way Emilio’s pupils blew out in excitement. With a smirk, his boyfriend replied “And don’t forget how I answered. Guess we’ll find out who’s stronger, huh?”

The tingling feeling was getting stronger and it was all just from the talking which was crazy. Words sure we’re power when you were with someone you wanted. Joseph was sure his blood was flowing south. He was about to reply with some snarky response but Andrey cut in with his bored bass “I heard that if you get an erection on a plane, the altitude makes your dick sorta just shrivel. Never gets hard again.”

Both he and Emilio shared a startled glance before they turned and stared at Andrey who was still engrossed in his book, ready for takeoff with his seatbelt already done. “Seriously?” Emilio asked with one raised brow. It couldn’t actually be true, could it?

Andrey’s face was still stony before he turned to them and smiled huge. “No, you idiots. But I signed up for hand holding, not some verbal foreplay. Keep it to yourselves, please.”

“Keep what?” Linda asked as her head popped up from the seat in front of them. She was sharing with Anka and Ivet. Alicia, Alondra, and Albena had the row beside them and Maria sat with strangers behind Joseph. Timotei got to enjoy first class with his parents, that lucky baby.

“My sanity,” Andrey answered, turning back to his book. “Sit down, we lift off soon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')  
> Стринка (strínka) – a father’s brother’s wife


	148. Chapter 147

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> Emilio blushes way easy and Ivo's a piece of shit  
> But you guys already knew all that
> 
> _“What piece of shit said it?”_

Pulling his bag in after him into the room he was sharing with Joseph, Emilio was ready to sleep for years from his exhaustion. Airplanes just made a person naturally tired. How people who had to use them all the time did it, he’d never understand. Maybe it just took some getting used to. When they had moved from Connecticut, they had driven and shipped some of their stuff.

He was glad they hadn’t used an airplane.

Shutting the door, he dragged the bag to a corner and left it there to be dealt with later. Rolling himself onto the nearest bed on his back, he turned his head to watch Joseph open his own bag, pulling out a pair of shorts and a shirt. “Why are you gonna change?”

His boyfriend flicked a quick glance to him before shutting his bag and putting his clothes on the other bed by the balcony door. “Because I want to sleep.”

“Yeah, me too but you’re already in shorts and a shirt.”

Rolling his eyes before he yanked off his shirt, Joseph replied “These aren’t sleeping clothes. These are ‘wearing out’ clothes. ‘House’ shorts and shirts are older and a little more raggedy in some cases. Duh.”

“Duh,” he snorted, turning back to look at the ceiling when Joseph shucked off his shorts to pull on the others. They had changed in front of each other before – it was normal – but for some reason it felt different now. Maybe it was because they were a thing and they had their own room.

Thinking that maybe he should get up and change into ‘house clothes’ before he fell into a dead exhausted snore, Emilio was a little surprised when Joseph laid down beside him. Flicking his gaze to him, he smiled “Yes?”

Lying on his side and leaning his head on a propped up arm, Joseph was making that face that meant he was about to ask something but didn’t know how to phrase it. So Emilio waited until the handsome dude looming over him found his words. After another minute of silence, Joseph murmured “Question.”

“I figured.”

A small smile came on Joseph’s face before he bit his lip and said quietly “Keep in mind that I don’t know better. That only recently I learned that being gay is okay.”

Emilio nodded, bracing himself for a serious question. He loved when Joseph asked him questions like these; Emilio wanted to help him fully accept himself and realize that there was absolutely nothing wrong with him.

“Don’t think I’m stupid or something for asking this question. I just kinda figured you’d have some sort of answer for me,” Joseph continued.

“Of course. Go ahead.”

Nodding and taking a breath after giving those delicious lips a quick nip, Joseph asked “Is there gay sex? Like can two guys have sex or no?”

_Emilio flicked a quick glance to his father walking into his room as he packed. By tomorrow, they’d be in San Diego._

_California._

_La La Land._

_How crazy was that?_

_He was a little surprised when his father quietly shut the door before coming and sitting beside Emilio’s suitcase on the bed. “What up, popster?” Emilio asked while folding a shirt and putting it neatly into the bag. He didn’t want his stuff to be all wrinkly._

_So used to the weird nicknames, his father just took it like nothing. “Ground rules, actually.”_

_“For what?” What did he need rules for?_

_“For sharing a room with Joseph.”_

_He paused his packing and stared at the man. “Huh? Me and Joseph share a room all the time when we do sleepovers. What do we need rules for? If you mean don’t break anything or keep it clean, don’t worry about it.”_

_Clucking his tongue to disagree, his father replied “While those are important, that’s not what I’m talking about. You guys have never shared a room as a couple, so some things need to be said. To be honest, I’d never let one of your sisters share with a boyfriend. Consider yourself extremely lucky and privileged.”_

_“Thank…you?” Emilio said, still partially confused. “Why does us dating have to change anything? There’s just added kisses which is exactly what Alicia got.”_

_“That’s my point. Kisses is where I draw the line. No more than that. I said you guys should get a room for yourselves but don’t stretch your luck.”_

_Still confused on where his father was trying to go with this, Emilio asked “Can you maybe explain a bit better? You’ve lost me.”_

_Sighing and shaking his head, he stated simply “No sex.”_

_Heat filled his face. He couldn’t be serious, could he? “Papa, you don’t actually think me and Joseph are going to have sex, do you? Like honestly.”_

_From his face, Emilio could tell that the man was actually serious. “I don’t think it’s that out there of an idea. You’ve been pining for him for years. Now you guys have a room to yourselves without the worry of anyone bothering. And you’re both older. It’s not such a crazy thought.”_

_“Fourteen? That’s not very old.”_

_Shrugging, his dad revealed “I was fourteen when I first had sex. It’s very possible and probable. That is why I’m sitting here and saying in firm terms no sex. No sexual acts. Nothing of any of that sort.”_

_It hadn’t even been in his mind to have sex. Not yet, at least. “It’s not gonna happen, don’t worry. No sex, no sexual acts.” Although, Emilio wasn’t opposed to at least over the clothes handjobs. Alicia had gotten to do that._

_“I’m serious, mijo. No sex, no blowjobs, no-”_

_Covering his face, he interrupted with a groan. “Okay. I really get it.”_

_His dad examined him for a minute before nodding. “Okay, good. But should you think that you’re so unimaginably cool and grown up and, for that matter, stupid,” he raised a finger, “condoms,” he raised another finger, “lube. Got it?”_

_This conversation almost rivaled the one he had with his mom about sex in level of awkwardness. Except this one was slightly ridiculous; they weren’t going to have any sort of sex. “Papi, we’re not-”_

_“Condoms,” his father repeated, the two fingers still raised, each one touched to count a word, “lube. Got it?”_

_Giving in, Emilio replied “If we decide to have sex even though we aren’t anyways, though you don’t seem to be listening, one of us will sneak out of the hotel, go to whatever the corner store is, and buy a box of condoms and a bottle of lube. Okay. Got it. Heard you.”_

Blinking at Joseph, he answered “What’s your thought on the matter?”

Looking annoyed at just not being answered, Joseph responded “Well…I was thinking that maybe dudes have anal sex. Because, you know, we don’t have no lady parts.”

“And that there is your answer.”

“Yeah?” Joseph said in surprise, even though Emilio was sure that deep down, Joseph knew it was. “So if we wanted to have sex, we do it that way?”

“Yup.” He really hoped Joseph wasn’t about to suggest it. Not just because of his father’s rule but because Emilio had meant it. He definitely wasn’t ready to jump into sex. “Guess you didn’t get the ‘gay’ version of the sex talk, huh?” _Obviously._

Joseph’s eyes went wide. “No.” Sitting up quickly and looking as focused as much as he probably did in class, he demanded “Tell me. I wanna know.”

Embarrassment bubbled in his stomach. Sure, they talked about a lot of things but him teaching Joseph about sex? “Uh…seriously? Like right now?”

“Yes, please. I need to know this stuff. No one is ever going to teach me this. How are we going to have sex if I don’t get it?”

“But you do get it. You know how…anal sex works.” God, he was so bad at conversations like these. He couldn’t say the word ‘anal’ without blushing like a dork. How the hell did Joseph do it? So seriously too. “It’s exactly that. Lots of…of prep and….you know, lube and you’re good to go. And condoms. Definitely use a condom.” His dad would be so proud for him remembering that bit.

Nodding while looking like he was thinking about this really hard, Joseph replied “Prep, lube, condom. Huh, no biggie then.” Suddenly looking extremely curious, he asked “You want to have sex with me, right?”

Face flushing fast and hard, Emilio stuttered “Y-You don’t mean, like, now, do you?” He wouldn’t lie to himself, if he had been ready, he’d go against his dad’s ‘no sex’ rule probably in a heartbeat.

Too bad he wasn’t ready. But they had plenty of time. Months. Years even.

They were going to last. No way they wouldn’t.

Laughing with sparkling eyes, Joseph snorted “No, not now or even on this vacation. I just mean in general. Sex is in our future? I hope so.” Leaning over Emilio, he kissed hard, sucking his bottom lip into that amazing mouth. “Because I really want to sleep with you.” Another kiss. “ _Really_ want to.”

Kisses and words were way more powerful than Emilio ever gave them credit for. He could feel his entire body heat up and all thoughts and blood running south. “I really want to too,” he whispered back, dragging Joseph down for another kiss. “Love you, broseph.”

Eyes fluttering open to reveal his beautiful eyes, Joseph replied “Love you too.”

 

  

* * *

 

There was insistent knocking on the door and Joseph just wished it’d go away. His head was still aching from the stupid plane trip and dragging himself away from the sleeping form of his boyfriend wasn’t favorable.

Flicking a glance to Emilio beside him, Joseph rolled his eyes in affection. This guy could sleep through anything.

He sighed when there was yet another knock and dragged his butt out of bed. “Coming,” he muttered when he finally reached the door. Yanking it open, Joseph blinked at Andrey standing smugly with arms crossed. How did he seem so freaking awake? "What.”

“Sorry was I interrupting?” his cousin smirked with a knowing look in his eyes.

“My sleep, yes,” Joseph answered with an eye roll. Smoothing down his bedhead, he asked “What?”

“Breakfast. Duh. Get ready in five minutes and meet at the elevator.”

Letting out a tired huff, he shut the door on Andrey and walked back to the bed he and Emilio were sharing. Getting on, he poked the sleeping Latino. “Emilio.”

Not even a flutter of eyes.

“Emilio,” he sighed as he poked him again. His boyfriend had always been a heavy sleeper and was one of the hardest people to wake. “Emilio. Yo. Dude. Wake up.” His pokes were apparently useless, so he went for a shove.

Which only rolled the fool over.

Groaning while shaking his head, Joseph leaned over his body and put his face in Emilio’s. “E-Mil-Eee-O. Hello. Stupid. Bromilio. Fucking pookie. Wake the hell up. You’re wasting our five minutes.”

When there was still nothing but soft breathing, Joseph decided to get drastic. Sitting up after placing a soft kiss as an apology, he shoved Emilio hard off the bed.

Which very nicely got him results.

There was an ‘oof’ sound, some shuffling, and then Emilio’s confused face popped up from the side of the bed. “Rude.” The stern voice was far from effective with his still sleepy eyes and the yawn seconds later.

Bouncing off the bed with a smile, he walked to his bag and pulled out a pair of cargo shorts and a tshirt along with a pair of socks. His mother had said California people walked around in flip flops all the time in the summer but Joseph preferred shoes on his feet. Flip flops were for beaches. “Morning, pookie. Time to get up. We have like only two minutes left to get ready.”

There was another yawn as Emilio got up and stretched while Joseph walked to the bathroom. “Where we going?”

“Breakfast.”

“’Kay,” came yet another yawn. “Don’t call me pookie, jerk.”

He smiled to himself as he shut the bathroom door. “You know you love it!”

 

 

“So what’s the plan for today?” Maria asked excitedly after a bite of her breakfast. “What’s first on our list?”

“I call for a day of relaxing,” Emilio said with another yawn in however long it had been. The airplane had really wiped the dude out apparently. “Just some wallowing today and then we can do tons of stuff tomorrow.”

“Boring, Emilio,” Linda snorted in dislike. “Where’s the fun in that?”

Looking a little disappointed, Emilio replied “It doesn’t have to be boring, I’m just saying I’m still tired and I don’t want whatever we’re gonna do be ruined by my exhaustion. I want to enjoy it to, you know.”

“I’m with Emilio,” tétka Nikol added, “A day of rest sounds wonderful.”

Tetíncho Yulian, who looked half drugged, mumbled tiredly “I give my vote to rest. God, I need it.”

“Did the quietest baby in the world give you guys issues?” Mr. Vidal laughed before a sip of coffee.

“No,” his uncle sighed, not really having an appetite or the inclination to join the joke. “My leg did. The plane aggravated it more and I spent half the night either trying to sleep or getting my leg to move again from stiffness.”

“Pills do magical wonders and erase pain,” his father notified while checking his pockets. “Think I left my phone upstairs…”

“I took a Vicodin already.”

Mrs. Vidal’s eyes went wide. “You shouldn’t be taking something that heavy at this time of day. You would have been better off with Ibuprofen.”

Tetíncho Yulian just shrugged while pushing his food around his plate. “I have to take like three of those to feel anything.”

His father tapped him on his shoulder and murmured “Come with me to get my phone?”

“Yeah, sure,” Joseph replied as he stood. He nudged Emilio, “Be right back.”

Walking out of the little hotel restaurant, Joseph followed his father to the elevator. “Needed company?”

“I like company,” his father answered as he pushed the ‘up’ button. “And I hate elevators, especially when I’m alone. I’ve been stuck in one four times already. Don’t want a fifth; especially alone.”

“Ah, the motive has been revealed,” he laughed as they waited. “Just using me; typical Lord Kavinsky.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.”

The elevator arrived and they walked in, the doors shutting behind them. Joseph hit the button for their floor and leaned on a wall. “So what _are_ we doing today?”

Leaning beside him, his father responded “I’m thinking rest would probably be best. We have a whole month ahead of us and I’m sure that a day of relaxing won’t make us miss anything. I don’t think either Yulian or Emilio would appreciate us going somewhere tiring or full of walking.”

“Tetíncho will be alright, right?” Joseph asked as the elevator dinged for their floor and the door opened. “Just needs more therapy, maybe?” His own father had screws in his knee and therapy exercises seemed to be working well.

Walking out of the elevator, his father said “His break wasn’t as clean as my own which wasn’t even clean to begin with, and he stayed with it for a few days and didn’t go to a hospital. His recovery is a little more difficu- _the fuck?_ ”

Joseph halted abruptly when his father did. “What?” He glanced down the hallway and saw something he never thought he’d lay eyes on.

Two men.

Kissing.

Two _men._

“Fucking fags,” his father snarled in disgust under his breath. “And that’s how you know you’re in California. Full of fucking faggots.”

What in the world ‘faggot’ meant, Joseph had no idea but he knew it was not something nice. But his focus was more on the tone of voice his father was using to talk about the two men who Joseph figured were gay.

Pure utter disgust.

Which meant that if his father were to ever find out about him?

That’s exactly how Joseph would be treated.

Cold filled his body with blood freezing in his veins and not bothering to be pumped by his heart. He didn’t want to be treated like that. All he wanted was to be happy, to have his father like him as he was. Sure, his father currently loved him but he knew that if his sexuality was to ever be discovered?

There would be no love, no acceptance.

No more relationship. That conversation he had on his birthday about them sticking together would be entirely void.

Swallowing nervously as he watched his father walk over to the men leaning up against the wall of the hall probably next to their own room door, Joseph listened to the hate and revulsion in his voice. “If you fags don’t mind, take your fucking nastiness to your own room. I, and for that matter, my kid, don’t need to see this shit.”

Actually, he wished he’d see ‘this shit’ way more often. He would have known that he was completely normal. How much more proof did Joseph need than seeing two grown men kissing in public?

One of the men stared at his father and replied angrily “Too bad it isn’t any of your business. If you get to kiss your wife in public, which I imagine you do, then I can kiss my boyfriend.”

“Man and woman is what is normal. You fucking pansies are fucking sick bitches. Who the hell publicizes the fact that they’re a fag? Take your fairy asses back to your room and fuck each other until hell takes you both.” The other man opened his mouth to speak although he seemed afraid – Joseph didn’t blame him – but his father cut him off. “Get the fuck out of the hallway.”

The men looked like they wanted to go for a fight but maybe they sensed the danger in his father’s stance. Looking angry and barely hiding the ounce of fear in their eyes, the man who had spoken took the hand of his boyfriend and dragged him away past Joseph, only to pause a second later. “Sorry you got stuck with that as a father, kid.”

He could feel his eyes go wide as he watched them walk away. His father came up beside him a second later, mock spitting to the floor and snarling “Fucking fags. Fucking disgusting. Can’t wait until they burn in hell.”

Feeling a lot less happy than he had been the past few weeks, Joseph murmured “We should get your phone.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')  
> Стринка (strínka) – a father’s brother’s wife


	149. Chapter 148

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> I finally was able to finish that choppy chpt. It's kind of a filler but it helped me work through my block so yeah. It's not bad, mostly just story telling. If you ever wanted more Raul details, it's kinda what is. Depending on who you are and what you like to read and also if your a Raul fan or not, it's either interesting or it isn't.
> 
> So Emilio is actually capable of being angry. He also has a colorful vocabulary. He just never uses it.  
> Except today ^.^  
> Enjoy!
> 
> _"Come freeze your balls off with me!”_

“Emilio?”

His friend turned his head from the tv. A rest day had been officially declared to some people’s delights and others’ sadness. So everyone went off to their rooms or were exploring around the hotel. “What’s up?”

Joseph had been staring at the same page of a book he had brought and he knew Emilio probably had noticed a long time ago. The minute they had come back to breakfast, he could tell just from Emilio’s face that his boyfriend knew something was wrong. They had now been sitting in near silence for the past hour as Emilio waited for the question he knew was coming.

“What…what’s a faggot? Or a fag?”

Emilio’s eyes went wide as he quickly sat up. “Did someone say something to you?”

Quickly shaking his head, he closed his book and turned his entire body to face his boyfriend. “No, um,” Joseph paused as he bit his lip, grating it between his teeth, “I heard it.”

“Where?” The word must be horrible because Emilio looked not just horrified, but angry too. “What piece of shit said it?”

Now Joseph was the one with wide eyes. Emilio didn’t curse, like ever. Maybe once in a while he’d say ass or any of its similar words but that was it. He didn’t even say ‘crap’ to say ‘shit.’ “Um…I just heard it.”

Looking a little annoyed, Emilio replied “It doesn’t just ‘get said,’ Joseph. People say that with hate and intent. It’s not like you’re just talking about the weather. Who said it? Why did they say it?”

Sighing in defeat as he ran a hand through his hair, Joseph whispered “My dad called a couple guys that. W-We were coming to our room and they were kissing in the hallway. He said that’s when you know you’re in California because it’s full of fucking faggots. And then he started saying tons of stuff to them about how they’d burn in hell, they were fags, pansies, and I think he said fairies too…”

It had taken some time for Joseph to learn that Emilio could actually get angry and yell. It was rare but it happened. But his friend wasn’t just angry, he looked pissed with his eyes flaring in pure hate. “Don’t listen to anything he says, got it? Everything he said to those guys? Don’t think about it, don’t listen to it. No offense but he’s just an ignorant homophobic bastard who’s going to burn in hell for all the horrible things he’s done in life.”

Joseph blinked at his friend in amazement from the words coming out of his mouth. Not just the words but the amount of disgust and hate in his voice as he continued his speech. “I may like him and I may think he’s really cool but for him to think that’d he’d go to heaven just because he’s married to a woman and those guys won’t because they love each other is fucking stupid. God puts horrible people in hell, not homosexuals. Your dad? He’s a murderer and a guy who likes to torture and a fucking abuser. Exhibit A of a horrible human being.”

The sad part was that Joseph actually wanted to sit here and _defend_ his father when he knew every word was true. While he couldn’t defend the first two examples, he was sticking to his lie on the third. “He’s not abusive. He’s not like that, I told you.”

“Bullshit.”

In the five minutes of this conversation, Emilio had said more swear words than he had in all his life. “I’m serious, Emilio. He doesn’t hit; it was just a figure of speech. Have you ever seen him hit me? Or seen bruises?”

The anger was turning more towards annoyance now. “He’s not stupid; he’s not going to hit you in front of me. And no, I haven’t seen bruises but it doesn’t mean they never existed. When we first met? You were scared of him and I never could figure out why. Sometimes when you were in trouble, you’d curl into yourself to hide from everyone how much you were hurting. I was too little to get it then but I do now.”

“Emilio, he doesn’t-”

“Stop defending him,” his boyfriend interrupted with frustration. “Maybe he doesn’t hit you now or maybe less but he used to and there is no way you’re going to convince me otherwise. He’s abusive and that’s that. Topic’s finished.”

“No matter what I say, you’re not going to listen, are you?”

“In terms of this? No.”

“Fine,” he huffed in his own growing frustration. “Just…” Sighing, Joseph said quietly in an almost pleading voice “Just don’t tell anyone, okay? Please?”

Staring at him in silence for the longest minutes of Joseph’s life, Emilio finally replied “Fine. But if I find out that he hit you any time recently or sometime in the future, I’m telling my parents. I’m not going to stand for you getting hurt.”

It was as good as he was going to get, he knew that. And it’d just have to be enough; it wasn’t like his father had hit him anytime recently anyways. It didn’t happen as often as it used to because they were better now. They had a good relationship that Joseph didn’t think was going away anytime soon.

So he had no reason to worry.

“Okay, deal. Now, can you tell me what faggot means?”

With a shake of his head and a sigh, trying to let go of all his anger, Emilio answered “It’s a horrible disgusting word that horrible disgusting people like your dad use to call a gay man. It’s the absolute worse thing someone can call you and you should never stand for it if someone calls you that because no matter how you love, you’re not a fag. You’re you and that’s a beautiful thing.”

Man did he wish he had Emilio’s level of confidence in his sexuality. His father’s words hadn’t even been directed at him and yet he felt every sting and pain from them. “What about stuff like pansy or fairy?”

“They’re based on the fact that homophobes think that a man who loves a man is any less of a man because of that. Like he’s soft or a woman though they prefer to say bitch. Loving a man in no way makes you any less of one.”

Nodding as he considered all this, Joseph murmured “Thanks for the info.” It was really just depressing, if he was honest.

He could tell from the way that Emilio relaxed that he had softened back to himself. A second later, arms wrapped around Joseph and held him close. Lips brushed his ear and Emilio whispered “Being what people think is different is always going to be hard but you just have to be tougher. Ignore them and rise up and show how you’re no different just because of the way you love. That you’re a better person because you don’t hate or aren’t a nasty bigot.”

“Sounds hard,” he said quietly as he rested his head on his boyfriend’s shoulder. “Words hurt a lot more than people give them credit for.”

“They do but…but you just can’t let it get to you. It’s not fair but no one said anything was fair. We just have to prove how wrong and stupid everyone is.”

“Instead of a cop, you should be like a philosopher or maybe a therapist.”

Emilio started to laugh and Joseph loved the vibrations of the laughter he felt through his body. “Think so? I don’t know, a policeman has always been my calling.”

They both turned their heads when there was a knock on the door. Slipping out of the grasp he wished he could stay in, Joseph went and opened. “Mr. Vidal?” he said in surprise. Didn’t he have better things to do than hang out with them? Like enjoy his vacation?

“Can I come in?”

“Uh…yeah,” Joseph shrugged as he let the man in and shut the door behind him. Mr. Vidal walked further into the room and seemed like…he was looking for something? Trying to see something?

“Oh, you’ve got to be kidding, papa!” Emilio exclaimed in what Joseph swore was indignation. “Seriously?”

Mr. Vidal just shrugged. “Just looking around. What’s wrong?” Joseph wanted that answer too.

“First off, there was never a chance to sneak off, it’s the middle of the day, and I wouldn’t be sitting on a dirty bed.”

“Dirty bed?” Joseph asked in confusion. “Am I missing something?”

Leaning on the cabinet that held the television, Mr. Vidal looked between them then laughed. “Joseph’s confusion is enough proof for me.”

He didn’t like being kept out of the loop. “Proof for…”

Rolling his eyes, Emilio answered “He wants to see if he can figure out if we had sex or not.”

Talking sex with his boyfriend was cool, not embarrassing, and something he could easily handle. Talking sex with his father was cool, not embarrassing, and something he could also easily handle.

Having Mr. Vidal wonder if they had sex was the complete opposite of all that.

With a slowly heating face, Joseph muttered “Seriously…”

“I’m just seeing,” Mr. Vidal snorted in amusement. “I gave Emilio distinct rules that nothing should pass kissing. Those rules are now being passed to you.”

That’d explain why when Joseph mentioned sex, Emilio stuttered. He probably thought Joseph was going to suggest it. “And you think we went against those distinct rules?”

“Dunno,” he replied with another shrug. “That’s why I’m checking and will probably check every few days in case either of you are wondering.”

Groaning, Emilio fell back onto the bed and covered his face with his hands. “Papi, I already told you we aren’t going to and weren’t even thinking about it anyways. Please stop.”

“And should you decide to break my rules?”

With a sigh and uncovering his face, Emilio said to the ceiling “Condoms and lube. I can’t believe we’re doing this all over again.”

“Mr. Vidal,” Joseph started, “You don’t seriously think we’re going to have sex yet, do you?”

“I think anything is possible. And you’re like a sexual deviant; I had to tell you and Alicia no sex and you were only twelve then.”

“Almost thirteen,” he muttered in response. Then his brain latched onto the other words. “Wait, sexual deviant? Seriously? What even?” he laughed along with Emilio.

Mr. Vidal put his hands up in defense. “Just saying. Anything can happen. Also, I forgot to add, change the sheets after sex. Because then that’s just gross.”

Joseph laughed harder as Emilio rolled over and groaned into the mattress in both embarrassment and annoyance.

 

 

“I propose the beach tomorrow,” his mother said as they all sat for dinner. “I want some nice sun and I bought like five different swimsuits to wear. They need to be put to good use.”

His father’s fork slowed on its way to his mouth as he flicked a glance to her. Joseph knew exactly where the man’s brain had gone. “Close your mouth or a fly will go in.”

Everyone laughed while his father rolled his eyes and took his bite. Swallowing, he snorted “Shut up.”

“Just reminding you,” he replied with a smirk. “Don’t want you to choke on a bug while you’re lost in your fantasies.”

“Ha, ha, sooo funny.”

“I don’t know why fantasies need to happen,” tetíncho Yulian laughed, looking much better than he had this morning. “Pretty sure there’s nothing he hasn’t seen after twenty something years.”

“Whips and chains,” his father replied with a huge smile on his face. “Haven’t seen that yet.”

Joseph wasn’t exactly sure what that meant but it caused both his mother and Mr. Vidal to choke on their food. Mrs. Vidal thought it was hilarious as she laughed with tétka Nikol. “Oh my God, Ivo,” his mother groaned while shaking her head.

“What? He said I’ve seen everything. Whips and chains have not happened yet.”

“Please shut up,” Mr. Vidal sighed. “Can you just once keep your stupidity to yourself?”

With a sip of water and a roll of the eyes, his father answered “It’s not fair if you get to be kinky and I don’t.”

“I don’t think I want any more of this conversation,” Alicia interrupted. “Please.”

“I agree,” Maria added, “I don’t want to know if my parents are kinky or not.”

With another laugh, Mrs. Vidal said “As I told Ivo years ago, whether we are or aren’t will remain a mystery. Just let it go.”

“Before we let it go,” Joseph jumped in, “What’s kinky? You guys can’t have a conversation with half the table not getting it.”

Slapping her hand on his father’s mouth which was ready for an answer, his mother responded “Don’t worry about it. When you get there, you’ll figure it- ouch!” She pulled her hand back and stared from her finger to his father with annoyed wide eyes. “Jerk.”

Smiling huge, his father winked to Joseph and replied “Biting is like extreme lower level kinkiness.”

“So…it has to do with sex?”

“Oh for,” tetíncho Yulian interrupted. “No sex conversations at the table, people. Or in front of children. How hard is that?”

“Okay, okay,” Joseph laughed while shaking his head and turning back to his food.

With a sip of ice tea, Emilio joined in. “We’ll just search it up la-”

“Don’t you dare,” Mrs. Vidal cut through his words. “That’s all we need is you and Joseph searching up kinks.”

His mother shook her head and glared at his father. “This is all your fault.”

“Hey,” his father replied while leaning in his chair. “Nothing wrong if he wants to know about kinky sex. Maybe it’s his thing.”

He still wasn’t exactly sure what kinky sex was but he could feel his face turn hot. “So it’s not for everyone?”

“No sex talk,” his tetíncho reiterated. “If you want to, do it in private. Please and thank you.”

“Anyways,” his mother said in a loud voice. “Beach tomorrow? Sound good?”

He nudged Emilio with his shoulder, “Maybe we can finally teach you to swim.”

“I don’t know,” his boyfriend replied, “Maybe I’m just not made to swim, dude.”

“I’ve got a tactic we haven’t tried yet,” Mr. Vidal notified, wiping his hands clean on his napkin. “It’s foolproof.”

Emilio stared down his dad with a raised brow and looking a little nervous. “Foolproof?”

“Yup. It’ll work. Guaranteed.”

“You wanna detail that?”

“Nope.”

“I think I’m worried on your behalf,” Joseph said with amusement while patting Emilio’s shoulder.

Turning to Joseph, he smiled “I think _I’m_ worried on my behalf too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')  
> Стринка (strínka) – a father’s brother’s wife


	150. Chapter 149

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> Just a couple things today. One, sadly there will be no Tuesday update this week. I've got projects due that need my full thoughts. And two literally just blanked from my mind and I can't remember what it is...crap. But anyways, I'll see you guys on Thursday.
> 
> Enjoy a day at the beach!
> 
> P.S. idk if this needs to be said but idk how many ppl know it or not. When you get to the part about Maria's bf, it's pronounced Hey-sus even tho it's spelled Jesus. Spanish pronunciation and stuff.
> 
> _“Damn… Venc, she woulda hella kicked your sorry ass.”_

“This…” Emilio trailed in worry as they continued to walk, “is a cliff.”

“Sandstone if you want to get precise,” his father replied matter-o-factly.

They came to a stop near the edge and looked down at the water below. The tide didn’t seem too strong as the water peacefully swayed back and forth. It was him, Joseph, Andrey, his father, and Mr. Kavinsky.

And Emilio suddenly realized what the foolproof swimming lesson was. He sure as hell wasn’t jumping off this cliff.

No way.

Backing up a bit, he stated simply “No.”

His father ignored him as he slipped off his flipflops and pulled off his shirt along with everyone else, tattoos looking extra bright in the sunlight.

Gaze catching on Joseph, Emilio had to actually work hard not to smile. Shirtless Joseph was definitely his jam. Shirtless Andrey was pretty nice too.

Nothing compared to Joseph of course.

Cracking his neck back and forth, Mr. Kavinsky winked to Emilio and said “See you down below.” With that, he leaped off, diving flawlessly into the water. His head popped out a second later and with a wave, he called “Who’s up next? Come freeze your balls off with me!”

Andrey laughed as he shook his head and took a steadying breath before he jumped off. Far less flawlessly but still nice. Breaking back through the surface, he shouted “Let’s go Joseph!”

His boyfriend looked down then turned back to Emilio with a smile. “You’re jumping after me.”

“No way,” Emilio shook his head vehemently. He hadn’t even bothered taking off his shirt or slippers. “Not happening.”

Joseph looked like he was making a choice before he flicked a quick glance between Emilio and his dad. Coming toe to toe with Emilio, Joseph kissed him hard and fast then whispered against his mouth “Take off your shirt and jump.” He pressed a quick peck before he took a step back. “Shirt.”

“I’m not-”

“Shirt, Emilio.”

“Sheesh, I know who the pushy one is,” his dad murmured under his breath with a smile.

With shaking hands because the thought of going into that water freaked him out, Emilio removed his shirt and shoes. “Not jumping though.”

Shrugging with a big smile and a salute, Joseph said “See you in the water.” Parting words as he ran and jumped off the cliff.

Rushing forward, he watched until Joseph’s head popped out of the water. “Waiting!” his boyfriend shouted up with a huge smile that Emilio could see from here.

Backing from the edge, he bit his thumbnail nervously. How was jumping into the water going to teach him to swim?

“On three,” his father said, coming up behind him.

“Nope,” he shook his head fast. “Not a chance.”

“Aye, Emilio, you’ll be fine.”

“No.”

Again his father ignored him as he looked over the edge and called out “Ready?”

Mr. Kavinsky’s voice rang out loud and clear. “Ready!”

Kissing the side of his head, his dad murmured “Don’t hate me.”

Before he even had a chance to say ‘what’ or ‘why,’ he was grabbed and thrown off the cliff.

Thrown. Off. The. Freaking. Cliff.

He screamed before he realized he really needed to close his mouth and nose. Eyes would be good too. Barely doing that before it was too late, Emilio slammed into the water, breaking through the surface. His first instinct was to panic which was literally what he did before firm hands grasped him and hauled him up.

Coughing as his lungs made contact with air, Emilio latched hard onto Mr. Kavinsky. Rubbing his eyes so he could open them as he heard a splash, he glared at his father who popped up beside them. “I hate you.” His dad only smiled as he ducked back under and swam a couple laps to warm up. “Can you take me to shore, please?” he asked Mr. Homophobe.

“Nope.”

Staring at the man whose arms were keeping him afloat, Emilio said incredulously “Why not?”

“Because we’re going to teach you if it kills us,” Joseph laughed as his head came up from the water. He brushed the short hairs latched to his forehead back and out of his eyes. “Duh.”

“Close your nose,” Mr. Kavinsky said before he dunked them both under. Emilio had barely processed his words before they went under and came back up.

His nose had not been closed.

Once again coughing and now snorting out water from his nose, he mumbled “You didn’t give me a good enough of warning.”

“Okay how about this one,” Mr. Kavinsky laughed. “In three seconds, I’m going to drop you into the water.”

“What?” Emilio replied in panic. “Don’t do that.”

“One, two…”

“Don’t you dare.”

“Three!”

Mr. Kavinsky’s hands let go but Emilio’s sure didn’t as he grasped around the man’s neck. “No way.” He let out a yelp when hands wrapped around his ankles and pulled hard breaking his grip and dragging him all the way in. He had remembered to close his nose and mouth this time which was good as arms circled his waist and brought him back to the surface. There was no coughing this time as he rubbed his eyes open and found himself in his father’s arms.

“I think you’re alive,” his dad said in a smug voice.

“You’re not funny,” Emilio muttered while rolling his eyes. “This is not how you teach a person.”

“We’ve tried all the traditional methods so we decided unconventional might work nice. It _will_ work nicely. You got this, mijo.”

Narrowing his eyes, he grumbled “Again, I hate you. This is ridiculous and I’m gonna drown, you horrible father. I’m so telling mama on you.”

With a roll of his eyes, his dad snorted “One? I won’t let you drown, dear horrible child of mine. Two, stop whining and three, mama already knew that I was planning on throwing you in. _Duh_.”

Of course she did. “Load of traitors all of yous.” His mind clicked on Joseph before he had jumped in. The stupid smile and salute. Turning to glare at his boyfriend looking freaking amazing with his wet hair, Emilio accused “You knew.”

Swimming over closer and coming to a floating stop beside Emilio and his father, Joseph revealed with a huge smile “Duh. It’s been our plan for like ever for whenever we got the chance to go swimming. It just so happened that it was now.”

Resigning himself to his fate, he sighed “So this is gonna happen, isn’t it?”

“Hopefully,” Andrey laughed, coming up to them. “We need you to keep up, man. Get with it already.”

It wasn’t like he was opposed to swimming; he did actually want to learn.

But he apparently wasn’t a very good student. And because of the years of not learning, he had started stocking up a slight fear of the water. It wasn’t his fault.

It was his horrible teachers’. Their tactics sucked.

Especially this one. This one was Class A terrible.

“On three, mijo,” his dad said, “Hold your breath and try to reach the surface like your life depended on it.”

“My life does depend on it,” Emilio muttered in annoyance at this whole stupid method.

“No it doesn’t,” Mr. Kavinsky replied with his signature eye roll. “None of us are going to let you drown. Even if we felt like it, it’s not worth the suffering we’d get from your mom. She’d beat the crap out of us or something.”

“Hell, abuela would murder us all with a vengeance. She’d never forgive us for losing her favorite,” Andrey added with a snort of amusement.

So true. It was a good thing he had those two ladies on his side then; they could be terrifying.

Especially abuela and her chankla.

“Ready?” his father asked. “One…two…”

“Wait, wait!” Emilio interrupted quickly before the drop happened. “Just uh…don’t take too long on me, if you don’t mind.”

Smile adorning his sharp features, his dad replied “No problem. Not too long. Now on three. One…two…three!”

Despite the fact that he had been bracing himself, he definitely wasn’t ready for his head dunking into the water. Luckily, he had remembered to hold his breath. His body was running on instinct right now and that specific instinct was simple.

Don’t drown.

Letting that take over instead of panic, Emilio pushed with his arms and legs the way he had seen all of them do. His eyes were closed so he wasn’t sure where the surface was but he felt like he was going up. Not fast enough though because his lungs were starting to ache and arms wrapped around his waist, pulling him up.

Air never tasted so good.

 

  

* * *

 

"Not bad!" Joseph encouraged as he treaded water beside Emilio and Mr. Vidal. "You actually kind of had it!”

Emilio’s eyes sparkled in happiness. “You think so? Were you watching?”

“We kind of all were,” he laughed, “We couldn’t have you panicking on us.”

“You had the movements,” his father added, “Just a little less flailing and I think you are finally on your way. Good thing we have a month, huh?”

“For sure,” Emilio smiled although Joseph could tell it was sort of fake. It didn’t have the usual sparkles that an Emilio smile would have.

Ever since yesterday’s conversation, Emilio was somewhat mild towards his father. He laughed at all the right times and smiled too but it wasn’t the same. Joseph wasn’t sure if anyone else could tell, but he sure could.

They practiced and swam until they were too exhausted to put any more effort. Walking back to the cliff where they had jumped from, they grabbed their stuff and made their way to the beach where everyone else was supposed to be. They had woken up early today to find a good cliff spot and their families had come to the beach later on.

“Well?” Alicia called as they came walking to everyone lounging on towels. Tetíncho Yulian had a lounge chair because he was a privileged injured being. He had looked disappointed last night that he didn’t have the strength to go cliff jumping with them today. “Are you learned?”

“Mildly,” Emilio laughed as he walked over and grabbed a towel. “I have the movements but I’m definitely not earning myself an A+ yet. Maybe like a D.”

“Hey, progress,” Maria joined in from where she was lying on her back, propped up on a bag, and sunglasses on her face.

Emilio halted as his gaze caught on her. He blinked blankly for a second before he turned quickly to look at their fathers still walking over a little behind them before saying “Papa know you’re wearing that?”

She smiled nervously before replying “I was with mama when I bought it. She’s seen it.”

“He’s not going to like it, you know.”

Probably not, Joseph figured as he gave himself a quick drying with his towel. Mr. Vidal was extremely protective of his daughters and while he was an open-minded guy, he probably wouldn’t like the swimsuit Maria was sporting.

Scratch that. Definitely wouldn’t like the white high cut one piece. If Joseph remembered right from when his mother dragged him to get new shorts and herself new swimwear, peekaboo cuts or whatever is what it had working its way up her sides.

But Joseph had to admit, she looked really good in it.

Pushing her sunglasses up into her long dark curls that Joseph had learned came from her mother, Maria mumbled “Mama said it looked nice.”

“I didn’t say it doesn’t,” Emilio responded with an eye roll. “I’m just saying that he’s not going to-”

“What are you wearing?” Mr. Vidal asked when he noticed Maria and her legs that went on for miles.

“She’s wearing a swimsuit, Raul,” Mrs. Vidal answered in a tone like ‘duh.’ “What’s she wearing exactly?”

He was still staring at Maria as he pointed out “That is not the kind of swimsuit I picture my daughter wearing.”

“Why? I think she looks fantastic in it.”

Turning his gaze to Mrs. Vidal, Emilio’s father stared at her incredulously. “That is okay with you? That…strip of cloth? It’s not even considered clothes, Claudia.”

Maria’s cheeks were pink as she sat up and stared down in her lap, keeping her mouth shut. Sitting himself down beside Emilio, Joseph watched as his mother jumped in to defend her. “C’mon, Raul, she looks beautiful wearing it. What’s wrong with it?”

“You’re serious?”

“She showed it to me, I said yes,” Mrs. Vidal firmly. “She’s not a baby at twenty-one, Raul. There’s nothing wrong with it.”

“Really.”

“Stop being so anal,” his father muttered from where he was sitting beside Joseph’s mother. When his eyes had caught on her in one of her new bikinis, Joseph swore his pupils had dilated in less than a second. “There isn’t anything wrong with what she’s wearing.”

Looking annoyed with his brows raised, Mr. Vidal replied “Being that you have no daughters, I don’t think you get an opinion on this.”

“Okay, asshole,” his father snorted.

Turning to the one who did have daughters, Mr. Vidal asked “Would you let Anka wear something like that? Albena?”

Sighing as he turned his head to really look at Maria, Joseph could literally read the ‘no’ on tetíncho Yulian’s face. He could also read the confliction that he was facing because he probably didn’t want to upset Maria. “Eighteen and under…no. Not a chance. Maybe even nineteen and under. But Maria’s an adult, Raul. You can’t exactly tell her no on what she’s wearing.”

He had probably read the ‘no’ on his uncle’s face too. “Really.”

“Claudia saw it and said yes; it’s not like she went and bought it behind anyone’s backs.”

“It was behind mine.”

“But I said yes,” Mrs. Vidal reiterated. “Girls things are left to girls, Raul. Your domain is Emilio and mine is the girls. Stick to your side.”

“Really.”

“I think she looks nice,” Emilio added in full conviction. “She looks really pretty.”

“For sure,” Joseph joined in. Maybe he could get some humor into this and lighten it all up. Catching Maria’s eye, he turned on his charming smile and asked “You wanna go out with me? I’m way better than Jesus.”

It earned laughs all around which was good. Mr. Vidal didn’t laugh but he did smile and roll his eyes which Joseph took as a good sign. He had a feeling that he’d still harp on it later in private. “Bouncing from one daughter to the next?”

“It’s not my fault they’re all pretty.” He winked to Linda, “You’re next.”

“My baby is a player,” his mother sighed with a shake of her head and a laugh along with everyone else. “Disappointment.”

“Takes after Yulian, apparently,” his father muttered in mock shame. “Always knew he was a bad influence.”

“Oh please,” tetíncho Yulian retorted. “Maybe you should’ve learned to have a filter when talking in front of children. I can’t see how it’s my fault when I never talk about such topics in front of kids.”

Sitting up and flicking up his sunglasses, his father said in a bored voice “I’m not the one who’s slept with like thirty different women. Only one to my dick’s name.”

Anka looked at her father in amazement. “Dang, tatko. Thirty?”

“Ten, tops,” tetíncho Yulian corrected with a vicious eye roll. That was probably something he never wanted his kids hearing.

“Fifteen,” his father countered. “I remember you telling me that.”

Huffing in annoyance, tetíncho Yulian replied “Whatever. I was probably drunk for the other five then.”

“Thought you don’t talk about this stuff in front of kids,” Joseph laughed. “Don’t encourage drunken sex.” Looking at Mr. Vidal curiously, Joseph asked “How much does the gangster have under his belt?”

“Notches in the bed post,” Alicia said as she flipped through a magazine. “Or notches in a belt.”

Shrugging because it was all the same no matter how you phrased it, Joseph looked expectantly at the detective who was now more relaxed as he sat beside Mrs. Vidal. “Well?”

Dry humor reflecting in the man’s eyes, he questioned “What makes you think I’d answer that?”

“Ah,” Emilio nodded knowingly as if that answered everything. Nudging Joseph with his shoulder, he revealed “It means a lot more than Mr. Yulian’s fifteen. Which I guess means I’m allowed at least fifteen. You on the other hand, only one.”

Shaking his head as he laughed, Joseph replied “It’s not a competition.”

“Exactly,” tétka Nikol snorted in annoyance. “Women are not some prized horses where you take your pickings. Have some freaking respect for them, please.”

Raising his hands up in defense, Emilio laughed “It was just a joke, Ms. Nikol, I swear. I’m not gonna go sleep with every girl that passes my eye.”

Joseph knew he wouldn’t. He’d murder him if he did.

If he dared.

“Better not,” Mrs. Vidal muttered under her breath.

“Change of subject people,” Linda cut in. “Sheesh, talk about normal stuff for once.”

“Technically, sex is a normal topic,” Ivet replied while untying her long smooth hair out of its ponytail. Andrey’s eyes trailed the long locks dropping down her back. “It’s society that makes everything awkward.”

“Whatever. I propose that tomorrow, we do a relax day and then zoo day. What do you guys think?”

“What do we need to relax again for? A beach day _is_ a relax day. Look at us.”

Throwing an empty bottle at Ivet, Emilio said “I definitely did not relax. I was thrown off a cliff, dropped, and dunked, and just goddang abused.” Huffing as he lay down, he muttered “Relax day she says. Load of garbage that.”

“It’s all in the name of learning,” Andrey laughed while munching on a chip. He pointing a second chip at Emilio, “Learning, my friend.”

“Learning my butt. Abuse. Pure unadulterated abuse.”

“Stop complaining. It’s your fault you never learned before.”

“Pft,” Emilio blew, “It’s my terrible teachers’ faults. It’s a huge collective effort.”

“Damn then,” his father said in fake disappointment. “We’re all such failures, goddammit. But I like relax then zoo so we’ll go with that.”

“Why do you get to make all the choices?” tétka Nikol grumbled. “It should be like a voting system or something.”

Sitting up as he took a sip of water, his father replied in a know-it-all tone “Because I paid for everything. Duh, bitch.”

“Ivo,” his mother hissed in annoyance. Switching to quick Bulgarian, she added “Is it so fucking hard to just not?”

His father just rolled his eyes with a smile and replied in English “Yes, actually it is. Extremely hard. Like harder than my dick when I’ve got a raging boner. And you know how hard that is.”

“You and your obsession with your dick,” tetíncho Yulian snorted in distaste while his mother blushed a heavy red and others laughed. “Like just get over yourself; we all know you talk big because it’s so small.”

“Ohhh,” Emilio laughed, “Burn!”

Looking completely unfazed and making sure to flip up his sunglasses so everyone could see, his father said “Puhlease. You can’t even compete with my amazingness. Your midget dick ain’t got shit on mine.”

“Because this is probably the stupidest conversation I’ve ever had with you people, I’m bringing it to a close with the simple note of we relax tomorrow and zoo the day after,” Mr. Vidal interrupted. With a cheeky smile, he added “And we all know you pathetic Bulgarians don’t even measure a fourth to me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')  
> Стринка (strínka) – a father’s brother’s wife


	151. Chapter 150

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> Remember way back when, I estimated how many chpts this would be? Obvs I went over that because the est was 140 and look at us at 150. So my new estimate is 200. We'll see how that goes haha. Whatever it may be, this story will for sure be done by December. I should have it finished by the end of Oct and then it's just a matter of updating.
> 
> Are any of you guys artists? Anyone doing Inktober? I did my first one last year and I'm trying again this year. My expertise is pencil/charcoal/graphite not ink but I try. I made my own prompt list. I prefer fandom driven than the official one. Last year's was broad in different fandoms. This year I'm focusing entirely on the Grishaverse. If you haven't read it, you really really should. It includes the Shadow and Bone trilogy, then the Six of Crows Duology, and she just released a short story book on Tuesday which was awesome. OH OH and she's doing a duology for NIKOLAI (who? the nonfans say) I'm soooo excited!
> 
> Anyways, enough raving about a different fandom haha. But srsly, if you do Inktober, link me to your page or something so I can see. I'll be posting to my tumblr everyday, so check it out if your curious about my art (my pencil is generally better so don't judge my ink work. I know it's not great). I'm also posting them on twitter everyday (anyone's curious, I can give out my twitter. I don't mind)
> 
> Aaand I really just need to shut up. Sorry. I bet half of you skip the author's note most of the time lol, it's so long.
> 
> I like today's chpt a lot, so hopefully you guys do to. It has a bit about the von Winters (Daniel & Johanna) in case anybody's been wondering about them. Then a lot about coming out and stuffs. It's also apparently big which I didn't know but that's always good haha  
> I was supposed to have a Snapshot ready for y'all today (sorry Goldfish) but I didn't get a chance to finish it. Sunday for sure.  
> Enjoy!
> 
> _“You don’t get to say ass. I think we already covered that.”_

“Johanna von Winter-”

“No, no, go back!” Joseph said quickly when Emilio continued flipping through the channels. Had he heard right?

“Relax your balls, dude,” Emilio laughed as he went back a couple channels, stopping on ESPN. “This what you wanted? It’s not exactly baseball season or soccer so…”

He stared at the screen in awe as he watched a woman flip another down onto the mat, holding her down as best as she could, landing punch after punch before the woman on the bottom was able to flip them apart.

“That’s…” Emilio trailed in amazement, “Joseph, isn’t that _Venc’s_ Johanna?”

Watching as Johanna yet again took her competitor to the floor, he replied “That’s Venc’s Johanna.” The round timed out and the referee pulled the women apart, each one directed to her corner of the ring. Johanna looked fierce and ready to pound the other lady some more as she sat down, getting toweled and some water. His eye caught on a guy behind her on the outside of the rink, reaching out and encouraging her. “Look, Daniel’s there!”

“If she and Venc ever got into marital spats, she’d take him to the floor like nothing,” Emilio snorted in amusement as the next round began. “She’s amazing.”

“No kidding,” Joseph murmured as he tried to watch and walk to the door at the same time when a knock came. She was more than amazing; she was like freaking insane. “Who?”

“Lunch,” his father replied in a bored tone. Resting days were always boring for this man apparently. So far, they had hit both the aquarium and the zoo with days of relaxation and the beach in between. The fathers were supposed to go to Mexico tonight if he remembered right.

Opening the door and quickly rushing back to the television so he wouldn’t miss her hopefully knockout the other fighter, Joseph said to his father who was walking in with a bag in hand “Quick, tatko, come see Johanna fight! She’s so good!”

“Johanna, huh?” his father murmured as he quickly shut the door and followed. He placed the food on the entertainment set and stepped back until he reached the bed to sit on the edge. “Damn… Venc, she woulda hella kicked your sorry ass.”

“Right?” Emilio responded. “Dude wouldn’t have had a chance! Yes!” he exclaimed excitedly as Johanna had the woman in a headlock with her legs and the fighter tapped out. “She kicked your butt Rocky!”

“She’s fucking good,” his father said in an impressed voice. “I mean, damn. Oh, hey, there’s Daniel and his stupid smirk!”

“Who’s the Asian lady next to him?”

“Must be the fiancé.”

Joseph turned to stare at his father while they crowned Johanna the winner of the bantamweight fight. “The what?” No way player Daniel was settling down.

Still more focused on the tv than anything else, his father replied “He called me before we left saying I’m invited to a wedding and shit. She must be the bride. I think I remember something about a Korean girl. Honestly, I wasn’t really paying attention; I was busy trying to see if I could find a replacement for that stupid bird figurine.”

The bird figurine. Joseph knew, _just knew,_ Peanut wasn’t the one who had broken it. It was one of his mother’s favorites of her glass ‘collection’ and she had put it on the entryway table once you came in from the garage. His father had come up to his room one day and told him how he’d found it broken on the floor and Peanut must have knocked it over but never fear, he’d find a quick replacement before mayko noticed.

No wonder he’d been so helpful.

“The one you broke?” Joseph questioned innocently, in search of the truth.

“Not my fault the table’s too close to the door that when you walk in you bum-” His father turned his head to look at Joseph, his eyes narrowed. “Nasty child.”

“You shouldn’t have blamed Peanut. Mayko wouldn’t pet her for two days.”

Snorting, Emilio said “Well, in his mind, better her than him.” He squawked when Joseph’s father shoved him off the bed. “Child abuse!”

It was said with humor and the action had been done in playfulness but Joseph knew that Emilio’s brain was analyzing it carefully. He had probably used the line purposefully.

“Whatever,” his father said without a care as he stood. “Eat, clean up, and do something besides for going blind on the tv.”

“Yessir,” Joseph replied with a smile. He definitely had an idea on what he and Emilio could do instead of just watching tv. Something that was _way better._ “No problem.” After the door shut behind his father, Joseph trotted back to the bed where Emilio was and grabbed the remote to shut off the television.

“I thought no tv is after we eat,” Emilio snorted as he was about to stand to grab the food. Joseph stopped him with a hand to his chest. Smiling and with a single brow raised, Emilio said “Yes?”

Leaning in, Joseph caught Emilio’s mouth in a delicious kiss. “You’re not actually hungry right now, are you? I think you can wait.”

Kissing Joseph just as fierce as he had been given, Emilio pulled back and laughed before he bounced off the bed. “Sorry, Kavinsky, but food takes precedence over you right now. Not all of us like to starve ourselves to skeletal proportions.”

Throwing himself onto the bed and stretching out, Joseph yawned “You’re a mean boyfriend. Are you saying that the food is more delicious than me? I mean, come on, bromilio. I’m so fucking delicious compared to that. Also, I don’t starve myself; I’m just never hungry.” It wasn’t his fault he didn’t gain weight and didn’t really care if he gained weight anyways. He was underweight but he felt like he still looked good.

Grabbing the bag and taking it to the small table in the corner, Emilio pulled out a chair and sat himself down. “One, you have to be hungry sometime. It’s impossible not to be. Two, language, dear broseph.”

“And three?”

“You’re way more delicious than the food but I can’t actually eat you so it’s irrelevant,” Emilio replied with a huge smile on his handsome face before he took a bite.

“Ah, of course.”

They sat quietly for a while as Emilio ate his lunch and Joseph thought about them while staring at the ceiling. How far would they go and last? Joseph hoped and prayed for forever but that called for problems.

Like his family.

There was nothing he wanted more than to spend forever with Emilio. He knew that Emilio’s family would be completely behind that.

But Joseph’s wouldn’t.

How was he supposed to spend forever with his boyfriend if he couldn’t even tell his parents that he had a boyfriend? How long could they keep their secret?

Joseph wished it didn’t even have to be a secret. He wished he could just share his happiness with them and they would in turn be happy for him.

Something that’d never happen.

Well, for sure on his father’s end but Joseph felt like he’d be able to make his mother come around for him. She’d need time but she wouldn’t want to cut him out of her life. If there was one person who’d have his back in the end despite the times they had problems, it was her.

Maybe she’d actually be happy for him. Maybe it was just because of his father that she felt homosexuality was wrong. Maybe she wasn’t really a homophobe; maybe just…a half a homophobe. That wasn’t so bad, was it?

“Hey Emilio?” His boyfriend looked at him curiously as he sipped his juice. “How’d your mom take it when you told her?”

“Told her what?”

He forgot that his musings hadn’t been said out loud. “About your sexuality. How’d she take it?”

Shrugging, Emilio replied easily “Good. Said she’d want me no matter what.”

A small amount of jealousy burned deep within his stomach. If only it were that easy. “What about your dad?”

Surprise struck him when Emilio’s cheeriness actually fell a little. Wiping his face with his napkin as more of a stalling technique than there actually being something on it, Emilio shrugged again but far less easily. “At first…he didn’t take it so well. My mom helped me tell him and he…wasn’t happy.” He gave a small laugh without any humor in it before adding “Pretty sure I saw disgust on his face that day.”

That didn’t sound like the guy who still made it a joke to see if they had sex or not. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Emilio sighed while leaning on his elbow resting upon the table. “Made me repeat myself and then…just nothing. Just muttered under his breath and went to his room. I still remember how loud the door was when he slammed it.”

Joseph had to admit, this was getting interesting. Emilio had faced rejection at first? But Mr. Vidal was completely fine with it now. Maybe it just took time? Maybe Joseph would be lucky like Emilio and his father would only be upset at first but then get over it.

That’d be awesome.

Sitting up, he asked “So what happened after?”

“I felt like complete gross garbage for the three days he wouldn’t talk to me.” Joseph could see how much the memory hurt his boyfriend. “My mom tried to make it better but it didn’t really help. I idolized my dad since I was like two. I was going to be a cop and be just like him in everything. And then my idol rejected me like nothing.” Resting his head on his arms which had been set on the table, Emilio murmured “Nothing has ever hurt as much as those three days did.”

“And then?” Joseph prompted gently because he knew the story had a happy ending. He needed to hear it. “What happened after the three days?”

A soft smile came on Emilio’s face. “He came into my room, crouched in front of me, took my hands in his, and said he loved me however I am. That God had made me perfect and that he was wrong to doubt my feelings. And he’s been accepting ever since.”

Now he was really jealous. Extremely jealous to the point where it hurt.

Because despite how much he wished it, Joseph just knew he’d never get that. Or at least not in the matter of three days.

It’d take years.

“Do…do you think I’d ever get that? The acceptance?”

Emilio blinked at him for a bit before he got up and sat beside Joseph, pulling him into a tight hug. “I really hope so. I really really do.”

So did he.

But he knew, at least on his father’s end, that he never would.

 

  

* * *

 

_“How hard do you think it’d be for Joseph to tell his parents?”_

_Hard_ , Raul sighed in his head. Incredibly fucking hard. Damn did he wish it didn’t have to be that way. And by the look on Emilio’s face when Raul answered, he wished it too.

“How many beers can you take?” Yulian asked from the backseat where he was stretched out, resting his leg up for their night out. “I’m gonna challenge you but only if I know I’m winning.”

“Want to cheat me of my money, asshole?” Raul laughed in response. “You’re the rich one, not me.”

“He’s a sore loser,” Ivo snorted as he drove, flipping off a person who tried to cut them off. “He cries when he loses.”

“Do not,” Yulian muttered in annoyance. “Plus, you’re just as much of a sore loser too, you know.”

“So true,” Raul said as he watched the passing cars on the highway. “You guys are pathetic losers. Someone needs to teach you Bulgarians some sportsmanship.”

How hard would it truly be for Joseph to tell his feelings?

Harder than it had been for Emilio. And Raul was a way more of an open-minded guy than Ivo.

And he definitely hadn’t taken it easily.

_He flicked his gaze back and forth between Claudia and Emilio who both looked way too nervous for his liking. Why were they nervous? What was there even to be nervous about? “So…”_

_Emilio shared a look with Claudia while fiddling with his hands before whispering “I, uh, wanted to tell you something, papa.”_

_Well, yeah, he figured as much. “Break something…hit someone…get in trouble at school?” All things he could live with._

_“Uhhmm,” Emilio replied shakily, on the verge of breaking his own fingers from how scared he was. “No.”_

_“Then?” What could be so worrisome? He had no scenarios in his head except maybe Emilio had somehow seen Raul’s father possibly at one of his siblings' houses and the man had said something harsh. Raul wouldn’t put it past the bastard. It was a good thing he had gotten that job in Jersey; he really needed to just get away from family. They weren’t supposed to have followed him here._

_“I, uh, I’m…” Emilio faltered as he scratched the side of his head. Biting his thumbnail, he stared down into his lap before murmuring “I…I like boys, papi. Girls too but um, boys too.”_

_Raul blinked blankly at his son. His only son. The son he had waited so long and impatiently for. There was nothing wrong with his beautiful daughters; he loved them so much he could die from it. But, probably like every man, he wanted a boy. Someone to follow his steps and teach everything and bond with._

_He had to have heard wrong. “What?”_

_“U-Um…I-I like boys. T-The same way that I like girls.”_

_There was no way he heard wrong this time. His heart was beating so fast he thought he was about to have a heart attack at his young age. “Did you just say you like…boys? As in attracted to boys? As in you see yourself having a life with a boy?” Emilio was barely eight; how aware were eight year-olds about this stuff?_

_His son nodded nervously, finally looking up from his lap. “Yeah. But girls too. Both.”_

_He kept adding ‘girls too’ as if that was supposed to make him feel better. ‘Oh, papi, I’m only a half a fag, just so you know.’_

_Rubbing his face because he was at such a loss for words, Raul gave a shake of his head as he laughed in disbelief. His only son, the boy he had waited for, was a fag._

_Raul used to beat the shit out of fags._

_God punished him by giving him one._

_“Raul,” Claudia said softly, waiting for him to say something. Prompting him to say something._

_But he knew if he opened his mouth, only harsh words would come out and he didn’t want to unleash them on Emilio. “I can’t do this right now,” he muttered hurriedly before he stood and strode to his room, slamming the door shut behind himself._

“Bullshit,” Ivo laughed. “We got better sportsmanship than your Puerto Rican ass.”

“Puh-lease. A leaf has better sportsmanship than you two.”

With his classic snort and eye roll, Ivo replied before he took a sip of water “Fuck you.”

Maybe this was his opening to test the waters. Best way to talk about sensitive topics was to joke about it, right? “Didn’t know I was your type. I’m flattered.”

Yulian broke into laughter from the back as Ivo choked on his water, hurriedly shutting the bottle and slamming it into the cup holder. Flicking his glance between the highway and Raul, he pointed a finger at him and snarled “Don’t even fucking joke like that.”

The snarl should have warned him away, gave him his answer but he wanted to delve deeper. Find Joseph some hope that it’d be okay.

Despite how much they all had a feeling it wouldn’t be.

“Relax, sheesh. You’re not my type anyways. If I were into guys, I think I’d be the kind who likes big junk and from all your talk, I’m convinced that you’re just that – talk.” What was really sad was that Raul had actually _asked_ Claudia if he or Ivo were the bigger one when she had been Ivo’s nurse. Was it childish and just completely ridiculous? Yeah, it was but from all Ivo’s talk, Raul needed to know.

His wife, of course, claimed patient-doctor confidently with a huge smile. The smile told Raul that Ivo’s height had probably helped him out.

So he spent his time convinced that he was at least thicker. He _was_ the muscle guy.

Petty and childish, yeah, he was aware.

Fuck it though.

Blonde-y in the back was dying from his laughter while Ivo just looked incredibly pissed. Usually the guy was all for dick jokes but Raul guessed gay jokes weren’t his type. “That’s fucking sick. What part of shut up don’t you get? Fags are just fucking disgusting sins and all deserve to burn in hell.”

His first reaction was pure anger and hate. Ivo was essentially saying Emilio deserved to go to hell and no one got away with that. And that damn word…he hated it more than anything.

Ironic, he knew.

_“Am I supposed to be fine that my son told me he likes boys?” Raul asked Claudia incredulously. She had stormed the room once the kids had gone to school, fury blazing. Raul had spent the past two days avoiding Emilio as best he could. It was harsh, it was cruel, it was downright mean but he couldn’t see him. He just couldn’t._

_Eyes flashing angrily, she hissed “Yes, Raul, yes you are. He is your son; you love him how God created him and nothing less than that.”_

_He knew that, he really did. It was something he had been telling himself for the past couple days but, goddammit, his son was a fucking faggot. He couldn’t stomach it. “So just accept that he’s a fag?”_

_Blinking in shock, his brain slowly processed the reason his cheek was stinging. The loud clap that had echoed through the room._

_Claudia had slapped him._

_Damn hard too. He shouldn’t expect any less really._

_“Don’t you ever call him that,” she snarled, looking angrier than he’d ever seen her. Angrier even than when she had found out he had been a gangster and had never told her. Or that time her brother had been jumped a couple years before they got together and it had actually been Raul who mugged him._

_It wasn’t like he knew until he got invited to dinner for the first time at her house and came face to face with Alejandro. Actually, Raul hadn’t even known then either; it was Alejandro who recognized him._

_Awkward would never be a strong enough word for when that happened._

_“Don’t you dare speak that word in this house. Do you understand me? He loves boys, Raul, and there is nothing wrong with that. If you have a problem with it, then you can leave. Go enjoy your job in Jersey and we’ll stay put.”_

_That’d never happen. There was no way he’d leave his family behind or walk out on them. But Emilio loved boys._

_And to say that didn’t bug him would be a lie._

He had been conflicted after that morning. The last thing he wanted was to lose his wife and kids. But he knew that if he even faked acceptance, Claudia would know and wouldn’t stand for it.

Advice had been needed.

_“What, Raul?” his mother said as she washed a plate and he leaned against the counter beside her. “I know you would not be here if it wasn’t important.”_

_That was true; he loved his younger brother and loved visiting him and his family but there was a problem._

_His father lived here too._

_And he hated seeing that man._

_But he was in need of advice and the person he always went to was his mother. Sadly, she was staying at Enrique’s house for the next week._

_“Um, advice, mama.”_

_“Let’s hear it.”_

_Sighing, he murmured “I’m…conflicted. Uh…me and-”_

_“Claudia fighting?” she finished, a question and the smallest ounce of worry in her voice. She liked Claudia way more than she had liked Laticia but she always worried that they’d have problems and she’d take the kids like Laticia had initially taken Maria._

_“No actually,” Raul said quietly. “Emilio.”_

_Her eyebrows rose high. “Emilio. My perfect Emilio is giving you problems?”_

_Dropping down into a chair, he rested his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. “He likes boys.”_

_There was silence before she asked “Gay?”_

_“Bi.”_

_“Well, that’s nice of him to tell you. Most would be afraid to. He’s even more perfect than I always knew he was.”_

_Confusion filled him as he picked up his head and stared at her. “What?”_

_“He sees how beautiful everyone is, Raul. That makes him even more beautiful than he is. He doesn’t judge, he doesn’t hate. He’s perfect.”_

_She couldn’t be serious. “He likes boys, mama.”_

_“I heard you,” she replied, finishing from emptying the dishwasher. It pissed him off how whenever she visited, Enrique’s wife would make her do everything. She never helped out when his mother was here. It was like she expected his mother to lick the floor she walked on._

_Such a bitch._

_“Boys,” he reiterated like she wasn’t getting it. Wasn’t listening._

_Crossing her arms, she said firmly “Raul, I heard. If you told that boy anything besides acceptance, then truly you are no son of mine. There is nothing wrong with it; God makes everyone perfect the way they are. Whether they like boys, girls, or nobody.”_

The words had stuck with him on the drive home. The two smartest women he knew kept telling him and he was too stupid to listen.

Not until he passed Emilio’s closed door that night and heard him crying did the words actually stick.

That was when he realized how horrible he was being. How bigoted and homophobic.

How disgusting.

Something he didn’t want to be. After that realization, he had taken a deep breath and noted that his mother was right. Emilio was just even more perfect now.

And Raul told him so. The relief that had been on Emilio’s face was beautiful but it also hurt knowing he had caused that pain. So he swore to himself he’d never do it again.

Ivo’s words came very close to what Raul used to believe. They caused such fury in him now and he was proud at how far he’d come.

But then his heart clenched in pain.

For Joseph.

Because he knew there never would be acceptance on Ivo’s end. Not in a million years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')  
> Стринка (strínka) – a father’s brother’s wife


	152. Chapter 151

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> Happy Inktober! This month is gonna be hella long...school, writing, inktober. I think I'm going to die haha but we must suffer for our art.
> 
> Uh so bad news first. I've scrapped the Snapshot that was supposed to be posted. It was about the guys 'living it up' in Mexico. It's half done but it's just...I'm not feeling it. It just isn't working for me. Who knows, maybe I'll go back to it and try again (that can help a writing process). But I'm not gonna post something I'm not entirely happy with just to get it posted. We'll see I guess. Sorry bruhs
> 
> This is the chpt that I spent almost a month of horrible writing block writing. It's not bad or anything but if storytelling isn't your jazz (I noticed that when I go thru block, I end up storytelling) it might be a little boring. It's pretty much about Raul, really.
> 
> Enjoy and I'll see you guys on Tuesday!
> 
> _“You ate urchin gonads? That’s nasty.”_

“You know what really amazes me about the West Coast?” Joseph started as they sat in the back of the rental car. They weren’t planning on doing anything special today so Mr. Kavinsky had dragged them from their hotel room and said they needed to do something besides for television. Emilio didn’t mind; he enjoyed ‘boring’ days.

Where they were going though, he and Joseph had no clue but at least a drive was nice.

“Um,” Emilio said in thought, “The way these people are so friendly and want to talk and ask about your day even though they’re strangers?” Maybe it was just those random people but most people around here seemed incredibly friendly. It wasn’t that people back in Jersey weren’t but generally they had places to go and be and had no time for chit chat.

“Well, yeah,” his boyfriend laughed as he shook his head, his hair that needed a haircut swaying on his forehead as he did. “There’s that. But no, what I was going for was these huge ass parking lots. Each freaking store has all that space.” He pointed at a Target they were passing, “Huge ass parking lot.”

“Language,” Mr. Kavinsky called from the front seat. “You don’t get to say ass. I think we already covered that.”

Joseph merely rolled his eyes with a smile. “Oh please. What’s so bad about ‘ass?’ It’s a body part, you know.”

Sounding slightly annoyed, surprisingly, he answered “I’m aware, thank you. Doesn’t mean you get to say it. No compromises on that. Speak like a well-mannered person; I’m sure dyádo would appreciate that in death.”

“Low blow, much,” Joseph muttered sullenly. “How come you don’t have to be a well-mannered person?”

His dad snorted from the passenger seat in his amusement at the question. “Very good point. Well Ivo?” he asked, turning to look at the man in question. “Answer the smart child.”

“Because,” Mr. Kavinsky said emphatically with a wave of his right hand. “I’m old and tired and don’t need to be making any good impressions to people except those who I need to do business with. And for those people, I already have a reputation preceding me.”

“But of course,” Joseph snorted. “Then that makes _everything_ okay.”

“Attitude much?” There was hard annoyance tinging Mr. Kavinsky’s voice.

“He’s not only a hormonal teenager but he’s your son,” his dad pointed out with a cheeky smile. “If he didn’t have attitude, I’d be shocked. Probably have a heart attack and all that lovely stuff.”

While shaking his head once more except his time in mock disbelief, Joseph laughed “Wow, Mr. Vidal. Thanks.”

Shrugging, his father replied “We all know it’s true.”

“I don’t see Emilio with much attitude,” Mr. Kavinsky remarked right before he hit the horn hard and started to yell at some car. “Watch where the fuck you’re driving, fucking fuckshit!”

Maybe it was because he didn’t have that as a father. You saw behavior like that and you generally imitated it. Emilio didn’t see stuff like that really and plus, he was way different than Joseph.

He loved his boyfriend to freaking Pluto and back but Joseph had some serious attitude problems.

“No lie, sometimes I worry when I’m in a car with you,” his father muttered with an added sigh. “Either you’re going to commit some road rage or one of these days, someone you yell at will.”

“If they didn’t give a license to every idiot that ever existed, we wouldn’t have a problem. These fuckers don’t even know how to fucking drive.”

With a snort while looking out the window, Joseph said quietly under his breath. “Language much?”

 

 

"This burger is delicious," Emilio mumbled around his bite of food. "Like complete and utter yum."

“Don’t talk with your mouth full,” his dad muttered after a fry, making sure to fully swallow so he wouldn’t be a hypocrite. “Taught you better manners than that.”

With a crooked grin, he laughed “Nah, man. Mama taught me.”

“Whatever,” his dad replied with a roll of his eyes and a sip of his soda. If abuela had been here, she’d have a fit. Actually, she’d be silent and just yank it from his hand or off the table to pull it away from him. In her mind, she was keeping him healthy.

In his father’s mind, she was driving him insane. He always liked to spout back at her ‘I’m already healthy’ in either an annoyed, angry, or frustrated voice. Sometimes exasperated. It really just depended on how long of a day he had up to that point.

“So are you gonna go to Daniel’s wedding?” Joseph asked Mr. Kavinsky curiously. “When is it?”

His dad’s eyes lit up in question as he ate a tomato that fell out of his burger. “The King getting married?”

“Yup,” Mr. Kavinsky nodded. “In October, if I remember right. To some Korean lady he met in a park. I don’t know if I’m going to go though. Weddings are a hassle.”

“This Korean lady know what he does?”

With a shrug, Joseph’s father replied “I sure hope so or else she’s in for a shock. Or a divorce. It was easy for me and Yulian because we were the ones brought into the life; Vesela and Nikol were already a part of it. It’s different when you bring in an outsider. Harder, I think.”

“A bit, yeah,” his dad agreed. “I wasn’t even in the life anymore and when Claudia found out, she was ready to leave my ass on a curb.”

“Found out or you told her?” Emilio asked in wonder. He knew how his parents met and everything but details were beyond him.

To his surprise, his father looked a little sheepish. “Uh…she found out. In a very awkward way. She was pissed to say the least. Probably would have blown over much easier if I had just told her myself and, you know, I hadn’t jumped your tío Alejandro a few years before that.”

They all burst into laughter at his dad’s expense. “Hold up,” Joseph snorted in amusement. “You jumped your eventual brother-in-law?”

“I didn’t know who he was,” his dad protested. “At the time, me and an ex-friend saw this guy about our age walking down the street and thought we’d have some fun with him. And we also jacked his wallet but that’s beside the point – I was different then. So me and Claudia were together for around a month when she said her parents wanted to meet her boyfriend.”

“Man, I wish I was in that room,” Mr. Kavinsky interrupted with a laugh.

Shaking his head with his own laugh, his dad continued. “I walk in, make sure I’ve got my amazing manners at work to impress some people, and then after sharing greetings and smiles with her parents, Alejandro walks in and gives me a really nasty glare. In my head, I’m thinking ‘what the hell is his problem’ and then bam!” His dad slapped a hand onto the table. “He drops the bomb. ‘This is the gangster who put me in the hospital’ blah blah blah, I don’t even get dinner and instead get my ass thrown out.”

“You poor guy,” Emilio responded full of humor. “No dinner.”

Pointing a finger at him, his father said “Hey, hey. The house smelled delicious. And I missed out on it. Instead I got your mom cursing me out for being a lying bastard even though I never lied-”

“Lies of omission,” Joseph countered.

His dad rolled his eyes, “Never lied because she never asked. Then I go home and get laughed at by my younger idiot brother and my mother, get hated on even more by my garbage father, and gross pity from my older siblings. All that was worse than missing the food.”

“So how’d it blow over?”

“I went in everyday to the café where she worked and apologized. I always made sure to buy something too even though I was broke as hell.” Making a face, his father muttered “Not that that has changed. Anyways, I spent almost three weeks doing this until finally she agrees to at least listen to me. I say things changed, I got out, and then I drop another bomb that I kind of have a baby already.”

Emilio always thought his father was smarted than that. “Lemme get this straight. You’re going out with a girl but you never told her that you were divorced or that you had a child? You’re terrible at the dating game, papa.”

“I wasn’t into the ‘dating game,’” he laughed. “So I had no experience. A girl would usually last a month or two. Some were just a couple days or even just a night.” Shrugging, his dad added “It’d depend on if I liked her enough to keep her around.”

“You’re sounding incredibly shallow and jerkish right now.”

With a sheepish smile, he snorted “Well, that’s how I was then. Never said I was always this amazing.”

“Subjective,” Mr. Kavinsky muttered before a taking a gup of water.

“The only one who lasted was Laticia and that was because she got pregnant. To be honest, if she hadn’t, we definitely wouldn’t have. She was a headache from the beginning under that pretty face.” Popping a fry in his mouth, his dad muttered “Not like we lasted anyways. Freaking bitch.”

Maria’s mom was someone he had never met nor did he imagine he would ever meet unless she just suddenly turned up on the doorstep. He’d only ever seen a picture of her once, years ago. Maria looked a lot like her except her eyes were their dad’s in shape and color. Her face was also a little sharper like his.

He had often wondered what it would be like not having your mom around. Obviously, his own mom was practically Maria’s because she had helped raise her since she was little but still. Emilio had always wanted to ask Maria how it felt knowing that her mom didn’t care where she was or how she was doing. Did she have any memories of her? Their dad had gotten full custody when she was four; she had to have some kind.

But he was always too afraid to ask. Maybe it was territory she didn’t want anyone treading in.

Shaking his empty water cup with the few pieces of ice left as if it’d make more, Mr. Kavinsky asked “Still harboring hate?”

“We barely made two years married. Not even two years. Five of those months she was pregnant. Three months after Maria is born, she’s already screwing a piece of crap on the side. Four months after that, she’s screwing some other guy besides that piece of crap for at least a month before I figure it out. Then seven months go by and I’m like ‘okay, maybe we got this now-”

“I’m getting a headache just listening. Jesus.”

Rolling his eyes, his dad finished “Seven months go by, she’s cheating with yet another guy. That’s when I got fed up and told her she wasn’t worth my breath and went for the divorce. I’m trying to make a life for us, working all night and going to school all day and she’s just taking what little crap I had for herself while sleeping with other guys. Hell, I spent the last month of the pregnancy and the first month of Maria’s life in the hospital from the beating and another practically bedridden at home. I don’t doubt she was already cheating on me by then. So yes, I’m still harboring hate and always freaking will.” He huffed a breath and muttered “That freaking bitch.”

“Don’t even know her but I completely agree,” Mr. Kavinsky proclaimed.

“She even tried to screw me and Claudia up.”

“Really?” Emilio questioned in surprise. That was weird. “Why? You guys were divorced. What’s it her business?”

“It wasn’t but she made it hers. She’d go to the café and say loads of crap to mama-”

“She was jealous,” Mr. Kavinsky interrupted with a snort. “It pissed her off you were officially done with her. So obvious.”

There was actually a fire burning in his dad’s eyes from talk of Maria’s mom. _He must really hate her._ “No one told her to fuck everything up. She’d actually use Maria against me too. When I told her we were done, she took her and left. I’d have to literally beg on my knees to see my baby. Then she finds out about Claudia and I’m not allowed to see _my child_ at all unless I dump her.”

“Dang…” Emilio mumbled. He really didn’t like her and he hadn’t even met her. Probably better that he didn’t anyways. He wouldn’t be around if she had been successful in messing up everything between his parents.

“Dang indeed,” his father muttered with contempt. “Fucking bitch.” He was really pissed if he was cursing all the way now.

“Well, she gave you Maria,” Joseph pointed out. “Wouldn’t have her without her.”

“Very true,” his dad laughed with a huge smile overtaking his features. “She did give me Maria. I had wanted to name her after my mother because she was the only one who ever stuck with me but Laticia wouldn’t have it. She hated her. And really, the feeling was mutual between those two.”

Emilio was confused, “But you did name her after abuela. Abuela's Mercedes Maria Vidal.”

Looking incredibly pleased with himself, his dad replied “Exactly, but Laticia didn’t know that abuela’s middle name was Maria until a month later. Got yelled at for hours because of it but totally worth it.”

Joseph looked to his own father, curiosity lighting his eyes. “Why Joseph instead of Yosef? Wouldn’t that have made more sense?”

With a shrug, Mr. Kavinsky answered “I didn’t like him that much. Well, I liked him – loved him but…issues. Loved him enough to carry his memory but not to have to cringe every time I said your name. Middle ground worked out good. If you were a girl, we were going to name you Emiliya after your bába. Fully her name because I loved her more than I ever did your dyádo.”

“How come we never named any one from mama’s side?” Emilio asked his father. Emilio’s name came from his great-grandfather – his father had of course skipped a generation – who had been beaten to death in the street for calling for Puerto Rican independence. He had just been released from a stint in prison for owning and displaying his country’s flag too. The man was a true patriot for their home.

“Well, if we had another boy he was supposed to be named after your abuelo Manuel. Never had that other boy though,” his dad finished with a laugh. “Your abuelo was thoroughly disappointed.”

His abuelo on his mom’s side seemed nice whenever he talked to him on the phone but Emilio didn’t really know the man very well. “More than when he found out his daughter was going out with a banger?”

“ _Former_ banger,” his father snorted in annoyance.

“Bet he was hard to win over,” Mr. Kavinsky yawned. “Timotei was a pain in the ass to get on my side. And I worked for that man too. Christ, he knew me and yet he still made it difficult.”

 _Probably didn’t know that you’re abusive…_ Did Mr. Dobrev ever know? Know that his son-in-law hit his favorite grandchild? In all actuality, Emilio really hoped not because then if he did, it meant he knew a child was being hurt and he never did anything about it.

Emilio held Joseph’s grandfather in high regard; he didn’t want to knock the man down a few posts. But if he did know, then he deserved it. No one should be let off the hook for hurting people. Mr. Kavinsky was lucky no cop had ever been able to get evidence on him for torture or murder.

One day, karma would catch up with Ivo Kavinsky.

Come back with a vengeance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')  
> Стринка (strínka) – a father’s brother’s wife


	153. Chapter 152

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> It's only three days in and I'm already exhausted from Inktober and behind. Why couldn't it just be penciltober and save me from suffering?
> 
> So Goldfish, when I said it'll be explained next chpt, it's actually next next chpt. My bad. So Thursday for your question
> 
> We've pretty much reached the end of the vacay and what better way to spend it than in SeaWorld!  
> Enjoy!
> 
> _“Hotel soap is probably gross.”_

“Whoa…” Joseph whispered to himself as his hand grazed the top of a type of reef shark. He was _touching_ _a shark_. Actually touching. How awesome was that?

Absolutely insane.

“Be hilarious if it eats your hand off.”

“No one likes your jokes,” Joseph snorted in annoyance to his father and his stupid thoughts. That would not be cool. For that matter, if that did happen, his father would probably have a panic attack and then sue Sea World for everything they had.

With their vacation coming to a close, they had saved what they considered to be the best for last. They only had two days left in San Diego although the last day didn’t really count because it was just a few hours and then they had to catch their flight. So today was going to be spent on Sea World and tomorrow would be one last beach day.

It had been relaxing, amazing, and just wonderful. Getting away from Jersey had been nice although, surprisingly, Joseph could actually say he missed it. He missed being able to walk wherever he wanted and, of course, home. Peanut was being taken care of by abuela and bába – they’d take turns on who checked up on her for the day – but he was dying to see her himself.

If Joseph could only pick one thing he’d miss about San Diego, it’d definitely be sharing a room with Emilio. Here, they had all the privacy they wanted for whatever they wanted. Obviously, no sex had happened but there was a whole lot of kissing.

Among other things that they could manage while still keeping their clothes on.

Joseph was totally ready for clothes off. He’d suggest it too if he didn’t already know that Emilio would probably die of a heart attack or something from just the words. His boyfriend definitely wouldn’t be ready for clothes off stuff for a while.

Bummer.

But he’d deal. The last thing he wanted to do was pressure or rush Emilio into something he wasn’t ready for yet. Joseph could wait; they had years in their future.

Sadly, when they got back to Jersey, they’d have to resort to complete secrecy all over again. Even the privacy of Joseph’s room would be dangerous. Emilio’s house would be the obvious solution but it’d be rare where they’d actually get some alone time. The apartment was small and there was always someone home.

Having a secret relationship was difficult but at least it meant Joseph got what and who he wanted.

A boy and Emilio.

He’d just have to deal with the secrecy for the time being. If he was lucky – though he never was – one day it wouldn’t have to be a secret. They’d get to be happy and not have to worry about a certain someone causing the world to come crashing down.

If he was lucky.

Too bad he was never the lucky type.

Sighing away these thoughts because he really didn’t need to be ruining Sea World for himself, Joseph stretched out to feel another shark in the shallow pool followed by a stingray. Thank God he was getting taller or else he’d never be able to reach without soaking his entire arm. Right now, he was a very nice and solid 5’ 4 ½’’. The half was very important to include. Everyone in his family kept their prayers going; Joseph prayed to be at least Andrey’s height, his mom hoped for him to reach average at the minimum, and his father set his hopes high in 6’ 2’’.

All three of those were good enough for him. As long as he didn’t get stuck where he currently was, Joseph was totally down.

Emilio, however, wasn’t. He didn’t want Joseph to grow anymore – it was driving his boyfriend insane that his height was suddenly failing him. Since they had discovered Joseph was taller, Emilio hadn’t grown an inch. The sexy bromilio was stuck at 5’ 2’’ and didn’t seem to be going anywhere any time soon.

But that was cool with Joseph. Having a short boyfriend was something he liked. Did that mean he had a type? He wasn’t sure but while a lot of tall guys caught his eye, Joseph preferred shorter ones. Maybe it was because he had spent his life wishing he was taller than someone and didn’t want his significant other to be looming over him like everyone else always seemed to.

“Let’s go see the touch pool,” Andrey said while looking at the map. They had split up because it was easier that way and everyone would meet up later to watch the orca show and have lunch. Their group was the guys – himself, his father, Emilio and his dad, and Andrey and tetíncho Yulian. The only boy who had been excluded was Timotei because none of them were excited about dragging the two-year-old around with them.

Shaking the water off his arm, Joseph leaned over the map in his cousin’s hands. “Sounds good. That’s the ecosystem one, right? With the snails and urchins and stuff?”

“Urchin is which one again?” His father asked. Animals weren’t the man’s expertise, especially if they weren’t your typical zoo or farm animals.

“’Member that time we got invited to that sushi restaurant by the Yakuza?” tetíncho Yulian questioned as they began walking to their next stop. His leg had been better the past few days but he brought his cane regardless because of all the walking his tired leg would face today.

“What about it?”

“That mushy looking thing that you asked about that was on top of one of the sushi was an urchin. And then I showed them to you in the glass aquarium they kept by the door.” Joseph was kind of jealous he didn’t get to go to some fancy sushi restaurant with Japanese gangsters. It sounded like an experience.

Forehead scrunched in thought, his father replied “You told me the mushy thing was uni.”

“Uni is the gonads of the urchin.”

“Oh okay. So they’re the spiny ball things then.”

Joseph was still staring at his father with complete feeling of just ‘ew’ even though it seemed like they were done with the conversation. “You ate urchin gonads? That’s nasty.”

Rolling his eyes, his father snorted “Why’s it nasty? It’s just an animal part. No different than anything else. The texture was a bit weird but actually not bad in flavor.”

“But you ate urchin _gonads._ Urchin sex parts. That’s just gross.”

Shrugging, his father replied “Why? It’s no different to eating all that other stuff.”

“What other stuff?”

“Do you remember,” Mr. Vidal started, “When I took you to eat criadillas?”

Yeah, he remembered. They had been delicious; they were fried somethings.

Somethings…

“What did you feed me?” he asked accusingly with his eyes narrowed. It didn’t help his nerves that Emilio had this huge grin on his face. He obviously knew what they had eaten.

With a ginormous smile on his face, Mr. Vidal answered “Bull testicles.”

Abruptly freezing in his tracks, Joseph felt his stomach churning and his face distorting into disgust as his father and Emilio laughed. Still feeling horribly grossed out, Joseph tried to give a glare but couldn’t make it override his disgusted look. “You fed me bull balls?”

Snorting in laughter, Mr. Vidal said “I didn’t ‘feed’ them to you. I ask if you’d like to try them from my plate and you said sure. And I distinctly remember you loving them.”

Practically gagging and wishing he could get it out of his system even though he had eaten them months ago, Joseph cringed. He had eaten bull testicles. _Bull balls._

Oh Jesus.

“Stop being so dramatic,” his father laughed. “They taste good.”

“You people are just gross,” tetíncho Yulian muttered under his breath. Joseph was glad at least someone was on his side.

“Pft, if you were really Bulgarian besides for in blood, you’d actually know what good food is. American culture is so wasteful. Offal are delicious if they’re done right.”

Clutching his shirt over his stomach, Joseph asked hesitantly because he wasn’t really sure if he wanted the answer or not “What else have you people secretly fed me?”

Andrey stared at him like he was partially stupid. “You love shkembe chobra.”

His stomach did a little queasy turn. He did love shkembe chobra; it was one of his favorite soups. His mother made it every few months and because it was done by her hand, he never figured of asking what was in it. Joseph just knew that everything she cooked was amazing. “Oh God, what’s in it?”

“You seriously don’t know?” Andrey was the opposite of tetíncho and loved trying anything, even offal apparently.

“No. What has plagued my stomach secretly disguised as deliciousness?”

Laughing, Andrey responded “Tripe, my friend. Sometimes intestines depending on what mayko or tétka put that day.”

The gagging returned in full force. How could something so delicious be tripe or intestines? What kind of world did he live in? “Oh God.”

Reaching the touch pool, they walked in as his father asked “So, what? Now you’re not going to eat it anymore? You love it. I guess now is a good time as any to tell you that you’ve also eaten brain and tongue. Also liver.”

Emilio was laughing as Joseph’s mouth turned into an overexaggerated disgusted frown. “Why would you people do that to me?”

Shaking his head, his father snorted “We didn’t do shit. You ate it; we didn’t shove it down your throat.”

“You’ve also had brain tacos,” Mr. Vidal added ‘helpfully.’ “You loved those too.”

“Oh God,” he visibly cringed in disgust. He should ask more often what he was eating before shoving down his throat extra happily. His appetite was rare in actually being hungry but trying new foods was something Joseph was always for, especially when the food turned out to be delicious.

But it was _offal._

Ew just on principle.

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore,” Joseph muttered as he stepped up to the touch pool. Sticking his hand into the water, he rubbed along a beautiful sea star. “Did you guys know that it’s more appropriate to call starfish sea stars because they aren’t fish. The name ‘starfish’ furthers that misconception.”

Emilio ran his finger alongside Joseph’s on the sea star. “What are they?”

“Echinoderms. They’re invertebrates and the adults have radial symmetry.” Joseph traced out the sea stars legs from the center to show what he meant. “Cool, huh?”

“The coolest,” Emilio murmured as he examined the sea star closer. “Pick it up. Don’t they have stomachs on the bottom?”

Gingerly grabbing the sea star from its middle, he lifted it and flipped it over. Pointing with his other hand, he showed Emilio the mouth. “That’s its mouth and what’s really cool is that sea stars can actually push out their stomach to eat.”

“Push out their stomachs?” his father asked as he came and hovered above them. “From its mouth?”

“Yup,” Joseph answered as he set the animal back down into the shallow pool. “Awesome, right?”

His father was looking slightly amazed as he nodded. “Awesome as fuck.”

“Let’s check out the Wild Arctic next,” Emilio said as he looked at one of the big maps.

“I always wanted to see a beluga. They have them, don’t they?”

They all turned to stare at tetíncho Yulian who was still looking at a sea anemone. He must have felt their gazes because a second later he turned his head, his eyes running over them curiously. “What?”

“The fuck is a beluga?” his father asked. Joseph didn’t expect his father to know and he sure didn’t expect tetíncho to know.

“A whale.”

With a laugh, Mr. Vidal snorted “I seriously didn’t think you even knew what a beluga was.”

Rolling his eyes, his tetíncho replied “I’ve read Baby Beluga at least a thousand times. I have four kids, guys. I know baby books like the back of my hand.”

Looking to Mr. Vidal curiously, Emilio asked “What was my favorite book?”

“The Monster at the End of This Book,” Mr. Vidal smiled nostalgically. “Staring Lovable, Furry Old Grover. Me or mama had to read it every night no matter what. I used to have it memorized and did different voices for Grover and Elmo.”

Joseph wondered what his favorite was. There was no point, however, in asking his father. The man wouldn’t have read Joseph books when he was little. Or if he had, then it was probably by a sense of guilt or force; his father wouldn’t remember regardless.

They had no relationship then. Joseph had tons of memories of things with his mother from when he was little but before the age of almost eight, there were no happy ones with his father.

And if there had been, they had been erased from all the terrible ones.

Looking to Andrey, tetíncho Yulian answered the unasked question. “Tale of Peter Rabbit. One time I wanted to read you something else and you cried for a half hour. Literally none stop. To the point where my ears were going to explode.”

“You should have just read me the book then,” Andrey laughed.

“I did!” tetíncho Yulian proclaimed emphatically. “Twice while you were bawling your eyes out. You were just so offended that I had tried to read something else and wouldn’t get over it.”

Jealousy burned within him. Horrible fiery jealousy pitted low in his stomach and constricting his heart. It wasn’t Andrey’s fault but all Joseph could thing was about how unfair this all was. There were no childhood memories for him to laugh over with his father. No bedtime stories, no giggles, nothing.

Besides abuse and pain.

Flicking a quick furtive glance in his father’s direction just to see if maybe he could decipher what the man was thinking about all this talk, Joseph was shocked when he actually _could_ read his expression. His father was a man who never showed his emotions; who hated showing them. A blank slate was his thing. It was the protection he formed for himself against everyone. However, his father’s slate was far from blank at the moment.

There was guilt written all over him as he ground his lip between his teeth. _Is he thinking what I’m thinking?_

But there was no time to ponder over this right now. “We should go check out those belugas then!” Joseph said quickly before anyone wondered or asked what his favorite story growing up was. There would be awkwardness and then embarrassment and then Joseph knew his day would be ruined for good.

He hated how there was quick understanding in his uncle’s eyes. How the man knew exactly why Joseph was rushing them; it bothered him to great heights. Higher than a fucking skyscraper. “We should, shouldn’t we? We have lots more to see too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')  
> Стринка (strínka) – a father’s brother’s wife


	154. Chapter 153

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> Nothing to say today!  
> (everyone's like 'yesssss')
> 
> Enjoy ^.^
> 
> _“You probably just fulfilled one of his dreams.”_

He racked his brain for anything and everything. Even just a miniscule detail.

Nothing.

_How can I not know what book Joseph loved?_

Fuck.

Guilt gnawed at his heart. He didn’t know what his _only_ child’s favorite story book was when he was little. Ivo wasn’t Raul to have a fucking monster book memorized or Yulian to know every single baby book that ever existed because he kept popping kids. No, he was stupid ass Ivo who had _one kid_ and yet not a single memory existed. How sad was that?

At least, not a single worthwhile memory popped into his head. Sure, there were a couple of decent ones here and there. The times he held Joseph as a baby, the first time he got him to fall asleep all on his own, or that time they played hide and seek in the house and Joseph had shrieked so happily when Ivo had found him.

That one could actually be filed as one of the happier ones in the section where the memory of when he held Joseph the very first time in the hospital was.

But the rest of them? The majority of them?

Not a single positive memory. All of those ones that came to his mind were the times where he was too much like his father.

And he hated that.

Ivo had been everything he swore he’d never be. Everything he had spent his childhood, adolescence, and adulthood before Joseph was born swearing he’d never become.

Had he ever even read to Joseph when he was little? The only times that came to his mind were right after he was kidnapped; when Ivo had actually started to really care and want something better. When he realized how horrible life would be if he didn’t have this beautiful smart boy in it.

 _Dammit…_ Ivo knew exactly why Joseph rushed them to the Arctic exhibit. His son didn’t want anyone asking questions that he had no answers for. _I should know this._

Pulling out his phone as they walked into the Wild Arctic, Ivo texted Vesela who would have the answer.

_Dont think this is weird but what was Josephs fav kid book_

It was plain depressing that he had to text his wife to find out. What kind of father was he? Definitely not Timotei level.

Yosef level.

And that was something he wasn’t proud of.

 _“Am I not good enough for you, Ivo? You wish you could be half of what I was for you,”_ his father chimed in his head _. “You’ll never amount to me. All you’ll ever be is my disappointment. You’re mother’s son.”_

Breathing deep, he ignored the condescending voice in his mind. He didn’t need this now. He wouldn’t deal with it now.

Letting out his breath and patting his hand nervously with his phone as he waited for a reply from Vesela, Ivo followed their group up to the glass. “Which are we at first? The whales?” Who knew belugas were a thing? Not him. His animal knowledge sucked.

“This is them,” Joseph replied as he stuck himself to the glass. He pointed excitedly at two white funky blob things with fat ass foreheads. “There!”

Leaning closer, Ivo narrowed his eyes in examination. “Why the bulgy forehead?”

“It’s because of their melon.”

“Their…what?” Andrey asked in confusion, his forehead scrunching tight. Who would’ve thought that the kid would actually kind of grow into his ears? They were still his huge ass ears but they didn’t seem to stick out as much as they used to. “Melon? As in not a fruit, right?”

“Right,” Joseph laughed while rolling his eyes at the stupidity. “The melon helps with communication, sounds, and echolocation. It’s pretty much their sound lens. It’s found in all toothed whales actually.”

“Huh,” Raul murmured to himself as he looked closely at the white whale swimming by. “Melon.”

Ivo was about to comment but stopped when his phone vibrated. Quickly typing in his password, he opened the text.

_Goodnight moon & anything Curious George_

_Maybs that’s why he’s so curious ;)_

Biting his lip, he wondered how he was supposed to relay the news to Joseph. His kid would know in seconds that he had to ask for the answer. But Ivo had a feeling that Joseph was feeling a little left out from the whole conversation.

Crouching down so he and Joseph were relatively the same height and acting like he was just watching the belugas, Ivo was about to speak before Joseph beat him. “It’s not a big deal that you don’t know my favorite book,” came the quiet words. But from his tone, Ivo could tell that it actually was a big deal. A huge deal that came with the sound of hurt.

Sighing, he murmured so only their ears would catch the words “It is a big deal. I should know that. And my apology won’t do shit but I’m sorry that I don’t. But um… mayko says their Goodnight Moon and anything to do with Curious George. In case you were wondering and stuff.” God, he felt so guilty right now.

“You asked?” Joseph said in quiet surprise.

“Yeah. I’m embarrassed like fuck. I should know that.”

Turning his head away from the belugas to look at him, Joseph replied “Now you do. Thank you.”

Everyone always pointed out how similar he and Joseph were. How alike whether in looks or personality. But if there was one thing that Joseph trumped him at, it was forgiveness. He never held anything against anyone. Here he was, upset that he wasn’t like his cousin and friend and yet he was more than willing to let it go.

Let go how much of a shitty father he was. _Is?_

Hopefully it was ‘was’ and not ‘is.’

“When we get back to Jersey, we sure as hell are reading those books together.”

A smile grew on his face from the way Joseph broke into laughter. Everyone gave them curious glances but didn’t ask. “Making up for lost time?”

Pulling Joseph’s head over to him and pressing a kiss to his hair, Ivo whispered “Making up for wasted time.”

Placing his own kiss to Ivo’s temple, Joseph replied “Sounds good to me.”

Nodding in the direction of Andrey and Emilio who were further down, Ivo said “Go on and educate those two idiots. They probably need it.” His words were met with a laugh as Joseph smiled and walked off to the other boys.

Letting out a huff of air, Ivo was relieved that the conversation went as well as it did. He felt much better than he had if the slight annoyance he was feeling at Yulian ‘casually’ stepping up beside him was ignored. “The fuck you want?”

“Do you even know how to put together coherent sentences anymore?” the other man murmured as he focused on the beluga swimming past them. “It should be ‘what the fuck do you want.’”

“Just say what you stood here for so we can move on.”

With a shrug, Yulian said quietly “Wasn’t going to say shit.”

“Bull.”

Yulian was silent for a moment before he said ever so quietly “It’s nice seeing you two getting along so well. Seeing you give a shit.”

Despite that the words were true, anger boiled low in his heart. He didn’t appreciate Yulian pointing it out. Making him feel beneath him. “I always gave a shit.”

“Fine,” Yulian snorted, “Let’s rephrase that. It’s nice seeing you give an even more of a shit. An actual decent amount of shit that you should have been giving since he was born.”

Yeah, it was. Ivo could fully agree despite that the irritation still bubbled in him from Yulian. He had always cared – dammit, Joseph was his son – but he never really put the effort forth. Just the thought of Joseph after two or three-ish pissed him off. Why exactly, he really had no clue. Like genuinely, he really had no idea why he couldn’t stand the sight of his son.

But no one besides Vesela knew the extent of how much Ivo couldn’t stand him. _Maybe Joseph too…_ No one but Vesela knew that he used to hit Joseph. Granted, there was still some hair pulling when he couldn’t control his temper but that wasn’t so bad was it? Compared to what Ivo had been through with his father, hair pulling was a walk in the park. A day lounging at the beach.

If Timotei had ever figured out that Ivo used to hurt Joseph, he would have been beyond dead. He would have lost both Vesela and Joseph along with his entire life. Hell, Timotei would probably have killed him. His father-in-law had come incredibly close to murdering him the first time Ivo had laid hands on Vesela. His own mother had been ready to kill him. She had literally blackened one side of his face and then wouldn’t speak to him for more than a month. He had gone insane, begging and begging for her to just say one word to him so he could hear it. She was all he had once Vesela had been taken from him.

As for Timotei?

He had blackened Ivo’s _body._ Landed blow after blow into him while holding him against a wall by his throat, cursing him beyond hell and back. Ivo had ended up bruised not even black and blue but just plain black all along his upper body. He pissed blood for a couple days too. When he and his bruised body had made it home, his mother watched as he changed all the while whimpering.

_Hands shaking as he tried to pull his shirt over his head, a small cry escaped his lips from the pain. His body was on fire and his neck throbbed where he now had finger-shaped bruises etched into his skin. Ivo literally could not pull off his shirt. Defeated, he dropped his shirt back how it was and glanced to his mother standing in the doorway. “Pomogni mi?” he whispered in hope. Would she answer his plea for help?_

_Flicking her gaze down his body and back up to his face, she kept her mouth closed and only raised her brow in challenge._

_Stamping down his tears and frustration, Ivo grasped his shirt by the collar and without thinking of his pain, yanked it off fast while letting out a mix of groans and whimpers. He threw it on the floor and stared back at her in defiance. “Shtastliv?” he asked in annoyance. Screw her help._

_Giving his body another once over now that she could take in all the abuse, his mother crossed her arms and said the only thing he had heard since she caught him with Vesela’s hair wrapped in his fist “I’d be happier if he had hit you harder. You deserve worse.”_

Those words alone had been worse than any beating.

Glancing to the blonde beside him, Ivo felt like if Yulian knew that Joseph had been getting hit, he’d do something about it too. Ivo didn’t know what exactly but he felt like he would. His brother-in-law was an incredibly protective sort of man. It was years ago, before they had gotten married even, that Ivo remembered when Yulian had come in to work with a black eye and broken nose.

_“The fuck happened to your ugly ass mug?”_

_Shooting daggers with just the one unswollen eye, Yulian replied “Needed to remind someone of something.”_

_Pft. As if the alcoholic frat boy could be threatening. Although, he did get away with just a black eye. Broken nose too but still not bad. “Do share. I want to send a thank you card to the guy who fixed your face for you.”_

_Ivo was surprised by the amount of anger and hate that flashed through the other man’s eyes. Sure, they didn’t get along but that was a little excessive. “If you think it’s funny that my sister’s ex was beating her, then I’ll just fucking shove you out this window. And if you don’t die from the fall, I’ll put a couple bullets in your chest.”_

_Oh. Clearing his throat, Ivo replied “Didn’t know. You’re right on this rare occasion; definitely not funny. Put him in the ground, did you?”_

The ex-boyfriend spent a week in the infirmary unit of the hospital.

People didn’t fuck with Yulian’s family and get away with it.

Another time they had been at a restaurant with Yulian’s family. It was before Timotei had died, so getting invited along to the Simeonovs was a normal thing. Stefan happened to like Timotei quite a bit and so he’d invite Vesela along to be polite. Ivo was along in the invitation by default to Stefan and Mila’s dismay.

Yulian was a second child; he had an older brother and three younger sisters. The middle of his sisters, Sofiya, was born with Down Syndrome and idolized Yulian beyond even her parents. Unlike the rest of Yulian’s relatives, she thought it was the coolest thing that her brother was like the people in The Godfather.

Two guys in the restaurant a table away were making jokes about Sofiya and her looks. Ivo hadn’t heard them himself but he remembered Vesela whispering to him in Bulgarian what they were saying. He doubted really that anyone had heard besides her because she was closest. Yulian, it seemed, had heard everything on his way back from the restroom.

Timotei paid for a broken table, dishes, and left an extra large tip in place of ‘disturbing the atmosphere of the establishment.’

You didn’t fuck with Yulian’s family and get away with it.

Joseph, he knew, was considered like one of his own kids in Yulian’s eyes.

The bastard would probably try to take him away and then come for Ivo with guns blazing.

“Joseph thinks I’m getting better,” Ivo bragged happily as they follow their group on to the next animal.

“Yeah? That’s good.” The other man looked sincerely pleased by this information.

It wasn’t that Ivo was afraid of Yulian – definitely not – but he’d prefer not to have to face him in a fight. They were practically evenly matched - well, used to be before Yulian’s leg – and it’d only end with one dead or unconscious.

Neither of those options were appealing.

“Those dudes are huge,” Emilio awed as he stared at the walruses. Andrey was nodding his head slowly as if in amazement and agreement beside him.

“Fat as fuck,” Joseph murmured from the other side of his friend. “Like hella.”

“Like you’re hella dead when we get back to the hotel,” Ivo said once he reached his foul-mouthed child. Man, if Timotei knew, he’d have yet another reason to hate on Ivo.

His son turned in surprise with his eyes huge. He probably had thought that Ivo was still trailing behind with Yulian and hadn’t caught up yet. “Oops…”

“Triple oops,” Ivo snorted as he focused on the walrus. The thing _was_ fat as fuck. It had to stay warm somehow in all that ice. “That one isn’t going to slide this time.”

Joseph’s eyes went even wider if it was even possible. “What?”

“Five minutes,” he murmured as he stared closely at the blubbery thing. It was amazing really. God’s creations were insane as fuck.

“F-Five minutes?”

“Five minutes,” Ivo repeated in full surety. He had been letting Joseph’s language slide a lot lately. Maybe that was why Joseph seemed to just let them go whenever he wanted now. Emilio wasn’t even surprised by the language use so that meant it happened often in their own time. “Try to change my mind and we’ll go for ten.”

He could literally read the ‘but’ on Joseph’s lips but his son changed his mind and frowned, turning back to the walruses. “Hotel soap is probably gross.”

Probably. “Should have thought about that before you dropped an f-bomb without a care in the world.”

“Sorry,” Joseph mumbled sullenly.

Clucking his tongue, Ivo responded “Yeah I bet you are, especially after five minutes with soap in your mouth.”

“And this is why-” Raul started.

“Shove it.” He knew exactly what words were coming.

His friend smiled knowingly as he poked Joseph in the head. “Told you there’s no reason for language like that.”

Huffing in annoyance, Joseph pointed out “It’s not like either of you didn’t speak like that at my age. And if you say you didn’t, I’m going to call bull.”

“I did,” Ivo conceded truthfully. “And you know what happened every time one of your grandparents heard? My mother would do the same as me and your mayko do and my father would slap me on the back of my head with the full intention of hurting. I got punished for it and so do you.”

For some reason, all Ivo could read in the quick flash of Emilio’s eyes was some sort of understanding. Comprehension maybe? But why? What was there to understand?

“I also would curse at your age,” Raul admitted. “But do keep in mind that at your age, I had already been in a gang for two years. I didn’t give a crap about anything really. My mom gave up trying to curb my language because she was happy that I showed up to the house once in a while. Luis had already written me off so I could care less about whatever he thought.” A heavy annoyed huff full of anger burst out of Raul’s chest as he wore a hateful look. “That bastard.”

It was an unspoken agreement between them. Raul didn’t ask questions about Ivo’s shitty father and Ivo didn’t ask about Raul’s. But right now, he couldn’t help but be curious and wish for some details.

“I was a good child,” Yulian smirked as he placed a hand on his chest. “The best.”

“Whatever Yale nerd,” Raul snorted with an eyeroll as they moved on to the polar bears. “We didn’t all come from rich privileged families. Some of us faced this thing called hardship.”

“Raul,” Yulian smiled sarcastically, “Who’s the one who’s a cripple here?”

“Fine. Hardships growing up.”

Andrey looked slightly annoyed. “You’re not a cripple; stop saying that.”

It was something similar to what Ivo had told Yulian when he had first finished rehab months ago. Yulian had grown angry and said he should go read a dictionary.

_“Trust me,” Yulian hissed in full vigor, leaning heavily on his cane. “You’ll probably find a picture of me beside it.”_

Guilt had nibbled at him; it was technically his fault. Scratch that, it was fully his fault. But there was nothing he could do about it. Ivo had gotten the best doctors, the best therapists, to see to Yulian’s leg and they all said that everything that could be done was done. He’d just have to live with it.

“Joseph,” Yulian called ahead to where he had his face pressed to the polar bear glass, “Define cripple for me.”

His focus was still on the huge stunning bears but Ivo could see a touch of resignation in Joseph’s eyes. They all knew Yulian was a cripple, they just tried not latching onto it. Tried not to mention it around the man. Sometimes though, it seemed that bothered Yulian more than if they said it to his face. “In terms of a noun and not a verb, it’s a person who is unable to walk or move properly because of disability or injury to their back or legs.”

“Emilio,” Yulian smiled. “Do you think I walk right?”

A blush tinged the boy’s cheeks as he mumbled “I wouldn’t say so, no.”

Turning back to Andrey, his brother-in-law asked “So what does that make me, Andrey?”

Frustration filled his nephew’s eyes who looked away from Yulian’s face and muttered “A cripple.”

“My thoughts exactly. Now,” Yulian said as they walked out of the Arctic exhibit, “Where to next?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')  
> Стринка (strínka) – a father’s brother’s wife


	155. Chapter 154

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> Can I just constantly cry about Inktober on here? Do you guys mind? I know I don't have to do it but I'm nothing if not stubborn. I literally finally finished day 2 at midnight on Friday. I'm sooo backed up. My fault for doing a technique I've never done before altho I think it came out pretty good.
> 
> So I'm convinced that the Yakuza kidnapped Hatty and Saffooo got lost somewhere in England and was eaten by sheep. I don't like to call ppl out and seem like I'm pressuring y'all to talk or anything but I genuinely wonder if something happened to ppl when they disappear for awhile (like BSymph too). Hope y'all are fine.
> 
> Tuesday's chpt will be the last of San Diego! If there's any sort of scene or scenario that you would have liked to see in their vacation, don't forget Snapshots are always open for requests on anything from anytime in this huge ass story. Even before this story, sort of like prequel stuff. That's awesome too. Or a chpt or part of a chpt in someone else's pov. All's good, guys.
> 
> Also Hatty's Snapshot on Daniel, Casey, and Ivo will be put up that day! I didn't forget.  
> So enjoy today and I'll see you guys Tuesday
> 
> Oh and if anyone's curious, I gave inwaytodeepopps two quotes from when Ivo finds out about Joseph in the comments on Thursday's chpt. 
> 
> _“I want to beat someone with a cane!”_

After meeting up with everyone and catching lunch together with only a glass separating them and an orca, they once again went their separate ways. Joseph had found it weird when his mother had handed his father some bag without anyone explaining what it was but he worked on ignoring it. It was probably nothing important anyways.

“Did you guys know that dolphins can move one eye at a time?” Joseph said as they walked to check out the extremely intelligent animal. He wished they’d walk faster; he felt like he had to go slow-mo for these people.

The only one who deserved that was tetíncho Yulian. Joseph would walk a step a minute for that man if he needed it.

Especially after the whole ‘cripple’ discussion. Joseph wondered if deep down, his uncle held hate in his heart for his father because it was his relatives who made him that way. He knew tetíncho’s family did.

_“Yulian, why the hell are you on a cane?” strínka Tatiana asked as they walked into the house. She obviously wasn’t actually Joseph’s aunt but it was respectful of him to call her that because she was an adult. She was the oldest of his uncle’s sisters._

_Tetíncho Yulian’s family had invited for a big dinner at Mr. and Mrs. Simeonov’s home, saying they all hadn’t gotten together in a long time. His uncle had been happy about the invitation because of that same reason. They didn’t all get together often._

_But then he remembered his leg._

_And what type of hell he’d get for it. For not telling them anything either._

_So he invited Joseph’s family so he’d have Joseph’s father take the heat for him. His father of course knew this but he accepted regardless. In his mind, it was the least he could do for him._

_“Well,” his uncle started after he hugged her tight and placed a kiss to her head, “I got in a fight with these huge tigers and-”_

_“Don’t give me garbage,” she threatened. Although, Joseph didn’t think the woman could be threatening no matter how hard she tried. His mother may be short and thin but you could literally feel the power that radiated off her. Strínka Tatiana was as tall as his mother but looked like a wispy feather next to her. Her huge doe eyes didn’t help either._

_“Yulian!”_

_They turned to watch strínka Sofiya bounce over to his tetíncho. She was shorter than his mother and fuller with a mop of light brown hair tied atop her head. As a child, he had understood that she was different but it had never made sense to him until recently when he learned about Down Syndrome. Joseph didn’t think it stopped her from much though._

_Holding out his arms for her with a huge smile on his face, his tetíncho hugged her tight when she reached him. “Hey Sofiya. How are you?”_

_“Good,” she smiled as they broke apart. Her eyes caught on his cane. Joseph had it in his mind that he wanted to buy him a really fancy one for his birthday. If he was going to use one often, then he should have a totally badass one instead this plain old black boring metal. “A cane? Why?”_

_“I’d love to know as well,” Mrs. Simeonov said in concern as she walked over after kissing her grandchildren and giving Joseph a polite smile. Her relationship with her son was once more healed as they had decided to forgive and forget their grievances. She hugged her son and asked “Why the cane, Yulian?”_

_“Well, he was fighting these huge tigers,” his father started with a laugh. “One of them happened to be extra brutal.”_

_“You didn’t fight tigers,” strínka Sofiya snorted. “Then you’d have bite scars.”_

_“And here I thought I’d get away with my lie,” tetíncho Yulian laughed. “Went and ruined it for me.”_

_“Answer please,” Mrs. Simeonov said firmly. “You’re too young to be needing a cane which means you’re injured. What happened?”_

_Sighing in defeat because he knew this would get ugly, his tetíncho replied “Can we at least sit first? I ache.”_

_Letting out a sigh herself, Mrs. Simeonov led the way to the couches with them following. She didn’t even give them a chance to get comfortable before she pressed “So?”_

_Shrugging while looking at his hands, he muttered “Injured. No biggie really.” It amazed Joseph how this powerful mobster was reduced to a chastised child by his mother._

_“You’re on a freaking cane,” strínka Tatiana pointed out, sitting beside her mother. “That’s a biggie. What the hell.”_

_“Sofiya,” his father said with a smile. “Do you remember the part in Reservoir Dogs with Mr. Blonde and Nash?”_

_Joseph didn’t know the movie but she must because her face lit up into a smile and she stared at her brother in awe. “Were you Nash? That’s so awesome.”_

_His uncle broke into laughter as he responded “You are the only one in the world who would decide that being tortured is awesome. I was Nash but, thankfully, unlike him, I lived.”_

_Mrs. Simeonov’s face went blank in seconds. “Tortured.”_

_“Yeahh…” tetíncho drawled. “Stuff happens.”_

_“Stuff happens?” strínka Tatiana repeated incredulously. “That’s not a joke, Yulian.”_

_“Far from it,” he replied with a hardness tinging his eyes. It definitely wasn’t a joke; he would know. “But it happened and that’s that. I’m alive, aren’t I?”_

_“Thank God,” tétka Nikol murmured to herself while smoothing down a tuft of Timotei’s hair that was sticking up._

_“Why weren’t we told exactly?” Strínka Tatiana turned her hard gaze to his father, “This is your fault, isn’t it?”_

_Rolling his eyes and resting his arm across the back of the couch, his father snorted “I didn’t make him get kidnapped. Shit happens. Part of the business. But I did get him back so that counts for something.”_

_“Technically, Lazar brought me back,” tetíncho Yulian pointed out._

_“Whatever. I was working on it.”_

_“My son was kidnapped and I had no knowledge?” Mrs. Simeonov said furiously, clutching the hem of her blouse tight. “And what were you going to do, Ivo, if he had died? Called me after the funeral and said ‘oh sorry, I forgot that you happen to be his family?’”_

_His father was starting to look annoyed. “I didn’t have the time to call you. Time was of the essence and notifying you was a waste of it. My focus was on getting back the father of my nephews and nieces, not whether if I was going to hurt your feelings.” Turning his head slightly away, he mumbled “Not that I ever care about that anyways.”_

_“Very well,” Mr. Simeonov said from where he stood behind the couch, having joined them in the middle of the conversation and ignoring that last sentence. “You wait until you get him back. Then what? Not tell us that he’s injured? Severely? You do not notify us that he was in a hospital?”_

_“I wasn’t,” tetíncho interrupted. “I stayed home. Well, mostly home because we had to move for some time but that’s not important.”_

_“I feel like we’re getting half a story,” chícho Simeon noted. Joseph was thankful on his uncle’s behalf that he was the second son and not the first so he wouldn’t suffer such a terrible fate of names. When Joseph had first learned chícho Simeon’s name, he thought it was hilarious that the man was Simeon Simeonov._

_His cousins’ grandparents hadn’t appreciated his laughter._

_“Plus,” Mr. Simeonov added, “Why the hell, if you were tortured, were you not taken to a hospital?”_

_“It was too dangerous. But that’s not important either.”_

_Looking exhausted with the whole line of conversation, his father stretched and sighed. “Look, he was kidnapped and tortured for a few days. Does the soul good; not so much the body.” He raised up his hand to stop chícho Simeon who had opened his mouth from saying anything. “But I got him the best doctors and he’s seen the best therapists. There’s not much else we can do.”_

_“My son is a cripple because of you,” Mrs. Simeonov hissed, her face red and angry with a vicious flame burning through her eyes._

_Shadows crossed a few of their faces because they hadn’t forgotten that fact. But his father replied strongly “That just makes him cool.”_

_“Do you ever take anything seriously, you horrible excuse for a human being?”_

_“Excuse you,” his mother said in full offense. “Do you mind?”_

_“My son-”_

_Sitting up and with her eyes flashing, his mother cut in “Your son is a grown ass man who has been in this business for about two decades, Mila. Who knows how it works; he knows how it goes. Stuff happens; it’s practically what you sign up for. He’s now in good health and safe. So he has to use a cane once in a while. Big ass deal. At least he’s alive and with us and those that brought hell upon him are no longer around. You should thank my husband for that.”_

_Joseph’s stomach churned as he remembered a detail Damyan had so kindly given him about Ilarion’s death._

_“And the Italians,” his father laughed. “Those bastards took all the satisfaction out.”_

_“Did you torture them?” strínka Sofiya asked excitedly. The woman loved all things gruesome and gang or crime related._

_“Sofiya,” her sister hissed. “Don’t say stuff like that.” It was a good thing the last sister was late or else she’d be coming down on their heads too. Strínka Victoria had a nasty attitude and was generally just mean for the fun of it._

_Pretty much the complete opposites of her sisters._

_“I will never forgive you for this,” Mrs. Simeonov snarled with loads of hate at his father. “Amongst the worst things Yulian has ever done, getting close to you is one of them.”_

_With a side smirk and his eyes sparkling, his father replied “Dear Mila, you have no idea what the worst things Yulian has done are.”_

“Freaky,” Andrey snorted.

“Worry about the freakiness later,” his father called. If anyone was fast, it was the man way ahead of them. “And pick up the pace. You guys are so fucking slow.”

“I hadn’t realized we need to rush?” Mr. Vidal called back, curiosity in his tone.

“Now you do. Now rush.”

Joseph picked up his pace despite his shorter legs in order to catch up to his father. “Why are we rushing?”

“Because I don’t want to be late.”

“Late?”

He never got his answer though, because his father continued walking until they reached the dolphins. Attention catching on the stunning animals, Joseph forgot about why they were rushing. “Wow…”

Emilio had caught up and was now standing beside him. “Double wow, broseph. This is so awesome.”

“And it’s about to get even more awesome,” his father declared triumphantly.

“Oh?”

Waiting until the rest of their group caught up, his father finally revealed the reason he was rushing. “You three,” he said, glancing between Joseph, Emilio, and Andrey, “Get to get in the water with them.”

Time literally stilled as Joseph processed these words. He could feel his eyes growing to the width of the sun. “I’m sorry, did you just say we get to get in the water with them? Like touch them and…” There was no way? Did parks and stuff do that? Joseph was about ready to die of a heart attack right now.

Smirking like he just won the hugest competition in the world, his father replied “Like touch them and get in the water. Feed them too.”

His jaw dropped and his heart picked up speed. “I get to feed a dolphin?” There really were miracles in the world.

“Stop making me repeat myself.”

“It’s not the animal nerd’s fault,” Mr. Vidal laughed. “You probably just fulfilled one of his dreams.”

That was an understatement.

Turning his head to look at the dolphins, Emilio asked hesitantly “Is…the water deep?”

Right. There was that.

He was doing far better than before. The amazing bromilio could do some laps but not that well. Emilio also couldn’t tread water. If he was a D before, he was probably only a C now. He still needed a lot more time before he’d be earning himself an A.

Shrugging, his father answered “About chest height. So you can still feel the floor under your feet. No worries, kid, you’ll be fine.”

Nervousness oozed out of Emilio but he only nodded. “Okay, I think. Chest height. I can do that.”

“Cool ‘cause I already paid. No refunds this late in the game.”

“We can’t have you losing out then,” Emilio laughed.

“How much?” Mr. Vidal asked with a raised brow. They all knew it had been coming the minute his father mentioned money. It always did.

With a vicious eye roll, his father snorted “Can I just pay for something without you getting something stuck up your ass about it for once?”

“Ivo, you’ve paid for literally everything since we got here. I’m sorry for being a considerate person who doesn’t like to use people and their excessive riches, especially when said person is currently rebuilding his livelihood from the ground up.”

“Hey, hey,” tetíncho Yulian interrupted. “I put money into that livelihood, thank you. Give me some credit.”

Joseph didn’t have time for this garbage right now. There were far more important things to be done at the moment. “Guys, squabble later. I have dolphins to feed.”

“I agree,” Andrey supplied. He was bouncing a little on the balls of his feet, face bright with excitement. “Let’s go.”

Raising his hands in defense, his father notified “It wasn’t me who started the delay. It was Mr. Banger over there being annoying like he constantly is.”

“Oh please,” Mr. Vidal grumbled with his arms crossed. “I just don’t like handouts, alright? I don’t even take money from my mother who lives with me. I don’t let her pay for anything or give me anything despite the fact that sometimes I really need it. I don’t let my siblings give me money even though it’s flowing from their ears. I make my own way and I prefer it that way, thank you.”

“It’s a fucking gift.” Looking slightly exasperated, his father added “Why can’t you just accept generosity like a normal person? If I wanna get something, it’s always ‘I want to pay’ or ‘I’m paying you back’ or ‘it’s a loan.’ Like seriously, stop giving me headaches. Just take what’s offered like a smart person.”

“Guys,” Joseph cut in. “Dolphins.”

“Let’s just leave these annoyances and go,” tetíncho Yulian snorted as he began walking towards the building where they probably gave their reservations or whatever. “Sheesh.”

“Double sheesh,” Joseph agreed as he followed with his cousin and friend behind him.

“They fight like an old married couple,” Emilio laughed.

“Whatever,” his father muttered from behind them as he came up to give their tickets. “You people are just so fucking annoying.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')  
> Стринка (strínka) – a father’s brother’s wife


	156. Chapter 155

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> So new Snapshot today! Ivo, Daniel, Casey. Good line up, I think. It fits after this chpt and before the next. That's actually a big timespan because this chpt is like late July and the next chpt is Oct/Nov but yeah. Enjoy that.
> 
> Nothing else for today I think. Enjoy the end of the vacation and don't forget if you want something, just ask. It could literally be a prompt as short as 'Vesela' and 'dog' and I will make you a story out of it.
> 
> _"My beautiful little boy is becoming a man and that is just depressing.”_

“Holy crap,” Joseph whispered as he slid his hand along the dolphin’s head.

Touching a fucking dolphin.

Not a reef shark or a sea star.

But a dolphin.

“Pretty amazing, right?” the trainer beside him asked. The guy seemed nice enough but Joseph would have preferred being around a woman instead. It was nothing personal; the guy didn’t even seem that old but still. Men still kind of made him nervous sometimes.

“Really is,” he replied, resting his hand on the dolphin’s head. Right where his melon was, actually. The animal’s skin was cool and almost soft under his touch. Nice and smooth as the dolphin bumped him with its nose. “Your job must be awesome.”

The trainer laughed and said “It kind of is. Definitely better than any sort of food job or something. You a fan of animals?”

“Oh yeah. I’m going to be a veterinarian.”

“Nice! Great career choice, kid.”

“Yeah, I know.”

Laughing, the trainer handed him a small slippery fish. “Here you go. Feed him up!”

Taking the fish from the guy, Joseph waggled it at the dolphin. “See how awesome I am? I brought you lunch like a good dude.” The dolphin opened its long mouth happily – or what Joseph assumed to be happily – flashing all those shiny teeth before Joseph dropped the fish in. “So. Cool.”

There was nothing that he could complain about right now.

Well, except maybe this ridiculous wetsuit he had to wear atop swim shorts that constricted him in ways that he definitely didn’t appreciate.

That was what had been in the bag. Very, very constricting swim shorts.

Then there was the added wetsuit and Joseph’s package was at risk of suffocation. If the guys could actually breathe and stuff.

Once he ran out of both time and food for probably the most amazing experience of his life, Joseph padded back to the changing room while splashing along in the water, finding Emilio at the door. “It’s so awesome. You’re gonna love it, bromilio.”

“It’s not going to eat my hand off, is it?”

“Don’t be stupider than you already are,” Joseph laughed.

“Ouch,” Emilio smiled with an eye roll.

Going on his way as Emilio went his own to enjoy some time with an amazing animal, Joseph went to the locker where his clothes and a towel were and opened it up. Sitting down on the bench, he reached behind himself and yanked on the zipper. He couldn’t get it down all the way but he figured he did enough as he yanked as hard as he could to get his arm out. The second arm was easy but once he tried to pull it off his hips and the stupid constricting swim shorts, Joseph had a problem.

He couldn’t do it.

It was probably because it was wet.

Such a fucking hassle.

“Do you want me to pull from the ankles?” Andrey laughed as he came up to him, dressed in his own suit. “You look like your struggling there.”

“Shut up,” he snorted before he stuck out a leg. “Pull.”

They were silent as they worked together to take the stupid thing off. Once it was done, Andrey sat beside him and said quietly “I’ve been meaning to ask you something.”

“Hmm,” he hummed while toweling himself dry. Sitting in these stupid shorts made him feel ridiculous but he just tried to imagine that he was in his underwear. For some weird reason, he was more comfortable imagining that then dealing with the truth.

“Why do you like guys?”

Freezing as he was drying his leg, Joseph whispered “We’re not talking about this. Especially not now.” What if someone walked in?

Specifically, what if his father walked in?

Andrey looked confused and had a brow raised. “I’m just curious.”

Huffing as he finished drying himself and dropped the towel beside him, Joseph murmured “Not here.” How did he not understand this? How seriously dangerous it was to be talking about stuff like this?

But, apparently, he did understand as he replied quietly “They’re out watching Emilio not die.”

Clenching his jaw, Joseph went back to drying himself even though he was pretty much done. He needed something to do with his hands. “I just do.”

“Well, okay, I’m not saying you don’t,” Andrey said reassuringly as though he might be thinking that Joseph was taking offense from the question. He wasn’t but it just wasn’t the time to be analyzing shit. “But like…how is it? Why not girls? What makes seeing someone different?”

Joseph felt like these were questions that Emilio should be answering because he was so good at this. Not him and his tentatively accepted sexuality. “I just…” he shrugged with his loss of words, “I just like how guys look, I guess. Girls are pretty but they’re…they’re girls. They’re just sort of… I don’t know. I have no answer.”

Andrey looked like he was thinking on this before he offered “Maybe it’s because they’re manly? Like hard edges and stuff? Instead of soft and curvy? Square instead of circle, maybe?”

 _Square instead of circle…_ Joseph was about to mock his cousin and the stupid phrase that just came out of his mouth but then…

But then he thought about the inner meaning to it.

Squares instead of circles.

Maybe that was it? Squares were made up of hard lines and had walls. Things that protected you, kept you safe. Circles were very obviously round. Curves didn’t make walls; curves couldn’t protect you. Maybe Joseph loved the way guys looked because that’s where safety lay. True, his mother was a very strong woman but who did she always seem to bend backwards for?

His father.

A square.

Safety, at least in his life, came in the form of men. In manliness. Ironically, it came in the form of his father. Definitely in his grandfather. Tetíncho Yulian. Mr. Vidal. Andrey keeping his secrets for him.

Emilio for accepting him. Emilio for loving him.

There was the possibility that he was just pulling threads here but maybe this was it. Maybe squares were his love because it’s what kept him protected. Safe from harm.

Or he was just overanalyzing everything.

But he couldn’t deny the way being pressed up against Emilio’s lean body turned him on. With Alicia…it took a little more work. Her softness hadn’t done it for him the way Emilio’s edges did. There was also that Emilio smelled like dude. Sure, it sounded stupid said like that but to Joseph, there was a difference. Guys just had this smell to them.

And Joseph loved it.

Whatever the reason he loved guys was – maybe he’d never truly know – Joseph knew it was just the way he was. He was gay.

And that was that.

“Kinda makes sense,” Joseph sighed quietly. “I don’t have a good reason for you but… if you’re really digging for something… guys smell really good.” Laughing with a shake of his head, Joseph snorted “Most of them. Some smell like shit.”

Andrey burst into laughter and ended up hitting his head on the lockers behind them causing them both to laugh even harder. Clearing his throat as his laughs died down, Andrey replied “Well, I guess that’s something. That musk does it for you, huh?”

Shoving the taller boy beside him, he muttered “It’s better than you droning on and on about a new perfume Ivet wore.”

“Hey, she smelled nice.”

“Did you tell her?”

His cousin looked at him funny. “That’d be weird.”

Rolling his eyes and leaning back on his arms although the cement bench ate his poor palms, Joseph pointed out “Who’s the one here who had a girlfriend and currently has a boyfriend? I think I have better relationship experience than you. Compliments are the number one thing you should be doing. Telling her she smells nice is not weird, especially if she wore it for you.”

“Do you think she did?”

“I’ve no clue but people like when you notice things and tell them so. I mean, I used to give Alicia compliments all the time and she ate them up like nothing. They were sincere too because if they aren’t, I promise you, they can tell and then they just get mad for you lying.”

A look of thoughtfulness filled Andrey’s face as he considered the words. Joseph really wanted to get dressed because he was getting a little cold but there was no way he was taking off these stupid shorts in front of Andrey. He didn’t need to see him naked.

Hopefully, this conversation would finish up before he froze to death.

“Do you give Emilio compliments all the time?”

“When I can,” Joseph shrugged. “It’s not easy because of the obvious but we try.”

Nodding and with his eyebrows scrunched low in considering, Andrey asked “How do you compliment a guy?”

Sometimes, Joseph swore, Andrey was smart.

Other times, he really wasn’t.

“Same way you do a girl. Tell them nice things. Duh.”

“Yeah but you don’t call guys pretty.”

Joseph had never told Emilio he was pretty – he usually just went with good looking or something of the sort – but it didn’t mean he didn’t think it. “Sure you can. Guys can be pretty. Guys can be beautiful.”

“Huh…” Andrey murmured while rubbing his chin. “I guess but maybe it’s because I’m straight I don’t get it.” Suddenly looking extremely curious, Andrey asked with wide eyes “Am I pretty?”

 _Oh for…_ “Seriously.”

“Yeah,” his cousin responded while shrugging one shoulder. “I wanna know if I’m good looking. What do you think? We’ll just ignore we’re cousins for a second.”

“Is that possible?” came Emilio’s laugh as he walked over, having finished his time. “Why are we ignoring this fact? Oh and you’re up.”

Andrey nodded but stayed focused on Joseph. “C’mon. Tell me. I won’t be insulted.”

“Tell him what?” Emilio asked curiously as he opened his locker beside Joseph’s and took out his towel. Turning his back on Joseph, he added “Unzip me.”

“Coulda said please,” Joseph snorted as he pulled down the zipper.

“Answer the question,” Emilio said as he pulled his arms out the way Joseph had.

“He wants to know if he’s pretty.”

“Oh, then just answer. I think your mighty fine by the way.”

With an incredibly happy look gracing his face, Andrey replied “Yeah?”

Yanking the wetsuit off himself far more expertly than both Joseph and Andrey and beginning to dry himself, Emilio nodded “For sure.”

“Even with the ears?”

Sighing, Joseph said with a shake of his head “Get over your ears, man. They’re fine.”

“Well, maybe they’re not fine with Ivet? Maybe that’s why we don’t talk much or anything?”

“Did it ever occur to you,” Emilio started as he finished drying and put the towel beside himself, “That she’s just waiting for you to say something?”

“Maybe you need to make the first move,” Joseph added. “Maybe she’s shy about it so she’s waiting on you?”

“Ivet is not the shy type, guys. You know that.”

“Andrey!”

Joseph jumped even though they weren’t even talking about homosexuality. It was a good thing they had moved on before his father came in.

Coming around the corner, his father looked at them all in annoyance. “Talking can happen later, you know.” Pointing at Andrey, he added “Your turn. Hurry up; they’re waiting.”

“Sorry,” Andrey apologized as he quickly stood and dashed off.

With a brow raised, his father questioned “What was so important that it couldn’t wait?”

“Nothing,” Joseph shrugged, hoping that he was convincing. “Andrey just needed…advice.”

Gaze flicking between him and Emilio, his father said slowly “Aaand you two dorks are the best to give it? Because I imagine it was about Ivet.”

Surprisingly, Joseph was mildly offended on his own behalf. “I had a girlfriend.”

“But of course, Mr. Smooth with M&M’s,” his father laughed. “My bad. Although, I think Yulian would be much more suited for such advice.”

 

 

After the dolphins came the penguins which they also got to feed. His father had to have spent at least a thousand dollars today. No one was sending him to hell for stinginess, that was for sure.

He’d go to hell for other stuff.

After the suited birds came a variety of other animals including sea turtles and sea lions. But one of the coolest had to be the sharks. They had run into the ladies there, in the tunnel, with sharks swimming around and above them. The experience of having the amazing animals around him was so awe-striking that Joseph couldn’t even get his shark facts out of his mouth.

His mother was fully entranced by a shark swimming by that she hadn’t noticed them yet. Joseph was going to go scare her but his father beat him to it as he walked even quieter than usual to reach her. When he did, he jabbed her in her sides and said loudly “Surprise!”

Screaming, his mother whipped around and punched him in the stomach. “Jackass!”

Laughing while clutching his stomach, his father replied “Yours truly!”

“You are not funny,” she couldn’t help but laugh as she hugged him around his neck and kissed him soft. “Such an asshole.”

“Such children,” Joseph snorted, coming up beside them. One day, that’d be him and Emilio.

In public.

One day.

“You should be thankful,” his father snorted in amusement, his arms still wrapped around his wife’s waist. “What if you got stuck with uptight old people like Yulian?”

“Hey,” his tetíncho muttered, jabbing his father with the tip of his cane in his back. “Take it back or I’ll beat you.”

“Can I do it?” Alondra hopped excitedly. “I want to beat someone with a cane!”

They all broke into laughter, especially when everyone around them gave the little girl worried looks. “Mija,” Mrs. Vidal laughed, “I worry for you. I was so worried my son would take after his father but it seems my little girl does.”

“Wow,” Mr. Vidal said in mock hurt. “Cheap shot, Claudia.”

“What gang you gonna join, Alondra?” Anka asked with a smile. “Which one do you have your sights on?”

“Ima join Mr. Kavinsky’s,” she answered matter-of-factly.

“I’m truly honored,” his father replied solemnly. “You’ll do me proud.”

“You can’t join his,” Alicia cut in with a cheeky smile. “He’s racist. Only accepts Bulgarians.”

Breaking into laughter once more, his father shook his head and snorted “I’m not racist. How’s it gonna be a Bulgarian mob if I start accepting outsiders? Alondra will be my only exception.”

“Thank you!” the little girl bounced.

Emilio shook his head and said “Alondra, I have a better idea. Me and you start our own gang and then take over Mr. Kavinsky’s. I’ll be head and you can take Mr. Yulian’s position and we’ll just demote him to the next one.”

“Sounds like a plan!”

Joseph smiled as he looked at his boyfriend and then around at everyone he considered to be family, laughing and joking with each other. These were his people; his loved ones.

And they were perfect as is.

San Diego had truly been the best experience of his life so far.

And may many more come his way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')  
> Стринка (strínka) – a father’s brother’s wife


	157. Chapter 156

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> The smoke from both the NorCal fires and the SoCal fires is all meeting up here in the valley and it sucks. Like the air quality is so bad and you can see all the smoke in the air... Hope everyone up there and down there will be alright
> 
> Daniel's wedding, here we come  
> Enjoy!
> 
> _“Maybe he’s wearing Depends.”_

He didn’t like this.

“I don’t like this.”

Rolling her eyes while standing behind him as they stood in front of the mirror on her dresser, his mother straightened the collar of his shirt as she replied “Don’t be annoying. You look great.”

Yeah, he knew that. Joseph could easily see how good he looked in the mirror. He wished Emilio was around to see him. His boyfriend was guaranteed to drool. But how good he looked wasn’t what he was talking about. “I mean that I’m uncomfortable.” Adjusting his sleeve cuffs as best he could, he added “It’s too stiff.” Definitely not just a plain old cotton shirt.

“It’s a dress shirt. It’s better this way,” she murmured as she focused on his hair. She was making some weird half frown as she brushed it back and was met with some tangles. It wasn’t his fault that he had forgotten to brush it after his shower. Peanut had needed attention.

“I can do my own hair,” Joseph muttered when she pulled out a tangle too hard.

“Obviously not,” his mother replied. “You didn’t even brush it, did you?”

Heat tinged his cheeks. “Well…no but Peanut needed me. She’s more important.” His eye caught on the watch his father had picked out to wear tonight sitting on the dresser. “You think if I ask tatko to borrow a watch, he’d let me?” It wasn’t like a hat; his father’s watches ranged from hundreds to thousands of dollars. Plus a couple cheap ones when expensive was a bad idea and at risk of being damaged.

The shower shut off as she shrugged, “He might. Ask and see. He’s not going to let you wear an expensive one though, so don’t get your heart set on one of those.”

“Any one would be good. Just ‘cause it goes with a suit, you know?”

Smiling her bright beautiful smile as she put a little oil to make sure his hair stayed smooth and back where it belonged, she answered “I know. I think it’d look great.” Turning him around to face her, his mother admired her handiwork. “You, Joseph Kavinsky, look mighty fine.”

“Why thank you,” Joseph laughed in response. He couldn’t believe he actually kind of had to look down on her now. It was so weird being taller than someone who had always been taller than him. Someone he had always looked up to both figuratively and literally. Holding his face softly in her hands, Joseph realized she actually looked like she was about to cry. “Uh…you okay?”

Stretching up while pulling his head down, his mother pressed a kiss to his forehead. “I love you so much. Don’t ever forget that.”

Now she was making him nervous. “Love you too but…what’s wrong?”

Laughing while shaking her head, she snorted “Nothing, baby. Just that you’re growing up. That’s all. My beautiful little boy is becoming a man and that is just depressing.”

“You want him to stay little forever?” his father asked as he walked out of the bathroom with only a towel around his waist. “Move people. You’re in the way of my clothes.”

“I mean,” his mother started as they moved to the side, “I’m definitely not opposed. He’s freaking adorable.”

Walking and sitting himself down on their bed – pulling up his slacks as he did, Joseph notified “Mayko, I’m too old to be adorable.”

Rolling her eyes, she said before she walked out of the room to grab the last of the laundry “You’re always going to be my adorable boy whether you like it or not. Mother’s privilege.”

A smile grew on his face as he shook his head. He didn’t mind if he was her adorable boy for eternity – it was cool with him. Eyes catching on his father staring at him, he asked “What?”

Gesturing down to his towel, his father answered “Can I get dressed in peace?”

“Are you shy?” Joseph asked curiously. He didn’t expect his father to be.

“I’m not shy but it’s weird if you’re just sitting there.”

“Oh, I guess,” Joseph shrugged. It’s not like he had planned on staring. “But we used to take showers together when I was little. Not to mention we have the same stuff.”

Huffing while grabbing a boxer brief from his drawer and yanking them on under his towel before throwing the towel at Joseph, his father said “Key word in that sentence is ‘little.’ I just happen to enjoy peace when I get dressed.”

Tossing the towel in the direction of the laundry basket but sadly missing, Joseph leaned back on his hands and stretched out his legs. He wished he could lie down but his mother would kill him if he messed up his hair. “Tatko?”

“Hmm,” his father hummed after putting on deodorant and applying lotion to himself. It was kind of funny that a mobster was worried about keeping his skin soft and smooth.

“Okay so…this is kind of a weird question.” It had just come to him as he watched his father get dressed.

And it was weird. But if he didn’t talk about it with his father, who would he?

“What’s up,” he murmured as he took out a garment bag, laying it on the dresser and unzipping it open. From it, he slid a pair of slacks off a hanger and slipped them on, leaving the clasp undone so he could tuck in his shirt.

“Uh…” Joseph trialed. Okay, so this would be really weird now that he thought about it. But he already started so… “Do you…like…shave or wax anything? Like besides shaving your face.” He was growing up and he felt like these questions were important. They needed answers from an actual man, not someone else or someplace else.

He had some hairs along his jawline coming out but not much. There was actually a kid in his class who already had a face full of hair, neatly cropped close to his jaw. Joseph wasn’t in a rush, really, but he had to admit he was curious about body hair habits.

Shrugging while brushing his hair, his father answered “Nah. But then I don’t have a whole lot of hair anyways. If I ever tried to grow a beard it’d take me years. But I trim; you don’t want to be messy and unkempt.” Oiling his hair back like Joseph’s, his father added “Staying neat and clean is important.”

“Do you trim everywhere?”

Flicking Joseph a confused glance as he pulled out his suit’s button up from the bag, he asked “Everywhere?”

Feeling some color in his cheeks, Joseph mumbled while vaguely gesturing down “You know? Everywhere?”

“Oh,” his father laughed while putting on his shirt. “ _Everywhere._ Yes, everywhere. Like I said, neatness and cleanliness is important. Everywhere.”

Joseph nodded as he watched him do the buttons all the way up. “You look nice in white. You should wear it more often.”

Making a displeased face while tucking in his shirt and closing his pants, his father muttered “I like black. White is too fucking white. But white is part of this suit so I have to deal. Fucking Daniel.”

“Don’t blame him,” Joseph snorted in amusement as his father started to put on a black tie. “You look good, stop complaining.”

“Sounds like you,” his mother laughed as she walked in with a basket of laundry to put away.

Sighing as he put on the vest that went with the suit, his father said “This is going to be boring as hell. I hate weddings.”

“Well, at least you’ll be sexy and bored.”

“That’s just stupid.”

“Agreed,” Joseph affirmed. “Really stupid. Hey tatko, can I wear one of your watches?”

He actually looked a little unhappy by the request as he did his cuff links and then put on his watch. “I don’t know…”

“I’ll be extra careful,” he promised. “Please? It doesn’t have to be uber fancy, just something to go with my suit.”

Mulling it over as he took out the suit jacket and set it on the dresser before putting the garment bag back in his closet, his father finally said “Okay. But one scratch and you’re so fucked.”

“Thank you!” Bouncing up from the bed in happiness, Joseph walked to his father who was taking out his watch cases. Joseph wondered how his father knew which watches were in which box when all the leather boxes looked the same.

“Grab the keys from my nightstand.”

His mother stretched on the bed, yanked the drawer open, and threw Joseph the keys. “Pick a nice one.”

“They’re all nice,” his father muttered, half offended while unlocking the boxes. Joseph would be happy with any of them, they were all beautiful. Examining the contents, his father shut two boxes, locking them back up, and putting them away.

Probably too expensive for a fourteen year old to wear.

“Any of this box or the first row of this one,” his father notified. “Actually…the second row of this one, not any.”

Joseph couldn’t help but notice how there wasn’t a single Rolex in either box. He didn’t really know fashion or watches but everyone knew what a Rolex was. “No Rolexes, huh?”

A snort erupted from his father. “No way in hell. No Rolexes, no Omegas, no Patek Philippes. No a lot of things. Pick what’s in front of you.”

Having no idea what a Patek Philippe was, Joseph just shrugged. He hadn’t been expecting them anyways; he was just curious what his father would say. “I want…” he ran his gaze over them, “uh…” His eye caught on a silver linked Bulova with a black face but it was in a ‘not allowed’ row. Biting his lip, he asked hesitantly “Can I pick that one?”

Sighing, his father picked it up and gestured to Joseph’s wrist. “Fine. Just be careful.”

Sticking out his hand so his father could slip it on him, he excitedly stared down at it. It looked really nice adorning his wrist. “Thank you!”

“Just-”

“Be careful,” Joseph nodded. “I will.”

 

 

“Traffic is such a fucking bitch,” his father groaned while hitting his head on the steering wheel. Their suit jackets were hanging in the backseat to not get wrinkly as they sat. Joseph just sighed as he gazed out the opposite window.

Traffic sucked.

“We should’ve left earlier,” tetíncho Yulian murmured in the passenger seat in front of Joseph. He was the only one joining them. His mother said she wanted to enjoy a night free of men and tétka and her kids didn’t really know Daniel although they had been invited too.

“Uhhh,” his father groaned once more. “I hate New York. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it.”

“Dramatic.”

“Shut up before I beat you with your cane.”

“Can’t do that,” Joseph chimed in. “I gave that to him as a gift. That’s disrespectful to me and my gift.”

“I helped pay for it, so technically, it’s also my gift.”

When his uncle’s birthday had come around, Joseph had been looking at different canes for a month. He wanted something that he felt matched the man and was also fancy. He had settled on one with a silver intricately carved fritz handle – he’d done so much research that he knew every handle type – and a dark maple wood shaft. However, it was way out of his budget. So extremely out of his budget that he asked his father to help him pay for it. Joseph thought it was beautiful and that his uncle would like it a lot.

But when his birthday came around, Joseph was a little nervous about his gift choice. He’d been worried that it was insensitive to give a cripple a new cane.

_Biting his lip from all the nerves eating at him, Joseph handed his tetíncho the long box harboring the new cane with shaky hands. Maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe this was rude and his uncle wouldn’t appreciate it. Both of his parents had said it was a good gift but what if they were wrong? What if tetíncho Yulian was more sensitive about his leg then they thought? Then he let on?_

_“Hope you like it,” Joseph murmured nervously as he sat down on the floor by Anka after tetíncho Yulian took the box, trying not to wring his hands in front of everyone. “It was my idea and I helped pay for it but tatko also paid because I didn’t have enough.”_

_His tetíncho’s eyebrows rose in surprise. “You didn’t need to put yourself in debt for me but thank you. I’m sure it’s great if it was that expensive.”_

_“Hope so,” he smiled nervously. He felt like he was about to throw up his heart as his uncle took off the black wrapping paper once he had set the box on the coffee table. Undoing the bottom flap, he lifted the lip and uncovered the present._

_And froze._

_“D-Do you not like it?” Joseph asked worriedly when his uncle was just staring down into the box. Tétka Nikol and his cousins were trying to get a look at what it was but he didn’t think they could see because they didn’t say anything._

_“It’s…it’s nice.” He sounded surprised. Straightening, he pulled it from the box and rested the tip on the floor while examining the handle. “Beautiful actually.”_

_“You got him a cane?” Andrey asked in annoyance. Sometimes, Joseph felt like his elder cousin was more sensitive about his uncle’s leg than the man himself. “That’s messed up. What is wrong with you?”_

_“I thought he’d like a nice one,” he snapped defensively. “If he’s going to be walking with a cane, then he should have a really badass one. He’s a cripple, get over it and accept it.”_

_“Joseph!” his tétka said in shock. “Manners?”_

_Feeling annoyed with everyone right now because they really just had to move on after close to a year, Joseph replied in a stiff voice “Tétka, tetíncho is a cripple. There’s no way around it. And instead of just tiptoeing around, just confront it and accept the fact. He. Is. A. Cripple. And sometimes he needs a cane because he can’t walk without getting tired fast. And that’s okay. It doesn’t make him any less than he is. Doesn’t make him any less capable than he was. It’s not like he was ever into running marathons anyways. And since he needs a cane, he deserves a really nice one.”_

_He could tell from his mother’s face that she was going to lecture him on bad manners when they got home. His father had a gleam of amusement in his eyes and his tétka looked slightly pissed. Tetíncho Yulian was-_

_Smiling?_

_“Thank you,” he laughed. “No one ever seems to just understand that I don’t want the pity or the extra help. Just treat me as I was. And this?” he lifted the cane, “is the best gift I’ve ever gotten. Thank you.”_

“This wedding better be worth it,” Joseph snorted, mostly to himself. He’d actually never been to one so really, it’d be a new experience. “Hope the food is good.”

His father actually let out a dry laugh. “You don’t even fucking eat. Why do you care?”

“Maybe I felt like eating today,” he muttered. “You don’t know.”

“Trust me, I do.”

“Weddings usually have good food,” tetíncho Yulian answered. “And I bet Daniel’s does. He probably spent hundreds of thousands on this wedding, rich spoiled boy that he is.”

“What was your wedding like?” Joseph asked curiously.

Stretching before relaxing in his seat, he replied “It was nice. We didn’t go all out though. I mean, I could’ve but didn’t really want to, to be honest. My brother had had this extravagant wedding a couple years before and I just wasn’t for that. Luckily, your tétka wasn’t either. We just did a small hall and not too much people. My family, including extended, and some of my friends. Same with your tétka.”

As stupid as this thought was, Joseph was surprised for his uncle to say ‘friends.’ It was just weird. “Friends outside of the mob?”

Laughing, his uncle responded “Joseph, I have no friends in the mob. I’m just outsider Yulian who married the head’s eldest. ‘Coworkers’ sure. People who respect me, maybe some who fear, but no friends except maybe Asen because that guy wants to be everyone’s friend.”

“So true,” his father agreed. “That man is just sunshine incarnated.”

He was about to ask his father if he had friends in the mob when he realized that was just a stupid question. The man only had Mr. Vidal and Asen. Venc when he had been around. That was it. “What was your wedding like, tatko?”

“Really small. I was broke as hell still. Me and my mayko had finally moved to an actual apartment that had two rooms but I didn’t have much and I really didn’t want to waste what I could save for us on a wedding. Your mayko didn’t mind that so we just did it in a park and only family was there. Less people to feed that way.”

Joseph wondered what sort of wedding him and Emilio would plan together. He imagined them to last forever so with that came marriage. Maybe they’d just move to California when they were older because that was apparently a place ‘full of fucking faggots.’ Nobody would blink an eye at them, would they? If the state was full of gays then them going out and being publicly affectionate wouldn’t even be a problem.

They’d be accepted.

Them. As a couple. As two people who loved one another.

And that was one of Joseph’s dreams. To be accepted. To spend his life with the one he wanted.

Maybe he’d take notes at Daniel’s wedding tonight. Some inspiration was always good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')  
> Стринка (strínka) – a father’s brother’s wife


	158. Chapter 157

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> So the fantastic Goldfish asked for some stuffs the other day because she's awesome like that. For today, you have a NEW Snapshot. The prompt was 'Ivo' and 'song' and two ideas hit me. So you get one today and the other either Tue or Thurs. Go check it out. It's sweet I think. If y'all remember Ivo thinking about his and Joseph's memories, this one is one of those with him getting him to sleep for the first time alone. Emiliya (Ivo's mom) is in it too. Keep in mind that anytime they're talking, it's in Bulgarian, not English.
> 
> Next thing Goldfish asked was about everyone's hairstyles. To keep it easy to visualize, we decided on a tumblr post w/ pictures. The pictures are 'hairstyle casts' not face or fancasts. So only the hairstyle is accurate unless I wrote otherwise. The hair color for most is accurate besides where otherwise noted. The women were a bit harder just because it depends what they feel like doing with their hair that day so I went for hair types for them mostly. You can either just go to my page or click this nice [link!](http://sambamart.tumblr.com/post/166409326753/his-world-was-a-nightmare-1-in-dreaming-in-a)
> 
> And now for today's chpt! Enjoy! Oh and see you guys Tuesday
> 
> _“So lovey dovey that I’m going to suffocate from it.”_

“Assigned seating,” Joseph murmured to himself as he sat in his seat between his father and tetíncho Yulian. At least he was with them. He’d probably have a panic attack if he had been separated from them and had to sit with strangers in a strange place in a state and city that he didn’t know like the back of his hand. “Fancy.”

In all honesty, that was probably the _least_ fanciest thing about the whole wedding that he’d seen so far. They had just finished from the ceremony and were now getting ready for the reception. The ceremony was nice although it was just too lavish for Joseph’s tastes. He figured Emilio would agree with him. They generally had similar tastes.

There had been crystal chandeliers hanging from the ceiling and there had been literally hundreds of white roses everywhere. The lighting had been dim and ‘romantic’ with white candles lighting up the aisle up to the dais. The chairs were fancy colored gold with red cushions. Joseph felt that was a little cheesy but what did he know?

The dais itself had been done over with archways of beautiful white flowers lit from behind to make them glow and there were strands of diamonds intertwined in the vines. The candles didn’t end in the aisle either; they were adorned everywhere, strategically placed so they wouldn’t be overwhelming or be seen as tacky. At least they were unscented so someone wouldn’t die because they were engulfed in the smell of vanilla or something.

Daniel himself had looked really good in a crisp white tuxedo and his hair freshly cut and side parted on the top. But while Daniel had looked good, the bride had been stunning in her gown.

_“Daniel looks like he’s about to piss on himself,” his father laughed quietly to Joseph and his uncle. They were important guests to Daniel apparently because they were seated in the second row towards the front._

_“I don’t blame him,” tetíncho Yulian murmured back. “This place alone makes you nervous from the amount of pressure. Talk about frivolous.”_

_He felt like frivolous was an understatement. This place was insane. Joseph wondered what they’d be met with once they reached the reception hall. It probably topped this place. Hell, probably the cake alone topped this place._

_It was probably one hell of a cake._

_“He’s wearing white,” Joseph said ever so quietly so his words wouldn’t be caught by anyone than who were supposed to. “If he does pee on himself, it’s gonna show big time.”_

_His father smiled as he added “Maybe he’s wearing Depends.”_

_“Ew,” tetíncho Yulian laughed. “I hope not.”_

_They turned when the doors to the hall opened to watch the bride walk in, arm in arm with her father._

_“Wow…” Joseph trailed in awe. She was beautiful that was for sure. But what really got him was her dress. Also the fact that she was so tall – that couldn’t all be from her heels._

_Chaerin was smiling bright as she walked down the aisle with her father, a long train following her. Her dress hugged her until her waist where it gradually puffed out as it went down. Joseph didn’t know fabric types but there was some shiny sparkly sheen stuff over the white that made her sparkle as she walked._

_Of course, there were other stuff making her sparkle too._

_Like the thousands of crystals sown into her dress._

_“Damn,” his father said quietly in amazement. “I bet you those are actual real diamonds.”_

_“People do that?” he whispered back._

_“Apparently. That dress is probably almost a hundred thousand dollars.”_

_“Dang,” Joseph muttered as he watched her get closer to them. The aisle was long and he hoped her feet were alright in her heels. It was going to be a long night. Hopefully the dress wasn’t heavy either. He didn’t want the poor thing to die of exhaustion on her wedding night._

_The diamonds adorned the bodice of the dress and made designs along the edges of her train and the bottom of her dress. Her bleached hair was a bunch of soft curls placed into a low bun with a matching crystal clip on top of it from where her veil came down._

_She was stunning and that was all Joseph could say as she continued her walk. Then, with the help of her father up the stairs and her mother helping with the train, she made her way up the stairs to the dais as Daniel took her hand to help her too. Joseph could literally feel the love between them from the way they smiled to each other._

_One day, that’d be him and Emilio._

_No dress and all that but just the love passing between as they were about to swear their lives together._

The reception hall was in the theme with the ceremony. The white roses, the chandeliers, and the candles. Luckily though, they kept the lights nice and bright so everyone could see everything and everyone. Plus, when it came time to eat, Joseph imagined it wouldn’t be fun eating in the ‘romantic dark.’

 _We’re not dimming the lights_ , he decided in full surety. The whole idea was just stupid. Flowers were nice but Joseph didn’t like the extravagance of the amount Daniel had settled for. Joseph may be rich but a quiet wedding was more his thing. He didn’t need all this blatant display of wealth.

Not that it wasn’t beautiful because it definitely was but it just wasn’t his thing. Despite his wealth, he just hadn’t been raised to be a spoiled rich kid. Neither had his cousins for that matter. And he was actually grateful for that; he liked that he was an easy to please sort of guy.

Jumping a little when there was an arm suddenly stretching between him and his tetíncho, Joseph looked over his shoulder to find a server smiling as he filled tetíncho Yulian’s wine glass. “My apologies, young man. Didn’t mean to startle you.”

“Uh, no, my fault. I was lost in my thoughts,” Joseph replied with a polite smile as the man moved to fill his father’s glass.

“No thank you,” his father smiled with a slight wave of his hand. “Water is all I’d like tonight.”

“Of course,” the server said with a dip of his head before he walked off.

“Why didn’t I get offered wine?” Joseph tried to ask in an offended voice although he couldn’t help but smirk as he said it.

“Don’t make me slap you, child,” his father snorted as he picked up his ‘wine’ glass filled with water and took a sip.

Taking a sip of his own water after he studied the way his father held the glass to make sure he did it properly, he inquired “How long do we have to stay before it’s polite to leave?”

“After that huge ass cake gets served,” his father replied while staring at the ginormous cake in question.

Like all of the things here, it was over-the-top but absolutely beautiful. It had seven tiers of white with white and pink flowers winding up to the top. “Are the flowers edible, you think?”

“Probably sugar,” his tetíncho answered while looking over the crowd. Whoever was supposed to be seated across from them hadn’t joined them yet, giving them an easy view of the room. “Anka tried making sugar flowers once. Didn’t work out so well.” A huge smile grew on his face. “Andrey made fun of them and then she shoved them all over his face.”

“Did they at least taste good?” he laughed.

“Andrey said they were the most delicious hideous flowers he’s ever eaten.”

“Oh good then. Now she’s just gotta learn to make them pretty.” Anka’s dream nowadays was to have her own café. She planned on training to be a pastry chef then opening up one of the awesomest, most cozy, most amazing cafés ever. Joseph had utter faith in her; if anyone would make sure their dreams would happen, it was her. Maybe they would combine his vet clinic and her café so his patients’ owners would have somewhere to relax or something. Maybe they could make the café have treats for animals too.

It’d be good business for the both of them, now that he thought about it.

“My Lords Kavinsky and Simeonov!” a loud voice boomed. Two men came walking over and they each stuck out a hand to shake with his father and tetíncho Yulian who had stood for their greetings.

“Don Marchetti,” his father smiled politely, shaking the man who had spoken’s hand. Joseph could tell easily that his father had switched to mobster form. And he wasn’t stupid, he knew what a Don was. His father owned The Godfather movie series on dvd and one time when Emilio had slept over, they had snuck it and the laptop late at night to watch.

If they had been caught they would have been in so much trouble.

But the movies would have been worth the punishment. They were awesome.

The other man was revealed to be Lord Ratti as his father went in for greetings with him next. The men were older than both his father and uncle. Probably closer to his grandfather had he been alive. Maybe younger. However old they were, it was somewhere in the fifties and sixties. Don Marchetti was what Joseph would expect of an Italian boss; hell, he looked like the one in The Godfather. Lord Ratti looked younger in the face but looked as though he was balding before the other man.

What surprised Joseph once the men had finished their greetings was when Don Marchetti stuck out his hand for Joseph. He hadn’t realized he was supposed to say hello. Mob stuff was business.

Business is not for children.

But he wouldn’t be seen as rude and then have that reflect upon his father. Stuffing down his nerves where they belonged, he stood and accepted the hand, smiling politely. What was he supposed to say though? Nice to meet you?

Don Marchetti was kind enough to save him from the dilemma as he spoke first. “Don Marchetti, young man. I must say, you are your father’s son.”

Smiling nervously, he introduced himself. “Joseph, uh, sir.” Was he supposed to say Don? My lord? Joseph hadn’t been taught in the ways of proper mafia etiquette. “And thank you.” That sounded right.

Lord Ratti shook his hand next and smiled “It’s good to meet the future! Now I will know what the face of the next generation looks like. I’ve always been curious. You, dear child, are like a myth in these circles. Some even go to the extent saying your father is spinning tales and doesn’t actually have a son from how elusive you are.”

Being a myth sounded awesome. And he knew why his father never affirmed anything – he didn’t want Joseph a part of that life.

And Joseph appreciated that immensely.

“No, I exist,” he laughed graciously. Taking his seat as the men who seemed were their table partners took theirs. “Very real.”

From his father’s no longer easy manner, Joseph knew he wasn’t happy that these men were with them. Maybe it wasn’t because of them specifically but he wasn’t happy that suddenly everything he tried to keep Joseph away from was slammed in their faces. Never in a million years did Joseph think he’d be having dinner with one of the heads of the Five Families of New York.

Talk about once in a lifetime experience. He couldn’t wait to tell his cousins and Emilio.

Taking a sip of his wine, Don Marchetti began “Lord Kavinsky, it’s so rare that we have you on this side of the river. You can’t blame me for wanting to take the moment to take advantage. I’d like to discuss-”

“I blame you,” his father interrupted firmly but still with a voice full of manners. Business was never for children. There was no way his father would let the Italian Don talk it in front of him. “I’m here as a guest of a wedding. Don’t blame me for not wanting to have to talk business.” He took an easy sip of his water, “If you want to talk business, by all means, come to Hoboken and we’ll talk.”

The Don looked slightly annoyed but replied simply “Fair enough, I suppose.” Turning his attention to tetíncho Yulian, he asked “Your son is not accompanying you, my lord?”

“He’s got a lot of homework that needs catching up on,” tetíncho Yulian replied smoothly. Andrey never got backed up on his homework. He literally did it the minute he walked into the house when he got home from school.

“Ah, understandable,” Lord Ratti nodded. Focusing on Joseph, he inquired “How old, young man?”

Joseph hated questions more than anything. But it would be rude if he didn’t answer despite how much he didn’t want to and could tell how much his father didn’t want him to. “Fourteen, sir.”

“Very good age! You’ll be starting the business soon then; that’s all well. My son started way back when he was fifteen. Both my grandson’s started at sixteen.”

“Mine as well,” the Don added. “It’s best when leadership stays between family. I’m sure you will do your name proud.”

Merely smiling because Joseph wasn’t doing any mob reputation proud by becoming a vet, he didn’t correct them. Let them think what they wanted. It was probably better. “Thank you.”

“What do you enjoy to do?”

One of the Italian heads was asking him what his hobbies were.

Definitely a one-time experience.

But what was the right answer? Joseph loved to read, to draw cars, play with his cat, hang out with his boyfriend. That very last one would never be said in this company in a million years but the other ones seemed so…

Nerdy. Were heirs supposed to have different sorts of hobbies? Stuff less typical loner nerdish?

 _Don’t be ashamed of yourself_ . So Joseph was a nerd. Big deal. His mother always said nerds were the ones who made it. They were going to take over the world. “I like to read,” Joseph answered simply. That seemed like a nice answer.

Don Marchetti smiled and nodded with approval. Good answer then. “A fine thing that many are leaving behind. My grandsons rarely pick up a book and would rather go for video games unless the book is one of those hideous Japanese picture books.”

Did he mean manga? Those were pretty good actually. Joseph was a huge Detective Conan fan. Emilio loved Naruto. Alicia would die by every anime in the world – she knew them all. “I enjoy novels. Mysteries are always good. Or, like, thrillers.” _I am Not a Serial Killer_ was awesome and he couldn’t wait until the next one came out. He had tried _The Hunger Games_ because everyone swore by it but he hadn’t enjoyed it that much.

“Very good, very good. I wish my grandsons would get lost in a book once in a while. They are obsessed with that game,” he waved his hand trying to recall the name, “Grand Auto or something.”

“Grand Theft Auto,” Joseph fixed. He wasn’t even allowed near that game. Like at all. Joseph wasn’t even allowed to watch his father play. His father had actually just bought one of the expansion packs that came out this year. Two had been released but one of them had a gay guy in it – which Joseph was secretly happy about because representation – so his father wouldn’t even look in its direction.

“Yes, that one,” Don Marchetti said with distaste. “Instead of expanding their minds, they shrink it with this foolery.”

Dying to laugh because his father wasn’t expanding his brain like he should apparently, Joseph replied neutrally to not accidently insult the Don’s grandkids “That’s a way to look at it.”

His eyes turned to the door when people started clapping. Stretching up to see, he watched as Daniel and Chaerin walked in hand in hand. “Huh, she changed.” Why? She looked beautiful before.

Not that she didn’t now in her new dress that also shined when the light hit it. This one was a different style though, with the dress clinging to her curves all the way down. It was almost like it was made to tease. It was long sleeve but the sleeves and the sides from shoulder to butt were lace. The lace started up again once you reached mid-thigh and went all the way down. And of course, intertwined in the lace were diamonds.

Her hair had also changed. The soft curls were now tumbling down her back, shining bright.

“She’s looks really pretty.”

The Don, who seemed to want to be Joseph’s talking partner for some reason, disagreed. “I liked the first dress better. What is the point of the lace? Those see through things that women wear now are for the bedroom, not the public. No manners, these women nowadays.”

Joseph felt like this old ass needed to get over himself. Who was he to tell a woman what she should wear? Obviously, he hadn’t grown with strong women in his life like Joseph had because he didn’t have the right amount of respect for them like he should.

Jackass.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')  
> Стринка (strínka) – a father’s brother’s wife


	159. Chapter 158

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> Like literally, I've only done 2 1/2 Inktobers. There just isn't enough time. Especially this week. Two projects, two midterms, and a paper. I hate midterm season. Uhh
> 
> The second Snapshot is gonna have to wait because of the reasons above. And...I think that's all I have to say for today  
> Enjoy
> 
> _“Now that, that’s just fucked up, my lord."_

“Here, go ask Daniel and Chaerin to take a picture together for mayko,” his father said in quick quiet Bulgarian that Joseph almost missed it if he hadn’t noticed his father take out his phone.

“Aw, why do I have to?” Joseph muttered in displeasure, staying in their mother tongue. His father wasn’t comfortable around the Italians who were their table partners so he had been speaking mostly in Bulgarian to Joseph. “Can’t you do it?” Joseph was the type who died from embarrassment in public things, especially in front of all these people.

His father simply raised a brow, the phone still in his hand, stretched between them. Joseph flicked a glance to the phone then grumbled as he took it “Fine.”

“Make sure it’s a good one. She’ll never forgive us for it if it isn’t.”

“Send it to Nikol too,” tetíncho Yulian chimed in.

“Her husband can make his own effort for pictures.” Joseph found that slightly hypocritical; his father wasn’t the one making the effort.

He was.

“Don’t be an ass.” Looking to Joseph, tetíncho Yulian said “Make sure you send it to your tétka.”

“Okay,” he sighed as he shook his head and walked off. His heart was beating a hundred miles an hour as he got closer to where Daniel and Chearin were with her parents and Johanna. God, he hated this.

Johanna caught sight of him first and smiled. They hadn’t really seen each other since Venc died. Actually, they hadn’t seen each other at all since then besides the quick smiles during the ceremony and the couple times he saw her on ESPN. “Hey, Joseph!”

“Hey, Johanna,” he smiled wide. It was actually nice seeing her again. “How are you?” he asked once he reached the table, coming to a stop beside her.

“Great! And you?”

“Hey, Joseph,” Daniel grinned. “Look at you looking all fancy.”

“Don’t be jealous now,” he laughed. “And I’m good,” he answered Johanna. “I watch you every time I know you have a fight on ESPN. You kick some serious ass.”

She laughed with a bright smile and replied “Gotta put them in their places, you know?”

“Come to meet Chaerin?” Daniel asked, a soft smile gracing his face as the new couple held tight hands together.

Good enough opening. Holding up the phone, he answered “Well, that and a picture for mayko if you guys don’t mind?”

“Of course!” Nodding to Joseph, he told his new wife “This is Joseph if you remember when we told you about Venc?”

“I remember!” Chaerin exclaimed happily, her entire face shining even more than before. Joseph honestly didn’t think it was possible. She seemed like one of those people who was always happy. _Female Asen._

It warmed his heart knowing that they talked about Venc. That he wasn’t just someone in the past they had all moved on from. God, did Joseph miss him.

“Very nice to meet you, Joseph! Thank you for coming! I’m sure a wedding isn’t all that exciting for a teenage boy to come to!”

“I admit to nothing,” Joseph laughed. “For all you know, I’m having the time of my life.”

“Lies,” Johanna snorted in amusement. She looked pretty with her hair in a tight neat bun atop her head and in a deep purple dress that made Joseph think of Greek goddesses. “But it’s cool; we understand.”

Suddenly realizing that he was being incredibly rude to the other people at the table, Joseph stuck out his hand to introduce himself to her parents. If he could talk with Italian mob bosses then he sure as hell could be polite and say hello to seemingly normal people. “Joseph Kavinsky.”

Joseph couldn’t say he liked the look her mother gave him when he shook her hand. And he couldn’t help but blush when she spoke up. “And which of my son-in-law’s ‘associates’ son are you? Which empire are you inheriting?”

Well then. Obviously, Chaerin’s mom wasn’t all that enthused by Daniel’s work. But at least they knew; that was better than the opposite. Chaerin looked at her mother in slight annoyance while Daniel looked down at the table in embarrassment.

Clearing his throat, Joseph answered carefully “Uh, well, I’m not going to inherit anything because I don’t want it but my father runs the Bulgarians in Jersey.” He hadn’t corrected that detail with the Italians but he felt he should with her. For some reason, he didn’t like her disapproval.

“Fascinating,” she said dryly. Joseph didn’t think she had to be such a bitch about it. It wasn’t his fault that he was born into it. “Truly fascinating.”

Politely smiling because he had no clue what to say, Joseph turned his attention back to the newlyweds. “So…how’d you guys meet?”

Smile back on his face, Daniel replied “I was walking Akira in Central Park and there was this beautiful woman who was screaming at a pigeon for pooping on her. I offered her a tissue and the rest is history.”

Breaking into laughter because, really, how couldn’t he after hearing that, Joseph said “Truly such a romance story. I think we need to find a writer to get it done and published, huh?”

“Right?” Johanna rolled her eyes. “So lovey dovey that I’m going to suffocate from it.”

“What do you do?” Joseph asked Chaerin curiously. Did she even work? Maybe go to school?

“I’m a hair stylist! It’s a lot of fun! I’ve been working on getting my license for doing makeup too!”

Maybe he should introduce her to Maria then. That was something Emilio’s sister wanted to do but she was still saving up for it. They couldn’t have that many years between them. “That sounds cool. My friend’s eldest sister wants to do that too but she’s still working to make money to pay for school.”

“That’s cool!” Joseph felt like if someone were to write this woman’s dialog, she might be in eternal exclamation points. “So you want that picture so you can go sit before the food comes out!”

The weird thing was that her question didn’t come out like a question and was more of an exciting statement. “Yes, please, if you guys don’t mind.”

“Not at all,” Daniel said as he stood and helped Chaerin to her feet. They moved a little ways from the table and posed together. “Go for it.”

Having already unlocked his father’s phone and having the camera open, Joseph took a shot that he thought came out great. They really matched each other even though in her heels, Chaerin was taller than Daniel. Looking to Johanna, he asked “Can you join them too?”

She looked like she had been dying for this question as she jumped to her feet despite her killer heels. “I’d love too!” Johanna wrapped herself lovingly around her new sister-in-law and smiled huge. “Cheese!”

“Thanks guys!” Joseph said happily as he checked to make sure the pictures were good. “Appreciate it.”

“No problem!” Chaerin exclaimed as she took her seat and Daniel after her.

He was surprised when Johanna hugged him tight. “Great seeing you.”

“Aw, thanks.” Weird but that was nice of her. “You too.”

Smiling as she backed up to her seat, she looked like she was about to speak. Joseph was going to say ‘you’re gonna hit the table’ but he was way too late as she bumped it enough where it shook. She turned sharply to make sure that the huge glass vase holding flowers was alright.

In all honesty, Joseph was sure that it would have been if she hadn’t tried to make sure because her ‘securing it’ just made it worse as her hands hit it odd and then-

_CRASH_

Down onto the floor as it tipped off the table.

Joseph cringed when it had hit the floor, spilling water and flowers and shattering glass onto the floor. “Well then.”

Everyone was frozen as they stared at the vase on the floor. Luckily, it had gone the opposite way of the bride. It’d be cruel if the poor thing's dress got ruined from her klutzy sister-in-law who was frozen with wide eyes, staring at the floor with a blush coloring her skin. “I’m so sorry.”

Daniel waved it off. “Don’t worry about it. Accidents happen.”

When Joseph noticed not a single soul moved to at least pick up the half-shattered vase that was a huge hazard, he put his father’s phone in his pocket and walked to it. He was careful to grasp it where he was least likely to get cut as he hoisted it back on the table. Crouching down, he began to pick up the large pieces. They didn’t need those ending up in anyone’s feet.

“Leave it Joseph,” Daniel said from where he was still sitting. Actually, pretty much everyone was still sitting. Joseph shouldn’t really expect any less, he figured. It was a room full of rich people.

_You idiot, you’re a rich person._

_Yeah but not that kind._

“The janitors will clean it,” Johanna said as she tapped his shoulder. “Leave it.”

She was about to crouch down to help him when he didn’t move but he shook his head. “I can get the big pieces,” Joseph replied as Johanna sat on her chair. “Not a big deal.”

“Let me.”

Looking up in surprise at his father, Joseph responded “It’s okay. I got it.”

Crouching down like Joseph, his father took the glass from his hand and began picking up the rest. “I don’t want you cutting yourself.”

“Thank you,” he said in Bulgarian, “But is the Lord supposed to be picking glass like a janitor?” He didn’t want his father to look bad or something. Seem low compared to the other Lords that may be here.

Answering in Bulgarian, his father replied “The Lord is a helpful man who not only helps his very well-mannered son who is willingly cleaning the floor but he also knows that he’ll seem like a very gracious down-to-earth man who is willing to help where it is needed. He doesn’t see himself above people. Not that he does anyways unless you’re Yulian.”

Snorting on his laughter, Joseph shook his head. It made a lot of sense actually. This was making his image even better. Joseph knew it wasn’t an act though; his father willingly helped all the time. He didn’t mind. “Well, your well-mannered son isn’t going to just sit and watch when his father is cleaning. He helps.”

“That’s because he’s so god fucking polite. Means his parents raised him good.”

Joseph was about to agree as Daniel’s voice cut in. “My Lord Kavinsky, you needn’t subject yourself. Your son shouldn’t either; a janitor will clean it. They just walked in actually.”

The man sure knew how to turn formal fast. _Your son,_ he mocked in his head.

“It’s fine,” his father said as he emptied his hand on the table. “We’re just getting the large pieces. There are children here.”

“Thank you!” Chaerin smiled cheerily. Actually, smiled no differently than normal.

She was so damn cheery.

Stretching up to dump his own pile, Joseph steadied himself with his other hand by placing it on the floor.

Bad bad bad idea.

Letting out an inside groan mixed with a whine – _letting in?_ – because he didn’t want to draw attention to himself, Joseph lifted his hand shakily and stared at his now bleeding palm. His father had, of course, caught the groan because the man was born with supersonic ears and his head had quickly looked up to Joseph.

Catching sight of his hand, he muttered “Shit.”

“It’s no biggie,” Joseph whispered shakily, just watching the blood welling from his palm. There were a lot of little shards embedded in his skin with a larger one sort of just there. He couldn’t bring himself to do much more than stare.

Next time, he’d watch where he put his stupid hand.

Sighing as he stood, his father helped Joseph to his feet. “Go to the table and I’ll clean it for you. Gimme a sec.”

“Shit, Joseph, sorry,” Johanna called after him, distress in her voice.

“No worries,” he called back as he walked to his uncle who was stuck alone with the Italians. When he took his seat, he was still holding his right by the wrist like it was some foreign object. “Ouch,” he tried to laugh because he actually kind of wanted to let out some tears. It hurt like hell.

But he refused to cry in front of people.

“Shit,” tetíncho Yulian said as he took Joseph’s hand softly to take a good look, concerning flitting on his face.

“It’s not a big deal, tetíncho.”

Lord Ratti looked over in minor curiosity while Don Marchetti was leaning over the table a bit to take a closer look. “Price of graciousness, I suppose.”

Maybe it was because he was in pain that he completely forgot who he was speaking to. Like completely completely. “Well I wasn’t going to just sit like the rest of this stupid room and let the groom’s sister pick it up like a complete asshole,” Joseph snapped in a mix of his pain and annoyance.

Then he froze.

This was _thee_ Don of the Lucchese crime family. One of the five Dons of New York.

And Joseph literally just snapped at him and implied he was both stupid and an asshole.

Shit.

_Shit._

Clearing his throat, he looked up into the Don’s surprised face. “Uh, my…apologies…sir.”

Face quickly going blank, Don Marchetti examined him closely.

And then he smiled.

_Fucking smiled._

“Well! It seems the boy is exactly his father!” Laughing a deep hearty laugh, the Don added “I think I like you even more now, young man! You have to be able to stick up for yourself in this business.”

He couldn’t believe he was getting off the hook like that. “You still have my apologies, sir. That was rude of me.”

“And you have my acceptance of said apology. No harm done.”

“Thank you,” Joseph couldn’t help but reply in surprise. That went really well.

Thank God.

All he needed was to have earned the hate of the head of the Lucchese family.

Definitely didn’t need that target on his back.

Looking from the Don to his father who had come back with a tweezer in hand, Joseph asked “Where’d you manage that?”

“You kidding me?” his father snorted as he sat down, facing Joseph. He nudged Joseph’s knee so he could turn and face him. “We’re at a wedding filled with rich primped up women. Every single one of them has one in their bags. This particular one is Johanna’s.”

“Makes sense,” he murmured as he rested his elbow on his knee and gave his father his hand. Tetíncho Yulian set his chin on Joseph’s shoulder, watching as Joseph’s father decided where to start in the mess. “The big one would be good.”

“Probably,” his father said quietly as he focused. “Then I’ll go back to the edge and work my way in to make sure I get it all.”

Silent because he didn’t have much to say and he didn’t want the Italians catching any pain in his voice after he had just earned their respect, Joseph simply watched and cringed as his father went along. Grasp. Pull. Napkin. Again and again as his father systematically cleaned the glass out.

“Ouch,” Joseph muttered in both pain in annoyance when his father started pushing along his palm. “Stop pushing so hard.”

“I have to make sure I got it all. Hush up.”

He did but he continued to scrunch his face in his suffering. It hurt like crazy the way he was pushing. And the blood welled every time he added more pressure. That didn’t bother his father it seemed, as he checked over one last time, his fingers red from blood. _Why would it? He tortures people._

The tweezer was pretty dirty too.

Johanna probably didn’t want it back.

“Alright, I think I got them all.” His father literally passed Joseph’s hand to his uncle as if it wasn’t attached to a person. “Check.”

Turning a little so the angle wasn’t so awkward, Joseph watched his uncle repeat the process. You’d think he’d get used to the pain by now.

“Looks good.” Taking the fancy cloth napkin from the table, tetíncho wet it from his water glass and handed it to Joseph. “Clean it up. You don’t need infection on top of all that.”

No, no he didn’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')  
> Стринка (strínka) – a father’s brother’s wife


	160. Chapter 159

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> Nothing to say besides I'm dying in work. Also there's no quote preview because I haven't written the next chpt yet... Def behind. They'll be a chpt Sunday but I probably won't make it for Tuesday.
> 
> Enjoy the last of the wedding

Joseph stared over at the huge ass cake yet to be served. In truth, he was exhausted. Not that that wasn’t typical of the boy who didn’t know what sleep was anymore but damn. He was just about dead and they still had to drive home.

Hopefully traffic wasn’t too bad by the time they left. Maybe he’d just sleep in the car if he could manage it.

“The food not to your liking?” Don Marchetti asked curiously after taking another bite from his steak while eyeing Joseph’s plate that looked like it was barely even touched. Filet mignon apparently. Some fancy cut of meat.

Steak was steak to Joseph.

It was delicious but for the amount he normally ate, the plate was just too big. He’d need like at least an hour to finish it. “No, it was delicious but I’m full.”

Lord Ratti looked at him skeptically. “How could you possibly be full?”

“I hadn’t realized my son’s eating habits were up for analyzation, gentlemen,” his father cut in swiftly, a bite to his tone. “What should be worried after is what is in front of you.”

“One day, Lord Kavinsky,” Don Marchetti replied easily, “You are going to give yourself a heart attack from your attitude.”

Shrugging and taking a sip of water, his father snorted “I’m sure you all will celebrate that day then.”

“Your death? Possibly. I respect you greatly but everyone wants their competition out of the picture.”

“You guys know that a heart attack isn’t death, right?” Joseph couldn’t help but interrupt. “But the death rate is pretty high. Heart disease is the leading cause of death for both men and women in America. About one in four die every year. But having a heart attack doesn’t mean you’re going to die.”

“Moving from animals to people now?” his father asked before a bite of asparagus. Joseph’s guess was that he didn’t want to be rude in front of people because that wasn’t one of his father’s favorite vegetables.

“Nah,” Joseph shrugged. “Saw a commercial the other day.”

His tetíncho let out an amused snort. “Those are so educational.”

“Hey, they want to sell their drugs so they gotta lay it on thick, you know?”

“So true-”

“My lord, my lord, my lord!”

“Oh Jesus,” his father groaned as a red headed man literally bounced over to them excitedly.

The man came to a stop beside his father’s chair, giddy in happiness. Joseph couldn’t help but think how pretty his bright brown eyes were. “Hiii, my lord,” he drawled.

Sighing in resignation, his father leaned back in his chair and replied “Casey.”

“Look at you all fancy! You make even Daniel look shabby.” Leaning in, Casey whispered “What’s your secret?”

Smiling at Casey, his father answered “Punching idiots regularly.”

Straightening, Casey made a face while holding his cheek. “Now that, that’s just fucked up, my lord. C’mon, you know I’m way smarter than that. Gimme some credit.” His eyes caught on tetíncho Yulian. “Aw wattup, my blonde lord?”

“Casey,” tetíncho Yulian greeted easily, still focused on his food. “How are you?”

“Good. Good. All’s good.”

“Think you could add any more ‘goods’ in that sentence,” Joseph muttered around the rim of his water glass.

“Oh my great Jesus above! It’s a mini you!” Casey exclaimed excitedly to Joseph’s father like he just found some rare species of animal or something. “It’s adorable.”

Joseph glared at the red head in annoyance. “News flash. The only ones who get to call me adorable are my mother and aunt. And I’m not an ‘it,’ jerk.” Emilio could call him adorable too; he wouldn’t mind.

“It’s even cuter when it’s pissed!”

“Jackass,” Joseph grumbled then froze when he realized that he cursed in front of his father.

“Later,” his father said quietly in Bulgarian, a smirk on his face. Joseph didn’t think ‘jackass’ warranted soap time but with his father, you never knew. Depended if he felt like being amused.

“Always said your language is going to influence him,” tetíncho Yulian pointed out, following suit in speaking in their mother tongue.

Sticking out his hand for an introduction, Casey grinned “Casey O’Neil at your service, future Bulgarian lord. Nice to meet you.”

Taking the hand, Joseph said in a tone that he made sure noted that he was still annoyed “Joseph Kavinsky. Normally I’d say likewise except I can’t say I’m feeling it after being constantly referred to as an object.”

“Ooh, attitude! Aw, man, it’s gonna be fun working with you when you start! See, your dad genuinely scares the shit out of me, so there’s a line I don’t cross. But with you? Aw, dude, I’m going to drive you up the fucking wall!” He let out a cackling laugh and fist pumped the sky, “I can’t wait!”

This man was just something else. Looking to his father who was finishing up his dinner, Joseph asked “Is he normally like this?”

“Sadly.”

“But you like me!” Casey said in mock hurt. “I’m such a special sort of character, you know?”

“What kind of special,” Joseph snorted with an eye roll. “Because the annoying bad kind is what I’m leaning towards.”

“At the very least,” Don Marchetti cut in with a condescending voice, “He is the ill-mannered sort.”

Casey suddenly looked very aware and his entire demeanor changed. Sticking out his hand to shake with both the Italian lords, he gave his greetings. “You have my apologies, my lords. I was distracted. Happens when you’re a scatterbrained idiot. You have my sincerest apologies for my rudeness.”

“Told you you’re an idiot,” his father smirked. “Now please fuck off so I can finish my food in peace.”

The smile was back in a heartbeat. “Getting rid of me? Fine, fine. I gotta take a piss anyways.”

Not wanting to go to the bathroom alone so he could wash his hands, Joseph took the opening. This guy seemed interesting anyways. “I’ll come with you then. I need to wash my hands.”

“Yeah sure! I get to bug you more.”

Rolling his eyes as he stood, Joseph thought about taking his jacket but then he’d just have to take it off anyways to make sure he didn’t get the sleeves wet. Leaving it on the back of his chair, he walked off with the crazy red head after his father reminded him to watch his abused hand.

“So you’re a mobster, huh?” Joseph asked just to make sure. It was pretty obvious from the content of the conversation but there was no harm in checking.

“Yessir. Irish mob.”

Reaching the bathroom, Joseph held the door for Casey to walk in first. “That’s cool. You’ve worked with my dad?”

“Yup! He needed an explosive expert and Daniel so kindly recommended me.”

That sounded cool. But how did one become an explosives expert? “So did you just start messing with explosives when you were little or something?”

Stopping at a urinal – Joseph actually wasn’t about that life; he preferred using a stall – Casey replied “Pretty much. Got in trouble a lot because of it though. I blew up our garage once.” His cackling laugh erupted. “Man, I was so fucked that day!”

Trying very hard to ignore the sound of piss while washing his hands, Joseph laughed “I bet. Man, if I did that, I’d be in so much trouble.”

Finishing and flushing then zipping himself up, Casey asked as he turned on the faucet “What’s the thing you’ve gotten into the most trouble with?”

Tough question. His guess was Casey meant for doing something stupid, not familial problems. Shutting off the water, Joseph answered “Honestly, no clue. Nothing comes to mind. But I’m sure I’ll end up doing something. Every time my mom looks at me, I can tell she’s dreading me hitting high school next year. Or just growing in general.”

“Yo man, moms are just naturally like that.” He shut off his own faucet and dried his hands. “So, that cake? Watch Daniel’s face when he has to eat his slice.”

Joseph snorted in amusement as they walked out. “I forgot King Daniel doesn’t enjoy sweets.”

“No, sir, he doesn’t. Can’t wait ‘til he has to shove it down his throat.”

 

 

“I hadn’t realized it was so interesting to watch two people eat cake,” his father muttered as Joseph leaned over the table with his knees in his chair so he could see the newlywed couple better.

“Daniel doesn’t like sweets and he’s about to shove a chocolate cake in his mouth. I gotta see.”

His father sat thinking for a second before he actually stood to get a better look. “Good point.”

Great, now he had this tall ass man in his way. “Yo, man, you’re blocking my view. Not everyone is a tall freak like you.”

“Also, the cripple would like to see and he really doesn’t want to have to stand. Move your ass, Ivo,” tetíncho Yulian said while leaning back in his chair a bit. “I’ll poke you with my cane. Move over or sit.”

“See, maybe I was going to,” his father laughed. “But now I refuse because you threatened me. I can beat you with that fancy ass cane of yours.”

“Hey, hey. I already said that’s disrespectful to my gift,” Joseph snorted as he got off his chair and stood next to his father so he didn’t have to try and look over his tall frame.

“Lord Kavinsky, I must note how unnatural it is seeing you like this,” Lord Ratti said with a shake of his head. “Truly odd.”

He could tell his father was dying to snap something at the Italian lord but he, very surprisingly, held his tongue and simply said “Whatever you say, my lord.”

Focusing back on Daniel and Chaerin, Joseph smiled huge when Chaerin put a bite of cake in Daniel’s mouth. As much as he tried not to show it, Daniel ended up scrunching a little when he swallowed. “Ha, knew it.”

“He’s pathetic,” his father muttered. “It’s just a fucking piece of cake.”

“He’s not us, tatko. Doesn’t eat dessert every night. Or morning. Or afternoon. Or, you know, whenever we feel like it.”

“Don’t give him a way out of his stupidity.” Taking his seat once the bride and groom finished sharing and went to take their own seats so the cake could be served, his father sighed “I’m exhausted.”

“And all we did was sit. Imagine if we danced or something,” tetíncho Yulian snorted after a sip of wine. Joseph had this urge to take the glass away and cut the man off. He’d only had two but Joseph felt like that was plenty.

“God fucking forbid. Gross.”

After cake had been served and they ate their slices – which were amazingly delicious – his father finally said the magical words Joseph had been dying for. “Ready to go?”

“Yes, yes I am.”

“Then let’s go talk to Daniel and we’ll head out.” He stood then and stuck out his hand for the Italian lords, shaking goodbye with each of them. “Have a good rest of your night, gentlemen.”

Standing and taking the hand after Lord Ratti, Don Marchetti replied “And you, Lord Kavinsky. I’m not going to lie, I didn’t expect being seated with you would turn out rather enjoyable.” Sticking out his hand for Joseph, he added “Mostly because of this brilliant young man. It’s been a pleasure, Joseph.”

Well that was sweet. “Thank you, sir. It’s been my own.”

“Very fine manners,” Lord Ratti smiled as they shook hands. “An honor to your father, you are.”

“Thank you,” Joseph smiled in reply. Who would have thought he could impress a couple of big time gangsters?

As they walked over to Daniel’s table, his father seemed to agree. “I have to say, you did a lot better than I thought you would. I was a little worried.”

“Ah, so I impressed you too, huh?” Joseph asked happily. “Good to know.”

“For the record,” tetíncho Yulian joined in, “I never doubted you for a second. I knew you had it. All that was required was common sense and good manners. And while your manners can lack quite a bit sometimes, your common sense is pretty good.”

Joseph didn’t know whether to be offended or not. It was both an insult and a compliment. “My manners are always kickass, thank you.”

“Kickass, huh?” his father repeated in a light tone.

Man, was his mouth running today. “What I meant to say was that I have amazing manners.”

“Oh yeah,” his father snorted, “You completely just proved that with your nasty mouth.”

To him, kickass wasn’t that bad but Joseph decided to just fall silent and let it go as they reached Daniel’s table. He kept his fingers crossed that his father didn’t want to be amused tonight by counting down the minutes with Joseph having soap in his mouth.

“My Lord Kavinsky,” Daniel smiled as he stood, sticking out his hand. “Truly, thank you for coming.”

“My pleasure,” his father smiled, accepting and shaking the hand offered. “Thank you for the invitation. A very beautiful wedding. May you both have a life filled with good fortune together.”

“Thank you,” Daniel replied, his grin still huge. “I sure hope so.”

“Don’t be negative! It’s bad energy!” Chaerin laughed as she stood to greet his father. “Chaerin, sir.”

“Ivo Kavinsky,” his father responded while giving her his hand. “The pleasure is mine.”

“No! All mine, sir!” She grinned huge to Joseph. “Hi again!”

“Hi,” he greeted back. Joseph couldn’t help but get caught in her enthusiasm. “Your cake was delicious.”

Laughing as she sat back down, Chaerin replied “Thank you! Me and Johanna picked the flavor! Daniel’s not huge on sweets.”

“Oh yeah, I know,” Joseph smirked. “We all could see his face when he took his first bite.”

“Don’t be a jerk,” Daniel muttered. “I can’t help what I like, you know.”

“How’s your hand?” Johanna cut in while tetíncho Yulian gave his regards to the newlyweds. “Not bad I hope?”

Joseph was about to answer and say that no, he was alright even though he kind of wasn’t with the constant pain. But that didn’t happen.

Because his father cut in to his surprise.

“You seem to like hurting my family quite a bit, don’t you?” his father asked with that polite smile that actually meant he felt like breaking something and with a voice that was feather light. Joseph had no idea why his father suddenly felt like hurting someone but there was nothing he could do about it.

Sucked for Johanna.

Her face went bright red as she turned her gaze away from his. Joseph didn’t blame her; his father’s gaze wasn’t easy to hold for a long time. “I guess I’m accident prone.”

“Be accident prone away from my family, yes? I like them in _one piece_.”

_Poor Venc._

“My lord,” Daniel cut in, his voice grinding hard. Joseph’s guess was that he was dying to defend his sister but he knew it’d come off as rude.

Smiling even wider as he turned to face Daniel, his father raised a brow and said “I wish you a life of happiness, King Daniel, and the blessings that come with it. We’ve known each other quite a while and I truly wouldn’t want anything less for you.”

“My happiness comes with the happiness of my sister-”

“So Chaerin,” Joseph interrupted loudly with a smile as though he wasn’t cutting off a dangerous conversation. “Where to for the honeymoon?”

The bride was glancing between her new husband and Joseph’s father in confusion but put a smile on her face regardless. “We’re thinking Greece. It’s looks stunning.”

“It is very beautiful,” tetíncho Yulian joined in. “I mean, I went what feels like hundreds of years ago but I doubt it’s become any less to look at then it was.”

“I can’t wait! I’m sure it’s going to be fantastic!”

Flicking back into a little less of an asshole, his father replied “I’m sure it will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather   
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')  
> Стринка (strínka) – a father’s brother’s wife


	161. Chapter 160

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> Practice makes perfect, you know? Joseph knows.
> 
> No update Tuesday. Sorry guys. I have a couple chpts that I wrote but I need to focus on school.  
> Enjoy today and see everyone Thursday ^.^
> 
> _“Joseph, if they can’t even accept you for who you are, then how are they even parents?"_

“Maybe this isn’t such a good idea…” Joseph trailed off, mostly to himself although his companion, of course, could hear him and would definitely have something to say about it.

It was just the way she was.

“It’s a brilliant idea. Just do it, Joseph. What’s the worst that could happen?” Diana asked as she stared down at Joseph’s newest dream creation. “It looks perfect. Now do it.”

“I really…” This just wasn’t feeling right. But…other dreamers had to do it, right? Try it at least once? His prádyado sure did when prábaba Kalina died.

So maybe Joseph just had to give it a shot.

Heart fluttering in his chest on extreme overload mode, he breathed deep and closed his eyes.

Focusing all his energy on what needed to come out with him.

_C’mon, wake up, wake up._

Opening his eyes, he groaned in frustration when he realized he was still in the forest. He needed to find – needed to create – some way where he could wake up when he needed to. Sometimes if he willed himself enough, he could manage it. But those times were always rare. It simply depended on how good his subconscious was currently feeling.

Currently, it was either too tired or just felt like being a complete bitch.

“Goddammit,” Joseph muttered.

“You’re supposed to get better, not worse, foolish child,” Diana snorted.

“Shut up and let me work.” Concentrating on what was before him again, except this time a thousand times harder, Joseph took a deep breath and held it.

 _Wake up_ .

He woke up.

Blinking groggily as he sat up in bed, Joseph didn’t find anything in his bed with him besides for the ever lovely Peanut who was fast asleep. Fast asleep and probably dreaming on account of all the twitching.

Returning his attention where it really should be because if his dream worked, there was something here that his parents really didn’t need to know existed.

Scooting to the edge of his full-sized bed that needed a new mattress because he made a hole in this one, Joseph peered down to the floor. That was typically where things ended up if not in bed with him.

And there it was.

But not how it should be.

And it was fucking disgusting.

Clearing his throat but quietly because he didn’t know if his mother so happened to have been passing to get water or not, Joseph steeled his heart firm.

Because this part would be unpleasant.

He fucking told Diana but no, when did she ever listen to what he said?

Never.

Dragging himself to the foot of the bed so he didn’t have to get off next to the failed creation, Joseph dropped down to his floor to grab his special box. It wasn’t thee ‘special box’ with all his important things though.

It was the other one.

Filled with a variety of possible useful for the future concoctions.

Like very very _very…_

Fast acting acid.

The smell of it was vile but it worked serious miracles. Lucky for him, he had his own bathroom with its own shower.

It’s like somehow, his parents knew he’d need it one day beyond just the necessities.

Lucky him.

Pulling one of the bottles from its section, Joseph very carefully stood and walked to the bathroom, making sure to avoid looking at the mess before he actually had to. The bottle of acid was sealed really well but Joseph wasn’t taking any chances; one time a drop had gotten on his toe and Jesus.

He really wished he had been able to scream in pain that night. What remained of his suffering was this odd looking dark hole in his toe.

Joseph set the bottle on the floor of the shower after opening the door and went back to grab some gloves from his kit. No way he was touching that shit with his bare hands. After the gloves had been slipped on, he turned on his lamp by his bed but made sure to set it to the dimmest setting just in case.

Man, it would have been better if he had left the light off.

Jesus, this thing was fucking disgusted.

“Stupid Diana,” he muttered ever so quietly. He knew that he should have never let her talk him into this. “Goddammit. She’s not the one stuck cleaning this shit.”

Sighing because complaining was definitely not getting him anywhere, Joseph grasped the disgusting thing by its ankles and started to drag it towards the bathroom.

And dear God was that a mistake.

Because where the thing was missing the skin covering his skull on the side of his head?

It seemed the skull plates on the back of his head didn’t come out from the dream either.

Brain matter smearing all over his floor was beyond disgusting. Was he allowed to throw up now because Jesus fucking Christ did he want to.

Jesus fucking Christ.

“Breathe in through the nose, out through the mouth, Joseph. No big deal,” he encouraged himself. His pep talk was garbage really because it wasn’t doing shit but at least he was trying. “In nose, out mouth,” Joseph continued to whisper to himself as he dragged the ruined body into his bathroom. He let out a sigh of relief once he made it to the shower and shoved the thing fully in.

Just ew.

Popping the lid off the acid, Joseph poured it all over the creation gone horribly wrong. No eyes, ruined head, drooping skin that just didn’t fit right, and who knew whether he got all the insides right.

“Dammit,” Joseph griped as he watched the body dissolve. What he should have done instead of acting like a disgusted idiot, was to strip the thing, make sure he at least got all the external stuff right, and then opened it up to check out his organ work.

Dammit.

“Okay, no biggie,” he sighed because actually it was a huge fucking biggie.

Dammit.

 

 

“Why do you look so exhausted?” Micah asked as they sat on the bench in their ‘dugout.’ It wasn’t exactly a dugout because they were just on the regular field practicing for their next game of the season but close enough.

Shrugging because he couldn’t tell this acquaintance of his that he was busy practicing making human beings in the dark of his bedroom, Joseph sighed “Just tired.”

“Not tired,” Micah snorted in disbelief. “Exhausted. Like so beyond exhausted that your bags have bags, man. What the hell?”

Yeah, he had noticed.

Actually, everyone had noticed.

_“Baby, you okay?” his mother asked in concern when she sat across from him at the dining table. He, of course, had settled for cereal while she had chosen some eggs and toast. “You look terrible. Not sleep okay?”_

_She probably thought he had had a nightmare or something. It definitely wouldn’t cross her mind that he had taken out two bad experiments from his brain._

_That was all he had been able to manage. A measly two. He had just been too exhausted after that. Creating a human and then taking them out was extremely exhausting. It expended so much energy and left him with mind throbbing headaches._

_Headaches that still currently plagued him._

_“No worries, mayko,” Joseph sighed. “No nightmares. I’m just tired is all. Didn’t sleep too well but not from anything; I just couldn’t.”_

_“Rough night?”_

_“Something like that,” he replied tiredly while spooning around his Fruit Loops. “But don’t worry, no nightmares.”_

_The concern was still etched deeply on her face but she let it go. “I can’t help but worry. You know me. Maybe try a nap when you get home today. You’ll be exhausted after practice anyways.”_

_“Yeah,” he breathed in exhaustion. Man had he looked terrible when he had looked in the mirror this morning. His eyes were surrounded by dark circles and it looked like they were sinking in from all the tiredness. Even his skin didn’t look so great._

_He was just all around blah._

_“Morning,” his mother smiled up to the stairs behind Joseph. “Why do my men seem so tired today?”_

_The sound of his father slipping on his shoes and then the clipping of them as he walked to the kitchen wasn’t even loud and yet every noise made Joseph’s brain throb. His head hurt so bad._

_“Your men are tired because they haven’t figured out the art of sleep,” his father laughed in reply as he put himself some breakfast from what his mother had left for him on the stove after setting his suit jacket on the couch. “Unlike the amazing lady of the house.”_

_“Maybe you guys need lessons or something,” she snorted in amusement. “Or at least Joseph does. He’s worse.”_

_“I’m fine,” he muttered over his cereal. Dreaming required a lot of physical strength it seemed. Well, he always knew but now he really knew. He couldn’t even begin to imagine how much strength a dreamer needed to create their limbo world._

_His father walked over and set his plate on the table, taking his seat. The bite of oatmeal stopped halfway to his mouth when he really took Joseph in. “The fuck, brat? You look like you haven’t slept in weeks.”_

_“Just tired.”_

_“Just tired?” his father repeated incredulously. “Bullshit. I know you’re an insomniac but Jesus Christ.”_

_“We’ll talk about it with the doctor in a few days. I’m sure they’ll figure it out.”_

_This was news. “Doctor?” He’d already done his physical for the team._

_He hated doctors._

_“Yeah. They want to check up how you’re doing.”_

_“How I’m doing? Doing what?”_

_“Off the pills,” his father answered. “Gotta make sure you’re fine.”_

_“I’ve been off them for years. I’m fine,” Joseph snapped in annoyance. This was ridiculous._

_Irritation flashed onto his father’s face. “Check your attitude.”_

_“Whatever,” he muttered with an eyeroll as he stood and grabbed his plate. There was nothing more he hated than doctor visits. Especially doctor visits that included picking apart his brain. “I don’t need a doctor. I’m fine.”_

_Actually, he was so far from fine it wasn’t funny but no one needed to know that._

The car ride to school hadn’t been pleasant. It was filled with a lot of ‘I’m your father, have some goddamn respect’ and ‘that attitude needs to be watched.’

But no abuse so Joseph considered it a win.

“I’m fine,” Joseph said to Micah. “Really.”

“Dude, maybe you should see the nurse or something. That is not normal.”

Frustration boiled within him. Why did everyone stick themselves where they shouldn’t? “I don’t need to see the fucking nurse. Just leave me the fuck alone.”

Micah stared at him with wide surprised eyes which quickly became angry. “Sorry for caring.” Standing abruptly, he went to join the other players.

That was fine with him.

“Huh,” a voice came from behind him. “I always thought you were the quiet type but am I wrong?”

Turning his head, Joseph gave an unimpressed look to the garbage behind him. He hated this guy almost as much as he hated Tanner. Ironically, Tanner had also been held back like Joseph so they still had just a year between them. But Tanner was a freshman now and probably went to the same high school Emilio did, actually. In the same grade too.

He wondered if they had ever run into each other.

Because of that, Joseph’s year so far had been nice and peaceful. The bullying had subsided from blows to just words ever since Tanner’s dad started working for his own father though. So it hadn’t been too bad after that.

But then there was this guy.

Laysen Chang. New student this year and the annoying ‘hotshot’ who Joseph was dying to just punch at least once.

It didn’t help that Laysen wanted Joseph’s position as pitcher.

“Can you fuck off? Thanks.”

With a smirk, Laysen walked closer. “Huh…major attitude. Interesting.”

“Far more than you’ll ever be. Now fuck off.” To make his point, Joseph turned his back to him and watched his teammates up for the current round practice.

With a snort, Laysen replied as Joseph could feel him right behind him “Don’t feel like it, Kavinsky. So I have a question.”

“Don’t care.”

“You should. Now my question, dear Joseph, is…” Laysen laughed then and plopped down beside Joseph on the bench. “Are you one?”

Confusion filled him. “Am I one what?”

“It’s normal for athletes to change in front of each other, you know? We all do it all the time. Football players do it all the time to. And being that you’re my competition, I’ve been kinda paying attention to you. And what’s weird…” he rubbed his chin and laughed again while wrapping an arm around Joseph’s shoulders. “What’s weird is how you always make sure to stare at the floor.”

Was it possible for hearts to actually come out through a person’s throat? Because that was exactly how Joseph felt right now. He stared at the floor because he was worried that if he looked anywhere people might notice how he watched them. Emilio was his everything but Joseph couldn’t help but be curious. It wasn’t like he was trying to see dicks, he just wanted to look in general.

And even though he hadn’t, someone had taken notice.

“So I stare at the floor,” Joseph snorted in anger. He wouldn’t let on to Laysen how much he just got to him. “Who gives a shit?”

“Are you one?”

“Am I one what.” Joseph knew what was coming and God was he dreading it.

Leaning in a little, Laysen whispered “Are you a faggot?”

When he had heard the word come out of his father’s mouth, Joseph had been confused and hurt. But upon hearing it from Laysen?

Anger was ready to erupt.

It was surprising, really, how angry he was from hearing the word. Maybe it was because Emilio had taught him that he should never stand for it.

But unlike Emilio, Joseph was still shaky with his own acceptance. Especially in public in front of so many boys.

He was angry because he didn’t want to be known as gay. And while that made him slightly disgusted with himself because he was supposed to be gay and proud with an amazing boyfriend, Joseph wouldn’t stand to be known as the fag of the baseball team.

Especially if someone felt like whispering it around and somehow his family caught word of it.

You never knew.

So while Joseph was angry that he was being called a fag, he was even more angry about something else.

About being known as gay.

He didn’t need that stigma in his life.

“What did you just call me?” he hissed, throwing Laysen’s arm off him. “I think I may have heard you wrong.”

Raising his brow, Laysen replied “Nah, you heard right. Faggot.”

So Joseph had attitude issues. Who cared? He was the son of Ivo Kavinsky for God’s sake.

King of attitude problems.

Later when asked why he did it, Joseph would reply simply “I had a long night.”

Because really, if he had gotten a good night’s sleep, actually had a successful human creation, or didn’t have to see a doctor in a few days because his parents were overly concerned with his mental health, Joseph probably wouldn’t have done it.

Probably.

“You’re going to regret that,” Joseph smiled that sick smile he had seen his father wear when he meant danger right before he tackled the annoying bastard to the floor.

And punched.

And punched.

And punched the motherfucker in his mouth. That word was never coming out of it again.

Not a chance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')  
> Стринка (strínka) – a father’s brother’s wife


	162. Chapter 161

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> "I like this chapter" says the girl who always likes lots of chpts.  
> Emilio. Joseph. Fight. Makeup. Sweetness. Joseph style inappropriateness.  
> Sounds pretty good to me.
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> _“I don’t like people picking through my brain.”_

“…because I sure as fuck am not a fag,” Joseph snorted in anger. “No way in hell.”

“Of course not,” Emilio agreed. Not a single person in this world was a fag no matter what anyone liked to say. “Nobody is.”

“I’m not a fag,” Joseph repeated while turning his head to look at Emilio from abuela’s bed. He had come over today once Emilio got home from school because he apparently wanted to tell him all about the fight that had gotten him suspended for a week yesterday.

Emilio’s boyfriend was a bad boy.

Sounded nice to him.

“Yeah, no one is,” Emilio reiterated. “Nice job on standing up for yourself.”

A conflicted look covered his boyfriend’s face. “Thanks.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Who said anything was? Well, besides for the obvious that I just told you about.”

There was more. Boyfriend _and_ friend intuition. Plus detective. Emilio had lots of intuitions. “There’s something else. What else?”

“I…I didn’t want to be known as a fag.”

Confusion flooded him. “Nobody does. Don’t be stupid. It’s a stupid-”

“Horrible offensive word. Yeah, I know,” Joseph interrupted as he turned his gaze back to the ceiling. “But that’s not what I meant.”

“Then?”

Taking a deep breath, Joseph answered “I don’t want to be known as the ‘gay guy.’”

His heart stilled at these words. In three months, he and Joseph would have been together for a year. A year of beauty and happiness filled with wonderful days and even more wonderful kisses.

Among other things.

But that wasn’t the point. Almost a year and then Joseph had to say this?

It was like he was disgusted.

Disgusted of them.

Disgusted of Emilio?

That’s when he realized something else in Joseph’s anger and wording. “Did you just compare homosexuals to fags? Is that what you’re saying?” He could literally feel his anger start to burn deep inside. There were few things that made him genuinely pissed. He just wasn’t the type to get angry.

But this sort of stuff just made his blood boil.

Joseph rolled his eyes as if this was all some sort of joke. “Don’t be stupid. I’m just saying that I can’t be known as gay at school. As an athlete. As a baseball player. As a person who changes in a locker room with other guys. It just can’t happen. Ever.”

“What about next year?” Emilio asked, his tone easily laying out his irritation and anger.

Looking confused, Joseph replied “What about it?”

“We’re going to finally be together in the same school.”

Grinning, Joseph said happily “Yeah, I know. Great, right?”

Great, yes, but that wasn’t what he was going for. “Fantastic actually because I get to have my best friend and boyfriend with me.”

Understanding dawned on Joseph as the grin slipped away.

Then his face hardened.

“Emilio, we’re not advertising that. That’s just between us. Private.”

Sitting up on his bed, Emilio clenched his fist tight against his mattress – the only visible sign of his feelings right now. “Not advertising that? It’s not wrong for me to want people to know I’m with an amazing guy. It’s not fucking wrong for us to be a fucking couple in school just like all those annoying straight people who just _love to advertise_ what they have.”

“I don’t know what is wrong with you but you’re being ridiculous right now,” Joseph muttered as he too sat up. “Take a fucking chill pill or something. Also, cursing doesn’t suit you.”

“I’m being ridiculous?” Emilio asked incredulously. He couldn’t believe this. It was a good thing it was just them today so they could have a fight in peace. Every couple needed their official real big first. “Are you listening to yourself?”

“Yes,” Joseph snapped, his eyes flashing. “I’m not going to just let everyone know what I am. Maybe that works for you, but it sure doesn’t fly for me. High school is a shit storm by itself not to add people hating on me because I love you. It’s not their business. At school, we just act like friends, nothing else.”

Oh man, did that hurt like a bitch.

“Nothing else,” he said quietly as he nodded and stared down at the floor. “Nothing the fuck else.” How were they going to have a forever if Joseph wouldn’t even accept himself?

“Emilio,” Joseph said softly, all his vigor long gone as if it hadn’t been there just seconds before. “Emilio, I don’t mean anything by that. You mean everything to me. You know that. But us being a thing in school is just going to give us problems. Give me especially because I don’t plan on dropping baseball anytime soon. Give me especially because how do I know that somehow my parents won’t find out?”

“Your happiness is worth more than a high school baseball career and your parents.”

The annoyance was back in less than a second, flickering back onto his face. “Just like your parents are important to you, mine are to me. They matter, thank you.”

Glaring back up to his boyfriend, Emilio snorted “Joseph, if they can’t even accept you for who you are, then how are they even parents? How is their love even real?”

Flinching, Joseph’s face was full of hurt. But it changed to fury in seconds, his eyes flashing as he stood. It didn’t matter that he was taller now and it didn’t matter that Emilio knew that Joseph’s anger could be terrifying like his father’s.

Emilio wasn’t going to be intimidated. Because he wasn’t here to be treated the way Mr. Kavinsky probably treated his ‘loved ones’ in his life when he grew angry.

So he stood. Emilio wasn’t going to be talked down to and he wasn’t going to accept being treated badly just because his boyfriend didn’t want to hear the truth. “I’m not asking you to accept kisses in the halls twenty-four seven or even take hugs. But you can at least treat me like I mean something to you. I get your fears, I really do. I’m not saying go yell off the roof that you’re gay, all I’m saying-”

“No,” Joseph cut in with intensity. “The same way I’ll be treating Andrey in school, is the way I’ll be treating you. We’re just going to be normal. No stealing lovey dovey smiles, no knowing smirks. Nothing.”

It was weird going to school with Andrey a year above him, if he was honest. But Andrey had been working hard on getting into a gate school for next year. He probably wouldn’t even be in the same school once Joseph came next year. Anka would have been joining them with Joseph but the girl was smarter than all of them combined – she’d already been accepted to an honors school.

“So you’re disgusted of me? Embarrassed? Is that it?”

His boyfriend’s emotions rewired in seconds as shock and panic took over him. “No! God no, Emilio!” Walking over while digging a hole in his lip with his teeth, Joseph grasped Emilio’s hands tight and murmured “That’s not what I meant. I’m sorry it sounded that way.”

Emilio wasn’t sure if he was feeling totally forgiving right now.

“I’m sorry,” Joseph repeated softly as grasped Emilio’s face and leaned down for a kiss. Leaned down because the bastard just kept growing and was now five inches taller than Emilio’s meager 5’2’’. The kiss started soft and sweet but typical of them and their hungry appetite nowadays, it turned fast and demanding only seconds later as they devoured each other.

But Emilio wasn’t done talking yet.

Putting space between them, Emilio caught his breath before saying “Joseph, I just-”

His boyfriend was into the tactic of shutting him up with kisses. It was lovely really because the way Joseph kissed was mind blowing but he really had stuff to say.

Not that he’d get any of it out.

 

 

“When we finish high school,” Joseph murmured as he nuzzled Emilio’s ear. “We should move to California.”

They ended up all kissed and groped out as they squished themselves together on Emilio’s small bed. It was nice, actually, because they were squashed together. Emilio between the wall and his boyfriend while on his back and Joseph half on him, laying on his stomach. He had a slight feeling that the reason he was between the wall and partially beneath Joseph was because his boyfriend wanted a way to stay in control of the situation to make sure that if Emilio tried bringing anything up again, he could shut him down fast.

“Why California?” Emilio asked in surprise, tapping a rhythm on Joseph’s back softly. He had loved San Diego but Emilio wasn’t sure if he was comfortable moving away from his family. Or even New Jersey for that matter; he may have been born and half raised in Connecticut but Jersey was what felt like home.

It’d feel even more like home if abuela wasn’t out visiting their family in his birth state but whatever.

“It’d just be easier for us. Hey, when we get older… do you think we’ll marry?”

His fingers faltered for a few seconds before carrying their rhythm once more as he turned to face Joseph, their noses now brushing against each other. He’d asked Joseph the minute he came in why he looked so damn exhausted but his boyfriend had pled lack of sleep. That was typical but how Joseph looked now was slightly ridiculous. He was truly a mess.

Emilio felt like he was hiding something.

But for the life of him, he couldn’t figure out what the hell it was.

“Is that something you’d like?” It was something Emilio would love. Except he wasn’t sure if it was legal or not. It was a state by state thing and Emilio knew that it wasn’t in Jersey. But maybe it was in California?

He’d have to ask his dad.

Blinking back at him, Joseph murmured “Is it something you’d like? I thought we were for forever and always?”

Smiling a crooked grin, Emilio stole a kiss before replying “We are. Forever and always, Joseph Kavinsky. Never anything less. No matter what.”

They had promised each other those words what felt like hundreds of years ago.

Back when they had only known each other for a few months.

_“Are the beads special?” Joseph asked curiously as he rubbed the beads of the bracelet Emilio had given him for his birthday a few days ago. “They’re really pretty.”_

_“My grandma actually carved them,” Emilio bragged happily. He wondered if other people had cool grandmas like his._

_Not possible, he decided._

_“Wow, she’s really good!” Joseph smiled as he examined the bracelet on his wrist closely. “They all look almost exactly the same.”_

_“She’s been doing it for a while,” Emilio revealed. “So I thought you’d like something a bit more personal and she suggested bracelets.”_

_“Anything you would have gotten would have been perfect no matter what,” his friend replied, turning his gaze up from the bracelet. “But this is extra special and always will be to me. Thank you.”_

_Smiling wide, Emilio said “You’re welcome. We’re gonna be friends forever, you know that right? That’s it, you’re wearing my bracelet.”_

_“I am owned,” Joseph snorted in his fit of laughter._

_“Yes,” Emilio laughed along to their joke. Setting his wrist next to Joseph’s so their matching bracelets were side by side like their bearers, Emilio added “Forever and always.”_

_“Never anything less,” Joseph nodded with full surety, his brown eyes sparkling._

_“No matter what,” he proclaimed. They’d be friends until the day they died. And well, if they were ever destined to be more than that, Emilio couldn’t wait. Even if they weren’t and they were only set on friends for life, Emilio would be happy. “Forever and always, Joseph Kavinsky. Never anything less. No matter what.”_

“We should have a small wedding, I think,” Joseph murmured after pressing a kiss to Emilio’s lips. “I mean, Daniel’s was beautiful buuut…I don’t know if I’m about all that. Seemed kind of stressful.”

Slipping his hand under Joseph’s shirt to tap his rhythm because over the clothes wasn’t as satisfying anymore, Emilio liked the idea. “Yeah, me neither. Small is good. I think I’d like a park.”

“Ooh parks are pretty. Good idea.” Scooting closer even though Emilio didn’t think it was possible, Joseph whispered “I love you, Emilio. I’m sorry for making you feel bad earlier.”

They were okay on that end even though Emilio was still slightly upset that Joseph didn’t want to be a couple at school. It wasn’t that he didn’t get, he did, but he still wanted to be the way the other couples were with their smiles and love.

It wasn’t fair.

Straight couples just went around and shoved their affection in everyone’s faces whether they liked it or not. And to everyone, that was okay. But if it was a homosexual couple – guy or girl – hell arose because it was ‘wrong’ or ‘nasty.’

It wasn’t fair.

“Emilio?” Joseph whispered in concern. “You love me, right?”

He literally flinched from his surprise of the question. “Of course, I love you. Why would you ask that?”

Gnawing his lip, Joseph asked “You wouldn’t lie to me, right?”

“Joseph,” Emilio laughed softly while shaking his head. “Joseph, I love you. Immensely. Don’t be silly.”

His boyfriend hummed and set his head on Emilio’s shoulder but he didn’t seem convinced. But why? Did Emilio ever make him feel unloved or something? “Joseph, I love you,” he repeated just in case it needed be. “Forever and always, remember?”

Nodding, Joseph mumbled “I remember but…but what if you don’t mean it? What if you think you love me but you don’t? What if you’re confused? Maybe I’m not worth lots of love.”

Okay, he really _was_ confused right now. Not about his feelings though.

About Joseph.

There were times when Emilio worried about how little Joseph valued himself. How often he questioned things. It just didn’t seem normal or healthy to him. Was everything okay?

Sometimes, Emilio wasn’t so sure.

Putting in all the strength he had, Emilio rolled them over so he was on top and they, luckily, didn’t fall off the bed.

That would have been hilarious.

Joseph stared up at him in surprise but a small smile grew on his handsome face that was already getting some hair. Emilio didn’t get why his boyfriend was growing faster than he was when he had always been the taller one. Not to mention he was older by a few months.

Holding Joseph’s face in his hands, Emilio pressed a kiss to his boyfriend’s lips. “Joseph, I love you. I will always love you. No matter what.” He sucked his boyfriend’s lip into his mouth before breaking apart and continuing. “I love you because you are amazing and if there is one thing I’ve never been confused about, it’s loving you. It’s my feelings for you. Because you, dear Joseph, are perfect.”

“Perfect?” Joseph whispered in amazement like he couldn’t comprehend that word being attributed to him. “I can’t be perfect, Emilio. You’re perfect and I’m so far from being like you, it’s laughable.”

Grin on his face, Emilio snorted “Joseph, it’s laughable that you think that.”

“Why? I’m not that great of a person, you know. I’m actually a terrible person. Not to mention that I’m kinda just worthless. Why do you waste your time loving me?”

Should he go cheesy? _Eh, sure why not._ “You, Joseph Kavinsky, are my perfect. My form of perfect. I love you just the way you are.” He pressed another kiss. “And you,” kiss, “are,” kiss, “not,” kiss, “worthless.”

Still looking like a deer in headlights, Joseph asked quietly “Your perfect?”

“Yessir. Nobody is ever gonna make me feel the way you do. No one will ever complete me the way you do. And that, good sir, is fact.”

Resting his hands at the small of Emilio’s back, Joseph smiled “Your perfect, huh? I like that. Maybe I’m not perfect but I’m _your_ perfect.” Squeezing a little, he added “That’s even better.”

“You bet it is,” Emilio laughed, resting his forehead on Joseph’s. He had no clue what was happening in his friend’s brain to bring up such thoughts but Emilio was glad he could relieve them for the time being.

“When we have sex,” Joseph started, sounding much more like himself, “Which of us gets to top first? I call dibs.”

Breaking into full blown laughter, Emilio replied “We’ll worry about it when we get there.”

“Mmm, are we getting there anytime soon? My dick’s kinda tired of only what we’ve been doing. Like, he loves it and all, but he’s dying for just a bit more.”

No one knew how to make him blush like this except his boyfriend. “I don’t want to rush it.”

Looking slightly disappointed, Joseph sighed “Okay. But seriously, Emilio, my penis does not enjoy being rejected.”

From what Emilio could feel from the way their hips were pressed together, he had to disagree. “The guy feels pretty happy to me right now.”

“That’s because he’s always happy around you,” Joseph answered cheekily. “I think I’m going to get him pierced. What do you think? You’ll technically be on the receiving end for that so your opinion is important in the matter.”

Emilio could feel how huge his eyes got. “You want to pierce your dick? Are you crazy? You don’t let people stick needles down there!”

Shaking with laughter which just rubbed their aching erections together even more, Joseph snorted “Ima pierce my balls too.”

This guy was a crazy one. “You’re nuts.”

“Yeah, bromilio, my balls.”

“No,” Emilio corrected with an eye roll. “I mean you’re crazy.”

“Oh, well, yeah, that too.” Getting himself a bit more comfortable against the pillows, Joseph added “I read that there’s also piercings where they put it in through-”

“I don’t want to know,” Emilio interrupted by pressing a hand to Joseph’s mouth to keep it closed. His dick was throbbing from more than just arousal now. It was like phantom pain or something. Just the talk of needles assaulting such a fragile part freaked him out.

Removing the hand but keeping a hold on his wrist, Joseph asked “So what do you think? I really want to at least get two or three along the bottom. Oh, oh, and there’s like barbells and stuff that go atop everything. Like in the pubic area. Cool or what?”

Yep, his boyfriend was insane. “Oh my God, Joseph.”

“What?” he asked incredulously. “It’s really cool. You, Emilio Vidal, are going to have the coolest looking boyfriend even if he isn’t even worth that much.”

“I already told you that you are,” Emilio cut in firmly. “I’m serious, Joseph. You’re amazing.”

Rolling his eyes but giving in for the time, Joseph continued “He’s gonna be all tatted up and pierced like hell. And have a medical degree for animals along with a bachelors in mechanics. Bam. Hell, he’s such a considerate boyfriend that he’s getting his dick pierced because it apparently makes sex even better.” He paused for a minute before he added “And because it’s really cool and he real wants to do it anyways.”

“You’re still assuming that you’re topping,” Emilio snorted in amusement. “I may be the short one in this relationship but that doesn’t necessarily mean anything in terms of dick size. I like to think I have a very nice one.”

Pupils dilating even more than they had been, Joseph smirked “I bet it’s amazing. Thing is? You won’t let me give my opinion yet. And let’s face it, my dick’s probably bigger than yours.”

Two could play at the confidence game. _You can do this without blushing, goddamn you Emilio. Don’t blush. It’s just conversation._ “Someone’s a cocky bastard.”

“When you see what I’ve got, you’d agree.”

Dammit.

He was blushing.

Clearing his throat and trying to act all nonchalant, Emilio said “Whatever you say, Kavinsky. Now, we have about an hour before anyone comes home-”

Joseph raised a suggestive brow. “I have ideas of what we could do until then.”

“I’m sure you do but I’ve got something better. What that is, is making sure my boyfriend doesn’t look like he’s dying. So we are gonna take a nap.”

Disappointment flitted onto Joseph’s face. “A nap…”

“Yup,” Emilio replied, rolling back over next to the wall. “A nice nap so my boyfriend’s bags won’t have bags.”

“Ugh,” Joseph grumbled as he cuddled back up to Emilio’s side. “You people need to get different lines.”

“Whatever,” Emilio sighed in content as he rested his head against Joseph’s. “Love you, broseph.”

Already looking sleepy, Joseph smiled softy and whispered “Love you too, bromilio.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')  
> Стринка (strínka) – a father’s brother’s wife


	163. Chapter 162

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> This story is so close to done, it's crazy. We're like at the homestretch. The end is around the corner. I gotta reread the Raven Cycle before I start the next story to make sure I get Henrietta right when I start writing it. I think that story is gonna be harder to write just because I'll be working a world that isn't mine. That'll be fun
> 
> I'll see you guys Tuesday and enjoy today's success
> 
> _“Jesus, it’s like you’ve seen your first dead body or something.”_

The question had been eating at him for the past week. Joseph wasn’t the type to be embarrassed; he asked what he needed and moved on.

But he felt like asking his mother this question was a bit odd.

It wasn’t his fault that the memory had come up unbidden. In fact, Joseph had forgotten about it for years, never having given it too much thought.

Until last week.

When a guy in class was saying that if his girl got one for him, he’d be happy because she needed it.

Joseph felt like his girl, whoever she was, deserved a thousand times better than what she had in her boyfriend.

However, that wasn’t what was eating at him.

It was that he felt like he remembered it having some sort of relation to his mother in a way. He couldn’t remember exactly, but Joseph was sure he remembered hearing something when he was little.

Which was why he kept glancing at his mom’s boobs.

Granted, that made him slightly weird and possibly perverted but he wanted to see if he could tell without asking.

Too bad for him though.

Because she caught him staring.

Raising a brow while getting dinner ready, his mother asked “Something wrong?”

Blushing slightly, Joseph cleared his throat and focused on his lunch before him. He actually missed school and he definitely missed baseball where he was benched for two games for fighting. Once this week’s suspension was finished, he was allowed to go to practice at least. His days were boring as hell because he didn’t have any new books, Peanut was a lazy ass, and getting into trouble wasn’t fun without Emilio who had an essay due by Friday.

So his boyfriend’s focus was there.

Also, Joseph was just too exhausted anyways. Every night, he tried to create a person.

And every night it ended with two or three failures.

Joseph was going to figure it out if it killed him of exhaustion. It wasn’t that he was really that into creating a person but now that he started, it was like a disease. He had to figure out this puzzle no matter what.

Adjusting himself because he was slipping off his stool at the island, Joseph replied “No.”

His mother hummed with a shake of her head and went back to the pot on the stove. She liked getting everything ready early so that way she could relax during the afternoon. When she turned to set a bowl on the island, Joseph couldn’t help himself.

He stared again.

“What.”

Clearing his throat again, he stumbled “Uh…um…o-okay…question.”

“Yeah, I was feeling that. Although I’m pretty sure you understand boobs so I haven’t been able to figure out why you keep staring.”

Laughing and feeling a bit more at ease, Joseph began “You can’t get offended.”

“No problem. Shoot.”

“Okay,” Joseph nodded, feeling a bit more confident. “Are your boobs fake?”

The mixture of what he felt like might be batter for something they might be frying tonight stopped getting stirred as she stared at him with wide eyes. “Excuse me?”

“You said you wouldn’t get offended!”

“I didn’t expect my child to ask if I had fake boobs!”

“Well do you?” He remembered hearing something about fake parts before when he was little. It wasn’t something he had understood as a single digit child but he sure did now. “I’m just curious.”

Sighing and resuming her stirring, his mother answered “They’re not fake. They’re…enhanced. Just a little extra help. God.”

Groaning as he rubbed his face in frustration, he muttered “Mayko, I’m not judging. I was only curious.”

Rolling her eyes, she replied with a sigh “I wasn’t feeling pretty, okay? I-”

“Mayko, you’re beautiful. Don’t be stupid.”

“Thank you,” she laughed. “I just wasn’t feeling good.” Shrugging and finishing her stirring, she added “I just made them a little perkier. I wasn’t looking to be some freak ass porn star with boobs that could suffocate me. I wanted to just feel a little better about myself.”

Thank God she didn’t want to be some freak ass porn star because great Jesus above, that was fucking unnatural. It was wrong on so many levels to have boobs the way some of them did. Why would someone find that appealing?

But then, there were those people who sexualized animals so maybe extra-large unnatural boobs wasn’t the absolute worse to have a fetish for.

Just ew.

“Why weren’t you feeling good?”

Shrugging again and making a face as she flitted back through her memories, his mother replied “Well, I just…sometimes when women give birth, they don’t feel so great. I wasn’t feeling so great after you were born. Your bashtá kept swearing that I was perfect but…sometimes words just don’t help.”

Joseph knew that feeling. Emilio could swear Joseph was his perfect, that he loved him, and that he was his everything but Joseph couldn’t help the constant doubts running in his mind. He wasn’t stupid; Joseph knew he was pretty much worthless. Somehow, Emilio didn’t see it but eventually he would.

Hopefully their relationship would survive that realization. He held out hope but Joseph wasn’t generally a hopeful person. It served him no purpose. Ever. There was no point.

Sighing and pushing his depressing thoughts that seemed to hit more frequently lately, Joseph asked “So did it help? Getting them done? Did you feel better?”

“Yeah, actually it did. I felt good again. Maybe if I had waited longer, I would have been fine but I didn’t want to wait. I visited lots of doctors to make sure I was getting the best. No way I was going to suffer from a bad boob job.”

Never had he questioned her boobs before and they looked entirely natural to him so obviously she had gotten the best. “What’d tatko think?”

Frowning, his mother snorted “He hated it.”

“Flat out hate?” Joseph asked in surprise. Harsh much?

Who was he kidding? His father was a harsh man.

“Wouldn’t talk to me for two months until finally one day he exploded and said ‘why the fuck did you have to mess with what was perfect?’ And I answered ‘because I wanted to.’ Typical Ivo eye flash then the next day we were good. Not gonna lie, sweetheart, I swear there are still days his eyes have that look of anger when he looks at ‘em.”

Probably. Grudges were a thing for that man. “Not his business. It’s your body.”

“I may have a feminist on my hands,” she laughed as she turned back to the stove. “So,” his mother said in a tone that Joseph knew meant something was coming.

“So.”

“Doctor is tomorrow.”

Unease unfurled in his stomach. “Mayko-”

“You’re going; that’s not up for debate.”

Frustration ate at him. “I don’t like people picking through my brain.” Especially because his brain was a very special type of brain. A brain that shouldn’t have people picking in it unless he wanted it to happen.

Turning off the stove and putting the wooden spoon in the sink, his mother turned to face him and corrected “It’s a doctor and it’s the same doctor you’ve always seen. Not some strange person. And she’s not ‘picking your brain,’ she’s making sure that you’re still doing okay.”

Sighing and pushing away his plate because even though he didn’t have much of an appetite anyways, he really didn’t have one now, Joseph muttered “I’m fine. I told you that.”

“Mmm, yeah, don’t believe you. You’ve been down a lot more lately; don’t think I haven’t noticed. The frequents between hitting a low are becoming more common and your appetite is worse than usual. Not to mention how terrible you look from the lack of sleep.”

Damn her and her powerful observation skills. “What if she wants to put me back on the pills?” God, he didn’t want that. He was enjoying being free of them. Yeah, they had been helpful in a lot of ways but he didn’t want to have to form that attachment all over again.

“Then you go back on them. You being okay is what’s important. Nothing else.”

 

 

“Okay, he looks good,” Joseph nodded as he examined his work with his odd partner beside him. “I think this might be it.”

Fingers crossed. He was beyond fucking exhausted.

“We’ve said that a billion times before,” Diana snorted as she plopped down onto the floor. Joseph found it interesting that she aged with him. She was short – Emilio’s height maybe – but other than that, she was growing with him. Diana hadn’t turned into a dragon since that first time they had met but Joseph felt like because she was growing, so would the beast.

She was probably terrifying in full dragon mode.

“Well, this time is hopefully different. I’m exhausted and I just can’t take this anymore.” If he had known that he had had a doctor’s appointment scheduled this week, Joseph wouldn’t have tried his experiments until after.

Because she put him back on his damn pills. The doctor had felt that with the help of his antidepressants, his moods would get better and he’d be able to sleep better. There was no way for him to tell her that the reason he wasn’t sleeping was because he was busy trying to be God.

What had worried him though, was when the doctor and his mother had stepped out to speak in private. About him. Technically, he didn’t know it was about him but he felt like that was a very appropriate hunch. When he asked his mother what it was about, she just shrugged and said they were just talking about the medication.

But he knew that wasn’t true.

“Alright,” Diana breathed in her own form of tiredness because she was getting tired of doing this again and again too. “Do it.” Really, she was probably just more frustrated by the constant failures than anything else.

“Do it,” Joseph murmured to himself as he closed his eyes and focused on the body he sat beside. Some sort of instinct told him to take its hand. It wasn’t something he had ever tried but why not? Maybe he needed to try different to be successful.

_Wake up._

Blinking his eyes open, Joseph was excited to see that he had actually woken up this time when he wanted to. _Nicely done, Joseph._

Glancing around, he realized he was on his floor. Weird but okay.

Then he noticed something else. Noticed what he was doing.

Still holding the body’s hand.

And the hand was warm.

_Warm._

Breathing in carefully and then out, Joseph turned his head and looked down at the body whose hand he was holding.

Its chest was moving.

_It was breathing._

“Holy shit,” he whispered into the night. Had he seriously done it?

What the fuck.

Maybe pills were key?

 _There’s a thought…_ He always said he needed to create some way to just wake up.

What if he needed other things too?

Like pills that helped him dream.

_Lightbulb, bitches._

For next time then. That process probably needed some perfecting and right now, Joseph had something else that needed to occupy his thoughts.

Something major.

Like the very alive body next to him.

Slipping his hand out of the person’s next to him, Joseph examined his work closely. It looked good, really. _He_ looked good. He was a human being now, so ‘it’ wasn’t appropriate.

Everything looked nicely in place. The last one he had done had looked great too but it hadn’t been able to breathe.

That was a significant difference.

Poking him, Joseph whispered “Hey. Is anyone there?” The eyelids flickered slightly but didn’t open, so Joseph tried again. “Hello.”

He had to give himself credit because he only flinched _a little_ when the thing’s eyes opened.

_Not thing._

_Him._

The boy blinked up at him and Joseph was suddenly worried it’d speak in the quiet of the night. Softly placing his hand on the boy’s mouth, Joseph whispered “You have to keep quiet. Whisper like me.” The boy kept blinking so Joseph added “Nod if you understand what I’m saying.”

He actually nodded.

What the fuck.

“Okay,” Joseph whispered while nodding. Hopefully the boy actually understood. Joseph removed his hand from the other boy’s mouth and waited for whatever was about to happen.

“Hi.”

“Umm, hi,” Joseph whispered back, a huge smile adorning his face. He _spoke._

_I made an actual functioning person._

_What. Thee. Almighty. Fuck._

Talk about playing God.

The boy, who Joseph had simply copied the looks for from a cartoon Andrey liked, smiled at Joseph then blinked at his surroundings. “Nice.”

“Thanks. I did the decorating myself.” Suddenly nervous and realizing what he’d done, Joseph was struck with a nasty reality.

What the hell was he supposed to do with him? No one could just explain a sudden appearance of a person that had no proof of ever existing.

Dammit.

“Okay,” Joseph mumbled to himself. “I can figure this out.”

“Figure out what?”

“How to get rid of you.” Now that he knew he could do it, Joseph just wanted to be rid of the boy. Rid of his entire existence. It was too suspicious for someone to just turn up out of nowhere. It wouldn’t make any sense. Plus, he didn’t need the weight of hiding and caring for someone on him. All that had mattered was whether Joseph could do it or not.

He could do it. Now he needed to get rid of it.

The realization of what he had to do made him sick.

Stomach churning, Joseph whispered to himself “I have to kill you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')  
> Стринка (strínka) – a father’s brother’s wife


	164. Chapter 163

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> The Snapshots are still going to happen, I swear. I'm just so busyyyy.  
> But they'll get done. And you guys are welcome to prompt some more even though I'm still doing the others. I'll put them down in the list.
> 
> I, personally, am not a tea drinker unless its like prepared Arizona iced tea. Coffee owns me bruhs
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> _“Stop being an asshole for five seconds, alright?"_

She listened as the sound of Joseph heaving in the bathroom came again. It had been happening all morning. What was wrong with her child, Vesela had no clue. She checked him over for fever, asked if he had stomach pains, even checked his vomit when he threw up the third time to see if there was anything suspicious about it.

Gross but she didn’t like to watch her baby suffer.

Sighing as she walked into his room with a can of Ginger Ale because she was willing to try anything now, Vesela joined him in his bathroom where he sat on the floor by the toilet. “Nothing came out?”

Looking pale and sickly, her son shook his head. “I don’t think I have anything left to come out.”

Handing him the Ginger Ale, she brushed his hair off his sweaty forehead with her fingers. “I doubt you do. Your sad bowl of cereal came out the first time.” She had tried convincing him to have a piece of toast because it’d help his stomach, but Joseph had said no.

At first, Vesela had thought that maybe being back on his medicine was messing with his system. But it couldn’t be this bad, could it? When he had started it when he was younger, it hadn’t affected him like this. So why it would be now didn’t make any sort of sense.

Clutching his stomach while sipping away through a straw, Joseph sat quietly and stared at the floor. He looked horribly upset about something but she had already tried asking what was bugging him. All she got was a ‘nothing.’

Although, she hadn’t expected much more. Joseph was never the sort to talk about his problems or what could be troubling him before and he was even worse about it now. “Joseph, what’s wrong?”

Blinking up at her, he shrugged “Just not feeling good.”

“This is something else than ‘just not feeling good.’ Something wrong? Trouble at school, maybe?” He hadn’t been to school all week but maybe it was a reoccurring problem? Bullies always seemed to enjoy picking on him, though she had no clue why when he was so perfect. “C’mon, talk to me.”

Shaking his head while still sipping, Joseph murmured “Really, mayko, it’s nothing. Just my stomach being weird.”

“You were fine yesterday.”

“That was yesterday,” he sighed. “Before-” Abruptly cutting himself, he just resorted to a shrug.

As if she was going to just let him stop when she knew she was onto something. “Before what?”

Grimacing, Joseph muttered “Nothing.” Setting down the can with a shaking hand, he sighed and rested his head on the arm that was on the toilet seat. “It’s nothing.”

“Baby, you can talk with me about anything. Anything at all. Doesn’t matter what it is.” There was something; Vesela could see it just sitting beneath the surface. It was almost like he was dying to tell but couldn’t quite bring himself to.

Swallowing hard, he looked hard into her eyes. It was like he was actually searching to see if he could. “Anything?”

“Anything at all,” Vesela swore. “I promise.”

Whether he would have said something, she’d never know because right when he opened his mouth…

Ivo walked in.

And something told her Joseph would never trust that he could tell his father anything at all.

The sad part was that she didn’t think he could either.

“How we feeling?” Ivo asked curiously, leaning on the doorframe for the bathroom. “Any better?”

Shutting his eyes and sighing, Joseph mumbled “No.”

“Well, I bought like five different kinds of tea. Maybe one will help settle your stomach.” Neither she or Ivo were tea drinkers so they literally had none in the kitchen.

Hence the shopping trip.

“Okay,” Joseph whispered without much hope. “We can try.”

From his tone of voice, Vesela knew that he felt it wouldn’t make a difference.

Whatever the problem was, she felt like she knew it was from one thing for sure.

Something psychological.

Not physical.

 

* * *

 

“Isn’t a mob boss supposed to go and be a mob boss,” Joseph murmured around the rim of his mug of tea. They had decided that trying plain old green first was their best course of action. Ivo didn’t know tea and neither did Vesela so he had asked an employee at the market if she knew the best for stomachs.

That his was mistake.

_“I’d love to help!” the girl replied with a huge smile. “I’m into all-natural stuff, you know? So I know it all!”_

_He didn’t know but whatever. All he wanted was tea for his kid who couldn’t seem to hold his stomach this morning. It was barely six when they heard the heaving from their room. “Thank you. Tea isn’t my expertise. Coffee’s my sin.”_

_The girl who was probably barely eighteen if that, giggled and Ivo knew he made a mistake in asking her. Running a hand through her hair as she brushed it to the other side of her head, she replied with a huge smile “Could be worse. That’s the best sort of sin, you know?”_

_This girl had no clue what his sins were nor did she need to know. She’d probably end up with nightmares. Or worse, she’d think he was some cool bad boy and she’d giggle ‘tell me more.’_

_He knew he should have just asked the stern looking old lady._

_“Definitely not the worst,” Ivo smiled even though his politeness was ready to just die. “So tea?”_

_“Oh! Yeah, of course!” The employee let out another giggle to his annoyance and even brushed through her hair again. Either she was blind to the ring on his finger or she just didn’t give a shit._

_For God’s sake, he was old enough to be her father._

_Gross._

_That thought was slightly sobering._

_Ivo was old. After all the hell that happened in his life, he didn’t think he’d make it this far. Admittedly, forty-one wasn’t even old but damn. The creaking knee had already happened in his life so he had that old part of him but hopefully wrinkles and just plain old oldness wouldn’t catch up anytime soon. Getting old did not sound exciting._

_Achy bones beyond an injured knee._

_Fun gets limited._

_There were wrinkles._

_Pills for God knew what._

_Less sex._

_If he was lucky, God would let him keep his amazing sex drive until at least like sixty-five. That was when you were officially a senior citizen in this country anyways._

_Maybe the only thing Ivo was looking forward to with age was watching Joseph grow. He felt like he was getting a handle on the whole ‘father’ thing. It was a little late in the game but better late than never. Ivo wanted to see Joseph become what he wanted in life. Find himself a beautiful girl who’d understand the mess that he was and love every inch of it._

_And, well, Ivo was actually looking forward to grandkids._

_How weird was that._

_He felt like he could be a good grandfather. Or he’d at least try his damn hardest. And really, he kind of wanted to try taking care of a baby again now that he was older and way more ready than he had been. Not that he was saying he wanted another kid because not in a million fucking years._

_But a grandkid would be great. That way Ivo would get this weird baby fix he needed and then give the baby back to its parents at the end of the day._

_Really, he just wanted to see Joseph have a wonderful life and be the father for his kid that Ivo never quite could be for him._

_Because Ivo felt as though Joseph would be a great one._

_His mind came back to tea and the overly sweet employee when she brushed her fingers on his arm to get his attention. “Still with me?”_

_“Sorry,” he smiled before turning his attention to the shelf before them. “Are this many flavors really necessary?” Who the hell drank apricot vanilla crème?_

_Laughing with a blush although Ivo had no idea why she was blushing, the girl replied “They’re good! Well, most of the time. Some are just nasty!” She grabbed a couple boxes off the shelf. “So for stomachs… Peppermint is great and definitely green. Ooh and ginger…” And she kept going._

_And kept talking when he took them and said thanks._

_Kept talking when she decided that he needed guidance to the register._

_Literally kept talking when she even walked him to the door._

Ivo was too afraid to go back to that market now. Or at least at that time. He really didn’t want to run into her again. His head wouldn’t be able to take it.

“Eh, I like days off. Who doesn’t?” He had told Yulian to take over for the day. Technically, there was no need because there wasn’t really a point to him staying home but he’d take his excuses where he could get them. “Tea’s good?”

“Kinda gross,” Joseph mumbled as he took another sip, staring down at his comforter. They were sitting in Joseph’s bed, the covers on their legs, and Peanut between them.

“Joseph, you okay?” Ivo asked in concern. He didn’t have symptoms of stomach flu or anything so Ivo didn’t understand what was wrong. He had been perfectly fine yesterday. Now he just seemed…depressed. Which, okay, wasn’t that odd but still.

This was odd in a different way.

“Fine, tatko. I’m fine.”

“Would you tell me if you weren’t?”

That got Joseph’s attention as he looked up from his blanket at Ivo’s face. Biting his lip, he whispered “No.”

Yeah, he didn’t think so. But he thought he’d ask anyways. Joseph always seemed to prefer dealing with his own problems or keeping it all bottled up. Ivo didn’t approve but, really, there wasn’t much he could say when he did exactly the same.

Sighing and shaking his head, Ivo decided he might as well try to see if he could get anything out. “Problems at school?”

“No,” Joseph shook his head before another sip of tea.

“You sure? I mean, you did just get suspended for fighting.” Vesela hadn’t been happy but Ivo had been beaming with pride knowing that his son would never stand for someone calling him a fag.

It was hilarious, actually. As if his kid, of all people, would be a fag.

His. The son of Ivo Kavinsky.

A fag.

As if.

The thought still made him snort in amusement from its ridiculousness.

Joseph Ivo Kavinsky. A faggot.

As fucking if.

Shrugging, Joseph replied “Laysen just talks a bunch. Nothing more. He’s just pissed he’s not pitcher. Even if I wasn’t a part of the team, his skills are shit. As if he’d actually be a decent pitcher.”

“Skills are shit, huh?” Ivo asked with a raised brow. Man, would Timotei kill him. The words just popped out of Joseph’s mouth like nothing nowadays. Maybe Ivo really should have kept his language to himself.

He’d remember that when the grandchildren came.

“Yeah,” Joseph nodded, not realizing why Ivo actually repeated the phrase. “He’s got zero finesse.”

It wasn’t even worth getting upset over the language. Joseph wasn’t feeling up to sticking soap in his mouth right now anyways. He’d probably just end up throwing up from it.

“So, is the tea helping?” Vesela asked as she walked in and sat on the edge of the bed. “Better?”

“Kinda,” Joseph answered quietly.

Ivo didn’t understand why he was so subdued. “Jesus, it’s like you’ve seen your first dead body or something.”

Joseph started to choke on his tea and quickly set the mug on his nightstand before he dashed to his bathroom and threw up. Ivo and Vesela shared a questioning glance before they both glanced to the bathroom as Joseph flushed the toilet and washed up.

Okay then.

“Uh…have you seen a dead body that I don’t know about? Hiding in the closet or something?” Ivo asked as Joseph came back and curled under the covers. When his brat pulled the blanket over his head, Ivo actually started to believe his own words despite how crazy it sounded. “Joseph?”

“Can you guys leave, please,” come a broken mumble from under the cover. “Please.”

Sharing another glance with his wife although this time they were both filed with concern, Ivo replied “Okay, I guess. Get some sleep. It’ll help.”

 

* * *

 

_“You have to kill me?” the boy asked him in concern. “Why?”_

_Panic was rising in him but Joseph knew giving in to it would be a horrible idea. “B-Because I don’t have a choice. This was such a stupid idea…I fucking knew it…” He was so stupid. So fucking stupid. What did he expect to do with a live person once he made one? Why hadn’t he thought of that?_

_And now he was stuck having to get rid of someone._

_Jesus fuck._

_“I’m so sorry,” Joseph whispered miserably. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”_

_The boy simply blinked at him. When he finally spoke, Joseph was shocked by the words. “It’s okay.”_

_“It’s okay?”_

_“Well, you said you have to and you sound sorry so I guess that’s just how it has to be.”_

_Joseph narrowed his eyes as he studied the boy in front of him in the dim light. When he had made him, Joseph had focused on the body. Making sure all the outsides and insides were correct and functioned properly had been his main goal._

_What he hadn’t focused on was personality. The boy’s mind._

_He hadn’t realized he had to work that out too. Joseph had simply figured that the mind would take shape with the boy’s brain. But it seemed that when making a person, Joseph had to mold that part of them too._

_Because this boy was…simple. His brain didn’t overly think and he just accepted whatever as okay._

_If he were ever to create an original person, Joseph would have to plan out all the bits of their mind and personality. But if he ever had the need to create a copy – a forgery – of someone, then things would be easier._

_All he’d have to do is remember the person and every inch of how they acted._

_He loved when he figured out dream stuff._

_But he had larger stuff on his brain right now._

_Like the incredibly alive boy still sitting and staring at him._

_“I can do this,” Joseph whispered to himself after shutting his eyes. This came with the territory of dreaming; he’d just have to do it._

_I can do this._

_Opening his eyes back up, Joseph knew he’d need something to do the job fast and quiet. The acid was incredibly fast acting but he sure as hell was not burning this kid alive._

_Pills. Pills could do the job._

_He’d need some kind of magical pill though. Something fast. The ibuprofen he had made years ago was still under his bed but that was a slow painful overdose. Joseph didn’t have time for that._

_Back to the dreaming board then._

_“I need you to stay super quiet, okay? I have to do something.” The boy nodded and Joseph actually believed that the kid would keep his mouth shut. Standing, he led the boy into the bathroom and shut the door._

_Rolling onto his bed without squashing Peanut, Joseph shut his eyes and slowed his breathing. So far, the forest had been working in his favor._

_Hopefully it still would._

And sadly, it had.

Joseph had gone in where there was, surprisingly, no Diana and found a packet of black pills at his feet. He had never known dreaming drugs was that easy but he sure as fuck didn’t complain. Not even under his breath. He had grabbed the pill packet and forced himself awake although it hadn’t been as easy as the first time when he dragged the boy with him. His mind had been getting tired and fuzzy, his forest getting spent.

Then he committed murder.

_“Here,” Joseph whispered, handing the boy a black oblong pill. Hopefully, it wouldn’t include like convulsions or something. Joseph didn’t want to have to handle seeing that. Filling a cup from his sink, he also handed the boy some water. Being that he had swallowed his pills for years, Joseph had actually mastered the art of taking them dry but he didn’t think the boy had that ability._

_“Thank you,” the boy smiled, accepting each one. Joseph made a mental note that if he ever dreamed another original, he’d make them a thousand times smarter and complex._

_They were sitting on the shower floor with the bottle of acid beside Joseph for when the boy died. “Lie down. It’ll be better.”_

_“Okay.”_

_Once the kid laid down, Joseph helped him rest on his elbows so his head was up to easily swallow the pill. After the pill was taken down with some water, the boy laid back down and closed his eyes with a smile. He couldn’t help but wonder if the horrible pit in his stomach wouldn’t hurt so much if the kid hated him for it instead of just accepting._

_How much time passed, Joseph wasn’t sure but it hadn’t felt too long until the breathing stopped. He waited an extra ten or fifteen minutes just in case before he rested his head on the boy’s chest._

_Not a beat. Not a breath._

_Not a sound._

_Excitement should have been shooting through him. Happiness that the kid was out of his hair. That he’d disappear the minute the acid was spilled on._

_But instead all he felt was complete loss and despair._

_It hurt like a bitch._

_Joseph literally just killed someone._

_Murdered._

_Raising his head and clenching his jaw tight in a sorry attempt to stop his brewing tears, Joseph grabbed the acid and popped it open. His hand faltered before he forced himself to just pour and get rid of the boy._

_Murderer._

Maybe the kid wasn’t real and maybe Joseph hadn’t brutally done something to him but it didn’t make a difference to him. He felt horrible and sick and just plain disgusting. Once the deed was done and the shower was cleaned up, Joseph stuffed the extra pills in his special box and curled under his covers.

Crying himself to sleep.

Until morning came and he spent the entirety of it throwing up. When his stomach had reached empty, he just dry heaved over the toilet instead.

Killed. Joseph had killed someone.

Murdered.

It was going to eat him alive for days if not the rest of his life. He’d never harm another person again if he could help it.

“Murderer,” he whispered to himself, still curled under his blanket where his parents had left him. That’s all he was now. And he’d carry it forever.

Murderer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')  
> Стринка (strínka) – a father’s brother’s wife


	165. Chapter 164

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> Fight numero dos  
> Enjoy ;)
> 
> _“I don’t believe in things that are too good to be true.”_

“Hiya,” Joseph smiled at Emilio once he opened the gate to his building. “Wattup, homeboy?”

Rolling his eyes at his mocking boyfriend who looked even worse than usual, Emilio replied “Eh.” He gestured him in as he stepped to the side, “Come in. Nice to see your handsome face.”

Concern began invading Joseph’s eyes as he caught the sadness tinting Emilio’s tone. “You okay? You don’t sound so great.”

He actually wasn’t okay. Depression had hit him this morning when the worst possible thing in this entire stupid world happened.

Emilio’s bracelet broke.

_Thee bracelet._

The bracelet that was the symbol of their friendship. The bracelet that they both hadn’t taken off except for swimming and showers for seven years.

Broken.

To this moment, he still had no clue how it even did or what it had caught on. Well, he had a feeling but denial that this morning had occurred was nice.

_Reaching down to get his Gameboy which had slipped between his bed and the wall, Emilio wished there was a way to make his arm suck in air to make it thinner or something. Talk about a tight space. “Uh…seriously…”_

_Stretching as far as his arm could go while he was practically squished against the wall, Emilio cringed when his hand scrapped against the metal of his bedframe. Was a Gameboy worth scrapes?_

_Probably._

_Then there was a weird tightness that he figured was just his hand being squished._

_At least, that’s what he thought it was until he felt the snap._

_“No, no, no…” Emilio groaned as he quickly pulled his hand out to check if what he thought happened had happened._

_It had happened._

_“Fuck,” Emilio whispered in distress when he realized his bracelet hadn’t come up with him. Language wasn’t his thing but Joseph let them loose so often now that Emilio couldn’t help it. It just ended up happening sometimes, especially at moments like this._

_Lucky for him, though, only his mother had caught him. Just once and she hadn’t been happy. She ended up giving him a lecture on how unnecessary language like that was and just because Mr. Kavinsky thought he was cool with his filthy mouth, it didn’t mean that it really was._

_“Please just have slipped off. Please,” Emilio murmured worriedly as he leaned back to the space between the wall and the bed. He couldn’t see crap so he stuck his hand down but didn’t feel anything either because he could barely brush the floor with his fingers._

_Letting out a groan of frustration, he jumped off his bed and yanked it away from the wall as far as he could. That ended up making stuff on his nightstand fall over but that was the least of his worries right now. Bouncing back onto the bed, he laid down and peered into the abyss._

_Maybe he was just a sentimental idiot but he genuinely felt like crying right now as he stared down at the scatters of his bracelet._

_Fuck._

“I have horrible horrible news, broseph,” Emilio muttered miserably as they worked their way up these horrible stairs. He knew his dad had been spending the last few weeks looking at other apartments and that he actually had his eye on one. Moving was exhausting but at least if they did move, it wouldn’t be across state lines. Moving to a different neighborhood but in the same city had to be a walk in the park compared to be before.

Sounding worried, Joseph asked “What? Not too horrible, right?”

With a sigh as he opened their apartment door, Emilio mumbled “Not life changing drastic, no, but still terrible.” Once they both walked in and Emilio shut the door, he showed his boyfriend his wrist. “It broke,” Emilio said miserably.

Grasping Emilio’s bare wrist with his own hand that was adorned with the symbol of them, Joseph bit his lip and questioned “How?” He kept rubbing the bare space as if that helped him really understand the fact that it was ruined.

“I think it got caught on my bed frame. I was trying to reach my game this morning then ‘snap.’” God, did this suck. That’s it, his day was ruined entirely. Even at school, he had been miserable.

“Shit,” Joseph muttered, his eyes narrowed in thought. “Can we fix it maybe?”

“No,” Emilio sighed. “I can’t find all the beads and the elastic is ruined. It won’t be the same anyways.”

Grating his lip between his teeth as he let go of Emilio’s wrist, Joseph moved closer and slipped his hands around Emilio’s waist. “Then,” he breathed, leaving no space between their mouths, “I’ll wear it for both of us. It’s even more special now than it was because it represents us together.” Pressing a kiss to Emilio’s mouth, he whispered “Us.”

His arms had already found themselves looping around his boyfriend’s neck and he used that leverage to pull Joseph’s mouth back to his, tasting the amazing deliciousness of him.

Emilio completely forgot. But then, when Joseph Kavinsky’s tongue was practically down his throat, no one could blame his forgetfulness. Those kisses had magical powers besides for making him horny.

When he remembered, it was too late.

“Oh my God…”

In whatever unit was smaller than milliseconds, they separated, Joseph looking like he was on the verge of a panic attack. Emilio didn’t think that was warranted because it was only Alicia but he knew Joseph didn’t want anyone at all knowing. Didn’t matter who it was.

Clearing his throat and turning to look at his sister who happened to have once dated his boyfriend, Emilio smiled “Can we help you?”

Having a huge smile on her face, she leaned against the hallway opening as she crossed her arms. “Oh, I knew you’ve been too freaking happy this past year. I knew it! I just couldn’t figure out what in the world it was.”

“You knew nothing,” he snorted with an eyeroll.

“So? How long?”

“Not your business,” Joseph cut in with a ferocity that Emilio didn’t expect. He actually turned and looked at his boyfriend in surprise from his tone of voice. “You can’t tell anyone.”

Alicia looked just as shocked as Emilio felt from Joseph’s tone. “You don’t have to be so mean about it. What the hell, Joseph?”

Joseph’s mind was only focused on one thing though. “No one, Alicia. At all.”

“Okay, first of all, you seriously need to relax. It’s not a big de-”

“It’s a huge fucking deal,” Joseph interrupted. “Swear you won’t tell anyone.”

Now Alicia was starting to look annoyed. “Stop being an asshole for five seconds, alright? Because if you would take that time, you’d hear me say ‘okay, don’t worry about it.’ Being a complete jerk doesn’t suit you.”

“On the contrary, I think it does.”

“Oh-kay,” Emilio cut in because this was stupid. Grabbing Joseph’s arm, he pulled him closer and dragged him behind him on the way to his room, squeezing past Alicia in the hallway. “She’s not going to tell, relax.”

Her voice came after them once Emilio shut his door. “I won’t. God, ass.”

Dropping down on abuela’s bed which was his usual spot, Joseph threw his arm atop his eyes and huffed after he lay down. Emilio went and sat beside his boyfriend. “Joseph.”

“Hmm.”

“Next time you act like a jerk to my sister, I promise I’ll punch you. You don’t talk to her or any of them like that. No exceptions.”

Emilio watched as Joseph grinded his jaw before he finally said “Okay. Sorry.”

“You say sorry to her, not me.” It didn’t matter how much he loved Joseph, nobody was allowed to be rude to his sisters. He was the only brother between them; it was his job to make sure everyone respected them the way they deserved.

Sighing and removing his arm, he blinked up at Emilio. “Noted. I will before I leave.”

“Thank you,” Emilio nodded as he laid down beside Joseph. “I don’t appreciate the way you were talking to her. That wasn’t okay.”

“Sorry,” Joseph mumbled, all of his previous anger depleted as he cuddled into Emilio’s side like only a couple days before. “I’ve had a bad few days. I shouldn’t have taken it out on her.”

Pulling his arm out from under Joseph, then wrapping it around his boyfriend so he could pull him closer, Emilio rested their heads together and asked “What’s up?”

It was the heaviest sigh Emilio had ever heard in his life. Like literally, it was probably how Obama sounded when he was exhausted from running the country. “Nothing.”

“You can’t tell me you had a bad week and expect me to let it go. Especially me of all people.” What had happened these past few days? Granted, it had been a pretty long week for Joseph. He was constantly exhausted, he had been suspended for fighting, they had gotten into a fight, and there was that doctor’s appointment too. Emilio knew that Joseph wasn’t happy about being on his antidepressants again but Emilio felt like it was a good thing. It’d help his boyfriend out a bit.

God knew that Joseph needed it.

Worry had been filing his brain as of late because of Joseph. There was something wrong besides anxiety issues and the occasional bought of depression. He didn’t know what because mental health wasn’t his expertise but Emilio just knew something wasn’t okay. There had been the brief temptation to describe the weird stuff Emilio had noticed to his mom without mentioning Joseph by name but he just knew that she’d figure who it was about.

So maybe the pills were a good thing. Maybe they’d help Joseph out. Emilio thought some counseling would also be great but Joseph hadn’t mentioned that the doctor had ordered any. “Hey, Joseph?”

“Yes, pookie.” Squawking when Emilio shoved him, Joseph laughed “Okay, okay, what’s up?”

“Did you ever try counseling?”

Sitting up and staring down at Emilio with confused eyes, Joseph asked “The fuck do I need with counseling?”

So this was going to be a fight too then. How much fighting was healthy for a relationship before it was too much? “I think that maybe you should get some. To help, you know?”

Anger which was becoming far too frequent flashed all over his face. “No, I don’t fucking know. Please, Dr. Emilio, elaborate why the fuck I need counseling. Something wrong with me?”

Letting out a sigh as he sat up, Emilio answered “No, stupid. I just think that it’d help. Like along with your pills. Maybe talking with someone is what you need.”

Shaking his head and letting out a dry laugh as he glanced around the room in disbelief, Joseph snorted once his gaze returned to Emilio “I don’t need the pills in the first place. The doctor is just a fucking bitch-”

“Stop,” Emilio cut in. Joseph’s attitude had been getting worse the past few months. He was just constantly angry about something or for all Emilio knew, everything. “The doctor knows what the hell she’s doing although I really think adding therapy is a good idea-”

“Fuck you!” Joseph shouted as he stood off the bed. “Seriously? Are you fucking listening to yourself?”

Now that wasn’t going to fly with Emilio. Whatever was making Joseph’s mood worse today was no reason that he was allowed to be disrespectful. Standing himself, Emilio said in a firm voice “Joseph, whether you want to hear it or not, you need help. You ne-”

“I don’t need fucking shit!”

Emilio wasn’t going to lose his cool. His mom knew how to make people feel miniscule the way she never wavered. His father rarely grew angry but when he did, his temper was a nasty controlled thing. From both of them, Emilio had learned how to keep his temper at bay and yet still be able to express how he felt.

Obviously, Joseph had never gotten that lesson.

“You,” Emilio began by stabbing Joseph in the chest with his finger, “Need to calm the hell down. That’s number one. I will not talk to you like this. You do not get to speak to me like this. I don’t know what shit you see when your father talks to your mom but I’m not her. I don’t stand for it.”

Mentioning Joseph’s parents, Emilio knew, was a dangerous thing. Joseph would fight for his dad even if the mobster didn’t deserve it.

But it wasn’t like Emilio was wrong. He knew how abusive people spoke; he was far from stupid.

And it worried him that Joseph seemed to resort to it when he was angry or frustrated.

“You gonna do that every time?” Joseph hissed, his fists clenched by his sides. “If I do or say something, suddenly I’m my father? I’m ‘abusive’?”

“The fact that you just put that in finger quotes is hilarious,” Emilio said in contempt. “Abuse isn’t a joke. You’re angry because you didn’t like what I said, then we talk about it like goddamn human beings. You don’t get to be a piece of shit.”

“So it’s okay that you’re acting like a piece of shit? Are you allowed to and I’m not? Is that it?”

Those words stung. “How am I being a piece of shit, exactly? What makes you say that? Because I give a fuck? Because I actually care about you and am concerned for you? Does that make me a horrible person, Joseph?”

Rolling his eyes, Joseph laughed sarcastically “If you gave a fuck, you wouldn’t say there was something wrong with me when there isn’t.”

At least he wasn’t yelling anymore. “Problem is that you don’t know. And counseling is for anyone and everyone who needs it. There is nothing wrong with it. Hell, if I just needed to talk about something, I’d go to a counselor too.”

“Whatever. We’re not talking about this anymore,” Joseph hissed in annoyance. “We’re done with this bullshit. Actually,” he paused as he walked past Emilio to the door, “I think we’re just done for the day. Obviously, talking to you isn’t the best idea right now.” Yanking the door open and obviously not caring that Alicia knew now because he didn’t care if the world heard him, he added “Because if you actually gave a shit about me, you wouldn’t be trying to force this conversation. But you don’t so here we are.”

Emilio actually did have a bullshit level.

And he’d just about reached his right now.

“Don’t you dare think,” Emilio called after him as he followed his pain in the ass boyfriend to the door. “That I can just be manipulated by your stupid ass words. I’m not a fucking idiot in front of you. I may be shorter and not as academically smart but don’t you think for a fucking minute that I am any less than you. That I can just be twisted by your words.”

Joseph just rolled his eyes again as he opened the door and slammed it shut behind himself.

But Emilio wasn’t done.

Opening the door with an extreme amount of force because his anger needed to go somewhere, he yelled after him “I’ll wait for your apology!”

 

  

* * *

 

Seething as he walked down Emilio’s street to get home, Joseph kept replaying the whole incident in his head.

Alicia saw.

Emilio’s angry.

Joseph was an asshole.

But wasn’t Emilio being an ass too?

Wasn’t he allowed to be an ass just as much as Joseph though? That was only fair.

To say the least, Joseph was having a very large amount of conflicted thoughts. The rational thoughts kept getting overrun by the angry ones and he just couldn’t think clearly.

All he had wanted after the horrible morning he had had with loads of throw up and nasty tea was to relax with his boyfriend. That was it.

Relaxing had not occurred.

What if he was being the overreactive one though? It was possible. _What if I am acting just like him?_

The last thing he wanted was to be like his father. There were things that Joseph would love to be like his father in – his intelligence, his generosity, his unending amount of annoying charm. But then there were the things Joseph hated about his father.

Mainly how well he knew how to hurt. To manipulate and play people to his advantage. How easily his father could stick a knife in someone’s heart – metaphorically speaking – and just keep twisting because he found it amusing.

It scared Joseph that he was good at it. He didn’t want to be that way.

And yet, he just might be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')  
> Стринка (strínka) – a father’s brother’s wife


	166. Chapter 165

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> If I keep up in my writing...this story should be done before December hits. Let's see how well I do.  
> From there, we move to Henrietta in Nightmare in Henrietta which is the sequel of this story which will also be The Dream Thieves in Joseph's pov. Three year time span about. In TDT they're juniors if I remember right.
> 
> Enjoy and I'll see y'all Tuesday
> 
> _“You were being a huge piece of shit."_

Once she heard the front door slam shut, Alicia slid off her bottom bunk, opened her door, and walked out of her room. Leaning on the wall beside it, she waited for Emilio to pick up his head as he trudged to his own room. When he did, he sighed and muttered “Out with it.”

“That wasn’t okay.”

“I already told him to apologize to you and he was going to except…” he gestured towards the door, “Stuff happened.” Emilio gave a short dry laugh and added “Obviously.”

Stuff happened was such an understatement. They were lucky that both their parents were working, Linda was doing a project at the library, and Maria had taken Alondra out. “I’m not talking about me. I’m talking about him yelling at you.”

Really, she hadn’t been totally surprised by catching them kissing. Emilio and Joseph had always been close but she had felt that they were a little extra lately. Plus, she obviously knew her brother’s tastes. Joseph being whatever he was was probably the most surprising thing. He didn’t seem the kind of guy to go for guys but that just made her seem like a stereotyping idiot.

So her ex liked guys and was dating her brother. Who cared?

Well, technically Alicia really _did_ care. But not for the reasons one might think.

It was because she knew Joseph that she cared.

After they had broken up, Alicia took the time to focus on herself and also where they might have gone wrong in their relationship. She came to the very easy conclusion that while she had loved him, he hadn’t her. And that was probably true. However, she didn’t care. They had had good months together.

With all this analyzation, she focused on the way they acted together. From that she had come to notice something about her then boyfriend.

He was a manipulative bastard.

She hadn’t realized it in their relationship because, well, she thought she loved him. It hadn’t mattered. But in all the hindsight, she could easily see the times when he played her so well. Adding an extra bright smile or laughing in a certain way. Hell, even just using a certain tone of voice and he knew he had her. There were times where she’d end up feeling guilty about something even though he’d say ‘don’t worry about it’ or ‘you don’t have to.’ Words were power and he was a damn god with them.

Joseph knew exactly how to twist and turn words.

Alicia had just been too stupid to see it at the time.

Joseph was a great guy, she wasn’t saying he wasn’t. He could be sweet and caring and lots of good things. A fantastic friend too.

But she just didn’t like him with her brother.

Not because he was her ex and not because she hadn’t thought that he was into guys.

Simply because she thought Emilio deserved better than what Joseph was. What Joseph could be.

“Oh,” Emilio nodded. “Yeah, that wasn’t okay. I told him as much.”

At least he was smarter than she was. Joseph had yelled at her only once but it had terrified her like nothing else. She definitely hadn’t been able to tell him that it wasn’t alright. He had apologized afterwards and, of course, she forgave him.

Because he was a manipulative guy who knew very well how to use his words. He had her at the sweet kiss even before the apology.

“Emilio… Look. I know you’ve crushed on him forever and you’re probably thinking that everything is worth it because you’ve always wanted him-”

“I really don’t think I’m up for a lecture right now, Alicia,” Emilio cut in with a sigh as he too leaned on the wall beside his own room. “I’m really not.”

“I’m not gonna lecture you,” she clarified. “All I want to say is just…he’s…” Man, this was harder than she thought. “He’s kind of…”

“Manipulative? Bordering on the line of possibly abusive? Yeah, I’m aware.”

Maybe he wasn’t smart at all. At least she hadn’t known Joseph wasn’t exactly boyfriend material beyond the physical when she had been with him. “And you’re okay with that?”

Her brother looked incredibly conflicted. “He’s just… having a rough week. We’ll be alright.”

“That didn’t answer my question.”

Huffing, Emilio crossed his arms and replied “Not exactly, no, but I’m not going to let myself get manipulated. There’s a damn line and I’m sure as hell not letting him cross it. He just needs some more practice in the relationship department is all.” He shrugged as if it was no big deal at all. “Joseph will get used to it. He’s gotta learn.”

 

  

* * *

 

“Need a ride?” Yulian called out of his open window.

Joseph’s head flicked up in surprise from where he had been staring at the floor. He was sitting on a bench on the sidewalk, seemingly lost in his head. Odd, to say the least. “Uh…yeah, sure.” He must have been sitting for a while because he looked stiff as he stood. “Thanks.”

“No problem,” Yulian replied as he unlocked the car for Joseph to get in. “Getting some fresh air?”

“Something like that.”

Yulian hadn’t seen Joseph this past week but he heard about the fight and the doctor.

What he hadn’t heard was how much like shit his nephew looked.

“Feeling better?” he asked as he pulled away from the sidewalk back onto the road. Ivo had, luckily, come back to work in the afternoon so Yulian didn’t have to suffer too much. He had been planning on stopping home for some food because it seemed like work would be keeping them late tonight.

“Huh?” Joseph mumbled in confusion as he leaned his head on the window.

“You were sick? Are sick?” To Yulian, Joseph just seemed incredibly tired.

“Oh, yeah, that. Sure, yeah, I’m fine. Won’t throw up in your car or anything.”

For someone who had spent the morning throwing up, he sure didn’t seem to remember much. Maybe he hadn’t really been sick? Yulian didn’t think they were lying about the vomiting but maybe there was more to it than just stomach issues. “Good to know. Spilled water and vomit are a pain to clean in a car.”

“True,” Joseph murmured, trying for a smile but horribly failing.

“You eat?” Maybe he’d take him to lunch and he could get something out of him. It was literally visible how much Joseph was carrying inside of him. Something was eating at him; maybe lots of things. “I haven’t had lunch so we can get a late one together if you want.”

Sighing and shifting a bit in his seat, Joseph replied “I guess I could eat.” Gnawing on his lip, he said in a slightly stronger voice “Somewhere with milkshakes. I think I want one.”

“Sure. Milkshakes actually sound really good right now after a morning meeting with Koreans that stretched into the fucking afternoon.”

“Are they worse than the Russians?”

“No one is worse than the Russians,” Yulian laughed. “No matter what, those assholes just know how to ruin your day. And once your day is shot, then it’s as good as fucked.”

“Ain’t that the truth,” Joseph snorted in, to Yulian’s surprise, anger. So it was more than just having a morning bent over the toilet.

“Want to talk about it?” He had been planning on asking over food but they could start now. Yulian would just go to a farther away place so they had more time in the car. “This thing that fucked your day?”

Turning his head to look at Yulian, Joseph laughed “Who said my day is fucked?”

The laugh was fake, a cover up. Yulian spent his daily life reading people and their body language to see who was a liar or not fully truthful. The language wasn’t appreciated but he wasn’t going to waste the time to correct it. “I can tell. I have some very good senses, Joseph. You’re pissed about something. But you’re also upset. So let’s talk about it. What’s wrong?”

A shadow crossed his nephew’s face before he turned to look back out the window. “Nothing.”

“Joseph, you can tell me about anything. I promise.” Emilio was probably privileged more than anyone in knowing what was going through Joseph’s mind but Yulian didn’t think his nephew really gave much up. If Timotei had still been alive, maybe things would be easier for Joseph.

But he wasn’t.

So here they were.

When Joseph didn’t speak, Yulian glanced to him as they waited at a red light. Sometimes there wasn’t a car on the street; other times, traffic was such a piece of shit. “Joseph. Whatever it is, I swear you have me to listen. Doesn’t matter what it is.”

“Anything?” Joseph whispered, still staring out at the street. “I actually wish I could believe that.”

Yulian blinked in surprise at his nephew. Why couldn’t he believe it? “You can. You can tell me anything. It’s private and personal between us. Joseph, if something isn’t okay, if something is going on at school or at home, you can tell me. I promise you that.”

But Joseph just shook his head against the window. “I don’t believe in things that are too good to be true.”

Fourteen – practically fifteen – was way too young to be cynical. At that age, the only thing Yulian was worried about was if he’d get to sleep with his girlfriend of the time. And making sure he didn’t fuck up in school. “Joseph-”

“If you’re just going to keep asking me, forget the lunch. I don’t want it and you don’t even have to drop me home, I’ll finish my walk.”

Yulian had years of experience dealing with Ivo. He could deal with a mini me. “You were lost in your head, sitting on a bench on the street. Doesn’t sound like a walk to me.”

“If you want to get technical about it, no, it doesn’t.” Huffing, Joseph murmured “If I talk in hypotheticals, will you give me your thoughts without trying to get any sort of truth or extras that I don’t want to give up?”

That didn’t sound too bad. If he thought about all the details smart enough, Yulian felt like he might be able to figure out stuff that Joseph didn’t want to offer. “Deal.”

Examining Yulian closely, Joseph finally nodded. “Okay. Let’s say…let’s say you were in a relationship, right?”

“Okay,” he nodded as he drove. He didn’t remember anyone mentioning that Joseph was in another relationship but maybe he had missed it?

Or no one knew.

Interesting.

“And let’s say that the two people in this relationship really love each other but they got into a fight and one of them is now questioning everything.”

Joseph was questioning maybe? “Go on.”

“Not questioning how much they love each other but…that maybe the one who’s questioning isn’t a good person. Maybe this person…” Joseph paused as he bit his lip, once more staring out at the street, lost in his thoughts. “Maybe this person might be…might be everything they don’t want to be.”

“What is it this person doesn’t want to be?” If they were going with the theory that Joseph was the questioner…

Maybe he was afraid he was too much like Ivo.

Silence fell upon them as Joseph considered what he was going to say. They had reached the restaurant but Yulian parked them away from the door and turned off the car, making no show that he was getting out. They’d finish this here.

“Maybe this person is afraid… afraid that they’re… abusive. Manipulative. Noticed that they always twist words for their benefit or to make someone do what they want even without explicitly saying it. Stuff…stuff like that.”

“Well,” Yulian started. “I personally am a believer that people can change. I’ve seen it done, so I know it’s true. Now, if this person is already able to recognize that they may have a problem, then that’s a very promising sign.”

“Yeah?” Joseph asked in hope, actually turning to look at Yulian now. “Really?”

So he was the questioning one. “Yeah. Because admitting you have a problem is having half of it already solved. A lot of people refuse to admit or don’t recognize that they have a problem which is what stops the process of being better.”

Unbuckling and turning a bit in his seat to better face his nephew, Yulian decided personal would be helpful. “For example. I was an alcoholic from let’s say eighteenish to early twenties. During that time, I sure as hell didn’t think so. To me, I was having fun, relaxing. My mother never said it to my face but my father did many times and I’d just ignore. Refuse to admit that maybe I had a problem unlike this very smart person in our hypothetical situation.”

Biting his lip and looking like he was deep in thought, Joseph murmured “But you don’t drink like an alcoholic? So you had to have realized at some point you had a problem.”

“Oh, yeah, I did. After I killed a man because I was too drunk to drive. I had a very rude awakening. I didn’t touch alcohol for a few years after that, though it was incredibly hard in the beginning. I even spent a year going to AA meetings because of my problem which I refused to recognize that caused someone else to lose their life. When I started to drink again, I was careful. Surprisingly, the one who’d look out for me before me and your tétka got together was your father.”

“Really?” Joseph asked in surprise, his eyes sparkling in curiosity. “Why?”

_“The fuck are you doing?” came Ivo’s angry voice from beside him, where he walked into the apartment. His accent was still heavy as hell but at least his sentences came out right now. The language gap between them had driven them both insane when they had to speak to one another so they had worked on bridging it._

_“What am I doing?” Yulian replied in a bored tone. He learned how to just tone out everything that came from Ivo’s mouth. It was a skill that he was quite proud of because no one else had learned how to. Even Timotei._

_All he was doing was sitting on the floor of his way nicer than Ivo’s apartment, sipping his second beer while watching tv. It wasn’t ideal but he’d had a long day. Ivo was supposed to deliver him a couple files that he was supposed to read through and do some calculations and shit._

_Yulian could easily do that even if he had had a six pack._

_So he didn’t understand why two was such an issue._

_Ivo kicked an empty bottle in disgust and yanked the second out of Yulian’s hand, walking back to the kitchen and dumping it down the sink. Opening the fridge, he took out the last of the pack and also poured those down the drain before throwing them in the trash._

_“The fuck, Ivo?”_

_Tossing the files at him in annoyance, Ivo hissed “How fucking stupid are you?”_

_“I’m not the one who just wasted perfectly good beer,” he muttered as he opened up one of the files to see what he was spending his night on. He learned the easiest way to deal with an annoyed or angry Ivo was to just act like he wasn’t._

_Usually mellowed out the idiot when no one would confront him._

_“You’ve spent the last three and a half years being careful and lately all you want to do is go down your same path? Waste the progress you made?”_

_Blinking at Ivo in surprise, Yulian was speechless. He hadn’t realized Ivo cared or paid any attention to how long he’s been watching his alcohol. “Why do you care?” he asked once his thoughts turned back on._

_Rolling his eyes and crossing his arms, Ivo snorted “I’ve already lost one person to alcohol and while I hate your guts, I don’t need to lose another.”_

“He lost a friend when they were fifteen. Didn’t want to lose another apparently.” They always reminded each other how often they hated one another but if Yulian was completely honest, they probably only did that first year. They didn’t get along typically but he felt hate was a strong word. _Wonder if Ivo thinks that too…_

“But the point here is that once you know there is a problem, you aim to fix it. Your hypothetical person knows there’s a problem or at least feels it. Now that he knows it’s there, he can fix it or try his best too. And if he needs help, then he asks.”

Joseph frowned and said quietly “He?”

 _I should’ve said they._ “He, she, they. Whatever. Doesn’t matter.”

Nodding for a minute, his nephew finally asked “AA is like counseling isn’t it?”

“In a way, yes. You talk, people listen. Very helpful.”

“What if…” Joseph trailed off. “What if this person doesn’t think that they need counseling?”

“Counseling is for everyone, Joseph. Even for people who just want to talk about their day.”

“That’s what… that’s what the other person in the relationship said,” Joseph sighed, looking defeated.

“Is counseling what these two people were fighting about?” Joseph was in a relationship and whoever the girl was thought that Joseph wasn’t a good boyfriend? Possibility maybe.

“Yeah, I-” Joseph paled for a second before quickly correcting, “The person didn’t appreciate being told that something was wrong with them when they know there isn’t.”

Whoever he was in a relationship with, Yulian wanted to meet them. He had been suspecting for years something was wrong with Joseph and no one would listen or believe. Well, Nikol wouldn’t listen and believe. He’d never say it to Vesela and especially not Ivo. They would just write him off and Ivo maybe threaten to kill him.

Whoever this person was, was also seeing what Yulian has been. “All I can say is that there is never anything wrong with checking. Because knowing is better than denying. Counseling can be a great thing. This person already knows they have a problem, now they just need to work on it. It can be done, they can be a better person. They just have to want it bad enough.”

Looking down at his hands in his lap, Joseph whispered “I want it bad enough.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')  
> Стринка (strínka) – a father’s brother’s wife


	167. Chapter 166

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> I'm excited for the end but then I'm like 'whhhyyyyyy' Is it truly almost over? Yes, yes it is. This is the last chpt for the second to last arc.  
> Then we enter hell! Yay! This chpt is I think the last happy one? There might be a couple nice moments in the coming chpts if I remember right but only in like the first two chpts of the arc.
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> _"Just let me be a mama’s boy in peace, please.”_

They hadn’t brought up anything important after their conversation in the car. Once they had finished lunch – milkshakes included – Yulian had dropped Joseph home and then went to his own. There was no need because he had eaten but he had questions.

Which was what brought him to Andrey’s room.

Coming out of the bathroom and walking back into his room, Andrey looked at him in surprise. “Hi.”

“Hello,” Yulian yawned as he patted the spot on the bed beside him. “Sit.”

Looking nervous because his kid probably thought he was in trouble for something, Andrey sat down beside him with a nervous smile. Yulian couldn’t believe his son was looking more man than kid nowadays. Yulian was officially old.

Damn.

“What’s up? Didn’t know you were home.”

“Quick stop,” Yulian replied while picking a lint off his slacks. Personally, he liked jeans better but meetings always required better dress. A shame really, but he understood. “Some questions, actually.”

“I’m sorry for the chip in the tile in the kitchen. The cup slipped from my hand and-”

“Stop, stop,” Yulian cut in, shaking his head. He hadn’t even noticed whatever this chip was. Nikol probably didn’t either. “I don’t even know what you’re talking about.”

Seemingly relieved, his son replied “Oh, then Anka did it.”

Laughing, Yulian snorted in amusement “We’ll deal with that later. Not what I’m here for.”

Curiosity lit his son’s eyes. “What are you here for?”

“Joseph.”

Wariness took over Andrey’s demeanor and if that wasn’t a clue than nothing ever would be. “About?”

“You know if he’s with anyone? New girlfriend?”

Shrugging nonchalantly and wariness quickly erased, Andrey replied easily “No. We were just talking about it the other day. He’s not really looking. Said he’d wait ‘til high school.”

Andrey was always a talented liar where sometimes Yulian couldn’t even tell if he was lying or not.

Like right now.

“I see,” Yulian murmured as he thought. He knew for a fact that Joseph had been talking about himself in their hypothetical situation. But if he wasn’t in a relationship, then he couldn’t be.

But he had to be. It was the only thing that made sense.

“Why?”

“Just curious,” he replied with his own shrug. “You sure?”

“Positive,” Andrey said with a raised brow, his eyes and face clear. “He’d tell me if he was and he’s not.”

Eyes roving all over his son’s face, Yulian couldn’t figure out the truth. Did he have it or was he being fed a lie? But what reason would Joseph have to hide a relationship? There wasn’t one; Ivo and Vesela weren’t against him having a girlfriend. Hell, he’d been with Alicia when he was only twelve.

Unless…

 

  

* * *

 

Joseph ended up pacing his room for the past hour since his uncle dropped him off. The conversation in the car had been helpful even though Joseph had let out more than he should have. But he felt like his uncle would hold those words safe.

Peanut had been watching him as she cleaned herself on his bed, eyes following his movements. Throwing himself face down on the bed beside her, Joseph groaned into the mattress. Why did relationships have to be so fucking hard?

He owed Emilio an apology, he knew that. There was Alicia’s too because he had been too angry to remember it.

“Counseling is for everyone, Joseph,” he mumbled into his blanket as Peanut climbed onto him and curled up on his back. “Everyone.”

He didn’t want counseling; he hated his pills as it was. But what if it really was something he needed?

Sighing as he gently pushed Peanut off so he could sit up, Joseph considered his situation. It was complicated and hard that he didn’t really have anyone he could get advice from. The only one who knew about him and Emilio was Andrey but Joseph didn’t think he’d be able to give good advice when he hadn’t even been in a relationship before. There was also Mr. Vidal but Emilio would go to his father for advice most likely so Joseph couldn’t use that resource.

Tetíncho Yulian’s words had helped but… “Life is so complicated,” he groaned as he fell back onto his bed, covering his face with his hands.

If there was one thing he wanted, it was to be better at relationships than his father. What was something his father didn’t do?

Apologize.

“Okay, okay,” Joseph mumbled under his hands to Peanut who was massaging his chest. “I’ll go apologize. Because that’s what a good person does.”

And Joseph wanted to be a good person.

What went well with apologies? Flowers but those seemed too cheesy…Chocolate maybe? Or…

“Oh!” Joseph sat in up in excitement, getting a meow of annoyance from Peanut. “Chocolate flower! You’re such a fucking genius, Joseph Kavinsky.”

Bouncing off his bed, he grabbed his wallet from his drawer – making sure he actually had some money in it – and then grabbed a sweater because the weather was still cold as fuck this time of year. Yanking his baseball cap off the edge of his mirror before slipping it on his head and he was out his door, flying down the stairs.

“Stop!” his mother called bringing him to an abrupt halt. He hadn’t even noticed her sitting on the couch. Smiling at him, she asked “And where does my beautiful child think he’s going?”

“Out,” he said quickly. “I’ll be fast. I forgot something at Emilio’s.”

“Uhuh,” she mused while nodding. “Can you tell me what that clock says over there?”

Huffing because he was aware it was a little late for a walk, Joseph mumbled after glancing towards the huge clock on the wall “5:10.”

Ten minutes over his curfew.

Not letting that stop him, Joseph said in a stronger voice “But mayko, I swear, Ima be super fast. It’s important.” Really important. His relationship sort of depended on him making things right.

Looking like she was considering this, his mother finally replied “It can wait. It’s too late for a walk. If you really need whatever it is, call your bashtá and he’ll stop and pick it up from their house.”

Yeah, that wasn’t going to work. “Mayko, please?” Typically, he was allowed to walk wherever he wanted provided it was before five. After that, only errands for his parents to places close by were allowed unless one of them were with him. The rules were for his safety which he really understood but right now his safety was the least of his concerns.

His upset boyfriend was where his brain was.

Sighing as she got up off the couch, she grabbed her phone from the coffee table and walked over to him, holding it out. “Take this with you. The minute you get to Emilio’s, you call home. The minute you leave, you call home and we are going to talk about whatever until you make it home. If I call? You better damn well answer or else you’re so grounded. Deal?”

Relief rushed through him. “Yes, thank you, thank you.” Taking the phone from her, he kissed her cheek and said “I’ll take my board. Even faster that way.”

“Don’t get hit by a car,” she muttered grudgingly as he dashed back up the stairs to his room to grab his skateboard. It was one of his Christmas gifts last year that his father had picked out.

His mother hated it.

She thought him using his bike was better because to her, skateboards were just plain dangerous. His father had argued that either one can be dangerous but she couldn’t seriously stop him from riding one. That’d just be ridiculous.

Grabbing his board from his closet, he ran back down the stairs and out the door after calling to his mother “Thank you!”

Dropping his board on the floor once he was down the front stairs and had made sure his mother’s phone was secure in his pocket, Joseph put his foot on and set off.

 

* * *

 

“I hate science,” Emilio muttered to himself as he sat on his bed, trying to decipher his bio homework. Someone had rung the bell a minute ago but his sisters and mother were home so they could answer. Emilio wasn’t in the mood to answer anyways. He’d probably be nasty to whoever it was just because he was so done with shit right now.

“Come in,” he murmured – still focused on his homework – when there was a knock on his door. He didn’t look up until he heard something being rested against his dresser.

The something was a skateboard and the someone was his boyfriend who was eating his lip alive as he stood with his hands behind his back after closing the door, looking nervous. “Hey,” Joseph said quietly.

“Hi,” he replied, looking back down at his homework. “What’s up? It’s pretty late for you to be out and about.”

He listened as Joseph took in a deep breath and let it out as he walked to the edge of Emilio’s bed. “Emilio, I… I’m really sorry about earlier.”

That was nice. Anyone could rehearse an apology.

So Emilio stayed silent, keeping his mind on biology.

When Joseph realized he wasn’t going to say something, he crouched down on the floor, resting his crossed arms on the bed, trying to catch Emilio’s eye. “How I acted was wrong and I’m sorry for it. I was being a piece of shit and I’m really sorry. You’re right; if I didn’t like what you were saying, I should have talked about it instead of just yelling. I’m sorry.”

Picking up his head to look into his hopeful boyfriend’s face, Emilio said “You were being a huge piece of shit. You have no right to treat me like that.”

Biting his lip, Joseph swallowed visibly and responded “No, I didn’t and don’t. And I’m sorry. I want to be better than that and I’m really going to try to be. But…I’m gonna need your help and well…your patience. I’m sorry. I know I’m not the easiest person to put up with but…”

“You’re not,” Emilio agreed with a nod. A shadow crossed Joseph’s face as he looked down at Emilio’s blanket. “But,” he continued, “You’re worth every headache I get from your stupidity.”

“Yeah?” Joseph said in hope, picking up his head which now wore a huge smile. “Every single one?”

“Every single stupid ass headache that you give me.” Leaning in and pressing a soft kiss to Joseph’s lips, Emilio whispered “Because you’re my perfect, Joseph. Apology accepted, asshole.”

“Really? I wasn’t done yet.” Emilio couldn’t help but smile from the small blush tinging Joseph cheeks as he revealed what was hiding behind his back. Holding out the chocolate rose, Joseph smiled cockily “Flowers alone are so cheesy. Same thing with chocolate. But combined? My dear bromilio, chocolate and flowers combined makes you chocolate roses and that shit is the bomb.”

Laughing as he accepted the edible rose, Emilio said “The bomb, huh?” Unwrapping the red foil, Emilio broke a piece off and handed it to Joseph. “It’s even better when shared.”

Taking the piece by using his mouth, Joseph mumbled around the chocolate “Totally worth my money.”

“You gotta go home or can you sit?” Emilio asked as he munched on his chocolate rose, homework now not his problem because his boyfriend was more important.

Looking sad, Joseph muttered after breaking off another piece of chocolate “Nah, I gotta go. Mayko said I had to be fast. I was lucky I was even allowed to leave. I was so worried she wouldn’t let me. I definitely wouldn’t have gotten any sleep if I hadn’t been able to come.”

“Do you even know what sleep is?” Emilio laughed after swallowing another piece of delicious chocolate.

“When I get to sleep next to you, I do,” Joseph smiled cheekily. “See, when a Bulgarian Joseph cuddles with a Puerto Rican Emilio, sleep comes from its grand palace and grants them its magical gifts.”

“Ah,” Emilio nodded, grinning from the ridiculous story. Scooting over and closing his bio book before dropping it on the floor, Emilio patted the spot beside him as he lay down. Joseph rolled onto the bed and cuddled close. His door was closed so they didn’t have to worry. His family always knocked before coming in. “So if it was a…Russian Joseph and a Mexican Emilio, sleep wouldn’t come out of its palace? No gifts?”

Laughing while resting his head on Emilio’s shoulder, Joseph snorted “No. Russian Joseph finds no rest. Bulgarian Joseph does when he’s in the presence of his amazing boyfriend who makes him happier than anyone.”

“How would Bulgarian Joseph put it?” Emilio joked, as he softly brushed the soft small hairs on the back of Joseph’s head. “Ah, yes. It’d go something like ‘I always knew I was awesome.’”

“Damn straight, bromilio. You’re fucking amazing.”

“No der.”

“For our anniversary, we gotta do something ultra special,” Joseph murmured sleepily after some time had passed. His boyfriend didn’t seem to be in a hurry but Emilio was enjoying their closeness physically and emotionally too much to remind him that he had to head out. “Maybe we’ll just say we’re going to the park and I’ll take you somewhere awesome for lunch. And then we actually go to the park and I give you an awesome gift which leads to you thanking me with kisses and then eventual public sex right there and then.”

Emilio was down for the plans until that last part to which he literally started choking on his own spit. “Oh my God, Joseph,” he laughed, although it was strained from his coughing.

“It’ll be a perfect anniversary gift! You don’t have to buy me anything, just have sex with me. That’s all. And because my birthday and our anniversary hit the same day which makes that day even more awesome, it’ll be a gift for both.”

“Ah,” Emilio smiled after placing a soft kiss atop Joseph’s head. “Makes so much sense. But, mi amor, we could get arrested for that. Knowing our sorry luck, we’ll get arrested by my dad.”

Joseph broke into loud raucous laughter, dislodging himself from Emilio’s side from how hard he was laughing. “That’d be hilarious! I can see it now! He’ll be there to interview witnesses or something for a case and then catches ear of the noises-”

Glaring down at his boyfriend who was caught off mid-speech by a fantastic shove and now on the floor, Emilio couldn’t help but smile. It was impossible not to. “The worst possible thing that could ever happen in my life be one of my parents catching me having sex. I’d probably die of embarrassment. Too much blood flooding my cheeks and all. They’ll just burst open and fling blood everywhere and then I’ll die from cheek blood loss.”

Snorting as he sat up, Joseph replied “Yeah…that’d really suck just in general. Both getting caught and the horrible death of check blood loss. When my dad caught me and Alicia the first time, it was embarrassing as fuck.”

“You were still innocent then, dear boyfriend mine. If he caught you with your tongue down some girl’s throat now, you’d probably just smirk and keep going after you say all cheekily ‘do you mind?’”

“Probably,” Joseph smirked. “I can’t help it. Just how I am, pookster.”

Groaning and slapping his face with his hand that was adorned by nothing now, Emilio muttered “One day, I swear to God, I’m going to punch you for calling me pookie and all of its lame ass derivatives. One freaking day, Joseph Kavinsky.”

Joseph stood then, adjusting his cap on his head and straightening his ruffled clothes. Making his way to grab his board then stopping, Joseph turned back around and grinned wide. Kissing Emilio a quick goodbye, Joseph said in a tone that made Emilio really want to punch him right about now “But see…when we’re having sex and I call you pookie just for the hell of it, punching me will be the very last thing on your sexy mind.”

“Dead,” Emilio threatened as he abruptly got off his bed and was totally ready to tackle the annoyance to the floor.

But of course, he was stopped short.

By tripping on his dumb ass biology book.

Falling to the floor from stupidity and erupting into laughter, Joseph’s laughs joined him before saying “Duuumbassss.”

“Shut up,” he choked on his laughs. “This is all your pookie ass’ fault.”

Sniffing haughtily like those rich prim people tended to do, Joseph said in a mock posh voice “I happen to like my pookie ass. Along with yours of course, my dearest pookie.”

Tossing a pillow in Joseph’s direction which was easily batted away, Emilio snorted “Get outta here before your mama calls you up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')  
> Стринка (strínka) – a father’s brother’s wife


	168. Chapter 167

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> Welp...this is officially the beginning of the end. Officially official. It's insane, really, and yet here we are.
> 
> Wow.
> 
> Enjoy my dudes.
> 
> _“I hope he gets a ticket.”_
> 
>  
> 
> P.S. Picking a quote was really hard because there's like barely any talking in the next chpt. It's one of those set up ones that have all that narration and stuff.

Unfair.

Simple as that.

Simple. As. That.

“I’ll bring back amazing souvenirs, I promise,” his mother said as she continued packing her bag. “The best. What do you want?”

Mulling this over as he sat on her bed watching her pack her bag for tomorrow, Joseph realized he had no clue. Something cool but that seemed like a lame answer when everything from a foreign country was cool. “Idk, lady, but it better be awesome and a whole bag full of a variety of items that can only be acquired in Italy.”

“Noted,” she laughed as she folded a pair of pajamas. “I’m sure you and your bashtá will do lots of fun things, don’t worry.”

“Maybe we will,” Joseph shrugged. “But I guarantee that it won’t be as cool as a trip to Italy. I’m so jealous.” Taking a minute to think about this whole situation, he added “And offended. This is ridiculously unfair, mayko.”

Rolling her eyes as she dropped a pair of boots in the suitcase, his mother replied “Me and your tétka deserve plain old sister time. No husbands, no children. Just two Jersey girls on an adventure like ye olden days.”

“Ye olden days,” Joseph mocked as he lay down. “Two Jersey girls. What about the Jersey girls’ kids? They want adventures too.”

“Too bad for them,” she laughed. “They’ll just have to wait their turns.”

Of course she would say that. She and his tétka had been planning this trip for the past month and since he had gotten wind of it, Joseph hadn’t been happy.

So fucking unfair.

Their plan was to spend two weeks in Italy. Two whole weeks in a beautiful country without him.

Not cool.

“C’mon, mayko, you could get me a last minute ticket. You guys need a dude to defend your honors and stuff. I happen to have an empty schedule.” The sound of the garage came which meant his father had made it home for the day.

Snorting in her laughter as she came back from her closet with a couple shirts, she said “Thank you, baby. However, your statement has problems. One, me and your tétka are two of thee toughest women to exist. Trust me, no one in hell is gonna mess with us and get away with it.”

That was most likely true. “And two?”

“Your schedule is far from empty. School exist, dear child mine.”

Yeah, there was that. “Write me a doctor’s note.”

“Did the doctor order Italian fresh air?”

“Yes ma’am,” he smiled as Peanut strolled into the room, probably looking for some company. She jumped up onto the bed to joined him, eagerly curling into his side. His poor girl was getting old but Joseph was hoping that she’d beat the old cat world record. He always made sure she was in good health but you never really knew.

He’d miss her when she died.

“I need pure unadulterated Italian air.”

“Ew.”

“Get over yourself, Ivo,” his mother chimed to his father who came walking in, already undressing from his suit as he did.

“Yo, man, I’m sitting,” Joseph yawned while giving Peanut an amazing rubbing.

“Since when has that bothered you,” his father snorted while throwing his shirt in the laundry, a sleeve left hanging out.

Fair enough. “I thought you’re shy,” Joseph joked with a smirk even though he was staring at the ceiling.

He didn’t need to look at his father to know he was rolling his eyes. “You exhaust me, child.”

“Tatko, we gotta do something exciting while mayko’s gone to make her jealous and ashamed for leaving us behind.”

Nodding his head as he grabbed his towel, his father replied “We sure as hell do. What kind of person goes to Italy?”

“Everyone goes to Italy, love,” his mother laughed. “Like everyone. Literally.”

“Pft,” his father blew as he walked into the bathroom to take a shower. Sometimes when his father came home from working, he smelled like smoke even though he himself never lit a cigarette or cigar. But a lot of the men he worked around did so he ended up getting the smell stuck to his clothes. “You guys chose the wrong place to enjoy.”

“Oh? Enlighten me, Lord Kavinsky.”

“Well,” came his father’s voice as the sound of the shower door being opened did. “You guys could have picked your damn home country that you’ve never even seen. It’s even more beautiful than Italy could ever be.”

“Tatko,” Joseph called out. “How ‘bout we go to Bulgaria while mayko and tétka are in Italy. Me and you. Show me all your old haunts.”

Pants came flying out of the bathroom followed by underwear. His mother huffed at them before picking them up and tossing the offending clothes into the laundry basket. “Damn, I’d love to if we could. I’d show you all of it. I’d show you my old house, my school, the place where me and Lazar used to jack shit from other kids, the parks… fucking memories.”

“How about in the summer? Me, you, and mayko? Vacation just for us?”

“It’s a thought but don’t put too much hope into it,” his father called back before he turned the water on and the shower door closed. “It’s a big if.”

Joseph wondered how Lazar and them were doing. He asked his father occasionally and he’d just give small highlights here and there. “Anything new with Lazar?” he called out. Whether his father would hear him over the shower was questionable.

“Oh!” his mother suddenly exclaimed as she checked over the things in her bag. “Big big news!”

“With Lazar?”

“Yeah! Your bashtá told me last night. Totally forgot to mention it. Guess what?”

God did he hate the guessing games. He was sorry he ever forced them upon his poor pookie. “Uh, mayko, just tell me.”

“They got a child!”

Okay, that was big news. “Seriously?” he asked as he sat up. “Lazar and Raina?”

“Yup!” she smiled happily, taking a seat next to him and hugging him for no reason what’s so ever. “They adopted a little girl. Her name’s Katerina and she’s four and freaking adorable. Remind your bashtá to show you the picture.”

He smiled because there was no way he wouldn’t. Lazar and Raina had been wanting kids for years and while Katerina wasn’t their biological child, Joseph knew they’d treat her like a freaking queen. “Wish we got to meet her.”

“Me too. She’s the complete opposite of every single girl in your family plus the Vidal girls.”

“So quiet, shy, most likely proper with adorable smiles?” Joseph laughed. Anka and Albena didn’t know what the hell quiet or shy meant although Albena could pull some adorable smiles. Maybe it was because Anka was only a year younger than him that he couldn’t classify her as adorable. Pretty but not adorable. Plus, she was Anka – loud, brash, and a ‘I’ll kick your ass’ attitude. And he loved her for it. It made her, well, her. And despite how insane Albena could be, he loved the cute brat.

Then there was Ivet. Who was very Ivetish.

Everyone understood exactly what that meant.

The Vidal girls were similar to his cousins with the exception being Alondra and Linda. Not because Alondra was like Katerina but because she was a thousand times worse than everyone combined.

She was like Ivet two-point-o.

Linda was more of the shy quiet type so her and Katerina were probably the same. Unless Linda was pissed, then she would ‘get all Puerto Rican on your ass.’

It only took him a few months to learn what that meant.

“Exactly,” his mother laughed, arms still looped around Joseph’s shoulders. Pressing a nasty slobber kiss on his cheek, she said “Love you, Joseph.”

Wiping the nastiness off onto his shoulder to which she laughed, he replied “Love you too.”

 

 

Seeing her off the next morning had not been fun at all. Sending her off voluntarily had probably been one of the hardest things he had ever had to do. The only times he had been without her, she had left him. But him letting her go?

Goddamn did it hurt.

Which was silly because she was just going on a vacation. And only two weeks at that.

But still.

He had felt ridiculous in front of his father and his tétka’s family but none of them understood what his mother was for him. She was the only person in the world where he knew if he were to lay all his troubles on her, she’d embrace them and him and make sure they made it through together.

In a cheesy sense, she was his rock.

So maybe he hadn’t unleashed his soul onto her yet but one day he would. And when that day came, he knew his mother would take every single word in stride.

Every single damn one of them.

So while his cousins’ mother was going on vacation, Joseph’s was leaving him to fend in the world alone. Dramatic, overreacting, whatever someone wanted to call it, it didn’t matter.

Because it was the truth.

And she knew it.

_“Here,” she murmured quietly after separating from their long hug that Joseph felt was still too short. “Take care of this for me.”_

_She was holding out her favorite necklace. It was one of many that his father had given her over the course of their relationship but it was also the first. His mother wore it almost always with its little gold key charm with a tiny green emerald sitting just below her collar bone. It was cheap jewelry, what his father had been able to afford at that time, but she loved it more than her expensive pieces._

_“Are you sure?” Joseph said in surprise, still staring down at it in her hand._

_“’Course I’m sure,” she laughed quietly as she stretched up to clasp it around his neck. “Keep it safe for me until I get back. Them damn Italians will probably try to get their filthy paws all over it, you know? Can never trust one.”_

_Smiling as he looked down and rubbed the charm that now sat upon his chest, Joseph replied “Don’t spout tatko’s garbage now.” Looking back to her, he murmured “But are you sure?”_

_“Positive. You take extra care with it so that way when I come back, you can give it right back to me, okay?”_

_The way she was talking made Joseph know that she could read every inch of depression of her leaving on his face. He didn’t know if she had specifically brought the necklace with her today for this reason but regardless, he was beyond thankful. It was like having a part of her with him while she was gone._

_“Right back,” he swore. Dragging her back into a tight hug, Joseph murmured into her hair “Make sure you come back so I can give it to you, okay?”_

_“Of course! And then we’re going to spend the whole night watching movies and eating popcorn. Ooh and drinking soda. Just me and you. I’ll allow Peanut too.”_

_Laughing, he kissed her cheek as he mumbled “Can’t wait.”_

Joseph had been able to read Andrey’s eye roll even if he hadn’t actually done it. It wasn’t Joseph’s fault that he and his mother had a closer relationship than Andrey and Joseph’s tétka. He shouldn’t have to be embarrassed for loving his mother.

He let out a sigh as they sat in traffic in New York City. All he wanted to do was either go home so he could wallow in his depression or go to Emilio’s to wallow in his depression with the warmth of his boyfriend beside him.

“Am I really that bad?” his father muttered in the driver’s seat beside Joseph. Resting his head back on the head rest and tapping a finger on the steering wheel, he added “I mean, Jesus, she’s coming back.”

“I know. Just let me be a mama’s boy in peace, please.”

Surprisingly, his father didn’t sound at all judgmental. Joseph figured it took one mama’s boy to know another. “Are you gonna get over your pity party by tomorrow?”

He shrugged as they slowly inched their way forward in hellish Queens. They were still close to the airport for God’s sake. They had told her to leave from Newark in Jersey but no. She wanted JFK. Sighing once more because traffic made you do that, Joseph murmured “Depends if I feel like it.”

“Well,” his father drawled before he suddenly hit the brakes and flipping off some other driver along with a few choice curses, “I hope not because I’m taking the day off and kinda have something fun planned.”

Just a tad bit of excitement flared up. “Oh yeah?”

“Yup. I think you’re gonna love it. But I refuse to take your pity party with us so…”

“I can’t help how I feel,” Joseph snapped in annoyance. Clearing his throat when he realized his mistake, he murmured “Sorry. I didn’t mean to be rude.”

Sighing and not even seeming like he was bothered, his father simply said “I’m just saying, our two weeks are not going to be enjoyable if you just want to spend it wallowing in bed. I want it to be fun and I think it could be if you just help me out a little in the emotion department. Just a little less depression. Not asking for much.”

Wallowing hadn’t been his only plan. He also wanted to kiss the hell out of Emilio because that always made him happy and keep implanting his plan of birthday/anniversary sex. At least once every couple of days, Joseph would place the reminder once again in Emilio’s brain. Whether it was working, he had no clue but he sure hoped so.

He hadn’t been kidding when he said he was dying to have sex.

“I can probably manage that,” he yawned while rubbing the key charm between his fingers. “I’ll try.”

“Thank you. I appreciate the consideration.”

“So what does our fun two weeks include?”

Also yawning because they had all gotten up early this morning, his father replied “I’m gonna teach you to drive.”

There was no way he heard correctly. Sitting up straight and turning to stare at his father, Joseph repeated in disbelief “Teach you to drive?”

“Yes sir. That’s the plan. I have a crappy Camry for you to practice on so if shit happens, I shed no tears.”

“Seriously?” It wasn’t getting into his brain right now. “I’m seriously gonna learn to drive?”

Smiling and rolling his eyes while probably feeling incredibly proud of himself right now, his father snorted “Seriously. You’re plenty tall enough which I say with great pride and you’re smart. Shouldn’t be a problem.”

Tall. Hell fucking yeah.

Five fucking eight.

The pride was overflowing over here.

“I think our two weeks just might be great,” Joseph laughed in excitement. “Best two weeks ever. Just maybe.”

Just maybe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')  
> Стринка (strínka) – a father’s brother’s wife


	169. Chapter 168

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> So where's everything at Sam? Well, let me tell you, my dudes.  
> It's finished. Like literally I finished writing this story Friday night. Everything.  
> And I don't know how I feel about it honestly. It's sad in a bittersweet way, you know? It's like closing a chpt of life or whatever. But it's done in all its glory.  
> What happens now is that it's going to undergo some serious editing for grammar and stuffs. Meaning I'm going to be rereading from the beginning which is going to be insane. I wonder how fast I can edit 175 chpts plus prologue/epilogue. That'll be fun. This monster actually hasn't been beta'd since like January. This has been a one-lady show all this time.
> 
> What's kind of funny is that I wanted to end this by November and ironically the last chpts plus epilogue will exactly end us on Thursday the 30th if we keep with our normal schedule. Some poetic crap right there that I didn't even plan.
> 
> Snapshots should come this coming week, hopefully. Most likely really. Don't forget you're always welcome to request whatever you like.
> 
> And...here we are. Let hell commence. Well, the start of hell I should say.  
> Enjoy
> 
>  _“Emilio, I swear to God, if you keep talking, your family is never going to find your body. Shut the fuck up.”_  
>  (yes, we've arrived to this point Saffoooo)

Coming to a careful and slow stop at the first stop sign he’s ever encountered in a car, Joseph looked both ways and was about to go because it was clear before his father’s voice stopped him.

“Tell me what you did wrong.”

Blinking at his father in confusion, Joseph thought about the entire ten minutes he’s been in the driver’s seat. He had thought he had done well. His father made him tell him where and what everything is inside the car and what they did. Joseph had passed easily with flying colors. Next, he had adjusted his mirrors and chair, put his seat belt on, and turned on the car. When he had backed out of the space where the Camry was parked in the outside lot of his father’s gated car warehouse, he had been extremely slow but his father said he did a good job.

_“Go slow until you know how to gauge distances properly. Better safe than ending up hitting something or someone.”_

Then after straightening himself, he had stopped carefully at the gate, looked both ways, and turned right onto the one-way street.

And now he was at the stop sign.

So what was wrong?

Biting his lip as he continued thinking while sending a thank you up to the sky for the street being empty, Joseph eventually said “I don’t know.”

“Let’s think about it then,” his father replied as he got comfortable in the passenger’s seat. “If you were to make a turn right now, what do you need to do?”

“I’d look around just to make sure that no one was going out of turn, then I’d put my blinker for whatever direction I needed. Then turn.”

“Good. When you turned out of the lot, what didn’t you do?”

His blinker. But it was a one-way street? There was only one way he could turn. Why did he need a blinker? “I didn’t signal. But, tatko, it’s a one way, why do I have to signal? It doesn’t matter.”

He let out a noise of surprise when a hard knuckled tapped on his head. “Wrong answer. You always signal. Doesn’t matter if it’s one way. If you make a habit not to signal, then you end up forgetting when you actually need to. So?”

“Always signal,” he nodded. “Okay.”

“Good. Alright, take us right.”

The easier of the two turns. Joseph was a little nervous when he’d have to attempt a left on a big street. “Easy,” he murmured as he made sure to signal, then turned right. He continued on the street, waiting for the next direction and eventually reached another stop sign.

“Very nice,” his father nodded. “Now left. Don’t go too far out because remember, someone will be in front of you, making their own turn.”

“’Kay,” Joseph nodded as he made sure to turn on the signal for left and made his turn.

“Little too wide but not bad for a first. Alright, keep going for the next two streets, then left again.”

Breathing steadily as they continued on and feeling like he got the hang of this so far, Joseph’s stomach churned once they reached the street where he was to turn. He didn’t mind that it was a stoplight instead of a sign. What worried him was that there were a couple cars as he came to a halt behind one.

“Way too fucking close,” his father noted as he leaned forward to check out the distance. “You need to give yourself another couple feet. Tell me why that’s important.”

Thinking as he nervously waited for the light to change, Joseph said “For maneuvering? Like if I suddenly need to have space to move away? Also so I don’t hit him?”

A little touch of warmth ignited him as he saw touches of pride in his father’s eyes. “Very good. Now that applies even when you’re driving, not just when you’re stopped. Tailgating is a bitch and dangerous. Avoid it for your own safety and also other peoples. Light’s green.”

Focusing back on the street, Joseph very carefully turned after the sedan in front of him. “Good?” he asked as he drove behind the car with another behind him. Too much crowing for him even though they weren’t even that close.

“Better than the last but still a little wide. But you’ll get that with practice. Left on the next light.”

 _Way too many lefts._ “Okay.” He jumped a little when the person behind him honked. “What’d I do?”

“Nothing, he’s just an impatient prick,” his father snorted in disgust. “Don’t worry about it; you’re doing great. Keep going.”

The reassurance had been great up until the guy honked a second time. Joseph was going the speed limit, he didn’t understand what this guy’s problem was. “How ‘bout that time? He’s making me nervous.”

Annoyance flickered onto his father’s face as he said “Pull over and let the fuckwad pass you. You don’t need to put up with his shit.”

Sounded good. Putting his signal, Joseph pulled over to the edge of the street and watched the guy fly by them. “I hope he gets a ticket.”

“Me too,” his father muttered. “Okay, signal, check to make sure it’s safe, and pull out.”

Nodding in response because he was focusing on checking behind himself and looking at his mirrors, Joseph pulled back into the street once it was clear. The light he was to turn on was already green so he quickly put his blinker and turned left. “Now?”

“That one was perfect! Well done.”

“Thank you, thank you,” Joseph smiled in delight. His father’s praise was one of the hardest things to get so it always felt extra special when it was given.

“Now go all the way down until we reach the warehouse and you’ll turn into the lot. Sound good?”

“Yup. I got this.” His confidence was way high up right now. “Hey, tatko? Remember when you took me and Emilio in your Ferrari and went super fast on that stretch of highway? You gonna teach me to do that too?”

Laughing, his father replied “You barely just mastered the left turn. Let’s get down the basics first, yeah? Then we’ll worry about all the lovely illegal shit.”

Fair enough. “What if I master the basics in a few days?”

“Let’s get to that point and then we’ll worry about it, okay?”

“Okay, okay,” he muttered as he turned into the lot.

Day one.

Success.

 

 

The days passed on in a similar fashion. Breakfast – sometimes out – his father working the morning, them having lunch together – also sometimes out – and then a driving lesson. The day usually ended with dessert and then a movie or them playing video games together.

All in all, it was turning out to be really fun. His father was putting in as much as effort as possible to make sure he and Joseph enjoyed their time together.

And Joseph really was.

He kept up his end of the bargain and tried his best not to fall a victim to his constant depression. Grudgingly, he had to admit that the pills were helping.

Very grudgingly because he hated the damn things.

Emilio also helped because he was the damn best boyfriend in the world.

And yes, Joseph was still planting the sex gift seed. He could tell Emilio would get annoyed sometimes from how often Joseph brought it up but he wasn’t going to give up. He was dying for it and it wasn’t like they were stupid. They knew how to have safe sex.

So he didn’t get why Emilio constantly said that they didn’t need to rush it. To Joseph, it wasn’t rushing. They were planning for June. It was April. That’s called thinking ahead. Emilio was already fifteen and Joseph would be soon; it sounded like a good age to him.

Joseph was ready.

He just wished Emilio would hurry up and be ready too.

Like seriously.

His mother was having an amazing time in Italy according to her every night when he called her. It was usually morning of the next day when he talked to her but she didn’t mind. She just loved hearing his voice, she’d always say. He knew it was a thing people said, just like when she’d say she missed him but it always made him smile when she’d say it. Knowing that she was thinking of him while she was living it up in a foreign country made him feel special.

And he enjoyed feeling special.

Especially when he was both special and loved.

Banging combination.

They hadn’t told her about the driving because she’d probably have a fit, so they decided they’d tell her once she was back. It’d make it easier on them all that way.

According to his father, Joseph drove better than more than half the fucking assholes who were on the streets currently. It was definitely one of the best compliments he had ever gotten. No one had honked at him again yet, he had mastered all turns including u-turns, and could park like a pro.

Fucking pro is what his father had told him.

This guy was a fucking pro at driving.

_Fucking pro._

In the matter of only a week and half.

If he kept pressing his father, he felt like he might be able to convince him by the come of summer to teach him to drive fast like he did. Joseph had already gotten him to agree to let him do donuts in an empty parking lot.

Donuts were insane as fuck.

What had especially gotten Joseph excited was when his father had taken him to a drag strip late at night. His father didn’t race that night but showed and explained it all to Joseph. It had been beautiful watching these cars race.

From then, Joseph knew that that was going to be him one day.

Him and his Evo.

Things had gotten even more exciting when on their way home from the strip, his father had been challenged to a street race. It was such a simple proposition too. His father had come to a stop at an empty red stoplight.

And someone pulled up next to him.

_“That dude keeps staring,” Joseph pointed out when he realized the guy with a beard kept glancing at his father._

_Taking notice of the guy and his bright orange Mustang with yellow under lights, his father snorted and rolled his eyes. “That fucker can shove his glare down his throat.”_

_“Okay but why’s he staring?”_

_“Because.”_

_Now Joseph couldn’t help but roll his eyes. “Stupid answer.”_

_When the guy started revving his engine as they waited for the light to change, Joseph suddenly realized why he was staring. “Ohhh. We doing it?”_

_“Hell fucking yeah,” his father smirked as he shut off the heat and flexed his hand that was still griping the wheel of his Camaro. “We’re going to smoke his ass.”_

_Excitement buzzed through his veins. The rush that came just from the prospect of a street race was insane._

_Definitely something he’d like to experience while actually being behind the wheel._

_His father’s eyes flashed to the opposite light as it suddenly turned yellow. “Here we go. Brace yourself, brat.”_

_Oh, he was braced._

_And so fucking ready._

_How his father knew exactly when to hit the gas exactly when the light changed was something he didn’t understand. But it was something he planned on learning._

_Both them and the Mustang shot forward, neck and neck._

_But only in the beginning. His father happened to be a hell of a driver._

_He wasn’t a dorky car nerd for nothing apparently._

_The way he switched gears was flawless, from first to second to third to fourth. They had left the guy behind them by the time his father was switching to fourth but he very happily went on to fifth. The adrenaline was flooding through both of them as they cheered in their happiness._

_“Kicked his fucking ass,” his father whooped with a very Jersey fist bump._

_Caught up in all the excitement, Joseph joined in with his own whoops and totally Jersey fist bumps._

Rolling off his bed and onto his feet in a beautifully quick smooth motion, Joseph grabbed the house phone off his dresser to see who was calling. Typically, no one would besides his father and typically, Joseph wasn’t even home at this time. But school had gotten out early today to which Joseph had completely forgotten to mention to his father. It didn’t matter though because last night his father had mentioned that he’d have to take the full day for work. Ever since his mother had left for her vacation, his father would do half days but he said today that wasn’t possible.

So Joseph was on his own for the day. His father had looked regretful for leaving Joseph all by himself until probably midnight but he had said it couldn’t be helped.

Admittedly, Joseph wasn’t excited about spending the day alone but he could deal. He’d wait until Emilio got out of school because he didn’t know if he had an early out too and then tell him to come over.

Glancing at the name on the caller I.D. before the thing stopped ringing, Joseph’s face lit with a huge smile.

 

* * *

 

Ivo huffed as he got out of his car, locking it behind him. He had parked on the street because, per usual these days, he forgot something. His brain was so scattered lately – too much work is what he thought. Fucking with his brain is what it did. He’d get ready to leave and then forget his phone. When he would get the phone, somehow, he’d forget his wallet or his keys.

It was an endless annoying cycle of forgetfulness that would cause Vesela to laugh and then check his head for gray hairs.

Luckily, none had been found as of yet.

Unlocking the door, Ivo walked into the emptiness of his home. Goddamn did he miss Vesela; he couldn’t wait until she came back in a couple days. It was way too quiet without her here. Joseph rarely talked on a good day, not to be all chatty on a normal one. Although, Ivo was pretty proud at how well he was keeping Joseph’s mind occupied from missing Vesela too much.

Was Ivo jealous?

Yeah, actually, he was. For some reason, he didn’t think Joseph would be on the verge of a breakdown if he were to be the one going somewhere for two weeks.

But he stuffed that bit of jealousy down where it should be and decided he was going to give his son the best two weeks of father-son bonding ever.

Seemed to be working so far. The driving had been a brilliant idea on his part. Joseph was loving every second and his brat was a fucking natural.

They could tell and give Vesela her heart attack later.

Slipping off his shoes at the foot of the stairs because they didn’t wear shoes on the carpet, Ivo thought about how much he hated walking into an empty house. The fact that Joseph was in school at the moment was kind of depressing. Earning a smile from his brat would brighten the mood of a heavy workload day. Not to mention that Ivo hated coming home, even for a minute, to a silent house.

His fucked up brain worked fast. Thoughts he didn’t like listening to came up quickly in the silence.

Dragging himself up the stairs, Ivo walked past Joseph’s room knowing it was empty and that there was no point in looking in like he usually did.

_Hold up, what?_

Stopping abruptly, Ivo slowly walked backwards back to Joseph’s doorway, making sure his steps were quiet. He stood in the doorway, taking in the scene before him in shock.

And disgust.

_What the fucking fucks…_

His brain could barely even comprehend what he saw in front of him. It was that unbelievable. But his mind couldn’t be that fucked where Ivo would actually hallucinate what was in front of him.

The sight that was assaulting his eyes was beyond revolting. It just wasn’t possible that he was imagining this.

But he prayed to God he was.

However, he knew for a fact that he wasn’t.

And he couldn’t fucking believe it.

Joseph was sitting on his bed, back to the headboard with his legs stretched out, one slightly bent in. That by itself would have been completely fine. Problem was that it wasn’t by itself; it was so much more than just _that._

Because Emilio was sitting in Joseph’s lap, straddling him, knees on either side of Joseph’s body as Joseph’s arms were wrapped at his hips. Emilio had a hand cupping Joseph’s face and the other, Ivo guessed, was probably on the back of his son’s head.

And they had their tongues down each other’s throats. Literally, it looked like they were eating each other’s faces.

Ivo could seriously throw up right now.

Especially when Joseph let out a noise that meant he was enjoying himself.

A red haze set over his brain. It was like warning lights screaming one thing.

Faggot.

His kid was a disgusting fucking faggot.

Joseph Ivo Kavinsky.

Faggot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')  
> Стринка (strínka) – a father’s brother’s wife


	170. Chapter 169

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> This is pretty much the climax of the whole story. It took 168 chpts to get here. Crazy  
> Hope you guys like  
> Enjoy!
> 
> _I could throw up from how panicked I am right now._

Joseph couldn’t help but let out a little noise of delight as Emilio nibbled on his lower lip. Right now, kissing to his brain was the most amazing thing ever. It was like living at a hundred miles an hour; it gave him a delightful rush in his body. It literally could level the rush Joseph got when a car was going a hundred miles an hour.

That intense.

If he only got to choose one thing to be happy for in his life, it was definitely meeting Emilio. Meeting the boy he _loved._ Joseph never thought he would ever be able to say that about anyone. If Emilio had never kissed Joseph that first time, Joseph would have just continued to ignore those nasty feelings inside of himself. Maybe forced himself to get another girlfriend to make everyone happy and make himself feel a little closer to normal.

But then he had Emilio. To this day, Joseph was amazed on how lucky he was that it turned out that all these years, his best friend was actually bisexual.

Bisexual.

Something Joseph didn’t even know was a thing.

But it was. It was normal.

Along with being gay.

Joseph was gay. And that was completely normal.

And completely okay.

_Thank you, God, for blessing me with him. Thank you, thank you, thank you._

He squealed a bit when Emilio bit his lip too hard. Joseph was pretty sure it was bleeding if the metal tang was anything to go by. Putting less than an inch between them, he laughed “Ouch, jerk.”

Emilio smirked as he leaned in for another kiss. “Maybe you should bring your brain back here from where ever it was. I like to think I’m pretty darn interesting you know.”

Pulling away once more, he replied while trying to catch his breath “Just a bit. Don’t oversell yourself now. I only keep you around for the kisses, nothing else.” Maybe the groping too. That was fantastic.

Smiling, Emilio cupped his hands around Joseph face, leaned in and rubbed their noses together. Joseph couldn’t help but think of Eskimo kisses every time he did this. Pecking Joseph on the lips, Emilio whispered “Only the kisses, huh?”

Wearing a smile himself, Joseph finished the distance between their mouths, kissing Emilio as passionately as he possibly could, trying to transmit his feelings as well as possible. Emilio made a satisfied noise in his throat as their tongues pressed against each other and Joseph was sure that he was successful.

His boyfriend pulled away, delight in his beautiful sparkling brown eyes as his chest rose and fell, trying to catch his breath. “Definitely not just the kisses,” he breathed.

“Okay, so maybe not just the kisses,” Joseph laughed. He pulled Emilio closer again, kissing him deep.

He’d never been happier that school had finished early today. They were definitely lucky that both their schools finished early. So much for spending the day alone.

He had Emilio to enjoy.

They would usually have to steal quick kisses or go to Emilio’s house the rare times it was actually empty – something that didn’t happen often. But his mother was still on her vacation for the next couple days and his father had a nice full long day of work. They had decided that they should make use of the empty house while they had a chance. A nice big empty house and Joseph’s bed was much bigger than Emilio’s.

_Thank you, God, for making this past year the best._

He let out another squeal when Emilio bit him again. “What is with you and biting?” Joseph muttered as he ran his tongue on his lower lip, tasting the blood.

Smirking, Emilio replied “Seriously, I will bite you every time your brain goes off somewhere else. You have your boyfriend literally in your lap, kissing the hell out of you and yet your mind is gone.” He leaned in and ran his tongue on Joseph’s bitten lip. “Focus,” he whispered.

“Can’t at the moment. Still comprehending the fact that I have my boyfriend in my lap and kissing the hell out of me. Dream come true right there.”

Emilio smiled full of delight and love. “For you and me both,” he murmured, pressing in for another kiss.

“What the fuck…” a voice whispered.

They both froze, their eyes wide. Joseph was sure that his heart had stopped beating. Dear God, did he know that voice. He flicked his gaze over Emilio’s shoulder to look at his father who stood with a face full of utter disgust and eyes filled with fury. Joseph had no idea how long he had been standing there or when he had come home.

But there was one thing he knew for sure.

“I’m so dead,” he whispered, voice filled with the terror he was feeling. All he wanted to do was hide in the bathroom, maybe throw up while he was at it.

Emilio slowly got out of his lap and sat beside him, turning to look at Joseph’s father. Joseph knew he had to be as scared as he was feeling but he sure didn’t show it beyond the slight tremble in his hands. He had already explained to Emilio time and time again how homophobic his parents were. His boyfriend already knew that being caught was the worst thing that could ever possibly happen.

And they had been caught. It would probably go over easier if it had been his mother. But nope, Joseph always knew God had it out for him.

Because it was his father standing before them, fists clenched in anger and revulsion distorting his handsome face. “What the fuck,” he repeated, voice much louder and stronger this time around.

Joseph watched as Emilio swallowed nervously. “Mr. Kavinsky,” he started.

His father interrupted, pointing a finger at Emilio. “Don’t you even fucking speak. Don’t you dare, you fucking disgusting faggot.”

Joseph winced at the words as his breaths became shorter. He knew for a fact that if he didn’t take his pills, he would have had a panic attack the minute he had heard his father’s voice.

Maybe they really were useful.

Emilio fiddled with his hands nervously but tried again. Joseph could never be as brave as he was being. “Mr. Kavinsky, if I can just say som-”

“I said don’t speak.”

“But-”

His father’s voice turned like ice. “Emilio, I swear to God, if you keep talking, your family is never going to find your body. Shut the fuck up.”

Emilio paled at the threat and the tone of voice, biting his mouth closed. His boyfriend had never had the pleasure of being on the receiving end of that tone. Joseph figured if Emilio was willing to try to speak, he definitely should too. “Tatko,” he whispered.

Anger engulfed eyes flicked to him. Brown was now the most terrifying color in the world. “You disgusting motherfucking faggot. As if you’re not bad enough, you have to add dick sucker to your list.”

Joseph could feel the tears beginning to fill his eyes. He wasn’t sure he could actually face his father. His words alone were like fists, hurting and bruising.

He knew Emilio was watching the tears and somehow that had made his friend even braver. “Mr. Kavi-”

“I said shut the FUCK UP!” his father shouted in a voice so terrifyingly loud, face contorted in pure fury. Things would only get a thousand times worse now that he was yelling. Yelling was only reserved when his father couldn’t control himself anymore. It was rare.

And that made it a million times more terrifying.

His father clenched the bridge of his nose and shut his eyes. “Get the hell out of my house, Emilio. Get out now or I will genuinely murder you right this second. I’ve never killed or harmed a child, don’t make me start today.”

Emilio flicked his eyes back to Joseph, fear and worry engulfing them. Joseph was actually stupidly waiting for Emilio to call bullshit about the harming a child part even though Joseph knew he wouldn’t. Especially not now. He also knew that his boyfriend and best friend in the world didn’t want to leave him alone. But it would just be worse if he stayed.

So he had to go. Joseph wouldn’t let anything happen to the most amazing person in the world.

“Go,” Joseph whispered in a voice that came out stronger than he expected it to. But he’d manage anything for Emilio. “No worries.”

Brave was the only thing Joseph would be able to describe Emilio as when he reached over and hugged Joseph tight in front of the raging homophobe. Courageous was another as he pressed a kissed to the side of Joseph’s forehead and whispered in his ear “I love you.”

Joseph badly wanted to whisper back how much he loved him too but he was too afraid. His father was standing and watching with hate as Emilio got off the bed and, casting one last glance to Joseph, walked out.

His father waited until he heard the front door shut before he began his tirade. “I can’t even,” he let out a dry laugh that was so devoid of anything that it competed with the dryness of the Sahara desert. “I just… for fuck’s sake, I don’t even know what to say to you, you faggot. Are you happy with yourself? Proud that you’re one of those sick disgusting mistakes that happen in the world?”

He wasn’t sure if he was expected to answer or not as he sat curled in on himself, his head resting on his knees, and tears streaming down his face. He yelped as his father suddenly yanked his hair hard, pulling up his face to look at his. “Tatko, please, please, please… I’m sorry! I swear! It won’t happen again, I promise!”

Watching as his father sarcastically mulled over his answer, Joseph knew there was no forgiveness today. He cried harder as his father pulled some more. “It won’t happen again? What, are your sick faggot urges just going to magically disappear? No, see, I don’t think so. I think that if I forgive you today, it’s just going to happen again,” he pulled Joseph this way, “And again,” he pulled that way.

“And again!” his father shouted as he threw Joseph to the floor by just his hair. He yelped in pain as he curled in tight, knees to his chest, sobs wracking his body, and holding his head where it throbbed. Joseph was sure his hands were wet from blood. “YOU SICK DISGUSTING BASTARD! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!” Joseph let out another yelp as his father kicked him hard in the back. “It never ever entered my mind that you would be like this! I never thought I’d have a son who would get on his knees for a man!”

Joseph curled tighter as his father delivered another blow. “Tatko! Please stop! P-Please!” He tried to yank his father’s hands away as he grabbed his hair once more, dragging him up.

“Please? Begging is what your good at isn’t it? I’m curious, do you beg Emilio? Or does he beg you? Who is the disgusting whore who takes it?”

He tried his hardest to get his father’s hands to let go. His head was throbbing bad; he couldn’t take it anymore. He begged once more, ignoring his father’s cruel words. “P-Please let go! It hurts! Please!”

Tears were like a flood, rushing nonstop down his face. His father simply twisted his fingers harder in answer. “It hurts? This,” he yanked some more as Joseph cried out, “This hurts?”

“Yes! S-Stop!” His voice cracked in his tears and pain. God did it hurt. It was like a searing knife, unending in delivering pain.

Twisting his fingers in even harder, Joseph had the sudden stupid epiphany that he should have gotten a haircut recently. That stupidity only lasted a second until his father slammed him hard against the wall, a knee literally jamming forcefully into Joseph’s groin. Screaming in pain would do him no good so he just bit his lip hard to halt himself. He wouldn’t be surprised if he ended up going completely through, teeth meeting teeth.

“You sick disgusting faggot,” his father snarled in so much hate. Hate that was completely unfamiliar to him. “You bastard. What the fuck do you think I want with a fag? The fuck are you even worth? All these years of headache and my efforts are wasted? God gave me a fag? Anything I ever felt for you just died and has been buried six feet under. It’s never coming back, you nasty piece of shit. Proud of yourself?”

Even if he had wanted to say something, Joseph couldn’t manage it between his heavy body wracking sobs. He knew this would happen. He knew it, he knew it, he knew it.

He so fucking knew his father would never want him again.

And hearing and seeing the proof hurt more than anything in the entire world.

Sobbing harder when his father slapped him hard against the face, Joseph didn’t even know what to do. He didn’t have the will or even the strength to get the larger man away from him. “P-P-Please s-stop.” His face throbbed like there was a wildfire in it.

Actually, his whole body did.

Another slap except thirty times harder accompanied by another twist of hair. “You’re fucking pathetic, fag. Look at you sobbing like a bitch and begging.” His father literally spit on the floor. “Disgusting. But see, you’re lucky you have me! Guess why, fag.”

Fag. That was his name now. “W-Why.”

Leaning in close, his father snarled into his ear “Because I’m going to beat the faggot out of you.”

How it was possible, Joseph didn’t know but his fear spiked even higher than before. He didn’t have a chance to think about it though because his father kicked him down onto the floor. Joseph screamed and cried in pain when a foot slammed down onto his hand. Shoes weren’t worn but it still hurt like fuck. The foot then connected with his back, then stomach.

Joseph didn’t know how long he lay there crying and taking the blows but when his father paused for longer than a minute, he picked up his throbbing head which was adorned with a throbbing eye and nasty bruises. He could only imagine how bad the rest of his body looked when it had taken most of the hits.

His father was standing and shaking his head as he rested a hand on the dresser. “I can’t fucking believe it. I literally can’t. You didn’t beat up Laysen because you were insulted; you beat him because he was onto you. My son is a fag. A fucking pansy.” Clenching his fists, he rested both arms on the dresser and his forehead on his fists. “I can’t fucking believe it,” he laughed although to everyone in the room, it definitely wasn’t hilarious.

Shakily getting to his feet because he didn’t want to be easily subject to more kicks, Joseph stared at his father, his tears having ended during the beating because there was just none left to make. He was too afraid to speak.

Too afraid to even just breathe. Plus, it hurt like hell to do such a simple basic task. To take in the tiniest bit of air.

“A fag,” his father whispered while nodding his head, still rested against his fists. The nod suddenly shifted into shaking as if he were saying no to something. “I refuse. No son of mine is a cocksucker.”

Straightening and turning to face Joseph, his father stared at him, the fury and disgust still written all over him and his posture. “No son of mine,” he repeated.

Joseph would never truly know what was really going to happen after that. He didn’t give it the chance to play out.

Because he was too afraid of what could possibly happen, even if it might not have.

He had been too scared to just wait and see. Wait to find out what the true motive was.

All he knew were those last words his father repeated and him suddenly reaching behind himself.

There was only one thing that his father could reach back for.

One thing that was always in the back of his waistband, especially when he was working.

Where the sudden energy and courage came from, Joseph figured it was from his fear.

Fear was a powerful bastard.

Because the minute Joseph knew what his father was going for, he rushed him, slamming him hard into the dresser. It was funny really. He was suicidal, had tried before, and yet he wasn’t willing to die this way.

Whether he was actually going to be shot was something he’d never know. Maybe his father was just taking it out to set on the dresser. Maybe it had been slipping or was bothering him as he administered his ‘conversion therapy.’

So many maybes.

But fear was one damn tough fucking motivator.

And Joseph was terrified.

So the minute his father hit the dresser, he grabbed the gun which had fallen onto the floor.

Was it instinct? Survival mechanisms kicking in?

Revenge for everything horrible in his life?

This was something else he’d never know. Something he knew he’d spend his years analyzing again and again. Replaying the scene again and again and again in his brain.

It’d forever be on repeat.

Forever.

In his head, in his dreams, in his nightmares, Joseph would forever see when he put a bullet in his father’s head. Forever see the sudden way his body dropped.

The way the blood was seeping into the carpet.

How it splattered on the dresser, mirror, and wall.

Constantly hear the horrid sound a body made when it dropped like a ton.

Because it was dead.

Fear.

 

 

It was a powerful bastard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>    
> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')  
> Стринка (strínka) – a father’s brother’s wife


	171. Chapter 170

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> Snapshot for Sunday, Hatty. For sure. Sorry, I just been too busy.
> 
> Every time I update, I'm probs gonna say the same thing which is I can't believe we're practically done. Just...wow...  
> I kinda thought if the quiet dudes out there were ever gonna speak, it was for Ivo getting his head blown in. Guess I was wrong. Nothing apparently makes you ppl speak...but I appreciate the quiet support too just talking is more fun.  
> Enjoy
> 
> _"Please. Hate me later. Hurt me later. I don’t fucking care but I don’t have time right now.”_

Emilio spent the last half hour literally pacing the street a block away from his apartment. He couldn’t bring himself to go home because that officially meant that he had left Joseph behind.

But he was so damn afraid to go back.

So fucking terrified.

What if Mr. Kavinsky was being serious? What if he’d actually kill him and get rid of his body in such a fashion where his family would never find him? Forever think he was missing? He sure made it sound like he was serious. Emilio had never heard him talk like that before.

Must be his mobster side.

But then…

Joseph.

Joseph was still there, facing his father’s wrath. A father that Emilio knew was abusive. Knew he was abusive but Emilio was just too scared to do anything. To tell anyone.

Dear God, he was terrified.

What was he supposed to do?

“God help me pleaaassse,” Emilio cried in frustration, still pacing the damn street. Because he was short and didn’t seem intimidating, probably no one would call the cops and report some suspicious looking Latino. He definitely didn’t need that stress right now. This was the only time being short was a good thing. “The fuck do I do?”

He didn’t know.

Fear.

Such a powerful thing.

  

* * *

 

Joseph spent the last half hour literally throwing up and sobbing more than he had in his entire tear-filled life.

Nonstop for thirty minutes.

Vomit in the toilet although the first time it had been only inches from his father.

Cry atop it.

Then vomit some more.

And the more tears, the better apparently.

Puking into the toilet again for what could be the hundredth time for all he knew even though his stomach was absolutely empty, Joseph rested his head on the toilet seat and sobbed heavy wracking cries that were supposed to help the pain go away. Isn’t that what people _always_ said?

Cry and the pain will ease.

In his case, it only made things worse.

He killed his father.

Literally blew his head in.

Ivo Kavinsky.

Dead.

Not by the hand of rivals or some sort of coup.

But by his faggot son.

Somehow, Joseph felt like his father would be ashamed by that. The man would want a cooler death than being murdered by a fag.

Murdered.

Joseph was officially and very truly a murderer. He had killed an actual living person who was a part of this world, not dragged in from another.

“Dragged in…” Joseph trailed in realization, lifting his head from the toilet. He grimaced from the nastiness of his mouth but now wasn’t the time to worry about that.

Because he could fix this.

Standing abruptly although the movement didn’t help his stomach or the extreme amount of pain his body was in, Joseph quickly washed up and walked back out to his room.

“Don’t think about it,” he said to himself as he stared down at his father’s body, the blood from his head a pool around him. “Don’t think about it, Joseph. Just do. Just fix.”

The blood everywhere would need cleaning, not to mention the vomit. But he had to rid himself of the body first.

The body. Not his father.

“Just a body. You’ve done this before. He’s no one. It. It’s no one,” Joseph repeated to himself again and again, bracing himself for what had to happen.

First things first.

He had to cover his tracks.

His father had probably come home because he had forgotten something. Meaning Joseph had to figure out what this something was so he could get it to whoever needed it. What he needed was a lie and a liaison.

Taking a deep breath and stuffing his tears and guilt deep down where they’d never see the light of day, Joseph walked over to its body and crouched down. Slipping his hand into its pocket, he grabbed the phone and went to sit on his bed, dialing as he did while making sure he didn’t think about everything too hard.

Or else he’d break.

There was no time for that.

“Hey, tetíncho,” Joseph smiled in all false cheer.

“Joseph?” his uncle answered in surprise.

“Uh, yeah. Look I know that tatko came to pick something up but he’s been throwing up since he got here. I’m thinking stomach flu?”

“Throwing up?” tetíncho Yulian murmured in confusion. “He seemed fine earlier.”

“Maybe what he ate this morning didn’t sit well and is getting to him now. Anyways, is whatever it is urgent? I sorta forced him to take a nap so I don’t want to wake him to find out.” _An eternal nap but…_

“It was just something small. It can wait for another day, I guess.” Silence fell for a minute before tetíncho Yulian added “Andrey or Anka can bring by soup if he needs it. We have in the fridge.”

Definitely not. “Nah, don’t trouble them. I make a mean can of Campbells. I got it.”

Laughing, his tetíncho replied “Fair enough. Don’t get to close to him now or else it’ll be you bending over that toilet. Stomach flu is contagious as hell.”

“Trust me, I know,” Joseph laughed convincingly. Man, he was a good liar nowadays. He just murdered his father and here he was joking about soup and flu. “We’ll be fine and he should be up and running by tomorrow.” _Fingers crossed._

“Alright. Let me know if you guys need anything, okay?”

“’Kay. Bye.”

Closing the phone, Joseph took another deep breath. Step one completed successfully.

Now step two.

Get Emilio off his back.

Stepping carefully around the body, Joseph grabbed the house phone off his dresser. His body and face were throbbing like fuck but that’d all have to wait. Dialing Emilio’s apartment and praying his friend actually went home, Joseph listened to the dial tone as he waited impatiently.

Finally, the line opened. “Hello?”

“Hey, Linda,” Joseph said in faux cheer. “Emilio home? Kinda gotta talk to him.”

The line was quiet for a minute before Linda asked in confusion “I thought he was at your house?”

Fuck. That meant Emilio hadn’t gone home yet. Where the fuck had he gone?

Hopefully not Mr. Vidal.

“He was but he left and I forgot to tell him something. Guess he’s not home?”

“No- Oh, hold up, he just walked in. Gimme a sec.”

_Thank you God._

“Joseph?” It broke his heart when he heard the amount of worry in Emilio’s voice.

And the guilt.

That meant he hadn’t told anyone. Relief flooded him like nothing else.

“Hey, uh, can you go to your room and shut the door?”

“Already done. Is everything okay? Please tell me it is. I could throw up from how panicked I am right now. Please.”

 _I’m so sorry._ “Yeah, it’s…okay.” Joseph knew he needed to express the right amount of grief or Emilio wouldn’t believe him. That wasn’t too hard considering the thing on the floor beside him. “Um…could have been way worse.”

No, no it couldn’t have.

“Bad?”

“N-Not too bad,” he stuttered. He was about to bite his lip but stopped when he remembered how swollen they already were. The poor things didn’t need more abuse. “Lots of yelling. Lots. And uh…” Abuse needed to be thrown in.

Or else Emilio would never believe him.

“J-Just some hair pulling but that’s okay! Not bad considering, you know?”

Nerves were on high alert as he waited in the silence for Emilio to answer. Finally, Emilio replied in a whisper “I guess it could have been worse, yeah. Are you okay?”

A laugh wanted to erupt from him. He was so far from okay both physically and emotionally that it was hilarious. But all he said was “I-I’m good. But um…I think it would be best if you just…stayed away for a while. Just for now okay?” _Please say okay. Please don’t make this harder than it needs to be._

_Please Emilio._

Another silence came before Emilio’s guilt ridden depressed voice said “Okay… I’m so fucking sorry, Joseph. I should’ve never come over. I’m sorry.”

_Opening the phone while still wearing his smile, Joseph said in a posh voice “Hello?”_

_“Would this be the residence of Joseph Kavinsky?”_

_“It just might be for you, pookie.”_

_“Oh my fucking God, you bastard,” Emilio groaned. “Stop.”_

_“Emilio!” Joseph exclaimed in mock shock. “Don’t curse! For shame, dear!”_

_“Joseph, I’m going to punch you for real this time. That’s it. It’s gonna happen.”_

_“Puh-lease,” Joseph laughed with an eye roll. “I’ll believe it when I see it.”_

_“You will because school finished early today due to a big ass football game and I’m coming over. I call first player in whatever we’re gonna play.”_

_Talk about being lucky. “How about we take turns in GTA?”_

_Silence followed before Emilio replied “Pretty sure that’ll get us into trouble. I try to avoid that when I can.”_

_“Uhuh,” Joseph muttered while rolling his eyes. There were a thousand things they had done that had gotten them into trouble. Like that time they had broken the glass sliding door with a potato launcher they had built. They had forgotten to open the backyard door before prematurely launching a potato._

_Such geniuses they were._

_His mother had had a fit and his father had too._

_A fit of complete laughter. It took him probably ten minutes before he was able to stop. Joseph’s mother glared at his father the whole time, waiting for him to ‘grow the fuck up.’_

_“Well, see, what if I told you that my dad has a day full of work? Until way late at night.”_

_“Hmm,” Emilio thought aloud. “Well then I’d say I get to go first.”_

_Laughing, Joseph snorted “Fine. You first. But I just thought of something better.”_

_“Ah,” Emilio laughed and Joseph could imagine him nodding. “I bet this includes the switching of saliva.”_

_“Don’t describe kissing like that,” Joseph griped, “It makes it sound totally gross. Just get your ass over here.”_

“It’s not your fault,” Joseph whispered, feeling worlds of guilt for everything that happened today. “Don’t worry about it.”

“You sure you’re okay? Joseph…I know you’re not going to like what I’m going to say but…I don’t like the thought of you getting hurt-”

 _Too late for that._ “Just let it go, Emilio,” he sighed because Joseph knew what was coming.

“Can I please just say it? If not for you, then for my conscience.”

Joseph could definitely do that because he already knew what this phone call would be for them. Not that he’d tell Emilio. “Go for it.”

“You need to tell someone. Preferably my dad but if that doesn’t work for you then Ms. Nikol or Mr. Yulian. I don’t think they know what you go through and they should. It’s not okay what he does.”

“Emilio, if I told your dad, all I’d get out of it is my ass in foster care because they’d say my mom wasn’t good enough since she’s not doing anything. What good would that be for me? I’d never be able to handle it.” His aunt and uncle had occurred to him once but he dumped the idea in seconds. This was his problem. His father hitting him had never been a huge deal and it was something he could handle.

Well, besides for today.

“That’s unfair, Joseph,” Emilio replied, actually sounding annoyed. “He’d never do that to you. Ever. Either he’d make it where you’d be with Ms. Nikol and if you didn’t want that he’d take you himself. He’d do it in a heartbeat. Doesn’t matter how broke we are or how small our place is, he’d make a spot just for you. And you know that.”

They were words that Joseph actually believed. Mr. Vidal would stick his neck out for him. Glancing down at the body beside his feet, Joseph knew he could and should call the detective. He’d help figure it out. It’d be self-defense and Joseph would be fine. Emilio’s father would make sure of it.

Except Joseph wouldn’t actually be okay.

Because he’d forever live with the stigma that he killed his father. His aunt, uncle, and cousins would act like nothing happened, tell him that what he did was an accident. He had been afraid.

But they’d always look at him differently. No matter what.

And what about his mother?

Even if she brought it upon herself to forgive him, she’d never get over that he took away the man she had loved since her teens. Even if she acted like she did, it wouldn’t be true.

Because he took away the love of her life.

No, telling someone could never happen.

Ever.

“I’m fine and everything will be okay,” Joseph lied, even smiling despite both the physical and emotional pain that brought. “It’ll turn out fine, okay? Just-”

“Stay away for a while. I got it,” Emilio muttered in defeat and sadness. “I imagine that includes calls as well?”

“Yes, please.”

“’Kay,” Emilio murmured quietly. It hurt everything inside of him that he was causing Emilio pain but this was how it’d have to be.

Taking a worried breath, Joseph said “You need to swear not to tell anyone. Anything at all.”

Silence came from the other end of the line. Joseph knew that Emilio was dying to tell someone the truth. But Joseph couldn’t have that. “Emilio.”

“Fine…” Emilio whispered in complete defeat that didn’t suit him. “I swear.”

The amount of relief that flooded through him was immense. “Emilio,” Joseph whispered, “I love you, you know. Don’t ever forget it.”

“Jesus, don’t make it sound like this is the end,” his friend tried to laugh. “We’ll be fine. No worries.”

There was no ‘fine’ now. Not anymore. “I love you,” Joseph repeated with full conviction. His feelings needed to be told. Nobody would ever know or understand how much he loved Emilio but Joseph needed him to know.

Emilio was the only person in the world who ever understood all of Joseph’s cracks and broken pieces. All of his flaws, his issues, everything. And his friend had taken them all in stride, in eagerness, more than happy to show Joseph that it didn’t matter how much of a mess he was, he was still a human being just like everyone else. Deserved as much as they did because he was just as good as they were.

His friend was the only one who ever _would_ understand.

So he needed to know how much he had always meant to Joseph.

How much he truly loved him.

Joseph wasn’t sure if Emilio caught something in his voice or not but he whispered in an utterly broken tone “Love you too.”

They closed the phone.

And despite not saying the words, Joseph knew that they both knew it. Felt it.

It was the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')  
> Стринка (strínka) – a father’s brother’s wife


	172. Chapter 171

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> Snapshot is finally up! If no one remembers which this is, it was requested by Hatty to have Daniel's wedding in his pov. Hope you enjoy! It was totally weird writing happy when right now we're in an angst spree.
> 
> Dream world stuff will forever be confusing.  
> See you guys Tuesday
> 
> There's so little dialog in the next chpt and that was like the best quote I could pick lol  
>  _“Fuck. Off.”_  
> 

With his tracks now covered and his day free from inquisitive minds, Joseph moved to what had to happen next in his plan.

Body disposal.

Wiping his tears with the back of his hand and trying not to hurt his face too much, Joseph rerouted his brain to focus on the task at hand as he stared down at its body. He’d get maybe three chances because more than that would exhaust his brain and his forest. It was like a store in concept. Once you bought everything for that night, there was nothing left until the next day. Sometimes the next few days depending.

That was just how the dream world seemed to work.

Hopefully, he’d get it perfect the first time. And Joseph should.

He’d known this man and all his mannerisms his whole life. If he didn’t get him right then damn did his forgery skills suck balls.

That part should be simple. What he was a little worried about was the beyond the physical stuff. His father was most likely mentally ill; Joseph had no clue what it was like in his brain. Maybe if he knew what sort of disorder he had, it’d help but Joseph didn’t. How would he replicate the voices his father heard when Joseph didn’t even know who they were exactly and how they sounded?

He’d just have to worry about that part later. If he got down the physical correctly, then maybe the voices wouldn’t be such a big deal.

Which meant he had to strip the body. Because if anyone would notice an imperfection with the forgery, it’d be his mother who knew his father’s body as well as her own.

So it had to come out perfect.

Letting out a quick breath to prepare himself, Joseph stepped around the body to reach his bed. He didn’t want to touch without gloves so he took out his kit and slipped a pair on. Once he crouched down beside the body, he swallowed hard and took a deep breath. _You got this._

Rolling its body flat onto it’s back, Joseph avoided looking at the face and started to undress it. The face was ingrained in his mind easily; that wouldn’t be a problem. So he wasn’t going to waste the emotional energy that would be exerted to look into this dead man’s face.

And recognize it.

And have guilt crashing down on him all over again. Joseph needed his head about him to get it done in one perfect shot and he wasn’t going to screw up because he got emotional. Emotions were for idiots.

For fags.

And Joseph refused to be one. He had been confused this past year, that was all. Who was he kidding? A guy liking guys? How stupid could he get? Obviously, it wasn’t normal or okay or else God wouldn’t have made him kill his father over it.

This was a sign. Simple as that.

Fags deserved to burn in hell. And while Joseph would probably end up going to hell, it wouldn’t be for being a faggot.

No way.

Once he got the shirt unbuttoned, Joseph ran his hands along the ridges of its scars. Each one needed to be imprinted into his memory. If even a miniscule one was missed, he’d have to make another. So he was going to memorize the hell out of this body.

No matter how gross and weird and possibly perverted it might be that he had to check out everything.

Like _everything._

“You’re just a scientist, Joseph,” he murmured under his breath while feeling a bullet scar and trying to memorize its location. “Scientists and doctors do this easily. Just look, memorize, get it right.”

The less times he had to do this the better.

Joseph continued his work, systematically working his way down the body. Like a dork, he had actually blushed when he pulled down the pants and underwear. “Scientist and doctor,” he kept whispering to himself as he looked over its genitals. The mantra didn’t really help but he didn’t have time to be embarrassed or shy.

_Get this done._

Spending maybe a good half hour looking over the body again and again, Joseph finally stood, feeling that he was ready. But first things first.

The blood all over the place had to be cleaned up. Plus the vomit.

_Taking something from the forest would be faster and easier…_

“Okay,” he nodded, stripping off his gloves and dropping them on its body. “Let’s get this shit done.”

Getting onto his bed, Joseph steadied his breathing and heartbeat while softly closing his eyes. It felt like ages but, finally, sleep visited him from its palace. He was getting pretty good at mastering immediate arrival into the forest. It didn’t work all the time but thankfully it did today.

Sitting up from the grass of his forest, Joseph felt uneasy.

Something was off.

What, Joseph didn’t know but something definitely was. The place was quiet and just seemed so…

Eerie. Like something had happened and everything had changed.

Truly, something had happened.

And everything really had changed.

Joseph was a murderer.

“Stop!” Joseph shouted into the eerie silence. The silence was just putting pressure on his mind, forcing him to think about everything he didn’t want to. There were no birds to chirp, no squirrels chattering to one another, and there was no Diana.

Which was weird.

Everything just felt horribly wrong. He didn’t feel welcomed in his own mind.

Which was a very dangerous thing.

Taking a breath before he stood, Joseph glanced around for what he was looking for. The two bottles were sitting peacefully under a tree in the long soft grass, waiting for him.

Or so he thought.

Because the minute he tried to pick up one of the containers, the grass literally wrapped itself around his wrists as if trying to withhold or stop him.

It was like his mind was against him.

“Please,” he begged tiredly. “I don’t have time for this. I need this now. Please. Hate me later. Hurt me later. I don’t fucking care but I don’t have time right now.”

Something he’d never understand was how exactly the forest was merely him when he had literally just begged it to stop. Was he begging himself?

Why did his life have to be such a load of bullshit?

The forest relented after what felt like years to a very impatient and exhausted Joseph. The grass slipped away and allowed him to take what he needed. Begging once more to this freakish deity who was apparently himself, Joseph asked to wake up.

Thankfully he did.

Hopefully when it came time to drag his father out with him, the forest would be this kind.

Bounding out of his bed, Joseph grabbed a towel from his bathroom and drenched it with the liquid from the first container. This one was for the blood which was the most criminal aspect that needed to be wiped away. Starting with the walls and thanking God once more that he was now practically average height, Joseph scrubbed as hard as he could and felt a rush of relief when he noticed that the liquid crap was actually working even though it stunk like hell. For some reason, liquid stuff he brought with him always did. Although, he had only ever brought acid and cleaners so maybe something else would stink so bad. Adding more of the vile concoction to his towel, he started to scrub his dresser and the accompanying mirror.

“Okay,” he breathed, feeling the tiniest amount better now that there weren’t blood splatters all over his room.

Now he had to tackle the pool on the floor. And the throw up.

 _Throw up first,_ he decided silently. He wanted to put off dealing with the body as long as he could.

Going back to the bathroom, he grabbed another towel after tossing the current one into the garbage and doused it with the cleaner for his pile of vomit. Once he had taken care of that gross splatter on the floor, Joseph threw that towel away too. He needed as little connections to this incident as possible.

Through the process of this all, Joseph’s body was on fire, every limb throbbing and screaming in pain. His face felt like a balloon but all this time, he made sure not to look in the mirror. He didn’t need to deal with that right now. After. Once he fixed everything back to normal.

Then everything would be okay.

“Body time, Joseph.”

Walking back into his room, he grabbed his gloves off its body and took a quick breath before grabbing its wrists and pulling.

It was heavier than he thought.

But then there was a whole load of muscle and height so Joseph figured it was appropriate.

Pulling the load to the bathroom, he ignored the streaks of blood that followed them, the pool that had been beneath its head not yet dry. Reaching the shower was the greatest relief of his life as Joseph made sure his long limbs were all the way in. He closed the glass door once every part was in because it was easier when ‘out of sight, out of mind’ was happening.

Lying down on the floor as far away as possible from the blood all over it, Joseph yanked out his ‘biohazard’ kit from under the bed and opened it up. How many bottles of acid would he need for a body this size? The dream boy had needed three, although that could have just been overkill on his part. He hadn’t wanted a single strain of evidence to be left over.

Well he definitely didn’t want any now.

There were six bottles all nice and neat in their individual little cubbies.

Six it was.

He put on the new rubber gloves he had specifically dreamed up for acid use because they were way safer than wearing latex and carried the box to the bathroom with him. After opening the shower door back up, Joseph systematically popped off the lid of a bottle and dumped it along his fa-

“ _Its body_ ,” he corrected vehemently, shoving back down that ache and burn within him. “Its.”

The body began to pop and fizzle and Joseph watched as the acid did its work. It’d take longer than the animals and the boy obviously, but he figured no more than two hours.

Not too bad for a man this height and weight wearing his clothes.

Shutting the door once more, Joseph stripped off the rubber gloves, dropped them into the garbage, and washed his hands. Once he cleaned the blood off the floor, there’d be only one thing left to do.

That was where the tough part came in.

Dreaming.

And creating.

 

 

Once more arriving in his forest, Joseph still felt as if the place was unsafe.

Dangerous.

“Well, aren’t you?”

“Jesus fucking Christ!” Joseph yelped as he jumped from the sudden voice. Turning quickly, he found himself face to face with Diana. “The fuck is wrong with you?”

It was Diana but then…

It’s like it wasn’t.

She was herself, looked exactly the same but everything about her seemed different. Even the fucking air about her.

Which Joseph knew made no sense when put like that.

But there was truth to it even if words didn’t capture what he meant to say. Her eyes always had this glitter to them being all dragon and freaky that they were. The sparkle was usually a mixture of whatever emotion she was feeling and an underlying depth of danger. Sometimes the emotion was amusement, happiness, or just general good feelings.

All there was now was danger.

If that wasn’t worrying then the fact that she had her claws out was.

“Aren’t you?” Diana repeated while tilting her head in a way that made him think of the part in Jurassic Park right before the fat dude got eaten by the dinosaur. It had tilted its head in curiosity, examining.

Something Diana was doing now.

“Aren’t you, Joseph? Aren’t you? Answer me, silly child.”

It was as though she was angry. “I…I’m not…I…” _Didn’t mean too._

“Didn’t you, though? Deep down, Joseph, there were times where you hated him more than anyone and anything. Isn’t this simply you getting your wish?”

“No!” he shouted in frustration. He didn’t have any fucking time for this. For his emotions to come back and make him feel as horrible as he should after murdering someone. Joseph didn’t want to have to feel; it was a complete waste.

What the fuck did love ever do for him? Made him want things he couldn’t have, made him feel things that weren’t worth his breath.

Made him kill his father.

 _That_ is what love did for him. Such a fucking waste of time, effort, and life.

Love.

Bull fucking shit.

“H-He…I-I didn’t…” huffing on his onslaught of tears, Joseph plopped down onto the floor and cried. This wasn’t supposed to happen. None of this. They were having a fantastic time together and then his mother would be here the day after tomorrow and everything would be even better.

But no. Joseph had to go and fucking love.

Had to fall for a boy.

“I’m such a fucking faggot,” he whispered through his pain. “Fucking faggot.”

“Get up and stop wallowing like a bitch,” Diana snarled. “Get the fuck up. You have important shit to do.”

It wasn’t like Diana to be so angry and curse. Everything was just wrong.

Every fucking thing.

Wiping his face into his shirt, Joseph stood and inhaled a shaky breath. He had shit to do.

 

 

Jolting awake with a start, Joseph found himself on the floor beside his bed in a scene that had happened similarly not too long ago.

Holding a warm hand.

After having spent more than two hours in his forest perfecting his forgery, Joseph had finally felt satisfied with his work all the way down to every single scar, mole, and freckle.

Physically, this piece of work was perfect.

Mentally, he wasn’t sure. At least, not when it came to its mental state. Mannerisms and behaviors were going to also come out perfect.

Getting to his feet, albeit a bit shaky from exhaustion, pain, and just plain depression, Joseph stared down at the thing that was going to take his father’s place.

Perfect.

What had to happen now was that Joseph had to get the forgery out of his room fast before it woke. With animals, they were already awake but he noticed with people, it took a while longer or a command. He wasn’t sure which because when he had done the dream boy, Joseph hadn’t waited. He had awoken him immediately.

So Joseph wasn’t going to take any chances right now.

Grabbing the live wrists, Joseph dragged it to the door, stopping only to grab the gun off his dresser and drop it on its stomach. That had to come with them.

Dragging the forgery down the hall to his parents’ room, Joseph’s arms ached from all the exertion but he wasn’t stopping until his job was done. Once he and the body had finally reached the bed, Joseph used what very little strength he had left to roll it up unto the bed before he set the gun under his father’s pillow. It was the only place Joseph could think of that wasn’t too out of the box for his father to do.

Now the question at hand was whether he should let the forgery wake itself or if he should do the waking himself.

_Do it. The sooner everything goes back to normal, the better._

So he decided to wake him. Joseph would just make a mad dash out of the room. He needed to know if he needed to try again in making him as soon as possible.

With that decision made, he placed his hand on the forgery’s mouth and whispered “Wake up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')  
> Стринка (strínka) – a father’s brother’s wife


	173. Chapter 172

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> Two things about this chpt. It's apparently huge which I didn't expect (almost 4000) and it jumps povs so keep up lol  
> God we're so close to the END O.O  
> Enjoy! Thursday's is good and so unthanksgivingish with Vesela screaming at Ivo ;)
> 
> _“I hope you find it within yourself one day to regret what you’ve done. To beg him for forgiveness.”_

His mind was a complete mess.

And ached like fuck.

Sitting up and deciding that he had sat up way too fast according to his stomach, Ivo glanced around to take in his surroundings.

He was in his room.

But when had he gotten here?

All his thoughts and memories were in complete disarray. Ivo remembered coming home to grab something and he remembered the silence of the house. Walking up the stairs and thinking about shit and then…

Then he remembered Joseph and Emilio.

Involuntarily, he tensed and clenched a fist. He couldn’t help it. The only thing screaming in his mess of a brain currently was faggot in bright red flashing letters.

_Your kid’s a fag, Ivo. Lucky, lucky you._

Now what else did he remember?

Scrunching his brows in deep thought, Ivo considered this. There was throwing Emilio out, screaming at Joseph, and…

The beating.

“Jesus fuck,” he swore under his breath, rubbing his face with a hand. It wasn’t supposed to have gotten that out of control. It really wasn’t.

What was worse was that Ivo couldn’t even remember how badly he had beaten his child.

His fag.

_Stop. He’s your kid for fuck’s sake._

Yeah, who was a faggot. A fucking cocksucker.

“Stop,” Ivo muttered as he continued trying to collect his thoughts. So there was the hitting… plus kicking… then…

Then what?

Fuck if he could remember.

Lying back down, Ivo stared at the ceiling while trying to get his thoughts in order. When that didn’t work, he rolled over and stared at the loveseat in his room, resting a hand under his pillow out of habit.

Cold metal greeted him.

Frowning and sitting up, Ivo pulled out his gun. When had this gotten here? Why was it here? Or rather, why was it there? Under the pillow?

Ivo was dressed and yet in bed. With his gun under his pillow.

What the fuck had happened? He wouldn’t have randomly taken a nap out of nowhere. Especially today when they had a shit ton of work to do.

Examining the piece closely, Ivo noticed that a bullet was missing after taking out the clip and that the silencer had the very slightest residue along it. The gun had been fired recently.

But when? Ivo hadn’t used his gun in months, thank God. When the fuck did he fire off a shot?

“The fuck happened, Ivo…” Nothing was making sense right now. Gun, missing bullet, recently fired…

Panic struck through him. He didn’t did he? He sure as fuck wouldn’t, would he? Even in his anger?

Tumbling out of his bed because he was unsteady on his feet for some weird reason, Ivo dashed to his door and yanked it open, practically running to Joseph’s closed one. _Please God tell me I didn’t shoot my kid._

_Fucking please._

Knocking with a shaky fist, Ivo called “Joseph?” When no answer came, Ivo literally felt like his heart was going to erupt from his chest. “Joseph? Answer me…”

 

* * *

 

“…brat. Joseph?”

Shaking on his bed because all the guilt and grief was catching up with him – especially because his undead father was now outside his door – Joseph tucked himself further under his blanket. He was clutching his mother’s necklace tight, begging her to forgive him. She obviously didn’t know what had happened but the guilt was suffocating him and if there was one person he couldn’t stand losing, it was her.

There was no proof that anything had occurred though. His room was spotless like hell hadn’t come from down below and shat all over it and the shower was empty like nothing had ever been there.

But that didn’t mean that everything wasn’t still written in his mind.

“Brat, answer, please.”

The fact that the man who had beaten the fag out of him was using the endearing name he called him and saying please made Joseph feel even worse. How much memories would come back with his forged father, he hadn’t known but if he was panicking like his voice made it seem, it meant something.

His father remembered a lot.

However…if his father remembered and knew that he had beaten Joseph…why was he so concerned? Why did he have to act like he gave a fuck about his faggot?

It just made Joseph feel a thousand times worse.

He flinched when his father tried the doorknob even though there was no need. Joseph had locked it the minute he had ran to his room after commanding his forgery to wake. He even put a pile of books in front of the door, just in case.

“Joseph, I… just let me know you’re alive, please.”

Fine, he could do that. He might as well let this man know how much hate just welled into him, overpowering his grief. “Fuck. Off.”

Silence followed but eventually there came a same whisper. “Okay.”

Did that man think that Joseph killed himself or something? Why did he have such a sudden fear that Joseph was dead?

That man.

Not his father.

There was no way he could even bring himself to call him that anymore. To just think of him in that capacity. Fathers didn’t do the shit he did.

Despite all the guilt and grief he was feeling, hate eclipsed it all. Utter hate and fury.

Joseph tried not to do the whole hating thing generally but now he gave into it. Relished every ounce he was feeling.

For Ivo and himself.

 

* * *

 

He paced his room, still lost in his head. His legs were also still a bit shaky though the reason seemed to avert him. Not that that wasn’t weird apparently, because when he tried to remember anything past beating Joseph on the floor, nothing came up.

How Ivo got into bed, why his gun had been discharged, and anything of that sort were completely erased from his memories.

And that freaked the fuck out of him.

Joseph was alive, that was what was important. He hadn’t shot his kid.

But why had the gun been used? When?

Sighing heavily as he sat down on his bed, covering his face in his hands, Ivo didn’t know what to do. He fucked up bad, he knew that.

But his kid was a fag.

_A fucking faggot._

There was nothing he could tell himself that’d get him past that point.

Faggot, faggot, faggot.

Simple as that.

The anger was coming back up now that he knew he hadn’t killed Joseph. Blistering nasty anger directed at his fag. Why couldn’t he just be fucking normal? Why did he have to have so many fucking issues? Depression, anxiety, eating problems, suicidal…

And a fag.

Lucky him.

Why couldn’t he just have a normal son? Why did his have to be so fucked up?

He was waiting for one of the voices in his head to say the usual ‘maybe because of you’ but it never came. _What…?_

Why did it not come? It always came when he had thoughts like these.

Every single damn time.

For that matter, now that he thought about it and focused on listening to his mind…

There wasn’t a sound. At all.

What so ever.

Heart picking up its pace, Ivo uncovered his face and stared down hard at the floor, brows drawing in. Why was his head quiet? It hadn’t been fully silent in years.

_What the fuck is wrong with me?_

Ivo was almost tempted to laugh because he remembered asking himself that question at fifteen when the first voice made its presence known. One would think he’d be excited by the prospect of a silent mind. But truthfully?

It was scary. Because voices didn’t just disappear like that. Especially when they had been there when he stepped into the house earlier.

Something had happened. That was why he couldn’t remember and why his voices were suddenly absent.

For the life of him, though, he had no idea what.

And something told him the only one who knew was Joseph.

  

* * *

 

Something was wrong, Raul could feel it.

Emilio just wasn’t being…Emilio-ish.

Usually when Raul came home and they still had some sun, they’d play soccer in the street until either dinner was ready if they hadn’t eaten already or until the sun had set. So that was what he expected to happen today. It was their thing. Father-son time that they didn’t get often because of his job.

He knew something was wrong when Emilio stayed in his room, not even coming out to say hello when Raul had gotten home. The warning bells started flashing some more when dinner was put after he had changed into house clothes and Emilio hadn’t come out. When Raul wanted to go call him, Claudia silently shook her head.

If that wasn’t odd enough, when he called for him to come so they could play their game of fútbol, he got no answer. When he had knocked on the closed door, Emilio simply said “Not feeling it today, papi. Sorry.”

That was when he was officially worried.

And that was why he dragged Claudia into their room and shut the door. “What’s wrong with Emilio?”

Sighing and looking tired as she sat down on their bed, she replied “I have no idea. He got off school, was fine, went to Joseph’s, and then came back a nervous mess. And then he became a depressed wallowing mess after a phone call, according to Linda. He hasn’t left his room for anything since then. I tried talking to him but he keeps saying nothing. Won’t even let me in.”

Leaning on their dresser as he contemplated this, Raul figured that whatever had Emilio in a mood had to do with Joseph. That was the only thing that made sense. Did they break up maybe? It could be why Emilio would be so upset… but why would they? There was no good valid reason. For God’s sake, Emilio had told him Joseph had been wanting to have sex and that he was willing to agree once summer came around. They wouldn’t just randomly break up now. “Nothing else?”

“Nope. But maybe you’ll have better luck than I did. All I can think is that they had some fight but that’s it.”

Maybe. “I’ll go talk to him.”

Leaving his room and walking the short distance to Emilio’s, Raul wished his mother was here. She’d be able to get Emilio to say something. Or at least get into the room. She’d yell at Emilio in her weird sort of loving way and say he had no right to lock her out of her half of the room. “Mijo? Can I come in?”

There was silence for a couple minutes before the lock turned and Emilio opened the door, looking like he hadn’t left his bed since he came home. “Hi.”

“Can I come in?”

His son’s gaze examined him carefully before he murmured “I’m gonna go to bed actually. Sorry about missing our game but I’m just not feeling well.”

Now this was really weird. Especially because it wasn’t even late. Alondra didn’t even sleep at this time. “Can we talk until you fall asleep?” That was something they did often.

Emilio actually looked annoyed from his insistence. “I’ll drop off in seconds. Really tired. Not worth it and all, you know?”

 _What the hell?_ Quietly, Raul said “Emilio, if it’s something with Joseph-”

“It’s nothing,” Emilio cut in quickly with a firm tone. “I’m just not feeling well. Thank you for the concern.”

_Guess I can try again tomorrow…?_

Because everything was very obviously not okay.

“Alright,” he nodded, acting like nothing was amiss. Another plan already came into his mind anyways. “Get a good sleep.”

“Thanks.”

 

 

Locking his car before walking towards the stairs that led to Ivo’s door, Raul decided to try the other half of the relationship. Maybe Joseph would give in some information if he was lucky. Reaching the door, he rang the bell and waited.

And waited.

There were no cars on the street but if Ivo was already home, the car would be parked in the garage so Raul wouldn’t know if he was here or not. He rang the bell again but still had no answer. Maybe they went out for dinner or something? Ever since Vesela had gone to Italy, he knew Ivo was making the best effort he could with Joseph. He had even asked Raul what sorts of things he and Emilio did when it was just them.

When he still received no answer, Raul sighed while shaking his head, walked down the stairs, and back to his car.

Whatever was going on, hopefully it wasn’t horrible.

Depression looked terrible on his kid.

 

* * *

 

Glancing at his clock once more, Joseph just wished the sun would come up already. It was barely three in the morning and the faster the sun rose, the faster this new fuckish day would be over. He hadn’t moved from his spot under the blanket. He was even still clutching the charm of his mother’s necklace. The only thing that had changed was that Peanut joined him on his bed instead of staying in her own.

He hadn’t slept at all. Joseph would occasionally pop his head out from under his blanket to check the time and that was it. Hours ago, someone had rung the bell but he didn’t dare go see who it was. He didn’t think Ivo had either. The only time the man left the house that Joseph determined was when he went to park his car in the garage. That was it.

The monster was somewhere in the house.

Joseph didn’t think he had gotten any more sleep than Joseph had.

Letting out a pained breath because the attempt to get painkillers from his forest hadn’t worked, Joseph rested his head on his pillow and stared up at the ceiling. He didn’t know what was up with his forest but the place had changed.

It didn’t like him there anymore.

Or maybe it just didn’t like him at all.

_Peering through the grass and trying to find what he had come for, Joseph yelped in pained surprise when the grass suddenly became thorned vines and scratched his searching hands. Pulling his hands out, he stared down at the lacing cuts. “The hell?”_

_As if that wasn’t odd enough, there was this odd screeching noise that scared the shit out of him. It almost reminded him of how Diana sounded when she was a dragon._

_Was she a dragon now?_

_What the fuck was going on?_

He hadn’t known but Joseph didn’t want to take the risk of staying when he was hurt again as he had walked through the trees. Roots had literally curled around his ankles and dropped him hard to the dirt floor which had been grass only seconds before.

Was he being punished?

He didn’t know but he decided that he’d rather deal with his current pain than continue to gain new ones from a supernatural forest in his brain.

When getting pills hadn’t worked, Joseph had just grabbed his first aid kit from the bathroom and done the best that he could with what he had. All of this had been done before Ivo came dashing over to find out if Joseph was dead or not. It took a while for the forgery to wake up but at least he knew it was functioning correctly. It sounded like Ivo; acted like him too.

Although he still didn’t understand why the man had been so worried.

Maybe Joseph should have just died.

Dying.

That seemed so incredibly favorable right now.

Joseph had a variety of pills under his bed. None of them pain killers but different dream ones. Each color had an effect. They were all still being perfected but…

Maybe he should just end himself and get it over with.

It was an idea that Joseph was really liking right now. Something he was seriously considering doing up until he sat up and his mother’s necklace swung on his neck.

He had sworn to get it back to her. Maybe it wasn’t such a big deal to some people but Joseph had promised her. How horrible would he be to kill himself before she got to see him at least once more? If there was anyone to live for, it was her.

Plus, she had promised a night of movies, popcorn, and soda. They were supposed to enjoy their reunion. Was he really going to let Ivo take that away from them? From her?

 _But what if she doesn’t want a faggot?_ a small voice said to him. _Maybe she’s just like him._

Clutching the charm tight to the point that his nails were digging deep into his palms, Joseph murmured in reply “She’s not like that. She’s better than him.”

And if she wasn’t? Well then it obviously proved Joseph right in something he had thought and said time and time again.

He was a worthless piece of shit. Not worth loving, not worth wanting.

Joseph Kavinsky was a worthless faggot.

Now that he considered it, no matter how his mother turned out to be, it was the truth. There was no way around it. Just a worthless faggot. A piece of complete abusive manipulative shit not worth anyone’s time. Not even a stupid fucking forest he was supposed to be the God of.

Who was he kidding? There was no God. He didn’t fucking exist. Everything he had been taught, everything he went to church for?

All complete bullshit. There was no God, no righteousness, no good people. Everyone just used people for convenience. Used them up until they didn’t need them anymore.

That was true for everyone he knew. He was convenient and a friend or son or cousin or nephew until he wasn’t anymore. Yesterday had proven that. Joseph had faced the wrath of a monster all by himself. No one had helped him, no one saved him.

Reality was a load of empty useless bullshit full of fucking garbage people.

No one would ever be able to prove otherwise.

Because it was the truth.

He’d keep himself alive for now only because he had made his mother a promise. Joseph wouldn’t break it. Right now, that promise and her were his only reasons to live.

That was it.

There was no living for an aunt, an uncle, or his cousins.

No reason to live for a stupid fucking ex-boyfriend that ruined his life. Who left him behind.

The Joseph he had thought he’d drowned beneath his hate decided now was a great time to voice his opinion. _You told him to go. You wanted him to be safe._

“But who kept me safe?” he hissed in quiet anger. “No one.”

_That’s because you wouldn’t let anyone. You wouldn’t tell anyone about the hell you live in._

“Shut up,” he mumbled miserably. “Just shut the fuck up.”

There had been no one to tell. No one would have helped him. His mother proved that.

_You know that’s not true. Everyone would have helped you._

Dropping his head into his hands, Joseph cried out his frustrations in silence. It was too late to get help. It was too late for anything and everything.

He was a murderer. He was abusive. He was a horrible worthless piece of faggot shit.

It was over. This was who he was. Who he had always been but tried to bury under a façade of normal.

This whole time, he had tried to be simply Joseph. Joseph Kavinsky, this normal nerdy smart kid who had a pet cat. But who was he kidding? Not himself anymore, that was for sure. Not the forest because obviously it was onto him. Onto the farce he had been playing his whole life.

What he was and always had been was a cruel motherfucker that he thought he could hide from the world. From everyone that mattered. But who mattered? No one except maybe his mother. Not another single soul did. Because he had never mattered to them.

That was why he had always faced the monster in the other room by himself all these years. But who was he trying to fuck by all this talk? It was obvious.

Joseph was exactly like that monster. Like all the monsters that came before that one.

A Kavinsky. That’s what he was, who he was.

Kavinsky.

And Kavinsky didn’t sit here and cry like a bitch. He tore down whoever talked shit about him, ruined whoever tried to think they were above him.

Hurt whoever got in his way.

Would Joseph ever want things to be that way?

_No, no I wouldn’t. I never wanted to be him._

But Kavinsky embraced it. Because that was the strongest form of armor against this cruel world.

And if he was going to get stuck facing it because he didn’t want to disappoint the beautiful woman coming home tomorrow – the only person in this world who mattered – then he’d need it.

The strongest armor to make sure no one ever tried to break him down again. He had hit the lowest point he could ever get yesterday. There was nothing lower than facing the monster’s rage, being beaten, and then becoming a murderer.

Evolution had happened whether he liked it or not. And while he hated every inch of his being like everyone else, Kavinsky would take advantage of this evolution.

Take advantage of everything he was now.

He still feared Ivo, that wasn’t going to change. Hell, he was more afraid than he had been before. Avoiding him was what needed to happen. But he wasn’t going to be a mouse in his own home. Or at least not entirely. This was his house; his entire life had happened here.

Ivo wasn’t going to take that away from him.

Hell came down on him with full force yesterday.

But instead of falling like he should have, like everyone wanted because the world was against him, he rose up. His mind rewired and knew that being Joseph was such a waste of complete time unless his mother was on the receiving end.

Only her. Because he didn’t need anyone else.

Kavinsky didn’t need a single shitty other person than her.

Not a single one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')  
> Стринка (strínka) – a father’s brother’s wife


	174. Chapter 173

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> Week from today and we'll be done...that's so crazy. Still can't get over it.  
> Happy Thanksgiving! I'm thankful for each and every one of you guys!
> 
> Enjoy and I'll see you guys Sunday.
> 
> _“There’s no me and Emilio anymore.”_

The plane trip back had been horrible unlike when they had gone which had been completely amazing. Vesela and Nikol ended up getting split up on different planes for the trip back because of some stupid ass shit called overbooking or whatever. She didn’t get how exactly it worked but it sadly happened.

And unlucky for her, she got the later plane.

So while her sister had probably landed and was currently on her way back to Jersey with her husband and kids, Vesela was barely coming out of the arrivals terminal. Nikol had told her she would wait for her but Vesela knew how bad the longing to be home was. She wasn’t going to stall her sister. It wasn’t a big deal really; she’d get private time with her men this way anyways.

Waiting as her phone booted up, Vesela glanced around to see if she could see Ivo and Joseph. Her heart was skittering in excitement at the prospect of seeing them, especially her baby. She hadn’t realized how horrible it’d feel knowing she was enjoying a vacation without them.

Joseph had played the guilt trip better than she had thought. But she had made sure to bring back the promised bag of souvenirs that she was sure he would love.

God, she couldn’t wait to see his adorable face.

But her skittering excited heart stopped in confusion when she only saw Ivo. Granted, she was more than excited to see her handsome husband but she didn’t understand why he was alone. It wasn’t like Joseph had school or something today.

Nonetheless, she wore a huge grin of happiness and ran over to him in excitement, hugging him tight when she reached him. Ivo wore his own smile although for some reason she felt like something was bugging him because it didn’t quite meet his eyes. They didn’t sparkle in that way of Ivo smiles. “Hey, love,” she laughed after they kissed. “Wonderful to see your sexy face.”

“I could say the same,” he smirked in that cheeky way of his. How he was so freaking good-looking always amazed her. Sounded stupid, yes, but it was true.

“Where’s my adorable little boy?” she asked curiously as they walked hand in hand to baggage claim. “I was expecting him with you.”

Maybe she was mistaken but she felt like he tensed or something. But why would he? Hopefully their two weeks had gone well. From the phone calls, they had made it sound like they had. “He wanted to set up something or something like that. Surprise maybe.”

That was the shittiest lie she had ever heard in her life. And she knew Ivo could do a thousand times better than that. But she accepted it regardless; she’d just see Joseph when they got home. Hopefully the traffic wasn’t too bad right now because she didn’t have much patience left.

 

 

“Joseph!” Vesela called excitedly as she literally bounded into house. It was quiet but maybe he was waiting upstairs? Weird but possible. “Baby, I’m home!” Ivo followed behind her, dragging in her bags before shutting the connecting door. The traffic hadn’t been horrible but not easy driving either. At least they were home now. “Joseph!” she called again as she yanked off her shoes and bounced up the stairs. Vesela was literally giddy with excitement like a child for God’s sake.

She was just dying to see him. They had talked everyday but it wasn’t the same.

Rushing into his room, his door wide open, she came to an abrupt halt when he walked out of his bathroom. He looked as surprised as she did as he whispered “Thought I’d get another maybe twenty minutes. Guess traffic wasn’t bad?”

If he thought she was going to talk about traffic right now, he was out of his fucking mind. Had he gotten jumped or something? He was a God fucking mess. His right eye was swollen and bruised, his lips the same along with his right cheek. Even his hair was a complete wreck. If she were to guess, she’d bet under his clothes was something similar. Especially from the way he walked over to her, pain in every step.

Dragging her into a tight hug, he murmured “I missed you so bad, mayko. Welcome home.”

Hugging back in an almost robotic motion because she was still in complete shock, Vesela whispered “Good to be back, sweetheart.” Pulling away just a touch to get a good look at him, she asked “Joseph, what the hell happened?” The bruises looked barely a couple days old, no more than that.

Joseph jaw clenched and she was shocked by the flash of anger going through his eyes. It was hateful and raw, something she’d only seen in Ivo when he was faced with someone he despised.

Or when he was talking about Yosef.

However, what shocked her more was when Joseph’s gaze flicked over her shoulder.

And she turned to find Ivo standing in the doorway, leaning against the frame, hands in his pockets. He had a brow raised as if daring her to ask.

Turning back to her child, she smiled and kissed his cheek, happily noting her necklace still around his neck. “Be right back.”

He shrugged like he didn’t care but she could read the hidden depths of relief in his eyes like it was a test to see if she cared enough.

Had it been?

Vesela would think on that later.

Making sure she purposefully bumped Ivo on her way out, she walked to her bedroom and waited for her husband to join her before slamming the door shut. “What the fucking hell.”

Hands still in his pockets as he walked over to the bed before sitting, he merely asked “What.”

“What?” she hissed in fury, not being able to contain it anymore after what she just saw. “You dare ask me what when I just saw what I saw? Was able to tell without him even speaking that he blames you?”

“Ves-”

“Shut the fuck up,” Vesela snarled, her fists clenched tight by her sides as she approached him. “Did you do that to him?”

Sighing, Ivo tried again. “Ve-”

“Yes or no, Ivo.”

He paused before murmuring “Yes.”

Obviously she had known that was the answer after Joseph’s accusing glance but she was still stilled by her surprise. “What the hell, Ivo,” she whispered in her shock. “How could you? What in the hell could possibly make you-”

Ivo cut her off with challenging eyes. “Your kid is a fag.”

Her kid. As if he wasn’t his anymore.

But this wasn’t news to her. She’d guessed about his sexuality since Joseph was eight. Had been reading and researching since she had suspected because she wanted to understand how someone was gay. How a gay person realized their feelings and what those feelings were. Vesela had read literally hundreds of books and articles over the years, trying to get a grasp on the whole thing.

And through all this reading and studying, she realized something.

That she didn’t care.

If Joseph wanted to love boys, then he could love boys. As long as this boy was everything that Joseph needed and loved him the way he deserved, Vesela was down.

She didn’t care.

“He’s not a faggot,” she said in a firm voice, raising her chin in defiance. That word was wrong to use and hell if she was going to let Ivo throw it around at her baby. “He’s gay.”

Now it was Ivo’s turn to be surprised. His eyes literally lit up in confusion and his head flinched back from his shock.

Then accusation took over.

“You knew,” he hissed as he stood, anger now contorting his features. It probably bothered him that she had kept this from him. She didn’t know why though, it wasn’t like he would have been any happier hearing it years ago. “You knew he was fag, didn’t you?”

“I know that my son is _gay_. I’ve known that my son is gay since he was eight, Ivo.” Suspected but it was all the same.

With those words, Ivo looked even more furious. “You say it like it’s something to be proud of. As if him being a fag is something that needs celebrating. Why don’t we go walk in a fucking pride parade while we’re at it?”

If Joseph wanted that of her one day, she’d probably actually do it. Especially now. “Stop saying that word.”

“Faggot, Vesela. Joseph is a fucking faggot! And you’re acting like it doesn’t even matter!”

Because it didn’t. “Don’t yell at me.”

“Don’t yell at you! Don’t yell at your fucking stupidity? Is that it?” Laughing that sarcastic laugh of his that she hated, he added “How can’t I? LISTEN TO YOURSELF!”

“Listen to yourself!” she screamed right back. Her voice could get as loud as his and hell if Vesela wasn’t going to use it right now. “You beat the fuck out of him because he’s gay? WHO GIVES A FUCK! MY SON IS GAY, WORLD!” Vesela threw her hands up as if decreeing a revelation, “I, VESELA KAVINSKY, GAVE BIRTH TO A GAY! AND I DON’T GIVE A FUCK!”

Ivo was now looking at her like she sprouted three heads or something. “Seriously? Vesela, what the hell?”

“WHAT THE HELL YOURSELF!” Vesela yelled at the top of her lungs. “YOU DISGUSTING PIECE OF SHIT! YOU BEAT MY CHILD!”

“HE HAD HIS TONGUE SHOVED DOWN EMILIO’S THROAT. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU WANT ME TO DO?”

Emilio.

Yeah, she saw that coming.

“What the hell are you supposed to do,” she snarled back. “Nothing, Ivo. I don’t give a fuck if he loves boys-”

“WELL I GIVE A FUCK!” He was red faced, fury blazing throughout. It was such an ugly look on him. “I’M NOT HAVING A SON WHO’S A FUCKING COCKSUCKER!” Walking so he was face to face with her while pointing his finger, Ivo said “Listen, Vesela. Find somewhere, I don’t give a shit where, some school or some shit, but he needs to get the hell out of my house. I refuse to have a faggot in this house.”

She didn’t know whether she wanted to cry or just preferred to laugh at how easily her life just fell apart in a matter of seconds.

Also at his stupidity. His stupidity that he actually believed that she was going to keep herself and her baby in this house after he beat him black and blue. They didn’t need him to throw them out.

But it was nice knowing how he felt.

The minute she had seen Joseph, Vesela knew that they weren’t staying, whatever Ivo’s wishes were.

“I want to tell you congratulations,” she laughed, the tears brimming in her eyes because she couldn’t keep them in any longer. Who would have imagined what this day would bring? Not her, that was for sure. She was supposed to be home and they were all supposed to have fun and be happy.

How wrong her imagination was.

The anger dimmed for a minute and Ivo looking completely confused. “For what?”

“For officially becoming everything you hated in your father. Everything you swore you’d never be or do. That’s it, Ivo, you’ve officially reached Yosef level. There’s nothing left. The line that was keeping you from him has now been officially erased. So congratulations. Guess you’re finally making him proud now, huh?”

Hurt flashed through his eyes. She was the only one in the world that he had told the extent of how horrible his father had been. The beatings when the man was in a bad mood or the slew of words that could cut better than any knife. The hate that Ivo had been able to feel come off him in waves when he hadn’t even done anything. Not to mention the constant disappointment he made Ivo feel like even when he worked hard and achieved something.

The only one who knew and here she was using it against him.

Good.

“You don’t mean that,” Ivo whispered, pain and hurt toning out the usual sparkling beauty of his eyes. Vesela could tell that he was running through his own memories of his father and comparing them to everything he had ever said or done to Joseph.

He saw the connection as much as she did now.

“I do,” she nodded. She didn’t like causing him pain but he needed to hear it, needed someone to just open his stupid eyes and make him see. “And I know you see it. Do you regret it? I don’t know, Ivo, I really don’t. But God knows I truly hope you do because I love you and always freaking have no matter what. Even times when I really shouldn’t have. Even when people told me how stupid I was for loving someone who was so good at hurting me with just words and twice with more than that.”

Worry and panic were starting to show on his face, in his body language. Her husband was a brilliant man.

He knew what was coming.

Probably the most surprising thing to her right now was the fact that she wasn’t bawling her eyes out. That the tears just held in their place.

But maybe it was because she was doing this for Joseph.

“While I came back to you even though you hurt me – twice – there’s a line I draw. And that line comes to Joseph. You beat my child black and blue, Ivo. Black and fucking blue that if I weren’t his mother, I probably wouldn’t even be able to find his adorable face in there. This wasn’t punishment and even if it was, it goes so far past any sort of acceptable one. That was just pure abuse. And maybe I’m stupid enough to come back and stay when it’s done to me but I’m sure as hell smarter when it comes to my son.”

“Vesela, wai-”

“Let me finish,” Vesela interrupted. There were no words he could use that would make her change her mind right now. But that didn’t mean she wanted to hear them. “So while you don’t want a faggot in your house, it doesn’t matter anyways. Because the minute I saw him, I already made my choice. Knew what I had to do to at least try and give my _gay_ son a better shot at life. Will it work? I don’t know. Maybe I’m making a mistake, maybe I’m not. Maybe it’ll make things a thousand times worse. Maybe I’m already too late. But I won’t know unless I try.”

Ivo didn’t want to give her any more time to finish what she had to say. Much like he had when he came to Nikol’s house the day after he had beaten her for being pregnant, he dropped to his knees in front of her.

Begging.

“Vesela, please don’t do this. Please, I am begging you. I’m so fucking sorry, I swear to fucking God. Pleeeaasssee. I was just angry a-and it got out of hand. I know that. I’m sorry, I swear. He can stay! You can stay! Just please, please, don’t go. I can’t live without you.”

The begging was sweet, his eyes open and sincere but they’d do him no good. He wanted her, not his son. If that would ever change, really, who knew. Maybe it would when Ivo got over it and realized what he was losing by hating his son. But them staying would do no good until that point. Because then all Joseph would feel is that he was living in a hate filled home, constantly on his toes to avoid his homophobic father.

Maybe when they made amends with another, a true and honest reconnection, they’d come back.

But until that time came, she wasn’t going to make Joseph live in hell anymore.

Crouching down and holding her husband’s panicked face in her hands, she whispered “I’m sorry, Ivo. I truly am. But I need to do what’s right for my baby. And that right now is getting him out of the hell you created with your hate. We’re going to stay only until I get everything figured out and when we go, you need to let us go. Promise me.”

Vesela could tell how badly he didn’t want to make that promise. But Ivo lived by them because every promise anyone besides his mother had made him had always been broken. Every time. “Promise,” his broken voice came as he stared down, his lip quivering as he tried not to cry. “I’m so sorry, Vesela.”

“You’re sorry for losing me, Ivo, but not for losing your son. You’re going to feel that loss hard even if you don’t think so now. But trust me, once you’re in this empty house alone, you’ll regret every sin you committed against that beautiful boy. You’re going to wish you guys still had your good times together – the laughs, the love. You’re going to wish everything was back the way it was. And all of that could’ve stayed the same if you’d just accepted how he loves.”

“Simple as that, huh,” he murmured in a broken whisper. “Just accept that I have a son who likes dick.” Raising his head and looking hopeful, Ivo asked “Would that make you stay?”

“I know you’re not that dense. And I’m not stupid to suddenly think that you accept him.”

Lowering his head once more, he mumbled “It was worth a try.”

Shaking her head at his stupidity but hugging him close, she whispered “I hope you find it within yourself one day to regret what you’ve done. To beg him for forgiveness.”

“Beg him,” Ivo echoed with a laugh.

“Don’t be stupid. You saw the hate in his eyes as much as I did. You may think you don’t care right now but you will.”

He would big time.

Ivo just didn’t realize it yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')  
> Стринка (strínka) – a father’s brother’s wife


	175. Chapter 174

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> So new Snapshot! Requested by my bro who actually sneaks into the comments just because. Both times he tried, I sniffed him out in seconds ;) Anyways go read about Daniel meeting the in-laws for the first time! My bro was really interested in how Chaerin's mother was like because she came off as partially judgmental lol  
> Snapshots for anything are always open, don't forget! Also if you asked and it hasn't been mentioned, it means I forgot. Remind me.
> 
> Timeline in case anyone is lost here at the very end (1 chpt and the epilogue left!)  
> April 2010  
> Joseph: 14 (15 in June)  
> Vesela: 38 in Oct  
> Ivo: turned 41 in March  
> Nikol: 40 in Aug  
> Yulian: 44 in Sept  
> Andrey: turned 16 in March  
> Anka: 14 in Sept  
> Albena: 5 in July  
> Timotei: turned 2 in March (messed up his age in a chpt)  
> Raul: 40 in like a week  
> Claudia: 42 in July  
> Maria: 22 in couple days  
> Alicia: turned 19 in Jan  
> Linda: 17 in May  
> Emilio: turned 15 in Jan  
> Alondra: 7 in Sept  
> Ivet: turned 18 in Jan
> 
> Think that's everyone! List is long, I know. Sorry.  
> Enjoy today and see you guys Tuesday!
> 
> There's no dialog in the next chpt O.O  
> It's super short but don't worry the epilogue is super long so you'll enjoy Thursday

He hadn’t expected them to get back so soon. That hadn’t been a joke. Joseph had been planning on making himself a little more presentable for her return. Find some way where maybe the bruises and swelling didn’t look so horrible. Ice his face maybe?

Oh well.

It was frustrating that he didn’t get to go get her from the airport with Ivo but Joseph wasn’t willing to put himself in the car for a drive to Queens with that man. Instead, he had made sure the house was nice and clean and fixed up his room a bit for their movie night. He wanted her to relax, not have to clean and stuff when she got home.

Currently, he was in the guest/entertainment room downstairs picking out random shit for them to watch. His pile included both cartoons and live action movies. A good mix, he figured. Temptation to listen in on his parents’ conversation had occurred but ultimately Kavinsky decided fuck it. Although, Joseph had secretly been excited when his mother had screamed that she didn’t give a fuck that he was gay. Deep down, he had always had a feeling that she knew.

And, well, apparently she had.

Where their lives would go after this, he had no idea. Nor did he really care. As long as he had that raging woman on his side not Ivo’s, Kavinsky was perfectly fine.

Joseph, however, wished he could have both.

But Joseph was an idiot and that was why life was the way it was.

So he needed to shove it and go back to being buried deep down in Kavinsky’s black bottomless soul.

Once he had picked out the movies he wanted and jacked Ivo’s laptop from his office, Kavinsky made his way back up to his room, noting that the yelling had stopped but the door down the hall was still closed. _Whatever._

Quietly shutting his door, he dropped his haul onto his bed and wondered if his mother would be down for starting early. They had nothing else to do today anyways. He knew that they had all said they’d do dinner together when his mother and tétka came back but Joseph knew there was definitely no family dinner happening anytime soon.

There came a quiet knock on his door before his mother asked “Can I come in?”

“Sure.”

Walking in with a smile and shutting and locking the door behind herself, she walked over and squished him into a tight hug. It made his body flare up in pain but he didn’t care. He needed this hug. “Missed you so much,” she whispered.

“Me too,” Joseph mumbled into her shoulder. He wasn’t going to be a jackass to this amazing woman. “You have no idea.”

“I’m so fucking sorry, baby.”

“Don’t be stupid,” he snorted as they broke their hug and Joseph dragged her to sit with him on the bed. “It’s not your fault in any way, mayko.”

He could tell that the guilt was eating her alive but she smiled and nodded regardless. “Still sorry. So, uh, I’m thinking…maybe we should…move out. What do you think?”

Move out. He swore he wasn’t going to let that man throw him out of his home. “We?”

“Me and you,” she answered as they scooted more onto the bed so they could sit comfortably on it with Peanut joining them seconds later. “Maybe it’s time we gave it a shot on our own.”

“So your piece of shit is throwing me out?”

Joseph had to hand it to her, she hid her surprise pretty well at his tone and language. “He tried but I already decided that I wasn’t going to make you live in hell.”

Funny that she only realized this house was hell now. But considerate of her nonetheless. “Ah. No offense, mayko, but going to live with tétka isn’t really favorable. She’s great and all but I’m not spending my life with them.”

“I agree,” she said to his surprise. “We can’t have a life by putting ourselves in someone else’s. So I thought maybe we’d get ourselves a house or apartment. Just us.”

That sounded pretty awesome actually; it sounded like having a life. “That’s not bad actually.”

Looking relieved at his agreement, she hugged him close before saying quietly “Joseph…where do you and Emilio stand right now?”

The question was surprising but he answered anyways. Besides for his dream powers, there were no secrets between them anymore. There was nothing left. “There’s no me and Emilio anymore.”

Two things that Joseph didn’t expect happened. One was that he didn’t expect that those words would hurt so bad. It literally felt like his heart was ripped up into thousands of pieces. The past couple days, he had been working on demolishing all his feelings, especially any that stemmed from his faggot side that he was erasing.

Obviously he still needed to do some more demolishing and erasing.

The other thing was that his mother seemed upset by the news. Like she didn’t want that to be his answer. “Oh…I’m sorry, baby.”

“Doesn’t matter,” he shrugged almost without a care. “It was a waste of time.” His mother looked like she wanted to disagree but he cut in before she could speak. “Why?”

“Well,” she sighed like she wasn’t happy on not pursuing the topic, “I was wondering how upset you’d be if maybe instead of the regular public high school, you’d go somewhere else. Your tétka gave me all these brochures and packets she and Andrey had been looking at a couple months ago but I put them away thinking that you’d never want that.”

Had she asked when she had first gotten those, then yeah, he would have been upset because him and Emilio had been waiting forever for them to go to the same school.

Now?

Now Joseph wanted to get as far away from everyone as possible.

“I don’t mind,” he answered. “As long as it’s not the same schools as Andrey and Anka. I want to be away from everyone.”

His mother didn’t seem to like that answer either but she nodded. “Okay. I’ll take them out and we’ll take a look. Hopefully some places still have their enrollment open.”

“Fingers crossed.” If they didn’t then they’d have to rethink their plans. “Um, mayko?” She hummed to let him know she was listening. “Uh…are you…are you gonna divorce him?”

Neither the question nor the way he didn’t want to say ‘tatko’ was a surprise to her. “Do you want me to?”

Surprisingly…no, he didn’t. He had already killed her husband not to take him fully away from her. And maybe deep down, Joseph still had that stupid part of him that hoped everything would get fixed. That just maybe…maybe Ivo would want him again.

Was it a stupid thought? Yeah, yeah it was. But Joseph wanted it to be true one day.

Maybe one day.

But instead of saying all of this out loud, Joseph simply asked “If I said yes, would you?”

“Yes.”

He had to admit that he was a bit shocked because Joseph actually believed her. Her eyes were clear and firm, mouth set in determination.

She’d do it for him.

But she’d hurt like hell.

And Joseph didn’t want to do that to her.

Setting his head into her lap carefully to make sure his bruises didn’t hit, he murmured “Thank you but I’m not asking that.”

Hand brushing through his hair very carefully after she found the first scab, she questioned “Are you sure?”

“Yes. Thank you though.” Sighing, his eyes caught on his pile of movies. “Do you want to start movie night early?”

“Whenever you’re ready! I’ll grab the snacks and you set everything up. Sound good?”

Nodding into her lap, Joseph said with a weak smile because what happiness was, he had no idea anymore “Yeah, great.”

 

* * *

 

For the past five days, Raul had been trying to find out what was wrong with Emilio.

And for the past five days since his son’s depressed mood started, he found out nothing.

Some detective he was.

He had at first figured that maybe Emilio left his room whenever either he or Claudia were out of the apartment to make sure he didn’t run into them and their concern. With this thought, he had planted his amazing spy and eavesdropper Alondra to figure stuff out for him while he was gone.

Their conclusion, however, had been wrong.

Emilio left his room for nothing. They couldn’t even get him to go to school when the weekend had finished so they had called to check him out for the week.

Raul and Claudia were out of ideas.

_“He won’t eat, Raul,” Claudia said worriedly as they got ready to sleep. “I can’t get him to come out at all.”_

_“Did you try just putting him food in front of his door?”_

_Looking at him like he was an idiot, she replied “We want him to come out, not encourage him to stay in.”_

_It was a good point but… “Wouldn’t it be better if we know he’s getting food in his system and then worry about the rest?”_

So that was how it became to be that one of the girls would put food in front of their brother’s door. Everyone had to make sure they were away from the hallway before Emilio would actually open the door and take it. At least he was nice enough to call out a quiet ‘thank you.’

The food never got finished. Only ever half would be eaten and the rest would be left sitting on the plate. But it was something which was better than nothing.

The day after Raul had gone to Joseph’s the first time, he tried again but still received no answer. He had tried calling throughout the day but his calls went ignored when he called the house. Trying Ivo’s cell had gotten him the same results the day after that. At first, he attributed it to Vesela coming home and they were busy celebrating or something.

But the day after that was the same.

Which was why today, he was trying something else.

He glanced up when his coffee ‘date’ came walking over to the table, settling down into the chair before leaning his cane on the wall beside them. “Yulian.”

“Raul,” Yulian replied with a smile while getting comfortable. “Where’s my coffee?” Raul pointed to the waitress coming over to them. “Oh. Can I get just get a black coffee, please?”

“My pleasure,” she smiled before walking off.

Resting back into his chair, Yulian asked with a raised brow “So what’s up? Admit it, this is strange.”

“I admit it,” he answered with a shrug. “But I have questions and you’re the only person I can think of asking.”

“What kind of questions?”

Best place to start was to find out if there were any family problems before delving into Emilio’s depression. “Ivo been different the past few days?”

Raul knew he was onto something when Yulian’s eyes became guarded. “Why do you ask?”

“Because he won’t take my calls. And when I go to the house, no one answers. They won’t even take my house calls. He and Vesela having problems again or something?” That wasn’t really what he thought it was because Emilio didn’t fit into that occasion but it was something he could try and test.

Sighing, Yulian shook his head. “I honestly don’t even know what is going on. He’s been acting tense and he’s so fucking touchy. You say one word, even if it’s a joke, and he blows. He’s angry and hurting from something but he won’t tell me. I tried asking but the last time I asked, he said he’d kill me if I asked again. No idea if he’d actually do it but…” Shrugging, Yulian finished “You never know.”

Nodding because it didn’t answer shit, Raul tried to think as Yulian accepted his coffee. “Guess Nikol doesn’t know anything either?”

The mobster shook his head once more. “She went over yesterday because they canceled our dinners together twice already. Supposed to be a family thing ‘cause everyone’s home again, you know?” Raul nodded. “They won’t come and they don’t seem to be inviting either. So she went, came back, I asked how was it, what’s new and shit, she says nothing.”

“Nothing. Just nothing?”

From Yulian’s face, Raul knew that the man didn’t believe his wife. “All she’d say. Said everything’s fine and that they’re just enjoying ‘them’ time.”

“You don’t believe that though.”

“Fuck no. Either she’s lying to me or they hid whatever it is so well that she just didn’t notice.” Looking conflicted, Yulian added “I wanted to go myself today maybe but… Ivo would have my ass.”

 _Especially because there really is something wrong._ “Any hunches on what it might be?”

“I wish. Everything was fine, great actually. So I have no idea what the fuck is going on.”

_Me neither. I thought it was something between Joseph and Emilio but if Ivo’s pissed, where does he fit in?_

Raul’s heart dropped even further than his stomach.

Unless…

 

* * *

 

Was this really it? How could it be?

Joseph didn’t know.

These thoughts came to his mind as he checked over his bags one last time. They were to leave tomorrow morning and the rest of their stuff would be shipped after them to the new house in some shit town named Henrietta. All of his stuff was packed up and labeled in boxes. Well, not everything but the stuff he thought he couldn’t survive without, like his books and his model cars. His stuffed animals too even though he had outgrown them. But they were a part of him, so they got to come. Raine with an ‘e’ and Lady Calico were left behind though. Joseph loved them but they were gifts from Ivo and anything to do with that man was left behind.

That sadly meant his Warrior books; some others that Ivo had bought him over the years too. Maybe he’d just buy new ones once he got to Henrietta.

The name of the town was genuinely terrible and the fact that he actually couldn’t find much on the place told him it must be miniscule compared to Hoboken.

But that was where home would be for now.

Or at least for the next four years.

Picking a new school hadn’t been exciting at all. There were very few that still had open enrollment and even fewer that appealed to him. Technically, Aglon whatever didn’t appeal to him either but it was the better choice of two others. Sadly, they didn’t have a baseball team which meant he was losing out on the sport he loved. But it was pretty much an Ivy league high school which meant that at least he wouldn’t lose his education. He’d still live his dreams just to prove that he could do something for himself. Going to a school where if you had lower than a B average you got kicked out sounded like a place that’d challenge him well.

So he went for it. It was a boarding school but his mother was coming with him because it was ‘them against the world’ according to her. So they’d stick together no matter what. They hadn’t even looked at the house she bought. She just saw the real estate pictures and said ‘fuck it.’

The woman had literally made them a new life in the matter of a few days. But then, she was the one who booked a whole cottage vacation in less than an hour.

His mother was a fucking magician.

The school was in Virginia which sucked but worked for his whole ‘get away’ thing. It was away from everyone he knew, everyone he needed to just get away from.

Maybe he’d actually be able to start over.

But did he want that? What had life and friends done for him? Not much, if he was honest. So why should he bother trying to make it new in Henrietta? Why should he bother trying to make friends? He had his one best friend all these years and look what good that had gotten him.

No, what he needed wasn’t friends and a new life. What he needed was to prove that he couldn’t be shat on. He had faced a monster and was left standing. Unless he killed himself, no one could take him down.

Henrietta would have Kavinsky, not Joseph. No one deserved Joseph as he was anyways. Plus, Joseph was a vulnerable stupid worthless idiot. No point in taking that fool out. All he did was make messes.

Virginia was an eight hour drive so they were flying instead. He felt bad that his mother would have to sit in a plane again when she had barely come back but she didn’t seem bothered. Although he was sure she was just putting on an easy going face for his benefit.

No one besides Ivo knew that they were leaving. Well, technically his tétka knew but she didn’t understand the full extent of it all. She hadn’t seen Joseph when she had come over yesterday and his mother had made sure that they stayed downstairs. All his tétka knew was that Joseph _might_ go to a school in Virginia. They didn’t tell her that they had already enrolled him and that they bought a literal mansion because why the fuck not.

Joseph figured that maybe he couldn’t count her as knowing. Because really, she didn’t know anything at all.

And it was better that way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')  
> Стринка (strínka) – a father’s brother’s wife


	176. Chapter 175

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> This is legit the last chpt and I'm just...holy crap... I mean, we still have the epilogue but damn.  
> Damn.  
> It's just insane that this is pretty much it.  
> So today's chpt is short and you're all probs like 'but whyyyy' and I'll say 'because it ends everything nicelyyyyyy' Extra clutter is unnecessary, you know? But don't worry, the epilogue on thurs is legit almost 6500 words soooo I think I make up for today, yeah?  
> I love the epilogue haha  
> Anyways, enjoy today. Also - you'll get more details in my very end note on thurs - Snapshot requests are always open like literally indefinitely. So even if say...i'm on hiatus or whatever, it's 20 years from now, or whatever else, you can request something. 99% chance it gets written. Doesn't hurt to ask you know?
> 
> And here we are
> 
> _“I beat the fag out of Joseph. Black and fucking blue.”_

Not once had he cried after that last breakdown of frustration when he had heard his forgery speaking for the first time. Tears didn’t exist for him anymore.

But it didn’t mean he had been able to entirely rip his feelings apart.

While Joseph had planned a clean break from Hoboken and Jersey and family entirely, he hadn’t been able to bring himself to do it.

So, while on the way to the airport, he made the taxi make two stops before they left.

The first at his aunt’s house.

The second at Emilio’s.

However, he hadn’t spoken to anyone. That wasn’t part of the new plan. Too messy, too much feelings. Too much shit he didn’t need, not to want to have to handle.

Instead, he wrote letters. Old fashioned some might say but to him, it was the perfect solution.

One for Andrey and one for Emilio.

That was it. They were the two that deserved at a least a decent goodbye for everything they had done for him over all these years.

He had made sure to put in a ‘P.S’ for Anka, tetíncho Yulian, and tétka Nikol in Andrey’s letter but hadn’t written them their own. They kind of deserved a goodbye too. Ivet would never forgive him that he wasn’t telling her or that she didn’t at least get a letter but she was going to have to get over it. To be honest, bába would probably be pissed too.

Emilio’s letter was all for the amazing bromilio that Joseph loved so bad. He included no one else in it. Joseph needed him to know how important he was, how much he truly and dearly loved him. Emilio was the person Joseph loved more than anyone.

But who Kavinsky blamed for ruining his life.

It wasn’t fair and it wasn’t even true, but Kavinsky didn’t give a fuck. He just needed someone to route and share the blame with.

Sadly, Emilio took that role.

He’d never let anyone get that close to him again. There was no point to it; it had gotten him thrown out of the only home he had ever known. Kavinsky had sworn he wouldn’t let Ivo kick him out of his own home and yet he had gone back on his word. Granted, the choice had been his and his mother’s but if they were being honest about it, they knew it was mostly made because of the silent monster in the home with them.

Throughout the last days Joseph spent in his house, he hadn’t seen Ivo once. Hell, he hadn’t even heard him. The man left early morning and came home late at night. He was sure that Ivo was doing it to make sure that they didn’t run into each other. His mother only spoke to the man if she had to but other than that, she stayed in Joseph’s room with him.

It was nice knowing he meant more to her than her monster did.

His life here was over. Joseph Kavinsky was no more. He had always been worth nothing anyways. In Henrietta, he’d be Kavinsky who was protected by his armor against this stupid fucking world. Kavinsky would be that guy that everyone hated but wished they could be or just get to touch.

Joseph would become his own form of a monster. One that didn’t get touched by the world because he didn’t need it anyways. He was better than it. Hell, he was a fucking _god._ From his brain alone, he had created a person. Taken a life and replaced it like nothing had ever happened. Nobody even knew anything had happened from how flawless his technique was.

If that wasn’t being God, then nothing was.

The old Joseph couldn’t just be magically deleted though. Deep down, he was waiting with hope that life would turn up, go back to the way it was. Find someone to love him. Kavinsky reminded him how much of an idiot he was being for wanting those things but Joseph had always been a hopeful hopeless bastard.

Nothing had ever worked out for him and even when it did?

It just made things a thousand times worse.

Case and point?

Being in a relationship with Emilio.

“Faggot,” he snarled under his breath to himself as he sat waiting to board the plane. His mother had rushed to use the bathroom before they had to board so she wouldn’t have to use the plane’s. “Fucking faggot.”

That part was being deleted too. _Was_ deleted already. Kavinsky was no fag. He’d fuck every girl in Henrietta if he had to just to prove it too. Find himself a girl to make his own. He wouldn’t love her – he’d never allow himself to love anyone again – but she’d be his.

Kavinsky was no fag.

Never would be. Never would allow himself to be one again. It was unnatural; disgusting.

Utterly revolting.

His chapter here was closed and a new one was opening elsewhere.

This was it.

Joseph didn’t need to show his face anymore or make any sort of appearance for the world. There was no point when no one wanted him anyways. His mother would get him but that was it. No one else would ever get to see who he actually was.

He’d bury himself six feet under, just like Ivo had.

As for Kavinsky?

Kavinsky was going to drop everyone to their knees. These people were beneath him anyways. Until the day came where he’d meet another dreamer if another even existed, no one would ever be his equal.

Ever.

He was a god.

The world was his playpen.

Reality was his nightmare.

And fuck if he wasn’t going to make it beg him for forgiveness. This entire world was going suffer for everything it’d ever done to him.

So maybe he couldn’t get the _whole_ world. Maybe the entire world wasn’t his playpen.

But Henrietta sure as hell was going to be.

Perhaps this would actually end up being fun.

Maybe, just maybe…

He’d make himself the world’s nightmare.

If you were looking for something to hurt you?

 

 

Kavinsky was going to be it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')  
> Стринка (strínka) – a father’s brother’s wife


	177. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sambamart](http://www.sambamart.tumblr.com)
> 
> Like...we're here. This is it. Just...wow...So this epilogue is totally awesome and I love it and I hope y'all do to.  
> Hatty requested another Snapshot, so go check that out if you want to. More Daniel. Who would have thought the boy would be such a hit? Also I've been meaning to write Joseph, Emilio, and the potato launcher incident for a Snapshot. Check for that next week. Tuesday probs.
> 
> And well, yeah. If you noticed, there is a next 'chpt.' Not a chpt but my very last end note and I really hope all of you take the time to read it. It'd mean a lot. And, you know, if you don't care for my thank yous and all that stuff that I put super feelings into - is the guilt trip working? - there's info about what comes after this in terms of stories and when posting happens again. Seriously, do read it.
> 
> One last thing, I updated my tumblr where it shows the stories in the series and summaries and stuff. So if you want to know what is in line to be written, what's currently being written, and stuff like that, check it out.  
> Aaand yeah.
> 
> Thank you all for an amazing journey. Enjoy and read the end note lol  
> DO IT
> 
> Enjoy ;)

_Andrey,_

 

_I didn’t know how to start this at first but I knew I couldn’t just leave without at least saying thank you. Thank you for all the times you were there for me, all the times you offered me those ginormous ears of yours. I was too stupid to use them like I should have. Do I regret it? Maybe. I haven’t decided for sure yet._

_We didn’t always get along. Hell, a lot of times we probably were on the verge of hating each other. But I guess that’s how brothers were supposed to be. Maybe we were at that point, maybe we weren’t. I actually hope we were. Or maybe that’s just another lie I keep telling myself like so many others. Lying to myself is something I’ve always been good at._

_But I don’t think I can manage that anymore. I know what I am. I’m me. And that just means that I’m nothing. Always have been to anyone and everyone. Who was I kidding all these years? Myself apparently. You maybe._

_There’s no point though in wasting this letter talking about a worthless faggot. Instead, I want to make sure you understand that you really were important to me even if I didn’t make it seem that way. I’m sorry that I didn’t. But you really meant a lot and having you in my life was amazing. You’re probably wondering why I’m saying ‘was.’ That’s because that’s it. That part of life is over and a new one is starting. Truthfully, I don’t even think it’ll be better than the last but I can’t bring myself to ruin mayko’s hopes. She keeps looking at me like she can fix this._

_I can’t seem to find a way to tell her that there is no fixing this. I’m broken. Probably always have been. My mistake was not killing myself before she came back. If I had known she would have been so hopeful, I would have just disappointed her without having to see it like I most likely will now. I wouldn’t have had to see the pain that’ll be written on her face when she finds out that her efforts are going to end up being for nothing. I’m not going to be her ‘adorable baby’ that she keeps thinking is still there._

_She doesn’t seem to get that he died._

_Now she’s just left with the shell of her child, a worthless asshole who plans on making everyone’s lives around him into living hell just because that’s how his life turned out. Why do they deserve to have a better life than me? I’m going to ruin everyone I meet._

_And that actually makes me excited._

_My life is shit, always has been really, I just never told anyone. But I want yours to be better than mine was. I won’t know if you’re going to keep this promise or not because if you try to get in touch, I’ll never answer, but promise you’re going to make yourself an awesome life. Get the God fucking nerve and ask Ivet out already. You guys will be great together and make fucking adorable kids. Become something great like I’ll never be._

_And never make your kids feel like shit like my parents did. Don’t be what Ivo is to me._

_Promise me._

_I know when you read this, you won’t even understand what the hell is going on. But then you will once you find out everything. I’m sorry for going without a proper goodbye but consider this yours._

_Thank you for everything. I’ll miss your stupid face._

 

_Joseph_

 

_P.S. Tell Anka I love her for all her craziness and that I’ll miss her. And she can keep my Outsiders book, I don’t mind not getting it back._

_P.P.S. Tell your mom I love her too and I’m sorry for not telling her when I was having a hard time like she always begged me to. It was nothing personal, I just thought I could handle everything alone._

_P.P.P.S. Tell your dad the same stuff and that thank you for being there for me when I needed an ear to listen._

 

Andrey was in tears by the time he finished the letter. Joseph was right, he had no fucking idea what the hell this was about. But it didn’t mean the words didn’t make him cry or upset. What had happened? Why was he talking like this?

What the fuck had happened?

He looked up from his farewell letter when the front door was suddenly yanked open. His father strode in, looking ready to explode. That was so rare that Andrey knew something just had to be very wrong.

What the hell was up with this day?

“Nikol!” his father shouted. Also rare. His father didn’t like to fight in front of them. Furious gaze catching on Andrey in the kitchen, he asked “Where’s mayko?”

“Here,” she snorted, coming down the stairs. “What the hell are you yelling about?”

His father must have looked at him closer because he stepped over to the kitchen, leaning heavily on his cane. He must have exerted himself or something. “Why are you crying?”

The letter was his, private between him and Joseph. He’d pass on the messages he was told to but everything was for him alone. So he countered with “Why are you angry?”

“What’s wrong, Yulian?” his mother yawned, completely ignoring the boiling anger residing in her husband as she too walked over.

“Where’s Vesela and Joseph?” his father asked to his surprise. Did this have something to do with the letter? Why else would he be asking something like that?

His mother was confused if her face was anything to go by. “What do you mean? Where are they? Home, I imagine.”

“Oh yeah? Home,” his father repeatedly sarcastically. That wasn’t like him at all. At least not in this house. Outside and to other people, maybe. Probably. “Then why, Nikol, when I asked your brother-in-law if they’d like to come over for dinner for about the fiftieth time in the past few days he answered with a laugh. Do you want to know what he said with this nasty dry laugh of his?”

“What?” she asked in worry, her brows drawn in while she was biting her thumbnail.

“’Not possible being that they’re not even here, you fucking idiot!’ And do you know what I said? I asked what did he mean they weren’t here? And he laughed again and said they moved! Now imagine my shock when I hear this! Imagine it, Nikol!”

She didn’t look like she could imagine anything right now with her eyes huge in shock and confusion. “What do you mean they moved? I talked to Vesela on the phone only last night, I saw her the day before. She didn’t say anything.”

“When does your stupid fucking sister ever say anything! When, Nikol, has Vesela ever told us she’s having issues besides for when SHE SHOWS UP ON OUR FUCKING DOORSTEP! NOT THAT SHE BOTHERED THIS TIME APPARENTLY!”

“First of all,” his mother retorted with eyes flashing, “Don’t talk to me like that. Second, don’t talk about her like that-”

“Did you see Joseph?” his father interrupted, completely disregarding what she said.

“What?”

“Did. You. See. Joseph.”

“No,” she shrugged. “But I mean, it’s not like that isn’t normal. Sometimes he doesn’t like coming out.”

“Worthless faggot,” Andrey whispered in thought and an inkling of realization. The answer was in the letter, wasn’t it? Joseph had called himself that. He hadn’t thought like that since he and Emilio had gotten together. Why would he now?

“What?” his father asked, turning to him quickly.

He hadn’t meant to say the words aloud. _Don’t be what Ivo is to me._

Tetíncho must have found out.

That was the only thing that made sense.

“Why does it matter if I saw Joseph?” his mother asked, taking his father’s examining gaze back to her.

“Why?” he laughed sarcastically. “Well let me…”

 

* * *

 

“…tell you!” Yulian said in mock excitement. “Ready? It’s an interesting story that Lord Kavinsky said to me today.”

And it was. Oh, it was.

_“What do you mean moved, Ivo?” Yulian asked in confusion. Worry too. How could they just randomly move? Where? And why?_

_Smiling in that sick way that he did when he meant murder, Ivo replied “Virginia, Yulian. Away from me because I’m a monster and all. Deserve to burn in hell.”_

_Now he wasn’t only worried and confused._

_He was scared._

_Not for himself but for Joseph and Vesela. What the hell had happened? Nikol had been there only two days ago; swore everything seemed fine. Maybe she really had been lying or she just wasn’t that observant?_

_“Away from you?” Yulian asked carefully. All words had to be said carefully nowadays. Ever since that day of ‘stomach flu,’ Ivo had been odd. Not to mention that Yulian felt like he was different somehow._

_How was something he hadn’t determined yet though._

_“Oh yes,” Ivo smiled. It was odd because it was like he was on the verge of tears almost even though it was his murder smile. Some form of hysterics? “You know, she said I’d regret what I’d done for more than losing her and fuck if she wasn’t right. Kinda funny how you only ever regret your actions once you lose your chance of making things right!”_

_What the fucking hell had happened? “Maybe you could elaborate on that a bit more.”_

_Smirking and leaning in close where they sat alone in the main room at the meeting table, Ivo whispered “I beat the fag out of Joseph. Black and fucking blue.”_

_His heart stilled in his chest before it rapidly rose to panic. “What?”_

_Leaning back to his before position in his seat, Ivo snorted in this weird form of hysteric sadness “My kid’s a fag, Yulian! A fan of cock apparently! So I beat it out of him!”_

_Oh Jesus Christ no._

_After talking with Andrey that day a month ago, Yulian had the hunch that maybe Joseph was with a boy and that was why nobody knew. Why Andrey didn’t want Yulian asking and why he had lied so easily and well._

_He was glad Andrey and Joseph had, seemingly, gotten over their constant differences. The fact that Joseph trusted Andrey with a secret like that was pretty amazing. Joseph didn’t trust easy. It warmed his heart knowing his son was more than happy to be his cousin’s keeper._

_But maybe this was one secret Yulian should have been let in on._

_Ivo kept going. “See, Vesela didn’t like that when she saw him a couple days later. Said she drew the line at me abusing her baby. So she made them a life in a matter of a few days and bam! They left for it today. Fascinating, right?”_

_Yulian knew that Ivo knew exactly how he would react to these words. It was like he was asking for it. And maybe he was. Maybe this was the best way the disgusting man beside him could think of to punish himself._

_And Yulian was more than happy to give it to him._

“When I found out what he’d done, I slammed his fucking face into the table, breaking his nose. Then I stood, dragged him up with me and pinned him to a wall before I started punching him in the gut again and again. Asen heard the noise and came rushing in to take me off of him. What’s funny is that Ivo just took it. Like he wanted it. The advisors wanted to have me killed for harming my lord. Worst possible crime someone could do, you know. Ivo laughed and said it’s just some fun. They needed to get over their old fat asses. So I was sent home instead. What do think about all this, Nikol?”

She looked like she was ready to break into tears but he couldn’t even bring himself to care. For God’s sake, she had been in their house and she hadn’t even been able to tell. “V-Vesela told me they were looking at a school in Virginia but…but she said they were just looking.”

“How fucking stupid are you!” he blew, his cane dropping onto the floor. Yulian wasn’t happy Andrey was standing watching them with wide eyes but that was the least of his problems right now. “Did you not notice something was wrong!”

Could he really yell at her for that though? For fuck’s sake, he had talked to Joseph the day it happened, probably right after it happened, and believed every lie he had been fed. His nephew had sounded completely fine. _Why couldn’t you trust me to help you?_

Stomach flu, his ass.

“I…” Nikol trailed, looking lost in space as she tried to grasp onto her thoughts and memories. “No. No I didn’t. She made it seem like everything was perfectly fine.” Focusing her gaze back onto him, she asked “How does he know Joseph’s a fag? I don’t even think that’s true.”

How could that be what she wanted to focus on right now? He was about to yell at her some more because that seemed to be the only way he could speak at the moment so he was shocked when Andrey beat him to talking. “Don’t call him that,” his son hissed, looking pissed as he held some paper tight in his hand. “He’s gay, not a faggot.”

Yulian knew Andrey had to know. Knew he had been lied to. Nikol looked shocked by the words as she asked “What do you mean ‘gay?’ Don’t be ridiculous.”

“Why, does it bother you?” Andrey continued, anger taking over his tear streaked face. “Joseph’s gay, mayko. He loves boys; has loved boys for years. He’s been dating Emilio for the past year.”

_“Because he won’t take my calls. And when I go to the house, no one answers. They won’t even take my house calls.”_

Raul hadn’t known what was wrong either.

But he had been onto something. Joseph and Emilio must have been caught together in more than just friendship. That was why Ivo wouldn’t talk to Raul; the detective’s son was half the problem.

If only he had been able to find out more. If only _they_ had been able to found out more. Find out before they lost Joseph entirely.

_I’m so sorry I couldn’t help you, Joseph…_

_I’m so sorry you had to face him alone. That I just kept leaving you there to suffer when I felt something was wrong. I should have done something._

_Please forgive me._

 

* * *

 

_Dear my ever amazing bromilio/my dear pookie,_

 

_This letter was a lot harder to write than the other. It hurt just thinking about everything we’ve been through together._

_Everything I’m leaving behind._

_I love you, Emilio. I always will no matter what. Forever and always, you know? That was supposed to be us. Joseph and Emilio, forever and always, never anything less, no matter what. We didn’t make it. Maybe we were never supposed to. A part of me says maybe we should have just stayed friends, never fallen in love, never taken that chance. We wouldn’t have had each other the way we wanted but at least there’d still be the dynamic duo._

_The other part of me says that I can’t regret that we tried. Because you gave me the happiest year of my entire life. I’ve never felt as good as I felt when I was with you. Or just talking to you. You made me happy in ways that nobody ever did or could. You were my literal sunshine as stupid as it sounds._

_You were everything I always wanted._

_And now I lost you._

_The day we talked, I made it sound like we’d see each other again. That everything would blow over and then we’d be us again. I lied to you. I knew from the minute that we were caught that that was it for us. I’m sorry for lying, for giving you hope. I was too pathetic and weak to tell you the truth._

_I’m sorry for everything. I’m sorry that I wasn’t strong enough to be the other half that you needed. The half you deserved. Deep down, I always knew I wasn’t good enough to be your perfect. But thank you for making me feel that way. Thank you for every bit of love you ever gave me. For every ounce and second that you cared for me in a way that no one ever did. You’re the most amazing person I have ever known. Granted, I don’t know a whole lot of people but you beat them all. Even the ones I don’t know, I’m sure._

_Thank you for being the most amazing boyfriend in the world. Whoever is lucky enough to be with you next will be the luckiest person in the world. I asked Andrey for a promise and now I’m asking one of you._

_Promise me you’ll find someone. One of us deserves that thing called happiness. And I know you’ll find it for the both of us. Love for the both of us. Be everything for this person that you were for me._

_This is the end of the amazing bromilio and broseph but don’t let it be your end. You’re going to be a cop, you’re going to be a part of that damn sexy cop calendar, and you’re going to have a wonderful life. Live a wonderful life because you deserve it._

_And so much more._

_I love you so much. And it hurts to be saying goodbye. But you deserve so much better than I could ever be for you. Than I ever could have been no matter how hard I tried._

_After writing all this, I can say that I don’t regret at all us trying. I wouldn’t take back a single moment with you just so I can have life back the way it was. You were worth every single second. You were my rock, my amazing everything._

_The only boy I’ll ever love. The only person I’ll never hate for anything in this lifetime or the next._

_I’ll never regret meeting you._

_Thank you for being my friend all these years. Thank you for putting up with the complete unworthy mess that makes up Joseph Kavinsky. No one else would have. No one ever wanted to bother to._

_I know you’re going to go and blame yourself for me leaving because you didn’t say anything and I know there’s no point in asking but please don’t. This is just the way it happened. If there’s anyone to blame, it’s me for making you swear not to ever tell anything. I always figured I could handle anything Ivo threw at me._

_And in some ways, I did. In others, I didn’t. But it’s too late for those types of regrets._

_Just know I love you. And that I always knew and felt how much you loved me._

_And thank you for being a part of my life._

_Thank you for every goddamn thing._

_I’ll miss you more than anyone else._

 

_Love,_

_Joseph_

 

It had taken Emilio three tries before he was able to get through the whole letter. He had broken into sobs the minute he had read the third line.

_Everything I’m leaving behind._

He had known what that phone call had been but he hadn’t thought that it was the end of them entirely. Relationship, yeah, he had figured out that much.

But friendship too?

Emilio was officially broken now.

Because he lost both his boyfriend and his best friend at the same time. Without even a goodbye in person. Didn’t he at least deserve that?

At least he had the decency to write him a letter.

The apartment was empty with everyone having gone somewhere so Emilio had decided to use that chance to get some fresh air. But when he had opened his apartment’s door to go into the building stairwell to go outside and breathe that barely even decent Jersey air, he had found a hat with a letter underneath it right at his feet.

The hat had been recognized in seconds.

It was one of Joseph’s; a worn-out white Yankees snapback.

Joseph’s favorite one.

Upon finding an envelope with his name on it in Joseph’s slanted crooked writing, Emilio’s heart stopped beating entirely.

Somehow, he didn’t even know how, he knew this had been coming.

He had felt it.

So now, here he sat in his tears, knees drawn up to his chest, the hat on his head. The letter was clutched tight in his arms to his chest, the words easily memorized into his brain already.

Joseph was gone.

Probably forever.

Emilio knew, he just fucking knew, he should have said something. It had been eating at him like crazy, having to keep the secret inside.

He was so fucking stupid.

And now his boyfriend was gone.

 _Ex-boyfriend_ .

“G-Gone,” he sobbed while his head rested on his knees. “F-Fucking g-gone. I-I’m s-so s-s-sorry, J-Joseph. I-I should h-have told someone. I-I’m so fucking s-sorry.”

Gone.

The best thing that had ever happened to him in his entire life was gone.

Emilio wasn’t sure if he could keep the promise Joseph wanted. How was he supposed to just move on? It’d be the hardest thing in the entire world to do.

Joseph was gone.

“I-I love y-y-you so m-much you stupid b-bastard.”

_I’ll miss you so bad._

_And I’m so sorry for not saving you from hell._

  

* * *

 

Forgetting his wallet had been stupid on his part. But it happened to a person once in a while, especially when you were woken at five in the morning for a case. What the sad part was was that Raul had barely even noticed until right now. It would have been hilarious if he had been pulled over for something and he didn’t have a license to show.

Unlocking the front door, he walked into what was supposed to be a quiet house.

Except it wasn’t.

Because someone was crying. Sobbing was more of an appropriate word, actually.

And it sounded like Emilio.

Walking silently to his son’s room which was, very surprisingly, open, Raul peered in to find Emilio with his knees drawn up and his head rested on them as he cried.

And he was wearing a hat that Raul knew.

Slipping off his shoes and walking over to his crying child, Raul sat on the edge of the bed beside Emilio and softly pulled him into a hug. Slipping the cap off, Raul pressed a soft kiss to his son’s head before resting his own against him. Emilio curled into him as close as he could, now crying into Raul’s shirt.

After minutes had passed, Raul finally murmured “What’s wrong, Emilio?” He could guess but he’d appreciate the actual words. This wasn’t the time for speculation.

“H-He’s g-gone. G-Gone because I-I kept m-my s-stupid m-mouth shut like h-he wanted. I-I’m such a f-f-fucking idiot.”

Now definitely wasn’t the time to correct language. “Gone where?” Where could ‘gone’ be?

He stayed curled in Raul but he could feel Emilio wiping his face with his hands as he said a bit more steadily “I don’t know. He didn’t say.”

“He told you this?”

Unwrapping from him, Emilio wiped his face once more before handing Raul a crumpled and abused paper with a shaky hand. “You can read it. I don’t mind.”

Taking the paper carefully and appreciating the fact that there were no secrets between him and Emilio…well, usually no secrets, Raul focused on what he had in his hand.

And Jesus, did he understand why Emilio was crying so hard.

Setting the paper on his son’s nightstand before pulling Emilio back into another tight hug, Raul murmured “What is it that you didn’t tell?”

Sighing deeply as he rubbed his face into Raul’s chest, he whispered “Mr. Kavinsky.”

“What about him.”

Taking a deep breath – Raul could imagine him closing his eyes too – Emilio whispered “He was abusive.”

He was sure Emilio felt the jump in his heart. What kind of cop was he?

A shitty one.

Joseph had been in an abusive home and he hadn’t even been able to tell. It had never even occurred to him.

How stupid was he?

“Have you ever seen him…” Raul didn’t know what kind of abuse Emilio meant but he felt like sexual wasn’t it. Couldn’t be it from how homophobic Ivo was, right?

But then, what did he know? Nothing as he just proved to himself.

“Hit him? No,” Emilio answered. It sounded stupid but Raul was happy that it at least wasn’t sexual abuse. Physical was a little easier for him to swallow. “I only figured it out when we got together because Joseph let this little hint slip. He made me swear not to tell. Said it didn’t happen like it used to anyways.”

Ivo had mentioned once that he didn’t think he was a good father. Raul hadn’t pushed because Ivo wouldn’t have let him.

Maybe he should have pushed.

“I told him that if I ever saw or knew for sure, that I was going to tell. I never saw or knew for sure so…yeah. I’m a fucking idiot.”

 _You and me both, mijo._ “When you came back from his house upset, what happened?” He also could guess this one; had actually guessed it after his talk with Yulian yesterday. He had meant to go over to talk to Ivo personally about it but he ended up getting caught in his case. Raul had planned on going today.

But it was too late now.

“Mr. Kavinsky caught us,” Emilio whispered in a horribly broken voice. “We locked the door and stuff but I guess we just forgot how quiet he can be. Or how forgetful.” Shrinking into Raul as he thought about it, Emilio added “He’s terrifying, papa. I’ve never been so scared ever. Even when you got shot. This beats that by a thousand times. How Joseph faced him all these years, I don’t know, because I was on the verge of tears and a panic attack and I was only in the room for a few minutes before he threw me out.”

Raul obviously knew how Ivo sounded when he was angry or yelled. And yeah, it could be terrifying.

Especially to two queer boys getting caught in the act by a homophobe.

 _Jesus fuck, Emilio, you should have told me… I could’ve done something._ “What happened after that?”

Shaking his head, Emilio sniffled “I left after Joseph told me to. I was gonna stay even though Mr. Kavinsky said leave. I didn’t want to leave Joseph behind. I shouldn’t have. Worst mistake of my life.”

Personally, he wouldn’t have wanted his child in the room with an angry Ivo. He wouldn’t have wanted either child in that room. What Emilio’s real mistake was was that he didn’t tell an adult.

But Raul wasn’t going to break his child more by saying that. “Then?”

“I walked more than halfway home, trying to think of what to do. Ended up pacing for a half hour on the street while having a panic attack before coming home. I got here and Linda was on the phone with him. That’s when he made me swear not to tell. And that I should stay away for a while. I even told him to let me tell you but he said you’d put him in foster care and that he wouldn’t survive that. I told him you’d never do that but he didn’t want to listen even though I knew he knew that.”

Raul sure as fuck would never do that to him. He’d take him himself despite his financial troubles.

Voice cracking a little, Emilio whispered “He didn’t say the words but I could tell from the way he was talking that we…w-we were done. But I thought…I just…”

“What, mijo?”

The tears were back but they were soft and silent. “I-I thought he just meant our relationship. N-Not that h-he meant everything. I-I didn’t know he was gonna…gonna l-leave.”

 _He was probably thrown out. Not just left because he felt like it._ “I’m so sorry, Emilio. I truly am.”

“I-I’m g-gonna really m-miss him,” he cried, his shoulders shaking hard with his sobs. “R-Really b-b-bad, papi.”

“I know, mijo, I know,” he whispered into Emilio’s hair, clutching him tight. “I know.”

 

 

He had ultimately taken the rest of the day off. Savelio hadn’t appreciated being stuck with a joint case with the feds by herself but it was only a day and he promised her fancy coffee tomorrow.

Today, he couldn’t play cop.

For today, he was tapping into a very old part of him. A part he had sworn off for his first beautiful child.

But a part he’d need to do right by his beautiful son.

Raul had been waiting outside the casino for the past hour. It looked a bit odd for some Hispanic to just be standing around, he knew, so he made it seem like he belonged in the area. He made sure he left behind all his types of identification too. Ivo wouldn’t get him arrested, that he knew for sure, but just in case. Raul wanted to be prepared for the worse.

Wearing a cap on his head just in case someone felt like reporting some guy standing around and to keep his face relatively covered, Raul leaned against the wall of a bakery across the street from the casino as he waited patiently. Hell, he’d done twelve hour plus stakeouts. This was nothing.

It was evening before Ivo finally came out. Thankfully alone because Raul didn’t need the extra stress of some mobsters coming at him for hitting their boss.

Although, by the looks of Ivo’s broken nose and bruised eyes and the way he walked gingerly, someone had already taken their hits.

For some reason, something told him Yulian had found out about Joseph. Hopefully the mob didn’t punish him or something. That was a heavy crime in the mob world.

Ivo was walking down the street that Raul was on, looking down at the sidewalk while lost in his thoughts, making his way towards him. Probably taking a coffee walk or something. Didn’t matter to Raul; he had business with the mobster.

Ducking into the alley before the bakery, Raul waited until Ivo passed him by a second before yanking him into the alley and shoving him against a wall. The mobster smirk excitedly as if he had been waiting for this. “Why hello. I don’t think we’ve met? I’ve met Detective Vidal but I think this just might be gangbanger Raul.”

Clutching the man’s collar tight along with an arm and shoving his knee into Ivo’s groin, Raul hissed “You piece of shit. You disgusting piece of shit.” Thinking that the hurt he saw in Ivo’s eyes that flashed for a second must have been his imagination, Raul continued “Are you proud of yourself?”

“I’m curious,” Ivo drawled, a slight tinge of pain in his voice from getting his dick smashed. “Did you know that your kid is a faggot?”

The punch landed before Raul even registered that he had swung. Ivo grunted in pain but took it without protest. It was like he wanted it. Wanted to suffer some sort of pain. “My kid isn’t a fag, fuckwad. My son is bisexual.”

“You say that like it’s something to be happy about. How can you live with the fact that you have a fag in your home? Banger Raul Vidal gave birth to a fag. Doesn’t bug you?”

Once upon a time, many years ago, it had.

It sure as hell didn’t now. Because his son was an amazing young man. A beautiful young man who saw the amazingness of every gender.

He would never be ashamed of that again.

“I’m proud of my son for who he is. I love him for who he is. Which was something you couldn’t do for yours. You’re absolutely disgusting, you know that? Fucking revolting.”

Ivo looked over him carefully before raising a brow and saying “You knew they were together.”

“I’ve known that Emilio has had a crush on Joseph since he was eight, five months after he told me that he likes boys just like girls. I’ve known that Joseph is gay since they got together on his birthday last year. I also happen to know that they were planning on having sex for the first time this summer. I know a lot of things, Ivo. Not one of those things bother me. I’ve been repeating to them how to have safe sex for the past year. I wanted them to share a room alone in San Diego because I knew it was the only privacy they’d ever get. I even know that they talked about moving to California to get married. What do you think about all that? Does it make you even more disgusted?”

He could tell just from Ivo’s face that it did. Especially when he had mentioned sex. “Burn in hell.”

Maybe he would but not for the reasons Ivo would be. “After you, bitch. What’s gonna happen right now? It’s for all the hell you ever put Joseph in, you abusive piece of shit. It was my mistake for ever liking you, for considering you a close friend. I’m not making that mistake anymore.”

He swung.

And didn’t stop until he felt like Joseph got at least a little justice.

  

* * *

 

Plopping down onto the couch in pain, Ivo set his bottle of whiskey on the coffee table. Plopping hadn’t really been the best idea. He ached, his body burning and throbbing like hell from all the hits he had taken today.

But he didn’t stop a single one of them. From Yulian or Raul. Didn’t raise a fist, didn’t fight back.

Just accepted karma.

He hadn’t bothered to change before he grabbed his alcohol and a glass. All he did was throw his suit jacket on the couch once he had carefully removed it from his sore body and slip off his shoes.

The house was such an eerie quiet that he hated. They had even taken Peanut with them.

Ivo was very much alone now.

As he deserved.

Vesela had been right. Once the silence of being alone sank in, he regretted everything. Maybe he should have just acted like he accepted Joseph and then simply avoided him. Would that have worked?

 _No, Vesela would have been onto me in seconds._ How did Raul just accept that his kid was a fag? “Bisexual, he says,” Ivo snorted in disgust. “As if being a half a fag isn’t a big deal. A fag is a fag.”

And his kid was one.

“Vesela’s kid,” he muttered as he popped off the lid for his whiskey before filing his glass. He didn’t want a faggot.

Would he regret that later?

Yeah, he probably would. But he’d worry about it when he got to that point. Not before.

_“What if you get mad at me for something and never want to talk to me again?”_

_Ivo erupted into laughter. As if. “Don’t be stupid, Joseph. What the hell could you possibly do that would make me that mad at you to that sort of extent? Or even vice versa? Never talk to him, he says.”_

“You were getting at something, weren’t you?” Ivo questioned into the silence of his home that wasn’t feeling like home anymore. “You were trying to see.”

Jesus fucking Christ.

Regret.

Yeah…

He was kind of already regretting. Not to the point where he’d accept a fag or beg for forgiveness but the guilt kind of rested in his chest.

It had hurt like fuck reading the note this morning. They had made so much progress over the years, become close like Ivo had always wanted.

He had fucked that up.

And there was probably no going back.

Pulling the note out of his pocket because he had kept it on him all day as a reminder of the puddle of shit he had turned his life into, Ivo read it again as he took a sip of his drink. He had found it once they had left folded nice and neatly under one of Lady Calico’s paws on Joseph’s dresser. Just that rejection of a stuffed animal that Ivo knew Joseph loved had hurt.

However, not as much as the words had.

_Can’t wait until you burn in hell you piece of fucking shit._

“Talk about a goodbye,” Ivo laughed into his drink even though he sort of just felt like crying right now. Similar to how he had wanted to this morning upon finding the note in the first place. All he got was two lines of writing. Ivo couldn’t help but wonder if anyone else got letters and if they got more than he did.

_Enjoy being alone. It sucks. Trust me, I know._

“Being alone,” he reread. “Yup, it’s wonderful. Wonderful.”

Ivo truly was alone. Hell, even the voices who had accompanied him for so long were gone.

He was completely alone.

Raising his glass, he called out “Cheers to me! Aren’t you proud now, Yosef? I’m you! Everything you always fucking wanted! Three cheers for me!”

Why his father’s condescending voice wasn’t in his head anymore, he had no idea. One knew they were truly alone when they’d be happy if their insanity would come back.

Downing his drink in one go, Ivo refilled his now empty glass. He planned on finishing the whole bottle tonight. He needed to celebrate! He was Yosef now!

“Everything you always wanted!” he lied to himself before taking a gulp. “Be proud!” Another gulp before he decided fuck it, and downed it all before refilling once more.

Everyone was gone. He had lost every single person he loved or liked or cared for. They were either gone, dead, or now hated him for a fag.

Or hated him because he had beaten them into the floor.

Yulian truly hated him now. Raul too. Nikol had left him about six messages to make sure she screamed everything she had to say. Even Anka had left him a message cursing him to hell and back. Someone must have told Ivet the news because even she had left a message. He listened to them all and saved each one.

He wanted them for when he was in the self-hating mood.

A bit like he had been all day.

Which was why he accepted the beatings he deserved.

Raising his third glass, Ivo laughed “Here’s to me.”

The world had always been his fucking nightmare, ever since he was six and realized how horrible his father was compared to others. Fuck, even Damyan had been better to his kids than his father had been to him. Only on occasion to Pavell; his father had always liked him better. Ivo had always said and sworn time and time again that he was going to make sure that he was never what his father was when he had kids.

But all he did was do the exact same shit.

He had made his kid’s world a nightmare.

And he was the lead actor.

This chapter of his life was over. The good, the fun, the happy.

This was it.

It was over.

 

 

Let hell commence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgarian Dictionary (If I put anything wrong, please let me know)
> 
> Баща (bashtá) – father, usually called “tatko” or “tate"  
> Майка (máyka) – mother, addressed as “mamo” or “mayko”  
> Син (sin) – son  
> Внук (vnuk) – grandson  
> Дядо (dyádo) – grandfather  
> Баба (bába) – grandmother  
> Прадядо (prádyádo) – great-grandfather  
> Тъст (tust) – the father of a wife  
> Тетка (tétka) – a mother’s sister  
> Тетинчо (tetíncho) – a mother’s sister’s husband  
> Чичо (chícho) - a father's brother (also like 'mister' or 'sir')  
> Стринка (strínka) – a father’s brother’s wife


	178. Very End Note

I guess the best way to do this is by starting off and saying thank you.

So thank you to each and every single one of you guys for embarking on this huge rollercoaster journey with me. I seriously wouldn’t have made it without each and every single one of you guys. You guys were the ones who motivated me all the way through and knowing that you guys were enjoying what I was writing is what pushed me through writer’s block when it decided to hit with full force.

Thank you to each and every one of you guys. Again and again.

This journey is hardly over, however, this chapter of Joseph’s life is. When I started this story, it was never supposed to be this extensive, this huge, but I realized along the way that the best way to tell how I saw his story was to go all the way. Go big or go home. That’s the only way, you know?

I truly hope you all enjoyed it as much as I did. This story was and still is a huge part of me. It’s a bit of the baring of my soul in a way. And I think for a first time writing a story/fanfic, I did a pretty damn good job. And I hope you guys think so too. My writing got better as I went along and I’m really proud of how far I’ve come.

And I couldn’t have done it without you guys.

So thank you.

A very special thanks to all the lovely people who took the time to kudos and comment especially. You guys helped push me when I needed it, brightened my day when I was down. Talking to you guys is truly fantastic. You guys get a very very special thank you, each and every one. Even the ones who only stopped by once.

Thanks to my lovely commenters:

changge, bpdcerberus, Rian, KRISTIANN, Flaviá, fly.away, Grey Fox, Levy_Lance, love to on, BBIA, and kenopsia.

I want to give an even more special thank you to a few very amazing people who were almost always there:

The ever amazing Hatty Hattington, the fantastical Fangirl_Goldfish, the very lovely Saffooo, and the wonderful inwaytoodeepopps. BSymph also gets a special thank you and I’m legit still not over that essay you wrote me all those months ago.

Another thank you also goes to tumblr user semmiben who sent me amazing messages over there. Thank you, my dear Hungarian fan.

I really hope that I get to hear very every single one of my readers to let me know what you think about the story in its entirety. Everything that worked or didn’t, or just telling me that you enjoyed it would be great. Hell, if you didn’t enjoy it, then tell me. Realistically, I know getting all of y’all to say something is not gonna happen but it’d be great if you guys would prove me wrong. I’d be on cloud nine for months.

But I hope that at least my commentators would let me know what you guys think of it all. Especially those ones who only spoke once or twice or have been gone awhile for so long. I’d love to hear what you think now that we’re done.

Pretty much, I hope to hear from everyone.

A thanks goes to my beta though she didn’t beta the entire thing but she was there in the beginning. A thanks also goes to my family because even though they had no clue what the hell I was writing, they’d help me with ideas when I needed it. And this is starting to sound like the acknowledgments in a novel lol.

And the last thanks goes to each and everyone of you guys. Yeah, I said that a billion times already but it’s really not enough and probably never will be.

Thank you.

 

So where do we go from here?

Nightmare in Henrietta y’all.

I want you guys to come back – and hopefully all of you will – December 19 th for me. That’s when we’ll kick off our lovely sequel. Write down the date or do author subscription, whatever works for you. Just make sure you come back for the rest of the story. I’m taking the time to write a good amount of chapters so we don’t have to worry about getting behind. I’ll also be fixing up Emilio’s story and outlining the story that comes after Nightmare in Henrietta.

Now this doesn’t mean I won’t be around. You suddenly think of a Snapshot you want after rereading this monster now that it’s officially finished and almost done being completely edited(hint hint)? Hit me up and I’ll write it up and post it. You just want to chat? Tumblr would be better for that but if that doesn’t work for you, my email is somewhere in one of the notes or just comment on this note/’chpt’. I’ll answer you.

So pretty much just because I’m not updating, doesn’t mean I’m not here. Hit me up because, really, I’d love to hear from you guys.

 

So again, thank you. And I truly hope you guys enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Don’t forget, December 19th.

And I’ll still be here.

 

Sam

 

P.S. Even if we’re fifty years from now – I’m legit serious – I’ll still answer comments and Snapshot requests. Just because this story is finished, doesn’t mean it’s closed. You didn’t understand something or need something clarified? Hell, comment as you read. I’ll answer. You just got random questions? Go for it. I’ll answer it all.

P.P.S. Occasionally through the hiatus time, I’ll be posting Snapshots of scenes that I didn’t put in the story. Subscribe or keep your eyes peeled!

P.P.P. S. Okay so I’m not actually almost finished editing but I’m getting there. The edits are grammar and stuff I missed and I’m also rewording some stuff now that my writing is better. Nothing will be added except minor details.

Now I’m done haha.

 

Sam ;)


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